PSA LGBTQ+ 101

A much needed public service announcement directed at the non-allied, conservative straight community as a basic education on what it means to be LGBTQ+.

BY MARCY SHORTUSE AND JOHN SOTOMAYOR

Editor’s Note: This article was initially meant to be published in another Florida magazine, in a place quite far from here (both geographically and metaphorically). However, it was decided by the publisher that their conservative readership “was not ready” for subject matter “of this sort.” We at EMBRACE Magazine found that while it’s a shame for one person to make that assumption for others, some of whom might be very interested in other walks of life, it is still far too common for the population of some parts of Florida to feel intimidated by anything outside “the norm.” With permission, we were able to salvage the interview and publish it in our own publication.

These are confusing times we live in. It seems like every day something new is being discussed on the news or on social media regarding things many people simply weren’t ready for. For some, it’s UFOs, for others it’s AI (Artificial Intelligence). Heck, some people are still struggling with the COVID concept.

Once of the most misconstrued topics we have been dealing with as of late is how the LGBTQ+ lifestyle has become more mainstream. Even though almost every household for hundreds of years has had at least one relative or friend who has fallen into that category, it was easy to sweep that uniqueness under the rug and move on with life.

While we may parade our crazy relatives on the porch and give them a drink, it’s never been a “civil” topic of discussion to ponder why Uncle Frank always brings the same male friend to Thanksgiving dinner … for more than 20 years.

This little posh enclave is a unique place unto itself, filled with incredibly deep-thinking, intelligent people, steeped in tradition, social etiquette and staunch conservatism. The descendants of some of the most financially lucrative families in the country are here; some even had the original pilgrims in their lineage. We are, in a nutshell, where “woke” goes to die.

That being said, we thought it might be interesting to sit down with someone who can give us a solid opinion from the other side of the acronym. This respected, businessman/creator/editor/writer who lives in a far, far away part of Florida called Ocala is named John Sotomayor, a man who has many irons in the business re, to be sure. One iron that we noticed more than any other is a new magazine to come on the Florida scene called Embrace. It is a magazine created for the LGBTQ+ community and its surge in popularity is unprecedented – more so than any magazine of any other genre that we have seen in a long time. (Of course, this has some of us gritting our teeth a time or two during the annual awards presentation when they’re sitting a table filled with awards … it was literally groaning from the weight … but we digress …)

We figured that John, the publisher and editor-in-chief of this publication, might be the perfect person to help explain to our readership what some of this “love is love” fuss is all about. Here is a segment of our question-and-answer session:

ANON: John, thank you so much for agreeing to help us out here. I know many of our readers are reaching out for help on this particularly sensitive topic. If you could, please let us know a little bit about yourself.

EM: I would be happy to, but before I begin, what an introduction. Wow, thanks. Would you like to be my PR agent? And for Embrace as well. I read that intro and thought, that guy sounds like he’s really got his act together. I’d like to know him. And his magazine? I’ve got to read that. Yes, I reside in Ocala and have been there since January 2005, but I am not from the area. And neither is my ideology. Ocala is as conservative as where you’re coming from. I am not sure how many Blue Bloods we have here whose ancestors rst viewed America from the deck of the May ower, but they are proud card-carrying Republicans and self-proclaimed patriots. I consider myself as American as anyone else and defend the America I know and love with every ounce of my being.

I was born in Manhattan, NYC and raised in Jamaica, Queens. My blood runs blue, but not blueblood – I’m a Democrat. What else could I be, born to immigrant parents of South American heritage and raised as a working-class New Yorker who embraced my gayness since my rst errant pubescent thought?

Sure, I tried to blend in and “be straight” at first. But that didn’t take. It’s not easy getting into Angelina Jolie when you really want Brad Pitt. And like my brief stint as a straight adult male, I wasn’t always a magazine publisher and editor. I had early ambitions to become a disgustingly wealthy lawyer before I became the humble media man you see before you today.

That all changed when I was forcibly outed in law school at the age of 24. A lot has changed, actually, thanks to that one critical life event. I gave up the dream of becoming a lawyer, as well as the illusion of living straight. Once that door opened, a whole new world opened up. One where we can live as we were meant to be, and not assembly line copies of what conformity uncomfortably molds us to be.

