Venus 2011

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editor’s note ❧

A new perspective on beauty

E

arlier this year, I walked into a Walgreen’s and threw a pack of tampons down on the counter. The cashier, a woman in her mid50s, looked at me with a face that said, “I feel for ya, sister.” I nodded, appreciating the silent bond we had acknowledged.

I walked out of the store that day with a smile on my face and an attitude that I was an important member of a large, powerful team of strong women who looked out for one another and had the ability to empathize in a way that, frankly, men just don’t get.

Sure, I like being able to throw on some makeup and play around with my long hair, but my fondness for my gender runs a little deeper than that.

are beautiful. Yes, each and every one of us.

This issue of Venus is intended to reflect the triumphs and struggles we face together and provide a little extra encouragement on our walks. It’s our hope that women who have found themselves in damaging relationships find comfort in the fact that there’s light at the end of the tunnel and that those who struggle to maintain a positive body image walk away from this magazine with a new perspective on their own beauty.

On a lighter note, we hope you enjoy the fun spring fashions and the tips for high-heeled comfort. For those expecting, the guide to staying fit while pregnant might give the extra dose of inspiration needed during those long nine months.

Publisher Crystal Miller Editorial Editor Trisha Marczak Assistant Editor Amanda Lillie Contributing Writers Michelle Haacke Angie Hoffman Alexandra Kloster Kelli Lageson Sarah Stultz Contributing Photographer Eric Johnson Art Art Director Stacey Bahr Graphic Designers Andy Greenman Colby Hansen Kathy Johnson Sales & Promotion Sales Representatives Austin area - Jana Gray (507) 434-2220 Albert Lea area - Crystal Miller (507) 379-3427 Owatonna area - Michelle Haacke (507) 379-9852 Venus 2011 Volume 6, Number 2

Editorial correspondence: Editors, Southern Minnesota Magazine, 808 W. Front St. Albert Lea, MN 56007.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission.

For comments, suggestions or story ideas call (507) 379-3433 or (507) 434-2230.

To purchase advertising, call (507) 379-3427, or fax (507) 373-0333

There’s something almost spiritual that connects women with one another. Though our walks are not identical, there are common battles we face together, some pleasant and some, well, not so pleasant.

During our times of triumph, we rejoice together. Be it the celebration of life through birth, love through weddings or the general fun and “girly” times we share on a regular basis, women are able to strongly connect in such moments.

And when things aren’t going so well, we often know what our girlfriends, mothers or daughters need from us: a little tender loving care.

Unfortunately in a fallen world, we deal with the harsh realities of body-image disorders and relationships that tend to drag us down more than build us up. It’s tough out there, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we need to encourage one another and help each other see the truth: We

A special thanks goes out to Belles and Beaus in Austin for all the work they’ve done with Southern Minnesota Magazine and the City of Albert Lea for allowing us to showcase buildings for this edition’s photo shoot. It’s this sort of cooperation that makes this publication tick.

So kick back, clear your mind and get ready to celebrate the female gender.

But be careful. You could just close this edition humming along to an Aretha Franklin tune. If that’s the case, hopefully there’s a woman sitting next to you who would be happy to join in. Just make sure you Trisha Marczak don’t get too loud — you Editor could scare the boys.

To subscribe, call (507) 434-2220 © A Minnesota Publishers Inc. publication

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what’s inside

SOUTHERN MINNESOTA venus 2011

SAVOR ❧

4

Can I get you a drink?

Easy cocktails to impress summer guests.

4

Beer review

Magic Hat #9 is the perfect beer for a patio.

Four wines for the not-so-savvy wine drinker.

4 6

Figure friendly flavor

Give your kitchen an upscale feel without the upscale price.

MOVE ❧

8

Staying fit while pregnant

If you must wear them, wear them properly.

8

LIVE ❧ 30 days of family fun

A family-friendly activity for every day of the month.

BEAUTIFY ❧ Staff picks We share our favorite beauty products.

Home skin care remedies

11

20 21

The key to healthy skin can be found in your kitchen.

final word ❧

SEEN ❧

13

The joys of exercising From Alexandra Kloster

on the cover

7

Top it off

Austin Home & Vacation Show

Wine review

Make dishes explode with flavor while adding few extra calories.

CREATE ❧

High heel safety

DAZZLE ❧

Fashion Remix Three outfits, endless possibilities to make your wardrobe more versatile.

16

Cover model: Whitney Burt Cover photograph: Eric Johnson Stylist: Angie Hoffman

32

Special thanks to the city of Albert Lea for cover photo shoot location of Freeborn Bank building and Herberger’s of Albert Lea for cover photo shoot clothing.

Spring issue, March 2011: Special thanks to Belles and Beaus of Austin for cover photo shoot wedding gowns and accessories.

features

Is your relationship toxic?

23

We Mean Natural!

™

Signs that your relationship may not be a healthy one.

What men REALLY want

(Hint: It’s not what you think...)

10 ways to spice it up

Add extra flair to your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together.

Is marriage relevant?

It depends on who you ask.

Child & Adolescent Depression

24 Become a ‘natural’ Consultant!

Looking for those that want:

25

Creating a healthy body image.

• Healthy choices!

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29

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SAVOR ❧

can i get you a drink?

not quite a winter beer

Having

Although Magic Hat #9 beer is brewed year-round, the apricotinfused light taste makes it the perfect choice for a spring or summer outdoor barbecue.

When poured, #9 has a pale golden color with a white, foamy head that is small and dissipates quickly. The aroma is sweet and fruity, making the first sip more refreshing than anticipated.

The Magic Hat Brewing Company, located in Vermont, was spot on when it coined #9 a “not quite pale ale.”

While it is light and crisp, the amount of carbonation coupled with the apricot sweetness makes it seem slightly more filling than a typical pale ale.

Although the slight lack of hops may not suit hardcore beer connoisseurs, it balances out the fruity taste so the brew is neither too hoppy nor overly fruity. With its balanced flavor and an alcohol volume of 5.1 percent, #9 is a good choice for an afternoon drink or a session beer.

company and running out of time to prepare?

Putting together a pretty and tasty cocktail doesn’t have to take a lot of back-bending effort. For the hibiscus, all you’ll need to do is take a trip to the florist and stop by your local liquor store and be sure to have enough champagne glasses to go around.

Essentially, the cocktail is simply a mixture of champagne and cranberry juice. The hibiscus is purely there to delight the eyes, while the champagne and cranberry juice mix will delight a few other senses.

you hand out glasses to guests. It’s tough not to express your delight when you take a sip of this drink.

What you’ll need: 1 gallon apple cider 1 gallon apple juice 6 cinnamon sticks 1 1/2 cups of white sugar 1 bottle of 190 proof grain alcohol (Everclear)

Ingredients: Cranberry juice Champagne Fresh hibiscus flowers

What you’ll need to do: Bring cider, juice, cinnamon sticks and sugar to a good boil.

Remove from heat, discard cinnamon sticks and wait for the concoction to reach room temperature.

Add booze, stir and refrigerate.

—Trisha Marczak

If you’re looking to make a batch of delicious and unique cocktails for a large group of guests, the apple pie beverage could be the one. Don’t be surprised if you hear a round of “mmmms” when

She wines a lot When

it comes to wine, myself a wine snob.

I

wouldn’t call

In fact, I’m quite the opposite.

Wine became my drink of choice recently, so I’m still learning. That’s why I got together with three gal pals one recent night to try four different wines.

Evolution

In the common wine tasting practice of light to heavy, we started our tasting with Evolution. It’s a light, airy, white wine. In fact, it’s quite comparable to champagne — without the bubbles. A hint of pear and apple could be detected. The perfect choice for an unsophisticated crowd just venturing into the world of wine.

4 | SMM | Venus 2011

Apothic Red

Three out of four of us chose this wine as our favorite. Although it’s red in color, this wine is actually a blend of zinfandel, syrah and merlot. It was sweeter than the typical red wine. With a hint of mocha aftertaste, it could very well be served with dessert.

PromisQous

We chose this California red table wine because of the label. The taste was pretty good, too. Like reds, it was dry, but not bitter.

Avalon

This was the heaviest of the wines; a blend of blackberries and cherries. Swirling it in the wine glass exposed long legs.

