soteria soteriamag.co.uk
Lifestyle Worth Living
Your Guide To Picking Up The Pieces
Freely Given
March ‘09
Do you like our front cover? I guess many people will have different feelings about it - even the people in the editorial team have different opinions about it. The image is certainly striking and you see many things in the picture. Is she singing or screaming, is it a fleeting glance or can she not turn away? I’m not sure what the original artist’s intention was, Stephanie Shimerdla’s the only one who truly knows what it was meant to be. It’s rather like when people look at us, what do they see? We all put our own interpretation on the people we see, we even do it to ourselves, we don’t necessarily see what the creator wanted us to see. This issue is all about self-image and self-worth. We ask what is God’s view of us? We know that life isn’t always dealt with in simplistic terms, we have to battle with our issues. If you’re in that place you’ll find our “Shattered” article of interest. We’ve also got 4 pages (including one for parents) about dealing with some of the issues that poor self-image can lead to. There are also some helpful phone numbers and web sites included. Along with all this there are reviews and not one, but 2 great competitions for you to enter! Also make sure you’ve got your free subscription to Soteria by heading to the website or sending us your details. Find out more on page 11. I hope you find the magazine helpful! Front cover image “Shattered” ©Stephanie Shimerdla. See more of her art at www.rainne.com. Used by permission. All articles contained in this magazine are ©2009 Soteria Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
Soteria is an independent Christian Youth Lifestyle magazine with two aims. If you are a Christian we want to help you understand the Bible by offering practical everyday Bible guided advice. If you haven’t made a decision about Jesus, we want you to see what being a Christian is all about!
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At the start of 2009 we encouraged you to make a new start in life, a new resolve about how you could make your life better this year. However according to various notable scientists we’ve just been through the most depressing time of the year. We’ve had to pay the bills left over from Christmas, there’s very little daylight, its cold, and if you live in the same part of the world as the Soteria team most of the time it’s raining! Yet through all this the cheery Christians keep on telling us to praise God. I know, sometimes it’s infuriating! Well even the Christian life is not without its depressing moments, life can be a hard slog for most of us and no-one said that would get any easier as a Christian. It does mean that now you have the company of Jesus to help you get through these difficult times, to keep you inspired, and remind you that no matter what happens you always have someone to run back to. At the time we now famously refer to as the “Last Supper” Jesus told the disciples that when He leaves and returns to His Father, He’d send another ‘comforter’ to us; and yet Jesus’ final words to His followers before leaving them was that no matter what happened, He would always be with them. The promised comforter finally came at the Jewish festival of Shauvot (the time we now celebrate Pentecost) when the Holy Spirit arrived. He (the Holy Spirit) gave the disciples direct spiritual access to God Himself. This is what being a Christian really is. With all that in mind then, we don’t want to come across as annoying, cheery Christians. We’d rather simply offer some down-to-earth advice and a few pointers on how we can keep going through these days. Here we go then for down-to-earth, heaven-inspired advice and commentary on the holistic you...
and now for something completely different...
The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.)
Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark because Noah built the ark, which the animals came to in pears. Samson slew the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to find the ten commendments. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. Jesus was born because Mary had an Immaculate Contraption. The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibles.
