TM
Get your Estate Plan Drafted Stay trim with
dairy
Never GIVE UP the Good Fight
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Publishers Letter
Mimi Zellman
A Month of Celebration Dear Readers, Mother’s Day is this month and I am dedicating this issue to my daughters, who are wonderful mothers and are women with know how! My oldest daughter Jennifer Heit is assistant marketing director for KPMG Audit, Tax and Advisory services in Woodcliff Lake New Jersey. She started her career after college in the ad agency arena and quickly rose through the ranks with a move to California. She is a remarkable young woman and excels at everything she does! Becoming a mother has made her blossom even more, and my granddaughter is a joy!
“” I am dedicating this issue to my daughters.
My youngest daughter Jessica Ash, is an inspiration to me. At the end of her junior year at American University, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer that thankfully was caught in the very early stage! Even that didn’t stop her from acing her finals, knowing she faced more surgery here in Charlotte. She met her husband here, and they now live in New York City. Jessica beat the odds again and got pregnant with my grandson. She went back to school to get her law degree, and in her third semester, got pregnant with twins, due next month, beating the odds again. Miracles do happen, and she is an example that they do! Jennifer and Jessica, you are two incredible women and I’m very proud of you! I know you all will find Shirley Fulton, this month’s featured Woman With Know How, to be another amazing woman who is an inspiration to us all as well ! Happy Mother’s Day to all our readers. Have a wonderful month! Mimi
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COntents
Features
12
22
30
36
Cover Story Shirley Fulton
Family Features Stay Trim With Dairy
Life Get your Estate Plan Drafted
Food Sizzling Summer Salads
Departments
Your Career Robyn Crigger
Communication Janet Anderson
Your Career Mary Cantando
6 8 16
Professional Spotlight Mara Campolungo and Karen Rosenthal Dortschy
Personal forcast Marcie Williams-Browning
Inner Creative Cristina Cassidy
marketing Mary Elizabeth Murphy
18 24 26 34
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Announcing Our New Online Store You know your stuff, now show the world! Whether you’re heading to your company’s board meeting or your daughter’s soccer practice, you’ll be stylin’ when you show the world that you are a Woman With Know-how. We’ve handpicked a select group of items all in rich black, to showase the gorgeous fuchsia pink and silver metallic embroidered message that tells everyone you are truly a woman to be reckoned with.
Serving Charlotte and Charleston Publisher/President
Mimi L. Zelman mimi@womenwithknowhow.com Creative Director, Graphic Design
SPARK Publications Fabi@SPARKpublications.om Copy Editor
Cristina Cassidy Sales Representatives
Kim Hughes kim@womenwithknowhow.com Margo Lord Margo@womenwithknowhow.com Contributing Writers
Dawn Leitner of Coach You 2Lead Janet Anderson of Anderson PC Training Kim Hughes of Women With Know How Charleston
Contact Mimi Zelman 704-491-1207 mimi@womenwithknowhow.com For more advertising information call Mimi at 704-491-1207 or email her at: mimi@womenwithknowhow.com Copyright ©2010
Go to www.womenwithknowhow.com Cover photography: by Episode XI Studios, LLC 4 ®
t
Step out in style a
Enjoy an upscale fashion show and silent auction, with all proceeds benefiting the Ronald McDonald House of Charlotte. So, slip into your favorite shoes and strut on over to Girls’ Night Out – it’s the perfect place to glam it up for a great cause!
When:
Thursday, May 13, 2010 6:00 PM – Registration/Cocktail Hour/Silent Auction 7:00 PM – Fashion Show Where: The Atrium at 2 Wachovia, Uptown Charlotte Tickets: Pumps, $55 per person Includes general admission, parking and 3 beverage tickets
The Cocktail Party, $250 for party of four Includes reserved high-top table seating, parking and 3 beverage tickets per person
Stilettos, $85 per person Includes VIP stage-front reserved seating during fashion show, parking, silent auction preview party with champagne, 5 beverage tickets and a VIP swag bag
RSVP by April 29, 2010 by emailing Margaret Penrose at margaretpenrose@rmhofcharlotte.org or calling 704-335-1191.
Your Career
Robyn Crigger, CEO Compass Career Management Solutions–OI Partners Inc.
What is a Fair Salary?
G
etting the Right Job, Also Means Getting the Right Pay When talking with women who are job searching, I find that a woman may not know for sure what she wants her future position to be, but she knows how much she needs or wants to earn. That, however, may be putting the cart before the horse.
