Embrace Magazine — The Heroes Issue by embracemedia

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ON THE FRONT LINES LGBTQ NURSES BATTLE COVID 19

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CALLED TO MOVE

LEADING THE WAY

PERFECT FORM

Transgenders and activists discuss Black Lives Matters

Profiles on Noth Central and Central Florida LGBTQ leaders

Rookie Cory Freeman wins backto-back 1st place in bodybuilding

DIY landscaping trends and food trends for pandemic care

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26 I Got You Covered ASB Financial

On the Front Lines LGBTQ nurses battle COVID-19 BY JOHN SOTOMAYOR

36 Called to Move The recharge of the Black Lives matter movement within the LGBT Community BY JOHN SOTOMAYOR

Leading the Way Profiles on 6 local LGBTQ leaders and 1 honorable mention BY SARA GIZA

Our Family Photo-essay: 2 mothers share their intimate engagement and pregnancy BY ASHLEIGH SNEED AND PORCHEA SANDERS

BY JOHN SOTOMAYOR

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Contributors Publisherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Note

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Mind Body Soul Finance: Money Matters

ISSUES + POLITICS

Transgender Youth Medical Care Bans

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The King and Queen of Rock ‘n’ Roll, Little Richard Jean & Chloe: Secrets of Fox Hills Drive

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Food Trends: Pandemic Self-Care A Tree-mendous DIY Project

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READER FEEDBACK We want to hear what you think of each issue and welcome your comments and suggestions at john@sotomayormedia.com FOLLOW US ON www.facebook.com/embracemagazine.us

CONTRIBUTORS The mission of Embrace Magazine is to unite LGBTQ+ and straight communities to live, work, play, and pray together. We also wish to provide a platform for LGBTQ+ people to have a voice and share their unique artistry. Therefore, our staff consists of two-thirds LGBTQ+ persons, and one-third straight persons within our 15-member staff.

➺ Meet our contributors …

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Joe Deleon Creative Director

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Joe Deleon is a devout husband, father, and vegan, with a wealth of more than 20 years of experience as a designer. For nine years, he served as Art Director of Charisma, the flagship magazine of Charisma Media in Lake Mary, FL, and supervised the art direction of three additional publications in digital and traditional print formats. He also contributed to national ad campaigns. He then worked for Bonnier Corporation in Winter Park, FL, providing creative vision and artistic leadership for the Parenting, Cruising World, Sailing World and Flying brands. Conan Segrest Chief Photographer Conan Segrest and his wife Yaisa have been the owners of Full Line Photography Studio for the last 10 years. They have been in the Ocala area since graduating in 1998 and married since 2001. His wife got him his first camera that same year and he hasn’t put it down since, now providing timeless wedding photography and family portraits to his clients to cherish a lifetime. Sara Giza Feature and Political Writer Sara Giza is a queer activist, who has divided her time over the past decade between freelance writing and advocacy work. She’s in her final year of graduate school for Social Work

and was a 2020 cohort member of the University of Pennsylvania’s Executive Leadership Program on Violence & Abuse Prevention. She has been a stinger for LEO Weekly and The Voice-Tribune in Louisville, Kentucky, as well as for Scripps Treasure Coast Newspapers and Vero Beach Magazine in Florida. She can be found on Instagram @ searingsara. Stephen Michael Shearer Arts + Culture Writer Stephen Michael Shearer is a film historian and Hollywood biographer. He is best known as the author of Beautiful - The Life of Hedy Lamarr and Gloria Swanson - The Ultimate Star. As a film historian he has appeared in numerous television and feature film documentaries including Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story, and will soon be seen in an upcoming feature documentary entitled Boulevard: A Hollywood Story. In his younger years Shearer had film book and film reviews published in national publications, and he had contributed research to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences Library. Shearer resides in Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota, and is currently working on two new books. Fred W. Wright Jr. Style + Trends Writer Fred. W. Wright Jr. Is a full-time freelance writer based in Seminole, Fla. A generalist, Fred writes about a wide range of subjects, from business

to ﬁlm, health to stress, history to senior citizens. Travel makes up about 75 percent of what he writes. His work has been published in numerous newspapers and magazines, including Tampa Bay Times (formerly St. Petersburg Times), National Geographic Traveler, Variety, Florida Trend, Bed & Breakfast Quarterly, and AAA Southern Traveler. He is a member of the Society of American Travel Writers (SATW). Kayla Campbell Photographer Kayla Campbell is a Destination Wedding and Portrait Photographer based in South Florida who loves wine, ZA (pizza) and capturing the memories of those who are in love and getting married throughout the world. Dalton Hobbs Photographer A creative person with an eye and interest in capturing human events through the lens, Dalton Hobbs began honing his photography talent back in 2013 in the small town of Dunnellon. He has since turned his shutterbug hobby into a full-time business in Ocala, specializing in all life events, such as weddings, graduation portraits, maternity, equine eventing, and artistic photography. Mike Fallon Travel Writer Michael “Mike” Fallon is a business professor

at Beacon College in Leesburg, Fla., and an avid traveler. He spends about three months per year traveling the world, and has visited all Seven Wonders of the World. He’s been to nearly 80 countries, and around 60 UNESCO World Heritage Sites. Steve Pafford International News and Arts + Culture Writer Steve Pafford is an English journalist, actor and author of the acclaimed book BowieStyle. Having trained from the ﬂoor up in UK music titles Q, MOJO and Record Collector, he’s had his work featured in a wide variety of British, American and Australian media including the BBC, CNN, The Independent and the New York Times. Steve divides his time between Australia and the south of France. Jill Fink Style + Trends Writer R. Jill Fink is a professional writer and artist from South Florida. She has lived in the Ocala area most of her life. She possesses two Master of Fine Arts degrees from Full Sail University; one in Media Design and one in Creative Writing. Gary Tanner Finance Writer Gary Tanner has a strong background in information technology and property and casualty insurance. He lives in Mount Dora, Fla., with his partner of more than 30 years and is an

active member of the community. Tanner owns a successful insurance agency, and he writes technology and lifestyle articles related to the insurance industry. Melissa-Marie Marks Physical Health Writer Melissa-Marie Marks is a freelance writer based in North-Central Florida. She specializes in writing about green business and green technology, renewable energy, conservation and sustainability, and holistic health. Melissa graduated from The Florida School of Traditional Midwifery in 2012 and practiced as a Florida licensed midwife until 2018, when she retired from private practice to focus on her writing career. She spends her leisure time camping with her kids and manifesting a life she loves by utilizing the law of attraction. Katie McCullough Mental Health Writer Katie McCullough, graduate of Flagler College, is currently teaching English Language Arts in Saint Augustine, FL, specializing in gifted and exceptional education. Prior to attending graduate school, Katie plans to pursue her passion for writing while ﬁnding time to travel the world. Donna Davis Spiritual Health Writer An interfaith minister and life coach, Donna Davis utilizes her life experiences to empower other people to overcome their

Sara

Stephen

Conan

Melissa

Dalton

struggles. Together with her wife, Norma, they manage Your Phoenix is Rising, a transformation coaching service focused on helping others rise from the darkness of despair and embrace their true Light Nature. Donna and Norma raised three biological children and served as legal guardians to several teenaged friends of their children during their time of need. Donna is a Registered Nurse at Parralion HCA Shared Services and Performance Director at Centers for Spiritual Living Ocala. She studied RN at Rasmussen College and psychology at Florida Atlantic University.

Asher

CONTRIBUTORS

Asher Bomse Transgender Issues Writer Asher is your average guy walking through life that happens to be living a life of Trans experience. He began transitioning in June 2015. His journey had led him down paths heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d never realized. Paths that have helped him help others.

Joe

Katie

Gary

Krisie Bell Issues + Politics Writer Fred

Kayla

Mike

Krisie

Steve

Jill

Krisie Bell has been a Registered Nurse in the Ocala area for nearly two decades. She is currently obtaining her Doctor of Nursing Practice degree through the University of Central Florida, and hopes to eventually specialize as a Primary Care practitioner for LGBT adults. She is married to her best friend, Andrew, and they share a blended (and chaotic) family of eight.

Donna

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PUBLISHER/EDITOR-IN-CHIEF John Sotomayor E D I TO R I A L

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Sara Giza Stephen Michael Shearer Fred W. Wright Jr. Mike Fallon Steve Pafford Jill Fink

Gary Tanner Melissa-Marie Marks Katie McCullough Donna Davis Asher Bomse Krisie Bell ART

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Joe De Leon CHIEF PHOTOGRAPHER Conan Segrest PHOTOGRAPHERS Dalton Hobbs Bonnie Whicher Kayla Campbell Jay New Alexia Fodere John Gileza Jake Stevens Asun Capalungan Ryan McGinley O P E R AT I O N S

ADVERTISING SALES DIRECTOR John Sotomayor OUR MISSION

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Second Edition 2020 Published October 2020 | Sotomayor Media Creations LLC | 352.571.0129

© All contents copyrighted 2020 by Sotomayor Media Creations LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or advertising content in any manner without written permission from the publisher is strictly prohibited. Unsolicited material will not be returned. Publisher reserves the right to approve or refuse any advertiser or contribution for any reason. Photographs are submitted by writers of each article who assume responsibility for usage approval. Publisher is not responsible for advertisers’ claims or content of advertisements. “Paid Promotional Feature” or “Special Promotional Feature” denotes paid advertising features. The ideas and opinions contained in this publication do not necessarily reﬂect the thoughts or opinions of the publisher

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Unforgettable Dream weddings are meant to be lived and shared. P H OTO S BY K AY L A C A M P B E L L , O W N E R O F M E M O R I E S E X P O S E D P H OTO G R A P H Y

Donna Davis and Norma Anderson navigated a tremulous path to get where they are today. On the way, they redefined what it means to have spiritual faith and family in the LGBTQ+ community. Donna and Norma at hallwayville locationand here, not Shane, Wes sure who's who?

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PUBLISHER'S LETTER

Honoring

Our LGBTQ Heroes

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I THINK OF THE WORD “HERO” I ➺thinkWHEN of someone who places their values and

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the welfare of others before their own security. In other words, someone willing to make a personal sacrifice for the good of others and the many. The dictionary defines a “hero” as someone who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. Heroes range from one’s family and friends to persons in the public eye, and come in many forms in life. Most people select a hero who inspires them to become a better person. This is especially true in the LGBTQ community where in the beginning we often feel isolated, unsure where to find others like ourselves, so we search for someone to identify with. For me, my first LGBTQ hero was a fellow law student when I attended law school in Washington DC in the early 1990s. I describe the time period as “pre-Ellen” before Ellen DeGeneres came out of the closet ushering an onslaught of personalities, some fictional, some real, coming out on television and film. It was also right after the HIV/AIDS epidemic of the 1980s, which made every gay person, but mostly men, fearful of coming out concerned of public backlash and ostracism. Then along came Adam. Adam attended another law school than mine. We met at a gay bar in Dupont Circle. Being both law students and from New York City, we became instant friends. What I admired most about Adam was his confidence. Intelligent and insanely attractive, confidence would be easy for him. Yet what stood out was his confidence to be out with his straight friends. Being comfortable with who he was as a gay man who passed for straight Pre-Ellen during the AIDS crisis was utterly irresistible. I was still in the closet living a double life and hating it. The idea of being myself with everyone was so enticing but frightening. Adam taught me how I could be myself and live as a proud

gay man with everyone. It wasn’t an overnight change. I still hesitated. That hesitation left me open for abuse. In my case, fellow law students at my school attempted to blackmail me. The result was overwhelming shame and confusion that led to me to drop out of law school. I returned home to NYC. That’s when I met my second LGBTQ hero. His name is Guy, and we dated. He was the complete package: smart and handsome, and most hard to come by – stable. He was a lawyer and was close to his family, which included an exwife and daughter. I was close to mine. He taught me that you can be openly gay combining your family life with your gay life. The thought of introducing my parents to my gay friends or someone I was dating was entirely foreign to me, and something I thought at the time I would never do. To be welcomed, not only by his parents and siblings, but by his ex-wife, who was the mother of his child, was an eye-opening experience that altered my view of LGBTQ and straight relations forever. It was no longer us and them; rather just us. Breaking free of my fear opened more opportunity and brought my family closer than ever. No more sneaking around. No more lies to cover my tracks. I was free. If anyone would have suggested to me back then that someday I would be the founder and publisher of an LGBTQ publication, I would have thought them crazy. I could never imagine myself to become that visible in the public eye. Yet here we are – and I could not be happier. Hopefully, my work will inspire others. Maybe not to come out, but to live their life free to explore the endless possibilities so that they may live life to the fullest. There is a sense of peace, of relief, to be free of your fear. For that, Adam and Guy are forever my heroes.

John Sotomayor Publisher and Editor-in-Chief

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Vision 2020 How to cope with The New Normal of 2020 BY KATIE McCULLOUGH

2020 has left you feeling like an inexperienced surfer that keeps getting pummeled by 20-foot waves, then I hereby welcome you to the club. It seems so long ago when we were all ringing in the new year without social distancing, without a deep-set feeling of unrest, but rather comparing the new decade to seeing in 2020 vision, among other hopeful clichés. Katie Colborne, a dear friend of mine, has aptly expressed her emotional turmoil to mirror that of the “pandemic mood swings” many of us have experienced. First, it “started with panic and uncertainty due to the unprecedented, the unknown” then “burgeoning hope” at the human response and connection until finally, a “climax of hope, stress, and grief all culminated at once in the anger of our protests.” So, what now? How do we cope with the burst of this 2020 distress bubble? I would like to argue that this year has, in a bitterly ironic twist, got us to start *seeing in 2020 vision* in the most unexpected way possible. This year has combined enough unsettling ingredients

into our cauldron of personal growth potential to spark new opportunities for educating ourselves as a means to endure our new normal and emerge with the best possible outcome. If we are honest with ourselves, a lot of us are feeling burnt out. I am not here to tell you to find the silver lining, because it is not that easy. Many of us are struggling. Hard. The LGBTQ+ community, according to Human Rights Campaign Foundation, experience more “exposure and risk of both economic and health complications” during this COVID19 pandemic than non-LGBTQ+ due to “highly affected [job] industries” and higher rates of poverty. Pair this with systemic discrimination and unsupportive community environments, it is difficult to feel safe and protected. It is important for you to consider your mental health in times like these. I challenge you to begin with the basics. Remember when the flight attendant instructed you to put the mask on yourself before your loved ones...back when it was safe to travel? If you do not take the time to acknowledge and understand your own reactions, you will not be able to help others, much less yourself. Set aside time to sit, breathe, and reflect. Perhaps develop a new hobby that provides comfort or a slice of joy. Most importantly, allow yourself moments to experience peace in this time of turmoil. This is your sign to start being intentional with your self-care. Your mental and emotional well-being depends on it now more than ever. If nothing else, let these words bring you solidarity - whether you are coping with a lost job, a lost loved one, or experiencing outrage as community members challenge your very identity with hateful comments or actions. Let me acknowledge your frustrations, your fears, and offer some peace in return. With pain comes growth if you seek to understand it.

KATIE MCCULLOUGH, graduate of Flagler College, is currently teaching English Language Arts in Saint Augustine, FL, specializing in gifted and exceptional education. Prior to attending graduate school, Katie plans to pursue her passion for writing while ﬁnding time to travel the world.

