Sophie Woman's Magazine April 2015

VOLUME 11 - ISSUE 2 / APRIL 2015

INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ We Were Created To Need Each Other. | Page 14 Sophisticated Women ~ Would You Like To Dance? | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Could Quitting Set You Free? | Page 28 shutterbuggerz photos throughout magazine

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

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Message Heart from the

From The Editor: Judy Smith

We have a new Pastor at our church and we are so excited. His name is Jerry Chaddick. He and his family have gotten settled in somewhat now and we are in for some exciting times. Pastor Jerry preaches The Word of God and does not hold back any punches!

He has been preaching on forgiveness. That is something we usually do not want to hear much about. We don’t want to forgive. Like the little lady in this story I heard about…..

The preacher's Sunday sermon was Forgive Your Enemies. Toward the end of the service, He asked his congregation, "How many of you have forgiven their enemies".

About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. As it was past lunchtime, this time about 80 percent held up their hands. He then repeated his question again. All responded, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs. Jones?" inquired the preacher. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?

"I don't have any." she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Jones, That is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-three," she replied.

"Oh Mrs. Jones, what a blessing and a lesson to us all you are. Would you please come down in front of this congregation and tell us all how a person can live ninety-three years and not have an enemy in the world."

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said "I outlived the old hags."

Just kidding… but it does make the point that we just do not want to forgive. When someone hurts us we naturally want to hurt them back. I have had my share of hurt but I have also done my share of hurting. We have choices to make. We can ask for forgiveness for the wrongs we have done and we can forgive the ones who have wronged us OR we can hang onto all that unforgiveness till it makes us sick. Unforgiveness actually harms us more than the one we are unwilling to forgive. Lewis Smedes said “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you”.

There is another person that is usually the hardest person to forgive and that is you. When you have wronged someone, you can ask for forgiveness, first from God and then from the person you have wronged.

The great news is, God is always willing for forgive. That might not be the case with the person you have wronged but that is not your responsibility if you have genuinely asked for forgiveness. You can’t make someone forgive you if they don’t want to. Then there is you….

Have you ever found yourself picking that sin back up and carrying it around with you? You have done all you can do and yet you have this burden. You have asked God’s forgiveness. So what’s the problem? It is unbelief. We either don’t believe God will or can forgive us for what we have done. Yet that is not the truth. In His Word to us, He tells us He is faithful to forgive if we just ask. He is FAITHFUL! You can ask and He can forgive and will forgive. You can lay that burden down.

A Sunday School teacher had just concluded her lesson and wanted to make sure she had made her point. She said, “Can anyone tell me what you must do before you can obtain forgiveness of sin?”

There was a short pause and then, from the back of the room, a small boy spoke up. "Sin," he said.

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P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production Manager: Scott Hansley Graphic Design: Brittany LeFever Sales: Marion Keener 828-320-0040 marion@sophiewomansmagazine.com Saralyn McGalliard 828-244-1617 saralyn@sophiewomansmagazine.com Lydia Locasio 828-781-1839 lydia@sophiewomansmagazine.com

A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses.

How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste.

For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.

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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 6 Sophisticated Women............................................pg 8 Hollow Chocolate Easter Bunnies...................pg 12 Girlfriends In God.............................................pg 14 Health to Thrive................................................pg 18 Save Local Coupons.........................................pg 22 Something “Good” To Talk About.................pg 24 The Front Porch..................................................pg 26 Me, Myself, & Inc...........................................pg 28 Step Into Spring...............................................pg 31 Recipes For Life...............................................pg 32 Times Are Changing.........................................pg 36 Take Time To Notice The Blooms In Your Life...pg 40 You Don’t Get A Hall Pass On This One.............pg 44

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5

Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Ceragioli Photography

REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: People:The True Currency of Success

by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author

“None of us is as smart as all of us.”

Laurie Beth Jones

I

have a friend from Vermont staying in my home for a few weeks while attending a six-week training program. She is full of joy and insight, making her a wonderful addition to my daily life. For a person who spends a lot of time alone, having great people around is a catalyst that jump-starts my thinking on the true value of people. One of my best friends calls people “the true currency of success.” I recently took this concept and created a short inspirational talk for a group of female leaders. I thought you might enjoy a few notes from that recent presentation and conversation.

Think for a moment about a few of your favorite people. Get a strong mental image of them. Now think of a few of the people in your immediate circle of influence … your co-workers, your neighbors, the bank teller or cashier that you often visit.

When you think about these people, think about where you would be without them if they all disappeared today. How would your life change?

The thought of your key people vanishing may leave some of you stunned and breathless. When you picture this image, you can almost feel the loss and the loneliness. Now, one more question. If I could visit your people and interview them today, would they have an awareness of how much you value them? Or would they be uncertain?

When we break life down, we quickly realize that people are central to it all. And yet, we live in a busy, distracted, multi-tasking culture that often fails to focus on people long enough to convey their true value.

Submitted by Faerie Light Photography

pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

When I recently shared these value concepts, together we realized that without relationships, we would not have families, communities or businesses. And without communication, those relationships would be weak and unhealthy … much like a malnourished individual.

So, let’s get bold enough to self evaluate in the area of RELATIONSHIPS and COMMUNICATION. Today is the day to take your approach to “intentionally valuing others” to the next level. Start by asking yourself the following questions to assess how you are doing in this area: 1. Does your entrance into a room SHIFT the dialogue up or down? In other words, does your contribution to others leave them feeling like they can soar into their highest destiny or like they are oppressed by a heavy weight?

2. Do you treat your family like a TEAM, with every person knowing they have a valued position that is unconditional and full of purpose?

3. Do you treat your co-workers or employees like a FAMILY? Do they come away at the end of each day confident that they have a place of belonging and contribution that fills them with significance and ignites their best work?

Now, let’s look at a few key strategies that will empower us all to become champions of the people we value. Don’t get stuck beating yourself up if you feel you are letting others down. Instead, turn that realization into your MOMENT of TRANSFORMATION by taking action on any of these ideas or by creating your own: ◊ Learn to treat your family as a TEAM and your team as a FAMILY. ◊ Practice the art of the COMPLIMENT. Find simple things to compliment others on, do it publicly and celebrate those discoveries OFTEN! ◊ FAIL by example, becoming a person who is quick to forgive and release all offenses. This is one of the most powerful ways to prevent yourself from becoming self-protective and self-serving.

◊ Practice SELF RENEWAL. Individuals who are tired, hungry, lonely and angry lash out at others unknowingly, driving those they love away. The art of self-renewal is NOT SELFISH … it is essential! ◊ Only speak out of SOLUTION-BASED VENTING. Stop the gossip and start a dialogue that brings real solutions to the strain on relationships. Learn to get real with each other, but do so in a way that brings healing, not more hurting. ◊ Become a person who would rather BUILD OTHERS UP than to be built up. ◊ Invest in becoming a SHAPER TOOL. Many professionals, including artists and sculptors, use shaper tools to give shape to their creations. If you were a human shaper tool, what do you want to shape into those around you?

We need to realize that the words we speak and the ways we invest are shaping those around us. Let’s commit to being a people determined to shape others into all they were created to be, not who we think they should be. The greatest gift you give to those around you in to value and love unconditionally, while speaking life and significance into each person. Go out today and have fun changing the world one person at a time!

