The Pitch: January 12, 2012 by FW Publishing

JANUARY 12–18, 2012

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VOL. 31

NO. 28

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C O N T E N T S VOLUME 31 • NUMBER 28 JA N UA RY 1 2 – 1 8 , 20 1 2

E D I T O R I A L Editor Scott Wilson Managing Editor Justin Kendall Music Editor David Hudnall Staff Writers Charles Ferruzza, Ben Palosaari Editorial Operations Manager Deborah Hirsch Proofreader Brent Shepherd Calendar Editor Berry Anderson Clubs Editor Abbie Stutzer Food Blogger, Web Editor Jonathan Bender Contributing Writers Danny Alexander, Aaron Carnes, Kyle Eustice, April Fleming, Ian Hrabe, Angela Lutz, Megan Metzger, Chris Parker, Nadia Pﬂaum, M.T. Richards, Nancy Hull Rigdon, Dan Savage, Brent Shepherd, Nick Spacek, Abbie Stutzer, Crystal K. Wiebe A R T Art Director Ashford Stamper Contributing Photographers Angela C. Bond, Cameron Gee, Forester Michael, Chris Mullins, Lauren Phillips, Sabrina Staires, Matthew Taylor, Brooke Vandever P R O D U C T I O N Production Manager Jaime Albers Senior Multimedia Designer Amber Williams Multimedia Designer Christina Riddle C L A S S I F I E D A D V E R T I S I N G Senior Multimedia Specialist Steven Suarez Multimedia Specialist Andrew Disper Sales Manager Lisa Kelley

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R E T A I L A D V E R T I S I N G Advertising Director Dawn Jordan Retail House Account Manager Eric Persson Multimedia Specialists Michelle Acevedo, Payton Hatfield, Laura Newell Sales Associate Kirin Arnold Director of Marketing & Operations Jason Dockery Advertising Coordinator Keli Sweetland C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Director Mike Ryan B U S I N E S S Business Manager Michelle McDowell Systems Administrator Matt Spencer Staff Accountant Amy Gilbert Front Desk Coordinator Jessica Weaver Publisher Joel Hornbostel S O U T H C O M M Chief Executive Officer Chris Ferrell Director of Accounting Todd Patton Director of Operations Susan Torregrossa Director of Content/Online Development Patrick Rains Creative Director Heather Pierce N A T I O N A L A D V E R T I S I N G Voice Media Group 888-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com Senior Vice President Sales Susan Belair Senior Vice President Sales Operations Joe Larkin National Sales Director Ronni Gaun B A C K PA G E . C O M Vice President Sales & Marketing Carl Ferrer Business Manager Jess Adams Accountant David Roberts D I S T R I B U T I O N The Pitch distributes 45,000 copies a week and is available free throughout Greater Kansas City, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for $5 each, payable at The Pitch’s office in advance. The Pitch may be distributed only by The Pitch’s authorized independent contractors or authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of The Pitch, take more than one copy of each week’s issue. Mail subscriptions: $22.50 for six months or $45 per year, payable in advance. Application to mail at second-class postage rates is pending at Kansas City, MO 64108. C O P Y R I G H T The contents of The Pitch are Copyright 2012 by KC Communications, LLC. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express written permission of the publisher. The Pitch address: 1701 Main, Kansas City, MO 64108 For The Pitch information, call: 816-561-6061 To report a story, call: 816-218-6915 Editorial fax: 816-756-0502 For classifieds, call: 816-218-6721 For retail advertising, call: 816-218-6702

The second coming of Chocolate Ale is nigh. BY JONATHAN BENDER | 6

G RAT E L A K E Leawood’s Lakeside Tavern is both ambitious and sauce-logged. BY CHARLES FERRUZZA | 17

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P LO G

F E AT U R E

N IG H T + DAY

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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H A C K M A N

Hometowns: Alexandria, Virginia, and Delmar, New York, growing up. But since my parents moved to KC as I was ﬁnishing college, and after nearly 14 years here myself, Kansas City certainly feels like home. Current neighborhood: Roanoke What is your sidekick? One bottomless-pit purse or another, in which I am, to the annoyance or amusement of others, constantly digging. And my laptop. Often, one of my fancy Bengal leopard cats, Biggie or Poppy, attempts to sit on my laptop. Where do you drink? I’ve curbed my drinking signiﬁcantly of late as I’ve become less resilient. But still, good cocktails on occasion are essential … R Bar, the Rieger, Grünauer or Pot Pie in winter; the Farmhouse, Aixois or the Westside Local in summer; Justus Drugstore when someone else is willing to drive. What’s your favorite charity? Charlotte Street Foundation! Also KCUR and KCPT. Favorite place to spend your paycheck: Almost nothing gives me as much pure pleasure as a Saturday of estate sales, and Kansas City is a great place for them. I love digging around for treasures and am a sucker for hand-embroidered linens, ceramics, mid-century whatevers, and strange odds and ends. But I could quickly and happily spend my whole paycheck on artwork, straight out of KC artists’ studios or from local galleries. Or go broke at Asiatica, Retro Inferno or George Terbovich’s store in Crestwood.

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B R O O K E VA N D E V E R

Occupation: “Art lady” might be my favorite descriptor. I am co-director of Charlotte Street Foundation, a nonproﬁt that nurtures, supports and connects artists in Kansas City through cash awards, project grants, commissions, studio residencies, exhibition and performance opportunities (through our Urban Culture Project), professional development training, etc.

per and Nerman museums, Le Fou Frog for dinner, and then a send-off to Mutual Musicians Foundation as I go to bed. Friends and family might get a stop at Fervere for bread, coffee at Chez Elle, produce shopping at City Market, a long walk around Columbus Park and the old Northeast, piddling around in the Crossroads (with stops at Hammerpress, Black Bamboo and Cellar Rat), a view from the Liberty Memorial, then home for a leisurely dinner. Finish this sentence: “Kansas City screwed up when it …” Built the highways that sliced up downtown and drove the evacuation from the heart of the city. “Kansas City got it right when …” It completed the restoration of Liberty Memorial. It is such a beautiful and elegant site in the middle of the city. And then it got it right again establishing the dog park in Penn Valley Park, which means that there are always people there. One of my very favorite places to walk, including feeling like Rocky running up the stairs of the memorial. “Kansas City needs …” To recognize that creative people are its greatest asset; to incentivize bottom-up, small-scale, mixed-use development; and to support its local culture makers. Plus, maybe a tobacco tax for the arts.

What local phenomenon is overrated? Boutique shopping at gloriﬁed strip malls in the suburbs.

“People might be surprised to know that I …” Sometimes dream of being a homemaker.

Where do you like to take out-of-town guests? Giving visiting artists and curators a proper orientation to Kansas City includes YJ’s Snack Bar and the West 18th Street shops, Bob Jones Shoes, Arthur Bryant’s, a drive through the West Bottoms (with stops at the Dolphin and the Golden Ox), stops at the Nelson and Kem-

What local tradition do you take part in every year? End-of-semester sales at Kansas City Art Institute. And the KC Flatﬁles at the H&R Block Artspace every other year.

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What TV show do you make sure you watch? Charlie Rose for brain food, Breaking Bad for pitch.com

existential drama, Project Runway and Work of Art for a kind of trashy yet talent-driven competitive fun. take up a lot of space in my iTunes: Cat Power, Beastie Boys, Yo La Tengo and Billie Holiday What movie do you watch at least once a year? Rushmore Person or thing you ﬁnd really irritating at this moment: The Republican Party What subscription do you value most? I’ve been getting both The New Yorker and New York for more than 20 years, and I would experience massive withdrawal if they disappeared from my mailbox. Last book you read: A Short History of Women, a novel by Kate Walbert that chronicles the lives and legacies of several generations of women descending from a suffragette who starved herself to death for the cause. What was your most embarrassing dating moment? Several involve being kicked out of public places for inappropriate behavior. Interesting brush with the law? See above. Describe a recent triumph: I completed all of my holiday shopping in one day, on foot, not in a mall.

The Charlotte Street Foundation celebrates its 15th anniversary with a series of tours and talks called Artists’ Walks at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art. The ﬁrst — with Peregrine Honig and Mark Southerland — is 6 p.m. Friday, January 13. M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X

THE PITCH

lulu’s

Former mayor and current Aristocrat Kay Barnes settles for more.

A Hip & Trendy Boutique

Are you a lulu?

lulu (loo’loo) n 1. A remarkable person or thing. 2. stunner, mantrap, knockout, beauty, peach

Mercedes Barnes ay Barnes hasn’t been mayor of Kansas City since 2007 but, God bless her, she’s keeping her name in the papers. In an interview featured in the fall-winter issue of Aristocrat Motors’ clientele publication, Today’s Aristocrat (motto: “Settle for more” — really), Barnes assures us that she’s staying busy teaching at Park University, and she’s crazy in love with her Mercedes. Which she purchased, of course, from Aristocrat. Today’s Aristocrat notes that, as mayor, Barnes had a city-paid car and driver. Looks like she has made a smooth transition to getting herself around. “I’ve had a great experience with my Mercedes and also with Aristocrat Motors,” she coos to the magazine. “The car is a dream to drive! The quality of service and friendliness of the staff at Aristocrat are exemplary.” Take that, Mark Funkhouser. (What Craigslist user finally separated Mayor Funk from his old Toyota when it was time to unload the beater? We may never know.) Right, so: dream, friendliness, exemplary — got it. The tackiness doesn’t stop there, though. The piece reads like an exit interview that has been stuffed between the seats of an S-Class for five years. The best part might be when Today’s Aristocrat wonders: “What would you consider to be your legacy and most important contribution?” Wisely, Barnes doesn’t blurt out, Seeing blight everywhere! Tax-increment financing for everyone! That kind of enthusiasm she reserves for paydays, such as her recent trip to Sacramento, where she told that city’s leaders how they, too, could ramp up really expensive projects with hazy dreams of big-league tenants and booming profits. Ah, well. She instead says: “I’m very proud of the 100’s [we don’t know why Today’s Aristocrat is edited this way — “hundreds” at a dealership usually refers to Franklins] of citizens who I appointed to city boards and commissions. They provided yoeman’s [uh, sic; maybe there isn’t an editor at Today’s Aristocrat] service whether we were dealing with downtown revitalization, creative programs for neighborhoods, or the myriad of unexpected challenges that occur in any community.” Today’s Aristocrat goes on to ask Her Former Honor to name her biggest “crisis or challenge” during her two terms at City Hall. Was it crime? Crumbling infrastructure? All

6017 Johnson Drive Mission, KS 913.362.CHIC (2442) luvlulus.com

p Buy • Sell • Trade Kay Barnes brags about her fancy ride.

that TIF? No, no and no. Barnes’ answer: 9/11. “Perhaps the biggest challenge was the immediate aftermath of 9/11,” she tells the glossy. “In Kansas City that morning, there was uncertainty about what might happen next so the Police and Fire Chiefs asked that I stay away from downtown to avoid having all city officials in the same place at the same time. In addition, we had planes landing at KCI from throughout the Midwest and beyond, so arrangements had to be made quickly for 100’s of people who were landing unexpectedly in our community.” So ... mints on pillows and fresh-cut flowers? All right, fine, that must have been a difficult week for Barnes and other Midwestern mayors. But with eight years in office to reference, couldn’t she have summoned the memory of something a little more local? But wait, she still cares about us! By the end of the interview, Barnes manages to squeeze in a plug for the plan to build a 1,000-room convention hotel, which the City Council enjoys spending taxpayer money to study but not — so far — to build. It seems that she’s still smarting over that missing third of her big-dollar downtown-development hat trick. Your move, Mayor Sly James. But if we see Barnes’ Benz parked around town with a bumper sticker reading “My other car is a streetcar,” we’ll know it was you. — BEN PALOSAARI Free parking at pitch.com/plog

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s w o l l e F Ale CHOCOLATE ALE RETURNS NEXT MONTH, AND THE COUNTDOWN IS ON. by Jonathan Bender | Photog raphy by Chris Mullins

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he two men don’t toast.

Absorbed in their work, they bring the matching snifters up to their noses, letting the aroma of the room-temperature, slightly flat beer stand in for conversation. This is the smell of collaboration. “I smell the nibs, but it’s the cacao instead of the cocoa smell. I also get malt,” says chocolatier Christopher Elbow as he lowers his glass. On this chilly Wednesday morning in December, he’s wearing a thin black jacket over his usual black T-shirt. “There’s rye and malt — those give it that little bit of spiciness,” replies Steven Pauwels, the brewmaster at Boulevard Brewing Co. They’re in Boulevard’s production plant at 3030 Roanoke Road, about a mile from the brewery’s main facility on Southwest Boulevard. “I didn’t want to overshadow the chocolate,” he says. “It’s all about layers of flavor.” It’s then that they both sip, taking a silent moment to take in the Chocolate Ale. The only sound is the hiss of the nearby assembly line and the clanking of its bottles. Pauwels and Elbow stood in this spot a year ago, contemplating the first batch of their Valentine’s Day gift to the city. Their idea for a chocolate brew was a lark, as much a result of mutual respect as a creative exercise. That first run of Chocolate Ale followed the principles of the Smokestack Series — small-batch, unique brews that Boulevard debuted in 2007 — rather than rehashing the familiar pairing of chocolate and stout. But bottles at local liquor stores sold out in less than 48 hours, and tales arose of desperate customers tracking beer distributors’ delivery trucks and turning to profiteers on Craigslist and eBay. The search for the limited-release beer captivated Kansas City for two weeks last

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Chocolatier Christopher Elbow (in black shirt) and Boulevard brewmaster Steven Pauwels take a taste test. February, and the memory lingered through 2011. “We knew it wasn’t for everyone, but I guess we were wrong,” Pauwels says. “You don’t always have to drink wine.” “It became somewhat of a game,” Elbow adds. “If you got some, you won.” The game is afoot again — Chocolate Ale returns in February. So 11 days before Christmas, 10 men work on this slightly humid production floor as Boulevard prepares for the second coming of a product that has taken on mythic pitch.com pitch.com

proportions. This time, the bottling run is up from 1,600 cases (12 bottles to a case) to 4,500. That’s not the only lesson that the Kansas City brewery learned last year. Pauwels recalls the hassle of trying to extract loose cocoa nibs from the beer tank, a problem for which his staff found an unexpected solution this year. “We asked an employee to go to the store to buy extra-large pantyhose,” Pauwels says. “He said he would never do that again.” The recipe for Chocolate Ale remains the same, a carefully concocted base beer that uses those nibs (from the Dominican Republic) and vanilla along with rye and malt. The 2010 edition was thought to be a bit sweeter on tap and drier in bottles, so Pauwels has

taken pains this time to lessen the differential between the keg and bottled versions. (The variance was the result of the bottled beer being bottle-conditioned, with yeast muting ﬂavors over a period of several weeks.) As Pauwels and Elbow return to Tank No. 8 for a second pull of beer, a worker carries longnecked glass bottles to a conveyor belt, and a red forklift prepares to move shrink-wrapped pallets of cardboard boxes. The 750-ml bottles roll down the line in diagonal rows, six across. The thick brown bottles are imported from Germany. Traditionally used for champagne, they’re able to withstand the higher pressure that accompanies the greater carbonation levels used to balance the higher alcohol content of

TANK(S) 8

Cases of Boulevard’s Chocolate Ale ship in February. the Smokestack Series, bottled exclusively at Boulevard’s Roanoke plant. “I’m like a kid in a candy store,” Elbow says. “I could never get tired of this.” This being December, he’s also glad for a break from 15-hour days packing chocolate for the holiday season. The bottles are first cleared of any air by the filler, which pressurizes them by creating a carbon-dioxide vacuum. Beer then fills the bottles. A second blast of carbon dioxide removes any air between the top of the bottle and the cork, inserted by two metal prongs that squeeze it like robot fingers. Air is blown across the top in an attempt to remove any residual beer, because the sugar in the liquid acts like glue and can make popping the cork difficult. (To further ease opening, Boulevard has switched to larger corks.)