— Michelle Haacke

Magic Hat #9 may not be for all beer drinkers — especially those who enjoy dark brews — but if you’re looking for a “not quite” light drink to kick back with at a barbecue or on the patio, #9 is your beer.

—Amanda Lillie

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Connie service as the Office Manager and has been with Bonnerup Funeral Service for over 20 years. She enjoys meeting and helping families, and provides support and assistance to the Funeral Directors and staff in many ways. She is active in the community with Kiwanis Club, United Way, and many church activites.

Paula Wilson – Licensed Funeral Director Paula is a Licenced Funeral Director, with a degree in Mortuary Science from the University of Minnesota. She has been with Bonnerup Funeral service for 29 years. She serves her families with outstanding, caring compassion. She is active in the community through Rotary Club, Beta Sigma Phi and the United Way.

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SAVOR ❧

Figure Friendly Flavor

T

here’s no better way to enhance the flavor and aroma of your meals than cooking with spices. They are essential for a fantastic tasting experience, and being familiar with a variety of spices allows you to tailor recipes to suit your unique tastes.

Many spices work as powerful anti-inflammatories and may improve conditions such as arthritis, diabetes, psoriasis and cancer. They also happen to be fat-free, sodium-free and don’t add calories. But, in order to reap the benefits of spices, you have to eat more of them on a regular basis. Here are 10 to start with:

Juniper

Origin: Europe Part used: berries Flavor: refreshing, spicy, bittersweet with a hint of pine Trivia: Juniper is the main flavoring for gin.

Best in: marinades, rubs, sauces and stuffing for game and fatty meats; also good with apples and cabbage Hint: Crush juniper just before using as the flavor will decline rapidly once exposed to the air.

Combines well with: bay, caraway, celery, garlic, marjoram, pepper, rosemary, savory, thyme

Flavor: pungent, acrid, earthy and forceful Trivia: When prepared as a gourmet blend, the seeds are first soaked in water to activate the enzymes responsible for mustard’s heat. Once the desired level of heat has been reached, the seed are mixed with wine or vinegar, which determines the mustard’s final flavor.

Best with: roasted and grilled beef, chicken, fish and seafood, cold meats and sausages, strong cheeses, curries, cabbage Hint: Add a pinch of ground mustard along with olive oil, salt and pepper to cauliflower, and bake for a tangy side dish.

Combines well with: bay, chili, coriander, cumin, dill, fennel, fenugreek, garlic, honey, parsley, pepper, tarragon, turmeric

Ginger

Origin: China, India Part used: root Flavor: hot and tangy with fresh, citrus undertones

Turmeric

Origin: Southern Asia Part used: roots Flavor: slightly bitter and sour, moderately pungent, warm and musky Trivia: One of the cheapest spices, turmeric has long been valued for its healing properties.

Cancer, depression, arthritis, tumors, psoriasis, indigestion, diabetes, bacterial and viral infections are just a few of the ailments turmeric has been used to improve.

Best with: fish, meat, poultry, eggs, beans, lentils, rice, root vegetables, eggplant, spinach, cauliflower Hint: A little turmeric mixed with flour before roasting or barbequing chicken will give it a beautiful golden color and a pleasant taste.

Combines well with: chili, cilantro, cloves, coconut milk, coriander, cumin, curry, fennel, garlic, ginger, lemon grass, mustard seeds, paprika, pepper

Cumin

Origin: Egypt Part used: seeds Flavor: rich, warm, sharp, slightly bitter and pungent Trivia: The ancient Romans used cumin in the way we use pepper today.

Best with: chicken, lamb, Mexican and North African dishes, hard or pungent cheeses, beans, bread, cabbage, eggplant, lentils, onions, potatoes, rice, sauerkraut, squash Combines well with: ajowan, allspice, anise, bay cardamom, chili, cinnamon, cloves, coriander, curry leaves, fennel, fenugreek, garlic, ginger, mace, nutmeg, mustard, oregano, paprika, pepper, thyme, turmeric

Cardamom

Origin: India, Tanzania, Vietnam, Papua New Guinea Part used: pods, seeds Flavor: lemony and flowery with a hint of eucalyptus; warm yet refreshing Trivia: third-most expensive spice, after saffron and vanilla; known to aid in digestion and freshen breath Best with: apples, oranges, pears, yogurt, cakes and pastries, spiced punches, pilafs, legumes, root vegetables Hint: If you want to experiment with cardamom, add a little to your sweet potatoes.

Combines well with: caraway, chili, cinnamon, cloves, coffee, coriander, cumin, ginger, paprika, pepper, saffron

Saffron

Origin: The Mediterranean, Western Asia Part used: stigma Flavor: warm, earthy, musky and bitter; delicate yet pervasive Trivia: It is the most-expensive spice. It takes 250,000 crocus flowers to obtain one pound of saffron and the three stigmas from each flower must be collected by hand.

Best with: fish and seafood dishes, poultry, eggs, rice dishes, asparagus, carrots, leeks, mushrooms, spinach, winter squashes, sweet breads and cookies Hint: While saffron is especially good in seafood dishes such as bouillabaisse and paella, try adding some to your next beef stew or tomatobased sauce.

Combines well with: anise, cardamom, cinnamon, fennel, ginger, mastic, nutmeg, paprika, pepper

Mustard Seed

Origin: Southern Europe, Western Asia Part used: seeds 6 | SMM | Venus 2011

Star Anise

Star Anise

Trivia: Ginger root can be found in many forms: fresh, dried, pickled, preserved in syrup and crystallized.

Best with: meat and poultry, fish and cheese dishes, Asian dishes, pickles, curries, nuts, baked fruit, cakes, puddings, sweet breads, mulled wine Hint: Ginger is tasty on top of hot, buttered carrots.

Combines well with: cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, dried fruits, honey, nutmeg, lemon preserves, paprika, pepper, saffron

Grains of Paradise

Origin: West Africa Part used: seeds Flavor: pungently hot and peppery with a fruity note Trivia: Originally brought to 13th Century Europe via Saharan caravans, grains of paradise was a popular substitute for true pepper until pepper became more readily and cheaply available.

Best with: Lamb, poultry, potatoes, rice, squash, tomatoes, eggplant, root vegetables Combines well with: allspice, cinnamon, cloves, cumin, nutmeg

Origin: Southern China, Vietnam Part used: pods, seeds Flavor: pungent and sweet with licorice notes; fresh aftertaste with a mildly numbing effect Trivia: The star anise pod is actually more flavorful and fragrant than the seed.

Best with: chicken, fish and seafood, pork, bouillons, figs, tropical fruits, leeks, pumpkin, root vegetables Combines well with: cassia, chili, cinnamon, coriander, fennel, garlic, ginger, lemon grass, lime peel, Sichuan pepper, soy sauce

Mace

Origin: Indonesia Part used: Aril surrounding the nutmeg seed.

Flavor: warm, aromatic and subtle with some lemony sweetness and a bitter finish Trivia: The aerosol “mace” sold as a selfdefense against would-be attackers is a chemical and has nothing to do with this plant.

Best with: fish and seafood chowders, chicken, lamb, egg dishes and souffles, cheese, milk dishes, puddings, desserts, onion, potatoes, sweet potatoes, spinach Combines well with: cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, coriander, cumin, ginger, nutmeg, paprika, pepper, thyme —Angie Hoffman

❧ CREATE

By Sarah Stultz • Photos by Eric Johnson

BEFORE

Jean and Tom Eaton, owners of Granicrete Minnesota, are in the business of transforming homes.

In just a matter of a few days, they — or one of their independent certified installers — can take an old, drab countertop and change it into a piece of art.

“The possibilities are endless,” Jean said.

Their product, Granicrete, can go over almost everything, except for fiberglass and some metals. It can also be used to revamp showers, desks, pool decks and driveways.

When it’s finished, it creates an upscale look of granite, marble or concrete at a fraction of the cost.

How do they do it?

• The installer will first place paper and plastic around the room to protect it from the products during the transformation process.

• Second, the installer will paint two brush coat layers on top of the old countertop, using the company’s special cement, which is three times stronger than regular cement.

• After this, the contractor adds two trowel coats of the cement.

• Next, the contractor adds color with a spray bottle and water — products are 100 percent eco-friendly.