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HEALTH

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MIND B O DY SOUL FINANCE

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HEALTH

TRANSGENDER

Transitional Difference

eople of Trans experience often experience things Cisgender people don’t. However, like it anything else in life, people that are Trans experience transitioning differently. It has been known, for decades, that Trans people go through some pretty tough situations at times. It has been their transition that has varied from other Trans people they get to know. To each their own has been something that is common when it comes to transitioning. There isn’t a right way to transition. People transition at different ages, stages as well as different mentalities when they begin their transition. It has often been the same types of situations that have been another common theme. The difference being the fact each person is going to go through those situations a little differently because of a variety of factors. Their coming out stories, their living situation at the time of coming out as well as other factors vary even though they are somewhat similar. It has been similarities while growing up that are often similar as well. Rejection. It is a common theme amongst people of Trans experience. They are often rejected by their blood family as well as many of their friends. Oftentimes, it is a direct result of religious beliefs. To them, there are two genders, male and female, that God made, of which people have to live as the Gender they were born as. That they

are “going through a phase” that will pass in time. A phase that isn’t a phase at all. Self-discovery. It is something that happens to everyone. For people that are Trans, they realize they aren’t going through a phase after all. That it is very possible to live an authentic life. Even though others in their life are going to cut them out of their lives as a result. For living an authentic life. For Trans people, they’ve found themselves. Finally. And shed the life they once had. Living authentically is all anyone ever wants. To be happy living in thine own skin. For Trans people, it isn’t always easy. It is a happy thing to do though. For a Trans person, to live authentically is living happily. To be seen as the gender they’ve always identified as. To be seen as themselves instead of the gender they were born as. Everyone goes through differences when transitioning. A transition that is worth it to Trans people.

ASHER BOMSE is your average guy walking through life that happens to be living a life of Trans experience. He began transitioning in June 2015. His journey had led him down paths he’d never realized. Paths that have helped him help others. ILLUSTRATION BY: MARY LONG

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BY ASHER BOMSE

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Not Your Grandmother’s Victory Garden: Why You Need to Grow Food NOW (And 5 Ways to Get Started) BY MELISSA-MARIE MARKS

the early spring of 2020, a bleak photo of empty shelves became the poster child for the novel coronavirus pandemic. It wasn’t just the toilet paper, though. Grocery stores across the nation were running out of food. Ground beef, wheat flour, pasta, rice and beans; all gone within a period of two weeks or so. The pandemic has highlighted many ongoing systemic problems that need addressing in the United States. Disruption to our food supply chain, however, is one problem that we can address ourselves. If Your Great Grandmother Could Do It, So Can You Victory Gardens made history during both World Wars. While America’s farms were sending the majority of their produce overseas to support the war efforts, American families were turning every patch of grass they could find into bountiful vegetable gardens. Today, victory gardens are shining in the spotlight once again. Gardening puts fresh food on the table, provides immune-strengthening Vitamin D from the sun, and gives us a great workout. 5 Ways to Get Gardening Now 1. Start small. Build just one raised bed in your yard, fill it with potting mix, and plant some seeds. Be sure to check out your local growing zone before deciding which seeds to plant and when to plant them. 2. If you live in an apartment, you can still grow an

abundance of vegetables by gardening in 5-gallon buckets on your patio. 3. Consider growing sprouts and microgreens indoors. Not only will you have delicious and nutritious greens year-round, you’ll also have cleaner air inside! 4. Utilize permaculture principles to transform your yard: catch rain in barrels to water your garden year-round, compost your food scraps to make free fertilizer, and put up bird houses, bat boxes, and bee homes to attract pollinators. 5. Create an LGBTQ+ friendly community garden! Start out by creating a Facebook or Meetup group and hold regular ZOOM meetings. Then, find available space and get gardening! Hold weekly or monthly garden party potlucks, exchange tips, share supplies, and create seed boxes to share leftover seeds. The coronavirus pandemic should motivate us all to learn how to grow our own food, engage our communities, and become resilient! The power to change your future is in your hands. Just add a little dirt.

MELISSA-MARIE MARKS is a freelance writer based in North-Central Florida. She specializes in writing about green business and green technology, renewable energy, conservation and sustainability, and holistic health. Melissa graduated from The Florida School of Traditional Midwifery in 2012 and practiced as a Florida licensed midwife until 2018, when she retired from private practice to focus on her writing career. She spends her leisure time camping with her kids and manifesting a life she loves by utilizing the law of attraction.

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Remaining Spiritual During Crisis Remaining spiritual during COVID-19 and the Black Lives Matter movement is challenging, especially if you are black and LGBTQ. BY R E V. D O N N A DAV I S ( Y P i R )

I look around at the world, it seems to be ripping apart. Our nation is divided into different people all shouting about their ancestors and how they were wronged in the past. As a black lesbian on the front lines of the Covid-19 pandemic, I am torn between wanting to stand with my Black Lives Matter brothers and sisters and working to save the lives of some who may not even like the color of my skin. How do we see past all the hurt? How do we rise out of all this ancestral pain? I have a white friend that said to me that he felt like he was suffering because of the deeds done by his forefathers with the movement. He is angry and feels like “they should just get over it.” We all have a past. We all have some form of ancestral drama. Especially those who feel ostracized by their very family that should love and accept them. As LGBTQ people, some have had this fight and much more. Hurt people hurt others. I have heard this said time and again and it is the real crux of the matter. We must realize that we are all born as perfect in the eyes of God. We come into the experience that is humanity with wide open hearts and joy in our soul. We are curious about the world and everything around us. I invite you to take a moment to think about the other

side. No matter how hard they seem. Try to think about that little child that was taught to hurt others. I smile at white faces, even the ones who don’t want to smile back. Even those who say snide comments and may in their hearts want to wipe my dark face from their sight and from this planet. I beam love and smile at them. I know that there is a child who is hurt somewhere in them calling for love. Love is the only thing that will bring people together. Pray for them. Jesus said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing.” They are coming from pain. Love is the ultimate healer in all things. Love for those who may hate us and love for the healing of the planet. Covid-19 came to warn us that we needed to pay attention to the planet. We just needed to stop and give Nature a chance to breathe. Covid-19 forced us to take a collective break. The wound is being shown to us right now. It is time for us to rise to occasion and heal our planet and humanity with love.

An interfaith minister and life coach, DONNA DAVIS utilizes her life experiences to empower other people overcome their struggles. Together with her wife, Norma, they manage Your Phoenix is Rising, a transformation coaching service focused on helping others rise from the darkness of despair and embrace their true Light Nature. Donna and Norma raised three biological children and served as legal guardians to several teenaged friends of their children during their time of need. Donna is a Registered Nurse at Parralion HCA Shared Services and Performance Director at Centers for Spiritual Living Ocala. She studied RN at Rasmussen College and psychology at Florida Atlantic University.

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Same-Sex Marriage and Finances BY GARY TANNER

inances can always bring difficult decisions, and that is no different with same-sex couples. It can be tricky, and you want to make sure that you’ve paved the right path to retirement and sound financial health for your future. There is plenty of room for education about the legal implications of marriage, and topics such as taxes, health insurance, retirement benefits, inheritance, and more. Marriage brings federal legal rights, and as you might guess, many of those impact the couple’s financial situation. Tax strategies are one crucial area where a new marriage can affect your finances. Does one spouse earn significantly more than the other? If that is the case, your combined tax bill might be less. Both high earners? You may pay more after you take your vows due to the loss of deductions. One of the essential federal legal rights gained after marriage is access to one another’s Social Security benefits. Check out the Social Security Administration’s online tools to estimate how much these benefits might be worth to you and your spouse. Healthcare costs are on everyone’s minds these days — gay or straight. Most health plans limit spousal coverage precisely as the name states: you’re only covered if you are the participant’s legal spouse. With the ability to legally marry, same-sex couples can now take advantage of the ability to cover their partners on their health insurance policies and to choose which employer offers the best value for families.

Retirement plans are another area where spousal status matters. Some private employer plans and federal government retirement plans have already changed their provisions to recognize same-sex marriages due to earlier regulations and decisions. If you’re in a same-sex marriage and aren’t sure whether your retirement plan legally recognizes your spouse, talk to your human resources representative and ensure that your rights are recognized. All couples (gay or straight) deserve to have financial security. Same-sex couples do face unique challenges in this area and, as noted, deal with a higher level of economic insecurity than that in the general population. Fortunately, with education and a game plan, it is possible to increase your confidence in the steps you’ve taken toward financial security. Show your partner how much you love him or her by scheduling a “business date.” Have a nice dinner and talk through areas in your financial lives that could use some attention.

GARY TANNER has a strong background in Information Technology and Property & Casualty Insurance. He resides in beautiful Mount Dora, Florida, with his partner of 30+ years and is an active member of the community and surrounding areas. Gary owns a successful insurance agency in Lake County and contributes each year to the local school system. He has written technology and lifestyle articles for online publications and writes blogs related to the insurance industry and local food scene.

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HEALTH

Bradley Moore REALTORÂ®

Call 321.206.1777 Email: Bradley@MrListerFL.com

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I Got You Covered ASB Financial licensed insurance broker Carlos Nieto has the direct line to insurance providers who will not refuse high-risk members of the LGBTQ community. By John Sotomayor

“TO LEAVE OUR CLIENT’S HOME BETTER OFF THAN WHEN WE GOT THERE.”

arlos Nieto prides himself on being an ally to the LGBTQ community. He has family members – cousins – who are LGBTQ, so he is sympathetic to their issues, primarily when it comes to acquiring insurance. Many LGBTQ people endure multiple rejections when they apply for coverage, especially if they are a high-risk candidate. This is especially true for HIV positive applicants. Ninety percent of insurance companies enact the Knockout question early in the process, eliminating the applicant without further consideration simply because of their HIV positive status. Fortunately for Nieto’s clients, he has honed his six and a half years of experience as a licensed insurance broker to apply with the 10 percent of companies he knows will consider them despite being HIV positive. That is the level of personal care and consideration the LGBTQ community can expect from Carlos Nieto – a broker who can deliver results, not rejections. “I take pride in being able to help everybody and anybody, no matter the circumstances, get life insurance,” said Nieto. A close friend of Nieto’s of over 20 years was diagnosed as HIV positive. He was distraught over the concern he would be rejected from life insurance that would cover funeral expenses so that his family would not need to burden themselves with the cost. Nieto represented him and got him the coverage he needed. This comes from experience and relationships. Throughout his career, Nieto learned which companies will consider an applicant structuring the coverage to their needs, from as low as $2,500 to millions. The company with up to $250,000 policy for persons with HIV will not automatically guarantee coverage, but it will consider them based on treatment history, and factors such as detectability. Nieto works in the Ocala branch for ASB Financial, the Florida division of American Senior Benefits, a nationwide company with 500 offices throughout the United States. The firm has a comprehensive portfolio of insurance and financial products in the areas of Medicare, retirement planning, life insurance, incidentals, and post-hospital care from the highest rated and most respected companies in the industry. Nieto puts these resources and assets to good use for your ben-

TO FIND OUT MORE VIST carlosnieto.myasbfinancial.com

efit. When it comes to insurance and financial protection, Nieto knows the value. In 2004, Nieto lost a brother to brain cancer at the age of 32. His brother did not have life insurance when he died. He had an 8-year-old daughter at the time, who Carlos’ parents had helped raise. “They paid for her car and college education, everything that my brother would have done, but they had to do it out of pocket,” said Nieto. Nieto’s parents also had to cover all the funeral arrangements. That is something that should have been covered by life insurance. Nieto was born in Puerto Rico and moved to Florida when he was 11 years old. The family first lived in the Florida Keys for a year and a half, then moved to Orlando for a year. His parents settled in Deltona where Nieto and his brother attended middle and high school. Carlos moved back to Orlando for college, attending UCF and Valencia. He has lived in Ocala since 2011. Between him and his second wife, they have four children. Nieto’s daughter is 21. His son will be 19. Through his wife, they have a 15-year-old son, and a 12-year-old daughter. He describes his family as a blended family. Nieto has all his children covered by insurance. The importance he says, is to make sure the family is protected from the high cost of funeral arrangements and loss of work during the bereavement process. Nieto’s parents are still living in the same Deltona home since 1988. They are in their mid-70s. Nieto made sure that his parent’s plan covers the surviving spouse so that they are never left paying for expenses out of pocket again. Nieto wants to do the same for you and your family, especially blended families in the LGBTQ community that may find it harder to find the protection they can have and are entitled to receive. CONTACT ASB Financial 2437 SE 17th Street Suite 202 Ocala, FL 34471 Direct Phone: 352.368.7534 Preferred Cell: 386.479.8111 Carlos@asbfinancial.com carlosnieto.myasbfinancial.com

Tales and medical

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A registered nurse, Donna Davis jumped at the chance to travel to New York City to assist the COVID-19 pandemic crisis when she read a post on Facebook about a call for help. A friend in the medical field posted the notice from Krucial Staffing which sought nurses with ICU experience. The only information available was that nurses had to be certified and available to leave overnight. Donna would only go if her wife Norma Anderson would travel with her. She needed her support if she was to be able to endure the hardship that awaited. Norma had doubts. She suffered from hypertension and diabetes. Her wife, Donna, suffered from asthma. Both would be in the high-risk group if exposed. They would probably face the harshest effects of COVID-19. Armed with their unshakeable faith over fear, the couple who led by example to their family, friends, and fellow parishioners at the Center for Spiritual Living Ocala decided they had to assist wherever called, and this was a calling. On March 22, 2020, Donna and Norma left behind the security of their home in Ocala, Fla. toward the hotbed of the COVID-19 pandemic, and the unknown. Chaos in the City Upon arrival, the pace from airport to hotel to hospital was whirlwind. All the nurses recruited by Krucial Staffing were housed at the New Yorker Hotel on 8th Avenue, near Penn Station. At the time, the organization did not state that spouses were prohibited, and with each nurse given their own room as a precaution, Norma’s presence did not disturb the process or integrity of the operation. They hugged goodbye then Donna boarded her bus and was whisked to her assigned hospital. Not knowing where she would go or what she would be asked to do, Donna could not possibly prepare for what awaited her. Donna was assigned to Elmhurst Hospital in Queens; one of the hardest hit hospitals facing the novel coronavirus. “When we arrived at the hospital, they conducted a preliminary orientation and the seriousness of the med-

ical requirements became apparent,” said Donna. “When we arrived on the floor, it was obvious this was a crisis situation. Machines were beeping all around us. Everyone was running around responding to codes. There was no final orientation. We were thrown right in.” Everyone was in full personal protective equipment (PPE), the gear that includes protective clothing, helmets, googles, and other equipment designed to protect the wearer’s body from injury, illness, and infection, even the nurses’ station. PPE is normally worn inside the most critical patients’ rooms, not at every station of the hospital. The scene looked like a triage center during war time. To Donna and the other nurses, it looked like the Apocalypse, and was often described as such.

Donna Davis, RN, in full personal protective equipment (PPE), which includes protective clothing, helmets, googles, and other equipment designed to protect the wearer’s body from injury, illness, and infection.