“We are now known for those corks,” Pauwels says. “I like the wine ritual of opening corks. It says this is something special,” Elbow adds.

conditioned for a period of weeks, not far from a wall of Boulevard founder John McDonald’s wine casks. “In this city, there’s a chance to work with a lot of people on great projects. It gets me through the day-to-day,” Elbow says. “It’s like cross-training.” He then tells Pauwels that he has held on to a bit of Chocolate Ale from last year, in his beer cellar, drinking it as recently as November. “The chocolate subsides a bit. It was drinkable, but it wasn’t what it was,” Elbow says. “This is not a beer to hold on to. It’s meant to be drunk,” Pauwels says. Beer drinkers are already lining up to take the brewmaster’s advice — and marking their calendars for 2013.

“IT BECA ME SOMEW HAT OF A GA ME.

IF YOU GOT SOME, YOU WON.” A magnet grabs the cork cover, a thin metal cage, before the bottles proceed to the labeler, a machine purchased from Stone Hill Winery. The labels are rolled on with a sponge, and the ﬁnished bottles are hand-packed into cardboard boxes by the case. They roll off the line at a rate of 35 to 40 a minute. The beer is chilled and bottle-

he Boulevard Brewing Co.’s original cellar is getting a makeover, courtesy of eight new fermentation tanks that are being installed at the northwest corner of the plant. Kansas City’s El Dorado architectural ﬁrm has designed the 35-foot-tall glass enclosure that will house the cellar expansion, extending from the original cellar walls. The tanks, each of which weighs 12,000 pounds, hovered above Southwest Boulevard last Thursday, manuevered into place by a 200-foot-tall crane. In 2011, Boulevard made approximately 158,000 barrels of beer, now sold in 21 states. When the installation is complete, the brewery’s fermentation capacity will increase to just over 200,000 barrels a year. The tanks, designed and built by the Paul Mueller Co. of Springﬁ eld, Missouri, are expected to be operational in April. Each tank holds the equivalent of 100,000 12-ounce beers.

E-mail jonathan.bender@pitch.com

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M O N D AY PAGE 12

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Remembering Dr. King with unity.

Bar spotlight: Gram & Dun.

Pushing Google plans forward.

NIGHT + DAY WEEK OF JANUARY 12–18

T H U R S D AY

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[1 PERCENTERS]

[STORYTELLING]

CROSSING THE TEAS

COLD HARD FACTS

There’s no other media profile quite like the one enjoyed by Thomas Frank, Baffler founding editor, What’s the Matter With Kansas? author and Harper’s columnist. FIND Over the past couple of MANY MORE decades, the Mission Hills native has gone from small-press nerd Lewis Lapham LISTINGS to acolyte to Wall Street ONLINE AT Journal editorialist. PITCH.COM (First published in 1988, The Baffler was basically a big, thinky blog before blogs existed.) For proof that he’s still a wonk’s wonk with a Dennis Miller, stopme-before-I-subreference-again bent, flip to the index of his latest book, the tea-party-andTARP takedown Pity the Billionaire. Under V, find 1920s crooner Rudy Vallee, Ron Paul booster Richard Viguerie and actor Jon Voight

RACH ’EM

B O B PA I S L E Y

EVENT

(among others). Frank speaks at 7 p.m. at Unity Temple on the Plaza (707 West 47th Street). To channel a little recession fury in person, you need to buy Billionaire ($25) from Rainy Day Books (2706 West 53rd Street, Fairway, [ F R I DAY 1 .1 3 ]

t was almost certainly Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart or Detlef Schrempf who first said, “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.” Wolfie couldn’t dunk, but he — like most of his contemporaries — preferred to play his own compositions on das Klavier while conducting the other musicians. Not one to be upstaged by a dead genius, Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra Music Director Jeffrey Kahane plays Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 25 while nodding, winking and occasionally gesturing at the Kansas City Symphony, for which he’s the guest conductor this weekend. Kahane leads the symphony at 8 p.m. today and tomorrow, and at 2 p.m. Sunday at the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts (1601 Broadway, 816-994-7200). When Kahane pulled double duty on that concerto with the New York Philharmonic in 2010, he told The New York Times that it was easier that way. Showoff. The other half of the epic bill: Rachmaninoff’s thrilling and essential Symphony No. 2. At press time, Sunday’s concert was sold out, and the other shows were in high demand. For tickets — SCOTT WILSON and information, call 816-471-0400 or see kcsymphony.org.

Jeffrey Kahane

Coleman Crenshaw and Ashlee LaPine are Konstantin and Nina in The Seagull (Friday).

913-384-3126) beforehand. Each copy includes two tickets; call the store or see rainydaybooks.com. — SCOTT WILSON [ARTS & CRAFTS]

IT’S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL

Local writer Emily Farris continues her tradition of importing unusual and hip activities with a competition at the Honeytree Gallery (504 East 18th Street). This time, the party doesn’t involve casseroles, the cookbook author’s usual obsession, but crafts instead. “You just have to build a magical world inside of a shoebox,” Farris explains. Dioramaland: Part 1 is a tribute to the elementary school art project, which was briefly resurrected as a monthly contest at a Brooklyn bar, where Farris once earned accolades for her microcosm featuring shiny penises and humping dinosaurs. The theme of tonight’s contest is a secret (and so is the prize). The $10 entry fee includes one beer and supplies, but Farris advises, “If you have secret-weapon popsicle sticks and dinosaur figurines and you want to bring them, you should.” (Feel free to bring extra booze, too.) The concept fits the direction that Honeytree owner Kate E. Burke wants to take her gallery. “I want to push the envelope on being creative in the space,” she says, “and opening it up for other events besides First Fridays.” Dioramaland begins at 7 p.m. RSVP at the event page on Facebook. — CRYSTAL K. WIEBE

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David Hollond wants us to rethink our storysharing habits, given the latest 140-charactermax attention span. In the tradition of Moth StorySLAMs in other cities, Hollond and the Lawrence Arts Center (940 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-843-2787) are bringing together locals for Story Slam, which resembles the oral-storytelling tradition — “a sort of campfire where family, friends, neighbors and strangers gather to hear interesting tales told by family, friends, neighbors and strangers,” Hollond says. The theme for tonight’s event is “Cold,” and it’s open to individual interpretation. Participants can spin a five- to seven-minute true, personal tale in competition or they can share one- to three-minute quickies. Music starts at 7 p.m., and talebearing begins at 7:30. Donations are accepted at the door, and a cash bar helps you loosen up. See lawrenceartscenter.org for more information. — APRIL FLEMING [MUSIC]

BEAT STREET

The Eighth Street Taproom (801 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-6918) is a good area bar for seeing an intimate show. Equal parts hipster barroom and basement dive, the joint boasts an upstairs lounge, a smokers’ patio with corner views, and a moody downstairs space illuminated with red Christmas bulbs. If it sounds inviting, then one of the bar’s signature attractions offers further enticement. DJ vs. Drums pits DJ Kimbarely Legal, using actual turntables (bless the DJs who actually DJ), against drummers Dylan Bassett (Sunu) and Sean B. (Hearts of Darkness). Kimbarely Legal picks some funk, salsa, Afrobeat or whatever else is hiding in her crates, and the drummers add their flavor on all kinds of percussion instruments, including dunduns, djembe and talking drums. The results: sultry sounds and plenty of movement. — APRIL FLEMING [THEATER]

BIRD LANDING

Anton Chekhov’s The Seagull is one of those masterworks that doesn’t get produced in town very often. First produced in 1896 to an unappreciative audience, The Seagull later became one of continued on page 12

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Chekhov’s most celebrated plays. A highly regarded 19th-century Russian playwright, Chekhov was also a practicing physician — a smart man who also apparently excelled in time management. Like many of his works, The Seagull is also about subtext — what’s left unsaid among the ensemble cast. (Chekhov, like Jane Austen, was an astute observer, though her characters were more cheerful.) The play opened Wednesday at Metropolitan Ensemble Theatre (3614 Main, 816-569-3226), which is no stranger to challenging and interesting productions. See it tonight at 7:30. For more information and tickets, see metkc.org. The Seagull runs through January 29. — DEBORAH HIRSCH

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SLOW MUSIC FOR FAST TIMES

The Charlotte Street Foundation’s Urban Culture Project keeps pace with art in all its realms with the second installment of its seasonal aural showcase, Winter Music. Like a live Sundaynight broadcast of Stephen Hill’s Hearts of Space (on KCUR 89.3), the program includes three musicians — soloist Aaron Martin, Matt Hill of local electronic outfit Umberto, and Shawn E. Hanson — performing ambient selections that are designed to evoke drama and reflection. “The music will have a 21st-century classical feel,” Martin says. “It will be introspective in tone, and each performer has been asked to reference radio in some way. I will be performing a 30-minute set with cello, bowed banjo, voice and a nod to Pasolini.” The sounds start at 10 p.m. at La Esquina (1000 West 25th Street, 816-221-5115). The suggested donation is $5. — BERRY ANDERSON [SPECTATOR SPORTS]

RETRO FOOTIE-ING

In the 1980s, Kansas City Comets players wore painted-on-tight, Daisy Duke-short bottoms paired with long-sleeved, Polo-like tops while a disco mirror ball and music from Midnight Express made Kemper Arena crowds go wild. Relive some of the old-school magic during the Missouri Comets retro game. The soccer team, now in its second season since returning to the Major Indoor Soccer League, takes on the Wichita Wings, an old rival newly returned to the league. The Comets take a break from their home in the Independence Events Center for a game at the Sprint Center (1407 Grand, 816-949-7100), a change of location that coincides with the downtown convention of the National Soccer Coaches Association of America. Halftime plans include an exhibition game between former Comets players and former players from other league teams. The Comets’ jerseys today are pure ’80s, but the shorts? Go see for yourself. The game starts at 7:35 p.m., with tickets priced from $16 to $41; call 816-478-2255 or see ticketmaster.com. — NANCY HULL RIGDON [COMEDY]

THE THUNDER ROLLS AGAIN

Improv actor Jared Brustad has a crafty side. Three times a year, the Improv Thunderdome founder picks out colored beads and person12 2 TtHhEe PpIiTtCcHh

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[TECHNOLOGY]

GOOGLE FOR DOLLARS

You Can Count on Me, in Westport (Sunday) ally bedazzles a wrestling belt, which goes to the winning team at the conclusion of an Improv Thunderdome season. “I spend a whole day doing it,” he says. “With one of these glue sticks with the really pointy tip and tweezers, I do it one bead at a time.” Each four-month season pits nine local improv troupes in a battle for laughs and overall audience approval. This year, Thunderdome moves to Comedy City (817 Westport Road, inside the Westport Flea Market, 816-842-2744), an organization that has spotlighted laugh makers for 25 years. Thunderdome reservations can now be made through the club directly, rather than by calling Brustad’s cell phone. Round 1 of Improv Thunderdome’s ninth season features the teams Awkward, Little Bear and Stitchtactics. The battle begins at 10 p.m. Tickets cost $10. See comedycity.cc. — CRYSTAL K. WIEBE

S U N D AY

1.15

[FILM]

ARTS TO COUNT ON

A two-alarm fire, caused by the installation of an air conditioner, decimated Westport Presbyterian Church on the evening of Thursday, December 29. The 175-year-old building was home to several different nonprofit organizations, including the FIND Westport Center for MANY MORE the Arts. One of that group’s happenings was the Mostly Foreign School, a monthly LISTINGS Film movie-watching series ONLINE AT designed to generate PITCH.COM discussion and tolerance. Fortunately, the event has already found a new home: the Westport Coffee House (4010 Pennsylvania, 816-756-3222). The new series’ inaugural film, the Oscar-nominated You Can Count on Me, is accessible to those who enroll in the program, led by the Rev. Scott Myers. “It’s important because the arts create community, and community creates life, love and peace,” Myers says. “And we need a lot of all three right now.” Enrollment for the five-film series costs $25 and includes reading lists and discussions. Advance registration is required; see westportcenterforthearts.org to sign up. — BERRY ANDERSON

EVENT

AN NT UH A RXYX–X 1 2 -X1,82, 0200 X 1 2 pitch.com pitch.com MJ O

M O N D AY

1.16

[REMEMBRANCE]

THE MARCH GOES ON

In 2004, PBS’ American Experience presented Citizen King, a documentary that chronicled the last five years of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s life. In the film, Pulitzer Prize-winning historian Taylor Branch claimed that, because of the stress of his work, 39-year-old King had the heart of a 60-year-old man when he was assassinated. Today the country observes what would have been the 83rd birthday of the civil rights activist. In Kansas City, the Bethel AME Church (2329 Flora, 816-231-3555) sponsors a march and parade beginning at the intersection of Truman Road and the Paseo, proceeding south on the Paseo, going east on 22nd Street and south on Vine, ending at a rally featuring the Marching Cobras at 23rd Street and Vine. The experience is designed to demonstrate “the important principles of unity,” says event chairman Spencer Booker. Free and open to all, the festivities begin at 11 a.m. See facebook.com/ mlkmaradekcmo for more information. — BERRY ANDERSON

T U E S D AY

1.17

[BARHOPPING]

BAR SPOTLIGHT: GRAM & DUN

What’s under that dome at the corner of Pennsylvania and Ward Parkway? It’s the bar of new Plaza dining tenant, Gram & Dun (600 Ward Parkway, 816-389-2900), a gastropub by Bread & Butter Concepts (BRGR Kitchen + Bar, Urban Table). It caters to foodies, craft-cocktail connoisseurs and Plaza regulars ready to stray from Stoli Dolis and skinny drinks at Kona Grill. “Now that we have slowed down from the holidays, we can play around with things,” says bartender Ethan Mattocks. Some drinks won’t make the final cut, but an early favorite is the Corner Cocktail, with Don Q Cristal rum, honey, pomegranate purée, lemon juice and sparkling wine. It goes well enough with French onion dumplings, so you can almost forgive the Dave Matthews Band loop playing overhead. The drinks are fairly stiff, and so are the prices ($4 domestic bottles, $6 combo Jager shot and 7-ounce Miller High Life mini), and the crowd is pure Plaza (flighty, fashionable and willing to buy $7 calls). — BERRY ANDERSON