This article was inspired by Kim’s highly valued relationships. As a Life Coach of global impact, Kim and her team would love to share these principles of influential leadership and cultural transformation with your group or organization. Contact Kim today for a FREE proposal on a powerful coaching partnership. You may contact her team of coaches and speakers directly at: kimfletchercoach@aol.com / 828 327 6702.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7

Shutterbuggerz

Sophisticated

Women...

Dance

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

Submitted by Allen Finley

The one thing that can solve most of our problems is dancing. –James Brown, Grammy Hall of Fame R&B Artist Do you feel good? If not, I know what will make you feel good.

You need to dance. In fact, you were meant to be danced.

Submitted by Jamie Lynn Photography Submitted by JW Photography

There’s nothing like your favorite song coming on the radio to shift your mood, spike your energy catapulting you into movement. Whatever dominated your thoughts is instantly moved to the back of your mind when you start to dance. Angst disappears. Worry evaporates. Your spirit takes over. You find your rhythm. You get in the groove!

Country music star, John Michael Montgomery declares “Life is a dance. Don’t worry ‘bout what you don’t know, life’s a dance, you learn as you go.” This is solid advice. I would add that; you, a sophisticated woman, pay attention to what songs make you race for the dance floor.

While the dance is a metaphor for life, the song is a metaphor for the calling on your life. Some love country songs, while others crave classical and others shout like Joan Jet, “I love rock and roll!” This isn’t a mystery. It’s a fact that you are uniquely hard-wired. Indeed, you march to the beat of a different drum.

The sophisticated woman on purpose seeks out opportunities to dance.

She lives life moving, gliding, dipping, swaying, twisting, and turning in an effort to express her unique abilities, purpose, and calling.

Submitted by Moose Photos

A great example of dancing through life making a scene on the dance floor was Ann Richards, former first female governor of Texas. She knew first hand how demanding it is to take center stage and dance. She quipped, “After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did.

She just did it backwards in high heels.” Ann’s career began modestly with her holding offices and participating in politics as an activist.

Despite being a woman in politics in a very conservative state, Ann found her rhythm, practiced her politics and found herself as the bell of the ball at the governor’s mansion in Austin, TX. This is absolutely amazing considering her personal life was falling apart just eight years before she became Governor. She was divorced, an alcoholic, yet deep down Ann knew she was a dancer. Ann’s political success was built on the principles of all great dancers. ~ Be vulnerable. ~ Be willing to practice. ~ Find your rhythm.

This is your invitation. May your life have this dance?

Let’s get out on the dance floor.

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

Here are three “Smarts!” for becoming a dancer living life to the fullest.

1. Sign up or visit that class, group or event you’ve secretly been longing to investigate. That desire that won’t go away is your invitation to the ball. Explore getting your master’s degree. Take a painting lesson. Join the writers group. Be vulnerable.

2. Once you’ve found your dance troupe, show up consistently, learn the moves, and create something beautiful. I implore you to read the book, Mao’s Last Dancer by Li Cunxin. It will inspire you to practice. Be willing to practice.

3. Pay attention to the beat, the melody, and the harmony that moves you in your ordained groove. Sing your song. Change your career.

Become an artist. Find your rhythm.

After all, you the sophisticated woman have come to be danced.

At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www. thelydiagroup.com

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pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11

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pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

Hollow Chocolate Easter Bunnies

by Mary Felkins

Like clouds and wind without rain is one who boasts of gifts never given.

Proverbs 25:14 As a child I waited patiently - no, anxiously - for Easter morn. Each year my mother painstakingly prepared a colorful basket for my five siblings and me, each filled full of treats. And with fair and equal portions. This I know because I peeked in their baskets, stopping short of an actual candy count. But my sin of selfishness is, ahem, a story for another day.

What joy to find rattling plastic eggs with jelly beans or coins inside.

Mom included several of Brach’s classic clear cellophane wrapped, hard candy shell Easter eggs filled with fluffy marshmallow centers.

Speckled, white malted milk balls that when licked then rubbed across my lips created the look of a 60’s female rocker from The Ronnettes (a ritual I still perform which quickly results in eye-rolling around the table followed by, “Seriously, Mom?”) And, yes, those yellow Peeps typically made an appearance. Ah, but the main attraction that drew my eye was the large chocolate Easter bunny in the middle. My heart drummed inside my chest in anticipation while the message of the resurrection of Jesus Christ got buried beneath a bunny-shaped, chocolate carb overload.

With hopeful anticipation I’d wiggle the bunny free from the annoying tangled nest of green cellophane grass, slowly peel away the colorful foil wrapping, and bite into one of its ears. Sometimes the bunny remained firm, solid through and through, before softening into a chocolaty liquid that I rolled around on my tongue. Other years, regrettably, it collapsed when I bit into it. Hollow.

What looked like a solid bunny and felt like a solid bunny was nothing but air trapped inside a chocolate shell. By golly, that chocolate bunny boasted of something delightful but hadn’t delivered. Much like storebought sandwich bread packaged in an amber-tinted bag and labeled

“wheat” when those soft, fluffy slices offer no more fiber than a few blades of fresh cut grass. Like clouds and wind that promise rain to a parched earth only no rain comes. Despite the disappointment, you can be sure I ate that thing in its entirety.

But I wonder…

On hollow-chocolate-Easter-bunny-kinda-days do I wrap myself in a virtual shiny foil, holding fast to my solid chocolate persona when really I’m feeling more like a fragile chocolate shell?

Here’s the thing. What makes me hollow? ~ Maybe it’s fear of being authentic, letting others know there’s a gnawing emptiness inside. ~ Maybe it’s making promises I don’t, won’t, or can’t keep. ~ Maybe it’s projecting that all is well behind the shiny foil wrap when I’ve allowed life to drain my insides. ~ Maybe it’s the erosion of self-reliance, an unwillingness to accept help (I got this thing.

Right?).

And what makes me solid? ~ Consuming His word. A lot. Because it’s sweeter than honey (Psalm 19:10) and fills me full. ~ Walking in the truth of who He’s made me and how He’s made me. Because, body and soul, I’m marvelously made! (Psalm 139:14, MSG.) ~ Surrendering to His gentle poke on my shoulder when He’s called me to something. Because obedience fills and restores me in a way that nothing else does (Deuteronomy 30:2-3). ~ Choosing gratitude. In all circumstances. Because grumbling isn’t an option (I Thessalonians 5:18). ~ Surrounding myself with solid sisters who remind me of my Source of fullness.

I vote for being a solid sister in my relationships with others in hopes that they will ultimately be drawn to the faithful One Who always, always satisfies. Why? Because He is alive. And isn’t that ultimately what Easter is all about? Indeed it is.

About the Author Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Throughout the course of her private nutrition consulting business she wrote much of her own teaching materials.

Mary is currently constructing her first Christian contemporary romance using principles taught by My Book Therapy (www.mybooktherapy.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written.

She is married to Bruce and they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver.

Mary cordialy invites you to take a plunge into the deep oceans of thought or to stop and laugh out loud at her website, www. maryfelkins.com Email contact maryfelkins@charter.net

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13

Gaps

by Mary Southerland Today’s Truth

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God(2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV).

Friend to Friend

I am not normally a fan of boxing, but there is one boxing movie that I love – the first Rocky Balboa movie. Yep! It’s a winner.

One particular part of the movie really grabbed my attention. Over the years, it has produced layers of spiritual truths in my life. I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s true. Stay with me.