ANON: Tell us what it means to you to be able to reach a group of people who are struggling with the idea of what the LGBTQ+ community is. I think we need a little help, as there are some who are still seeing the acronym and thinking, “Lettuce, Greens, Bacon, Tomato …”

EM: Your questions are making me hungry. And also, reflective. When I think about reaching out to a new group of people struggling with the idea of what the LGBTQ+ community is, I think about my first feature on LGBTQ+ life in Ocala, written for Ocala Magazine when I was the executive editor. A story had fallen through the cracks, as they sometimes do. We had a brainstorming session to fill this void and my then-publisher asked me, as a gay man, how I felt writing about gay life in Ocala to fill the space. It had never been done before, but the publisher of Ocala Magazine at the time took pride in the publication’s reputation as cutting edge.

I replied that it was an excellent idea, but not as a filler. We should devote three months to its development, I said, not three days. She agreed and we moved on it.

Given the green light, I wondered what the angle would be. A night out in the town was too progressive and the historic look was too uneventful. I thought, what was Ocala, Marion County all about? It occurred to me that it was all about faith and family and if I were ever to resonate with this audience, they needed something they could relate to. It took time and lots of rejection, but I finally found two families willing to share their experiences.

One family was a coupling of two female partners and two males, all in the medical eld, who conceived and raised biological children together. People fell in love with the adorable story. How could they dislike a blended, educated family? It humanized LGBTQ+ people for readers.

The other was of two African American lesbians who helped raise the teenage friends of their biological children who came from troubled homes. They were all boys, and all were white. They were welcomed into the home with the blessings of their biological parents, all going through nancial or substance abuse problems. All the teens had a supportive environment, but also strict discipline. They were not allowed to misbehave and most importantly, they had to attend spiritual services. Both women were members of a progressive church and led the musical choir.

In short, the boys benefitted from this loving environment. All graduated from high school, found employment, married, and raised their own families. When interviewed, all the boys spoke lovingly of their “moms.” It didn’t matter to them that they were lesbian or black. They saw them as people of value they wanted to emulate. That was a powerful story.

ANON: When we go back in time, even before Shakespeare, men have dressed in drag. We’ve elevated Freddie Mercury, David Bowie, Iggy Pop, Devine, Prince and Ru Paul to celebrity status without a second thought. What’s the problem now?

EM: Let’s not forget about all the straight men who wore drag for entertainment reasons and it did not o end anyone at the time. They include Tyler Perry as “Medea,” the cast of “The Kids in the Hall,” Jack Lemon and Tony Curtis in “Some Like it Hot,” even Rudy Giuliani at a charity dinner while he was mayor of New York City! He was motor boated by Donald Trump in that comic skit!

The reason why drag is a topic of controversy now is purely political … and drag was not even the ember that sparked the ame.

Primarily, conservative factors began to lose their patience with advancements made by the LGBTQ+ community when it came to transgender treatments made available to minors. Someone, somewhere was quoted, either truthfully or not, as saying we as the LGBTQ+ community had an obligation to children who identified as transgender to help “protect” them from their “restrictive, conservative parents.” Whether true or not, that’s where conservatives drew the line and basically lost their minds. Since then, any efforts to defend transgender rights were met with extreme challenges by the conservative right. It also coincided with Donald Trump’s loss of the second term presidential election. It was seen as a dismantling of conservative power, so it was met with a tremendous backlash and the easiest target was the highly visible LGBTQ+ community.

The moment a drag queen decided it was a good idea to read to children to make it fun and even more acceptable in society, that’s when the conservative base chose to counterstrike. The source of their ire was transgender issues. The targets of their attack were drag queens who dared to want to read a book to children. Figurative shots were red. Then, conservative legislatures backed by vocal Evangelical forces began their demolition of any LGBTQ+ rights.

The exposure to straight behavior and relationships could also be seen as “grooming.” Within the majority, one is “groomed” to desire heterosexual relationships. But no amount of straight exposure groomed me, or any other gay or lesbian, to be straight. So why would the opposite be true?

People fell in love with the adorable story. How could they dislike a blended, educated family? It humanized LGBTQ+ people for readers.

ANON: So, just to confirm, the LGBTQ+ community isn’t “recruiting” members or “grooming” anyone. They just want the freedom to be who they are.

EM: Correct. Have you, as a straight person, made the decision to be straight? Or was it innate? If you did not make the decision to be straight – not gay – that means it was natural. So, then, why would it be any di erent for a gay or lesbian person?