Want to see what happens when someone wins a prize worth six figures? Then reserve your spot at the Gigabit Challenge (Finalist Challenge and Awards Celebration), a daylong event at the Plaza Branch of the Kansas City Public Library (4801 Main, 816-701-3481). Tech entrepreneurs give 10-minute presentations explaining how they hope to use Kansas City’s Google Fiber network for their businesses. The finalists have been culled from 113 submissions from around the world in a contest organized by Kansas City’s Think Big Partners. TBP co-founder Tyler Prochnow says, “What the Google Fiber initiative has done for entrepreneurs is open up their creativity and their innovation to ideas that aren’t even possible with today’s standard Internet speeds. We’ve seen plans addressing steep improvements in telemedicine, distance learning for all levels of education, next-generation voting technologies, the delivery of video entertainment to the home, and other answers to everyday consumer problems.” Two prizes, worth $250,000 and $100,000, will be awarded. The Gigabit Challenge begins with a 7 a.m. breakfast reception. Business-plan presentations go from 8:30 a.m. to 4 p.m., with winners announced at 4:30. Admission is free. RSVP at kclibrary.org/rsvp/15388 or call 816-701-3407. — CRYSTAL K. WIEBE [THEATER]

BALI HAI

It was 1949, two years after Jackie Robinson became the first black man to play Major League Baseball and six years before Rosa Parks refused to move to the back of a Montgomery, Alabama, bus. “The term civil rights wasn’t even around at the time, and very few musicals had taken on anything important,” says Paul Laird, University of Kansas professor of musicology and a Broadway historian. So Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II’s South Pacific, which takes place during World War II, “was a very important moment in American history,” Laird says. He leads a preperformance discussion for the Tony Award-winning revival of the Broadway musical playing at the Lied Center (1600 Stewart Avenue, Lawrence, 785-864-2787). The free talk begins at 6:30 p.m. in the center’s pavilion. The show starts at 7:30 p.m., and admission costs $21-$46. To purchase, call the box office or see lied.ku.edu/season/ticket-sales.shtml. — NANCY HULL R IGDON Night + Day listings are offered as a free service to Pitch readers and are subject to space restrictions. Submissions should be addressed to Night + Day Editor Berry Anderson by e-mail (calendar@pitch.com), fax (816-756-0502) or mail (The Pitch, 1701 Main, Kansas City, MO 64108). Please include zip code with address. Continuing items must be resubmitted monthly. No submissions are taken by telephone. Items must be received two weeks prior to each issue date. Search our complete listings guide online.

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

THE PITCH

ﬁlm

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Stand Down Margaret THE IRON LADY STRANDS MERYL STREEP’S UNCANNY MARGARET THATCHER IN A SPLINTERED BIOPIC. ssentially a one-woman stage play dressed as a biopic, The Iron Lady, written by Abi Morgan and directed by Phyllida Lloyd, is an unfocused portrait of a figure whose importance it takes for granted. In these surroundings, Meryl Streep’s impeccable turn as Margaret Thatcher, BY the United Kingdom’s first and only woman prime minister, is STEVEN an award-worthy performance HALE in search of a whole movie. Lloyd and Morgan divide The Iron Lady into the story of two women: the “grocer’s daughter from Grantham,” who refused to be ignored by the male-dominated political class, and the aging baroness tragically losing her grip on her former self. With the exception of brief contributions from Alexandra Roach as a young Margaret, Streep plays both Thatchers as the movie depicts her rise to power and subsequent time as prime minister by way of a series of flashbacks, supposedly brought on by her increasingly unhinged mind. Her dementia also triggers visions of her dead husband (played by Jim Broadbent), interactions she desperately fights off, with diminishing success. The flashback structure has some merit as a strategy for portraying one of the most divisive political figures of the century. Like her ally and fellow conservative icon Ronald Reagan, who underwent a similarly painful fade in his twilight, Thatcher was a hero to the right and a figure of loathing to the left. Whether you see her as a Henry V or a Lady

OUT THIS WEEK Carnage Like plenty of people, I’ve been watching a lot of Louis C.K. lately. And I kept hearing the comic in my head as I watched Roman Polanski’s squirmy, tone-deaf new movie, Carnage, which traps four good actors in empty moral slapstick. Jodie Foster, bug-eyed and twitchy, comes on like she’s still stuck in Panic Room. Kate Winslet and Christoph Waltz are all asexual glint and no payoff. John C. Reilly shouldn’t wear sweaters. When, oh when, will Louis — maybe playing a neighbor — ring the doorbell and say, as only he can, “Would you stupid cunts shut the fuck up, already?” Sadly, this never happens. Yasmina Reza’s money-and-manners comedy God of Carnage, the source of Polanski’s ﬁlm, 14

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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ALEX BAILEY

Macbeth, there is inescapable poignancy in watching someone who scaled such heights brought low by ordinary physical frailty. But in Morgan and Lloyd’s telling, the narrative settles into a tiresome back-and-forth lockstep that avoids any serious assessment of Thatcher’s character and legacy. Instead, the ﬁlmmakers provide a whistlestop tour of Thatcher’s Wikipedia page, with special treatment given to Thatcher’s thenwidely condemned order to invade the Falkland Islands — a move The Iron Lady portrays as a vindicated boost to British nationalism on a par with the United States’ response to Pearl Harbor. But the movie seems determined to chart a noncontroversial course through one of the most divisive political careers of the last century, so it serves us a clip reel of hastily presented touchstones interspersed with glum portrayals of the present day: her ascent to power, her tenure in ofﬁce and her eventual ouster. Often, we’re

watching the trailer for a Margaret Thatcher movie that might have been. The only thing that keeps the fractured narrative from dissipating completely is the gravity of Streep’s performance. No matter how splintered Thatcher’s memories, she is the star in them all, keeping Streep — thankfully — at the movie’s center. Yet in this form, the drama might have been better presented and better received in a playhouse, with a marquee boasting, “Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher.” There, the sets and the clamoring Brits could have revolved around Streep, as they do in the film, but the viewer wouldn’t have expected anything more than a marvelous stand-alone impression. In the end, The Iron Lady leaves Margaret Thatcher in the present — the film’s version of it, anyway — as a hobbling widow, confined to her home and the chores she swore off as a young woman. The audience is left to wonder which would bother her more: the fact that washing a teacup is now an act of independence for the woman who changed British politics or our pity as the credits roll. ■

is full of signifiers but is feather-light on significance. More than class, though, it lampoons its own form, trumping up a flimsy reason to assemble two married couples of varying loathsomeness and then resorting to liquor to prod further verbal brutality. Maybe something has been lost in translation during the play’s journey from France to England (Christopher Hampton — remember Dangerous Liaisons? — first translated it for the British stage) to Broadway to screen. But in any language, one of Reza’s quartet of characters — no, make that types — is required to vomit onto a stack of expensive art books. Ha? Take that, upper-middle-class assholes? It’s easy and not inaccurate to read Carnage as the latest in Polanski’s career-long essay on exile, containment and isolation. (Maybe it’s not an accident that all four characters here feel like foreigners. And they are, inasmuch as a set in

France stands in for an absurdly smart-looking Brooklyn apartment.) But Repulsion this is not, and even 2010’s overrated The Ghost Writer is gripping stuff compared with this hollow-bodied class snit. And despite a screenplay (Polanski and Reza are credited with the adaptation) that pares things to less than 90 minutes, including parking and buying a ticket, Carnage feels like the longest movie Polanski has ever made. There are laughs here, but they neither provoke thought nor bring relief. What Reza and Polanski offer instead are hard shocks that sucker the sound of revulsion and mortiﬁcation from your body. There’s nothing wrong with chuckles that make you feel dirty, but Carnage is nothing more than one long joke about there being no side worth taking in any domestic or personal conﬂict. Ha? Take that? Shut the fuck up, already? — SCOTT WILSON

From left: twit, twit, legend, twit, twit.

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café Grate Lake CAN LEAWOOD’S AMBITIOUS BUT SAUCELOGGED LAKESIDE TAVERN BE RESCUED? Lakeside Tavern 10551 Mission, Leawood, 913-383-2939. Hours: 11 a.m.–9 p.m. Sunday–Thursday, 11 a.m.– 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday. Price: $–$$

ANGELA C. BOND

es, there’s a body of water on the grounds of the Mission Farms development at 105th Street and Mission Road, but I’m not sure it’s fair to call it a lake. A big, pretty pond is more like it — the kind you find on farms and golf courses. So the Lakeside Tavern, which opened in Mission Farms two months ago, isn’t really by the side of a lake. But the BY place must be a tavern, right? No. Without question, it’s CHARLES a sports bar. Not that this F E R R U Z Z A cavernous space — formerly occupied by Boudreaux’s Louisiana Seafood & Steaks and, more recently, the Mexican concept Los Cabos — seems designed to be much else. Finally embracing the room’s destiny, Lakeside’s owners have installed nearly a dozen monitors in the steely- folks (including a disproportionate number of blue lounge and dining room, all tuned to trophy wives wrapped in costly furs), in for ESPN. To match, the menu is heavy on burg- a quick and relatively inexpensive meal. “It’s an older crowd during lunch and in the early ers and fried foodstuffs. Given the venue’s snazzy location and own- evening,” one of the servers told me. “It gets a ers (including chef Joe Birch, co-founder of little younger in here later.” That’s younger in Leawood years: under 50. Avenues Bistro), expectations for this joint are probably riding higher than those for any old But Kansas boomers need their neighborhood beer-and-burger depot. A noisy sports saloon watering holes, too — where everybody knows in midtown might get away with greasy chili your name, and “pigs in a blanket” are frankand tater tots, but this is Leawood. The chili, furters wrapped in flaky phyllo, baked and cut then, is made with Kobe beef, and the chubby into tidy segments. Don’t look for neon-yellow mustard, though; these little piggies come with fried tots are stuffed with gruyere and bacon. I know, I know — you’re rolling your eyes by jalapeño-cilantro aioli. That is, if you’re lucky enough to get it. That now. Maybe we should look at Lakeside Tavern as a parody, a clever caricature. How else to aioli is the dipping sauce that’s supposed to view a place which captures the mood of a tra- arrive with the light, airy, fried polenta sticks. ditional suds-wings-and-football bar with about I can’t rave enough about these “fries,” which amount to cornmeal-mush the same authenticity that frites. But on that first lunch Wyandotte County’s T-Rex Lakeside Tavern at Lakeside, they were served Café attempts to re-create the Pigs in a blanket .............$7 with runny ranch dressing. fun and excitement of the late Polenta fries ...................$6 Only after I ordered them Jurassic Period? I’m still tryChicken-fried again, during another visit ing to figure that out. portobello .................. $12 in the evening, did the actual The joint does have its good Burnt-end dinner .......... $11 spicy mayonnaise — creamy points. The beer list is strong, Veggie club .....................$8 Shrimp and avocado and punchy — come with the the servers are an appealing po’boy............................$9 starter. mix of young hotties and vetPork-belly Cuban .............$8 Most of Lakeside’s dishes eran pros, and the menu (parcome with some kind of sauce, ticularly its nonmeat options) which is a tip-off that the shows signs of creative effort. With the Chiefs already packed away for kitchen’s ambition has outpaced its judgment. the season, I didn’t have a chance to experi- Proof: The “special sauce” on the Train Wreck ence Lakeside among rabid fans watching an burger was the dullest (and least “special”) verexciting game. Maybe the vibe in the place sion of classic rémoulade I’ve ever tasted. And would have been more electric then than dur- talk about a wreck: It did nothing to liven up the ing my three meals there. On my visits, the sourdough hoagie that formed the boundaries of customers seemed to be mostly neighborhood the shrimp and avocado po’boy. That sandwich

sounded so good on the menu but looked like a slab of trashy Texas toast, split open. (“It’s not Texas toast, it’s white sourdough,” the server explained, preserving the mystery of this particular decision.) The fried shrimp were po’ all right: petite and so heavily breaded that they they could have passed for fried mushrooms instead. There really is a fried fungus passing itself off as a pub standard, and it’s a rare success: a portobello dish modeled on chicken-fried steak. The meaty mushroom was breaded in panko crumbs, fried perfectly crisp and blanketed with an almost evanescent wine gravy instead of the gloppy cream-and-pepper concoction served with the pounded-meat version. It was actually a lot juicier and tastier than most chicken-fried steaks in this town. Would I ever order it again? Maybe, but I’d choose my sides better. The cheesy corn with ham was intensely spicy, and I might have enjoyed the mashers if they had been hot and not so shiny. I never trust spuds that seem to have been prepared for a photo shoot rather than for dinner. The house specialty at Lakeside (according to the menu, anyway) is burnt ends. That’s an ambitious goal in a metro where burnt ends are a sacred dish. And executive chef Devin Wilson’s ends didn’t satisfy my middle. For one thing, they weren’t served hot, so they went back to the kitchen with the mashed potatoes. But even at the proper temperature, they lacked the smoky succulence of the meat at LC’s or Woodyard. At $11 with two side dishes, it’s a better deal than it is a meal. Lakeside’s menu boasts that the fried bologna sandwich is “amazing,” but I couldn’t bring myself to order it — at any price. That same house-assigned accolade doesn’t extend

The avocado chicken salad also boasts strawberries and toast.

to Lakeside’s Cuban sandwich, and that’s probably for the best. The tender pork belly and bits of roasted pork were ﬁne, but I would have liked the sandwich a lot more if it had been even a little more authentic; it needed to be grilled in a sandwich press. The nutty wholegrain bread used for the warm veggie club was toasted stiff — too stiff — which made eating the stacked avocado, lettuce, tomato, jack cheese, cucumbers and grilled zucchini awkward. And why wasn’t it cut in half (or quarters) before being served? During my last meal at Lakeside, the volume of the TVs seemed to get louder as the evening wore on. By the time I was considering dessert (“AMAZING ice creams” according to the menu, which apparently also gets louder toward the end), my tablemates and I could barely hear one another over the howl of deodorant commercials. I looked over at the hostess station, and the teenager standing guard was yawning. It was 8:30 p.m. The food might not lure me back to Lakeside Tavern, but the “lake” might. A lovely patio overlooks the water, and the setting takes on a little magic in the moonlight. Maybe Lakeside Tavern will turn out to be a summer place, the kind of sultry scene where a couple can sit back, enjoy a glass or two of wine, and share a plate of Kobe chili cheese fries. That’s romance, Leawood-style. Have a suggestion for a restaurant The Pitch should review? E-mail charles.ferruzza@pitch.com

