Poems by Rose Cervantes

The Joys of the Closet

Closet as portal not prison

Closet as backstage VIP access

I choose who enters I choose who sees me

I choose me and I choose you

My closet holds me

My closet holds the world I’m building

It’s Eve’s Domain

It’s the Second entrance to Narnia

My Own Paradise, my own Hell

My own sin, my own redemption

I marinate in my mind, digest my desire And I imagine how your voice sounds like in the morning.

I don’t hide here. I think here

I breathe in and the breath doesn’t stick to my chest here… I exhale…

I memorize the frown lines on my face

Shake them out like a broken etch a sketch

And invite time from the night-shift in, As I practice smiles in the mirror.

I don’t hide here. I hold myself here. When I was 15 my boyfriend locked me in a closet. It took me 12 years to realize how safe I was with a door between us.

I’m a locksmith. I’m a time traveler.

I’m a Drag King in the making.

I’m a revived caterpillar

Eating the leaves I like in the closet. Get use to the sweetness in my mouth. In my gut. In my wings. My chrysalis is warm kindness, a naked knowing….

Undressed,

I don’t hide here. I hold myself. Together - here

Closet as portal, not prison.

-----------------

Restless Pollen

In a lullaby

I found nightmares of a sweetness crawling over taste buds, and I cannot taste. Instead yellow footprints dance and I want to follow

Sleeping inside these tulips are dead bees. We ignore this etch-a-sketch reality. Insist dreams don’t fade when we open our eyes.

In a lullaby

I found the moment the song ends

To be the moment I unravel, unhinge from this story. Off-script, I want to be the bee before it dies. The plot is dripping into the soundtrack. If I don’t die playing the harp then the song must still be playing. If no one’s around to hear the harpist snap a string — Do we keep dancing without music?

The breeze carries forgotten melodies memories mysteries and maybe bee miracles. Pollen disappears shows up on damn near everything.

If I must be restless I beg the bees keep your stingers attached. We need wildflowers willing to sway along the highway as we sit stuck in traffic from point A to point B.

The speakers in dreamworld are blown. Extension cords torn. Discarded harp strings made wind chime. Some of us dancing. Some of us dead. This lullaby doesn’t put me to sleep

I’m waiting for the end of a song I can’t recall. Meanwhile Those who feast on bees

Flies mites spiders raccoons

Enjoy the tune

But only know the words to the chorus. I can’t sleep.

---------------

Where I learned strength

In a home built with the hands of chaos, I learned strength by counting my skin cells over and over. Found solace in repetition. Found strength that 7 always 8 9 And 10 always comes home.

I learned strength in the plastic rubber bands of my braces tightening, tenderizing each gap between tooth Pulling myself together. Slowly. Quietly. Nearly still but constant.

I found strength in my mothers spine. That always seemed big enough to have space For 5 kids to grab hold. And cling to love Even when our hands get tired.

I found strength in dark places filled with The type of love

Only realized by pain. the type of love that blends and bends and sends me to places of peace. I just need to figure out how to mend all off pieces.

Rose Cervantes

Rose Cervantes is a Cuban creative committed to building community. Her poetry and art center on mental health, Latinx heritage, and the dualities of the human experience. Rose is fueled by uplifting people who don’t fit inside “the box” of dominant white culture and passionately creates vulnerable spaces where art encourages authenticity. Outside of Rose's creative work, she balances the following roles: Program Officer at Pinellas Community Foundation, Half of the artist duo behind Collect Your Thoughts, Mi Gente Mi Pueblo Mover. Rose proudly embraces her Latine, Gay, Femme, and mental health labels to help pave the way to a more inclusive world. She loves dancing, sour candy, and her rescue animals, Penelope and Frederick.