Armageddon Elmhurst is a primarily Asian and Hispanic working-class community that added cultural clash and language barriers when it came to understanding the danger of COVID-19, and applying the simple but often ignored solutions of social distancing, wearing masks, and frequently

washing hands or using hand sanitizer. Coupled with overcrowded housing, often with 10 or more family members living in poorly ventilated apartments, it became a recipe for disaster. “If one person got sick and lived with 10 other people, then they all got sick,” said Donna. “Many of them did not have insurance, so they were reluctant to seek treatment.” The infection rates skyrocketed in the apartment buildings and places of employment that these sick people lived and worked. People were crashing and coding then dying every day. On June 1, 2020, the mortality rate peaked. They were running out of space in the morgue, so they set up refrigeration trucks outside to handle the

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“WE BEGAN PLACING SURGICAL MASKS OVER THE N95, SINCE THE SURGICAL MASKS WERE MORE READILY AVAILABLE. THIS WAS AN UNHEARDOF PRACTICE BEFORE, BUT DONE OUT OF NECESSITY.” –DONNA DAVIS, RN

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It was reported that medical staff did not have enough or the proper gear at first. According to Donna, normally doctors and nurses switch off their N95 mask and respirator that filters out small particles in the air every time they enter a patient’s room. They are usually in a negative pressure room because the air cannot be compromised in the other part of the hospital. After leaving the patient’s room, they take off all the gear and it is thrown away. This is to prevent contamination from one patient to the next. Unfortunately, the staff were not fully stocked for the number of patients seen in NYC. “We began placing surgical masks over the N95, since the surgical masks were more readily available,” said Donna. “This was an unheard-of practice before, but done out of necessity.” Working 12 hours shifts with one day off every 21 days, the nurses were exhausted. Normally, they work three full days then are off for a day. That’s where Donna Davis, RN, Norma’s trainoutside the New Yorker Hotel in ing as a massage Manhattan waiting for therapist came in the shuttle bus service handy. Back at to her assigned hospital, Elmhurst the hotel, word got Hospital in Queens; around of Norma’s one of the hardest hit hospitals facing skills, so in a sterCOVID-19. ile environment, Norma performed massages on the nurses’ backs and feet, using proper mask coverage and frequent hand sanitizer. “They needed that in order to perform their daily physical tasks,” said Norma. Everyone was experiencing overload. They were being tested to their limits. Then on June 1, 2020, the unthinkable occurred.

largest number of deaths on a given day. The scene made national news. Donna and Norma did everything in their power to assist the New York crisis, up onto the end of Donna’s contracted three-month assignment. On June 13, 2020, they returned to Ocala. They were quarantined for two weeks as required upon return to Florida. Neither were exposed to the virus, and both are fine. Norma became more concerned about exposure from others in Ocala than in New York. In New York, everyone was required to wear masks. No one wore masks In Ocala upon their return in June. Having seen what she did, she recognized the importance. “I did not survive New York only to be exposed in Ocala,” said Norma. “Oca-

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la/Marion County is the fastest growing city and Sylvia McNeal, county in Florida based a trauma and emergency room on new cases. People are nurse for almost taking it seriously, but 20 years, they are not taking it personally.” “When you talk to a patient and they say, ‘I can’t breathe,’ then it becomes all too real,” added Donna. Their devotion to assist in the crisis continues. They are currently in Key West assisting on the front lines once again.

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“THE FENWAY INSTITUTE’S MARCH 2020 REPORT NOTES THAT LGBTQ ADULTS EXPERIENCE HIGHER RATES OF CHRONIC CONDITIONS, SUCH AS CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE, OBESITY, CANCER, AND HIV/ AIDS, AND ARE MORE LIKELY TO ENGAGE IN RISK BEHAVIORS LIKE SMOKING, VAPING, AND OTHER SUBSTANCE USE THAN THEIR STRAIGHT AND CISGENDER PEERS. CONDITIONS AND BEHAVIORS INCREASE VULNERABILITY TO THIS NOVEL CORONAVIRUS.” –BOSTON UNIVERSITY STUDY

On the Ocala Front Sylvia McNeal, a nurse at a small emergency room in Ocala has the same concerns as Donna and Norma over the growing number of cases in Ocala/Marion County. Her emergency room is equipped with only 12 rooms; four of which are segregated in the back and used for COVID-19 patients she refers to as PUIs or Patients Under Investigation. “Prior to the spike, we may have seen one person per night in those rooms,” said Sylvie. “For the past 5 weeks as of mid-August, we see those four rooms occupied at all times.” A trauma and emergency room nurse for almost 20 years, Sylvie says the most important part of working the front line is triage, which means determining who needs to be segregated out from incoming patients in order to keep others from contamination. That she says, comes with a heavy emotional burden. “Another nurse does the temperature checks and screening to see if the patient has a fever, cough, sore throat, or other symptoms,” said Sylvie. “If they do, then I have to take them out through the back so they are secluded from everyone else.” The difficulty is that incoming patients may have a fever or a sore throat but it does not mean they have COVID-19. It is unknown until they are tested. “If you go to the hospital with these symptoms, you can be secluded into a space with others who do have the virus and get exposed there,” said Sylvie. Many come in absolute fear. Sylvie recalls one of her most emotional cases. It involved a young man in his late 20s who was HIV positive, thus in a highrisk group.

“I knew he was gay because when the screening nurse asked him “who brought you here?” and “how are you getting home?” he replied “my boyfriend.” “As the screening continued, he revealed he was HIV positive,” said Sylvie. “You could see the concern on his face; he knew he was in a high-risk group, because he has a compromised immunity system.” Some routine testing revealed he had a mild fever, and his x-ray revealed he had a slight pneumonia. He was informed that these were symptoms that required him to be tested for COVID-19. He was taken into one of the four back rooms. He fidgeted as he waited. His eyes darted around the room for clues of what would happen next. As Sylvie entered, she wore her N95 mask, space shield, gloves, and plastic gown. The sight was more than he could handle. He started to break down. “When he saw me, I could see the look in his eyes,” said Sylvie. He was overwhelmed with fear. He was convinced he was going to die. Sylvie’s years of experience came into

play. Most important is demeanor. Her Nurses examine a tone would calm him newly arrived patient down. for COVID-19. “I told him there New York, NY. are things he can do to lessen the danger,” said Sylvie. “I asked him if he was taking his meds? Are you clean, meaning not using drugs? I emphasized that now is the time to start if he was not.” Sylvie put him on antibiotics to treat his pneumonia, because they did not know if it was viral or bacterial, whether it was COVID or was he just a bit under the weather complicated by his HIV. He was sent home; he was not admitted. Other than HIV, he was a very healthy young man. “We tell them to take Tylenol, drink lots of fluids to stay hydrated and avoid ibuprofen,” added Sylvie stressing, “Ibuprofen triggers COVID-19 to get worse.” Like Donna and Norma, Sylvie worries over the risk of passing COVID-19 to her family.

COVID-19 and the LGBTQ Community A study conducted by Boston University reports, “What we know and do not know of COVID-19 impact on the LGBTQ community … raises a significant concern. The Fenway Institute’s March 2020 Report notes that LGBTQ adults experience higher rates of chronic conditions, such as cardiovascular disease, obesity, cancer, and HIV/AIDS, and are more likely to engage in risk behaviors like smoking, vaping, and other substance use than their straight and cisgender peers. Conditions and behaviors increase vulnerability to this novel coronavirus.” Donna agrees. “If it started with our self-worth, and how we are connected with our community, some people fall into unhealthy behavior and addictions,” said Donna. “The virus attacks those with respiratory and cardiovascular weakness. Many of the behaviors that we abuse in the LGBTQ community makes us easy targets.” Another study conducted by Ithaca College revealed, “LGBTQ communities may be particularly vulnerable. LGBTQ people experience health disparities. Barriers to care cause us to be less likely to get medical care, and means we are more likely to have compromised health in general.

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“EVEN IF YOU ARE HOOKING UP WITH ONE PERSON PER WEEK, I AM SURE YOU ARE NOT KEEPING YOUR MASK ON AND KEEPING A SIXFOOT DISTANCE.” –SYLVIE MCNEAL, RN

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“If we come down with so much as a little cough, we worry that we are bringing this home to our families,” said Sylvie. “If we have a cough or sore throat, then our immediate thought is that I have this because I took care of these patients. It is an everyday struggle.” Sylvie lives with her fiancé, TJ, and their 11-year-old daughter. They have known each other for 11 years, and been a couple for 6 years. Sylvie is the biological mother. The father is still involved. He lives in Ocala. Sylvie has sole custody. TJ and Sylvie raise her. TJ is on disability. She has some medical conditions whereby if Sylvie did bring it home, it would affect her more than Sylvie or her daughter. Despite the risks, Sylvie conducts her job with diligence and care. Her primary concern is for the health of the community, and she will stand her post for as long as necessary.

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Health disparities magnify the impact that COVID-19 can have on us. These are among the factors that can increase our risk: • COVID-19 is a respiratory illness, and LGBTQ people smoke tobacco at much higher levels than our heterosexual cisgender peers. • LGBTQ people experience higher rates of HIV and cancer. This means more of us have weakened immune systems that can make us more vulnerable to COVID-19. • LGBTQ people regularly experience discrimination and lack of cultural competence when seeking health care. As a result, many avoid or delay seeking health care, even in emergency situations.” According to Donna, this is especially true of the transgender community. “When your ID says one gender, yet your appearance is that of another gender, the patient is subjected to numerous questions about their identity in public spaces that could be embarrassing for the patient,” said Donna. Donna and Sylvie agree emphatically with what Boston University and Ithaca College say about the effects of smoking and vaping have on the severity of COVID-19. According to Donna, when the virus gets into the system, it uses prongs to attach itself to the lungs. When someone vapes or smokes, they are causing the lungs to work hard to filter out the nicotine and

chemicals inhaled from smoking and vaping. The lungs oxygenate the blood which is then passed throughout the body into the vital organs. If the lungs take in something that is not oxygen, it now has to filter out that substance before oxygenating the blood prior to distribution to the vital organs. If the vital organs do not get enough oxygenated blood, they will begin to shut down. Add anything to the bloodstream that doesn’t help the body and causes the heart and lungs to work harder to oxygenate the blood, like excessive alcohol, drugs, or other stimulants like inhalants used to enhance sexual pleasure like “poppers” combined with Viagra, and the vital organs will compete for oxygenated blood and begin to shut down. ‘It is like Russian roulette,” said Donna. “At any moment, something will shut down. The body can only take so much and if we are not treating it right, then we are making ourselves easy targets for foreign invaders like COVID-19.” According to Sylvie, the virus settles in the throat at the beginning. Then it settles into the lungs. Once it settles in the lungs, as a virus, it cannot be treated like an infection with antibiotics. In the lungs there are little alveoli, which are the tiny air sacs where the exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide takes place as the blood passes through. Those alveoli are being attacked by the Donna Davis, RN (lower right) and her wife, Norma Anderson (lower left) pose with NYC EMT’s in New York City.

COVID-19. The blood is passing through the alveoli but does not feel any oxygen present so does not pick up oxygen as it moves forward. So, the blood does not oxygenate the body. “Those who have survived extreme cases are still suffering lasting issues with their lungs because there are literally scars on the alveoli,” said Sylvie. “In the long term, they have a more difficult time oxygenating the vital organs of the body. The scar tissue in the lungs means they would have to wear oxygen, or they constantly have a cough and constantly get sick because their immune system is pretty much shot.” Whether you are vaping or smoking, you are putting foreign chemicals in your lungs. Whether it is an oil from the vape or smoke from a cigarette. You are already compromising your lungs by doing that. “Your lungs are not designed to carry smoke and oils’” said Sylvie. “The compromised lungs from smoking and vaping are more susceptible to a virus that requires scarring to latch on. Both the smoking or vaping and the COVID-19 deprive the lungs from producing oxygenated blood, thus a double whammy.” An additional concern for the LGBTQ community is social distancing. Many people in the LGBTQ community meet others for hookups, whether at a social establishment like a bar, or meeting online. They are being promiscuous. That is a big issue, because the virus travels from close contact. “Even if you are hooking up with one person per week, I am sure you are not keeping your mask on and keeping a sixfoot distance,” said Sylvie. The virus is especially hard on those with HIV. Their immunity system is already compromised. If infected, they will not be able to fight off the COVID-19 and will endure the worst effects. “The one thing I am absolutely certain of is, if you have a compromised immune system, you will have a very difficult time fighting this virus,” said Sylvie. Ultimately, how we endure this pandemic depends upon our use of safeguards, such as wearing a mask, frequently sanitizing or washing our hands, and social distancing, coupled with an honest awareness of our own risk level.

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Activist Deb Love chants "I can't breathe!" at the peaceful protest held at the Wayne Huizenga Park in Las Olas, Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. on May 31, 2020.

The recharge of the Black Lives Matter movement by the senseless death of George Floyd resonates deeply with the LGBTQ community, particularly with Trans Lives Matter, and a connection to the Gay Civil Rights Movement of 1969, started by black transgender people hardest hit by police brutality.

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As the graphic video footage of George Floyd’s final moments with Minneapolis Officer Derek Chauvin’s boot on his neck slowly suffocating him for an agonizing 8 minutes and 46 seconds was televised, the Ross family watched alongside the rest of America in horror. Floyd, a black man, pleaded for his life. His final words were, “I can’t breathe.” Officer Chauvin is white. The date was May 25, 2020. The Ross family, like many other black families across America, was still seething over the death of Breonna Taylor, a medical technician. She was killed on March 13, 2020 – just two months earlier – when three white plainclothes officers entered her apartment unannounced with a no-knock warrant looking for two drug-dealer suspects. The officers entered the wrong place. The actual location was 10 miles away. Taylor, an innocent black woman was shot eight times in her own home. The Ross family has heard of many other similar accounts throughout their lives. They are in a high demographic for systemic abuse. Not only are they black, they are also all transgender. Tiffani Ross is considered affectionately as drag-mother. She is an entertainer in Ocala. In drag circles, “parenting” signifies mentorship. However, for the Ross’ they consider themselves family. Porsha Ross is her drag-daughter. Born and raised in Panama City, Fla., Porsha has lived in Ocala for the past eight years. She has been the Show Director at the Copa, a local gay nightclub, for the past three years. Both are transgender male to female. Vision Ross is Porsha’s fiancé. Born in Boynton Beach, Fla., Vision has done drag since 2007. Vision is currently going through the transgender process, from female to male.

Black Lives Matters protesters in London holding signs and marching outside American Embassy wearing masks during lockdown coronavirus pandemic keeping 2 meters social distance

All three have had no-fault run-ins with the law, but found their own experiences too painful to discuss. They know of other transgenders who have experienced unimaginable emotional pain and trauma while in police custody and by strangers filled with hate. “I had a good friend, Chyna Gibson, who was killed approximately three years ago. She was a Stanford University graduate, very beautiful,” said Porsha. “She went to a grocery store in her hometown of New Orleans and a guy came out of nowhere and shot her 10 times in the chest.” This story made national news. In February 2017, two transgender women, Gibson being one of them, were murdered in New Orleans within 48 hours. It was reported that Gibson was gunned down Saturday, and the second woman was found with multiple stab wounds Monday morning. The incidents put the New

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Orleans transgender community on edge. The assailant or assailants were never caught. TRANS LIVES MATTER Tiffani is cautious about where she goes. She knows her appearance would attract unwanted attention at certain places and at certain times of the day. She avoids them. If she takes the risk of venturing out somewhere out of need, like a doctor’s office or for groceries, she knows and expects someone may make a comment. Even taunt her. She never expected police officers to treat her that way. Back in the late 1990’s, Tiffani was pulled over. She had her cell phone in her hand. When asked what she had in her hand, her nerves got the best of her. She tried to put the phone in her purse. The officer reacted aggressively, ordering Tiffani to exit the vehicle. He then forced her to

“It doesn’t only happen on the outside where the news is being reported,” said Vision. “Physical altercations with officers happen on the inside where no one is looking or reporting the abuse.”