Have you ever looked at a work of art and seen something in it that no-one else saw? Have you listened to music that was a din to everyone else but you heard a symphony? Have you ever believed in someone’s ability even when everyone else around doubted it? God does not see your life as a collection of problems or society’s mistakes. God’s viewpoint is entirely different and if you can get some understanding of what that truly is it will change your life, your thinking, your relationships, everything! A Question Of Perspective It’s relatively easy to try to understand the world, yourself and your place in the world from your own perspective. Seeing your life from another point of understanding is a very tricky business. But God does not see you the way you do, He doesn’t see the world the way you do, God has a much bigger picture of the whole thing. To understand anything about God, His book and how He sees you will require you to do some pretty extreme outside-the-box thinking. I was once in a Bible study group where one of the members just couldn’t get their head around a particular point, despite the fact that this is one of the smartest people I know. After listening to the discussion back and forth a few dozen times I twigged where this person was coming from. For all the street-smarts and book-knowledge of how everything goes the point about the holiness of God was unfathomable because they were using their own understanding of life to measure what the Bible said. In order to understand the given point the thinking needed to be turned upside-down; they needed to stop judging the Bible by what they knew and start judging their life by the absolute teachings in the Bible. So the first thing here in understanding how God sees us is to let go of our own
view of things. We need to be humble and teachable, and start taking what the Bible says about things as a given. If you can look at the scriptures from this perspective the rest will fall in place quite well. But the problems... Problems always seem bigger when they’re personal, when it happens to you, you’ll take more notice. All too often the problems of life stop us from understanding God’s perspective. We find it hard to relate what the Bible/teacher/ preacher is saying to our own lives. For the rest of this article and indeed in a Christian teaching scenario we must shake off those problems to try to see God’s perspective. Try to put aside your problems for a while, just don’t think about them and let’s learn a whole new perspective on our lives. Lost in the big picture When we think about God it all seems very big and way-out stuff. “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth”, that’s huge! How can we as mere people understand that? But also, isn’t it easy to say that if God is so big and so vast and we keep Him placed in that mind-set then He can’t be concerned about me and my problems and my life.
Whoa! Step back there a little. We’ve let life and all its problems creep back in there. Don’t let this happen with your thoughts; at this point don’t give your problems thinking space, just sit back and realise the amazing glory of who God really is, He did all that! God made personal God made all things, the Bible teaches, including you and me. If He made us and is so detailed with His creation that even the fingerprint of every person is totally unique you may ask why would He care about me and my problems? After God finished making everything He placed the man and woman in the Garden of Eden to tend it. God often liked to walk in the garden at the cool of the evening and would walk along with the man and talk. Isn’t that mindblowing! Yet do you know that God’s intention for mankind still hasn’t changed; He wants to be in that sort of close companionship with all the people He’s made. The trouble is that now sin, apathy and wrong-doing separate us from God. This is how God understands you; He sent a rescue mission in form of Jesus! Jesus, the Son of God, gave up His life to save you from sin. You can’t grasp that in the slightest without realising that God cares about you, sees huge potential in you, and sees you as someone worth saving. But I’m a failure It doesn’t matter if you think you deserve it or not, if you believe you’ve earned special treatment in life, or just think of yourself as a complete failure. This is what Jesus did for you, this is how God sees and understands you. It might take the rest of your life to fully relate this to all the problems, but realise this, God’s true perspective on you, and why Jesus died for you is not because you’re worth it or because you deserve it, He did all this because He loves you. So now, if you accept Him, He has made you one of His children. You are, in God’s sight, forgiven of all sins and an heir of heaven itself!
Reviews Coming Soon 7-49 Up • Publisher: Network DVD • Price: £48.99 Perhaps you’ve never heard of this programme? 7-Up was originally broadcast in 1963, when most of us weren’t even thought about, let alone born. This ground breaking documentary interviewed a set of 14 children at the age of 7 about their understanding of class, colour and life. Originally it was meant to be just one programme. However they have reinterviewed the same people every 7 years. This boxed set gathers all the interviews from 7 - 49 and it is really interesting to see how each child has ended up. Did they fulfill their dreams, how have their views changed in the intervening years. This is interesting as a piece of history looking at the different fashions and sociology to see how the views have changed within this group which is a good cross section and reflects attitude changes in society.
Race Pro • Publisher: Atari Price: £44.99 Publisher Atari and developers SimBin have taken a bit of a gamble with this release. This is a much more hard-styled simulation racer than console gamers are used to which will undoubtedly leave many players cold. There’s no doubting that there’s a good little sim engine underneath this game the trouble is there is no gloss added on top. The graphics are sparse and the game totally lacks atmosphere. This can be summed up when you win a race and a deadpan engineer comes over the radio saying “you won the race.” No emotion or passion and that’s what makes racing great. Even the stoic Michael Schumacher used to jump around on the top step. Unfortunately this game is technically right, but actually very wrong!