Here’s the story. Rocky barely made enough money to buy food and pay the rent on his truly disgusting and roach-infested apartment.

Rocky’s job was to retrieve money for a loan shark. Translation? He was a muscle man and probably broke various body parts to collect past due loans for his boss, Gazzo.

But in his spare time, Rocky boxed. His good friend Paulie, a meatpacking-plant worker, let him practice his punches on the carcasses hanging in the freezers. Disgusting!

When heavyweight champion Apollo Creed visited Philadelphia, his managers wanted to set up an exhibition match between Creed and a struggling boxer, touting the fight as a chance for a "nobody" to become a "somebody." The match was supposed to be easily won by Creed, but someone forgot to tell Rocky, who saw the fight as his only shot at the big time. The fight lasted 15 rounds, and even though Rocky lost, sportscasters and the spectators went wild as the announcer shouted, “This was the greatest exhibition of guts and stamina in the history of the ring!”

Now that is dedication and commitment and perseverance … but not the truth I am going for. The truth that really hit me was tucked in a seemingly unimportant conversation between Rocky and Paulie. For me, it was the heart of the film.

Paulie’s shy and quiet sister, Adrian, worked in a local pet store where Rocky went almost every day. He said it was to buy food for his pet turtles. Seriously? He really went to see Adrian.

At first, Adrian shrugged off Rocky’s attempts to impress her and adamantly rejected his invitations to go out. Paulie could not understand what Rocky saw in his sister.

Paulie: [talking about Adrian] You like her?

Rocky: Sure, I like her.

Paulie: What's the attraction?

Rocky: I dunno. She fills gaps.

Paulie: What's 'gaps'?

Rocky: I dunno. She's got gaps. I got gaps. Together we fill gaps.

We were created to need each other – to fill in each other’s gaps – a truth that resonates in every relationship.

One of the main factors leading to my first major struggle with clinical depression was the profound absence of replenishing friendships in my life.

My pride kept me from admitting that I wasn’t Superwoman and really didn’t need anyone else. My insecurity held me back from reaching out

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

to new friends and cultivating old ones. To admit my need of a friend seemed like a weakness instead of the precious gift that it is.

I refused to take the risk of being hurt, rejected, or misunderstood. I did not have time to invest in building intimate friendships because I was too busy doing the work of God. And when the darkness hit, I felt isolated and alone. There were a lot of gaps in my life.

Friendship took on an entirely different meaning in my life from that point on. Friends are a great source of strength and encouragement in my life today.

Friends fast and pray for me, holding me accountable and confronting me when they see my priorities askew. I have one friend who will not hesitate to look me dead in the eye and say, “Stop it!” when my schedule is out of control. Oh, how I love that woman!

Friends make me stop and take time for fun. Friends have taught me to be transparent. Have I been hurt along the way? Yes. Have there been times when I have been misunderstood? Sure. Have the friendships been worth the price? Absolutely!

The gaps have been filled with the encouragement of friends.

Sand hill cranes are not only interesting creatures, but also great illustrations of Biblical encouragement. These large birds that fly great distances across continents have three remarkable qualities.

First, they rotate leadership. No one bird stays out in front all of the time. They take turns filling that particular gap.

Second, they choose leaders who can handle turbulence well. Not everyone is shaped to fit the same gap.

Third, all during the time that one bird is leading, the rest of the birds are honking their affirmation.

We need to celebrate the fact that we have gaps, others have gaps, but together … we got no gaps.

Amen!

Let’s Pray

Father, I come to You today … gaps and all. I know how much I need You, but today, I admit how much I need others. Teach me how to be real and transparent. Help me learn how to tear down the walls in my life and throw away the masks I tend to wear. I want to be honest. I want to be a woman of emotional integrity who honors You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

If you need encouragement, think of two people with whom you can share that need and make a plan to do so.

Look for people in your life to encourage.

Write a note of thanks to someone who has encouraged you.

More from the Girlfriends

Friends make life a lot more fun and a lot more rewarding. Yet, many of us struggle to find true friendship and don't know what it means to be a real friend. I Need a Friend is a six-week-study based on the lives of Ruth and Naomi. This study offers nine steps we can take to experience the vibrant relationships for which we were created. Check it out!

Check out theFREE MP3s on Mary’s website.And be sure to connect with Mary through email or on Facebook.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17

Health to Thrive Preparing Healthy Snacks!

Let’s have a snack! Our stomachs are designed to hold about a fist size amount of food. Therefore, snacking, or grazing, throughout the day is ideal, if done appropriately. Some people are afraid to snack because they are watching their weight and they fear snacking can lead to weight gain. But quite the contrary can be true. Providing your body with small amounts of nutrient dense foods is like putting a dry piece of wood on a fire to keep it burning steadily.

Additionally, eating small amounts of nutritious foods throughout the day can help to keep blood sugar level and energy high. Like when we put high octane gasoline in our cars, high quality foods provide our bodies with optimal nutrition and energy. Healthy snacking also helps to keep us from getting too hungry. Have you ever noticed how a salad isn’t cutting it when you are extremely hungry? However, if you graze on small meals/snacks throughout the day you avoid getting to the point where you are ready to cram just anything into your mouth! When we are over hungry we are tempted to over eat and it also makes it harder to choose a healthy option.

The key is in choosing the right snack.

An ideal snack is low in calories & sugar, is free of trans or hydrogenated fats and includes complex carbohydrates, protein and healthy fat. Snacks can help us to meet the American Heart Association’s recommendation of eating 5-6 servings of fruits and 5-6 servings of vegetables each day. This can seem a little daunting but with a little planning it can be doable!

On the weekend cut up carrots and celery, peel oranges and divvy up grapes and almonds into snack size bags that you can grab each morning on the way out the door. Other options for quick healthy snacks include: • Water packed Albacore tuna salad on whole wheat crackers, which provides a good source of Omega-3 fatty acid • Edamame • Veggies and hummus • Fresh veggies and ranch dip (substitute plain Greek yogurt for the sour cream, to increase protein and add probiotics)

Healthy Eating Tips: Slow down Eat twice as often Eat half as much Chew twice as long

pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

Have you noticed that at children’s team sporting events the parents and coaches bring a snack after every practice and game for the players?

The options that are often provided make me cringe! I typically see sports drinks full of artificial colors and chemicals and sugary snacks offered and the kids inhale them! This is not what our little athletes need after vigorous exercise. It would be ideal if we could work together with other moms to take turns making healthy snacks for the team. Involving the kids in the prep can help too so they start to realize that what we put in our bodies matters and is directly linked to our physical and mental performance. Some healthier alternatives to try are listed below:

In a blender, puree 1 medium banana, 1 cup chopped kale, and 1 cup almond milk until smooth.

• Bananas & low fat string cheese • Sliced apples with natural peanut butter- there are individual to-go cups that can make this more manageable • Greek yogurt (choose organic, when possible)

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For hydration, water is the ideal beverage. However, if that is not suitable for the team choose 100% fruit juice. Be sure to check the ingredient label to make sure it does not include high fructose corn syrup.

Another time when snacking is ideal is when you get home from work.

Try offering a snack tray while you preparing dinner. Cut up cucumbers, cauliflower, peppers, etc. and serve with your favorite healthy dip. You wouldn’t believe how filling these foods can be. Kids are more willing to eat veggies when they are very hungry too so offering these before the meal allows them to fill up on the most nutritious foods before moving onto dinner. Or try this smoothie recipe to hold you over until dinner.