• Then the installer applies epoxy and torches it to seal the product.

• The look always comes out shiny. However, it can be sanded down for a honed look if this is what the customer wants. A protector coat is added at the end.

“People get one of a kind — that’s key,” Jean said.

If people do not want to go over their old countertops, Granicrete Minnesota can build the countertops new offsite.

The product is bacteria-free, stain-resistant, seamless and heat resistant to 500 degrees in indirect heat. It is also scratch-resistant.

Granicrete Minnesota, a distributor for Minnesota and northern Iowa, has been in existence for three years.

The company can be found at 2610 Y.H. Hanson Ave., Suite 101, in Albert Lea. The Eatons are also planning to open an additional showroom in Minneapolis in the near future.

For more information, call 507-373-3547.

AFTER

Venus 2011 | SMM | 7

MOVE ❧

Stay fit while you’re pregnant

High heel safety Admit it, ladies:

You just found out you’re four weeks pregnant and you’re embarking on the nine-month journey to become a new mother.

How do you maintain a healthy lifestyle during those months and, most importantly, support a happy, healthy baby?

Amanda DeYoung, wellness and fitness coach based out of Worthington, says nutrition is the foundation.

“There’s a lot of dynamics to health — a lot of pieces to the puzzle,” said DeYoung, who has an 8-month-old baby of her own.

“But you are what you eat.”

Nutrition DeYoung, who majored in kinesiology at Northwestern College in St. Paul and now works for the National Safety Association, said there are five key nutrients women need during pregnancy. She encouraged people to get their nutrients from whole foods, not vitamins or supplements.

• Calcium: dark leafy greens, kale, spinach, broccoli and dairy foods.

• Folate: legumes, broccoli, asparagus and 8 | SMM | Venus 2011

oranges.

• Iron: dry beans, meat, oatmeal and tofu.

• Protein: lean meats, seafood, milk and beans.

• Vitamin C: citrus fruits, low sugar juices, strawberries and dark leafy greens.

DeYoung encourages pregnant women to eat fruits and vegetables from every color of the rainbow and to avoid trying to fit in the nutrients through vitamins.

In addition to these nutrients, DeYoung said it is vital to drink enough fluids, especially water.

Exercise How much a woman exercises while pregnant can sometimes depend on how active she was before becoming pregnant.

DeYoung said if a woman was fit before pregnancy, she probably can continue her regular workout routine as long as she feels up to it.

She noted the importance of warming up gradually and cooling down slowly and avoiding exercise that raises your heart to more than 140 beats per minute. A body temperature should not go over 100.6 degrees.

After the first trimester, expectant moms should not perform any exercises that require them to be on their backs.

They should switch to a low-impact program, including walking, water exercise, prenatal pilates, weight training with lighter weights and prenatal yoga.

DeYoung said women who exercise while pregnant have: • Fewer health problems.

• Less fatigue.

• Quicker return after pregnancy.

• Confidence.

• Lower risk of gestational diabetes.

• Greater flexibility.

• Less weight gain.

• Better sleep.

• A better attitude.

They are also less likely to experience leg swelling, to have prenatal depression and to to have a C-section.

After delivering their babies, mothers should not try to do too much too soon.

By that six-month mark after delivering, mothers will probably be back to their regular routine.

And, naturally, DeYoung encouraged women to always follow the advice of their doctors.

—Sarah Stultz

Wearing high heels hurts.

And, it’s OK. You’re not alone. Just look under the tables at the next wedding reception you attend. It’s safe to bet that many women have kicked off their heels in an effort to relieve the pain that comes from trying to be fashionable.

“It’s not normal for feet to be pressed into a narrow and shallow toe box,” said John M. Enger, podiatrist and owner of the Community Foot Clinic in Albert Lea. “Women frequently make up the majority of patients seen in a podiatry practice, and one reason is high-heeled and narrow-toe-box shoe wear.”

Aside from being uncomfortable, wearing high-heeled shoes can lead to a number of health issues in women aside from blisters, corns and calluses.

The excessive pressure on the little toes and big toes can contribute to bunion and hammertoe deformities.

This can also be advanced by predetermined genetic makeup in some women, as well.

When the foot is in a high heel, it adds excessive weight, which puts pressure on the ball of the foot. This can lead to metatarsalgia — or pain and swelling — of the feet. Squeezed toes can also contribute to Morton’s neuromas, an enlarged growth of nerves in the balls of the feet, which could require surgery if it gets too severe.

Women who’ve worn high heels over the span of decades, from their youth into middle age, often have a shortening of the Achilles tendon and are more prone to develop Achilles tendonitis.

Aside from that, simple sprains and breaks can occur with the slightest bump in the sidewalk or misstep.

However, the news isn’t completely grim.

If you must wear high heels, Enger said there are a few things you can do to minimize the pain — and long-term negative effects — of choosing to do so.

His first tip is to minimize the amount of time you spend in stilleto-type heels. If you have to dress up, he suggested wearing a lower high heel shoe, no more than two inches high.

“In a perfect world, the one-inch heel would be the most recommended,” he said.

Slipping your high heels off during the day and giving your feet a break from them periodically is recommended, as it will cut down on soreness.

Wearing a wider heel can help stabilize a woman’s balance, as the more width there is on the heel, the more stable the high-heeled shoe will be and the less likely one will be to turn in and sprain the ankle.

Dress orthotics can be custom-made to insert into shoes, depending on the style. These add more padding to the ball of the foot and allow more biomechanical control of the foot.

Enger also recommended exercises, including straight-leg and bent-knee stretches like runners perform.

— Michelle Haacke

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High Albert Lea

Robe Joshua age listed, ender, no for fourth poswas cited DWI and degree of drug parasession near Garfield phernaliaand Hawthorne Avenue 1:22 a.m.

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What matters to you, matters to us.

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By Albert atribune.com ted in Actual appro major test t that voter hs deal is expec news@albertle for the sign governmen le of next in five mont the the midd responsible . ushered own of week. installation by SHIP are If a shutd nment had ict ago. ing late , al gover federal First Distr Sign costs Work $3,000. feder at Tim Walz local y night ay ed sarah.s U.S. Rep. estimated occurred, prepared. into Frida al the Mondil will was pleas During said he ment had counc offices were t Lea City congression employees e House ing, the The AlberMonday is an agree ed and Federal Department and Whit ct meet on in er to Council vote on a proje been reachvote in also: at the U.S. negotiators d ulture office s • Vote wheth y agree slated to improving the he wouldlegislation agreement acros of Agric finall the and at to with of Tim nate es aimed bicyclists riding favor the governtermi Albert Lean were planon a plan cial servic Walz governn. safety ofFountain Lake. to keep for finan the natioreport to work pay for der- the city of Austi and ng. to operations e take runni around is consi 25 Lea il ning t ment then ment ay, l the end nue to believ The counc The Alber Council on Monddirection.

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4Shutdown have since deal forge bargaining keep the for a few more ng The goalawareness of Both citiesarrangement tough rrass and runni the d an emba is to raise riding aroun decided averted al shutdown, ical. er to bicyclistsand to inform is not pract ing feder services • Vote wheth Local tax t people the lake that there are expec Page 6A motorists bikes on this always in at the last 4Council, frequently to come file taxes. to route. minute will be City crews

Ali Kloster examines how Southern Hospitality and MIdwestern are basifriendliness same thing. cally the

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Thousands & Thousands of Dollars in Prizes Power 96 hosted the annual Austin Home & Vacation Show on March 18th through 20th. The event was held at the Packer Arena in Austin. Residents from Austin and surrounding communities attended to visit over 130 exhibitors and register for a chance to win one of many prizes including an enclosed ALUMA Motorcycle Trailer, Dream Kitchen Packages, $350 cash, gift certificates, furniture, appliances and more.

Each attendee received a free pass to Wisconsin Dells Mount Olympus water park. Mark your calendars for the 38th annual show in March 2012.

Venus 2011 | SMM | 11

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12 | SMM | Venus 2011

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A terrible story of crime is flashed across the nightly news and we eagerly provide our own judgment on the alleged perpetrator.

But what if the perp was someone we knew — someone whose past actions would never hint to such offensive behavior?