TAKING ACTION George Floyd’s final words “I can’t breathe” became the outcry for a worldwide movement. It called many to join peaceful protests. Deb Love was among them who not only attended, but took an active role. An advocate against injustice, Love – who is white – took an active interest in Black Lives Matters because both her daughter and girlfriend are biracial between black and white. Her girlfriend also has a biracial son. The two women raise both children together. “I am the only white girl in the family,” said Love with a laugh.

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the ground and ordered her to stay flat on the ground as he searched her purse, then the rest of her car. Things got worse when Tiffani was taken to jail. “They made fun of me at the jail station,” said Tiffani. “They kept bringing in new people in and out to look at me, making fun of me. I had a rough time with that.” Soft-spoken, she could barely get her words out. “They were white cops, and they wanted to get a good laugh, humiliate me and all that kind of stuff,” Tiffani continued. “It was bad, it was bad.” Tiffani coped by forcing herself to forget. It was the only way she could move on. Vision recalled the experience of a black trans woman as told to her by the friend when she lived in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. “When this friend was arrested and went through the booking process at the jail, because they did not know how to identify that person, she was given a hard time,” said Vision. “Nowadays we have more freedom to change our identity on our driver’s license, but back then we weren’t.” The friend was booked in the male facility, since the driver’s license stated this friend was male. The friend was actually trans and had already begun the process of change, so appeared female. Inside the male facility, this friend was tortured every day. “It doesn’t only happen on the outside where the news is being reported,” said Vision. “Physical altercations with officers happen on the inside where no one is looking or reporting the abuse.” When it comes to trans people, anyone going to jail is going to have a difficult time. Especially if they are locked up and doing time behind bars. There is no one there to help them.

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Raised in an impoverished, low-income, inner-city community in Pennsylvania, Love witnessed the disparity between black and white. She recognized her own white privilege, even though she herself was poor. There was a period of time in her young life that she was going in and out of youth detention centers she called “juvie hall.” “I didn’t have the greatest upbringing,” said Love. Love first realized she had privilege when she and her black friend, both 16, faced the judge for the same petty crime offense committed together. Neither have been sentenced to jail before. Love was sentenced to 19 days. Her friend was sentenced to a Level 10 program, which is 10 months to a year and a half in juvenile detention. “That right there showed me that the system favored white kids over black kids,” said Love. When Love became homeless at 17, she met a woman, Katheryn, while asking for money for food. Katheryn changed her life. Love became homeless because her mother was not accepting of Love’s lesbian lifestyle. Katheryn made Love realize that she had much more potential to give to the world with “her time, talent, and her treasures” to become the best version of herself. Katheryn got Love off the streets. “She taught me about loving self,” said Love, who has since rebuilt a loving relationship with her mother now accepting of Love’s homosexuality. “My mother now knows that you cannot pray the gay away,” said Love.

“The black trans women who started the Stonewall Riots, and thus the LGBTQ Civil Rights movement, felt more compelled to stand up because they face the greatest oppression by the police who raided the gay clubs, just for being black and for begin transgender.”

The redirection Kathryn applied to Love’s life led to her call to a life of activism. Love was a chant lead at the peaceful protest against the death of George Floyd held at the Wayne Huizenga Park in Las Olas, Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. on May 31, 2020. “For me, it was a monumental experience,” said Love. “Being onstage and chanting, it was emotional for me, just looking out into the crowd and seeing so many beautiful people that were there to represent the cause. I believe we were heard that day.” The protest began approximately 11 AM. Different prominent leaders in the community spoke throughout the day on the importance of change for the oppression of people of color as well as systemic racism and what we can do as a community to make that change. After everyone on the itinerary spoke, which included spoken word artists and youth speakers, the group of 1,500 began to march. By 4 PM, those who organized the event were finished with their roles and allowed to leave. Later that evening, there was a clash between people and police. According to Love, who was not present but was told after the fact, a police officer allegedly got into a dispute with a young woman around 5:30 to 6 PM. She was already on the ground, sitting in protest. The officer allegedly put his hands on her and pushed her flat onto the ground as a move to arrest her. “Of course, that is going to create some friction when there are people there in protest of police brutality,” said Love. “I want to make it clear that at that time, the chapter of BLM Ft. Lauderdale, Broward County, had already left the scene.” According to Love, one of the chief organizers, Tiffany, had asked everyone to go home after 4 PM, that the peaceful protest and march were now over, so BLM Ft. Lauderdale, Broward County, was no way affiliated with that occurrence. According to Love, a female police officer of color interceded and removed the officer from her, instructing him to no longer put his hands on her. From Love’s understanding, the officer accused was suspended pending further investigation. The unfortunate clash after the peaceful protest ended does not take away from its message, or the importance of it in Love’s heart. “BLM talks about defunding the police, which simply means redirecting the budget (funding) to buy more guns and using those

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The black civil rights movement started in December 1955, when NAACP activist Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a public bus to a white man. Black Lives Matter was founded on July 13, 2013 in response to the acquittal of Trayvon Martin’s murderer, George Zimmerman. Zimmerman was a volunteer neighborhood watch coordinator for his gated community in Sanford, Fla. where Martin, a 17-year-old black high school student, was visiting his relatives. Martin was unarmed in an altercation with Zimmerman, who claimed selfdefense.

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BOUND TOGETHER June 28, 1969 could have been just another day in the life of the nightclub-going gay crowd, including a police raid on Stonewall Inn, a popular gay club in New York City’s Greenwich Village. Raids were common then. What was different that night was the response. Several patrons decided, like Love, enough. Patrons and local sympathizers turned violent against the authorities. The first to fight back were black transgenders, who were the most mistreated by officers. Bottles were thrown. Disorder took over the streets, which was not restored until after 4 AM. Several days of demonstrations in New York followed. It was the impetus of the Gay Liberation Front, thus the dawn of the gay civil rights movement. The next year, the first official New York City Pride Parade was held, which is now seen in every city, large and small, around the world. It became an unstoppable force. In recent years, the LGBTQ community were granted every civil right given to the straight community, including nondiscrimination in housing and employment, the right to serve in the military, the right to adopt, and the right to marry. “The fact that black transgender women were the pioneers of the Gay Rights Movement of 1969 is probably lost on most people, including many in the LGBTQ community,” said Porsha. “I think it will be discussed more and known now in the forefront because of what is happening now with Black Lives Matter and Trans Lives Matter.”

BLACK CIVIL RIGHTS AND BLM HISTORY

“It is the same battle,” said Love. “The black trans women who started the Stonewall Riots, and thus the LGBTQ Civil Rights movement, felt more compelled to stand up because they face the greatest oppression by the police who raided the gay clubs, just for being black and for begin transgender.” Still, we have more to go. Christian Cooper, a gay black man who was bird-watching in New York City was killed by NYPD when a white woman falsely accused him of being abusive to her, simply because he asked her to leash her dog as required in Central Park. There is an epidemic of violence against black transgender Americans. A well-known black transgender woman, Nina Pop, 28, was stabbed to death in Missouri on May 3, 2020. The Human Rights Campaign lists her death as the 10th violent death of an American transgender person or non-conforming person in 2020. Then, on May 27, 2020 – only two days after the death of George Floyd – Tony McDade, 38, a black transgender man, was fatally shot in the Leon Arms apartment complex by a Tallahassee Police Department officer, following the fatal stabbing of Malik Jackson. McDade, who struggled with mental illness, was a suspect due to his own posting of a Facebook Live video that he would get revenge on men who attacked him the day before. According to the Tallahassee Police Department, McDade pointed a gun at police and the bloody knife used in Jackson’s murder was found at the scene. Some witnesses contradict the police statements that McDade was armed with a gun. Currently, no further investigation has come forth to determine any police fault due to the relationship McDade had to the victim’s mother, Jennifer Jackson, that led to the altercation with Malik Jackson and other male family members. The police pointed to McDade’s past criminal history which included a five-year prison sentence for armed robbery, and a violation of probation when police found McDade in possession of guns and drugs that led to another 10 years behind bars. That does not sit well with those who seek justice, including Love. “Does that automatically allow the police to kill a person they seek to apprehend?” asked Love. “If so, then the alleged perpetrator had no day in court. The police acted as judge, jury, and executioner.” We cannot sit back and allow this to continue. “Silence allows violence,” said Love.

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funds to rebuild inner city structures, such as education, counseling, and housing,” said Love. “Taking the money and using it to guide the inner-city youth when they are young instead of incarcerating them as juveniles and into a system few ever leave.” As an open lesbian, Love relates to the oppression. “When I lived in Indiana, and Pence was governor, I was denied entering into an establishment because I was with a girlfriend at the time,” said Love. “That was a time whereby people could freely say they could deny us service based upon our sexuality.” For Love, it is time for change. It is time to unify. Enough. “I felt like I had to be there at the peaceful protest, it wasn’t a choice for me,” said Love. “As a white, LGBTQ woman to say, ‘We stand with you.’ That I am an alley, and I will fight alongside you every step of the way.”

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BREAKING RULES PUBLISHING EMBRACE MAGAZINE PUBLISHER’S PICKS

Embrace Magazine publisher, John Sotomayor has been asked by Breaking Rules Publishing to oversee management of several of their LGBTQ+ authors around the world. Sotomayor hand selected several page-turners for your consideration as you seek your next must-read LGBTQ+ reading. Following the mission of Embrace Magazine, some of the books were selected because they were either collaborations between LGBTQ+ and straight authors, such as the Watervliet Short Story Collection, or were straight authors who wrote about LGBTQ+ themes or characters, such as J.P. Doolittle.

The Given Hand – a Messenger’s Journey

J.D. Norton Chronicles: Destiny

By Otto Throw and Sunny Fader

By KC Brinson CATEGORY:

Science Fiction, Fantasy Set in the year 2040, protagonist J.D. Norton is joined by Lucille Calhoun and Lady Renee Grey in rebellion against a corrupt one world order that has brought humanity to the brink of destruction. A riveting political thriller that has an ominous foretelling of what could happen if power becomes absolute.

The Two Sides of the Same Face By Arthur Padilla CATEGORY:

Mystery, Fiction Set in Santa Fe, New Mexico, protagonist Kris Medford faces more than she bargained for after accepting a job to run a small family foundation. Medford unwittingly enters a secret worldwide underground organization whereby she must confront powers larger than herself, as well as her own internal struggles.

CATEGORY:

Fiction, Drama, Suspense A spell-binding story of Otto Throw and how his special, spiritual and sometimes problematic Gift has shaped his life. It chronicles the challenges he faced as he learned how to live with, and ﬁnally harness his rare Gift, and what the knowledge he gained in the process can mean to us all.

Available on Amazon.com and BreakingRulesPublishing.com

Falling in Love with a Dying Man

Watervliet Short Story Book Project

By Rick Harmon

By: Maria Munson, Katelynn Sutherland, Bailey Williams, Kaylee Chapin, Saarah Schaefer, and D.V. Simon

CATEGORY:

Bits N Pieces

Memoir, Romance

Edge of Change

By Spencer Munson

Harmon began this touching memoir after the loss of his soulmate, ﬁrst to let out some frustration and feelings pent up inside a good way to express himself, which then turned into a moving love story. He was then encouraged to put his thoughts in book form. It took 13 years to ﬁnish. Garnet Hirst, an award-winning playwright, turned Harmon’s memoir into a play.

By P.J. Doolittle

CATEGORY:

Short Stories A collection of fantasy short stories, Munson’s work contains elements of romance, magic, and healing through the love of others. About the author: Spencer Munson is from the small town of Watervliet, Michigan. Going by the pronouns: he/ she/they, Munson grew up surrounded by LGBTQ people, but never saw much in ﬁction that represented the people she knew and loved, including themselves.

CATEGORY:

Romance, Fiction

Short Stories

Barry Douglas was a homeless drifter, a petty thief who would busk for a few pounds when he could and steal a few when he couldn’t. On his own since age 14, Douglas had grown skilled at avoiding emotional entanglements of any kind. Seeking a bed at a homeless shelter north of England, Douglas meets a man who turns his world upside down.

The students of Watervliet High School, current and former, would like to thank all of those within their lives and that has let the creator endeavor that this short story collection become a possibility. Without the support of their families, their staff at Watervliet High School, the publisher of Breaking Rules Publishing Christopher Clawson Rule, and each other, none of them would have found this opportunity.

Available on Amazon.com and BreakingRulesPublishing.com

EMBRACE MAGAZINE PAYS TRIBUTE TO SIX LOCAL LGBTQ LEADERS IN NORTH

Leading theWay CENTRAL FLORIDA + ONE

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I N T R O D U C T I O N BY

J O H N S OTO M AYO R P R O F I L E S BY SA R A G I Z A

Once considered rural, North Central and Central Florida are blossoming with innovation centers, artists, entrepreneurship and social change that compete on the same level with those established long ago in South Florida. The social changes include the increased visibility of LGBTQ people in mainstream everyday life. It did not happen overnight, and as usual, required a few fearless individuals to lead the charge making it easier for others to follow the way out from the shadows and into the light. Embrace Magazine conducted a search for local LGBTQ leaders who are currently leading the way within six primary centers of the North Central and Central Florida communities we service: Gainesville, Alachua County; Ocala, Marion County; The Villages; Lake County; Citrus County; and Orlando, Orange County. We selected one person from each location who best represented the leadership currently underway. Our search led us to one additional individual outside of our local area who impressed us so greatly, we had to include him as an honorable mention.

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Brandon Wolf

Originally from Oregon, Brandon Wolf of Orlando, never could’ve anticipated how relocating to Central Florida in 2008 would change the trajectory of his life forever. Working in politics wasn’t the plan. He had a successful career in business management for 13 years. A talented vocalist, his dream was to have a career in music. “I moved to Orlando, to sort of find myself,” Wolf said. He ended up finding so much more. In 2014, he met his best friend Drew. They instantly clicked, so much so that they chose to be neighbors and often traveled together. “I always tell people that Drew is like the protagonist in my story,” Wolf said, explaining that Drew really opened his eyes to viewing the world in a different way. “He was out, intersectional, had many degrees and was like the glue to the community,” he said. Later, Drew met his partner Juan. Wolf describes Juan as being a perfect fit for his friend. Wolf’s move towards social justice work came after the shooting at Pulse Nightclub. “The fact that stands out the most, is that I was actually there that night. Experiencing something like that, changes you,” he said. Wolf vividly recalls the details of that night. “It was a normal day for us in every way. It was laundry day. I asked them if they wanted to go get a drink.” “I was in the bathroom, washing my hands, when the shooting happened,” he said. He managed to escape out an emergency door with some strangers. “Drew and Juan, weren’t so lucky. They didn’t make it out,” Wolf stated. Describing the traumatic aftermath, he said “it’s as if you’re standing in the eye of a hurricane. Everything seems to be standing still, while outside everything is moving.” Several hundred people attended Drew’s funeral. “I had the honor of being a pallbearer. Walking down the aisle, my heart was beating and I was holding on really tight.” Wolf realized he didn’t know how to say goodbye. Then, he leaned down and whispered to Drew, “I will never stop fighting for a world you would be proud of.” It’s a promise he’s kept. Wolf is currently the Central Florida Development Officer and Media Relations Manager for Equality Florida. In July 2016, in honor of Drew, he founded The Dru Project, which sponsors LGBTQ student groups and provides college scholarships to future leaders. Nationally recognized for his work with the community and gun violence prevention, he’s published columns and spoken out in outlets including USA Today, HuffPost, CNN and MSNBC. In September 2019, he testified before Congress, at the request of Representative John Lewis. Chosen to be a National Surrogate by Senator Elizabeth Warren, he accompanied her on the campaign trail. All of this and more, in only four years. Wolf has endless things to be proud of, but when asked what stands out, he easily replied, “it happens every year, when I go through applications from students. When I read about the young people who started gay-straight alliances or the trans student who fought back for the right to use the bathroom. Being able to help give them an education, is something I’m incredibly proud of.” To date, The Dru Project has awarded $65,000 is scholarships. “There’s a Drew out there, who’s going to help people change lives,” he said.