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When I am asked to attend a wedding, I never sit towards the front.

First, that should be for family and close friends and second, I like the view better from the back. It’s sort of like attending a sports event, the front seats may get you closer to the action, but further back you tend to see more and hear more. A lot more.

Just as soon as you get a group of guests start sitting together, you see heads moving around, looking to find something to talk about. Now, this is not a bad thing, but it did start me thinking about what most people are talking about when they attend a wedding. I know you’ve done it, so what did you talk about? Some people may not care, but I do. At my business, I worry about the first impressions of my clients when they first see my shop, my work and me! When you go to a restaurant, don’t you look around to see if it’s clean and organized, that the employees are neat and the food is delivered to your table in a reasonable amount of time?

Basically, a wedding should be organized, the venue clean, any staff presentable and should always start on time. One of my clients told me about her appointment at a venue that had not been cleaned up thoroughly from a wedding there three days before. The manager told her that it would be clean for their reception, but they had not had time to do so.

What? She said that when she went to the restroom there, it was clear that it had not been thoroughly cleaned in a long time. Bad impression, not only for any wedding, but for the venue as well.

Another client told me that a waiter was drunk at her reception and almost dropped a tray of food. When her dad talked to the manager, he said they had had trouble with him before. So why was he still there?

That is not acceptable regardless of the venue or how much you pay.

Even if a venue has a great reputation, check it out. Social media is one of many ways to do this. Unless they have an event that day, you should

be able to peek inside their kitchen. Look in the corners of the event room to see how clean they are and ALWAYS check out the restrooms.

Even if family members are serving the food, they should wear foodsafe gloves. Any one that comes in contact whether preparing or serving at a buffet table should do this. Any staff should be neat and clean from head to toe. Even though they are employed by someone else, they are representing you. I recently saw a waiter at a well-known restaurant with muddy shoes. If you have a question about anything-ask!

Guests tend to put their focus on even the tiniest details. Although some are more important than others, here are a few: • There were no water glasses on the tables.

• The tables were too close together.

• The flower arrangement was so tall that I couldn’t talk to the person across the table.

• Only one meat was offered.

• I couldn’t chew the Jordan almonds in the favor box, must have been stale. (Not kidding.)

• Only offered Pepsi; I drink Coke.

• Ran out of food on the buffet before I got through the line.

• The bride knows that I don’t like green beans. (Again, not kidding.)

• It’s too cold (hot) in here.

Here are some comments that I have heard about the wedding and its’ participants: • That one bridesmaid was “falling out” of her dress.

• None of the colors went together.

• All their tuxes were too big.

• They (wedding party) all took too long to get down the aisle.

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• Why did the wedding start 20 minutes late?

• It (wedding) was too long , I was getting hungry.

• The kids (ring bearer, flower girl) were all over the place, couldn’t stay still.

• The kids (guests) were talking and crying during the ceremony. I couldn’t heat anything.

• I didn’t get a chance to talk to the couple; they left too early.

• We waited almost an hour for the couple to get their pictures made before we could start eating. Some people had already left.

Now here are a few solutions: • Provide a nursery for the smaller children and babies.

• Make sure the participant’s clothing fit well and looks good.

• Makes sure you and the florist have a good relationship and understanding.

• Same as above with the caterer.

• Start on time with everything. Not the time to be a diva.

• Give the photographer a limited amount of time to get things done.

If you don’t think that is possible, • Serve hors d’oeuvres while they wait. It very rude to have guests wait a long time.

You always want your guests to have a good feeling when they leave your wedding. And you want to have a good feeling about it too.

Mackey S. Carpenter www.mscdesigns.net

Fun Stuff for Women & Girls of All Ages! www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 25

Front The

Porch

I see trees of green, red roses too I see them blue before me and you And I think to myself What a wonderful world I see skies of blue and clouds of white The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night And I think to myself What a wonderful world

by Judy Smith

Hallelujah, Spring has sprung! Sitting on my back porch, I see the beautiful Bradford Pear trees in full bloom, Easter Lilies in all their crowning glory and I know the Peonies are right behind. Those are three of the most beautiful signs of spring that God put on this earth and I ravish their beauty. Then, it seems, in just a moment, they are gone.

This could be depressing, that is, if I did not know there was even more beauty to follow.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky Or also on the faces of people going by I see friends shaking hands, saying "How do you do?"

They're really saying, I love you I hear babies crying, I watch them grow They'll learn much more and I'll never know And I think to myself What a wonderful world

Roses of all colors, blooming Dogwoods, Weeping Cherry trees…I could just go on and on. I love their beauty and their wonderful smells and I am reminded of the song “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. You remember this song don’t you?

Yes, I think to myself What a wonderful world Oh yea

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pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

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I can see the words and I can hear him singing it, can’t you. There are just some things that automatically put a smile on our face and that song and the other things I mentioned are triggers for me. Fortunately, I do not need a lot of “things” to make me smile. My cup runneth over more times than not. Why wouldn’t it? I live in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave and I am thankful.

Material things are not what make me happy and that is probably a great thing since I don’t have many of those things. I do have a house to live in, heat and air, a bed to lay my head down at night, food to eat… most of the necessities, most of the time. I am rich by a lot of the world standards and I am thankful.

Yet those are not the things that make my cup runneth over. Family does. My husband does. My grandkids do. I am thankful.

So who am I thankful to? song………….

I see skies of blue and clouds of white The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night And I said to myself, He’s got the whole world in His hands, He’s got the whole wide world in His hands Yep, we can sing that one too!

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Could quitting set you free?

What first came to mind when you read the title to this column? Were you a bit confused by the idea of quitting anything you may be trying to do? Is "quit" a four-letter word to you? Or did you think of a habit or an indulgence that you have been meaning to quit, yet haven’t gotten around to it? We all have habits or tendencies that we know we should curtail or quit doing. That is not what this column is about.

The type of quitting I am referring to relates to the way you may be thinking that is holding you back from where you could ultimately go.

Basically, I am talking about the thinking that causes us to get in our own way. How much of your thinking is distracting you from embracing opportunities or options? How much of your self-talk is keeping you bound in a state of undoing versus doing? How much of your thinking is mired in pretense and circumstances versus a sense of purpose and passion?

Consider if you need to quit any of these thinking traps to set yourself free: Quit Worrying: We cannot predict the future, but that doesn't mean we should allow our past to dictate how we potentially view it. Often, our tendency to worry is based from past experiences that didn't go exactly as planned. Therefore, we worry about repeating the same mistake. Instead, embrace the lesson and the fact that you are wiser as a result.

Quit Negating: Whether it is your level of confidence or because you are learning about something or considering doing something that has never been done before, don't allow your thinking to negate the possibility of your success or someone else's success. Open yourself up to what it could mean if successful. Open yourself up to the possibility of where it could lead. Put a positive spin on its ultimate outcome and see where it may take you in ideas and insights you may not have otherwise explored.

Quit Doubting: Whether it is doubting your ability, or the ability of others to follow through, you need to understand from the very core of the matter why the doubt exists in the first place. Different than negating, doubting is more personal and internal. When you feel doubt, you are telling yourself you are not capable of getting what you want. Instead, replace doubt with determination.