In Amy Efaw’s book, “After,” the reader is taken on a journey through the eyes of a teenage girl who is standing trial after allegedly throwing her newborn baby into a dumpster.

She’s a monster, right?

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Amy Efaw Well, that’s for the reader to decide.

Nothing is given away upfront in this book.

Rather, the reader is left wondering whether or not the girl knew what she was doing. She did, right? Well, depending on what page you’re on, your answer may switch.

The writer does an excellent job of bringing the reader into somewhat of a relationship with Devon, whose clean record and seemingly outstanding prior behavior leave many wondering how she could have done such a thing.

You’ll be wondering, too.

It’s not to say that such things should automatically be excused. But it will give you new insight and make you stop and think before providing such harsh judgment on a total stranger who may or may not have done what they’ve been accused of.

—Trisha Marczak

Bake muffins together and let your child pour ingredients.

Have a family picnic.

Let the children plan the meal.

Visit your preschool- Go bird watching. er’s classroom for the day or have lunch with your older child.

Have a milk and cookie date.

Go to the library.

Create a time capsule in a shoe box and let your child decide what to put in it. Hide it in the back of your closet or add to it every year.

Try a new praise phrase such as “way to go,” “you’re fantastic,” “that’s incredible,” “you make me happy,” “I’m impressed.”

Fly a kite.

Let your child help you dust or fold towels. Praise them for their help.

Go on a treasure hunt.

Volunteer together as a family.

Have a movie night.

Make it special with popcorn and root beer.

Go puddle jumping as spring makes an appearance. Put on old clothes and grab your boots. Splash until you are soaked.

Make a photo album with your children that they can play with. If you print pictures from your computer, it saves money in case the album gets ruined.

Hold your own American Idol night.

Have a backyard campout.

Teach your child how to set the table.

Plant a tree or flower.

Have a cookie competition and then give the cookies to a neighbor or friend.

Make a paper chain with your child; each chain has a name of someone your family loves.

Friday

Count freckles together.

birthday cards for close family members.

The cards can be given throughout the year as birthdays arrive.

Go out for ice cream. Make homemade

Thursday

Make your waffles special with berries and whipped cream.

Wednesday

Go park hopping.

Tell your child five See how many parks reasons you are you can visit. proud of them.

Tuesday

Finding quality time with your children is often easier said than done.

These quick ideas can get you on the right path for creating a nourishing environment.

Monday

Have your children pick out a toy or book that they can give to a relative, friend or neighbor to teach them about sharing.

Get ready for bed early and spend 30 minutes pillow talking.

(Instructions on next page)

Make a bird feeder.

Build a living room fort with blankets.

Saturday

Family Fun Calendar

Sunday

LIVE ❧

Venus 2011 | SMM | 13

How to make a simple milk carton birdfeeder What

you need:

Empty cardboard milk carton Popsicle sticks Paint, decorations 1 small wooden dowels Birdseed mix Wire

Directions:

Cut openings on opposite sides of a clean cardboard milk carton. Decorate exterior of carton with nontoxic paint in whatever color or design you choose. Glue popsicle stick shingles onto the roof. For a perch, poke holes below the openings and slip a dowel through the holes. Fill the bottom of the feeder with birdseed mix.

Hang the feeder with a wire. Birdseed mix can be purchased or made homemade by combining a variety of nuts and seeds, such as sunflower seeds, millet, thistle seeds and yellow corn.

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Get Your House In Shape For Summer

With summer vacations approaching, many of us are sweating it out in the gym trying to get in shape for that trip to the beach. As the weather is getting warmer, now is a good time to get your house in shape for the summer cooling season.

While air conditioning is critical to the comfort of you and your family, there are actions you can take to conserve energy and improve the efficiency of your home and your air conditioning system. By following these steps, your house will be in better shape to handle those hot, humid days without putting an extra burden on your energy bill.

• Set your thermostat to a higher temperature in the summer. Consider installing a programmable thermostat. This is an excellent way to match the cooling needs of your home to your personal schedule. They typically offer savings of 10%–15% without compromising personal comfort.

• Replace filters on your air conditioner. For homes with central air, it is important to change the filter before the start of the cooling season and on a monthly basis thereafter. Dirty filters restrict airflow and can cause the system to run longer and work harder, increasing energy use. Plug air leaks in your home. Weather strip and caulk any leaky doors and windows and install foam gaskets behind outlet covers.

• Check insulation levels. If necessary, add insulation in attics and crawl spaces.

This will not only help to conserve energy, but will improve household comfort.

• Use energy efficient landscaping. Leafy trees and shrubs properly placed on the south and west side of your home can provide shade during the peak daytime heat. You can also reduce heat buildup by keeping blinds and curtains closed on windows facing the sun • Consider cooling alternatives for your home. Fans and dehumidifiers use less energy than air conditioners and can help to increase comfort by reducing humidity levels and maintaining steady air flow.

• When replacing air conditioners or other cooling equipment, choose energy efficient models. These may cost a little more, but can pay for themselves through lower energy usage over the lifetime of the equipment. See the Austin Utilities website at www.austinutilities.com for more information about energy savings and rebate offers.

DAZZLE ❧

Jeans & Tank Top Night on the Town – Impress your special someone with an eye-popping wrap and white hot heels. For a luxurious feel, bring along a gold satin clutch to match your earrings and necklace.

FASHION

This season, don’t let your style be limited by a budget. Your current closet is likely more versatile than you may realize. With the right accessories, a little coordination and a modest amount of creativity, you can transform even the simplest of outfits into endless varying looks and be ready for any occasion.

(No one will ever suspect you wore the same thing twice!) This is especially functional for those days when you need to go from one event to another.

To jumpstart your inspiration, here are nine examples of three distinct looks centered around three different base outfits.

remix

Three

basic outfits, nine different looks.

By: Angie Hoffman • Photos by: Eric Johnson • Model: Whitney Burt

Jeans & Tank Top Cool as Can Be – Take casual to an entirely new level.

Effortlessly amplify a simple gray cardigan with a pageboy cap, hoop earrings, a silver twisted necklace and, of course, a trusty pair of Converse.

16 | SMM | Venus 2011

Jeans & Tank Top Outdoor Explorer – Functional and fashionable! Layer a warm sweater and button down shirt over the tank top to ensure proper coverage against unpredictable weather. Then add sturdy boots and a neutral bag, and you’re ready to find an adventure.

Sailor Pants & Camisole Glamour Girl – Get red carpet ready instantly with a shimmery tied scarf over the camisole, a reflective clutch, glitzy heels and as much sparkly jewelry as possible.

Sailor Pants & Camisole Sailor Pants & Camisole Office Appropriate – No one will doubt your professionalism in this pulled together ensemble. Keep your look classic with pointed nude heels, pearl earrings, and a taupe tailored jacket — but use a statement necklace to express creative energy. Coffee is highly recommended!

Saturday Shopper – Look stylish but feel relaxed with a breezy cardigan, simple beret and beaded necklace.

Perfect for antiquing, treat your feet with comfy flats and grab a roomy bag that will fit all your finds.

Venus 2011 | SMM | 17

Summer Dress

Summer Dress

Beach Babe – Simple is best. Grab sunglasses, wedge sandals, perhaps a chunky bracelet and definitely an oversized tote. Don’t forget the sunscreen!

Whimsical City Girl – Feel like a spring fashionista while showing off your quirky side. Pull together a highend look with a draped scarf (or two) and simple heels. Adding a blossom bag, two oversized flower rings and finding a fun, analogous color scheme lends a fresh and unexpected feel.

Summer Dress Sunday Best – Perfect for a morning service or afternoon party. Keep your look feminine and demure with a ruffled shoulder shrug, peep toe heels, gathered clutch and gardenia clipped into your locks.

Not entirely reformed?