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

nd now, an open letter to those who create programming for food-related television. To whom it may concern: I haven’t voiced a complaint since Land O’Lakes switched its butter wrapping from gold to silver foil — the same color as its margarine wrapping — thus leading to much confusion for me as a middle school chef. That was BY an unforgivable mistake, as I J O N AT H A N kindly explained to the callcenter employee who took my BENDER call and humored me. She told me that the company appreciated my feedback and would seriously consider my suggestion. I urge you to do the same. I’m afraid that you, the creators of food programming, are headed toward a similar mistake. While your hope is that America’s expanding waistline will lead to oversized ratings for shows reflecting what we see in the mirror, you’re neglecting the core tenet of what has made food reality TV successful in the first place: the food. I mean, Suzilla: The Mouth That Roars and Fat Chef? These two food shows have debuted in the past month. The first, on Discovery’s Planet Green, promises an exciting journey alongside a competitive eater. Suzanne French is a new breed of big-eats contestants in that she’s a petite blonde and a woman. The second show is a Food Network program that sounds like a punch line but is a rip-off of NBC’s The Biggest Loser (one of that network’s few hits). Each week of the six-episode Fat Chef season features two chefs working alongside a trainer (one is — surprise! — former Biggest Loser trainer Brett Hoebel) in a struggle against being overweight in the very kitchens that made them obese. The need for this new slate of reality programming is very much a problem of your own making, food-television programmers. In May 2010, Scripps Network Interactive — the media group that owns the Food Network — launched the Cooking Channel, slugged as “the network for food people, by food people.” It was an admission that the Food Network had morphed into something other than being about food, much as MTV, over time, divested itself of the music in its initials. Suddenly, there were two 24-hour cycles of continuous programming to fill. A year later, the programs in development are finally being put on the cable-TV table. Remember when “food TV” meant smart, witty chefs working in kitchens and making us privy to their know-how? Julia Child and The Galloping Gourmet’s Graham Kerr became famous for two simple reasons: They made cookpitch.com

ing accessible, and they loved the ingredients in their bowls. Their celebrity was a result of genuine passion, and for 40 years the single-camera, single-chef approach was enough. A chef invited you into his or her kitchen and then proceeded to dazzle you with a spatula and some expertise. That same approach still results in householdname status for the likes of Emeril Lagasse, Alton Brown and Rachael Ray. Unfortunately, synergy demanded that we find new uses for TV chefs, so off they went to sitcoms (the short-lived Emeril), daytime talk shows and episodic travelogues. As a result, celebrity began to trump chef. We don’t know Anthony Bourdain for what he prepares on the plate. We just know that he’s a bad boy who will not suffer a bad dinner. The sizzle hasn’t just eclipsed steak but has become food-TV’s raison d’être. This is how we’ve arrived at Suzilla and Fat Chef. The New York Times has called Suzilla “a little like pornography.” I watched the first episode and found it hard to disagree. There’s no pizza guy with tear-away pants, but everything else falls somewhere between innuendo and softcore. French is presented as America’s ideal woman. She’s a cute, bubbly Texan — and, boy, look at how much she puts in her mouth. In her first challenge, the fourth-ranked eater in the world attempts to conquer the Big Fat Fatty at Fat Sal’s in Los Angeles. It’s a cheeseand sauce-laden mix of pub food — onion rings, chicken fingers, cheeseburgers, fries — on a torpedo roll, and the restaurant claims that it can “feed 10 people.” The owner of Fat Sal’s, a doppelgänger for Joe Rogan, informs French that he thought she’d be bigger. This is only moments after asking her if she had even “seen the thing.” His partner challenges French, who proceeds to shovel food in her mouth the way Paul Newman engulfs eggs in Cool Hand Luke. Fat Chef, meanwhile, promises to examine what happens when chefs lose control and can’t stop eating. The first episode centers on

Today’s TV chefs are small ﬁsh compared with Julia.

Michael Mignano, a Long Island pastry chef who loves fast food and whose scale-busting weight is north of 500 pounds. The show drives home his personal failings while setting up the televised moment as his last chance at normal life — any life. The show’s determination to be Mignano’s savior moves from grating to overbearing in just an hour. A transformation (each of the cheftestants attempts to lose 25 percent of his or her body weight in 16 weeks) that should be triumphant falls as flat as a failed souffle. Taken together, the two shows are indicative of what’s wrong with food TV. The same postNielsen algorithm that says we love celebrities also says we love to watch people consume ungodly amounts of food and then let TV producers intervene. It’s like we’re Hansel and Gretel, and the programmers are the witches. Listen up, witches: Your shows aren’t about food. They’re about your viewers’ issues with food. The food is incidental. You could scroll up or down the cable-box channels and easily find similarly themed programs based on humankind’s inability to stop collecting (Hoarders) or shoot up heroin (Intervention). But food shouldn’t be lumped in with the addiction to shopping or hard drugs. Great food shows have an impact beyond our TV sets. Food on TV — the crack of egg shells and the hiss of oil, in high definition — can engage our senses and provoke memories. Programmers, you’ve became too concerned with the packaging, forgetting that food shows need to be appetizing. And we’ll love the next Kerr or Child — maybe even the next Emeril — because the love of food comes through the screen. Don’t think our fingers are too fat to change channels, food-TV execs. Remotes are bigger, too — with bigger buttons. Watching something else at pitch.com/fatcity pitch.com

MONTH

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February 23rd

ARTOPIA April 7th TASTE OF KC May 20th MUSIC SHOWCASE August 2nd

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Upcoming Events 1.12 - Avicii @ Indie 1.21 - Big Smith & The Rumblejetts @ Trouser Mouse 1.21 - Party Arty @ Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art 1.21 - The Kills @ Indie

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

THE PITCH

music

Streetside 22 Music Forecast 24 Concerts 26 Nightlife

Orange Crush NICOLE SPRINGER STEPS OUT AS THE VOICE OF ACOUSTIC DUO THE CLEMENTINES.

S A B R I N A S TA I R E S

particular kind of silence is present at a half-empty bar gig. It was lingering like a lazy ghost at Coda the ﬁrst Thursday of 2012. The occasion was a band competition of sorts. Two acts, each representing a charity of its choosing, were scheduled to perform. Afterward audience members would use their dollars to vote for their favorite. A panel of three moderators sat at BY a rectangular table set up in D AV I D front of the stage, which at Coda is just an area where H U D N A L L tables and chairs have been cleared for amps, mics and space to play. About 20 people had shown up. In between songs, ice could be heard clinking against glass. If somebody coughed into their armpit, heads turned. It is at places like Coda — formerly Jilly’s, currently a modest, affable joint downtown on Broadway — where unknown local acts must cut their teeth. Nobody expects to be bowled over by the music. The best that can realistically be hoped for is seeing some raw talent, a small kernel that might turn into something special. Which is what happened Thursday when Nicole Springer got up from her table, plugged in and started singing. Springer is the driving force behind the Clementines, an acoustic duo that also features guitarist Tim Jenkins. The Clementines have a blues core, but an assortment of The Clementines have been together genres — folk, prog, gospel — seeps into their sound, which smacks a bit of Led Zeppelin III. since last February, when Springer put out Jenkins stays off to the side, playing muted a Craigslist ad seeking a musical collaborabar chords and picking away during solos; tor. She received a number of responses but Springer rattles feverishly at her guitar. The was most impressed by Jenkins. (“I’ve been songs are satisfactory but played mostly in playing for about 12 years but mostly just service of Springer’s voice, which is huge in garage bands that never left the garage,” Jenkins says.) They met and and elastic, a robust force clicked, and in April they impervious to the hushed The Clementines. started gigging regularly at trappings of low turnouts. Friday, January 13, local open-mic nights. Springer has brown, at the Brick. Springer’s vision for wavy hair and the subtle the Clementines was initomboy mannerisms of a tially inspired by the Irish rural girl. “I grew up singing in gospel choirs, in Oak Grove,” she says. folk duo the Swell Season. “I had just seen “And I still love gospel music, though I’m not them in concert before I put up that ad,” religious or anything. I did musicals through- Springer says. “They’re just so passionate, out high school, and I went to school for a and I wanted to do something that had that year at Missouri State for music education. much soul in it. It’s the same reason I like But I’ve never been in a committed band Aretha or the Gossip.” Jenkins, a fan of “geek rock, like ’70s prog before this one.”

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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stuff,” brought a different sensibility to the table. “I usually bring in a song,” Springer says, “and Tim will tweak it and add solos and sometimes a riff — he helps complete it.” “I think we know what our strong suits are,” Jenkins says. “Nicole’s voice is the main draw. And we try to mix that with a bluesfolk sound that has a little pop sensibility.” Springer has a tendency to indulge in dramatic, meandering vocal curlicues, which is forgivable — who could resist the temptation to show off a voice like hers? It also hints at another, less obvious inspiration. “I love musical theater,” Springer says. “I used to have this idea of writing a musical based on my life. Music is a very theatrical thing to me. When I sing one of my sad songs, I become sad with it. It really affects me in that way.” The pair have rough versions of ﬁve songs up on a ReverbNation page and are in the process of cutting an EP (to be released digipitch.com

The year could be a swell season for the up-and-coming Clementines.

tally in a few months) and a full-length (coming out later in 2012). “We’ve thickened things up on the recordings,” Springer says. “Tim’s added some electric guitar. There’s some bass and piano. We want it to be pretty strippeddown, though, so we can play with just the two of us onstage and have it still work.” See for yourself whether it’s working when they play at the Brick. “It’s been interesting trying to get gigs,” Springer says. “It started off slow, with us doing all those open mics. But I think we stopped into enough bars and played our songs and kept doing it, and now it’s starting to turn into those bars asking us back to play. Which is nice.” E-mail david.hudnall@pitch.com or call 816-218-6774 M O N T H X X–X X , 2 0 0 X

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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streetside

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Mary Bridget Davies & Dan Doran Trio January 14

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

Pub Crawl AMERICA’S PUB IS NO MORE. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR WESTPORT?

estport Road between Main and Broadway was blocked off in the last days of 2011 after an air-conditioning installation went awry, igniting a blaze that ravaged the 175-yearold Westport Presbyterian Church. Days later, the street reopened, and everything returned to normal in Westport. Right? No, no. The same day of BY the fire, Stone Spirit Lodge, a “metaphysical store dedicated D AV I D to awakening your wild joy,” H U D N A L L held a public auction of its inventory. The new-age shop closed after a little more than a year in business at 309 Westport Road. Looking for kyanite crystals and dowsing pendulums? Try online. Spivey’s, toward the western edge of Westport Road, fought the good fight for more years than could possibly be expected of a rare-book and map store in Kansas City. But owner David Spivey is retiring, and his collection of treasures has been liquidated via an online auction. As of 2012, Spivey’s is officially no more, although who knows how long it will take to haul all those 18th-century encyclopedias and 30-pound books about Impressionism out of that cave. The big year-end Westport whopper, though, was the departure of America’s Pub. The club’s lease at Manor Square expired and wasn’t renewed. New Year’s Eve marked the notorious nightclub’s final evening in operation. How is the neighborhood feeling about this? “We’re anxious to see a new tenant join in the revival of Westport as a people-friendly district,” says Colleen Kelly, day manager at Kelly’s Westport Inn. “I don’t think America’s Pub leaving will change the landscape in Westport too much,” says Mike Tiffany, general manager at the Beaumont Club. “I think it’s probably a good idea,” says Jerry Harrington, owner of Tivoli Cinemas. “There’s enough bars in Westport as it is. One less is probably a good thing.” Even Harris Wilder, America’s Pub’s soundbite-generating attorney, is getting in on the civility. “It’s been a clean break with Manor Square so far,” Wilder says. “At this point, Manor Square is being cooperative. We’re doing everything we can to make this a clean break and to let bygones be bygones.” Such diplomacy! You’d almost have no idea how deliriously thrilled Westport is to see America’s Pube — ahem, Pub — packing its bags, or know how bitter America’s Pub is about being run out of an entertainment district in which it has generated high, steady revenues for 18 years. What’s really going on? As anyone with even a peripheral knowlpitch.com

ANGELA C. BOND

January 11

edge of the dynamics in Westport can tell you, sometime around the beginning of this millennium, America’s Pub began attracting an African-American crowd that gradually earned a reputation for unruly, sometimes violent, behavior. Some lowlights: In July 2007, gunshots were fired outside the club, injuring two. And in September 2009, a brawl erupted outside America’s Pub; a police officer on routine duty estimated that 50 people were fighting, and women inside the club were throwing bottles and drinks at each other. In October 2010, 24-year-old Brian Euston was fatally punched outside the club after leaving Kelly’s. Until Euston’s death, most of the fights and trouble at America’s Pub had been confined to its own patrons. But it’s front-page stuff in Kansas City when a young, white male is killed in a major entertainment district by a black man. Prior to that event, cries that Westport was unsafe largely came from white people in the suburbs who read something in the police blotter or saw some thuggish-looking people the last time they were at Kelly’s after a Big 12 game. Nobody takes those people seriously — they’re afraid of everything. But the death of Euston, a Missouri kid raised in the Brookside area, shook a different, less fearful community and gave considerably more credence to the idea that Westport had indeed become a dangerous place to party. Westport can’t afford such bad publicity these days. Once the only game in town, it now competes with the Power & Light District, a shinier, newer destination that’s municipally subsidized to the tune of $10 million to $15 million a year. “I have basic faith in Westport, but without real attention from the city and people who can affect public policy, without that loving attention, Westport will fall further behind,” Wilder says. “Power & Light essentially has an entertainment monopoly. It’s not fair. It’s not right.”

Pillar or pariah, America’s Pub is kaput.