Factors that determine rate of pay A person’s skills and responsibilities greatly impact on the rate of a position. In fact, many factors are involved. If you understand this, it might help you select a more appropriate career path. In my business, INFO MORE c. – Compass I like to see a person select ent ners In OI Part eer Managem a career that matches their ns Car Solutio om .c r e e r ca skills and passion. Doing mpass www.co 04) 849-2500 er.com re (7 a sc this will make their work compas rcrigger@ experiences more fulfilling and lead to good retention. Here are some commonly known factors that can determine a position's 6 ®
rate of pay: n The more responsibility attached to the job, the higher worth of that employee. n The more experience in that role, the more that person brings to the job. n If the candidate has good references from people of high stature and prominence, that can lead to higher pay; it adds credibility. n Other factors include the size, volume and success of the employer. If the company is small, it may not be as competitive with salary, though this is not always the case. n Location can impact the salary. Some cities have higher salaries than others due to the “cost of living." Experience affects the salary You need to be realistic and note that the length of experience can also impact the salary. One way to help yourself is to take extra training or classes in your field in order to stand out from others. Of course, with
There are ways to be compensated in a job other than through a salary.
this extra training an employer will also expect better production, results, etc. Strong communication skills can also factor into the rate of pay. If a job search candidate is able to “connect” with the decision maker, this relationship can make it easier for the candidate to negotiate a better salary.
“on the spot." Give yourself time to think through the offer carefully. Take enough time to review the entire offer and possibly have a professional friend give their observations. Don’t, however, put the employer off too long before responding. Be sure to request the offer in writing. Once a company has made a decision on you, be respectful and respond to them relatively soon. When you have gathered all the facts, then you can decide if the salary offer is acceptable. If you follow these simple guidelines, chances are you will be successful in securing fair and adequate compensation for the job you are being hired to do.
Check out the perks Remember that there are ways to be compensated in a job other than through a salary. A wise job search candidate examines and researches what benefits other current employees receive. Note if anyone is receiving some unusual perks or compensation such as country club fees paid, additional travel expense money, extra vacation days, a company car, added medical insurance coverage, etc. Do enough research to know how to carefully select items that seem more reasonable versus pushing too hard for everything. Review the offer Never bring up any discussion on salary until you receive a formal job offer. It is also never wise to accept a job offer 7 ®
Communication
Janet Anderson, Anderson PC Training
The “Smartphone Prayer” Are Doing it?
T
echnology is great, but is it keeping us from connecting with others?
OK. I know I am part of the Baby boomers generation yet I am in the technical field and understand how connectivity is the way the world works. . But I am concerned about the progression of our technology and how it is affecting our culture and our interaction with others. Are you guilty of the ‘Smartphone prayer’ where you are deep in thought and concentration with your head bowed in dedication? O F IN
MOREPC Training
How is your everyday life different?... During our daily lives all of us are seeing this happen. Recently at a car wash after I paid the fee, I walked to where everyone was waiting for their car. I sat next to a man checking his email and a 10-year-old boy playing a Star
on .com Anders raining sonpct 066 r e d n www.a 980.428.2
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Wars game on a gaming unit. The StarWars theme was blaring, so I got up and went outside where four other people were sitting on benches. The noise from the car wash was loud, but the silence from the people waiting was deafening. EVERY one of them was doing the “Smartphone prayer.” Everyone was in their own cocoon. I love to meet new people and interact with them. After all, I am a teacher/ trainer and help thousands of students improve their skills. I offer online classes, but I never want to lose the connection I have with my students. There have been times when I changed a life. Make a difference in someone’s life… For example, I had a woman in a Windows class whose body language was very clear…she was nervous. I went over, introduced myself and asked what her experiences were and
Do we really NEED to be that connected electronically ALL the time? I like to know when I visit family, I am truly giving my attention 100 percent.
what she was looking to get out of the class. She said that her husband died and she had to return to work after being out of the work force for 30 years. She was very concerned she would not be able to learn this stuff, and to make things worse, her boss was going to be in the class. I told her to stick it out through the first break and if she still felt overwhelmed, she had my permission to leave and we would schedule one-on-one training for her.
with a smile on her face and quite happy with herself that indeed she could learn it. This experience gave her the confidence she was lacking.
Not only did she make it through the first break, but also ended up the day
Another student had an important decision to make - to live with her
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ex-husband or move in with her mother. Since she was my only student in the class that day, we had time to talk. At first she was distraught, but after a lengthy discussion, she discovered what her heart was telling her and she created a plan. If either of these students had done the ‘Smartphone prayer’ to avoid the stressful situation each was in, these interactions would not have happened. I’d like to think that the ability to talk with someone not close to the situation made a difference. Respect yourself… Directly related to my teaching was
a situation where I actually had two students in the back of the class”Blackberrying.” I talked with them privately and they said, “In this economy, we need to stay connected.” I used to feel that if a student chose not to get their money’s worth out of the class, that was their choice. Now I feel differently. When it disrupts the rest of the class…clicking sounds, light from screen or when they are asking you to do the task again because they missed it…I draw the line. Regardless whether or not they are disrupting the class, it is extremely disrespectful to me and the other students who have given their time
Karen Hund
Overture introduces you and your colleagues to potential clients using our acclaimed multimedia presentation. Many businesses, especially those in professional services, need more than a website and print collateral. The prospect has to meet you. Establishing personal chemistry is the key to cultivating a relationship, then earning a client’s business. “ We like to buy from people we like.” To find out more, call Karen Hund at 704.907.4376 or visit our website — www.cv-vision.com
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for learning. Is my class not worthy of your attention? Is this time to learn new techniques not important? Now, I use a PowerPoint presentation in the beginning of class that states the expectations for the class and how the students can get the most out of the day which includes being totally engaged. Certainly during breaks and lunch they can “work.” That single moment in time where a kindness is given that might change your life, is something you might miss. Do we really NEED to be that connected electronically ALL the time? I like to know when I visit family, I am truly giving my attention 100 percent. I don’t even
check e-mail. Looking into my new granddaughter’s eyes is a much better view than any app on my iphone. A challenge for you… I challenge you for one week to use your phone to talk with others (not just texting), make arrangements to meet with people in person, send someone a picture, or tell someone you love them, but not at the expense of people right in front of you. The technology has GREAT applications…use them wisely. Let’s not forget how we care for each other and how we learn from each other. Here endeth the sermon.
