Angel of Mercy: Devout Christian, Ruth Coker Burks helps countless HIV+ dying men since the onset of the AIDS epidemic

Ruth Coker Burks defied convention and defined the meaning of ally and advocate for the LGBTQ community on behalf of gay men dying from AIDS since the dawn of the AIDS epidemic.

Ruth Coker Burks had a friend and that friend was Jesus. It was that friend who helped her to be a friend and mother to those who were dying from AIDS complications in the 1980’s/1990’s.

From an early age Coker Burks knew what it was to be alone and disenfranchised. Her way of dealing with that was her equivalent of an imaginary friend – Jesus.

Coker Burks was brought up in Arkansas, by her grandmother because her mother was admitted to a tuberculous sanatorium and her father died when she was five. She experienced a lot of abuse as a very young child and so spent a lot of time at church with her grandmother and learnt about faith. It was this faith that has sustained her whole life, even when the church didn’t. She was taught about heaven and hell, and that all those who ‘didn’t believe the right thing’ would go to hell, which troubled her young soul because she didn’t believe her Jesus was like that. So, when she encountered Jimmy, a young man who was dying alone from ‘Gay Cancer’ in the 1980s, she knew exactly what it felt like to be alone when you needed someone the most.

When she encountered Jimmy, he was in hospital, and it was her curiosity that led her to sneak into his room in the hospital, because the nurses didn’t want to go in and were drawing straws. When she entered the room, Coker Burks could hardly see Jimmy because he was so thin and pale. As soon as she met him, she wanted to know how she could help. He wanted his mama, something she thought she could do. She approached the nurses, but they told her his mother would not be coming (a common story for young men dying from AIDS). Coker Burks tried everything to convince his mother that he needed her, but his mother told her he had died when he became gay. When she returned to the room Jimmy thought she was his mama and rather than correct him, she decided to become the presence that Jimmy needed, until he died.

Although this was a “one-off” situation in her mind, Coker Burks went on to help hundreds of men through the years who were living with the stigma that this era placed on them in middle America. When asked why she helped so many people Coker Burks said, “I do not understand how you can’t be compassionate.”

Coker Burks had faith, strong faith, a faith which guided her every single day. However, the church she attended refused to help, not wanting “those sorts of people” on their campus. She continued to pressure the church to help but found herself stripped of her position on the Finance Committee and talked about behind her back by the pastors. She would sit at church every Sunday, oftentimes crying after hearing wonderful preaching, but when it came to pastoring those who needed it, she said “they didn’t have a soul for it.” Coker Burks describes herself as a “New Testament girl,” who saw what Jesus was asking people to do and knew what needed doing. However, she couldn’t get those in positions of power and privilege to help. She pushed forward, with those from the church who would work with her, oftentimes secretly.

Coker Burks also encountered obstruction from medical staff who wouldn’t allow another young man, Billy, into the hospital, to get the treatment he needed. Coker Burks threatened the administration of the hospital with “more publicity than you would ever want” and Billy was eventually allowed in. In the early days, she thought every person helped would be the last one, but more kept coming. The help became more than advocacy and support, but also a place of dignity to lay their bodies to rest after they died. Coker Burks set aside part of her property for a resting place for those who needed it. She said, “how do you go backwards when there are people suffering and dying - by themselves - not having food - nobody to check on them - no place to bury them?” Coker Burks was threatened by the Ku Klux Klan, and lost her best friend due to her compassion. When asked why she kept going, her response was “why wouldn’t I keep going? I see someone hurting. I have to do something – it is the core of my faith in action. It doesn’t take but a minute to care.”

Coker Burks went on to help hundreds of men through the years who were living with the stigma that this era placed on them in middle America. When asked why she helped so many people Coker Burks said, “I do not understand how you can’t be compassionate.”

Coker Burks went on to advocate for laws to change, including the S.641 - Ryan White CARE Act Amendments of 1996. Even though her health was compromised due to a stroke in 2010 and blood clots since, she has never stopped advocating for those who need it.

When asked what she most wanted people to know, she replied “it was the churches that threw them out; they lost their churches, their family, their friends but I have found them to be more Christ-like than many others who are leading churches.”

Did You Know?

Ruth Coker Burks’ book, “All the Young Men,” comes out in paperback in November 2021, and tells the story of how this angel became the face of compassion to a group of men who so many people left for dead.

Coker Burks received The Hero Award at the 2019 Attitude Awards presented by Attitude Magazine and in 2017, she was awarded the Thom Weyand Unsung Hero Award by the National AIDS Memorial.