Reviews are added to our web site a number of times per week. Check soteriamag.co.uk for the latest!
Hold onto your lasagne! Everyone’s favourite morning-loathing, Odietaunting, tart-tongued tabby is back for a slew of hilarious new antics in Garfield’s Fun Fest, his newest full-length computer animated feature film. Garfield, Odie, Jon, Arlene and the rest of the gang – yes, Nermal, too – are gearing up for the town’s annual talent show, Fun Fest. Having previously won every year, Garfield is convinced he can’t lose with his routine, especially with his long-time sidekick (and girlfriend) Arlene in tow. But when Arlene wants to change the act and Garfield refuses, Arlene steps out with the super-suave new cat in town, Ramon, for a show stopping Tango. To help Garfield celebrate his 30th anniversary we have 5 copies of this DVD to give-away thanks to Freemantle Media Enterprises. The DVD is out on the 6th April with an RRP of £12.99 To enter this competition head to our website armed with the answer to this question.
What is the name of Garfield’s creator?
Both competitions close on 4th May at 11:59pm. Full Terms & Conditions online. Postal entries to our ‘nermal’ address, only one entry per household. Authentic Media, publishers of the Youth Bible, have a new series of Youth Bible Study Guides which will be available in all good Christian bookshops shortly. Authentic have kindly given us 3 copies of their study on Image and Self-Esteem for a competition. The Youth Bible Study Guides also includes studies on ‘Sexuality’, ‘Following God’ and ‘Peer Pressure’ each costs just £4.99. This booklet focuses on acceptance and identity. Taking a look into the Bible to see how to apply it to these areas of our lives. But what good is a Bible study guide without a Bible to study? Well Authentic thought of that too and have also provided a hard backed copy of the Youth Bible for each of the winners! Worth £16.99 in the shops this Bible features the full New Century Version text as well as many interesting facts, stories and explanations that help bring the Bible to life. To be in with your chance of winning this great prize, you need to answer this question by post or on our website...
Chip Kendall (the co-compiler of this book) is better known as Chip K, the lead singer of which Christian band?
For many of us self-image isn’t just about what we see in the mirror. Although what we see reflected back at us may play a large part in how we see ourselves. How we see ourselves as people, and in particular our own self-worth, is made up from many different factors.
•How we perform academically. •How good we are at practical tasks. •Our athletic prowess. •Perceived attractiveness. •Comparative attractiveness •Our peers opinions of us. •Our financial situation, •Parents expectations of us. •Expectations for our future. •Keeping up with our peers.
With all that going on is it any wonder that we get a little bit stressed out? This is just the generalised tip of the iceberg, most of us have many more things going on than this list. The mirror in the bathroom shows us our true physical image, it shows everything, blemishes and all. When we consider our whole self we metaphorically look into a mirror, only this one is shattered with each of those things that weigh upon us. The trouble with a shattered mirror is that the reflection you end up with isn’t true to reality! We have a distorted picture and normally it’s not distorted in our favour. The thing with all of this is that there are some of these that we can do nothing to change. The unchangables include; Jumping through the educational hoops of lessons, lectures, exams and coursework and of course we want to do the best that we can. Our general practical ability is fairly set, although it can be helped by knowledge and practice. But if you’re all fingers and thumbs like me then you will probably stay that way, sorry. Perceived attractiveness, how you see your physical looks. Loads of people have things about themselves that they despise and I’m
sure that you are no different. Parents expectations will always appear to be an insurmountable object. Keeping up with our peers is virtually impossible. So these things may well be unchangeable, how do we mend these cracks in the mirror? Mostly it’s a matter of mindset. Lots of these issues can affect our mental health, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that many of these issues can be conquered effectively by turning on the mental charm! Schools in the UK tend to be hugely geared towards academic achievement, but maybe academia isn’t your thing? Exams freak you out and it doesn’t matter how much Shakespeare you read you still find it and as interesting as watching paint dry! Do your best then no matter what the results are you’ll know that you did your best and achieved all you could. That’s a positive. It’s often the case that those who are heavily academic can often lack something in practical ability. People have different attributes some people can’t wait to get their hands covered in engine oil whilst the very thought of it repulses other people! If you can be good practically then you will always have people seeking out your skills, you may need to train them. That’s a positive. Perceived attractiveness is all in the mind (hence the perceived bit!) We may see things that we don’t like, but don’t focus on them. Some things can be treated, if you have the money to do so, that’s your choice. What about concentrating on your good attributes? This isn’t necessarily a physical thing, beauty is only skin deep, real beauty however is also about personality. Then on top of all the other clichés I have already used, it’s important to remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, what someone else see’s in you may not be the same as your self criticism.