Behind on your mortgage - facing foreclosure - get the facts visit www.carolinabankowned.com Shirley Smith 704.777.9525 11 ®
by Kimberly Hughes
Never GIVE UP the Good Fight 12 速
“F
”
You find a way to do everything you want to.
rom Poverty to Influence, Shirley Fulton Has Never Forgotten to Give Back
Each and every one of us is born with greatness and the unlimited potential for success, and it is up to each of us whether or not we will develop these gifts. We all have our own beliefs about what constitutes greatness and success, but only a few individuals provide the rest of us with the inspiration to excel and the motivation to overcome adversity. Enter, Shirley Fulton. The Framework to Mold a Future Shirley Fulton was born in Kingstree, South Carolina, a small, country town in the "Low Country." Shirley grew up on a cotton and tobacco farm where she worked alongside her four brothers and sisters. Her siblings and she ran the daily operations of the farm while her father worked outside of the home to support the family. Due to school transfers and her heightened intelligence, Shirley graduated from high school at the age of 16. The first of her brothers and sisters to leave for college, Shirley enrolled in North Carolina A&T where she studied business administration. At 16 years-old, Shirley had the daunting task of juggling college while working to support herself and pay for a portion of her schooling left after scholarships and financial aid. Shortly before starting her junior year of college, Shirley eloped and decided to forego her final year of school. She then began working for the Register of Deeds office in Guilford County.
While working at the Register of Deeds, Shirley got to know many of the lawyers who worked there, and eventually realized she wanted to be a lawyer. After five years of working with the Register of Deeds, she decided to finish her undergraduate degree at North Carolina A&T and proceed to law school. “I had a goal in mind. I knew where I wanted to go and I knew where I wanted to be," says Shirley.
By the time she was ready to go to law school, she was divorced and had a five-year-old son. Being a single mom and raising a child alone did not block Shirley’s path to success. “You find a way to do everything that you want to do," Shirley says. "Some people use excuses, and I don’t accept that. Being a single parent is not easy, but it is not an excuse." The Journey Continues Back to School After graduating from North Carolina A&T, Shirley attended law school at the Duke University School of Law. She shared her first day of law school with her son’s first day of kindergarten and from that point on they pursued their educational paths together. Shirley’s sister moved in to help Shirley care for her son while she went to school. Shirley also was working for a small law firm part-time to pay the bills. After working there for three years, she quit to give more of her time to her son. She started looking for a job that would fit better with her schedule and her son’s needs. 13 ®
The Call That Changed Her Journey During her job search, Shirley received a call from one of her professors saying that the District Attorney’s office in Charlotte was looking for a student to fill a position and that she should apply. Shirley was apprehensive about the job at first because she couldn't see herself as a district attorney, nor was it something that she was passionate about. After learning more about the position, however, she found that she liked the careful, case-by-case preparation that went into the role of being a district attorney. In 1982, Shirley had an interview with the then and current District Attorney, Peter Gilchrist, who was also a Duke graduate. During the interview, Peter asked Shirley where she saw herself ten years. “I really hadn’t thought much about that,” says Shirley. “I was a single mom trying to make it on a daily basis, but what I said to him was that I wanted to be judge and he said to me ‘Well, we will help you get there.' He was true to his word and has supported me every step of the way from the day I stepped into that office until this very day.”
Perseverance Against All Opposition Through her successes, both in her career and personally, Shirley proved her ability to persevere against all odds. One of her personal struggles has been with her health, and she is a two-time breast cancer survivor, having beaten the disease once in 1993 and again, in 1995. She didn't take her first bout with breast cancer too seriously. Shirley reflects, “I had heard about breast cancer and I knew that if I went through treatment and did what I was supposed to do, I would be okay. I was in a ‘hurry up and get this over with’ mode." Shirley endured chemo, radiation and a lumpectomy and thought that all signs of cancer were removed. Two years later, after being in remission, Shirley found that the cancer had returned in the same location. “I felt betrayed in a lot of ways. I felt betrayed by my body, by my doctors – I was just angry.” Shirley told her doctors that treatment had to be handled differently this time because clearly the prior treatments didn’t work. “I needed to have some assurance that at least I would have a fighting chance,” says Shirley. Her doctor did some research and found a program at Duke University Hospital where bone marrow transplants and high dose chemotherapy were being done. In January 1996, Shirley started her treatments. During the process, her body was torn down to its lowest common denominator. “I lost many things due to the side effects. I lost my high pitch hearing, due to nerve damage. I had low breathing capacity and was on oxygen 24/7. What was supposed to be a six week journey, turned into a year, and I spent all of 1996 recovering.”