A gun-metal chain choker adds a slight hint of edgy …

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BEAUTIFY ❧

Moisturizer: Apricot Intensive Night Cream $12 at Wintergreen Natural Foods, Albert Lea

Foundation: Clinique Superbalanced Makeup $21 at Herberger’s

Moisturizer: Neutrogena Oil-free Sensitive Skin Moisture $10 at discount stores Foundation: CoverGirl Clean Sensitive Skin Pressed Powder, $8 at discount stores

Angie Sales Hair Styling Product: Redken Align 12 Protective Straightening Lotion $16 at Salons

“Can’t Live Without”: Almay Intense i-Color mascara in black emerald $7 at discount stores

Hair Styling Product: Garnier Fructis Putty Fiber Gum $3 at discount stores

Amanda Writer “Can’t Live Without”: Aussie Maximum Hold hairspray $4 at discount stores

Moisturizer: Clinique Even Better Skin Tone Correcting Moisturizer $43 at department stores

Hair Styling Product: Aveda Brilliant – Medium Hold Hairspray $15 at Aveda Salons

Foundation: Clinique Superpowder Double Face Powder $20 at department stores Catherine Sales

“Can’t Live Without”: Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer $5 at discount stores

Staff Picks Moisturizer: Mary Kay Timewise moisturizer $22 at Mary Kay

Hair Styling Product: Flat Iron — $15-$20 at discount stores

Foundation: Clinique Even Better makeup Foundation: Bare Foundation: $23 at Essentials Mineral Moisturizer: Prairie Avon Ideal Shade department Essence A New Leaf Powder Cream-to-powder Moisturizer: Olay stores Anti-Age Cream $30 at Sephora foundation SPF 15 Complete All Day $15 at select Albert Lea beauty counters Moisture Lotion SPF 15 $10 at Avon retailers or at $8 at discount stores Stacey prairieessence.com Renee Michelle Art Sales Sales Hair “Can’t Live Styling Hair Product: Without”: “Can’t Live My stylist Styling Redken Without”: Brenda Herr Product: Guts 10 Maybelline from Dinah’s Matrix volume Superstay Essentials spray foam Style in lip color “Can’t Live Without”: Albert Lea Hair Spray $16 at $8 at Elizabeth Arden Green $17 at salons discount Tea body Moisturizer salons stores $20 at CVS Pharmacy

Here they are — our favorite beauty products — and the ones we absolutely can’t live without

Moisturizer: Cetaphil moisturizing cream $18 at discount stores Hair Styling Product: John Frieda Frizz-Ease Straight Fixation $6 at discount stores

Foundation: L’Oreal True Match Naturale $13 at discount stores Kelli Writer “Can’t Live Without”: Chapstick with SPF 15 and moisturizer $2 at discount stores

Foundation: Estee Lauder Double Wear Stay-In Place Makeup, $34 at department stores Moisturizer: Neutrogena Healthy Skin face lotion with SPF 15 $13.99 at Walgreens

Michelle Writer

Hair Styling Product: “Can’t Live Without”: Kenra Platinum Estee Lauder Double Texturizing Taffy Wear Stay-in Place $22 at salons Powder Makeup $34 at department stores

Moisturizer: Jergens Natural Glow Moisturizer $5 at discount stores

Hair Styling Product: Tresemme (Extra Hold — Number 4) $4 at discount stores

Foundation: CoverGirl Fresh Complexion Oil Control makeup $8 at discount stores Joan Sales

“Can’t Live Without”: CoverGirl Lash Blast Mascara $7 at discount stores

Homemade Skin Care Remedies That Work

O

ver the past few years, replacing chemicals with natural ingredients has become a growing trend in skin care. While an increasing number of organic and natural products are now available, some of the most effective skin care treatments are also the simplest — and can often be easily made from products you already have in your kitchen and medicine cabinet. So, if your skin has been less than cooperative, consider trying one or more of the following remedies:

Red-Reducing Facial Mask

Temporary facelift

Whitening Mask

Eggs have long been a popular ingredient in skin-toning facial masks because they tighten, nourish and moisturize the skin, leaving your face looking firm and smooth.

2 egg yolks 1 tsp. sugar Whisk the egg yolks until they are firm and consistent. Add sugar gradually and mix well to combine the two. Apply to the face and leave on for 25 minutes. Wash off with warm water using a wash cloth.

Zit zapper

Apple cider vinegar and tea tree oil are both natural bacteria fighters. Here, they are combined for an effective acne treatment.

1/4 tsp. apple cider vinegar 1 drop tea tree essential oil Saturate a cotton swap with the apple cider vinegar. Add a single drop of tea tree essential oil. Dab the cotton swab on the zit, cover with a small band-aid and leave overnight. In the morning, you should notice the zit has diminished.

This soothing mask is great for combating redness and irritation. Its main ingredient is yogurt, which is full of natural fats and proteins that cool and calm irritated skin.

1/4 cup plain whole yogurt 2 Tbsp. honey Stir the yogurt and honey until smooth. Spread onto clean skin, avoiding delicate areas around the eyes and mouth. Leave on for 15 minutes then rinse well with warm water. Gently pat skin dry.

Lemon juice is an excellent bleaching agent for minor facial discolorations and sun damage.

1 Tbsp. honey 1 Tbsp. lemon juice Combine ingredients, smooth onto clean skin and let sit for 15 minutes. For best results, repeat daily for one month.

Bye-Bye Blackheads Scrub

Blackheads appear when pores are blocked by excess oil and dead skin that turn dark due to oxidation. Baking soda, the active ingredient in this scrub, will remove bacteria, dead skin and oil and leave your skin glowing.

1 Tbsp. granulated sugar 1 Tbsp. baking soda 2 Tbsp. water Stir together until mixed. Massage into damp skin and let sit for a few minutes. Rinse well with warm water and pat skin dry. — Angie Hoffman Venus 2011 | SMM | 21

We are watching your budget too! Fashionable clothing, tots to teens, mom & dads, household, furnishings, jewelry, glassware, unique gifts, $1.00 bargain racks.

106 W. Clark St. Albert Lea, MN 56007

507-373-7911

The world is a changing place and, unfortunately, not always for the better. Today allows you many different options to defend yourself: • Pepper spray is nonlethal but painful to an attacker.

Nice selection of clothing, infant to adult, plus size, household misc., decor and so much more!

Mon.-Fri. 10-5 • Sat. 10-3 123 N. Broadway, Albert Lea • 373-0388

• Tasers are absolutely nonlethal and 99.9% effective. THEY WORK! • Handguns have gotten smaller, with the woman in mind, but can be lethal.

Always have a shrill whistle on you and NEVER wear headphones when you walk or jog. They make you as good as deaf and anyone can grab you from behind.

Think about it, what is your life worth?

212 S. Broadway, Albert Lea 507-373-9733 Mon. 10-5, Tues. 10-5, Wed. 10-5, Thurs. 10-7, Fri. 10-5, Sat. 10-3, Sun. Closed

18326 US Hwy 69 • Albert Lea, MN 56007 www.hart-bros.com • 377-0201 Closed Sundays & Mondays

p i h s n o i t a l e r r u o Is y

? c i tox y f an s: ts o eat threa pically r h T g Ty n to akin gn. ate s m ing si c thre their i r tne warn tacti , end ily par a u is am If a d, it’s e th ave yo ds or f ical s u n s le ki ho rien u phy rs, se w mo ur f o tho ad ru urt yo use y o the a e t h r sp fe, n to c rding n for n li e ow hreat . Acco oalitio hese t t C m r o har esota men, as o n d Min ered W re use ep att ats a to ke B Isolation: thre pons where a Isolating you may be a way for we right you. you want an abusive partner to keep you y the from speaking with someone else

about your current situation. Not allowing you to see family and friends, while also putting those people down, may be a sign that your partner is isolating you from those who love you most.

You see it everywhere — smart, beautiful and intelligent women being physically and mentally abused by their partners. In most cases, the abusive actions don’t begin at first, but there are typically warning signs — red flashing lights that we often overlook as we walk through the haze of love. Whether it’s happening to you, a co-worker, a close friend or a family member, it’s important to recognize the first warning signs of a toxic relationship. As women, it’s our job to watch out for one another. If we see those signs creeping in, we should draw attention to the issue. After all, we are amazing and deserve to be treated with respect, dignity and a whole lot of love.

Hav Blam e abu you ing a ev nd se tim was er hea Den es ac yi rd len the a tually a vic ng: ce o tim bus the e r say i r fa rw em bec aus otion ill cla ult? M the e i m a l co the tha the any n t v firs it’s the ictim trol oc viol t pl ace ir faul ikes it curs t o b des ecaus in the r erv e it e they .