The expectations of our parents are something we should all hold in high regard, but not to the exclusion of all else. We should respect them because they are our parents and they want the best for us. Have you ever sat down and talked to your parents about your hopes and dreams. Do they still believe you want to be the astronaut that you wanted to be at 7 years old? Perhaps their expectations of you have changed too? Overriding all of the expectations should be the fact that, no matter what you choose to do with your life, they love you just the same. Your friend is slightly older than you and just passed his driving test, his parents bought him a fantastic car. Your test is coming up soon, but there is no chance that even if you pass you will be able to afford more than a clapped out old banger. It can be hard to keep up with our peers, so the best thing is to adjust our way of thinking. If someone is deliberately flaunting what they’ve got are they really your friends in the first place? If they are then why not be happy for them? Our society is very materialistic, you are valued for what you have and what you don’t have. To misquote Martin Luther King Jr people should be valued on the content of their character, not the amount of stuff they own! Your personality is important, choose to develop that and you won’t go far wrong! Many of the things on the list are changeable, although it may not be easy! We can train to be more athletic and eat healthier. It’s easy to stop comparing ourselves to those we see in Hollywood and on TV. These people are not representative, but if you can’t help it, simply don’t watch TV. It’s harsh but do-able! Our peers opinions of us can be changed by us becoming more loving towards each other. Not in a soppy sentimental way but simply work hard on your relationships. Our financial situation is changed by choosing to work and do the best we can. Finally only we can set our expectations for our future, don’t let them become imposed on you by the media, peers or parents.
“Humans spend lots of energy doing. We even define our friends by what they do instead of who they are... Production is the marrow of our mentalities. But humans also need to spend time being.” -Christian George
We need to let God into every aspect of our lives and that includes these issues. Getting a Biblical outlook on the difficulties that we face in life is important.
Poor self-image can lead to depression, thoughts of suicide and other methods of trying to cope or escape. Christians suffer from these too, none of us are perfect and it can only take a moment of bad judgement or frustration to lead us down the wrong path. If you feel you are in this position or you have a friend who is then please see pages 12-15 for more advice.
“The Lord will keep you from all harm-He will watch over your life.” Psalm 121 v 7 “But to all who did accept Him and believe in Him he gave the right to become the children of God” John 1 v 12 “You were bought by God for a price. So honour God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6 v 20
“If God is with us, no one can defeat us.” Romans 8 v 31 “Nothing...will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8 v 38 39 “God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1 v 7
The Sweet Smell of Success?
3 Puzzles for the price of 1! 1. Can you match the celebrity to their respective fragrance? 2. Both the celebrity names and the fragrance names are hidden in our wordsearch. 3. If you find all the celebs and fragrances you will be left with a Bible verse. Can you find where it comes from?