14 ®
she campaigned remotely. Her determination and strength once again paid off. Shirley was reelected as a judge, without opposition.
Though her recovery was painful, Shirley never let her negative thoughts take over. “I was determined. I did come to terms with death because I decided if that was going to be my fate, then I was willing to accept that, but I was not going to ever give up the fight.” Making the Most Out of the Worst During her recovery, Shirley had a lot of time to reflect on herself, who she was and what she wanted to be. She determined that she was going to do all the things that she wanted to do, and she needed to do them now. Shirley was initially appointed as a judge to the district court bench by then Governor James Martin in 1986 and elected to the superior court bench in 1988, where she served until 2003, the last five years as senior resident (chief) superior court judge. While Shirley was in Duke University Hospital, her friends filed the correct paperwork for her to run for reelection and campaigned for her, while
Reflections of the Past Propelling Her to the Future Today, Shirley is the proud owner of the Wadsworth Estate, formally the Wadsworth House, an event center and wedding chapel that is intimately connected with the Charlotte School of Law and the non-profit associated with the school, the Law and Community Foundation, which works to bridge the gap between the legal system and its community members. The Law and Community Foundation raises funds to support legal clinics for community members who cannot afford legal services, and also serves to raise scholarships for students to attend law school. “I want to leave a legacy of service and want people to remember me as a can do, will do, did do, all that I could do person to make Charlotte a better community,” states Shirley. Today, Shirley’s picture hangs on the wall of the Mecklenburg County Courthouse and she attributes much of that effort to Peter Gilchrist. “It is a real honor for me to walk down there and look up and see my picture. I am the only person of color that has been on that wall.” Those of us at Women With Know How would like to thank Shirely Fulton for being such a positive role model for women of all ages, backgrounds and ethnicities. She is the kind of woman who inspires the rest of us to go beyond our limitations, so that each and everyone of us, too, might be remembered as an "all that I could do person." 15 ®
Your Career
Mary Cantando, Growth Expert, The Women’s Advantage
Revamp Your Boring Business Card
T
ips on How to Make Your Business Card Stand Out From the Crowd
I recently presented at the Enterprising Women of the Year Annual Awards in Miami and came home with over 100 business cards. As I looked through them, I struggled to remember who some of these women were because they had such boring business cards. INFO MORE’s Advantage
man iz The Wo ntage.b nsAdva 01 a m o www.W (919) 841-04 Owner.com siness omanBu Mar y@W
If you want people to follow up with you, you have to be memorable, and to do this, your card has to stand out.
Here are 10 steps to create a memorable business card.
1. Give yourself a creative title. My title is “Growth Expert.” I selected that because that’s how women business owners think of me.
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2. Be clear about what you
do. This is especially important if you’ve got a company name like Jones & Associates. Is it a law firm, an accounting firm, a consulting firm? Who can tell?
3. Create a card that stands
out. Make it oversized or maybe an unusual shape. I met a woman in California who does custom bra fittings and her business card is shaped like a…you know what’s coming, right?…a BRA. That was six months ago and I still remember her and her card.
4. Pick a signature color and
stick with it. My color is green. I have three different business cards and they are all green. They’re not exactly the same, but go together like members of the same family.
5. Include all your social media info. Besides including your standard
info, consider listing your Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter accounts.
6. Print it on the highest quality card stock available. I once had my cards printed on flimsy cardstock to save $50. Do you believe it 50 bucks! Quality business cards are not a cost, they are an investment.
7. Don’t use an “I’m not a real
business” email address. Don’t use a gmail or AOL email address on your cards. This sends a message that you’re a woman who WANTS to be in business, rather than a serious professional.
8. Provide something of value
on your card. You might include a tip or idea, or a valuable link. One of my cards provides a discount code good for any of my web-based products.
9. Print them in bulk. Once
you’ve got a card that you love, have a LOT of them printed and give them out like water.
If you want people to follow up with you, you have to be memorable, and to do this, your card has to stand out.
10. Stand out from the crowd.
Be so different that everyone you give your card to wants to show it to everyone they know. I did that with the bra card! So remember, if you don’t have a GREAT card—one that people comment on—revamp it today!