In 2002, Peggy Garvin and her wife Wendy O’Donnell, began exploring options of where to retire. The two, who legally wed in 2015, have been together since 1991. After vacationing in The Villages, they decided it was the right place for them and relocated from San Diego. Garvin’s professional background is diverse. After teaching high school math, she transitioned to medical sales and management. She became an entrepreneur with her own business, Garvin Medical, selling orthopedic supplies. Her career pivoted

again, after working with Merrill Lynch. For the last 23 years, she’s been an independent ﬁnancial advisor, now operating under her own company Garvin Financial. “About 85% of my clients are from the LGBTQ community, mostly women,” she said. Regardless of The Villages reputation as being highly conservative, Garvin said the community is quite supportive. Yet, when they moved there, no clubs existed that were dedicated to LGBTQ+ individuals. Along with her wife’s help, Garvin set out to change that. In order to become an ofﬁcial sanctioned club of The Villages, certain criteria must be

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met, including attendance of at least ten individuals. In August 2007, 64 people showed up to the ﬁrst meeting of the Rainbow Family and Friends Club of The Villages. It has continued to grow. “The whole purpose was to bring us all together,” Garvin explained, adding that pre-COVID, they would meet every week at a country club, known as “Rainbow Thursday.” Along with the solidarity and socialization, the club raises money from various shows and dances, which is donated to charity. To date, they’ve donated a total of $171,000, to multiple causes including the Humane Society,

school backpack programs, the Human Rights Campaign and Equality Florida. In 2010, Garvin took over the local PFLAG chapter. She is currently the President of PFLAG Lady Lake, which meets twice a month as a support group and referral source for families. When asked what has motivated her activism, Garvin said “ﬁrst, I’m a woman and women like to help people. I’ve always been a leader, so I step up.” Garvin said that she’s most proud of, “getting things going. As well as Rainbow, because it’s an ongoing entity that will go on forever, helping LGBTQ people ﬁnd friends.”

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year, so people could get to know each other. In June 2018, close to the Stonewall anniversary, they held the county’s ﬁrst ever Pride event, not knowing what to expect. Surprisingly, hundreds of people attended. “It was really gratifying. We had people come up to us repeatedly during the event, saying ‘you have no idea what this means to me,’” Higgins said. They continued putting on events, including a National Coming Out Dance in October 2019. At the dance, a mother of a trans child approached Higgins and said, “I’ve never seen him so happy.” It’s moments like these, that continue to drive Higgins activism. In January of this year, he moved forward on incorporating Citrus LGBTQ Pride. They now have a seven-member board, bylaws and ofﬁcial IRS status. For Higgins, it comes down to “providing some kind of help that didn’t exist before; to have some ability and means to make someone less worried and afraid.” He also wants to acknowledge how critical it is to have support from our straight allies.

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Chuck Higgins

Chuck Higgins, President of both Citrus Pride and the Democratic Equality Caucus of Citrus County, had a very fulﬁlling career in public health at both the state and federal level for 36 years, including working under the CDC, prior to relocating to the area after retirement with his husband John Gileza. He described the move from the progressive urban area of D.C. to such a rural place, as stepping back in time. “It’s as if we’re back in 1969 and the Harvey Milk era,” he said, noting that all of a sudden he had to be afraid of holding his husband’s hand in public. Around three years ago, the local democratic party started making an effort to get the LGBTQ community involved in politics. Higgins was part of the effort to form a chapter that was made up of both LGBTQ individuals and allies. “Our ﬁrst realization,” he said, “is that you couldn’t jump straight to politics, until you actually have a community in rural areas. There are no gay bars or establishments to gather at here.” So, they shifted their focus towards creating social events each

After living for several years in San Francisco, Gainesville native Donn Smith-Lopez, returned with his husband Dr. Melvin Smith-Lopez, where they are currently raising two young toddlers. Donn Smith-Lopez has had a successful career in healthcare administration, including working with UF Health-Shands Hospital and teaching medical coding part time. He credits some of his community involvement to what he’s learned from working in healthcare, including the ability to “understand empathy, understand human nature and the right thing to do,” he said. Smith-Lopez has been active with Equality Florida, where he initially served as a secretary and is now in the middle of a six-year term on their statewide board of directors. He’s enjoyed the policy and decision-making process. “It’s been an amazing experience,” he said, of being on the board during “all of the major LGBTQ Supreme Court decisions, including marriage equality and job protections.” He’s also served on LGBTQ and civil rights task-forces, including the City of Gainesville Human Rights Board. With the Human Rights Council of North Central Florida, he worked diligently to help ban conversion therapy both in the city of Gainesville and Alachua County. Of conversion therapy, Smith-Lopez said, “it’s a very harmful practice of a medical professional, trying to change the innate identity of an individual. All of the laws that had passed were in major cities and none in northern Florida. We’re blessed to have a progressive government in Gainesville.” However, as he explained, the challenge would be the county itself, as it is overall smaller and more rural than others. “We spent a lot of time looking at ordinances in other states, to make sure the language was on a solid legal foundation,” he said, adding “it was really exciting to be the ﬁrst county in North Florida that passed it.” He is driven by the fact that “we can see real change, if enough people put willpower and ﬁnances behind it. We have seen huge advancements and mindsets change.” “If the work I do can inspire or motivate someone to put their efforts in, look at all the change we could make,” Smith-Lopez said.

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Executive Director of Taveres Chamber of Commerce, J. Scott Berry, was born in Sumter County. He moved to Jacksonville to pursue his Bachelor of Fine Arts degree and his love of theatre, including directing and producing shows. In 2001, he returned to Lake County, both to assist his mother and to reinvent himself. “My parents taught me that it’s an honor and privilege to support your community, in any way that you can,” Berry said. That stayed with him, when he owned J. Scott’s Skin Care & Day Spa in downtown Leesburg between 2005-2016. He was supporting his community economically as a business owner, while also

boosting his neighbor’s conﬁdence. “If you feel better about how you look, you feel better as a person,” he said. He gained great joy from helping teenagers who suffered from low self-esteem due to issues like acne. Berry takes a three-fold approach to his current position: advocate, promote and engage. As a former business owner, he wants to treat the local businesses and employees, in the same way he would’ve wanted to be supported. “I advocate for the business community, especially with funding right now during COVID and I really look at how I can promote our members in whatever market they have,” he said. He has served on many non-proﬁt boards over the years and in 2015, was awarded

Special Recognition for Community Service—the highest award in Lake County. He’s received many accolades but two really stand out to him. “To be recognized by the Florida Commissioner of Education, for our commitment to education in Lake County, was a pretty awesome experience,” Berry said. Secondly, every year, Leesburg has a large Mardi Gras event that serves as a two-month fundraiser. The king and queen are selected based on who raises the most money. After working the event for years, he decided to run for the title in 2010. To his surprise, he won that crown. “That means your community sees you and believes in you, enough to trust you with their money,” he said.

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J. Scott Berry

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Paula Smith

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Like many people, Paula Smith of Ocala, didn’t get the support she deserved when she first came out. “I grew up in a time, when it was considered very wrong to be attracted to the same sex,” she said. After coming out later in life, at the age of 33 years old, she lost a lot of so-called friends and even some family members. It wasn’t an easy journey for her. “For a long time, I felt like I didn’t belong,” she said. Then, she discovered Ocala Pride Inc. She became a member in 2015 and later served as Secretary in 2018. “Belonging to OPI, brought back a sense of having a family. A family of understanding,” she said. In November 2019, Smith was elected as President of Ocala Pride Inc. She wants to help others who have also had a difficult time, as well as help educate the public in that “we are just regular people too.” Holding a degree in Office of Administration, Smith worked in the field for 16 years. Now, she’s pursuing her love of art and embracing her creative abilities. As the owner and creator of The Vintage Gypsy Studio, she specializes in making OOAK original dolls and hand painted furniture. “My life is art and I am passionate about sharing it with the world,” she said. She is enjoying this wonderful time in her life, when she gets to live authentically as who she is, while also doing what she loves for a living. Smith is also a proud mother of three girls. Her oldest Brionna, is 24 years old and lives in Belleview, with her husband. Her 20-year-old daughter Marissa, lives in Clearwater with her girlfriend and at home is Smith’s youngest Lydiah, who is 11 years old.

No matter where you live, you’ll want to take note of Virginia based entrepreneur Justin Ayars. He’s launching an incredibly innovative idea that will surely benefit the LGBTQ+ community. Born into a family of artists and creatives, including his uncle Liberace, he initially chose a completely different direction. He was a trial lawyer and then a history teacher. Eventually, he combined both his intellect and creative abilities, when he founded Q Media, with the mission of promoting equality. This was achieved via a print publication focused on family friendly and impactful storytelling, maintaining a directory of inclusive businesses, a certification program for businesses and hosting events. Over the years, Ayars has done a lot of work with small businesses and been involved with many chambers on how to attract LGBTQ+ consumers. Now, he’s shifting into technology with Equality Rewards. “This company was born out of all the work done with small businesses,” he said, “until now, they didn’t know what this market actually wanted.” There have been surveys of what LGBTQ+ individuals said they would do with their money, but no hard data proving it. The Equality Rewards app, will work somewhat like “Honey” and be anonymous. Ayars discussed “rainbow washing,” the tendency for companies to throw a rainbow on something in June, to turn a profit. Working with a color code system, his app will show consumers which companies and brands are truly inclusive. It will also provide factual data on where we put our money. When consumers aren’t sure if a company is actually inclusive, after one quick look “they’ll be able to vote with their wallet instantly,” he said. He hopes that companies will look at the app and think “maybe we should become more inclusive.” Having a purpose is what drives him. “If I were to say it’s easy, I’d be lying. Doing anything on your own is a gamble. It’s the biggest risk you can take,” Ayars said. So far, every risk he’s taken has seemed to pay off, including having been asked to speak at the Lincoln Center on the 50th anniversary of Stonewall, on the economics of equality.

PHOTO BY: PROVIDED BY JUSTIN AYARS

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(Honorable Mention)

Justin Ayars

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We are Ashleigh and Porchea and we live in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Porchea is a 5 th grade teacher, and Ashleigh is a retail store manager and fulltime student. We met about thirteen years ago and were friends for three years before we realized that we should try a relationship together. Thankfully, we have been able to maintain the greatest friendship throughout our life together. Then, three years after dating in 2017, Porchea planned a surprise birthday dinner with my best friends where she proposed. After we left dinner, we stopped at a bar for a quick celebratory shot, and then a sweet ride home. When we arrived, there was an entire engagement celebration inside with all of our closest friends.

Porchea Sanders and Ashleigh Sneed at Will Rogers Park in Oklahoma City, OK.

WORDS BY AHELEIGH SNEED AND PORCHEA SANDERS PHOTOS BY KAYLA CAMPBELL, OWNER OF MEMORIES EXPOSED PHOTOGRAPHY

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Two mothers share their intimate engagement and pregnancy.

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Being surrounded by so much love throughout that entire night made everything that much more special. Porchea said it was necessary for her to propose because she wanted to continue living life with me, having fun with me, and also to start building a family with me. I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t agree more and I was so happy! We have not had our wedding yet because we do not want to rush things. We will plan the greatest wedding when the time feels right.

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Neither one of us ever wanted kids but, shortly after our engagement, it felt like the best thing for us to do. We made an appointment with a reproductive clinic here. Our first appointment was supposed to just be a consultation and them letting us know what our options were. We felt so comfortable with them and before we knew it, we became pregnant within a month. The process was easier than we could have imagined.

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We were directed to California Cryobank, which gave us so many options for starting our family. We took a week before we narrowed it down to our two favorite donors. Porchea and I wrote them down on a piece of paper and drew one out of a hat. After choosing a donor, our appointment was set for an artificial insemination. It was an extremely emotional experience. We didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to get too excited because what if it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take the first time? We were also hoping that we would be one of the lucky ones who got pregnant in the first round. And we did!!!! It was such a shock to the both of us.

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Pregnancy was long and hard but so worth it. The birth of our son, Hendrix, was the greatest day of both of our lives. We have learned how to love each other unconditionally because of the love that we have gained from Hendrix. We have also developed an entirely new level of respect and we make sure to show one another that at all times. Hendrix has been the best change that we didn’t know we needed. He is perfect and we wouldn’t trade him for the world’s best nap! We also have a dog named Brodie to help occupy our boy until the next

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baby comes.

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PHOTOGRAPHER: Memories Exposed Photography LINK: memoriesexposedphotography.com INSTAGRAM: @capturemyweddingmemories

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LG BTQ + L E G I S L AT I V E L E A P S

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Transgender Youth Medical Care Bans

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A close look at the so-called Vulnerable Children Protection Act, HB-1365/SB1864, otherwise more appropriately known as the Transgender Youth Medical Care Bans, and what this bill means to the mental and emotional welfare of genderdysphoric youth who wish to receive gender-aﬃrming medical care, made illegal by the bill. STORY BY KRISIE BELL BSN, RN

takes enormous courage to live unapologetically true to oneself. Likewise, the decision to transition to a gender other than the one assigned at birth is not one that is taken lightly by either the parents or the child. According to Stacy B., the mother of a transgender 17-year-old male, parenting a transgender child is a “long and complicated journey – and certainly not one that any parent would choose to hurdle. Ultimately, it is a commitment of love, respect, and acceptance for my child.” The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention conducted the Youth Risk Behavioral Survey in 2017, which revealed that approximately 1.8% of youth identify as transgender. Alarmingly, the survey also recognized that transgender youth have a profoundly higher risk of depression, suicide attempts (>40%), and sexual victimization when compared to their cisgender peers. Although this survey was conducted in only ten

states and nine large urban school districts across the U.S., it clearly supports a public health interest that should be further explored. HB-1365/SB-1864 was filed in January 2020 by the Bill’s sponsors, Senator Dennis Baxley (Republican, 12th District) and House Representative Anthony Sabatini (Republican, 32nd District). Succinctly, this bill cites that any medical services provided by a licensed healthcare professional “for the purpose of affirming the minor’s perception of the minor’s sex, if that perception is inconsistent with the minor’s sex, commits a felony of the second degree.” Additionally, a felony conviction would result in a loss of their medical license for providing medical services that aid a transgender teen (under the age of 18) in gender affirmation care. Sadly,

The palm of the hand of a young caucasian person with a transgender flag painted in it.