ALEX BELIEVE COUTURE ENCHANTING INSPIRE INTIMATELY JUST ME LAMB LIVE LOVELY LUCIOUS PINK NIGHTLIFE OUTRAGEOUS SSH STELLA STUNNING VELVET HOUR
K Y L I E M I N O G U E O U T R A G E O U S
E B C H R I S T I N A A G U I L E R A E E S
R R A L E X C U R R A N U E A K X E L A R H
R I V I C T O R I A B E C K H A M R L T K F
Y T J E N N I F E R L O P E Z T E I A E N U
K N O I D E N I L E C O N L F E C P M M I M
A E G W E N S T E F A N I O R M O S B T P E
T Y H E M I N I S T R Y O F S O U N D S S Y
O S T E L L A C G N I N N U T S T I A U U D
N P A R I S H I L T O N S F I S U D S J O O
A E S A R A H J E S S I C A P A R K E R I O
K A T I E P R I C E B E L I E V E I S A C G
E R M A R I A H C A R E Y L E V O L W S S E
V S T E L L A M C C A R T N E Y N S E P U D
I N T I M A T E L Y E N C H A N T I N G L A
L T R U O H T E V L E V N I G H T L I F E J
ALEX CURRAN
JENNIFER LOPEZ
MINISTRY OF SOUND
BRITNEY SPEARS
KATE MOSS
PARIS HILTON
CELINE DION
KATIE PRICE
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
CHRISTINA AGUILERA
KERRY KATONA
STELLA MCCARTNEY
GWEN STEFANI
KYLIE MINOGUE
VICTORIA BECKHAM
JADE GOODY
MARIAH CAREY
Self image is an issue that affects many people. Of course there are a few who believe themselves to be absolutely fantastic and that nothing about them could be any better. However we tend to class them as babies, and given that they have only just discovered their feet and everything they find goes in their mouths perhaps we shouldn’t consider them the norm for this issue! Having said that there’s a lot to be said for the life of a young child. I have two young children, one has just started school, but Saul is nine months old and he’s very much in the stage described above. His feet are fascinating to him, and he can get them in his mouth if he tries, two for the price of one! More than this he has no more worries other than where the next food or drink is coming from and whether or not he needs a nap - although you wouldn’t realise this contentedness from the amount of noise he makes. He has it so easy, he doesn’t have to worry about exams, going to school, how to make his food (or even how to chew it at the moment!) He doesn’t even have to worry if he needs the toilet!
blog.soteriamag.co.uk While it may seem strange to think about learning something from a baby who can’t even talk, perhaps there are lessons here. Saul, even though we try to provide him with everything he needs, will fight against us. He will sometimes refuse to open his mouth for his food, or he will wail and kick when he needs his nappy changed. Even though these things are necessary he won’t accept them willingly. This doesn’t stop when they are no longer babies either. Just the mere glimpse of a toothbrush is enough to send my other son scampering off into the distance! God has the attributes of a loving parent and He wants what is best for us. However we, like Saul, are rather wilful, we want to do our own thing. We kick and scream and thrash around while all God wants to do is take rubbish from our soiled lives away!
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Poor self-image affects different people in different ways. We feel it’s out of our control, we don’t feel that there is anything that we can do about it. So we try to take control of our lives in other ways. Something that seems harmless at first can often cause a lot of damage.
“Simply saying ‘drugs are bad’ fails to recognise the place that they unfortunately have in our society.”
Until very recently, the general message on drugs has been ‘Just Say No’. Soteria does not advocate the use of drug taking or anything that may be deemed as criminal. However, simply saying ‘drugs are bad’ fails to recognise the place that they unfortunately have in our society. The invention of Frank and offering teens advice on drug use that is informative and not patronising is a relatively new concept. Knowing when you are likely to be offered drugs, and in what situation, does not answer the questions of what harm (long term and short term) drugs may have. This is a major problem as the government and leading scientists do not fully understand the implications of taking drugs, in terms of health
h,
Everyone has to do some shopping... whether its for food, clothes, or even luxury goods. And if we have the funds available, we will often opt for the dearer brands, or the more exclusive labels. With respect to clothing the Bible advises us not to dress in a strange way, giving us the green light to buy fashionable clothing, such that we do fit in with society. However, this should not be misinterpreted as God telling us to buy items we simply cannot afford, or buy in such a way that we make ourselves stand out and make others feel unworthy or inadequate in our presence. Even in the credit crunch most people in the UK are fortunate enough to be able to afford to dress properly, eat properly and still have money left over to buy DVDs and CDs.