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Professional Spotlight
Kimberly Hughes
Mara Campolungo and Karen Rosenthal Dortschy Sandbox Solutions
W
hat is Sandbox Solutions and what do you specialize in? While our focus is to assist small- and medium-sized organizations in creating and implementing strategic plans, and to develop identity and branding for businesses, services and products, we’re thinking “outside the box” on nearly every aspect of business, and having fun doing it! From an online store featuring a client’s company logo on shirts, hats and other items, to managing an organization’s social media marketing, to analyzing and reducing printing costs in marketing, HR or operations, to copywriting and copyediting, to creating a new company logo and tagline, Sandbox Solutions has the expertise, experience and ability to “plug and play” as our clients’ needs evolve. Karen Rosenthal Dortschy 18 ®
We all know that online exposure is more than a luxury; it is now
a necessity. For businesses that have not explored much of the online world, where do you suggest they start. Although social media seems to change by the nanosecond, we are strong advocates of creating and implementing a communications strategy that aligns social media with other marketing and communications. That strategy focuses on the right goals…whether you are trying to increase sales of an existing product, educate customers on your product usage, announce new services or employees. Smart businesses need to use a smart mix of communications tools—and Sandbox Solutions helps clients effectively improve and manage their online presence, from website to Facebook to blogs to Twitter. Your tagline is ‘Smart Business Isn’t Child’s Play.” Fill us in on what it means. We believe our tagline, “Because smart business isn’t child’s play" sums up our perspective on how we work with our clients. We help organizations use the right tools in their ‘sandboxes' and ours to grow their companies strategically, improve marketing and internal communications, and reduce costs in printing and other communications methods. We take our business communications seriously, but not ourselves. And that’s
Mara Campolungo
where the fun in our name and our business philosophy starts. Where do you find yourselves ‘playing’ outside of your work Sandbox? We’re both active in non-profit and professional organizations in Charlotte, including being members of Constructive Speakers Toastmasters, Advanced Communicators Toastmasters, Charlotte Seen, and Women with Know How Elite. Mara also volunteers with a number of local charities, including setting up The Lilly Foundation, while Karen volunteers 19 ®
time to Hopewell High School PTA and school activities. Mara and her husband are avid travelers, especially to warm places and beaches, and are getting ready to add yet another stamp in their passport this year. She has two stepdaughters and five grandchildren, and is the proud Godmother to five nieces and nephews. Karen is currently writing a non-fiction book on online dating (she met her husband on Match.com) and is training her Border Collie to compete in Rally Obedience. She also tries to keep up
with the social calendars and dramas of her teenage daughter and three stepchildren. What is the greatest kept secret to you in Charlotte? Karen has called Charlotte home since 1989 and Mara since 1993. As long-time residents, we think that many newcomers overlook the incredible networking opportunities that exist for Charlotte business women. Great organizations like Women With Know How help women connect quickly to other professionals. We’re thrilled how Sandbox Solutions has realized many new business opportunities through our involvement in networking organizations. We also know of several incredible bakeries that have to-die-for chocolate cupcakes and some great local parks that have sand, in either sandboxes or beaches! In being woman business owners, what have you found to be the biggest barrier? How have you overcome it? There have been some challenges in making inroads into the larger corporations, and finding the right decision makers at these larger companies. So instead of shrugging our shoulders, Sandbox Solutions has focused our attention and energy on connecting with small and mediumsized businesses that understand and value marketing.
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What is a ‘Woman With Know How to you? We think that a Woman With Know How is savvy, smart, positive and confident, and knows how to take her work seriously but not herself. She’s a giver, not a taker, and is good at balancing her professional and personal sides. She is an excellent communicator who helps others become the best they can be. She also knows how to serve take-out food so that it looks like she really cooked for hours. We love goals and forward thinking at Women With Know
How! What are your goals for the remainder of 2010? Our business goals are specific and easily measured, including building our client base, increasing revenue, and increasing brand awareness through a variety of innovative marketing programs. We strongly believe we have to talk the talk, walk the walk in order to model what we recommend to our clients. On the personal sides, Mara is getting close to her goal of putting her feet in the sand of every beach in the Caribbean, and Karen is focused on completing her book on online dating.
