Beginnings No one ever talks about how beautiful loss can be. Loss is pain and heartbreak according to the dictionary, Loss is sitting with an empty phone and a mind fit to burst, Hearts knocking on the door of being put first. But beginnings and endings all look the same to me, There is growth and strength at the bottom of my cup of tea, As I drink it in solitude while staring at four walls, Sometimes it’s a blessing to never receive that call. It took me a lifetime to know that flowers still grow in the darkest of rooms, Yours are not a waste of water when they’re what help you bloom.
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- Charlotte Green (@Patronsaintofpoetry)
Temptation Tempted eyes, Lay waste to empty hearts, Leaving a trail of those they left behind. Bereavement and regret to them Is so benign. Tempting faces Draw too near, To break down bridges so hard to mend, Though that way It never does tend. Tempted touch You can’t ignore; The feelings felt, The thought is scorn.
Tempting time, And tempting place: So easy for you To run that race. Tempted talk You lure them in. Tempting me. Here we begin. Temptation.
- Aiden McCall
Beginnings Small and afraid and curled up in a ball, Growing out of the cracks of white painted bricks lining the yard of an old terraced house, Here I began. Holding my bones in a fight for survival, The years of gripped fingers, headaches behind eyes, Drained and estranged from any sense of a childhood, Here I became. Try and keep everything from spilling out, overflowing, Stitching up the sides of something that’s exploding, Exhausted and sour and desperately clinging, Here I survived. Traces still stick to the brick in the garden, Fragments of self I can never reclaim, And a feeling that’s tied to the sound of my name, Here I survive.
Ella Fradgley
Noon And sunflowers steal over rusted fences Pining for apathetic sun. I make like the flowers: Happily drowning in an oppressive yellow light. I call this a surrender. Today, I wish to melt. - Emily Fletcher (@emilywritespoems_)
Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder
Guilty Good morning? No Sun breaking its way through the unclosed curtains from the night before. Eyes longing to stay closed, Thoughts of it already overwhelming ‘it’s just a piece of toast’ They say but to me it’s a chore A public smile to avoid questions, Inner dread telling Cloudy noon, Maybe I can eat something with a spoon? ‘Soup’ is that all you’re eating? Little do they know the struggle to consume Food. 6 long hours of unnecessary thought, ‘I’ve eaten too much’ ‘A toilet so close’ ‘Please not today, no what if I’m caught’
Disjointed brain with body in pain, An embarrassment to the old me, ‘You’ve lost so much weight you look great’ ‘Taking pictures of yourself again, you’re so vain.’ No self esteem, no self worth, Organs screaming for help, I am in pain. 10pm bedtime? Sure Thoughts still racing for this daily chore, No energy again. Ha is that a surprise Same thing tomorrow? Indeed until I meet my demise.
- Sophia Wilson
Beginnings These feelings started l when I saw you over there, with your perfect hair. Unfortunately you were with her. So, really I shouldn’t care. But I can’t help to stare... - Joshua Banks
Love You wrote things down a lot, in the early stages. You wrote that, even though cards aren’t usually your thing, You just wanted to say that you loved my mind, And Merry Christmas. I built you a blanket fort, Scribbled down Dickenson, Yeats, made paper stars. You laughed and handed me a note that read, ‘I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.’ - Emily Fletcher (@emilywritespoems_)
Love is opening your heart digging your thumb into the centre Like it’s a tangerine and tearing a gawp into its flesh juice Streaming onto the floor saying eat. Love is smiling at her from the en-suite whilst she watches me Wee not in a piss-kink way just because why not. Love is finding you’re nothing left apart from a dehydrated rind. Love is wondering if our sweet-peas will ever flower after such a damp, sunless spring. Love is having certain psychic powers like always knowing where Her car keys are or the way she’ll hug me when I’m too afraid to ask. Love is calling eachother into the blooming garden and saying look, this one’s pink. Love is Love is Love is a tongue-twister I practice Every-day. - Lucy Butler (@lucyiskewl)
Love Hold a heavy head on my shoulder, Let her rest, Let her sleep, Let her breathe, Let her sink in the silence of a room just for you, Let her heal and recover and build back up the fight, Let it slip under covers, Let it roll out into my hands, let me take it, discard it, Let me unwind this trouble this torment this night, Let me help you find quiet, Please let things be alright. - Ella Fradgley
The feeling in between. The feelings in between, That barely ever fully gleam, Like a wrinkled top you steam, Like a polished shoe to gleam. The feelings in between, Just a little elbow grease does the job, Turn the heat up like the turn of a knob, The hot heat of a bubbling pan spitting from the hob, No longer desiring to be on my Tod. The feelings in between, Like the feel of sand between my toes, The smell of a home made curry up my nose, Like the refreshing sent of fresh clean clothes, Like the end of a fights fighters heavy blows. The feelings In-between.