Of course, being bisexual, which is the “B” in LGBTQ, is another story. Bisexuals are attracted to both. There are two trains of thought when it comes to bisexuals. Either they are naturally bisexual as they claim, which would mean they were attracted to both sexes as they came of age, or they are claiming to be bisexual until they can fully accept who they really are. As a young man, I had relations with both. I tried my hardest to convince myself I was attracted to both. I can find beauty in women, but ultimately, it is the male body I desire. That is how I am wired. If my natural inclination as a man is to be attracted to other men, then no amount of exposure to women in any way, shape or form is going to change that.

ANON: Do you feel as though society has become more accepting of alternative lifestyles? It was hard enough for some to deal with men having an earring in the left or right ear in the 1980s … then trying to remember what it meant.

EM: The idea of a man wearing an earring in the left ear (that’s the “gay” one) was a ash in time. It was either adopted by punk culture, or it was the other way around. Either way, it quickly became irrelevant.

To me, understanding, thus accepting, an “alternative lifestyle” — meaning a lifestyle different than one is accustomed to — is as simple as exposure to it. Once something becomes familiar, it no longer seems unconventional.

Take the largest social change since the dawning of mankind, which is the equal rights and value of women. If you were to take a person from history, 200 or even 100 years ago, and expose them to the modern world, they would be dumbfounded by seeing women in the workplace, earning income rather than relying on men, in positions of leadership and power. To them, what we take for granted would seem like an alternate lifestyle.

Another key to acceptance is modern technology and modes of communication, such as movies, television, and the Internet. They have exposed everyone with a television set or computer to different cultures around the world. That makes them more familiar, thus easier to accept.

This also explains why gay culture is so much more widely accepted in larger cities than in rural communities. People in large cities see it more; it is no big deal to them. In smaller communities’ people gravitate toward majority rule, so conventional behavior is the status quo. Anyone who goes against the status quo would be seen as a disruptor and quickly dismissed, isolated, sometimes denied jobs, social standing, even inclusion to social functions, in an e ort to discourage it.

ANON: If you had to explain what “woke” means, how would you do that?

EM: Being “woke” to describe a person means one is aware of social and political injustice. Being “woke” in a political movement means seeking to address and correct social discrimination, inequality, and injustice. It began with racial prejudice, discrimination, and injustice, then expanded to include social inequality in sexism and LGBTQ+ rights.

In some social contexts, the term woke has been used disparagingly to describe someone who is too easily upset about these issues or talks about change but does nothing to change anything. Using it that way seems to be meant to de ate its power. For me, anyone who has woke values believes in equality for all – that everyone, despite their differences, has value. That is, in its core, human decency. How could anyone have a problem with human decency?

ANON: Last question. Will we ever get our rainbow back? Or do y’all plan to keep it indefinitely?

EM: Get it back? Ha. Rainbows, like the air we breathe, belong to everyone. You are free to use all the rainbows you want … but if you do, people might think you are gay. It seems to have been ingrained in the modern human psyche that rainbows represent anything and everything gay. Well, that’s just great marketing. I don’t know how you are going to change that.

The first rainbow ag was created by Gilbert Baker, a prominent gay political activist in San Francisco during the 1970s, the dawning of the LGBTQ+ civil rights movement after the Stonewall uprising that occurred in New York City in 1969. San Francisco was a natural draw for LGBTQ+ people because of the vibe that grew there from the artist movement, long before the gays arrived. Artists are free-thinkers and thus, free-doers. LGBTQ+ people desire freedom to be who they are, so it was a natural draw. Baker created the rainbow ag in a time when several symbols existed, like the pink triangle. But many who saw it were reminded of the Holocaust, as a symbol used by Nazis to mark gay men.

Baker wanted something more positive. He attended a Patti Smith concert and thought of the idea while high on LSD. Blown away by the diversity of the crowd, he saw it as a “rainbow of humanity” and, from that, the rainbow ag was born.

However, the rainbow ag does not just represent the LGBTQ+ community: It is meant as a message of power and rebellion. In Baker’s own words, he said, “I looked at the flags on various government buildings around the Civic Center. I thought of the original American ag with its 13 stripes and 13 stars, the colonies breaking away from England to form the United States. I thought of the vertical red, white and blue tricolor from the French Revolution and how both flags owed their beginnings to a riot, a rebellion, or a revolution. I thought the gay nation should have a ag too, to proclaim its own idea of power.”

That is some pretty powerful thinking. The idea of the rainbow ag drew inspiration from the colonial American ag itself and its spirit of freedom, rising from revolt.

It doesn’t get more American than that. A fairly immovable strength. Good luck changing that.