We’ve probably all bought things that we have later regretted buying. However, it is very easy to buy things simply for the sake of buying, maybe to relieve boredom or as a comfort. This could be referred to as trying to fill a God shaped hole with materialism. What starts off as an apparent innocent action could become routine if we let it. If you are caught in this situation, try to make note of how you are feeling before going on a spending spree. Ask yourself, why are you spending money... is it through necessity, or are you buying items to disguise negative emotions and feelings? Consider the financial impact that excessive spending may have, and consider why you should not behave in this way. Limit the amount of cash you carry with you, and consider how you should be using credit and debit cards.
Getting tipsy, getting drunk, binge drinking and how to deal with the hangover, for many people is a part of life. Regardless of the age restriction on alcohol sales (18 years), alcohol consumption pays no respect to those who become addicted or to those experiencing health problems. A trip into A & E, or facing bemused or angry parents, is often viewed as a part of growing up. A zero tolerance towards alcohol can lead to being caught out and not knowing how to drink responsibly. However, it is not a good thing to defy parents or go behind their backs. If you feel the absolute need to drink, consider why you need to drink, and the impact
that your behaviour will have on yourself and those around you. Excessive drinking can cause permanent liver and kidney damage even in teenagers. What starts off as being socially acceptable, may lead to exclusion and alienation, if addiction takes hold. Consider the company you keep and the places you visit. Will a bad choice, cause you to act irresponsibly and land you in trouble? If you are a Christian, are you being a good witness? Are you treating your body as a Holy temple for God? Seek sound advice, and pursue the help that is available.
addiction and socioeconomics. However, you should take time to find out about drugs and drug use as you do not know when you may be confronted by the issue.
whoever you may turn to for advice, will have all the answers. Be prepared to ask such a person, questions like, Where do I go to get advice on...?, Who can I speak to about...?
Whether you are taking drugs or not, make sure you know the facts! For example, if you are offered cannabis or skunk, do you know the difference between them. (Generally, skunk is a stronger form of cannabis grown in different conditions, and the effects are far more potent than cannabis). Do not assume that the teacher, youth leader or
Peer pressure can play a pivotal role in our attitude towards drugs. What someone says they have used and the regularity, may well be different from the reality. Its easy to brag and lie, and exaggerate. If you know you are going somewhere where you know you will face temptation, think twice and consider the consequences if you were to take drugs. Also consider the company you keep.
Self harm can start when a person feels that they are unable to cope with a particular situation, or they feel that they do not have the ‘tools’ to deal with the circumstances that they are in. Feelings of depression, anxiety, frustration, or of being trapped can act as a catalyst for self harm.
“The scars barely represent the problems that may lie beneath them”
In as much as self harm can be a ‘cry for help’, it is not something that people would be proud to be seen doing in front of their friends and family. The scars are seldom perceived as trophies; in fact the scars barely represent the problems that may lie beneath them. As with eating disorders, the person may feel that self harm is something that they can take control of, when perhaps other
Pornography can be very subtle. Unfortunately, nudity is becoming more acceptable in films and advertising, and being able to define what is offensive or immoral is getting much harder. Looking at porn (straight and gay)is often perceived as being natural and a part of growing up. The re-invention of lads mags and the explicit content of some girls magazines could be argued to have desensitised young people and make soft porn more acceptable. The online availability of porn and the ease at obtaining it increases temptation to look at images you should not be looking at. Viewing porn is often done in secret, and leaves feelings of guilt and living in fear of being caught. If you are finding that you are compelled to keep looking at the next image, and find yourself unable to help yourself, restrict the availability of the temptation. Maybe limit the change in your pocket to stop yourself buying that mag, put blocks on your computer so you cannot download wrong images, and avoid the TV programs that may make you fall. When you face temptation, pray about it, confident that God will answer your prayer and overcome the temptation.
situations are beyond their control. A pattern can quickly emerge and escalate. Eating disorders can go hand in hand with self harm, but not always. However the triggers are often the same. Compulsive over eating, bulimia, anorexia, can hide feelings of despair or lack of control in one’s life. If you are caught in this situation, consider talking to your family doctor or someone you can trust (e.g. a teacher), and seek counselling. Consider writing a diary as a means of expressing how you feel, particularly when you are feeling down or tempted to self harm.