Quit Procrastinating: Putting things off is easy, yet why does it feel so guilt-ridden? Because we know better, and yet we delay "doing" anyway. Yes, sometimes the procrastination is easy because we know it isn’t going to be easy in the task that needs to be done. The real question is how much time are you spending thinking about the fact that you are procrastinating … that you really should just deal with it … that you really do need to move beyond it … and so on and so forth. See what I mean? Procrastination is an underlying distraction and detractor from moving forward.

Quit Assuming: Making assumptions can kill an idea, a relationship and potential faster than anything else. Whenever you react to anything, take a moment to pause and ask yourself what assumptions you may be making. The fact that you have an immediate reaction, especially one that is uncomfortable or negative is a sign that assumptions are being made. Seek to understand before taking a stand in your thinking. Ask clarifying questions. Gain insight to either affirm or dispel what you may be thinking.

pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

Quit Judging: Making a judgment oftentimes follows an assumption.

When you jump to conclusions without appropriate insight, you are closing yourself off from any potential that exists. Judgment also rears its ugly head based on past experiences, causing you to perceive someone or an outcome based on how you have been received in the past in a given situation. Are you stereotyping or unintentionally profiling? Or are you giving the proper benefit of the doubt in order to be more open?

Start Doing: Walt Disney said, "The way to get started is to quit talking, and start doing." Whether it is worrying, negating, procrastinating, doubting, assuming, or judging, what you are doing is allowing your self-talk and internal thinking to define your perspective and justify inaction.

Instead, have the courage and conviction to listen to your inner voice screaming to be heard. So often, we know what we are capable of doing once we shut off the noise in our heads. Too often, once we finally start doing, we think back wondering why we just didn’t start doing sooner. As you quit what is not serving you well, your soul will sing with satisfaction and delight, because you are fulfilling your own potential in the best and most productive of ways.

Bio: SherrĂŠ DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007.

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Did You Know?

REGGY GREENE

pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

Damage to a lawn may be indicative of various problems. Everything from insects to rodents to the family pet may be responsible for causing burnt patches, holes and other eyesores. Getting to the bottom of the problem is the first step in remediation.

Burning and discoloration of the lawn is often a result of high concentrations of dog urine pooling in one area. Diluting the urine by hosing down areas of the lawn can clear up many problems. Birds, raccoons, skunks, moles, and other rodents may feed on grubs that reside just under the thatch of the lawn, and animals may tear up lawns in search of this delicacy.

Treating the grub problem usually alleviates damage caused by animals. Mole crickets are another common lawn destroyer. These insects resemble crickets, but they burrow beneath the turf to feed on plant roots.

The mole crickets can push up channels of turf as they burrow, exposing roots to the elements and causing the grass to die. Getting rid of the insects canrevitalize the lawn.

StepintoSpring...

YOUR GUIDE TO OUTDOOR RECREATION

know the terrain before you start your workout. Speak with fellow outdoor enthusiasts about which trails or courses are best for someone of your skill level, and adhere to their recommendations. When exercising on a trail for the first time, bring a friend along so someone can go get help should an accident happen. · Stay hydrated. Dehydration is another way athletes can suffer an injury when exercising in the great outdoors.

Gyms have water fountains that allow members to take a drink of water when they’re thirsty. That water can help prevent dehydration, which can be both painful and greatly increase your risk of injury. When exercising outdoors, be sure to bring along enough water so you can stay hydrated regardless of how far away from civilization you may find yourself.

M

Whenanyexercising outdoors, stick to terrain thatinisthe great outdoors. people take advantage of nice weather by exercising Some might skip the treadmill at thelevel gym intofavor of running at the park, while avoid injury. commensurate with your skill others join recreational sports leagues for some exercise and fun in the sun.

How to prevent injury when exercising outdoors

· Honestly assess your abilities. When exercising outdoors, it’s easy to overdo it. Warm air and sunshine have a way of encouraging athletes to prolong their workout routines or push themselves a little harder. But pushing yourself past your limits can increase your risk of injury considerably.

While it’s easy to stay within your limits when exercising indoors, where the environment may encourage you to cut a workout short rather than extend it, it’s easy to overextend yourself outdoors when the weather is nice. So it’s important for men and women to make an honest assessment of their abilities before beginning an outdoor exercise regimen. Once you know what your body can and can’t handle, you can tailor an outdoor workout that makes the most of nice weather without putting your health at risk.

But exercising outdoors carries its share of risk. Unlike gyms where machinery clearly advises members about proper form and warns against lifting excessive weight, · Don’t challenge Mother Nature. One of the biggest risks with regard to exercisMother Nature comes with no such warning labels. As a result, it’s up to men and ing outdoors is the tendency some athletes have to ignore the elements. Avoid women to make injury prevention a priority when taking their exercise routine outside. working out in especially cold or hot weather, as such conditions are not conduThe following are a handful of preventative measures that can help exercise enthusicive to exercise. Extreme weather also reduces the number of people outside, people take advantage both painful and greatly asts avoidany injury as they attempt to get or stay of fit in the can great be outdoors. which means there won’t be as many people around to help you if you suffer an nice weather by exercising in increase your risk of injury. When injury, lose your way or need help with your gear. Exercising outdoors is a great the great · Study the terrain.

Partoutdoors. of the dangerSome of exercising outdoors is that, unlike a gym thatbe sureway enjoy nice weather, but limit such workouts to those times of year when exercising outdoors, to tobring might skipfor the atofthe gymnature in is unpredictable. is designed thetreadmill sole purpose exercise, Safety features along enough water so you temperatures can stay are most conducive to outdoor activity. you take granted at at the suchwhile as padded floors,hydrated are nonexistent outdoors. of In how far away favor of for running thegym, park, regardless addition,join certain areas might not be suitable to all athletes. example, mountain others recreational sports leagues Working out in the great outdoors is a great way to make the most of a beautiful fromFor civilization you may find yourself. biking is a popular sport, but fun not allinmountain biking trails are the same. Some trails for some exercise and the sun. day. But athletes must still take certain precautionary measures to reduce their Honestly your abilities. are ideal for beginners, while others are best ridden by •more seasonedassess riders. When risk of injury when exercising outdoors.

But exercising outdoors carries its When exercising outdoors, it’s easy to your outdoor exercise regimen will be taking you off the beaten path, be sure you

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share of risk. Unlike gyms where machinery clearly advises members about proper form and warns against lifting excessive weight, Mother Nature comes with no such warning labels. As a result, it’s up to men and women to make injury prevention a priority when taking their exercise routine outside.

The following are a handful of preventative measures that can help exercise enthusiasts avoid injury as they attempt to get or stay fit in the great outdoors.

way of encouraging athletes to City of Statesville’s aprolong their workout routines or push Fitness & Activity Center themselves a little harder. But pushing

overdo it. Warm air and sunshine have

yourself past your limits can increase your risk of injury considerably. While it’s easy to stay within your limits when exercising indoors, where the environment may encourage you to cut a workout short rather than extend it, it’s easy to overextend yourself outdoors when the weather is nice. So it’s important for men and women to make an honest assessment of their abilities before beginning an outdoor exercise regimen. Once you know what your body can and can’t handle, you can tailor an outdoor workout that makes the most of nice weather without putting your health at risk.