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Stay Trim with
Dairy
22 速
W
ith summer just around the corner, most people are beginning their annual quest to shape up. But trimming down for swimsuit season doesn't have to signal a departure from comfort food. You can have delicious meals and still eat better - just use foods that deliver nutrition and taste, like low-fat dairy. By incorporating low-fat dairy, not only do you help fulfill the recommended three daily servings of dairy, you cut calories without cutting flavor. Dairy can be used in various dishes or snacks; plus, new product lines, like Weight Watchers cheese, deliver options and great taste. Try these quick tips to create low-calorie versions of your favorite recipes or spice up your menu. Creamy Deviled Eggs - For an angelic take on the devilish appetizer, replace some of the egg yolks with a low-fat cream cheese, like Weight Watchers' new 8-ounce variety of reduced-fat cream cheese spread. It contains 40 percent less fat than regular cream cheese, and is perfect for cooking. It will also cut the amount of cholesterol and fat in your meal. The B(C)LT sandwich - Cut calories in the classic BLT sandwich by using low-fat cream cheese in place of mayonnaise. Orange Cream-Berry Cones - Summer wouldn't be summer without ice cream, but soft serve can derail the most well-intentioned eaters. For a lowfat interpretation of the summer classic, blend fat-free cottage cheese with low-fat cream cheese
and sugar; mix with fresh fruit and spoon into a waffle cone. Mediterranean Stuffed Tomatoes - For a taste of Tuscany, simply fill hollowed-out large tomatoes with a mix of ripe olives, yellow bell pepper, zucchini, green onions and a garlic-flavored cheese wedge. The new Weight Watchers Gourmet Cheese Wedges, for example, promote sensible portion control, pack 30 calories per wedge and come in four varieties. Swizz Melba Bagels - Try this convenient breakfast option that's perfect for the morning rush. Spread bagel halves with Weight Watchers Original Swiss flavored cheese wedges, then top with raspberry fruit spread and sliced fresh peaches. Parmesan Peppercorn Pear Salad - Introduce a little dairy into your salad routine with this unique dish. Stuff fresh pears with Weight Watchers Parmesan Peppercorn flavored cheese wedges and serve on a bed of mixed greens. Follow these tips to up your low-fat dairy intake. For more great recipes and products that will help you get in shape, visit http://track.familyfeatures. com/redirect/10118/weightwatchers.html. SOURCE: Weight Watchers
23 速
Personal Forecast
Marcie Williams-Browning
May is the Time for Pleasure
O
ver the coming year I will share with you areas of focus for each month. As you create your plan for success and work that plan, these suggestions will give you a clear focus for the month. Write down your goals, dreams and aspirations and look at them often. Writing them down brings them into the physical world and makes them tangible and FO N I E real. As you consider areas MOR pnosis Center lis Hy m a o s y .c r iz h B C to focus your attention this ySpirit 2 indBod www.M 803.493.033 month be sure to look at each area from your mental and emotional state, your physical well-being, your spiritual needs as well as your financial ones. The color for the month of May is pink and the theme is “I enjoy every experience.” It is the time to look to the future with positive thoughts and objective eyes. Some of the areas to 24 ®
consider are listed below. The best day in May to write down your desires and wishes is the 13th. This is the day of the new moon which is considered the magical day for wishes to be expressed. Money This is the time to positively concentrate on money. Capitalize on creative ways to obtain material comforts while honoring yourself and the environment. Be a “good steward” of the material things you possess. Honor that all things are energy, including our material possessions. Physical Senses May is all about exploring and reexploring sensuality. Discover tactile enjoyment in new and creative ways. This is a great month for massage and aromatherapy. It is also time to embrace physical comforts and
Write down your goals, dreams and aspirations and look at them often.
reacquaint yourself with tastes and smells. Enjoyment of Life Appreciation and gratitude are vital this month in everything that you do. Indulge in simple physical pleasures. Spend time in nature and place your entire attention on nature while you are enjoying it. Find and notice times of satisfaction and contentment. Build Establish solid foundations in which to build on for the remainder of the year. Persistence and perseverance will pay-off this month. This is the time to take a step-by-step approach to your progress. Being thorough will bring you success. Reliability As with any important project in our life, patience is required and so it will be this month. Being and attracting dependability will firmly root your solid foundation. Be trustworthy and steadfast as you build your foundation. Self-Worth It is important to recognize and
honor your personal needs. Along with fulfilling your needs you will need to set appropriate boundaries and honor them. Strong values and determination will see you through this month of building. Accept who, what and where you are at this moment as you build that strong foundation and boundaries for moving forward. Release Inflexibility This is the time to notice stubbornness, negative attachments, resistance to change, possessiveness, dogmatic opinions and stagnation so that you can release those limiting emotions in order to build on your foundation in months to come.
May affirmation: I embrace my life on earth as I build a strong foundation. As you create and work your plan this month take a look at yourself with objective eyes and include those areas where you need some work and celebrate the areas where you have done well. Life is a journey and one we are meant to learn and teach from. Every single experience we have we are learning through and teaching from. Learn well and live in joy! 25 速
Inner Creative
Cristina Cassidy, Cristina Cassidy Productions
When You Work for Yourself and You Don’t Like Your Boss! This Entrepreneur Had to Find Effective Ways to Work on Her Own For years I worked for someone else as a video producer in the Washington, D.C. area. I spent hours dreaming of the day when I could be "My Own Boss." I would fantasize about how different life was going to be when I was the one calling the shots. Three years ago, I did realize my dream of starting my own business when my husband retired from O the government and we INF MOREidy Productions moved to Charlotte. I a Cass ons.com Cristin roducti p y id s s couldn't wait to get my stinaca 503 www.cri 704.930.8 mac.com @ n e e u maq own company launched. docudra Now I could prove to the world what I was capable of. I was free to work alone and make all of my own business decisions. 26 Ž
The Good News and The Bad News I soon found out that going solo had its pluses and minuses. The good news was that I could make my own hours. The bad news was that those hours soon turned into a around-the-clock work schedule. Another plus was that I could be my own boss. The flip side, however, was that I was a particularly tough boss. I was less than kind to my new, "one" employee. I made her work long hours, was critical of her work, and never let her take a break. It's a pretty bad when you are self-employed, and you don't like your boss! My situation was made worse by the fact that I worked out of my own home. I was spending long hours by myself with only my two dogs to keep me company. It didn't take long for my enthusiasm to wane. I was getting jobs, but I wasn't enjoying my work
Time to Talk to My "Boss" Luckily, I have a low pain tolerance. By about the sixth month of working this way, I realized that I had to have a heart-to-heart with my "boss" and help her get some management skills.