This is not an exhaustive list of the addictions that we can all fall prey to especially when we are feeling trapped or depressed. We have tried to talk about the most common in our experience. If you suffer from any of these issues (or others not mentioned) please seek help. It’s hard to talk about these issues, you may not feel able to speak to your parents or youth leader about some of these things. So we have provided a list of helpful web sites and phone numbers on the next page.
PARENTS PERSPECTIVE For an addiction like compulsive shopping or drug taking, consider the source of income. Ask yourself, are you feeding a habit. Do not be afraid to approach the subject of finance and try to explain the possible implications of the unwanted behaviour.
When watching TV or flicking through celeb magazines, avoid saying that a particular person is too fat or too thin, as this is only a subjective view. Also, the young person may relate to a particular celebrity; negative comments about a particular celeb may reinforce negative feelings that they may have about themselves. Essentially, be sensitive and try to speak in a positive way.
If you visit a GP, particularly with respect to alcohol, drugs, eating disorders or self harm, do not expect the GP to be fully trained in that particular area. Do not be afraid to press the GP for extra help, in pointing you in the right direction, or even asking for a second opinion from someone who is specifically trained or who has a more extensive background.
Do not be afraid to seek help on behalf of a young person. They may not seek help for themselves; they may not even realise Encourage interests beyond that they have a problem weight and image. Having or appreciate the possible outside interests that severity of it. Specialist makes someone feel valued web sites and phone for what they are able numbers are a good way to bring or achieve is far of gathering information, healthier than focussing on and could provide you with self image that may even information as to how to be distorted. deal with the immediate needs of a situation.
Do not assume that a particular problem is only associated with a particular type of person from a particular background or culture. Do not assume that someone is too young or too old, or the wrong gender to experience a particular problem. Anyone can make mistakes, and anyone can be affected by addictions and problems arising from low self esteem, or peer pressure.
For self harm and eating disorders, reassure and reassure!! Avoid phrases like, ‘In my day’, and avoid passing on your own insecurities. This is not only irrelevant, but can be unhelpful and may have a negative impact on the situation.
GET MORE HELP AND ADVICE FROM THESE ORGANISATIONS
www.talktofrank.com Tel: 0800 77 66 00 Advice on drugs and drug related issues
http://newlifehabits.com Pornography, masturbation and sexual addiction help.
www.recovery.org.uk Drugs, alcohol, eating disorders; lists official and unofficial weblinks
www.childline.org.uk Tel: 0800 1111
www.oagb.org.uk Overeaters anonymous
www.thesite.org General information on issues affecting people including addiction.
www.b-eat.co.uk www.counselling-directory.org.uk e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk Addictions, abuse and eating disorders; how to Tel: 0845 634 1414 find an appropriate counsellor. Help and information on eating disorders.
www.indiana.edu/~engs/hints/shop.html Focuses on how to manage shopping addiction. www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery Tel: 0800 110 100 www.nshn.co.uk General information aimed at teens, including National Self Harm Network forum. alcohol and drugs issues
Do you think...
He’s just not that into you?
THEN YOU WOULD BE VERY WRONG. GOD CARES FOR YOU SO MUCH THAT HIS ONLY SON WHO WAS USED TO THE GLORY OF HEAVEN CAME TO EARTH, WAS KILLED IN THE MOST TORTUOUS FASHION POSSIBLE. ALL TO REMOVE THE BLOCKAGE (SIN) IN THE WAY OF A PROPER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. THROUGH A BELIEF IN JESUS CHRIST WE CAN BE ADOPTED AS JOINT HEIRS OF THE KING OF KINGS. HE’S TOTALLY INTO YOU, ARE YOU INTO HIM?