Fitness Center Group Fitness Classes Child Care Gymnasium Climbing Wall • Study the terrain. Part of the danger Statesville Leisure Pool of exercising outdoors is that, unlike a Tae Kwon for Do the sole Ballroom Dancing gym that is designed purpose of exercise, nature is Multi-Purpose Rooms Bicycle Rentals unpredictable. Safety features you Summer After take for grantedCamps at the gym, such as School Programs padded floors, are And nonexistent Much More!!! outdoors. In addition, certain areas No contracts!

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• Don’t challenge Mother Nature.

One of the biggest risks with regard to exercising outdoors is the tendency some athletes have to ignore the elements. Avoid working out in especially cold or hot weather, as such conditions are not conducive to

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31

Recipes for ife

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Food for the Body Crème Brulee (Adapted from an online Betty Crocker recipe: (http://bit.ly/1wJw8Me) 6 egg yolks 2 cups whipping cream 1/3 cup granulated sugar 1 tsp. almond extract Boiling water 9 tsp. brown sugar • Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

• Beat egg yolks with a mixer set on low speed. Using a wire whisk, stir whipping cream, granulated sugar, and almond extract in a separate bowl.

pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

• With mixer on low, gently stir the egg yolks and cream mixture together until evenly colored and fully blended; pour into 6 (4 oz.) ceramic ramekins.

• Put a 9x13 glass dish on the center oven rack and fill approximately 1/3 full with boiling water. Carefully place each ramekin into this dish, making certain water doesn’t splash into the ramekins. (Water should cover two-thirds of each ramekin’s height, so add more water if necessary.)

• Bake 20-25 minutes or until light golden brown. Sides should be set and the center should jiggle.

• Remove ramekins from 9x13 dish and cool to room temperature. Cover and refrigerate at least 4 hours.

• To serve: Preheat oven broiler. Gently blot any liquid from tops of chilled custards with a paper napkin and sprinkle 1-1 ½ tsp. brown sugar on each custard. Place ramekins on top oven rack, browning until sugar just melts. Enjoy!

A Prayer for God’s Blessing Loving Father, You are almighty and powerful—the One who makes me new. I confess I often yield to sinful desires rather than walking in newness of life.

Thank You for diligently working in me and conforming me to Your Son’s image. Please help me grasp this newness of life You’ve secured for me in Christ. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Food for the Soul I prepared this dessert just for you. Well, sort of. Crème Brulee is my absolute favorite, but I’d never actually made it. So I researched a

few recipes, implemented some changes, and happily ended up with six crème brulees in my refrigerator. Yet I must confess: I couldn’t wait until after dinner to sample mine, so it became a late-afternoon treat. Oh my, what delicious creaminess! Trying this new recipe in order to share it with you resulted in culinary success.

NEW. Don’t we all appreciate newness? Life in Christ is like that— let’s read what God says about it: “Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, in order that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.” Romans 6:4, NASB Now, maybe you’re a Christian but life doesn’t feel very new. Perhaps you’re stuck in sin or weary with life’s rigors … discouraged. Lacking passion and purpose, you’re trying just to get through today. But take heart, for God is making you new.

“And have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him.”

Colossians 3:10 God isn’t taking who we were and fixing it up. At the moment of salvation, He ended our state of corruption and initiated a new beginning.

Though I struggle with sins like selfishness and jealousy, God is making me new. Despite my frequent missteps, He is making me new. God works in us, saving and sanctifying us.

Then again, maybe you’re thinking, “Yeah … that religious thing works for others, but it really doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t need God or Jesus—I’m making it fine on my own.” Or, you might be contemplating, “I’ve sinned too much. Even Jesus can’t forgive me for what I’ve done.

There’s no hope for me.”

Whoever receives one child in My name, receives Me.

-Matthew 18:5

Learn More At Our Information Meeting At The Sherrills Ford Library on June 8 Starting at 6pm. fostercatawba.com 828-695-4553

Attend one of our meetings about foster and adoption opportunities in Catawba County, 6 p.m. the second Tuesday of each month at the Family Services Center, 3050 11th Ave. Dr. SE, Hickory, N.C.

Friend, we all need Jesus. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). Whether we feel like trusting Him as Savior or not, it’s vital. As for our number of sins disqualifying us from being saved, that’s blatantly untrue. Salvation isn’t based on us at all—it’s completely founded on the Person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ. We simply need to place our faith in who Christ is and what He’s accomplished (see Rom. 10:9).

This month we celebrate Easter, a special commemoration of Jesus Christ’s resurrection. He lived. He died. He rose again. Incredible! God gave us His Son so we can enjoy newness of life in Him, which involves the power of God working in us.

In Christ, we’re new. In Christ, we gain newness of life. NEW! May these truths fill us with joy this Easter season and always.

Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life…

Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference.

Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog.

Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33

J.E. Broyhill Civic Center’s

Showcase of Stars 2 0 1 4 - 2 0 1 5

S E A S O N

Dr. Ralph Stanley

Sat., Sept. 20, 2014 • 7:30 pm

The Hit Men

Sat., Oct. 18, 2014 • 7:30 pm

Mark Schultz and Selah

Caldwell Traditional Musicians Showcase Sat., Mar. 28, 2015 • 7:30 pm

Sarah Jarosz

Sat., Apr. 4, 2015 • 7:30 pm

Sat., Nov. 1, 2014 • 7:30 pm

Rapunzel

FPA’s Beautiful Star: An Applachian Nativity

Jim Breuer

Thurs. - Sat., Dec. 4 - 6, 2014 • 7:30 pm Sun., Dec. 7, 2014 • 3:00 pm

David Holt and the Lightning Bolts Thurs., Jan. 22, 2015 • 7:30 pm

Elliot Engel presents “The Vanderbilts: All of Them” Tues., Feb. 24, 2015 • 7:30 pm

Tues., Apr. 21, 2015 • 6:30 pm

Sat., May 9, 2015 • 7:30 pm

Events subject to change without notice.

JE Broyhill Civic Center 1913 Hickory Blvd., Lenoir, NC Box Office 828.726.2407, M-F, 10 am - 4 pm www.broyhillcenter.com

Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Angie Laney

Submitted by Christine Summers

Submitted by Pyner Photography

Submitted by Lutz Photography

Submitted by

Submitted by Mandy Yang Photography

Submitted by Melissa Cockman Photography

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35

Times are Changing!

Many times, when these items are added to a home or incorporated in a new construction, the property value is increased. As the baby boomers are aging, there is more demand for accessible living DOWNSIZING AND MOVING Sometimes a property can get to be too much upkeep. I have friends in their 50s who have moved to independent living apartments because they were tired of taking care of a large house, yard, and pool. Their lives are so much more fun now that they don’t spend their weekends being slaves to their house. They are traveling and experiencing all that life has to offer. If you are considering downsizing in the future, these are some tips that might help .

How to transition to a new living space or change the one you’re in.

by Susan Guest, ASID

From the time we are born, we are in transition! Our bodies never stay the same-new cells are produced as old ones die, hair and fingernails grow. Everything gets larger, smaller or closer to the ground as we age!

The world around is also constantly changing. New trends and technology have made most of us adapt to our fast-changing surroundings.

Many of us escape the busy world in our home or apartment-our home is our castle! But, sometimes we need to make changes in our environment-whether temporarily or permanently.

TEMPORARY TRANSITION

A couple of years ago, I was dancing (the Gangham Style) at a conference in Charleston. Something in my knee ruptured and before I knew it, my entire life changed in an instant. After surgery, I was either in a wheel chair or on crutches for 2 months. Thus, we had to make a few temporary changes to the house. If you are ever in a short term situation, these tips might help: • Rearrange furniture to accommadate a wheelchair and crutches or other special needs.