Power and control wheel for dating violence

Sexual: Being forced into sexual activity by your partner is considered sexual abuse. But that’s not the only action that falls into the sexually abusive category. Having your sexual past insulted, being called Em Tho otion sexually unfriendly names or al: se having bad things said about em unde who otio rgo your body are all considered na su d Eve amag ffer f l abus forms of abuse. ro n e get thos ed sel m a fe e o fromabusi ut of who a steem re .

W t ve r an fee arnin he con elatio emoti able t o o l n g ing worth sign seque ship nally s s era you n less, c inclu nces f uffer wh lly fe ame allin de m or ye s o e g rem love l bad and m you aking ars. stu yo ind you abo a you sho ut y king pid, c u a wh uld b ours you y yo e t elf. gen llas y u’r he T ou e am one hose are azin s wh . g ju o st

Economic: If your man is taking your money to keep as his own, or if he’s doing it to prevent you from living out your life, take notice. The minute you have to go to him to ask for your own money, there could be a problem.

Physical: This may seem obvious, but, in many physically abusive relationships, the warning signs tend to creep up slowly. If you’re being pushed, shoved, being held down or are the victim of slapping, punching or g: llin go tro hair pulling, tell someone about it. o Con have t r for tne often ou r y a f p I ore e a our to y sion m ay b r is s m tne i t i m per n not, ur par ell you tha hat yo they t her t et If ur sign olling. ss, wh ith yo rack tr o dre es w st n p o e t c to lac ke me u how go p y and i t can famil ve, it’s to yo a u o e o n y and ery m e clos are i u n v nds frie your e someo not yo hip. or of with ons her lati talk whet ing re l t l u o abo contr

Source: Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women

What men REALLY want

I

(Hint: It’s not what you think)

think my fiancee, Nikki, is awesome because she enjoys the time we spend together. We like to spend time running, hanging with friends, playing with our dog and traveling. As we spend more time together, we find out that we love each other more than the day before.” — Joel Rasmussen, 24 “We’ve been married for over 3 1/2 years, but have been together for seven. One of the main reasons I think we’ve been able to work so well is our very similar senses of humor. More often than not if it makes me laugh I know she’ll be laughing too. I’m an avid runner, and she is also very good at making sacrifices for me when I have long runs or races. Keeping our schedules flexible makes things much easier for us of course, it also helps to not have kids to work around. She knows when I’m having a bad day or just in a bad mood, but also when I need to be cheered up or just left alone. She always has a kiss for me when I get home, and first thing in the morning. In short she’s my perfect foil.” — Andrew Drysdal, 27 “I guess what I look for in a girl that I would have a relationship with is someone who’s attractive with a good sense of humor and is independent enough to let me do stuff with the guys but still fits in well with my friends for group events.” — Andy Hodge, 25 “

10 things that your hubby or boyfriend will instantly appreciate:

1. Everyone likes a little attention When you come home from work, ask him how his day went and take just a couple of minutes to talk before getting to all those things you have to do.

2. Surprise him by doing a “man” chore There are often clear gender roles for all the house chores. Maybe you do all the dishes and he mows the lawn. Just once in a while do one of his “man” chores and you’ll definitely notice how much he appreciates it — and maybe he’ll feel like returning the favor.

3. Take care of your car Men easily get annoyed when they learn that you may need expensive work done on your car because you didn’t take care of some scheduled maintenance. So get those squeaky brakes checked out and don’t wait for him to notice and do it for you.

24 | SMM | Venus 2011

4. Don’t nag him about watching sports Men have an unidentifiable affinity for watching sports that not all women understand. You know how angry he gets when you nag him about the habit, so just let it go.

5. Have an easy-to-understand list of chores Men like clear directions because their idea of cleaning might be different than yours.

Instead of just saying “clean the bathroom,” make sure he knows what you mean so there doesn’t have to be a fight after he’s done.

6. Cook or bake his favorite thing It’s no secret that some men just don’t like to cook and would eat like bachelors without you. Indulge them once in a while with something that takes some time to create.

7. When you’re a good parent Men see how you parent your kids and they appreciate it — often they feel clueless and impatient with kids so they love when you can handle situations they don’t know how to deal with. (They also love seeing the love you have for your kids).

8. Don’t stop him from his time with

friends Of course you should have plenty of time together as a couple doing things you both enjoy, but don’t stop him from hanging out with his guy friends. Both of you should have time away from each other to hang out with your friends, and it will strengthen your bond.

9. Try things he likes Though you should both have your own hobbies, it’s important to give each others’ hobbies a try, too. Even if you don’t love playing poker or shooting hoops, give it a try because your guy will love that you’re taking an interest in one of his passions.

10. Take care of some of the little things While annoying tasks should be split up as evenly as possible, it doesn’t hurt to be the one who runs to get takeout or offers to do some of the driving on long car rides. If you give your man a break from some of the boring daily tasks hopefully he’ll do the same in return.

—Kelli Lageson

10 Ways to

❧ RELATe

Spice it Up!

By Angie Hoffman

So you want to do something special for your beloved, but find you’re stumped for ideas? Whether you are celebrating four months together or 40 years, don’t worry – there’s always a new way you can express your love.

At its core, romance simply involves doing something to express affection in a meaningful, yet unexpected way. If you haven’t tried these ideas yet, here’s a place to start:

Place a single flower under the windshield wiper of his/her car.

Re-enact your first date.

Buy her a charm bracelet. They keep good memories alive and provide a built-in gift idea for any occasion.

Carry her over the threshold of your house (or apartment).

Call a local radio station and request a special love song to be dedicated to your partner. It’s likely to make both of you feel like young lovers again. Make sure they’re listening!

Visit a karaoke bar and surprise your guy by getting up and singing “your song” to him.

You’ve had dinner by candlelight, now serve breakfast by candlelight.

Carve your initials together into a tree.

Hire an artist to recreate a special photo.

Buy a guidebook for the general area where you live and visit someplace you’ve never been.

Venus 2011 | SMM | 25

Is Marriage relevant?

It depends on who you ask

Story by Amanda Lillie Many women know the feeling — that feeling of drifting off into a daydream wonderland of engagement rings, wedding dresses, honeymooning and the oh-so-mystical idea of happily ever after.

It’s a feeling that can bring on the warm fuzzies faster than a tanning bed but can also spark the overwhelming urge to vomit from sheer terror.

However, with the number of couples living together before marriage hovering a few percentage points below 50, some women may be opting for a trial period before heading into the unknown territory of lifelong commitment.

David Jamison, licensed marriage and family therapist of the Rochester Marriage and Family Wellness Center Inc., said about half his clients are couples who are unmarried and living together or who at some point cohabited before marriage. Jamison said these couples usually live together to see if they’re compatible for marriage.

“That’s a misnomer, though,” 26 | SMM | Venus 2011

Jamison said. “There’s a higher percentage of divorce among couples that have lived together before marriage.”

Elizabeth Newman, 23, disagrees that divorce would be more likely among couples who cohabitate pre-maritally.

“It seems a little ridiculous to say someone got a divorce because they lived together first,” Newman said. “Why would you not live with somebody before you marry them? You don’t know anything about a person until you live with them.”

Newman lives in Kasson with her boyfriend, Spencer Klemm, of a year and a half. Although she admits some people may think she and her other half jumped the gun by moving in together after only five months of dating, she said it seemed like the natural course of action since she spent so many nights sleeping over at his house.

The only difference between cohabitation and marriage for Newman is that her last name will change.

“People seem to think there’s going to be a huge change when they get married,” she said. “It’s kind of just a label to me. What would change but my last name? Nothing.”

For Jamison, marriage is a bigger commitment than simply living with someone. Since there is nothing legally binding about cohabitation, couples can sometimes be blindsided by the gravity of marriage. According to Jamison, if a couple hasn’t worked on its communication skills enough prior to marriage, things can unravel quickly. “‘Communication is the key to marriage’ is much more than a cliche. It really is the key,” he said. “Defensiveness probably destroys more marriages and cohabitating couples than anything else.”

The biggest issue Jamison sees in unmarried, cohabitating couples is just that — a lack of communication and an overabundance of defensiveness in arguments. The lack of communication, in Jamison’s opinion, is because cohabitating couples may not realize the enormous amount of work that goes into a marriage-like relationship, therefore they tend to fall short when it comes to relationship upkeep.