1. I hired a life coach. This was perhaps the most positive thing I did to turn my situation around. I began working with Dawn Leitner (a member of Women With Know How) on ways to work more effectively by myself, and to bring in outside help in areas where I was weak. This lightened my load and also brought other people into my work life.
Here are five ways that I overcame some of the pitfalls of working alone so that I could begin reaping the rewards of being self-employed:
2. I attended networking events. I found http://www.meetup.com online and joined a local networking group. Even though I am outgoing, it wasn't
environment or the company I was keeping, mainly hanging out with me, myself and I.
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easy at first to walk into a room full of strangers. I was delighted to discover that many of the participants in the group were solo acts such as myself. I met a couple of women at that first meet up that are still my good friends today. The first group led to other groups, and now I make networking one of my major business activities. 3. I started using online social media sites. For someone who is alone all day and on the computer, Twitter and Facebook became important ways for me to interact with other like-minded people. My
28 速
initial reason for getting on those sites was to combat the loneliness of working by myself. The benefit has been the many personal and professional connections I've made as a result of "tweeting" and posting on "facebook" every day. After a year-and-a-half on Twitter, I have almost 1,000 followers. In addition, I have actually gotten work from the contacts I've made. 4. I get up and suit up every work day. My first rule of thumb in the morning is to make my bed. That way I can't crawl back into it if I'm feeling
particularly unmotivated. Next, I dress as if I am going to an office. When I first started working at home, I thought dressing any way I wanted was one of the bennies of being self-employed. Instead, I started acting more like a bag lady than a seasoned professional. There is something about dressing the part that helps me stay focused on my work. 5. I had to learn to set specific work hours. It took awhile for my "boss" to agree to this, but she soon realized that if she didn't start treating
me with respect, I wasn't going to make it on my own. Today, I set an eight-hour work schedule. I do work sometimes on weekends, but if I do, I make sure that I take time off during the week. My "boss" has noticed that I am a lot more productive when I work reasonable hours. Once I started doing some of the things mentioned above, I not only started being more productive, but I also started to like my "boss" a lot better. She still has a lot to learn, but she's getting there!
29 速
Get Your
Estate Plan Drafted
Protect Yourself and Your Family Today
30 速
I
magine your second husband whom you have no children with, passes away today. How will you
pay your bills and continue on? It may surprise you to learn that the law may not be in your favor if you and your husband did not have an estate plan at the time of his death.
A good estate plan should contain at a minimum the following documents: n Will n NC General Power of Attorney n NC Health Care Power of Attorney n Living Will (if it is not contained within the health care power of attorney) A will is usually a written legal document prepared for one person, called the testator/testatrix, which sets forth what is to happen after death to his or her property, called the estate, and who is to be named as guardian to care for any minor children. The will appoints a person called the personal representative (sometimes called the "executor"), who carries out the instructions in the will. A person receiving a gift from your estate is called a "beneficiary."
Every adult should have an up-to-date will. If you are married you and your spouse will each need a will. If you move from one state to another, it’s a good idea to get an attorney in the new state to review and/or draft a new will for you. If you die without leaving a valid will, money and other property you own at death will be divided and distributed according to "intestate succession" laws of North Carolina. These laws divide all property between a few close relatives according to a set formula, and exclude more distant relatives, friends and charities. These laws may not reflect your wishes. If you are married and have no children, North Carolina law requires your spouse to share your property with your parents. There is even less protection for 31 Ž
“
NC favors the children of the first marriage
�
over the second spouse if the second marriage produces no children.
unmarried couples and for subsequent spouses who have no children with their subsequent spouse.
Intestate succession laws do not deal with the question of who will take care of minor children if both parents die or if the surviving parent is unavailable, leaving it up to the courts and social service agencies to appoint a 32 ÂŽ
guardian. Even though the court has the ultimate authority to appoint a guardian, a will is the only way to let the court know who you want to raise and educate your children. In North Carolina, subsequent spouses who have no children with their subsequent spouse but there are children from prior marriage(s) are at
a disadvantage and should have an estate plan. In two situations the surviving spouse receives only one-half of the share he/she would have received if the decedent had died intestate. First, if the decedent died with no surviving children, no lineal descendants of deceased children, or no parents, the surviving spouse is limited to onehalf of the decedent’s net estate
NC favors the children of the first marriage over the second spouse if the second marriage produces no children. Please visit a properly qualified estate planning attorney to draw up your estate documents to protect you and your family today. About the Author:
Second, if the surviving subsequent spouse is a second or successive spouse and the decedent has children surviving from a prior marriage, and no children from his second or successive marriage, then the surviving spouse receives only one-half the amount she would have received under the Intestate Share statute.