The city’s liquor bureaucracy is fresh on Wilder’s mind as America’s Pub struggles to relocate. P&L isn’t an option. (“Ridiculous, onesided leases — a client would have to fire me before signing a Cordish lease,” Wilder says.) And it’s just about impossible to secure a 3 a.m. liquor license outside the P&L District unless you inherit one at an existing location. Which is what may happen at 510 Westport Road, the now-former address of America’s Pub. “We’ve had two or three people look at it,” says Doug Krtek, property manager of the space. “Some nightlife, some retail and office. At this point, nothing’s official.” Wilder is less guarded on the topic. “Another entity is in discussions with Manor Square to come in and be grandfathered in, and we’d pass our 3 a.m. license at the site on to them,” he says. And then a new day will dawn in Westport, or so seems to be the thinking. The former Chili’s, across from America’s Pub to the west, vacant for more than two years, will look more attractive to tenants, now that there won’t be men in long white T-shirts and women in skintight garb loitering across the way. Things will start to snowball. People will start to feel safe in the area again, and bigger crowds will start trickling back. It’s certainly something to root for. But in the event that this doesn’t happen, it will be interesting to see which direction the fingers point with America’s Pub out of the picture. “It’s hard to get into other people’s heads. I really don’t know what Manor Square is thinking,” Wilder says. “We wish them well. It’s hard to understand a landlord walking away from a stable, well-paying tenant. But clearly they have other plans.” E-mail david.hudnall@pitch.com or call 816-218-6774 pitch.com

MONTH

pitch.com

JANUARY 12-18, 2012

the pitch

music forecast

EVERY WEDNESDAY Lonnie Ray Blues Band EVERY THURSDAY Live Reggae with AZ One FRIDAY, JANUARY 13TH Drew 6 -10:00 pm SATURDAY, JANUARY 14TH Camp Harlow - 5 pm The Good Foot - 10 pm NIGHTLY SPECIALS

FOOD AND DRINK

PATIO & DECK BANQUET & PRIVATE PARTY FACILITY

The Civil Wars (left) and Billy Joe Shaver

The Life and Times, with Major Games and Waiting for Signal Allen Epley is the former frontman of Shiner, one of the more prominent acts associated with the heavy, mathy, post-hardcore sound that wafted out of Kansas City in the 1990s. He’s now the main guy in the Life and Times, a trio that blends his old band’s earth-shaking angularity with dark atmospherics. This show celebrates the release of their new full-length, No One Loves You Like I Do (out this week) and kicks off a short national tour. Wednesday, January 18, at the Riot Room (4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179)

Viva Le Vox, with Joe Buck Yourself Emerging from the wet muck of South Florida, Viva Le Vox is faithfully repping its roots via its vaudevillian swamp-pop aesthetic. Once a quartet, its ranks have recently whittled down to two, but the sound remains lively — a mix of punk and ragtime, complete with accordions and gravelly Tom Waits vocals. Friday, January 13, at Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club (3402 Main, 816-753-1909)

The Civil Wars Joy Williams and John Paul White, the two halves of saccharine chamber-folk act the Civil Wars, met in Nashville at a songwriting camp. Really? Are we sure they weren’t cooked up in some market-research laboratory? Do people this attractive and stylish really attend songwriting camps? Some things we must take on faith. The duo splits the difference between the rugged bombast of Mumford & Sons and the delicate harmonies of Nickel Creek, and the formula is a hit: This show is sold-out. Best head on over to Craigslist if you want tickets. Tuesday, January 17, at Liberty Hall (644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972)

Billy Joe Shaver Billy Joe Shaver has never tasted the success of outlaw country contemporaries Johnny Cash and Merle Haggard. But if we’re talking true outlaw cred, the Texas singer-songwriter has the rest of the pack beat by a country mile: In 2007, Shaver shot another man in the face outside a place called Papa Joe’s Texas Saloon, in Lorena, Texas. In court, Shaver claimed self-

defense. When the prosecution asked him why he didn’t just leave the bar if he felt intimidated, Shaver responded that doing so would have been “chicken shit.” (Before ﬁring away, he reportedly asked the victim, who’s now walking the streets with a bullet permanently lodged in his neck, “Where do you want it?”) Because it’s Texas, and that’s just how things are done down there, Shaver was acquitted. At 72, he’s back on the road, Crazy Heart-style. Sunday, January 15, at Knuckleheads Saloon (2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456)

Her HRC Battle of the Bands A lineup of mostly female acts performs 30-minute sets at this local-band battle, now in its third year. The show, which starts at 2 p.m., is split into acoustic and electric categories (acoustic upstairs, electric downstairs), and all proceeds from the $20 tickets support the Human Rights Campaign, an LGBT advocacy group. Sunday, January 15, at the Cashew (2000 Grand, 816-221-5858)

FO R ECAST K EY BY D AV I D H U D N A L L

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

...................................Pick of the Week

....................................Freak-Show Vibe

.................................... X Chromosomes

....................................... Epic-Sounding

........................................... Tri-Delt Folk

............. Texas Is Not Like Other Places

..................... Middle-Aged Rock Dudes

........................... Post-Mumford & Sons

....................................... Scary Old Man

...........................Handlebar Mustaches

........................................ Worthy Cause

.......................................... Legit Outlaw

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MONTH

pitch.com

JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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concerts Nightlife listings are offered as a service to Pitch readers and are subject to space restrictions. Contact Clubs Editor Abbie Stutzer by e-mail (abbie.stutzer@pitch .com), fax (816-756-0502) or phone (816-218-6926). Continuing items must be resubmitted monthly.

THIS WEEK THURSDAY, JAN. 1 2

JAN 12 THROUGH JAN 19

Bar & Grill WED: Open Jam w/ Syncopation 6pm THU: Ladies Night FRI: KARAOKE, DJ & Drink Specials SAT: Smooth Down Under 8pm SUN: Open Jam w/ Syncopation 6pm MON: closed TUE: OPEN MIC Acoustic Jam 7pm

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Avicii: The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. A Lull, Deleted Scenes: 10 p.m. Replay Lounge, 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676. Lord T & Eloise: 8 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179.

FRIDAY, JAN. 1 3 Dave Aude: Aura, 3832 Main. California Voodoo: 9 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Grand Marquis, Victor & Penny: In the Ballroom. 6 p.m. Californos, 4124 Pennsylvania, 816-531-7878. Shelby Lynne: Folly Theater, 300 W. 12th St., 816-474-4444. Pauly Shore: 7:30 & 9:45 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Viva Le Vox, Joe Buck Yourself: 10 p.m., $8, $10. Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club, 3402 Main, 816-753-1909.

SATURDAY, JAN. 1 4 Allstar Weekend, the After Party: 5:30 p.m. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Pauly Shore: 7 & 9:45 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233.

SUNDAY, JAN. 15 Her HRC Battle of the Bands: The Cashew, 2000 Grand, 816-221-5858. Billy Joe Shaver: 8:30 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Pauly Shore: 7 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater, 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233.

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TUESDAY, JAN. 17 Boondox, Cousin Cleetus, the Drp, Mars, Wicked Wayz, Freddy Grimes, Deranged: The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. The Civil Wars: Sold out. Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972. Nurses: Jackpot Music Hall, 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-832-1085.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 1 8 Drake Bell: The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483. The Life and Times (album-release show), Waiting for Signal, Major Games: 8 p.m., $8, $10. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179.

UPCOMING A Valentine from Bach: 7 p.m. pre-concert talk, Bach Festival with pianist Konstantin Lifschitz, Tue., Feb. 14, 8 p.m. Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway, 816-994-7200. Ryan Adams: Wed., Feb. 1. Municipal Auditorium/Music Hall, 301 W. 13th St. (in the Convention Center Complex), 816-513-5000. Anthony B., Zamunda, Delly Ranx: Sat., Jan. 28, 8 p.m. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Anthrax, Testament, Death Angel: Thu., Jan. 26. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Steve Aoki, Datsik: Tue., Jan. 31. Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway, 816-753-8665. Emilie Autumn: Wed., Jan. 25. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Awolnation, White Wives: Sun., Jan. 22, 7 p.m. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Bach Festival: Tue., Jan. 24. Folly Theater, 300 W. 12th St., 816-474-4444.

THE PITCH

JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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John Berry: Thu., Jan. 19, 8 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Andrew Bird, Eugene Mirman: Fri., March 23. Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway, 816-753-8665. Jared Blake: Thu., Feb. 2, 8 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Blind Pilot: Sat., March 3. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. The Chieftains: Wed., March 7. Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway, 816-994-7200. Childish Gambino, Danny Brown: Tue., April 3. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Children of Bodom, Eluveitie, Revocation, Threat Signal: Mon., Feb. 6. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Cloud Nothings, Mr. Dream, O Giant Man: Mon., March 12, 8 p.m., $10. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Corrosion of Conformity, Torche, Valient Thorr: Fri., March 9, 7 p.m. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Cosmo Baker, Brent Tactic: Fri., Jan. 20, 9 p.m., $5, $7. The Riot Room, 4048 BroadMANY MORE way, 816-442-8179. Cursive, Ume: Fri., March 2, 9 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd., 816-7535207. David Hasselhoff on Acid, ONLINE AT Cherokee Rock Rifle, WaitPITCH.COM ing for Signal, Humans, Versus the Collective, Opossum Trot: Sat., April 14, 6 p.m. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Doomtree: Thu., Jan. 19. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Dr. Dog: Thu., Feb. 2, 8:30 p.m., $15. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. D.R.U.G.S., Hit the Lights, Like Moths to Flames, Sparks the Rescue: Sun., Feb. 19. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Jeff Dunham: Controlled Chaos: Thu., Feb. 2. Sprint Center, 1407 Grand, 816-283-7300. Elephant Revival: Wed., Feb. 22. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483. Estelle: Mon., Feb. 6, 8 p.m. The Riot Room, 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Every Avenue: Thu., Feb. 23. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Excision, Liquid Stranger, Lucky Date: Mon., Feb. 20. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Falling in Reverse, Oh, Sleeper, Skip the Foreplay: Sun., Feb. 5. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Craig Finn: Sat., Feb. 11, 9 p.m. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. The Fresh Beat Band: Fri., Feb. 24, 5 p.m. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Jim Gaffigan: Thu., March 22, 7 & 9:30 p.m. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Galactic: Thu., March 15. Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972. Hail! Hornet, Zoroaster, and Slow Southern Steel (a film): Wed., Feb. 1, 7 p.m. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Hate Eternal, Goatwhore, Fallujah, Troglodyte, Gornography: Wed., Feb. 29, 6:30 p.m., $14. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. The Head & the Heart, Drew Grove & the Pastors’ Wives: Sun., March 4. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Katie Herzig: Mon., March 5. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Hot Chelle Rae, Electric Touch: Tue., May 1, 7 p.m. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. In Flames, Trivium, Veil of Maya, Kyng: Sat., Feb. 11. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Jack’s Mannequin, Jukebox the Ghost, Allen Stone: Fri., Jan. 20. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Junius, O’Brother: Sun., Feb. 26, 8 p.m. Jackpot Music Hall, 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785832-1085. Mat Kearney: Tue., Feb. 7. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. The Kills, Jeff the Brotherhood, Hunters: Sat., Jan. 21. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900.

FIND

CONCERT LISTINGS

The Lemonheads: Fri., Jan. 27. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. LoCash Cowboys, Burford, Lucas Cook: Fri., Feb. 17. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Hamilton Loomis: Sun., Jan. 22, 8 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Los Lonely Boys: Sun., April 29. VooDoo Lounge, Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City, 816-472-7777. Stephen Lynch: Fri., Feb. 17. VooDoo Lounge, Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City, 816-472-7777. M83, I Break Horses: Tue., May 1, 8 p.m., $15. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Mimosa: Sun., Jan. 29, 9 p.m. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Mindless Self Indulgence: Wed., March 21. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Moe: Sun., Feb. 12. Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972. Mutemath: Thu., Feb. 16. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. The Naked and Famous: Tue., April 17. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Needtobreathe, Ben Rector: Sun., March 11. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. The Old 97’s: Wed., Feb. 1. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483. Brad Paisley: Thu., Jan. 19, 7:30 p.m. Sprint Center, 1407 Grand, 816-283-7300. Puscifer: Tue., March 6. Municipal Auditorium/Music Hall, 301 W. 13th St. (in the Convention Center Complex), 816-513-5000. Psychostick, Ventana, As Summer Dies, Circus of Dead Squirrels, In the Shadow, High Rise Robots: Wed., Feb. 15, 6:30 p.m. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Punch Brothers: Sat., March 3. Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972. Radiohead: Sun., March 11. Sprint Center, 1407 Grand, 816-283-7300. Railroad Earth: Wed., Feb. 8. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Reverend Horton Heat, Larry and His Flask, the Goddamn Gallows: Sat., Feb. 25. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483. Right Between the Ears: Sat., Feb. 11. Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972. Randy Rogers Band, Kip Moore, Sam Sliva and the Good, Travis Marvin: Sat., Jan. 28, 6 p.m. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Rusko, Nmzee: Wed., Feb. 29. Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-1972. Sabaton, Ancient Creation: Thu., April 19. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. SOJA, the Movement, Kids These Days: Thu., Feb. 23. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483. JD Souther: Sat., Jan. 28. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Stoned Coe Picnic: David Allan Coe, Levee Town, Mary Bridget Davies: Fri., April 20. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. George Strait, Martina McBride: Sat., Feb. 25. Sprint Center, 1407 Grand, 816-283-7300. Supersuckers, the Spittin’ Cobras: Wed., Feb. 8. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483. Symphony X, Iced Earth, Warbringer: Sun., Feb. 26. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. This Will Destroy You: Mon., Jan. 30, 9 p.m. Jackpot Music Hall, 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-832-1085. Paul Thorn and Ruthie Foster: Wed., March 28. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Tomorrows Bad Seeds, Pacific Dub: Wed., Feb. 15. The Bottleneck, 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-5483. Josh Turner: Thu., March 1, 6 p.m. Uptown Theater, 3700 Broadway, 816-753-8665. The Ultimate Doo-Wop Show: the Contours, Sylvester Potts, Jimmy Clanton, the Marcels, the Edsels, Paul & Paula, the Volumes, the Eldorados, Blue Suede Orchestra: Fri., March 2. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. VNV Nation, Straftanz: Thu., March 1. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Jimmy Webb, Bob Walkenhorst, Jeff Porter: Fri., Feb. 10. Knuckleheads Saloon, 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Ron White: Sat., March 10, 7 & 9:30 p.m. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Whitechapel, Miss May I, After the Burial, the Plot in You, Structures: Fri., March 16, 6:30 p.m. The Beaumont Club, 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-561-2560. Whitehorse: Fri., March 9. RecordBar, 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. William Elliott Whitmore, Drakkar Sauna, Horse Weapons, Me for Radness: Fri., Feb. 10, 8:30 p.m., $10 advance, $12 door. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390. Young the Giant, Grouplove: Fri., March 30. The Midland, 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Youth Lagoon: Mon., March 12. Jackpot Music Hall, 943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-832-1085. Zola Jesus: Fri., Feb. 24. The Granada, 1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-842-1390.

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MONTH

County’s COMING SOON! Johnson NEWEST

MUSIC

HOT SPOT {formerly The Buzzz}

LIVE MUSIC

WED 1/11 RICK BACKUS TRIO 7:30-1PM FRI 1/13 MONSTERS INC. 7:30-11PM

MON 1/16 SONS OF BRAZIL & STAN KESSLER 7:30-11PM TUE 1/17 DAVE HAYES BAND 7:30-11PM

12056 W. 135th St. OPKS | 913-239-9666

THREADZ BY HEADZ FOR THE HEADS

CLOTHING - JEWELRY ACCESSORIES - ART 1607 Westport Rd. KCMO 816-442-8400 Mon - Thurs 12-9pm • Fri - Sat 12-10pm • Sun 12-6pm

Mon - Thurs 12-9pm • Fri - Sat 12-10pm • Sun 12-6pm

SATURDAY JANUARY 14TH

7300 W. 119TH ST. OVERLAND PARK, KS 66213

913.451.0444 pitch.com

JANUARY 12-18, 2012

the pitch

nightlife T H U R S DAY 1 2 ROCK/POP/INDIE RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Empty Spaces, Dsoedean, Millions of Boys, 9 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. John Paul’s Flying Circus. Fat Fish Blue: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-3474. Phil Callier. Mike Kelly’s Westsider: 1515 Westport Rd., 816-9319417. The Lonnie Ray Blues Jam.

DJ 77 South: 5041 W. 135th St., Leawood, 913-742-7727. DJ Mike Watts. Dark Horse Tavern: 4112 Pennsylvania, 816-931-3663. DJ Beatbroker.

HIP-HOP Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-7491387. Chirpin’!: Hip-Hop at the Jazz.

Bar West: 7174 Renner Rd., Shawnee, 913-248-9378. Travelers Guild. The Brooksider: 6330 Brookside Plz., 816-363-4070. Patrick Lentz Band. Clarette Club: 5400 Martway, Mission, 913-384-0986. Dru & the Geezers. Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Bowinero, Me Like Bees, 9 p.m. Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-894-9676. The Stolen Winnebagos. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785749-7676. The Bootheel, 10 p.m. The Roxy: 7230 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-2366211. Charlie & the Stingrays. The Well: 7421 Broadway, 816-361-1700. The Yawpers.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Bobby Smith Blues Band. Fat Fish Blue: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-3474. Blue Trip. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-7491387. Kris Lager Band. Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Mary Bridget Davies, Junebug & the Porchlights, 8 p.m. Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816220-1222. Harper.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785841-5483. Tyler Gregory, the Fall Down Drunks. Wil Jenny’s Tables and Tap: 6700 W. 135th St., Overland Park, 913-897-1114. Rick Hill, 8 p.m.