“They’re playing at marriage,” he said. “They may work a little harder at keeping their relationship going because they’re thinking of getting married, but marriage is a whole new ballgame.”

For those couples who already look at their relationships in the same light as marriage, the communication issue has already been dealt with.

Amanda Campbell, 24, has lived with her boyfriend in Owatonna for over a year and agrees with Newman that, overall, marriage won’t change the way in which she and her boyfriend relate to each other, particularly because the two already have good communication skills.

“Neither of us have ever come across any major issues with each other,” Campbell said about her relationship with her boyfriend.

“I’m able to tell him when he’s pissing me off and he’s able to do the same. We talk about our problems — we don’t just let them slide under the table.”

“I’ve never had that in any kind of romantic relationship,” she added.

Other than communication skills, one of the most important parts of marriage is simply being ready for the commitment it entails, Jamison said. A lifelong commitment can be overwhelming, and couples should be emotionally prepared, otherwise happily ever after may never come.

“Preparing for that commitment and learning how to have an ‘I care about you’ attitude — if those things aren’t there and practiced, then the marriage isn’t going to make it,” Jamison said. “Love is a commitment. Feelings are the byproduct of doing the right thing in that commitment.”

Venus 2011 | SMM | 27

Watching for

adolescent depression

By Michelle Haacke

I

t seems like you hear more and more in the media about depression in adolescents every day.

However, the reality is that the number of adolescents diagnosed with depression remains about the same as it has been over the past decade.

“The trend has maintained about the same rates, but the detection has gotten better,” said Dr. Kathryn Schak. “That’s likely due to increased awareness and early identification.”

Schak is a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Austin Medical Center, part of Mayo Health System. She treats children and adolescents from across the south central region of the state.

According to Schak, about 5 percent of kids under the age of 18, from the general population, will be diagnosed with clinical depression. When she talks about adolescents, she’s talking about children from tweens to teens: ages 12 to 18.

Although Schak has seen cases where children as young as 6 or 7 years old have experienced symptoms of depression, she said those cases are very rare and in those situations, the behavior is secondary to a bigger issue, such as neglect or trauma that the youngster has likely experienced.

She said depression in adolescents is similar to that of adults.

Biological factors may make a teen or preteen more predisposed to showing signs of depression. Not only a predisposition to depression, but an adolescent’s overall personality may play into it. Hormones may also contribute to depressive symptoms, along with hormonal changes a child goes through into puberty.

Changes in social circumstances and changes in the environment are other reasons reported in adolescents who are showing signs of depression. In teens, dating, friendships and relationships can also be key.

More than anything, however, Schak said the symptoms of childhood depression are caused by many factors.

“You generally can’t identify one simple cause,” Schak said. “The loss of a significant person in a child’s life may be one example.”

She said symptoms are broad, but may include social withdrawal, more disruptive behavior, more emotional or moody behavior and disrupted sleep patterns.

According to www.aacap.org, children and teens suffering from clinical depression often exhibit several of the following symptoms: • Irritability or anger • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt • Incessant feelings of sadness, hopelessness • Increased anxiety, tension or panic • Pessimism • Vocal outbursts or crying • Social withdrawal • Loss of interest in activities at home or with friends, in school, extracurricular activities and in other hobbies or interests • Heightened sensitivity to rejection • Significant increases or decreases in appetite • Noticeable changes in sleep habits — insomnia or excessive sleep • Fatigue and sluggishness • Restlessness, agitation and increased fidgeting • Difficulty concentrating • Self-harm such as cutting or taking excessive physical risks • Suicidal thoughts

“The biggest difference between adults and children is crabbiness,” said Schak.

She said irritability is a key symptom in identifying signs of depression in adolescents. “They don’t necessarily have to say they are sad or depressed, but they may have a very bad temper, can be irritable, and they’re basically very difficult for adults to be around.”

Other symptoms Schak advises parents to look for is decreased interest in activities, changes in appetite and having a tough time sleeping — or sleeping too much. Feelings of physically slowing down and expressing guilt over things that may have happened weeks ago are other things parents can look for.

Sometimes, adolescents will show signs often associated with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, such as anxiousness or appearing keyed up, along with difficulties in concentration.

“It’s not uncommon for children showing possible signs of ADHD to be identified as depressed,” Schak said.

Schak said children are generally referred to her through a pediatrician. Treatment will depend on how long the symptoms have been going on, the child’s age, and how impairing the symptoms are — meaning how much the symptoms are getting in the way of the teen or pre-teen living a “normal” life.

“If the child can’t get out of bed and is tearful, or has a heightened anxiety about going to school, then that’s a significant impairment,” Schak said.

Talk therapy or psychotherapy is generally first recommendation by Schak, with medications used in more severe cases or when psychotherapy was not found to be effective.

The most dangerous outcome of depression in adolescents is suicide. Schak said it’s crucial that parents identify suicidal behavior and thoughts, and get the child help in those situations.

“We’ve got to make sure we’re communicating with our kids,” she said.

Things to look for in this situation include adolescents displaying morbid thoughts, talking about topics related to death and self injurious behavior — or cutting.

“Monitoring any signs and changes from that baseline is important,” she said.

Schak often refers parents to the website www.aacap.org for more information and guidelines with depression in adolescents.

By Kelli Lageson

Am I Fat? Creating a healthy body image

I

t’s almost that time of year when women are tearing through their closets putting away bulky winter clothes and pulling out the summer dresses and swimsuits.

For many women it’s a time to break out the fun and flirty skirts and flip-flops. For others it’s a time to feel insecure. The stress of baring it all can cause some to go to extremes to meet unhealthy weight loss goals — a red flag that an eating disorder may be to blame.

The most important thing to know about eating disorders is that help is available.

Therapy is often the most effective way to help people struggling with eating disorders, because the problems become much more than physical.

People with eating disorders often deny or do not realize they have a problem. Eating disorders are long-term and require serious psychological treatment and medical care.

Early diagnosis and treatment of eating disorders leads to more favorable outcomes.

Right here in southern Minnesota, Mayo Clinic has programs to help treat people with eating disorders. Mayo has an extensive history of treating eating disorders, including

anorexia nervosa and bulimia, through outpatient and inpatient programs.

Psychologists and psychiatrists who specialize in eating disorders develop treatment plans personalized to each patient’s needs.

Mayo’s inpatient program emphasizes family-based therapy, in which patients' parents and family members become an integral part of the treatment team. Patients treated with Mayo’s family-based therapy have much higher recovery rates and lower readmission rates than patients treated in standard treatment programs.

Using family-based therapy helps those with eating disorders because they are able to work on the healing process with those who are close to them. After treatment their family will be around to help continue with the recovery process.

When you hear the words “eating disorder” you often picture teenage girls who are underweight from anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. What you might not have considered was chronic overeating, which one psychologist in Albert Lea sees more of.

Susan Welnel, a licensed psychologist who works at Albert Lea Medical Center, works mostly with adults who need to change their

eating habits and become more healthy.

“Overeating is often emotional,” Welnel said. “We have to get them to think differently about food.”

Surprisingly, overeating, undereating and binge eating share some similar characteristics. Overeating is long-term consumption of excess food while people with anorexia or bulimia often do not consume enough calories. Often more women develop eating disorders than men.

Symptoms include fantasizing about food and an obsession with body weight, size and shape. Binge eating, secretly eating food and purging, as well as using or abusing laxatives, can be symptoms of eating disorders. Side effects of having an eating disorder are often serious. Eating disorders can cause serious physical and mental health problems, including adverse effects on the heart, digestive system, teeth and mouth, plus conditions such as osteoporosis, anemia, and kidney and liver diseases.

Welnel said teens suffering from anorexia or bulimia are often treated at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, where there are programs to deal with those disorders specifically.

Venus 2011 | SMM | 29

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final word ❧

From

dragging to dopamine The

S

omething was wrong. I was standing at the front of Home Depot with my husband, Graham. We had to walk to the back of the store to look at bedroom doors, but it seemed like a Herculean task. I couldn’t do it.

“What do we need doors for? We’ve got nothing to hide. Let’s look at something closer. Tarps are right there. We’ll hang tarps where the doors should be.”