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KRISIE BELL has been a Registered Nurse in the Ocala area for nearly two decades. She is currently obtaining her Doctor of Nursing Practice degree through the University of Central Florida, and hopes to eventually specialize as a Primary Care practitioner for LGBT adults. She is married to her best friend, Andrew, and they share a blended (and chaotic) family of eight.

“We are not what other people say we are. We are who we know ourselves to be, and we are what we love.” – Laverne Cox, transgender Hollywood actress

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The American Association of Pediatrics believes that youth who identify as transgender should “have access to comprehensive, gender-afﬁrming, and developmentally appropriate health care that is provided in a safe and inclusive clinical space.” The Endocrine Society has announced their position on medical interventions for transgender and individuals as the standard of care, including hormone therapy and medically indicated surgery. Stephen Rosenthal, Medical Director of the Child and Adolescent Gender Center at the University of California San Francisco, states there is ample research supporting the reduction or resolution of mental health comorbidities in gender-dysphoric youth who receive gender-afﬁrming medical care.

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the AAP, prohibiting transgender youth from receiving hormone treatments has been shown to be detrimental to transgender youth’s mental health – yet those who underwent treatment to suppress puberty were less likely to ever consider suicide. HB-1365 and SB-1864 were withdrawn from consideration in March 2020 due to the shortened legislative session resulting from the onset of the coronavirus pandemic, however it remains unclear if Senator Baxley and House Representative Sabatini will pursue the bill next session. In the end, LGBT supporters must insist that best practice medical care not be restrained because of the conservative anti-LGBT agenda looking forward. Fortunately, advocacy does not require picketing or organized marches; Letters written to politicians expressing your viewpoint, or joining advocacy groups, can go a long way toward the cause. Please visit advocacy organization websites, such as the Trevor Project and Equality Florida Action, Inc., for ways to support transgender youth – and prevent harmful legislation, such as HB-1365 and SB-1864, from being passed in the future. —

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this bill is not unlike other present-day legislation filed in other conservative states, including Kentucky, South Dakota, Oklahoma, Missouri, Colorado, West Virginia, and South Carolina. Collectively referred to as Transgender Youth Medical Care Bans, Florida’s HB-1365/SB-1864 has been guilefully titled the Vulnerable Children Protection Act. Advocates for transgender medical care bans on minors proclaim that they are acting in the youth’s best interest, as they deem them not mature enough to comprehend the finality of their choices. Likewise, in an exclusive interview with Embrace Magazine, Senator Dennis Baxley has said that children need protection from “issues that the parents have, and imposed into that situation – they have to be protected from their own family in that setting.” Baxley goes on to reference the infamous scenario in Texas in which divorced parents disagreed on whether their 7-year-old child, born a male, was indeed a transgender female. Opposingly, critics of this type of legislation cite the policy statements of professional medical associations, including the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the Endocrine Society. These medical organizations state that gender-affirmative care that aligns with best medical practices should be provided to serious candidates, so long as it takes into consideration the individual’s physical and cognitive development. Not surprisingly, according to

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Celebrating Alan Turing and the Bletchley Park codebreakers whose work altered the outcome of WWII, and later, crusaders of his legacy helped alter the law against homosexuality in England. STORY BY STEVE PAFFORD

LONDON, ENGLAND - JUNE 21, 2015: SLATE STATUE OF MATHEMATICIAN ALAN TURING AT BLETCHLEY PARK, BLETCHLEY, MILTON KEYNES, BRITAIN

t’s no exaggeration to say that Alan Turing was a genius and one of the most influential figures of the 20th century. Yet, even if you have only the vaguest idea of who this very English hero is his work continues to permeate modern life throughout the world in the 21st century too. Regarded as the father of computer science and artificial intelligence, the pioneering polymath made vital contributions to the fields of mathematics, chemistry, and biology. Most famously, he played a crucial role in cracking the Nazi’s Enigma code at Bletchley Park, the principal nerve centre for Britain’s codebreakers in the Second World War, which helped defeat the Nazi’s Enigma machine and shorten the war by at least a couple of years. To anyone brought up in the over-sharing social media age, the cloak of silence which surrounded a site so steeped in assiduous world history seems almost unbelievable. There

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were thousands of people who worked at Bletchley that due to their signing of the Official Secrets Act had taken their secrets to the grave. Indeed, such was their loyalty that Prime Minister Winston Churchill referred to the staff as “the geese that laid the golden eggs and never cackled.” With the publication of 1974’s The Ultra Secret discussion of Bletchley’s work finally became possible. Being a Bletchley boy myself I and many locals knew someone who had an association with the site, which included notable names such as James Bond creator Ian Fleming. In the ‘90s, Bletchley Park became a museum, open to the public and housing interpretive exhibits and rebuilt huts as they would have appeared during their wartime operations. It receives hundreds of thousands of visitors annually. It’s a massive site and ideally needs a full day to begin to do it justice. The huts and larger reinforced concrete blocks are scattered round the grounds, which are dominated by beautiful Buckinghamshire parkland with a large lake with a fountain and Victorian Gothic mansion beyond. The exhibition in block B is probably the most important part of the site and this needs at least an hour if not two hours to do properly. The Enigma machine and a reconstruction of a Bombe machine which was used to decipher the Enigma messages stand proudly in the basement and are quite a sight to savor. There is, of course, ample information about Turing, the brilliant mathematician who was head of the Naval Enigma Team in Hut 8 and designed the first Bombe. Turing revolutionised the field of cryptography, conceived the computer as we know it today, and invented the academic discipline of computer science, The small display showing some of his personal belongings such as his teddy bear sourced from his family was a lovely touch and reinforces what a human tragedy was to befall him. One of the earliest openly gay figures in 20th Century Britain, the post-war story of Turing is a terribly sad and cruel one, and a damning indictment of the pervasive attitudes to homosexuality

at the time. Despite his essential contributions to the allied victory against Nazi Germany, his country repaid him with a prosecution for gross indecency that led to his apparent suicide in 1954 at the age of 41. The homophobic offense of gross indecency was introduced in 1885 and used to prosecute adult men for a whole range of “consensual, private homosexual acts” when it could not be proven they’d engaged in buggery. This meant that any sexual contact between men—including mere touching and kissing—was deemed illegal. Like Oscar Wilde before him, Turing was charged and convicted of the crime, and sentenced to chemical castration, the shame and consequences of which led to his death, deemed suicide from cyanide poisoning in 1954. Finally, in the 21st Century Turing’s legacy has been become the stuff of legend. He has been em-

PHOTOS BY: EQROY

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View of Bletchley Park, the building complex where codebreakers worked with Alan Turing during Worl War II to develop the Enigma machine and early computers.

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braced as a hero by the gay community, and thanks to Tony Blair’s reforming government, in 2003 gross indecency and buggery were repealed, and as a result, for the first time in 470 years, England and Wales had a criminal code that did not penalize homosexuality. Northern Ireland and Scotland reluctantly followed later on, but it seems barely believable that gay sex ceased to be a crime in the UK as a whole only seven years ago. After public figures such as Stephen Fry and Pet Shop Boys lobbied the government, the Queen also issued a royal pardon for Turing’s ‘crime’, finally wiping clean his record. Benedict Cumberbatch, who portrayed him in the film The Imitation Game, told the Hollywood Reporter that “Alan was not only prosecuted, but quite arguably persuaded to end his own life early, by a society who called him a crimi-

nal for simply seeking out the love he deserved, as all human beings do.” Turing is not only a national hero, but a local hero and a personal hero to me in so many ways. Soon he will even be honored as the new face of the £50 note, the highest value bank note in Britain. There’s also the Pet Shop Boys’ A Man From The Future, an ambitious song-cycle that focuses on key episodes of Turing’s life and work. Of course, the irony is that had he lived in the future, that part of his story would not have had such a tragic outcome. — STEVE PAFFORD is an English journalist, actor and author of the acclaimed book BowieStyle. Having trained from the ﬂoor up in UK music titles Q, MOJO and Record Collector, he’s had his work featured in a wide variety of British, American and Australian media including the BBC, CNN, The Independent and the New York Times. Steve divides his time between Australia and the south of France.

A concept image of what the banknote could look like. Image: Bank of England

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ART&CULTURE The King and Queen of rock ‘n’ roll, Little Richard

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STORY BY STEVE PAFFORD

t seems like another day, another hero lost. One of the most colorful performers in history, rock ‘n’ roll pioneer Little Richard, died in May. He was 87. What is left to say about Little Richard that he has not already said better himself? “I am the innovator! I am the originator! I am the emancipator! I am the architect! I’m rock ’n’ roll!” he once told an interviewer, before adding, “Now, I am not saying that to be vain or conceited.” No, Little Richard – born Richard Penniman in Macon, Georgia was just being honest. And a bit vain and conceited. As a child, he was mocked for having one leg shorter than the other, which drastically impacted his gait, and ridiculed for his effeminate appearance. The homophobic bullying bred a massively competitive streak in him, driving Richard to outdo everyone in every endeavor he could. Richard once said, “Rhythm and blues had an illegitimate baby and we named it rock ’n’ roll.” That may sound far-fetched but it is a fair summary of what happened in America in the early ‘50s, where it is often said that Ike Turner was its inventor, Chuck Berry its undisputed father and Little Richard anointed as its architect, usually by himself. But like the USA, no one person was the founding father of rock ’n’ roll, which was actually black slang for having sex. Its conception was

a cross-pollination that irrevocably altered popular music by introducing black R&B to white America, shattering the color line on the music charts, and bringing what was once called “race music” into the mainstream. Years before he created Tina, Turner was responsible for weaving a mixture of boogie-woogie stomp, traditional blues and white hillbilly music into a cohesive new order. And years before anybody thought in terms of a rock ’n’ roll record, there he was leading his own Kings of Rhythm on Rocket 88, a game changing single that had been recorded in Memphis in 1951. Sam Phillips, founder of the local Sun Records and the man who discovered Elvis, considers 88 to be the first rock record. Even Little Richard admitted to basing his piano style on Turner’s performance. So if Little Richard did not invent rock ’n’ roll then he most certainly reinvented it. With his piercing wail, hyperkinetic piano playing and towering pompadour, he was by far the most daring, the most outré of all the early rockers, the one that personified its mutinous outsider appeal. His unfettered flamboyance, showmanship and sexual expressiveness made him an implausible sensation — a trailblazer and trendsetter celebrated across America during McCarthyism and the buttoned-down Eisenhower era. He was also gay, gifted and black.

Little Richard playing at the halftime show

PHOTO BY: BRUCE YEUNG

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Signing his first record deal in 1951 with RCA, talent whisperer Johnny Otis recalled seeing Richard this way: “I see this outrageous person, good-looking and very effeminate, with a big pompadour. He started singing and he was so good. I loved it. I remember it as being just beautiful, bizarre, and exotic, and when he got through, he remarked, “This is Little Richard, King of the Blues,” and then he added, “And the Queen, too!” I knew I liked him then. He was new to a lot of people, and they were just saying, “Boy, that’s something else.” Omnisexual, alien and very ahead of his time, Richard was outrageously camp and tremendously popular with both sexes and all races, and the concerts often ended with black and white youths dancing together. In segregated America, this was dangerous stuff. But it was not just his bristling energy that made him one of the greats. Richard’s feral woo! conflated the spiritual and the orgasmic in a way that changed the way musicians communicated desire forever. As Jimi Hendrix put it, “I want to do with my guitar what Little Richard does with his voice.” In the ‘60s, Richard would repay the favor by putting him in his band and stalking the guitarist sexually, even fining Hendrix for daring to upstage him by wearing frilly shirts. With unchecked megalomania Richard told him in no uncertain terms, “I am the only one allowed to be pretty.” Like a demand to join the party which can’t be refused, when Tutti Frutti landed like a hand grenade in the charts of 1956, Richard delivered it fully charged with electricity, highlighted by his incendiary call of “wop-bop-a-loo-bop-a-lop-bamboom!” and ignited radios across the country. Everything was outrageous. The hair, the flair, the make-up, the scream. One can only try to imagine what these otherworldly just-over-twominute explosions of raw, visceral lust sounded like when everything was Mom’s apple pie and Rock Hudson and Doris Day, especially when the lyrics were that filthy and butt-heavy, with Richard gushing wildly about a dude’s glutes. It is a miracle how those songs even made it onto vinyl. It is also timely to remember how, once outside New Orleans, black performers would often be pulled over by cops barely concealing their racism. If the musician did not look at the floor and say ”yassuh”, the officer might show them the bullets in their guns and tell them “you know how much

it would cost to kill you? A nickel.” Some things don’t change too much, sadly. In his personal life, he wavered between raunch and religion, alternately embracing the Good Book and outrageous behavior topped off with the sky-high hair, make-up and glittery suits, yet struggled to maintain his hit making capacity when more palatable white straight boys like Elvis Presley took the genre over. But if there’s one other thing we have learned in this year of death and destruction, it is how Little Richard was indeed the architect of much of what followed. The Beatles learned their ecstatic falsetto twists and shouts from him, not Elvis; James Brown said he was “the first to put the funk in rhythm;” David Bowie described his impact as “I had heard God,” while Elton John added that once he heard him, he “got it”. Look at the androgynous album cover of Prince’s Parade - the psychosexual convolutions of the Purple One at his most mascara-lined pencil-moustached pomp are impossible to imagine without Little Richard leading the way. The world had never seen the like before – and, good golly Miss Molly, we won’t again. — STEVE PAFFORD is an English journalist, actor and author of the acclaimed book BowieStyle. Having trained from the ﬂoor up in UK music titles Q, MOJO and Record Collector, he’s had his work featured in a wide variety of British, American and Australian media including the BBC, CNN, The Independent and the New York Times. Steve divides his time between Australia and the south of France.

Little Richard posing at celebrity event — Little Richard star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Hollywood, California on Dec. 6, 2016.

PHOTOS BY: VICKI L. MILLER ; HAYK_SHALUNTS

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Jean & Chloe: Secrets of Fox Hills Drive One of the most enduring romantic relationships in Hollywood history was between a silent screen actress and a Broadway showgirl.

he relationship between former silent screen actress Jean Acker Valentino and Broadway showgirl Lillian Chloe Carter lasted over 50 years. Born Harriet Ackers on October 23, 1893, in New Jersey, Harriet changed her name to Jean Acker and began appearing in vaudeville in the early 1910s. By 1918 she was in motion pictures. The young woman soon caught the eye of actress Grace Darmond, who became her mentor and lover. Jean was featured in such silent pictures as

Checkers (1919), The Round Up (1920) with “Fatty” Arbuckle and See My Lawyer (1921) with her former lover Grace Darmond. Eventually Jean began a brief affair with Russian actress Alla Nazimova. Nurtured by Nazimova, Jean was part of the “Sewing Circle,” a group of lesbian and bi-sexual women forced in that era to hide their secret lives. At such a gathering Jean met struggling actor Rudolph Valentino. They married in November 1919, their wedding night a disaster. Jean locked her bridegroom out of their hotel bedroom, and the marriage was never consummated. (Jean later

“Jean Acker Valentino, c. 1934. Her home at 2146-2148 Fox Hills Drive held the secrets.