- Kaylee, @cherriesncherryade
Prayer is daunting I don’t remember how to pray I don’t know if I ever really did But I assume it is as sacred as my skin on yours in the shower Maybe it’s just conversation Maybe I’ve been praying this whole time I remember praying to get chosen in heads down thumbs up in class 4 “Please God can I have a turn” Watching my breath fog up the table through a squinted eye I don’t ever remember praying in Church I think I was too bust looking at everything Or counting the ceiling panels during the bidding prayers I asked Mum about religion on a dog walk She said it was a comfort when her Dad died Nanny asks the Holy Spirit to look after me Actually she doesn’t ask, she just trustsI hear it every time she asks how I am, Knowing that whatever comes out of my mouth She trusts I will be looked after
She asks me to turn the big light off. - Gemma Bryant
Silence screams louder than a coffee shop midday. I’ll have a double shot to take the edge away. As thoughts rattle around. Amongst empty clouds; I can’t near to write down. I catch myself… Stuck in the place in-between, Like the moment when you’re just about to fall asleep. Your head drops and you catch yourself from falling from your seat. Weirdly, that is where I would like to lie awake, In the place without a name. - Aiden McCall
The moments after she woke were always sacred. She would prop her head up slightly with a pillow, Drift in and out of reality until it finally stuck. I want to say: I’m sorry if I ever rushed you. Tell me I am wrong in thinking You only got the worst parts of me. I used to say: promise me we’ll never shout again, love. Or if we must, let us be all the better for making up. These days, I beg everything again. But when the awful thing, the one thing you thought must break you, When it happens, and you don’t break, I think this is what is left.
- Emily Fletcher (@emilywritespoems_)
The feelings inbetween Passing Warrington central with my head slightly aching, Sitting silent, observing as the trees whisper past. Let’s not take on the things that we’re feeling intensely, Let’s just sit and exist, just for a little while. Fall into the throw of the bumps of the train and Prepare for a sleep when you reach what’s back home, These feelings inbetween feel like silent survival, The moments you need to just pause and be still.
- Ella Fradgley
The feelings inbetween The feelings in-between me And you have come too far, I’ve put the love and anger Into a jar, While they bounce Between another, Dancing to decay, I look at you and wonder if We would fray. But with every fray comes a needle, Sew us back together to Forget our in-between. We were once at the seaside, Holding another’s hand, Enjoying what was, The light, the music and the sand. But across the water Lingered the darkness, Unconsciously waiting for The storm to fasten and expand.
Mixed emotions bubbling And overflowing, once our lips touch, Causing heaven and hell to Fight for our unjust. All from the feelings in-between, While being not quite sure What it all means, We are a team, despite our Love and anger in-between You and me. - Tara Alice (@poetry.with.sound)
By My Self I’d rather be alone than join in your games I’d rather be alone than share with you I’d rather be alone than tell jokes that you wont laugh at I’d rather be alone than explain what you wouldn’t understand I’d rather be alone than, be with you. - Joshua Banks
I don’t know how to prove to you the way that I feel about myself. I sleep with my windows wide open. I hope that the moths will come and make friends with my bones. I wish so greatly for the cold, For the birdsong to echo through the cavern. I want to be exposed. I have never been happy for houses once they start to lay the brick, I believe that the foundations and frameworks are too beautiful to be covered. I dream of feeling unfinished. I do not know if aphids eat, but if they do then I am begging them to eat me alive. - Rosa Wright
The reflection Peels off, clinging To anonymous lips – Behind them, unspoken words Nook into crooked walls To hide and stay quiet. I tell them it’s a game And they rattle against the cavities With childish elation. A first set of eyes bounce around And I think of the apples bobbing in the bucket That one Halloween – Slippery, sought after By the drowning heads of children And their milky little teeth. What a strange game to play. The hands I see are worn And I wear them as gloves over the old ones Bones protrude From out of the chest Like my own personal veranda. I suspect a stranger today
But all the scars Seem to be where I last saw them. These are the seashells I listen from too, Where swirls of wind blow Against a marbled cave. I am indeed a fossil. Discarded by the sea, A forgotten tenant, A small creature, A free toy for a while, And soon, an instrument for the mantle. The reflection mimics the shadow it studies. I watch it click off and on, Counterfeiting twenty years of truth, Imbedded into the lining Of the bathroom’s artificial light. I am occupied. I am full. Filled up like dead furniture Absorbing a stain, Not knowing it will stay forever.