Lately the simplest activities filled me with fatigue. I had no energy.

I went to my acupuncturist. Surely she could give me back my get-up-and-go. “You can do it!” I encouraged her. “Use knitting needles if you have to. I’m tough!”

Acupuncture is a miracle of ancient medicine, but it couldn’t put muscle mass back on my body or give me sustained vitality any more than those pills and quick energy potions at the drug store could. I knew what I had to do. My life was missing one element of the trinity of healthy living. I was eating well and taking my vitamins, but I wasn’t exercising. To be honest, I was barely moving.

I’ve always hated going to the gym. I spent four years of high school trying to figure out how to get out of gym. I had my parents, teachers and doctor convinced that I was allergic to sweat, all sweat. As far as they knew, I would break out in hives if I sat too close to a pop can on a humid day. The irony of paying money to go to a gym was so heavy I gained a pound just thinking about it. Yet it was clear that at 40 years old I wasn’t bouncing back from a winter of sitting in the house like I used to. I had to force this mess to its crisis. That’s how I ended up with my picture on a little plastic gym card looking startled and confused.

There is much to consider when you 32 | SMM | Venus 2011

joys of exercising

haven’t exercised in a while. Start slowly. The only person who goes from lethargic to athletic in an instant is Clark Kent, so on the first day I chatted with the guy at the checkin and spent 20 minutes in the sauna reading the sports page. I did climb up to the second bench and down again. I sure felt that the next morning.

The next day I chose my poison. The treadmill made me feel like a hamster in a wheel. The Stairmaster was too much like being stuck on the stairs to nowhere in an M.C. Escher painting. The elliptical was just right. It was half-bike, half-dance-partner, and it let me lead. A smooth ride for your whole body, it could be as easy or as challenging as you wanted it to be.

Regardless of which equipment you choose, you must consider your choice of music carefully. In the beginning rock anthems are dangerous. They’ll get your blood pumping, but at some point you’ll want to throw your head back and pump your fists in

the air. If you’re not ready, you could fly off your machine and end up in someone’s lap. I’d stay away from The Who, Springsteen and Billy Idol until you’re steady on your feet.

U2 worked well for me for a while until all that Irish rebellion started interrupting my

home life. When Graham asked for dinner and I answered, “Keep askin’ me why don’ cha? There’ll be wigs on the green before you can grab a bag of taytos and bolt. I’m as weak as a salmon in a sandpit myself so you better dry up and settle down!” I knew I had to put the boys from Dublin away for a while.

After a couple of weeks, I decided it was time to try a class. Gentle Flow Yoga was a joy. It was quiet. There was soft music. It was almost like being home in bed. In fact I think I fell asleep. Though I was upside down so I might have just blacked out for a minute.

I should have known by the name of my next class, No Limits, that I was in the wrong place. I had limits. What was the point of sprinting from one end of the gym to the other if there was nothing chasing you? I couldn’t get into it. Maybe I wouldn’t have so many limits if they turned a badger loose in t h e re and offered a crown to the last one standing.

At the end of a month I felt something strange. I knew how quickly you could sense the benefits of exercise, grow your own dopamine and all that, but I’d never experienced it before.

There was a sense of well being where my exhaustion used to be. Instead of dragging myself around the house, I bounced. My head was clear and everything around me looked brighter.

Maybe I didn’t hate exercise after all. Maybe I just hated getting started.

The other day Graham and I went back to Home Depot to look at appliances. They were at the very back of the store. “I’ll race you!” I shouted and left him in the dust.

Alexandra Kloster is a freelance writer living in Woodbury. Her column, Pass the Hot Dish, appears every Sunday in the Albert Lea Tribune. Her blog is Radishes at Dawn at alexandrakloster.com.

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DVR and HD Receiver 2 FREE HD 298 value! Additional fees apply.

Upgrades

$

Independent channels.

In select markets.

507-396-4722

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Offers end 7/20/2011. Credit card required (except in MA & PA). New approved customers only (lease required). $19.95 Handling & Delivery fee may apply. Applicable use tax adjustment may apply on the retail value of the installation. *BILL CREDIT/PROGRAMMING OFFER: IF BY THE END OF PROMOTIONAL PRICE PERIOD(S) CUSTOMER DOES NOT CONTACT DIRECTV TO CHANGE SERVICE THEN ALL SERVICES WILL AUTOMATICALLY CONTINUE AT THE THEN-PREVAILING RATES. Free SHOWTIME for 3 months, a value of $38.97. Free HBO, Starz, SHOWTIME and Cinemax for 3 months, a value of $135. LIMIT ONE PROGRAMMING OFFER PER ACCOUNT. Featured package names and prices: CHOICE $60.99/mo.; CHOICE XTRA $65.99/mo.; CHOICE ULTIMATE $70.99/mo. Prices include a $26 bill credit for 12 months after rebate, plus an additional $5 with online rebate and consent to email alerts. Bill credit amount will change to $16/mo. in months 13-24. Eligibility based on ZIP code. Upon DIRECTV System activation, customer will receive rebate redemption instructions (included in customer’s first DIRECTV bill, a separate mailing, or, in the state of New York, from retailer) and must comply with the terms of the instructions. In order to receive $31 monthly credits, customer must submit rebate online (valid email address required) and consent to email alerts prior to rebate redemption. Rebate begins up to 8 weeks after receipt of rebate submission online or by phone. Duration of promotional price varies based on redemption date. †FREE HD OFFER: Includes access to HD channels associated with your programming package. To be eligible for Free HD you must activate and maintain the CHOICE XTRA Package or higher and enroll in Auto Bill Pay. Also requires at least one (1) HD Receiver and activation of HD Access. Account must be in “good standing” as determined by DIRECTV in its sole discretion to remain eligible for all offers. In certain markets, programming/pricing may vary. **2-YR. LEASE AGREEMENT: EARLY CANCELLATION WILL RESULT IN A FEE OF $20/MONTH FOR EACH REMAINING MONTH. Must maintain 24 consecutive months of your DIRECTV programming package. DVR Service $7/mo. required for DVR and HD DVR lease. HD Access fee $10/mo. required for HD Receiver and HD DVR. No lease fee for only 1 receiver.

Lease for first two receivers $6/mo.; additional receiver leases $6/mo. each. NON-ACTIVATION CHARGE OF $150 PER RECEIVER MAY APPLY. ALL EQUIPMENT IS LEASED AND MUST BE RETURNED TO DIRECTV UPON CANCELLATION, OR UNRETURNED EQUIPMENT FEES APPLY. VISIT directv.com OR CALL 1-800-DIRECTV FOR DETAILS. Advanced receiver instant rebate requires activation of the CHOICE XTRA Package or above; MÁS ULTRA or above (for DVR Receiver, OPTIMO MÁS Package or above); Jadeworld; or any qualifying international service bundle, which shall include the PREFERRED CHOICE programming package (valued at $39.99/mo.). Second advanced receiver offer requires activation of an HD DVR as the first free receiver upgrade and subscription to Whole-Home DVR service ($3/mo.). Additional advanced receiver upgrades available for a charge. INSTALLATION: Standard professional installation only. Custom installation extra.

DIRECTV CINEMA: Access to DIRECTV CINEMA programming available at no additional charge is based on package selection. Actual number of TV shows and movies will vary. Some DIRECTV CINEMA content requires an HD DVR (HR20 or later) or DVR (R22 or later), DIRECTV CINEMA Connection Kit ($25) and broadband Internet service with speeds of 750 kbps or higher and a network router with an available Ethernet port are required. DVR Service required for DVR and HD DVR Receivers. HD Access required for HD DVR. Visit directv.com/cinema for details.

Customer satisfaction based on 2010 American Customer Satisfaction Index. Local channels eligibility based on service address. Not all networks available in all markets. Programming, pricing, terms and conditions subject to change at any time. Pricing residential. Taxes not included. Receipt of DIRECTV programming subject to DIRECTV Customer Agreement; copy provided at directv.com/legal and in order confirmation. ©2011 DIRECTV, Inc. DIRECTV and the Cyclone Design logo, DIRECTV CINEMA, CHOICE, CHOICE XTRA and CHOICE ULTIMATE are trademarks of DIRECTV, Inc. All other trademarks and service marks are the property of their respective owners.