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confided to Patricia Neal that Rudy had gonorrhea.) Fleeing back to Grace Darmond, Jean eventually divorced Rudy in 1922, keeping the name Jean Acker Valentino. She lost her savings in the Crash of 1929. By 1930 she was broke and began taking bit and extra roles in films. Lillian Chloe Carter was born June 21, 1903, in Tennessee. In New York she had danced in the chorus of three editions of “The Ziegfeld Follies.” Under the name Cleo Cullen, she was part of the ensemble in innumerable shows in the Roaring 20s. During the run of “She’s My Baby” in 1928 Chloe met songwriter Harry Ruby, who penned such hits as “Who’s Sorry Now?” (1923), “I Wanna Be Loved by You” (1928), and “Three Little Words” (1930). They wed in 1930. Eventually Chloe filed for divorce from Ruby, and it was granted in 1934. She told the court Harry had struck her. This was corroborated by her one witness, Jean Acker Valentino. Jean and Chloe by now were lovers. In a period when women in same-sex relationships could not maintain high film profiles, both kept working as extras or bit players from 1933 to 1950. Jean was such pictures as Camille (1937) and A Star is Born (1937). Chloe danced in musicals such as The Broadway Melody of 1936 (1935), The Great Ziegfeld (1936), The Wizard of Oz (1939). They purchased a two-story home at 2148 Fox Hills Drive near 20th Century-Fox. Both loved dogs and raised dachshunds and Scottish terriers over the years. Eventually they divided their home into a duplex to supplement their income, theirs 2146 Forest Hills Drive, and as a rental 2148. In the mid-40s until 1948, 2148 was rented by Tyrone Power for his lady love actress Linda Christian. Arriving into Hollywood with a Warner Bros. contract, 22-year-old Broadway actress Patricia Neal rented the recently vacated 2148 when her second film The Fountainhead (1949) began shooting. Jean and Chloe spent hours with the young actress sharing their Hollywood stories and advising her the pitfalls of the industry. In 1942 Chloe received a beautician license, as she and Jean continued their extra work at the studios. Patricia eventually introduced them to her lover actor Gary Cooper. Though public socializing was kept to a minimum, Patricia had studio arranged

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dates with such actors as Kirk Douglas and Farley Granger. Gary, however, was married and had a young daughter. “Jean and Chloe were the only ones who knew the truth,” Patricia once candidly remarked. “They never questioned our relationship, and Gary and I never questioned theirs. We quietly cheered each other’s team, knowing we were all in murky waters.” When Patricia was forced to film The Hasty Heart (1950) in England, Jean and Chloe were the “go-between” for her and Gary, keeping him company while she was away. However, Cooper was Catholic, and there would be no divorce from his wife. And then tragically Patricia and Gary became pregnant. They knew it would ruin both their careers. In October 1950, Chloe and Gary

Film actress Patricia Neal and Chloe Carter in Hollywood, 1964. Patricia was filming at Paramount for Otto Preminger’s In Harm’s Way.

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Gary Cooper and Patricia Neal in The Fountainhead (Warner Bros., 1949). Their tragic love affair nearly cost them their careers.

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Chloe Carter, c. 1934. She still danced, and in some of Hollywood’s most classic 1930s musicals.

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The legendary Rudolph Valentino (1895-1926), the “Great Lover” of the silent screen. Jean and he remained friends until his early death. His desk to Jean now sits in the author’s home.

drove Patricia to a seedy area of Los Angeles and Patricia slipped into a doctor’s office. “The three returned to Fox Hills Drive,” I wrote in my biography Patricia Neal: An Unquiet Life, “where she and Gary spent the rest of the afternoon weeping together on the floor, Jean and Chloe bringing in a pillow and blanket for them to rest upon.” At the end of the affair Patricia Neal left Hollywood and returned to New York where she met and married writer Roald Dahl. She did not contact Jean and Chloe for many years. Her duplex, 2148, was subsequently rented to actor Lex Barker. He had just divorced actress Arlene Dahl. Before he wed his next wife Lana Turner, while away filming,

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2126-2148 Fox Hills Drive in the 1940s. The mysteries it contained were many.

Barker sent cards to his dog Monique, asking her to be good to her “Aunt Jean” and “Aunt Chloe.” Jean and Chloe were eventually contacted by Patricia in late 1955. As I wrote in my book, Patricia Neal: An Unquiet Life, Patricia wrote why she had not written them before, “…you must understand how painful that period was for me and how closely – unfortunately – you were connected in my memory.” Patricia would remain in touch with them until their deaths, through the birth of the Dahl children, the tragedies of Theo’s accident, Olivia’s death, and Patricia’s illness, and beyond. Patricia once lovingly said how Chloe was always very much “the actress” and she would subtract ten years off her real age. Jean had spoiled Chloe, even generously allowing Chloe the admiration of attractive young men. The two women were devoted to and loved each other until their deaths. Jean Acker Valentino died on August 16, 1978, and Chloe was made executrix of her estate. Before her death on October 28, 1993, Chloe had purchased the adjoining plot next to her beloved Jean, and there her ashes are laid to rest. Their graves are located at the Holy Cross Cemetery in Culver City, both marked with matching “White Rose Cross” block headstones.

STEPHEN MICHAEL SHEARER is a film historian and Hollywood biographer. Shearer is the author of Beautiful - The Life of Hedy Lamarr (Thomas Dunne/St. Martin’s Press-Macmillan, 2010) and Gloria Swanson - The Ultimate Star (Thomas Dunne/St. Martin’s Press-Macmillan, 2013). As a film historian he has appeared in numerous television and feature film documentaries including Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story. The feature film An Unquiet Life, based on his first book, stars Hugh Bonneville, Keeley Hawes and Sam Heughan (as “Paul Newman”), and is to be released at the end of 2020. He will soon be seen in an upcoming feature documentary entitled Boulevard: A Hollywood Story based in part on his third book on Swanson. Prior to his life as an author, Shearer did live and print modeling extensively in Minneapolis, Tulsa, Dallas, and New York. He did extra and under-five work in numerous films and television shows such as Split Image (1982), Handgun (1982), The Cotton Club (1984), and various episodes of Dallas (1981-82), and Central Park West (1995). Over the years he has appeared in numerous community and off-Broadway theatrical productions, such as Luigi Januzzi’s “The Appointment” in New York which won the Samuel French Award in 1994. Shearer has written film and film book reviews published in national publications, and he contributes research to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences Library. Shearer resides in Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota, and is currently working on two new books.

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Halo-Halo from the Philippines Take your man to Manila and Puerto Princesa for a vacay ﬁt for a queen.

STORY AND PHOTOS BY MIKE FALLON

n late February of this year my travel marathon came to a halt that was as abrupt as an airplane landing in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, where the runway is often tagged as the most dangerous in the world with a difficult approach that creates a cringe worthy landing situation that involves quick maneuvers and even faster braking. During the months leading up to America’s (and the global) lockdown, I was able to check a few destinations off my bucket, but my most memorable was a ten-day journey across the Philippines – complete with some disruption from an historic eruption. Our first landing spot was the capital city of Manila: a hectic, complex Asian megalopolis with all the sights, sounds and smells you would imagine. The journey from the airport to our Airbnb apartment was only nine miles, but took around an hour due to painfully thick traffic. As a tradition, our first day of vacation included a not-so-hectic agenda that allowed us to acclimate to our surroundings, and, in our opinion, the best way to do acclimate includes lots of food and alcoholic beverages! Manila is home to myriad of Pilipino restaurants, but like every good tourist, our first dinner was from the ubiquitous Jollibee fast food restaurant, where $2-$3 US will feed you like a

Views of Pasig River and Manila from Fort Santiago

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Performance Interrupted A trip to Asia isn’t complete unless you belt out a few songs at a karaoke club (also known as a KTV in this part of the world), so we rented a personal room for our group and began to enjoy snacks, drinks and sang few of our favor-

ites until our funfilled night came to a sudden halt. During the middle of “hit me baby one more time” the local volcano, Taal, decided to erupt causing what felt like a semi-truck hitting the twenty-story building where we sang the night away. Jolted and confused, within minutes emergency alerts on our phones began sending instructions for sheltering and staying indoors to avoid breathing the volcanic ash. The night turned eerie as the metro area population of almost 12 million people began a frantic hunt for face masks and supplies. Because of Taal’s ongoing eruption and tremors, we had to stay indoors on our final day in Manila. So, what is there to do indoors in one of the largest cities in Asia? Shopping! Manila is home to some of the largest shopping malls in the world including the SM Mega Mall at a whopping 3.6 million square feet. At SM Mega Mall you’ll find everything from clothing to electronics and at every price range and long with numerous fine dining restaurants as well as budget-friendly food court options. If haggling for handicrafts and knock-offs are your style,

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queen. Just ignore your childhood dining rules and order fried chicken, a cheeseburger, and some spaghetti! Yes, all of the above is on the menu and Jollibee. After dinner we ventured to a massive entertainment bar called One 690, and that’s when our low-key evening turned into an energetic experience complete with impressive musical acts, high-quality drag queen performances, and scantily clad dancers who performed into the wee hours of the morning. Cut to Jollibee visit number two… Oops! As a history buff, my next stop was at the impressive Spanish-era district of Intramuros, which translates to “within walls” and is home to numerous colonial buildings and the massive sixteenth century Fort Santiago that overlooks the Pasig River and modern-day Manila skyscrapers. A stroll around the narrow streets isn’t complete without ice cream or halo-halo, a delicious mixed fruit dessert. Both are easy to find from a number of street vendors. As we exited Intramuros we began to question a haze in the air and a sandy feeling in our hair, but we wouldn’t know why for a few more hours.

Performers at a typical mega-club in Manila Volcanic ash from local volcano, Taal

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Mike Fallon at Puerto Princesa Subterranean River National Park, island of Palawan, Philippines Mike Fallon, front, and friends Jesus SerraPerez and Michelle Mechan, on boat to Underground River.

head over to Greenhills mall with a few pesos and you can leave with some hand-made carvings or maybe a “Bucci bag.” After a short flight out the hustle and bustle of Manila, we landed in the city of Puerto Princesa on the world-famous island of Palawan. Not only is Puerto Princesa touted as the cleanest and greenest city in the Philippines, it is the home to the one of world’s longest subterranean rivers, which is one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World. The Puerto Princesa subterranean river is locat-

ed where a karst limestone mountain landscape meets an opening to an underground segment of Cabayugan River. The river winds through the cavern system before flowing into the West Philippine Sea and is accessible by a small boat. Not for the claustrophobic, the boat tour lasts about 45 minutes with only hand held flashlights illuminating the impressive stalactites and stalagmites, bat colonies, and the impressive 1,180 ft. long Italian’s Chamber, one of the largest cave rooms in the world. After a day at the Subterranean River

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Mike Fallon observing from tower at Fort Santiago

National Park, you can spend days traveling the island of Palawan to visit some of the world’s best beaches such as El Nido, Duli, and Secret Lagoon Beach. As I reminisce about one of my favorite travel experiences, I can’t avoid wondering how countless tour guides, restaurant servers, taxi drivers, hotel staff, and shopkeepers are handling the current pandemic along with the lack of tourism dollars they are so very dependent on. I truly hope that as soon as we are able to safely travel the world that

my stories will inspire you to take a journey, share experience with family and friends, and happily support the hundreds of thousands of people around the world who work in the travel and tourism industries. — MICHAEL FALLON is a business professor at Beacon College in Leesburg, Fla., and an avid traveler. He spends about three months per year traveling the world, and has visited all Seven Wonders of the World. He’s been to nearly 80 countries, and around 60 UNESCO World Heritage Sites.

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Exit from Underground River, Puerto Princesa, island of Palawan, Philippines

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Food Trends: Pandemic Self-Care What you eat can prevent depression

Shrimps and their preparation in a pan with Brussels sprouts. Delicious and healthy nutrition.

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December of 2019, most of us probably held out quite a bit of hope for the upcoming New Year. Indeed, 2020 held more promise than a peaceful sunrise over South Beach. People all over the world hoped to welcome in our new decade, one that would perhaps see an end to starvation and poverty in Africa, changes in the long-time tradition of child marriage in India, and a positive, potential shift in America’s leadership. Early on, as news of the global pandemic hit us, an unprecedented situation unfolded. Confusion and mild panic set in. Misinformation spread, and while we were being told the outbreak was a “hoax,” other countries acted. Hoax or not, the pandemic has eclipsed all other happenings across our planet, and we have been sent into a vortex of emotional, physical and financial trauma. We were told to “self-quarantine,” and the term “social distancing” was coined. While introverts don’t particularly mind staying away from social situations, or any kind of crowd, for that matter, most of us took our new way of life almost as a banishment. Even if one isn’t exposed to the virus, there is still an imminent danger to our health and wellbeing. Described multiple times via social media as “a prison sentence,” the COVID-19 lockdown has caused many of us to gain weight, experience anxiety, and fall deeper into depression, just to name a few side effects. For now, we can’t go to the club, host a house party, or attend a poolside Tea Dance, but the LGBTQ community has never been short on creativity or determination. While we may not be able to mitigate or even understand what to do about the effects of COVID on the outside world, the good

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STORY BY R. JILL FINK, MFA

news is that we can come up with endless ways to improve our own health and home environments while practicing self-care. You may be thinking, “So, what does self-care entail? Do I have to make my own yogurt and learn yoga?” While both yogurt and yoga could certainly help some of us, self-care is simply putting yourself first when it comes to your mental and physical health. It’s about honoring your body and mind, respecting yourself enough to take some time to care for the organs and bones you own. This can start with simply eating better. Veggies and fruits

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94 are, of course, a much better choice than a bag of chips and a pint of gelato. The list below can get you started, but there’s no limit if you use your imagination and some Internet search skills. • Plan meals ahead of time to ease stress and allow better choices • Get a bit creative and use a vegetable spiralizer to make noodles without the guilt • Use spices and herbs to boost flavor as well as antioxidant benefits of each meal • Love your gut! And by that, I mean give it natural yogurt, oat bran, almonds, walnuts... • Seeds and nuts happen to be a great source of heart-healthy fats, fiber, and protein • Eat smaller meals, but regularly, throughout your day to keep your metabolism kicking • Added sugar adds to the problem, so try to keep this below 25-30 grams per day • Turn off technology, slow down, and maybe even light a candle during mealtime • Don’t forget the water...dehydration can cause exhaustion, headaches and a lot worse Studies have shown that when we shy away from refined and processed foods and our diet is full of vegetables, fruits, seafood, and unprocessed grains yet light on lean meats and dairy, our risk of depression can be 25 to 30% lower

than if we eat our “traditional” Western-world way. Unprocessed foods sometimes fall into the fermented category, such as delicious kimchi, sauerkraut and kombucha, and therefore act as natural probiotics. They can also boost our immune systems to help fight viral infections (take THAT, COVID-19!) as well as increase our Vitamin C intake. Another good way to implement a regimen of self-care is to make a list of things you like to do and can do for yourself. Focus on activities that are free or relatively inexpensive as this will keep the stress level low. Try taking a walk or enjoying a lovely avocado, uncooked oatmeal and honey facemask for 15 minutes. Scare the neighbors by doing both at the same time. Write yourself positive affirmation notes and hide them all over the house. While you’re writing, why not write an “old school” letter to a friend? Include a great recipe, a drawing, or maybe even a silly quarantine poem. Who doesn’t like to get stuff in the mail? This will not only boost your mood, but theirs as well. Take a dance break for a whole song. Host a one-person karaoke contest every Thursday, complete with healthy snacks and mandatory pajamas. Make a sheet fort under the dining room table for quiet reading and reflection once a week. You deserve the best life you can give yourself, so if you can make self-care an important part of each day, even if it’s just for a few minutes, you’ll notice improvements right away. You are worth it, and you should allow yourself the fun of doing it. We’re going to get through this, together, but we’ll manage to do so faster and come out healthier on the other side if we are stronger and more alive as individuals fighting for the same cause along the way. — The statements made in this article are in no way a replacement or substitute for professional care by a licensed physician. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please seek immediate help with your local doctor or call The Trevor Project at 866-488-7386 or the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255.