• Create a station by the bed that has drawers and casters to-hold laptop, makeup, hair dryer, phone, note pad, books, etc.

• Bathroom-non slip rugs, add a shower seat, add a handheld sprayer for shower.

PERMANENT TRANSITION Sometimes things happen in life to people of all ages where they have to make permanent changes to their environment. I have worked with several clients who have permanent health issues such as diabetes, Parkinsons, amputations, etc. and they want to stay in their home. These are some ideas to consider in a long-term situation: • Elevators or chair lifts on the stairs • Non-slip surfaces for flooring.

• Roll in showers • Countertop heights-lower and open underneath • Turn around radiuses for wheel chairs • Ramps to go up stairs-inside and out • Hand rails in baths and other areas • Lighting changed for safety • Addition to the property if the old space cannot be adapted to the situation

pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

• Take this opportunity to get rid of things you don’t love! That orange sofa from 1963 might need to go!

• You will be amazed how much better you feel if you pick your favorite things to take with you and get rid of the rest.

• Go through your things while you can and give to your family members or friends who will appreciate them • Put items in consignment shops , sell on ebay, or auction houses( for really fine items)-you might earn enough money to take a fun day trip or vacation!

• Do a little bit of tossing each week. Set aside a certain amount of time each day or week so it is not too overwhelming • If you are attached to too many memories, take pictures and make an album.

• You might take this opportunity to sell most or all of your current things and starting completely over with a new chapter in your life!

• If you need to move to a very small apartment, find furniture that has more than one function. For example, a sofa sleeper or a drop leaf table that can be used for dining and an entry way can be used for different needs.

STAGING YOUR HOME TO SELL If you want to sell your home, make it more appealing to potential buyers. Take your personality out of the space so that they can visualize their things there. If possible, only have enough items in each room to show the function. Here are some other tips that might help: • Paint the walls a neutral color • Remove rugs and large furniture to make your space appear larger • Clean and organize closets and make them appear to have more storage • Let more light in-remove sheers and heavy window treatments if possible • Take all personal pictures down and box away things that clutter shelves and tables • Add curb -appeal outdoors-paint your front door a fun color and make sure your exterior and interior are pristine. Pots with seasonal flowers are nice additions.

Life is always changing. Sometimes even bad situations have great things that come from them. If we embrace the change, it can be an exciting new adventure in life!

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

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Submitted by Amanda Goode Photography

Submitted by Photography By Angel

Submitted by Libbie Lowman Photography

Submitted by Sarah Hamby Submitted by JW Photography

Submitted by Charlene Long Photography

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37

pg 38 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

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Take Time to Notice the Blooms in Your Life

by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC

Ask about Scout Camp-ins at Catawba Science Center.

On the SALT Block • 243 Third Ave. NE Hickory • (828) 322-8169 www.CatawbaScience.org

pg 40 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

Recently, while visiting our daughter overseas, my husband and I decided to explore a large city park, noted for its grandeur and beauty.

As we turned a corner, we began to see this magnificent green space from a distance. There were rows of trees lining grassy squares with fountains and statues everywhere. Even though everything was so beautiful, I was a bit sad that we were here in the middle of winter when trees are bare and nothing but the grass is green. Still, I could marvel at the layout, take a rest from a long walk and enjoy the setting.

Sitting on a bench beneath one of the trees, I glanced upward. There, right above my head were hundreds of buds delicately adorning gray branches. From a distance, these pink, fuzzy pods were completely hidden.

But, here beneath the canopy, they seemed to be boldly proclaiming their presence. In a few weeks, all of these trees would be completely covered with flowers and bright green leaves. Even though I would be long gone before the blooms would fully emerge, I began to feel grateful instead of sad. I had the chance to sit in this beautiful place and imagine the splendor that would soon be on full display.

We often cannot see the tender little blooms that are beginning to sprout in our own lives. In the midst of the winter seasons of our life, when we are just trying to survive one more day, it is easy to forget that God is actually cultivating something in us. We might even be convinced that nothing good is being formed within us. But, in John 15, Jesus says that God is the gardener, He is the vine and we are the branches. He promises that if we remain connected to Him, we will, indeed, bear much fruit. This means that Spring will always come in the life of the believer who is clinging to God. Even if we can't see any new growth, we can know that the Gardener is busy tilling, planting, watering and pruning us so that something beautiful and lasting will flourish from us for His delight, for His glory.

Now that spring has sprung, perhaps it is time to stop and acknowledge the buds that are beginning to appear in your life. This act of looking for the evidence of fruit in your life may at first seem rather self-seeking and completely unnecessary. But, consider this. When I delighted in hidden buds on seemingly barren branches in the park that day, I was not glorifying the tree. The tree was merely showcasing the handiwork of God. Instead, by noticing, appreciating and imagining what the trees in the park will look like when they are in full bloom, I was able to bring glory to the One who designed the tree in the first place. Similarly, when we stop for just a minute and look for buds that the Master Gardener has cultivated and sustained in our lives, He is the one we honor and praise.

For we know, that without His hand, His guidance, there would be no lasting fruit at all.

So, in your role as a daughter, a wife, a mother or a friend, what do you see sprouting? What has begun to flow out of you, what has surprised you? Bits of patience, kindness, peace, wisdom or goodness? Even though they many not be fully mature, their presence came from seeds planted by the Master. Even though you get to bear these fruits and bless others with them, He is the One who planted them and cared for them.

All for His good pleasure. (Philippians 4:13) Our great and glorious God delights in seeing fruit produced in the lives of His children. And, He loves it when we take note of what He is doing. “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:1,4-5

Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor.

For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 41

Prom Perfect

Make-UpTips

P

rom is a milestone event for many teenagers. Months are spent in preparation for the night of dancing, dinner and reminiscing with classmates and friends.

If you can’t decide between eyes and mouth, find another feature to focus on. If you’re known for your angular cheekbones, accent them with the right blusher.

Guys and girls alike agonize over every decision, from what to wear to whom to take as a date. With so many choices to make, ladies may not give as much thought to their makeup as they do to their gowns or hair styles. But makeup is an important consideration for young ladies on prom night.

Choose colors that complement you

The following are a few makeup tips for young ladies who want to shine come prom night.

Focus on one area Many makeup artists prefer to create one area of focus, such as the lips or the eyes, on the face. Someone going with bold eye colors should leave their lips relatively bland, and vice versa.

Those who desire a smokey, lined eye should choose a muted lip shade, while a nude or shimmery shadow will complement bold, red lips. Figure out what makes you feel fabulous and play to that strength.

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pg 42 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

It can be tempting to match makeup to the dress you’re wearing.

While that approach can work for some women, it is not always the right fit for everyone. It’s much better to coordinate makeup based on your skin tone, hair color and eye color.

If there is a particular color palette that brightens up your face and makes your eyes pop, continue to use that for prom makeup and simply enhance it for extra drama.

Make makeup last through the night Prom makeup should endure through the entire evening. The weather may be warm and you may spend a good deal of the night dancing, so choose formulas with staying power. Help products along with some key application tips. Wash and dry your face and

treat accordingly for your type of skin. If your skin produces a lot of oil, you may need to swipe your face with astringent. Moisturize dry skin so makeup will not flake off later in the night.

Foundation primers can help makeup stick to the skin better.