ACOUSTIC Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-221-2244. Ben Rekittke, Cody Wyoming, 7 p.m.

DJ The Union of Westport: 421 Westport Rd. Shaun Duval, Ray Wells.

JAZZ The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. The Sons of Brasil, 7 p.m.

AMERICANA Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. King Harvest on the Main Stage, 8 p.m.

PRAYING FOR SNOW?!

DRUNKEN DISTR ACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785841-5483. Heavy Metal Bingo. Bulldog: 1715 Main, 816-421-4799. Brodioke, 9 p.m. Buzzard Beach: 4110 Pennsylvania, 816-753-4455. Trivia, Ladies’ Night, 7 p.m. Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar: 4115 Mill, 816-5612444. “You Sing It” Live Band Karaoke. Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-8421919. Charity Bingo with Valerie Versace, 8 p.m. Hurricane Allie’s Bar and Grill: 5541 Merriam Dr., Shawnee, 913-217-7665. Ultimate DJ Karaoke, 8:30 p.m. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. National Showcase, 7:30 p.m. MoJo’s Bar & Grill: 1513 S.W. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs. Pool and dart leagues; happy hour, free pool, 4-6 p.m. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Trivia Clash, 7 p.m., $5. Social Bar: 1118 McGee, 816-472-4900. Karaoke, 9 p.m.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS

ARTFUL FROZEN COCKTAILS Made from scratch High end spirits Unique frozen cocktails hihihihih

snowandcompany.com

Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-221-2244. Vi Tran and Katie Gilchrist’s Weekly Jam, 10 p.m. Harleys & Horses: 7210 N.E. 43rd St., 816-452-2660. Open Jam with JD Summers featuring Jeremy Butcher and the Bail Jumpers. The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. Karaoke Open Mic, 8 p.m. The Indie on Main: 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Open Mic, Low Dough Beer Night, 8 p.m. Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816525-1871. Jerry’s Jam Night, 9 p.m.

SINGER-SONGWRITER Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Sky Smeed, Tyler Gregory in the Retro Lounge, 8 p.m.

hihihihih

1815 Wyandotte | 816.214.8921 Just two blocks South of the new Kauffman Performing Arts Center

VARIET Y The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. KC Songwriter Forum, 7-9 p.m., free.

F R I DAY 1 3 ROCK/POP/INDIE Aftershock Bar & Grill: 5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam, 913-384-5646. Music Fest 2012, 9 p.m.

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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JAZZ The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Indigo Hour, 5:30 p.m.; Charles Williams Quartet, 8:30 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Dan Doran Trio, 10 p.m. Take Five Coffee + Bar: 5336 W. 151st St., Overland Park, 913-948-5550. Blackhouse Improvisors’ Collective.

Mike Kelly’s Westsider: 1515 Westport Rd., 816-9319417. Old Band Wallace. The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Federation of Horsepower, TILTS, Drop a Grand, U.S. Americans, 9 p.m. The Well: 7421 Broadway, 816-361-1700. Cherry Bomb.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Mama Ray Jazz Meets Blues Jam, 2 p.m.; DC Bellamy, 9 p.m. Fat Fish Blue: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-3474. The Scotty Boy Daniel Blues Band. Freddy T’s: 2111 E. Crossroads Ln., Olathe, 913-7803900. Rick Hill’s Blues Band, 9 p.m. Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Atlantic Express, 8 p.m. The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. The Good Foot, 10 p.m. The Phoenix Jazz Club: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-2215299. The Brody Buster Band, 9 p.m. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. The Green Goddammits, the Proliﬁc, Secret Levels, 9 p.m.

DJ 77 South: 5041 W. 135th St., Leawood, 913-742-7727. DJ Malaka. The Eighth Street Taproom: 801 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-6918. DJ Candlepants. VooDoo Lounge: Harrah’s Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., North Kansas City, 816-472-7777. DJ Kevin Scott, 10 p.m., $5.

JAZZ The Blue Room: 1616 E. 18th St., 816-474-8463. Interstring. Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Midtown Quartet, 7 p.m. The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-2211888. Joe DeFio, 5 p.m. Take Five Coffee + Bar: 5336 W. 151st St., Overland Park, 913-948-5550. T.J. Martley Trio, 8 p.m.

AMERICANA The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Starhaven Rounders, Dollar Fox, Jay Kakert, 8 p.m.

AMERICANA

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS

The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. The Clementines. Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-221-2244. The Blackbird Revue, Margo May, the Tornadoes, 9 p.m.

Coda: 1744 Broadway, 816-569-1747. Tinhorn Molly, the Crybaby Ranch, 9:30 p.m. Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-221-2244. The Scott Ford Band, Drew Davis, the Magniﬁcent Bang Bangs, a welcome home party for the troops, 9 p.m., $7, free with military ID.

DRUNKEN DISTR ACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. Karaoke, DJ, drink specials. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. The Early Girlie Show, 8 p.m., free; Ab Fab Fridays on the main ﬂoor, 10 p.m. MoJo’s Bar & Grill: 1513 S.W. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs. Happy hour, free pool, 4-6 p.m. Power & Light District: 14th Street and Main, 816-8421045. Downtown Is Happy, $1 beers at Johnny’s Tavern, McFadden’s Sports Saloon, MANY MORE Pizza Bar, Tengo Sed Cantina, and Fuego, 4-6 p.m. Retro Downtown Drinks & Dance: 1518 McGee, 816421-4201. Trivia Riot, 7 p.m. VooDoo Lounge: Harrah’s ONLINE AT Casino, 1 Riverboat Dr., PITCH.COM North Kansas City, 816-4727777. Flirt Friday, 9 p.m. Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-9311986. Deelightful karaoke.

FIND

CLUB LISTINGS

VARIET Y The Beaumont Club: 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-5612560. Friday the 13th Turntable FM Party, 9 p.m.

S AT U R DAY 1 4 ROCK/POP/INDIE Aftershock Bar & Grill: 5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam, 913-384-5646. Music Fest 2012, 9 p.m. The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785841-5483. The Rackatees, the Faded Age. The Brooksider: 6330 Brookside Plz., 816-363-4070. Sellout, 10 p.m. Harleys & Horses: 7210 N.E. 43rd St., 816-452-2660. Snafu. Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816525-1871. Nervous Rex. The Levee: 16 W. 43rd St., 816-561-2821. Camp Harlow, 5 p.m.

DRUNKEN DISTR ACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES Hamburger Mary’s: 101 Southwest Blvd., 816-8421919. Maryoke, 9 p.m; Charity Bingo, 5 p.m. The Indie on Main: 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Karaoke with KJ David, 9:30 p.m. MoJo’s Bar & Grill: 1513 S.W. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs. Happy hour, free pool, 1-4 p.m. Wallaby’s Grill and Pub: 9562 Lackman, Lenexa, 913541-9255. Karaoke, 9 p.m. Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-9311986. Deelightful karaoke, 9 p.m.

S U N DAY 1 5 ROCK/POP/INDIE The Eighth Street Taproom: 801 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785-841-6918. Jared Reck, Dr. Octor, Knives, 10 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Lee McBee and the Confessors. Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816220-1222. Jahman Brahman.

DRUNKEN DISTR ACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785841-5483. Smackdown Trivia and Karaoke. Bulldog: 1715 Main, 816-421-4799. Game night, beer pong, TV trivia, shot dice. Clarette Club: 5400 Martway, Mission, 913-384-0986. Texas Hold ’em, 7 & 10 p.m. Fuel: 7300 W. 119th St., Overland Park, 913-451-0444. SIN. Hurricane Allie’s Bar and Grill: 5541 Merriam Dr., Shawnee, 913-217-7665. Double Deuce Poker League, 4 p.m.; Ultimate DJ Karaoke, 8:30 p.m. Jake’s Place Bar and Grill: 12001 Johnson Dr., Shawnee, 913-962-5253. Free pool, 3 p.m.

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MONTH

JR’s Place: 20238 W. 151st St., Olathe, 913-254-1307. Karaoke with Mad Mike, 9:30 p.m. McFadden’s Sports Saloon: 1330 Grand, 816-4711330. Sindustry Sundays, 8 p.m. Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-4923900. Free pool. Wallaby’s Grill and Pub: 9562 Lackman, Lenexa, 913541-9255. Texas Hold ’em, 6 & 9 p.m.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. Open Blues and Funk Jam with Syncopation, 6 p.m. The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. Open blues jam. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-7491387. Speakeasy Sunday, 10 p.m., $3. Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456. Open Jam with Levee Town, 2 p.m., free. R.G.’s Lounge: 9100 E. 35th St., Independence, 816-358-5777. Jam Night hosted by Dennis Nickell, Scotty Yates, Rick Eidson, and Jan Lamb, 5 p.m.

VARIET Y The Beaumont Club: 4050 Pennsylvania, 816-5612560. Gorilla Battle of the Bands, 4 p.m. RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Art Battle, 7 p.m.

M O N DAY 1 6 ROCK/POP/INDIE The Bottleneck: 737 New Hampshire, Lawrence, 785841-5483. Gabe Dixon, Lelia Broussard.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL The Phoenix Jazz Club: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-2215299. Millie Edwards and Michael Pagan, 7 p.m.

DJ The Riot Room: 4048 Broadway, 816-442-8179. Cinemaphonic with DJ Stevie Cruz, DJ Cyan Meeks, free.

JAZZ Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Jazzbo.

DRUNKEN DISTRACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Karaoke with Nanci Pants; Rural Grit Happy Hour, 6 p.m. Clarette Club: 5400 Martway, Mission, 913-384-0986. Texas Hold ’em, 7 & 10 p.m. Harleys & Horses: 7210 N.E. 43rd St., 816-452-2660. Magic Mondays with Jason Dean. The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. Industry night. Missie B’s: 805 W. 39th St., 816-561-0625. MANic Monday on the main ﬂoor, 10 p.m., free. Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd., 816-9311986. Texas Hold ’em, Mondays, 8 p.m.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Czar: 1531 Grand, 816-221-2244. Grand Jam hosted by Supermassive Black Holes, 9 p.m.

VARIET Y Californos: 4124 Pennsylvania, 816-531-7878. Opera Supper, 6-9 p.m.

T U E S DAY 17 ROCK/POP/INDIE Jerry’s Bait Shop: 302 S.W. Main, Lee’s Summit, 816525-1871. Drew6. Replay Lounge: 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785749-7676. Daymoths, 10 p.m. Tomfooleries: 612 W. 47th St., 816-753-0555. The Transients, 9 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Trampled Under Foot.

ROOTS/COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. Run Little Rabbit, 3 Dollars, 6 p.m.

DJ The Gusto Lounge: 504 Westport Rd., 816-974-8786. The Dropout Boogie, 10 p.m., free.

JAZZ The Majestic Restaurant: 931 Broadway, 816-2211888. Bram Wijnands, 6 p.m.

DRUNKEN DISTR ACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Clash of the Comics, 7:30 p.m. Johnny’s Tavern: 13410 W. 62nd Terr., Shawnee, 913962-5777. Bingo Boogie Nights, 9 p.m. MoJo’s Bar & Grill: 1513 S.W. Hwy. 7, Blue Springs. Pool and dart leagues; happy hour, free pool, 4-6 p.m. Saints Pub + Patio: 9720 Quivira, Lenexa, 913-4923900. Karaoke, 9 p.m. Tower Tavern: 401 E. 31st St., 816-931-9300. Trivia.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. Open Mic Acoustic Jam. Freddy T’s: 2111 E. Crossroads Ln., Olathe, 913-7803900. Knock Kneed Sally Open Blues Jam, 7:30 p.m. The Phoenix Jazz Club: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-2215299. Open Jam with Everette DeVan, 7 p.m. Stanford’s Comedy Club: 1867 Village West Pkwy., Kansas City, Kan., 913-400-7500. Open Mic Night.

VARIET Y The Brick: 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634. Blarney Stoned, count down to St. Patrick’s Day, Irish toast contest.

W E D N E S DAY 1 8 ROCK/POP/INDIE RecordBar: 1020 Westport Rd., 816-753-5207. The Slowdown, Daymoths, Baitﬁsh, 9 p.m.; Bob Walkenhorst, 7 p.m.

BLUES/FUNK/SOUL B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ: 1205 E. 85th St., 816-822-7427. Shinetop Jr. Jazz: 1823 W. 39th St., 816-531-5556. Billy Ebeling. The Phoenix Jazz Club: 302 W. Eighth St., 816-2215299. The Brian Ruskin Quartet, 7 p.m. Trouser Mouse: 625 N.W. Mock Ave., Blue Springs, 816220-1222. Salty Dawg.

DJ Buzzard Beach: 4110 Pennsylvania, 816-753-4455. Live DJ, midnight. Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club: 3402 Main, 816-7531909. Punker than Hell, 10 p.m.

DRUNKEN DISTR ACTIONS/COMEDY/ BAR GAMES Angels Rock Bar: 1323 Walnut, 816-896-3943. Wednesdays Reloaded: Service Industry Night. Beer Kitchen: 435 Westport Rd., 816-389-4180. Brodioke. Danny’s Bar and Grill: 13350 College Blvd., Lenexa, 913345-9717. Trivia and karaoke with DJ Smooth, 8 p.m. Harleys & Horses: 7210 N.E. 43rd St., 816-452-2660. Karaoke with DJ/VJ Hambone, Ladies’ Night. Improv Comedy Club and Dinner Theater: 7260 N.W. 87th St., 816-759-5233. Devin Henderson’s Mind Madness, 7:30 p.m. The Indie on Main: 1228 Main, 816-283-9900. Karaoke. JR’s Place: 20238 W. 151st St., Olathe, 913-254-1307. Karaoke with the Queen, 9:30 p.m.-1 a.m. Outabounds Sports Bar & Grill: 3601 Broadway, 816214-8732. Karaoke with DJ Chad, 9 p.m. The Roxy: 7230 W. 75th St., Overland Park, 913-2366211. Karaoke. The Union of Westport: 421 Westport Rd. Pop Culture Trivia.

OPEN MIC/JAM SESSIONS Bleachers Bar & Grill: 210 S.W. Greenwich Dr., Lee’s Summit, 816-623-3410. Open Blues and Funk Jam with Syncopation, 7 p.m. The Hideout: 6948 N. Oak Tfwy., 816-468-0550. Open blues jam, 7 p.m. Jazzhaus: 926-1/2 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-7491387. Acoustic Open Mic with Tyler Gregory. Jerry’s Bait Shop: 13412 Santa Fe Trail Dr., Lenexa, 913-894-9676. Jam Night, 9 p.m. Tonahill’s 3 of a Kind: 11703 E. 23rd St., Independence, 816833-5021. Open Jam hosted by Crossthread, 7:30 p.m.