—

R. JILL FINK is a professional writer and artist from South Florida. She has lived in the Ocala area most of her life. She possesses two Master of Fine Arts degrees from Full Sail University; one in Media Design and one in Creative Writing.

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A Tree-mendous DIY Project Feeling cooped up and out of sorts due to the pandemic? Then get outdoors and spruce up that yard with expert landscaping advice from an Arborist and even AAA. STORY BY FRED W WRIGHT JR.

o tree or not to tree. That just may be one of the many questions for lawn-owners stuck at home by the pandemic and closed businesses. Perpetual four walls and a slim budget are perfect conditions for some DIY projects in and out of the house. For LGBTQ homeowners in Florida, there are additional motivations for keeping the yard and trees well-manicured. We’re still in the midst of our annual hurricane season. Dead limbs or dying trees are a hazard in any storm but especially so in the high winds and rain of a hurricane. So, what and where are your resources? Fortunately, GayPages.com offers an online directory of local contractors, doctors, attorneys and other skilled professionals. As GayPages.com notes, these businesses “...welcome your business. Since these people (may even) come into your home, you can feel safe knowing that they do not judge you based on your sexual orientation.” If you need a professional, “this directory can help you find a qualified individual ready to work with you.”

AAA Too There are numerous sources for tips on DIY landscaping, both short term and long term. The American Automobile Association (AAA) offers several practical tips on orienting yourself to the tasks ahead and deciding on which ones you want to take on. Lawn maintenance is the first step toward lawn

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landscaping, AAA says, and even achieving a long-wished-for lawn look. And AAA’s first stage of any landscaping project echoes the tips from Jim Weaver. Before you start working on your lawn landscape, create a rough sketch of how you want it to look. Actually, two sketches would be good – one showing how the lawn looks now and one how you envision it. Try to keep the drawings to scale so you can have an early idea of how the different elements of your lawn (and any garden that might be part of it) will work together. With this handy blueprint, you can foresee any potential issues before you start. While maintaining freshly trimmed, healthy grass is essential, the right landscaping and gardening techniques are just as vital, the AAA said. “Whether you’re starting to give your lawn a new look or just want a refresher, these techniques will help to make your yard look clean, attractive and welcoming,” the article said. One basic tip: Don’t cut your lawn too short. A lawn with too-short grass can actually provide an

“DON’T CUT YOUR LAWN TOO SHORT. A LAWN WITH TOOSHORT GRASS CAN ACTUALLY PROVIDE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR WEEDS TO GROW. INSTEAD, KEEP YOUR GRASS AT A HEALTHY, MANAGEABLE LENGTH.”

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One of the businesses found in the Tampa Bay area listed on GayPages.com is JAWS Tree Service based in Tampa, Fla. As owner J.A. “Jim” Weaver notes on his GayPages.com listing, “Your trees are valuable assets which cannot easily be replaced. Healthy trees can provide shade to your property and character to your landscape. In addition, well-informed consumers should know that the care of your trees should be entrusted only to an International Society of Arboriculture Certified Arborist,” Jim writes in his listing. So, Jim is not just “the tree guy.” He’s a certified Arborist with lots of sound advice for the DIYer. The first step, Jim suggests, is to inventory any trees in the yard. Look to see if anything looks, to a lay person, out of place. Once the list is complete, especially anything that looks dead or dying, contact an Arborist. “An Arborist will come and look and give advice on what needs to be done. He will do the same thing the homeowner did. He will use his observational skills (and) look for something that strikes an alarm for them,” he said. The advice will be free and will focus on what is safe for a lay person to do and what isn’t. The Arborist will give the customer lots of practical feedback and give a more proper evaluation of their trees, he said. Are limbs too close to house? Are there trees with no limbs? Things like growth at the base of a tree, such as mushrooms, that doesn’t look normal. Is the tree dead? If so, why? Are there signs of a lightning strike? “Trees don’t just up and die.”

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“MAKE SURE OF YOUR OBJECTIVE. TRIM WITH YOUR EYES. A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH TREE TRIMMING END UP WITH USUALLY A LOT MORE ON THE GROUND THAN THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.”

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opportunity for weeds to grow. Instead, keep your grass at a healthy, manageable length. “In addition, watering less frequently encourages grass growth over weed growth,” AAA suggests. Weeds can be the scourge of a good-looking lawn, and weeds definitely can be a regular DIY project. Most annual weeds can be pulled out by hand, but perennials with deep and tough root systems might necessitate a tool to dig them out. Finally, if you are an advocate of using fertilizer, be sure to apply just the right amount to the soil, typically in the spring and fall. These nutrients will enable the grass to grow up healthy and strong, but make sure not to apply too much. Be sure to rad the directions. For any do-it-yourself projects, safety is foremost, according to Jim Weaver. For example, he says he would never recommend a homeowner take on a task that requires the use of a ladder. “It wouldn’t be proper to tell someone to get on a ladder and trim a tree. It’s a dangerous line of work. You need to be very confident,” he said. In fact, a person working in his or her lawn needs “to use a lot of common sense. I’ve seen some non-common sense. “if you’re cutting something above your head, you need to be at least 90 degrees from what you’re cutting. If you’re inside that 90-degree cone, you’re in

trouble and you’re likely to be hit.” Another practical safety tip from Jim Weaver requires planning ahead with your eyes. “Make sure of your objective. Trim with your eyes. A lot of people with tree trimming end up with usually a lot more on the ground than they thought it would be.” And while pruning a tree may have good motives, it is also cheating a wound in the tree, Jim added. “If you’re pruning, you need to be thoughtful. You’re causing a wound on the tree. Cutting more isn’t better.” Finally, Jim makes a very insightful, Arborist observation. “The difference between a tree and a person, when we get a cut on ourselves, we heal. On a tree, it doesn’t regenerate. It doesn’t heal. Eventually, some form of decay will develop.” — FRED. W. WRIGHT JR. Is a full-time freelance writer based in Seminole, Fla. A generalist, Fred writes about a wide range of subjects, from business to ﬁlm, health to stress, history to senior citizens. Travel makes up about 75 percent of what he writes. His work has been published in numerous newspapers and magazines, including Tampa Bay Times (formerly St. Petersburg Times), National Geographic Traveler, Variety, Florida Trend, Bed & Breakfast Quarterly, and AAA Southern Traveler. He is a member of the Society of American Travel Writers (SATW).

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Perfect Form Openly gay, ﬁrst-time bodybuilder, Cory Freeman achieved back-to-back wins in his ﬁrst two competitions, setting the stage for professional status in his rookie year. BY J O H N SOTO M AYO R PHOTOS BY ASUN CAPALUNGAN

hen Cory Freeman, age 37, took the stage for the first time at the 2019 NPC Viking Championship at Cottonwood High School auditorium in his hometown of Salt Lake City, Utah, on the morning of August 10, 2019, he had no idea what to expect, or how the experience would go. A man who normally does not crave the limelight, the blinding spotlight of a major regional bodybuilding competition was a strange place to be. True to form, Freeman made the most of it. He hit his marks and struck his poses like a natural. He was a crowd favorite. A judge favorite as well. Lined up according to excellence in performance, Freeman knew he did well. By that evening he would find out how well. During the evening round, his division, the Men’s Classic Physique Master’s Over 35 returned to the stage to perform their 60-second posing routines, followed by the awards presentation. Free-

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man took first place in Master Over 35 in Men’s Classic Physique. This was his first bodybuilding competition ever. His nine-year-old son, Caleb, was in the audience. He described it as “one of the most exhilarating feelings one could have.” Go for Pro Freeman never aspired to compete in bodybuilding. A self-described “gym rat” Freeman initially worked out for much less lofty goals, and far more common pursuits. “I started working out in college to feel better about myself and attract girls,” said Freeman. “Later in life, I continued working out to be in shape and attract guys.” Freeman discovered there are many gay bodybuilders who compete. Some are closeted. Most are open. “I always used to say, ‘the gayest thing I ever did was eight years in the army.’ That is being rivaled right now with

“I always used to say, ‘the gayest thing I ever did was eight years in the army.’ That is being rivaled right now with bodybuilding.” ~ Cory Freeman

bodybuilding,” said Freeman. After winning his first competition on his first try, his coaches and supporters encouraged him to keep going. Prior to his first competition, Freeman found a competition prep coach, Chris Hayes from Florida, to help him achieve his dietary and supplement preparation for competitive bodybuilding. Freeman already had a strong background in health. He has a bachelor’s degree in physical education from Utah State University in Logan, and his doctoral degree in clinical physiotherapy from the University of Utah in Salt Lake City. He had a strong handle on exercise and training. Nutrition and diet on a competitive level however, takes specific knowledge. Hayes was one of the first to encourage Freeman to keep going while the momentum is hot. “After that first competition, I didn’t really have plans

Freeman’s nutrition coach Chris Hayes uses the Instagram handle @theklassicalguy. Freeman works as a physical therapist in the home health industry

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Freeman commends the comradery at competitions. “If someone is low on carbs, someone will always help out,” he said.

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Freeman has a fast metabolism. He eats a crazy amount of food just to maintain his size, and even more to grow. Every male partner he’s had has tried to keep up with Freeman, but they don’t get the same results. Freeman gains muscle. His partners … well, you know.

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102 of doing a second one,” said Freeman. He changed his mind after Hayes asked him, “you have taken first place in your first competition so you are eligible for a national show, why aren’t you taking advantage of this?” The ultimate goal of winning a national show is to gain your Pro Card so you are eligible to participate in the IFBB Pro shows to compete as a professional bodybuilder. “Having other people believing in me, more so than I believed in myself, that right there was the motivation that got me to that second show,” said Freeman. Freeman competed in his second bodybuilding competition in December 2019 in Los Angeles at the first annual NPC Masters USA, a national level show. To compete at this level, you have to take first or second place at a regional show. They are essentially all the winners from all the regional shows. “When you get backstage,

everyone looks amazing. You are with this higher level of bodybuilders. Everyone looks like they could win this show easy,” said Freeman. “It was exciting, but also a little humbling to be surrounded by so many people that have obviously devoted their lives to doing the same thing you have.” Like the regional show, his group did their routine in the morning and was placed according to rank. Freeman once again knew he did well. That evening, just like before, Freeman was awarded first place in his class. Once again, Freeman felt an overwhelming sensation of accomplishment when he heard his name and was handed the first-place trophy. He could not stop grinning if he tried. Unlike other shows, the NPC Masters USA only hands out one Pro Card, which goes to the person who wins the overall. Freeman was thrilled to take first place in his class, but ultimately, he wanted that

“So as a father, I want so badly to give my son the same experiences to see how other people live, and how others around the world are accepting of others.”

overall win for his Pro Card. There were four different classes, so Freeman was backstage with the winners of each class. The four performed on stage together. The judges awarded the overall title to the guy in the B Class. “It was one of those experiences where I am proud of myself for taking first place in a national show, this being my first national show and taking first place, it puts a fire under me,” said Freeman. “I was so close from taking the Pro Card and taking things to the next level.” While there was a little disappointment there, Freeman cannot walk away from that competition without a sense of achievement, knowing that he earned his place on that stage. That will always stay with him. #1 Dad Freeman met Caleb’s mom in college and married her in their senior year. He was about 25 years old at the time. They

Freeman’s weight in competition = 207 lbs.

were married for four years. “Although I knew I was gay from a very young age there were a lot of religious and social pressures to try and be straight,” said Freeman. They share custody. She and her new husband live in southern Idaho, roughly a three-hour drive. She has Caleb during the school year, and Freeman has him during the summer. They split weekends here and there. In 2018, Freeman remarried. “He and I were together for 5 years before we married, but within the first 6 months of marriage, it was apparent it was not going to work out,” said Freeman. “We ended up separating at the start of 2019 and the divorce was finalized around March or April of 2019. That was the same time I started getting serious about competitive bodybuilding.” Freeman grew up in the Mormon Church. As young Mormon men, they serve on missions. Freeman served his mission in Taiwan. He lived in

Taiwan for a couple of years and learned Mandarin Chinese. When Freeman returned to Utah, he minored in Chinese. “The lessons I learned while living abroad about life and people in general are so invaluable,” said Freeman. “So as a father, I want so badly to give my son the same experiences to see how other people live, and how others around the world are accepting of others.” A plan to travel Asia with his son has been postponed due

to COVID-19. In the meantime, Freeman plans on competing in the 2020 NPC Teen Collegiate and Masters Nationals in Orlando, Fla. October 12 – 15. This is another opportunity for Freeman to get a Pro Card. One of the unexpected joys of competition for Freeman was what his bodybuilding eventually evoked for his son, Caleb, now 10. Before competition, Caleb didn’t really comprehend what bodybuilding meant for his father. To Freeman, training for competition for his son, Caleb, was probably just another day with dad flexing his muscles. Now that Freeman is a twotime champion, Caleb tells his friends, “my dad’s a bodybuilder.” He gets it now.

That puts him in C Class. For his height class in the classic physique, he has to keep his weight below 212 when competing.

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Freeman’s height in competition = 5’11”

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Toss like a Boss STORY AND PHOTOS BY J O H N SOTO M AYO R

he 2nd annual Ocala Pride Inc cornhole tournament held at Tuscawilla Park on Saturday, March 7, 2020, was a complete success! Both as a fundraiser and social gathering, raising more than $500 and reuniting many good friends while adding more. The tournament brought laughs and cheers as approximately a dozen teams with funny names like Holee-licious, The Gaytors, The Williston Muffdivers, The Pink Mafia, Hold My Beer, and Copa’s Hole Hitters competed for the $100 prize and bragging rights. Everyone brought their A-Game. A memorable highlight occurred halfway through the tournament when Stacy Marra proposed to her Pink Mafia teammate Jackie Myrick. All present was in on the surprise as each person handed a rainbow rose to seated Jackie just before Stacy got down on one knee and proposed. After lunch, the tournament continued with Final Five: Gaytors vs Kats, Pink Mafia vs. Hold My Beer, and Hole-E-Licious advancing straight to the finals. Gaytors then defeated Pink

Mafia in a close match to compete against Hole-E-Licious on the finals. Gaytors won the tournament, making them back-to-back winners 2019-2020. Given they are consecutive winners in only two tournaments, The Gaytors are undefeated champions — riling up the competition for next year’s tournament. A good time was had by all, including several straight people at the park and performers on a break from the Reilly Arts Center who watched, and one woman who joined in as a walk-on making it to the semi-finals, as another woman paid membership to join Ocala Pride Inc after learning what the group was and enjoying the camaraderie.

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Embrace Magazine — The Heroes Issue

Articles inside

Perfect Form

Halo-Halo from the Philippines

Jean & Chloe: Secrets of Fox Hills Drive

The King and Queen of Rock n Roll, Little Richard

Codebreakers

Transgender Youth Medical Care Bans

Called to Move

On The Front Lines

I Got You Covered

Same-Sex Marriage and Finances

Remaining Spiritual During Crisis

Not Your Grandmother’s Victory Garden:

Transitional Difference

Vision 2020

Honoring Our LGBTQ Heroes