Translucent blotting powder can help lock in foundation and provide an adherent surface for lipstick and eye shadow. If you’re choosing a bold lip look, select a product that is long-lasting and bring along your lipstick for touch-ups.

Be photo-ready Makeup that looks good in person may not work as well for the camera. If great prom photos are your goal, consider matte finishes on makeup and skip high-shine powders. Some makeup retailers sell high-definition powders and products. While these certainly may enhance a look under HD cameras and are geared primarily for those on video, they may look chalky or ghostly under certain camera lights.

Do a trial run of your makeup and have someone photograph you to determine how photos will turn out, tweaking your look as necessary.

Don’t fret a blemish or two Nerves and stress can contribute to breakouts. A blemished face is not something you want on prom night, but it’s not the end of the world, either. Use a concealer brush to dot concealer on the pimple and fan out to blend it into the surrounding skin. Pat finishing powder on the area to lock it all in. Avoid touching the area, which can negate the effects of the powder.

If makeup is not your forte, consider working with a makeup artist or speaking with sales personnel at the makeup counter of your favorite department store for additional tips.

Remember, one of the best prom looks is a winning smile. That’s easily achieved when having fun. Although your look may be important, the goal of prom is to have a good time and create memories that will last a lifetime.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 43

You Don’t Get a Hall Pass on This One

by Cyndi Caldwell

Home Care by Seniors for Seniors There’s a huge difference in the kind of home care you can receive from someone who really understands what There’s difference your lifeaishuge like as a senior. in The the kind of home care concerns you have.

Theyou need for can receive fromSomeone someonewho independence. who really understands like you, has a little livingwhat under his your is like as a senior. The or herlife belt. concerns you have. The need for Our loving, caring, compassionate seniors are independence.

Someone who thereyou, to help. allunder the services you need to stay in your like has a We littleoffer living his own or herhome, belt. living independently. t Companion Care Yard Work Our loving, caring, compassionate tseniors are t Housekeeping Services t there to help. We offer all the servicesHandyman you need Services to stay in your t Meal preparation/cooking own home, living independently. t and more t Personal Care t Companion Care t Overnight and 24-hour Care t Yard Work t Housekeeping t Handyman Services t Transportation Services t Meal preparation/cooking t and more t Shopping t Personal Care t Doctor Appointments t Overnight and 24-hour Care t Transportation Call us today. Like getting a little help from your friends . t ShoppingYour personalized information here t Doctor Appointments ©2010 Each office is independently owned and operated.

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pg 44 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2015

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Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV) Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; [7] and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I love this passage. It has even more meaning for me since I recently lost my Father. As a Certified Senior Advisor* I have worked with many families going through the process of aging parents. Each situation is unique in its circumstances but inherently the same. In almost every situation the family has to face challenges that test them. Physical adjustments, changes in living arrangement, choices in caregivers, financial considerations, all will put a family to the test. One family pulled together – found strength, dug deep for patience, searched for answers. Another seemed to unravel at the seams, never quite finding the peace that could sustain them.

Somehow I thought with all my training and the fact that I had faced these challenges working with others that it would be different for me. I was going to have prospective and insight. The truth is that when I was there in the moment – all the training in the world wasn’t able to prepare me for the sense of loss, grief, and ultimately the sense of relief that I would experience.

Losing a parent is supposed to be the natural order of things. We are born, we live a life, we grow old and then we die. No one gets a hall pass on this one. It doesn’t matter your status in life, or how many friends you had, or the balance in your bank account. Death is very even handed that way. When it’s your time – it’s your time.

Unfortunately the same can’t be said for those that are left behind.

While many of us believe that at death our loved ones experience a release and a rebirth –, those left behind still must manage the loss here on earth. What will help the ones who are left behind- find “the peace that surpasses all understanding?”

Even though it has only been weeks since I lost my Dad I’ve come to some important revelations regarding his old age and his death.

Revelation Number 1 – My Dad became old. I say old because there is a difference between being older and being old. As an older adult both my parents were vibrant and outgoing. It wasn’t until they became old that I was faced with their mortality. It actually happened quickly – there was a shift, a change and I felt it. I know for a fact that my Dad would say that he felt the shift as well. He told me so.

Revelation Number 2 – My sister and I became the decision makers.

My Father was no longer independent. This dramatic change effected our entire family. Decisions had to be made and they could not be made by my Dad – even though he wanted to. In fact he fought ferociously to hold on to his independence- it would not be possible. Understanding this shift in our dynamic was critical.

Revelation Number 3 –I was now grieving. It’s important to understand this. This sense of loss is a process. Each adjustment must be dealt with and considered. Selling the house and divesting of possessions is loss.

Seeking new living arrangements and making those decisions is stressful.

Hearing difficult medical news causes anxiety. You are grieving.

Revelation Number 4 –I will not be able to fix this. While doctor visits often mean that there is a agenda to “get better” - this is not the case here.

The body may be shutting down incrementally. My Father was no longer the protector and the provider. We had always known him to be a strong presence and watching him weaken was hard. Becoming the parent of your parent is also hard. There is no school that prepares you for doing basic hygiene for your Father, brushing his teeth, doing his pedicure, dressing him head to toe – or even managing toileting issues.

Revelation Number 5 – My sister and I were exhausted. We were exhausted mentally and physically. Making decisions, talking to doctors, managing finances, handling visits with my Father, making sure he had what he needed, even sitting by the bedside was exhausting.

Revelation Number 6 – Quality of life means everything. Knowing that my Dad was struggling to breathe, to move, to sleep, to eat was painful for him and for us. . I wanted him to have peace. Could we have gone on? Yes – we would have been by his side as long as he needed us – but quality of life is everything.

Revelation Number 7 – Peace does surpass our understanding. I can’t explain it but when my Father left this world – I knew that he was at peace. I could feel it. I also felt finally at peace. I knew he was safe, healthy, and in the company of those he loved.

A friend once told me that when we remember our loved ones it’s important to look at a life story as a whole and not just the last few pages of the book. A life such as my Dad’s 93 plus years was exciting and joyful. In fact – each chapter was more compelling than the next - it was it a real page turner! So – no regrets.

The last two years of my Dad’s life were challenging – but I treasure every moment I got to spend with him. I loved my Dad intensely while he was here and I told him so. “ I’ll miss you Dad – but I’ll see you soon.”

About The Author As a CERTIFIED SENIOR ADVISOR* Cyndi is on a mission to advise Seniors and their family members on viable options in Senior Care and Dementia Care.

She is an accomplished writer and public speaker - focused on educating the community on senior services and Alzheimer’s disease. Currently Cyndi is a Certified Senior Advisor* with Seniors Helping Seniors –a service providing care FOR seniors BY SENIORS – so that families can stay in their homes and age in place.

Greer - Mcelveen Funeral HoMe & creMatory 725 Wilkesboro blvd, lenoir, nC 28645 • (828) 754-4521 • greer-mcelveenfuneralhome.com

“We are honored to have served Caldwell County, as well as surrounding counties for the past 30 years. We owe our success to our loyal families. We will continue to demonstrate the utmost professionalism and support to all our families during their time of need. Our experienced staff provides quality and personalized funeral, cremation and advanced planning services to honor the life of your loved one. We sincerely thank you for your continued trust and look forward to the next 30 years.” ~ Jim & Tony McElveen ~

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 45

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pg 46 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April2015 March 2015

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