R O C K A B I L LY Aftershock Bar & Grill: 5240 Merriam Dr., Merriam, 913-384-5646. KC Jamboree with DJ Hepkat. Knuckleheads Saloon: 2715 Rochester, 816-4831456. Miss Major and Her Minor Mood Swings, the Bullhaulers, 7:30 p.m.

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

the pitch

“THE

ORGASM REBELLION”

savage love

An erotic novel

by former KC Star columnist

FRANK LINGO

Avail. only as an ebook on the major sellers. incl. Amazon, iTunes etc.

“Rick” “Santorum” Dear Dan: I remember reading your definition of “santorum”—“the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex” — and thinking it was a cute way to make fun of a dickhead politician. But Rick Santorum is in the spotlight again. And so is that frothy mixture. And that’s fucking awesome. Jeff in Wisconsin Dear JIW: Don’t thank me. Thank Rick Santorum for making his bigotry crystal-clear in a 2003 interview with the Associated Press. Santorum equated conBY sensual gay sex with child rape and dog fucking. He said birth DAN control should be illegal, and S AVA G E argued that states should be able to arrest, prosecute and imprison people — gay and straight — for private, consensual sex acts. Thank the Savage Love reader who urged me to invite my readers to submit new definitions for Santorum’s last name. And thank the readers who selected the definition from a crowded field of equally repulsive candidates. I counted the ballots and created a website (spreadingsantorum.com). But if it weren’t for my creative and hilarious readers, a distressing news cycle wouldn’t have been leavened by such unintentionally hilarious headlines as “Santorum Surges From Behind,” “Santorum Runs Hard” and “Romney Squeezes Out Santorum.” Dear Dan: Dan Savage is one sick, pathetic excuse for a human being. Truly a sad piece of sh*t. Especially trying to “insert himself” — pun intended — into the GOP presidential race. Savage Isn’t Completely Kind Dear SICK: We redefined “santorum” back in 2003, long before Santorum was running for president. It would be more accurate to say the GOP presidential race has inserted itself into me. And I hope there isn’t any santorum on the GOP presidential race when it pulls out of me — that would be so embarrassing! Also embarrassing: Elise Foley’s gushing profile of Elizabeth Santorum, Rick’s adult daughter, that appeared in Huffington Post before the Iowa caucuses. “It is tough [being] a young surrogate for a candidate/father clinging to an older worldview,” Foley writes. “Her father’s stance on same-sex marriage and gay rights, in particular, has caused some friction from non-supporters. ‘It’s a policy thing,’ [Elizabeth Santorum] said of gay marriage. … Opposed to same-sex marriage herself, Elizabeth said she has gay friends who support her father’s candidacy based on his economic and family platforms.” Yeah, it’s tough out there. Rick Santorum was nearly booed off a stage in New Hampshire after he insisted that legalizing gay marriage would 30

THE PITCH

JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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lead to the legalization of polygamous marriage. But, hey, Elizabeth Santorum isn’t a bigot. She has gay friends! And her gay friends support her dad! Who are these gay people who support Santorum despite his promises to write antigay bigotry into the U.S. Constitution, forcibly divorce all legally married same-sex couples in the United States, reinstate Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and ban adoptions by same-sex couples? To Foley and the other political reporters out there: When someone like Elizabeth Santorum tells you that she has gay friends and her gay friends support her dad based on his “family platforms,” your immediate response should be a demand for the names and phone numbers of these gay friends. Verify their existence because you’re a journalist, not a stenographer. You’ll catch the homophobe in a lie or land a fascinating interview with a crazy-ass faggot. Dear Dan: A friend says your campaign to redefine “santorum” flies in the face of your anti-bullying “It Gets Better” campaign. Google Problems Dear GP: Taking the piss out of a middle-aged bigot who has repeatedly attacked a tiny minority is not the moral equivalent of beating the shit out of a vulnerable and isolated 13-year-old queer kid in rural Texas who is a member of that tiny minority. And circling back to Elizabeth Santorum on HuffPo: “[Elizabeth] is aware of her father’s so-called ‘Google problem,’ part of a campaign by columnist Dan Savage … ‘That just makes me sad. It’s disappointing that people can be that mean,’ she said.” You know what makes me sad? Reading about Janice Langbehn and Lisa Pond. Together 18 years, the women were vacationing in Florida in 2007 with three of their four children when Pond suffered an aneurysm. Langbehn and the children were barred from Pond’s room at the hospital. A social worker informed Langbehn that they were in an “anti-gay city and state.” Lisa Pond was not a “policy thing.” Her wife and children were prevented from saying goodbye to her as she lay dying. Elizabeth and her father are trying to make sure that other families headed by same-sex couples will suffer as Pond’s family did. It is disappointing how mean some people can be, Elizabeth. Dear Dan: Time to follow through on your threat to redefine “rick,” Dan. Matt Via Twitter Dear MVT: Already done: To “rick” is to remove something with your tongue — the “r” from “remove,” the “ick” from “lick” — making “rick santorum” the most disgusting two-word sentence in the English language after “vote Republican.” Have a question for Dan Savage? E-mail him at mail@savagelove.net

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Topless super busty mixed beauty. $100 special. 30, 60, 90 min & prostate 913-704-9390 or 816-783-7575.

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*Classy Dolls* Sexy, topless Barbies providing exotic body rubs & dance $100 Special 816-349-7676 Afternoon Delight rejuvenating rub with erotic expectant exotic beauty In/out 913-999-7877 Body 2 Body Rub One on One sensuous touch, sexy busty Italian, No rush Renee 913-562-4189 HONEST AD. I'm an average, but nice looking lady. 40, 5'4" 140 lbs, blue eyes, red hair, 34B-24-34. No Saturdays. Mature gentlemen pref. $100 Sandy 816-523-0590 9a-10p

NEW LOCATION

Goddesses Relaxation Palace come relax and be pampered by us the right way!! All Attractive Therapist! Helping KC Relax for over 12 years ASK ABOUT SPECIALS by appt. only!! 6am-8:30pm in call 8am to 2am out call Mature only Metro Area Out Call Grandview & Downtown In Call

5960 Phone Entertainment $10 BEST PHONE SEX $10 Asian Nymphs; Ebony Hotties; 40+Ladies; Barely Legal Coeds; Or Fetish & Fantasy. Just call: 1-866-515-FOXY (3699) U CHOOSE THE MODEL MEET GAY & BI LOCALS Browse & Respond FREE! 913-780-5200 FREE Code 5929, 18+

Hot Guys! Hot Chat! Hot Fun! Call FREE! 816-533-0046 or 800-698-6986 18+ interactivemale.com Real, Discreet, Local Connections. Call FREE! 816-533-0048 or 800-210-1010 18+ livelinks.com SEXY LOCAL SINGLES Reply To Ads FREE! 913768-1200 FREE Code 7785, 18+

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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5965 Adult Employment

BACCALA' STRIP CLUB NOW HIRING DANCERS Contact Frank 7pm-3am Mon-Sat 816-231-3150

5805 Licensed Massage ADAM'S DEEP TISSUE & BODYWORK NOW OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK! Pvt Studio Away From Home, St. Joe, MO Nationally Board Certified Masseur since 2004 AdamsDeepTissue.com AdamsDeepTissue@live.c om PH: 816-390-3601 HOTEL OUTCALL SERVICE! The best hour (or 2!) of your week! A luxurious full body massage by female massage therapist. JUST 5 MINUTES SOUTH OF DOWNTOWN OFF I-35 Private Studio Incall Hotel Outcall 816-916-9179 6am to Midnight Daily

MASSAGE THERAPY MAYUMI Licensed JapaneseTherapist. Shiatsu/Deep Tissue/ Swedish 816-510-2788 Appt. call or txt 2110W. 75th St. PV, KS 66208

CASH FOR CARS Wanted / Unwanted Autos, Wrecked, Damaged or Broken. Cash Paid abcautorecycling.com 913-271-9406

RELAXATION MASSAGE 816-896-9344 or 913-236-6733 In/Out lic#PV04-wilk

CASH PAID FOR JUNK/UNWANTED VEHICLES. Call J.G.S. Auto Wrecking For Quote 913-321-2716 or Toll Free 1-877-320-2716

5420 Auto/Trucks A Classic Beauty, A Great Ride. 1 Owner...30K!!! 1970 Chevy Malibu, Excellent Condition Sapphire Blue w/ White Top $7,350 OBO 816-377-2098 or 816-753-4082 5505 Automotive Services **************** DONATE YOUR CAR! Tax Write-off/Fast Pickup Running or not. Cancer Fund Of America. (888) 269-6482 Transmission, General Auto Repair, Diagnostics. 4 Aces Auto Repair 816-241-9030

U-PICK-IT SELF SERVICE AUTO PARTS $$ Paying Top Dollar $$ For Junk Cars & Trucks Missouri: 816-241-7548 Kansas: 913-321-1000 5520 Financial Services GET $50 CASH NOW With paid tax preparation valid 1-11-12 thru 2-14-12 Liberty Tax Service Kansas City 906 W. 39th Street 816-759-6700 or Roeland Park 4994 Roe Blvd 913-384-1040 libertyTax.com 5525 Legal Services $99 DIVORCE $99 Simple, Uncontested + Filing Fee. Don Davis. 816-531-1330 ACCURSO & LETT LAW FIRM Experienced & Affordable Traffic Law, Criminal Defense, Family Law, DWI Defense, Bankruptcy, Restraining Orders. 100 Grand, KCMO 816-587-4LAW 19105 Overbrook, Leawood, KS - 913-402-6069 AccursoandLett.com KCDefenseLawyer.com AFFORDABLE FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY Divorce, child custody and support, paternity. KS & MO. 816-842-6700. HeartlandLawyer.com The choice of a lawyer is important and should not be based solely upon advertisements. BANKRUPTCY RELIEF FREE CONSULTATION KS and MO Chapter 7 and 13. Heartland Law LLC. 816-842-6700. HeartlandLawyer.com. We are a debt relief agency helping people file for bankruptcy under the Code. The choice of a lawyer is important and should not be solely based on advertisement.

Law Offices of David M. Lurie DWI, SOLICITATION, TRAFFIC DEFENSE, INTERNET-BASED CRIMES 816-221-5900 http://www.the-law.com U.S. Immigration Law Free consulations, reasonable fees.Service member and repeat client discounts. Law Office of Joseph W. Alfred 913-538-6720 www.lojwa.com 5530 Misc. Services WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests. Send details to P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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5536 Child Care

TEACHERS AID

NEEDED FOR WEST PLAZA PRESCHOOL Please Apply in Person Anytime 1617 W. 45th Street KCMO 64111 816-753-2973 5537 Adoptions A LOVING couple dreams of adopting your newborn. Promising secure life, forever love. Ann & Bob 800-595-0992 Expenses Paid. 5610 Musician Services

$30/HOUR STUDIO TIME Prepay Only BRAND NEW STUDIO! Credit/Debit Available Call Dan Smith 816-214-6088 BE A PROFESSIONAL Music Engineer/ Producer 2-Year Certificate Program CALL NOW For Winter Enrollment Starting January. For Information & Tour Call BRC Audio 913-621-2300 www.brcaudio.com 5625 Plug The Band

LAST CALL & THE ROCK SHOW 1000 + LASERS GO GO DANCERS MULTI AWARD WINNING ROCK BAND A MUST SEE PERFORMANCE FOR BOOKINGS & MORE INFORMATION 913-963-1952 5810 Health & Wellness: General Auto Insurance STARTING @ $40 SR22,, non-owners Life & Health Insurance MO: 816-531-1000 KS: 913-239-0900 www.KCinsurance.com 5815 Mind-Body-Spirit

5105 Career / Training / Schools

Campaign Jobs! To Protect our Civil Liberties. Pay: $300-$500/week Work with Grassroots Campaigns, Inc. to fight for LGBT rights and fight discrimination Full time/part time/Career Call Rich at 816-960-7296 LEARN BARTENDING!! Big fun, Big money, Two week program-Job placement assistance FT, PT, Parties, Weddings, Always in demand! International School of Professional Bartending Call 816-753-3900 TODAY !! Career Education. THE OCEAN Corp. 10840 Rockley Road, Houston, Texas 77099. Train for a new career. *Underwater Welder. Commercial Diver. *NDT/Weld Inspector. Job Placement Assistance. Financial Aid avail for those who qualify 1.800.321.0298 5130 Entertainment Jobs Talking on the job again? Are you friendly, flirty, and love to talk? Then come work for a long-standing national entertainment company that offers the highest starting pay in the industry! Hourly base pay rate of $9 - $10 with opportunity for bonuses. Dont be misled by deceptive ads and empty promises. Get paid by the hour, not by the minute or call. No trolling, no dispatch. There are day and evening shifts available for both P/T & F/T positions. www.blvdent.com (800)211-3152 5167 Restaurant / Hotel / Club Jobs BECOME A BARTENDER! Up to $300 a day. No exp. necessary. Training Course Available. 1-800-965-6520 x 270. 5172 Sales & Marketing Jobs Entry Level Sales/Marketing No Exp. needed/ Training Provided/ Opportunity to Advance to MGMT. Submit Resume at www.mp-inc.org under contact us or call 816912-2890 5177 Salon Jobs

GREAT WESTPORT LOCATION Chair rental for Hair Stylist Starting Bonus. 816.561.6044

PSYCHIC ERICA'S PSYCHIC STUDIO AstrologyCrystal-Palm-Tarot. Reunites lovers. Helps problems. Never fails. No false promises. Call 816-965-7125 Member of the BBB

Lenexa Salon Seeks Independent Contractor For Booth Rental. Established Clinetele Needed. Call Jaime at 913-558-2242

5185 Misc. Jobs An Outstanding Oppty for the right reliable, mature 2 people to assist owner w/ upkeep of a quiet, 6 unit apt bldg. In exge for lght duties, you get minimal rent for an extrmly lrg apt / home. 2bdrm, 1.5 bath. All Amenities. Secured Parking for 2 cars inc. Non Smkrs only. For message line alw 6 rings 8167534082 or after 4pm 8163772098

ATTENTION: EX-OFFENDERS & AT RISK JOB SEEKERS Do You Need Job Placement Assistance?

Do You Need Housing? Do You Need Your Criminal Record Expunged?