But this shape that takes mine Has forgotten one thing: I know myself, I know my broken skin, Over my malleable bones, And I know I am a liar. I open my mouth to let the words out And I realise, I am the one with the voice. - Florence Brigitte (@florencebrigittepoetry)
Self Soft and quiet in the long afternoon I sit and hold the self to be born still Cradle her and let her sleep Until it’s time don’t make her think For now let’s wait, enjoy the quiet, A self of innocence so plaint The wills of sleep of solitude Until her service is required I’ll keep on going all I can But soon I know I’ll fall, I fear, So welcome and I hope change greets you. - Ella Fradgley
Golden I want the golden tips of summer to grace my mind Lighten the crevices that were once mine I wish to blossom into a being of love Abandoning these cracks, left untouched. Pictures of you placed in a box Turning grey from moving on I wish to embrace the lady you will become Red lips, rosy cheeks and a heart that is no longer numb . I will walk along the sand, Toes entangling, pattering like mad, Because the golden tips of summer is here, Moving forward, away from the tears. The quiet won’t be deafening no more, Sleep will creep up into my eyes creating soft snores, And I will be warm from the grace of golden Moving forward into the blossoms. - Tara Alice (@poetry.with.sound)-
7am Sunrise 4am sunrise bruises on my thighs left from your touch, alone and at peace but are you doing well? Nothing but time and a stream of consciousness my eyes are heavy I’m tired and weak, I hope you are well, Now your shoulder must feel lighter my head left to wander all I can do is ponder what could have been. Overthinking my weakness emotional my strongest no longer need to miss the old me the days of nostalgia can cause crystals in crows feet of older years Treasuring the memories my head on your chest Hearts racing in sync, u made me glow you made me grow it was tough to smile and watch you go One more scrunch of the nose, an endearing giggle the happiest moments I remember delicate cupid’s bows pressing together and forming a heart for the first and last… I digress I’m not dwelling tho really I am those last minute plans your touch your smell I know you are well - Sophia Wilson
I’ve seen you grow Like a rose The stem, a timeline of your life Each thorn another milestone I’ve seen you grow Everyday another petal Everyday another thorn I’ve seen you grow - S.K (@badassfemme63)
To Nana. Fumbling my way into your footsteps, Making sanctuary in separation, a space to breathe, a distant land, You were always my island of normality, And I’ve taken over the ship, Looking out at the Rocky seas, holding the ghost of your hand. I always said I’d run away to you, And now, in a way, I have, I can’t console in you but they can console in me, A rock, a doorway, a warm glowing exit sign, A phone call assuring them it’s fine, Like the faded voice I’d hear through the line, muffled by the sliping time.
I wish we could cross over paths, And I could show you how I’ve grown into your shoes, Not just the ones I danced around in, wearing your stitched memories, But the shoes that stood firm and strong as the protector of the fort, The hideaway for heavy days, A bank of fortitude and love. I wish I could show you, I wish you could be here and do this so I didn’t have to, But more than anything I just miss you, Even though I’m finding you all the time, Seeing your shadow in the place of mine, Growing into your shoes. - Ella Fradgley
I thought you felt the same way but I wouldn’t be here today, if that were true. But now I’ve grew. And, I guess it wasn’t meant to be but all of THIS has made me. - Joshua Banks