Wills, Divorces, Child Support, Civil & Criminal Motions Filed. Contact: Beyond The Conviction for these and other Career and Life Barrier Removal services. (Some service fees apply) 816-842-4975 or 816-718-7423 beyondtheconviction.or g NOW HIRING FOR KU BASKETBALL CONCERTS CONVENTIONS Event Staff, Ushers Ticket Takers Apply in person: 4050 Pennsylvania Ste.111 KCMO or apply online: www.crowdsystems.com Over 18? A canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss limited opportunity to travel with a successful young business group. Paid training. Transp / lodging provided. Unlimited income potential. Call 1-877-646-5050 Undercover Shoppers Get paid to shop. Retail/Dining establishments need undercover clients to judge quality/ customer service. Earn up to $150 a day. Call (800)722-6351 5190 Business Opportunities www.MoneyMakingClub. ORG

$12,000+ / month attainable (913) 526-5150

EARN MONEY NOW You can earn money now with your own online retail business with Reliv. Do you have enough energy? Go to: my24kvip.com Use code: 24kwinners Receive 1020% discount 1-888-315-4595 MYSTERY SHOPPERS Get Paid To Shop! Retail/Dining Establishments Need Undercover Clients To Judge Quality/Customer Service. Earn Up To $150 A Day. Call 877-737-7559

www.MoneyMakingClub.ORG $12,000+ / month attainable (913) 526-5150

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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Real Estate

5210 Homes For Sale ALL AREAS ALL PRICES 913-381-6789 www.kcmlslistings.com Western Auto Loft, 1bed 1bath Hardwoods, granite, garden unit With large patio, 150s. Wont last long!!! Sharon Sigman 913-381-6789 KS-STRAWBERRY HILL $57,500 913-302-1888 Nice 3 Bedroom, 2 Bath Home. 2 Car Garage, Central Air, Appliances Included. Close to Downtown & TOTALLY REDONE.

FREE ONLINE ADS & PHOTOS AT KC.BACKPAGE.COM TO PLACE YOUR AD TODAY, CALL 816.218.6721

MO-DOWNTOWN $775-$950 816.421.5421 Best deal for cool downtown loft This building has it all: covered parking, w/d, granite, sun deck, huge windows, brick walls, views. 2 left. Call Brandon Now! 5315 Condos Duplexes & Townhomes MO-NKC $650 816-531-2555 308 E. 26th Ave. 2 bedroom duplex, appliances, garage

MO-SOUTH KC $425 816-756-2380 9517 Charlotte (Bannister area) MOVE IN SPECIAL!!! 2 BR, 1 BA Duplex. Hardwood/carpet, C/A.

KS-KU MED

5317 Apartments For Rent

KS-SHAWNEE $575-$595 913-671-8218 Move-in Special. 1/2 Off First months rent plus $99 Deposit. 2 Bedroom, 1 Bath. Washer/Dryer in some units.

5312 Lofts For Lease MO - DOWNTOWN 816-421-4343 One-of-a-kind spaces in a variety of historic fully restored buildings throughout Downtown, Crossroads, Westside, and West Bottoms. Commercial, residential, office, loft, art studios, and live/work spaces.

Rentals

MO- INDEPENDENCE 816-252-8990 Western Independence, One & Two bedroom apartments, new carpet, ceiling fans, central air, 5 minutes to downtown, 10 minutes to UMKC, great highway access. Call today 816-252-8990

$455-$560 913-236-8038 MINUTES TO KU MED. Spacious Studios, 1 Bedroom, 2 Bedrooms & Rental Homes Minutes to KU, UMKC, Plaza & Westport. Laundry Facilities, Off Street Parking, Pool, Water & Trash Paid. Please visit www.kc-apartments.com Washita Club Apartments manager@kc-apartments.com

KS-KANSAS CITY $350/MONTH 816-531-6817 Large 1 bedroom apartment near 10th & Grandview. Dining room, kitchen, appliances, ceiling fans, water paid. Application fee-credit app & deposit required. KS-KCKS $425-$525 913-299-9748 HEAT & WATER PAID... NO GAS BILL!KCK25 ACRE SETTING WITH POOL 63rd & ANN, 5 minutes West of I-635 & I-70 One bedroom $425; Two bedroom $525. No pets please. You CANNOT BEAT this value! Don't miss out on this limited-time offer! Call NOW! MUCH NICER THAN THE PRICE! KS-KU MED $640/MONTH 913-671-8218 2012 Special. 2 Bedroom Apartments NOW $640 was $695. 2 Bedroom, 2 Full Baths. 1200 S.F. Fully Equipped Kitchen. Huge Walk-In Closet. Gated Parking. Swimming Pool! Call Today!

MO $850 (816)756-2380 3720 Walnut Large 4 bedroom duplex, updated www.KNAACKPROPERTIES.COM

MO-DOWNTOWN $610+ 816-471-2751 The Courthouse Lofts on Grand Boulevard offers the finest in affordable apartment living in a truly urban setting. A complete historic rehabilitation of the 1939 former Federal Courthouse creates 176 new apartment lofts in the heart of downtown KC. Heated underground parking - In-unit laundry and premium finishes - Affordable downtown living from $610/month **Income restrictions apply. Please call for details.

Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Guide January 26th, February 2nd & 9th DEADLINE: FRIDAY, JANUARY 20th, 2011 For advertising information please call 816-218-6759 or email to dawn.jordan@pitch.com .

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JANUARY 12-18, 2012

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MO-GILLHAM PARK $495/MO 816-785-2875 RARE opportunity 1 unit vacancy. Beautiful Loft style Apartment on Gillham Park great views completely New everything. Exposed brick, marble floors, exposed ceilings (3rd floor units), hardwood floors, claw foot or jacuzzi tubs its all here right on Gillham Park with great sunset views. Completely new and updated with new Refrigerator, stove, Central air, furnace, garbage disposal, microwave/hood, maple cabinets and tons more. As low as $495/mo w/ lease. Big 1 bdrms in a great part of town. Onsite mgmt. Call Wes at 816-785-2875 or Dave at 913-244-4892

PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertised herein is subject to Federal Fair Housing Act, which makes it illegal to adverise, “any preferences, limitation, or discrimination because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or intention to make any such preference, limitation, or dicriminaiton. We will not knowing accept any advertising for real estate which is in violation of the law. All persons are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised are available on a equal opportunity basis.

MO-HYDE PARK $299+ 816-960-4712 Clean, quite & safe. Historic Hyde Park Studios and 1 bedrooms. Walk to Westport. Cats welcome. Updated kitchens and baths. New carpet. Mention this ad for a $299 a month special Alps Apartments 816-960-4712 MO-KANSAS CITY STARTING AT $395 816-231-2874 Stonewall Court apartments-2500 Independence Ave. Central air, secure entry, on site laundry, on bus line, close to shopping. Nice apartments, Sec 8 welcome. $100 Deposit Office hours M-F 8-5 MO-KCAI $450 (816)756-2380 4130 Warwick. 1 bedroom apartment. www.KNAACKPROPERTIES.COM

5320 Houses For Rent KS-47th & State Line $750 816-254-7200 This 2 bedroom house feels like home; living room, full basement for storage, garage, appliances, great sunporch, pets OK; rs-kc.com KC6RT KS-KCK Area $500 816-254-7200 Freshly updated and check the price! Newly updated 3 bedroom house, basement, garage, fenced yard, pets welcome, rent-to-own option! rs-kc.com KC6RX

MO-MIDTOWN $415-$700 913-940-2047 Newly Renovated Studios,1 & 2 Bedrooms in convenient Midtown Location. Off Street Parking. MO-MIDTOWN $375 - $475 816-560-0715 ARMOUR FLATS APARTMENTS - Studio & 1 bedrooms available in a newly remodeled building. Great location! Gas, water, trash paid. MO-MIDTOWN $595 (816)756-2380 4011 Warwick. Large 2 bedroom, central air, carpet, patio. KNAACKPROPERTIES.COM

MO-MIDTOWN $625 816-756-2380 4123 Walnut. Large 2 bedroom apartment. With Hardwoods. www.knaackproperties.com

KS-Mission Area $1150 816-254-7200 Fresh, clean, and spacious 3 bedroom house, luxurious living area, attached garage, fenced yard, appliances including W/D, pets OK! rs-kc.com KC6R0 KS-Prairie Village $900 913-962-6683 Warm and inviting feeling 3 bed/2 bath house AND 2 car garage, toasty fireplace, oversized fenced yard, appliances, pets OK! rs-kc.com KC6R1 KS-Rosedale Area $750 913-962-6683 Nearly 1000 sq. ft. 3 bedroom house, light filled living room, oversized fenced yard, eat-in kitchen with appliances & patio! rs-kc.com KC6RY KS-Turner Schools $750 913-962-6683 Pet friendly 3 bedroom house, hardwood floors, formal dining area for Sunday dinners, safely fenced yard, appliances, pets OK! rs-kc.com KC6RZ MO-43rd & Main $900 913-962-6683 Loaded with character filled amenities like built in shelving and a fireplace! 3 bedroom house, living room, garage, pets OK! rs-kc.com KC6RS MO-79th & Holmes $600 913-962-6683 Cozy and charming 3 bedroom house, spacious and bright living room for gathering with friends and family, pets OK! rs-kc.com KC6RU MO-SOUTH KANSAS CITY $645 816-761-2382 2 Bedroom, 2 bath house for rent. 7901 Oldham Rd. All appliances including W/D.

MO-MIDTOWN $425 (816)756-2380 712 E. Linwood. 1 bedroom apts. Carpet. New renovation. Walking distance to Costco, Home Depot, Martini Corner. Pets ok. www.KNAACKPROPERTIES.COM

MO-NE KC $400-$450 816-472-1866 Now renting 502-520 Maple Blvd. Colonial Court Apartments w/ air conditioners. Super move in special 1/2 off 1st month rent & $200 Deposit. For more details call Kelly James Onsite Manager (816)472-1866 Home (816) 777-6965 or the San Diego Branch Office is (619) 954-2703

MO-NKC $515 816-531-2555 319 E. 27th Ave. 1 bedroom, central air, appliances, garage.

MO-South KC $900 913-962-6683 Low deposit opportunity! Charming 2 bedroom house with 1.5 bathrooms, garage, loaded with kitchen appliances, walk-in closets, pets OK rs-kc.com KC6RV MO-WALDO $850 816.531.2555 7247 Wyandotte, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, appliances, central air, basment, garage.

MO-VALENTINE $400-$850 816-753-5576 CALL TODAY! Rent Studios, 1 & 2 BR Apartments & 3 Bedroom HOMES. Colliers International, EHO MO-WESTPORT/KUMED $695 816-531-3111 3942 Roanoke~ ground floor Duplex. 1 BR, lrg rooms, lots of closets. Off street parking, front porch. No pets please. MO-WESTPORT/PLAZA $500/MTH 816-561-9528 Winter Special- Large 2 Bedroom, Central Heat, Balcony, Private Parking, Garbage disposal. 3943 Roanoke and 3821 Central Call for details

MO-Westport Area $700 913-962-6683 Loaded with character! 2 bedroom house, washer/ dryer, full basement, dining room, oversized fenced yard, appliances, pets welcome! rs-kc.com KC6RR 5367 Ofﬁce Space For Rent MO - DOWNTOWN 816-421-4343 One-of-a-kind spaces in a variety of historic fully restored buildings throughout Downtown, Crossroads, Westside, and West Bottoms. Commercial, residential, office, loft, art studios, and live/work spaces.

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Back Page

速

816.218.6721

Electric Service Upgrade www.sjelectricalcontractorsllc.com Call Steve 816-217-9448

HOME Sellers & Tired Rental Property Owners Auto Insurance Starting @ $40.00 SR22-Non-owner / MO: 816-531-1000 / KS: 913-239-0900 **www.DeMastersInsurance.com**

I have pre-qualified buyers for your property. We guarantee your payment. Our lease purchase program is the sales solution for your property. 816-853-8369

$99 DIVORCE $99

Simple, Uncontested + Filing Fee. Don Davis. 816-531-1330

DOWNTOWN AREA STUDIO APT $110/WEEK Min.

$100 Deposit, All Utilities Paid, Laundry Facilities. On Metro Bus Line as of 10/3/11. Holiday Apts, 115 W. Harlem Rd, KCMO 816-221-1721 Se Hable Espanol

www.MoneyMakingClub.org $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $12,000 + / month Attainable. (913) 526-5150

Every Fri. & Sat.

PARTY WITH POKER IN HIS LIMO and A MEET & GREET EVERY THURSDAY AT MAX'S IN O.P. ( VIP ROOM ) 9pm to close 913-238-4339

816-842-6700. Divorce, Child Custody and Support,

CAREER EDUCATION LEARN BARTENDING!!

**BE A PROFESSIONAL *

~~~HOTEL ROOMS~~~ A-1 Motel 816-765-6300 Capital Inn 816-765-4331

Green Smoke 816-585-6800

America's Best Selling E-Cig/Free Trials 307 S 7 Hwy Blue Springs Ward Pky Ctr 14300 E 40 Hwy Indep Flea Mart D6 CASH PAID FOR JUNK/UNWANTED VEHICHLES. Call J.G.S. Auto Wrecking For Quote. 913-321-2716 ot Toll free 1-877-320-2716

ERICA'S PSYCHIC STUDIO

$10

Reunites Love- Depression-Finances Success 100% Guaranteed Results !

816-965-7125

Readings

Marriage & Family Visas Green Cards/Work Permits

Free consultations-Law Office of Joseph W. Alfred 913-538-6720 www.lojwa.com

* RECORDING ENGINEER/PRODUCER*

2 yr. Certificate Program. Call For Winter Enrollment! Classes Begin January For info. & Tour Call BRC Audio 913-621-2300 or visit www.recordingeducation.com

$99 DIVORCE $99

Simple, Uncontested + Filing Fee. Don Davis. 816-531-1330

THE PITCH

JANUARY 12-18, 2012

Real Estate & Bankruptcy Reasonable rates! Evening & Weekend appt. Susan Bratcher 816-453-2240 www.bratcherlaw.biz

THE LAW OFFICE OF DENISE KIRBY 816-221-3691

Paternity. KS & MO. HeartlandLawyer.com. The choice of a lawyer isimportant and should not be based solely upon advertisements.

CASH FOR CARS

DUI/DWI, KS, MO

Practice emphasizing DWI defense. Experienced, knowledgeable attorney will take the time to listen and inform. Free initial phone consultation.

Affordable Family Law Attorney

Wanted/Unwanted Autos, Wrecked, Damaged or Broken. Cash Paid. www.abcautorecycling.com 913-271-9406

$$ Paying Top Dollar $$ For Junk Cars & Trucks Missouri: 816-241-7548 Kansas: 913-321-1000

* DWI * * CRIMINAL * * TRAFFIC *

CLUBEROTICAKC.COM #1 Lifestyle House Party

Big fun, Big money, Two week program-Job placement assistance FT, PT, Parties, Weddings, Always in demand! International School of Professional Bartending. Call 816-753-3900 TODAY !!!

U-PICK IT SELF SERVICE AUTO PARTS

Entry Level-Sales/Marketing

No Exp. needed/ Training Provided/ Opportunity to Advance to MGMT. Submit Resume at www.mp-inc.org under contact us or call 816-912-2890 - MP Incorporated

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Auto Insurance Starting @ $40.00 SR22-Non-owner / MO: 816-531-1000 / KS: 913-239-0900 **www.DeMastersInsurance.com**

6101 E. 87th St./Hillcrest Rd. ,HBO,Phone, Banq. Hall $39.95 Day/ $159 Week/ $499 Month + Tax

SUNNY MASSAGE - 2500 W. 6th St. Lawrence, KS 66049. Walk-in or by appointment 785.865.1311

Law Offices of David M. Lurie

DWI, SOLICITATION, TRAFFIC DEFENSE, INTERNET-BASED CRIMES816-221-5900

http://www.the-law.com