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Marketing
Mary Elizabeth Murphy, Managing Director of S.T.A.R. Resources
Conflict Button
D
ear Mary Elizabeth, How do I RESET my Conflict Button? It seems that more and more I find myself in situations where conflicts arise. It could be at work, the dry cleaners or at home getting my children to complete their homework. How do I recognize that the button has been pushed before the eruption takes place? Sincerely, Challenged by Conflict Dear Challenged, INFO
MOREResources
. S.T.A.R 5.5610 704.53 sources.biz e rr info@sta
34 ®
You have asked two very good questions. We will address both separately. When a button initially gets pushed, several things
physically occur before you even realize that it’s happened. The hairs on your arms and the back of your neck stand up. Your shoulder and neck muscles tighten. Your heart rate speeds up, your breathing becomes more shallow. All of your “fight-orflight” reactions come into play. Conflict occurs when there is a clash of interests, values, beliefs, needs or actions. During a conflict the decision is made to fight the “eruption takes place.” Imagine your ability to keep your emotions internal as an inactive volcano. Imagine negative external stimuli as a catalyst that ignites activity or what she said or didn’t say or how he said it fuels the flames. The pressure below the mountain begins to build, the heat starts to rise, and before you know it, hot lava is blowing your top, causing untold damage to those around you.
So how do you RESET that button before the eruption occurs? You identified the first step – recognizing that the Conflict Button has been pushed. Notice the first warning signs. They are the physical reactions that I mentioned above. These reactions arise from your “fight-orflight” responses. You can tell you’re moving towards “fight” rather than “flight” when you are unable to let the confrontation go, when you are unable to focus on anything but this slight against you, and when you are unwilling to forgive the person or entity you see as the offending party, when you continue to focus on “how they made you feel, act, respond etc.”. You are no longer in control of your behavior because your thinking and feeling is all focused on “them”. What you need to do, right now, before another conflict occurs, is sit down and make a list of the ways you react to a conflict. How does your body react? What do you tend to say to people? Do you raise your voice or remove yourself from the room? Do you throw a tantrum or attack with facts? Next, consider what is driving the behavior. Is it fear of not accomplishing something? Do you feel ignored or disrespected? Are you not being appreciated or have you
been criticized? Now that you have recognized these behaviors and some of the possible motivators for that behavior, you can begin to discover how to modify them. What behaviors that you’ve listed do you want to modify, and which ones do you need to avoid
What you need to do, right now, before another conflict occurs, is sit down and make a list of the ways you react to a conflict.
altogether? Make a list of alternate reactions and behaviors so that the next time you are in a situation where conflict may arise, you can handle that confrontation in a positive and constructive manner. That may mean changing what you say and how you say it, or knowing when to walk away from a conflict. Modifying your behavior will go a long way towards helping resolve disagreements before they become conflicts, and even further towards completely avoiding that eruption all together. Joyfully yours, Mary Elizabeth
35 ®
Sizzling
Summer Salads Fresh From the Grill
36 速
Beef Fajita Salad with Mango-Serrano Vinaigrette Makes 4 servings 3 medium mangos, peeled, pitted and cheeks sliced off Olive oil 2 medium poblano peppers 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper 1 pound beef top sirloin steak, 1 inch thick 1 large red onion, cut into 1/2-inch slices 1 cup radishes, thinly sliced 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro Vinaigrette: 3 tablespoons lime juice 3 tablespoons water 1 to 2 serrano peppers 3 tablespoons olive oil
Brush mangos with oil. Place mango cheeks and poblanos on grill over medium, ash-covered coals. Grill poblanos, uncovered, 9 to 10 minutes (gas grill times remain the same) or until skins are blackened, turning occasionally. Grill mangos 8 to 14 minutes (gas grill times remain the same) or until very tender, turning occasionally. Seal peppers in food-safe bag and
A
sensational summer menu can be simple, yet satisfying; exotic, yet familiar. Instead of making salad a sleepy side item this summer, mix things up and add some sizzle to the table with a sumptuous entrée salad straight from the grill. Grilling adds intense flavor to summer’s freshest salad ingredients. Try choosing a selection of colorful fruits, flavorful meats, crisp vegetables, delicious seasonings and luscious marinades that pop. Two delectable choices that can make your grilled salads sing are beef and fresh mango. Beef is a traditional summer grilling
let stand for 15 minutes. Cool and cut mangos into 3/4-inch cubes and reserve. Press black pepper onto beef steak. Brush onion with oil. Place steak on grid; arrange onion around steak. Grill, uncovered, 17 to 21 minutes (over medium heat on preheated gas grill, covered, 13 to 16 minutes) or until steak is medium rare (145°F) to medium (160°F) doneness and onion is tender, turning occasionally. For vinaigrette, measure 1/2 cup cubed mango and combine with lime juice, water and serranos in food processor. Cover; process until smooth. With motor running, slowly add oil, processing until well blended. Season with salt, as desired. Discard skins, stems and seeds from poblanos; cut into 3/4-inch pieces. Carve steak into slices. Halve onion slices. Place beef, remaining mango, onion, poblanos and radishes on platter. Season with salt. Drizzle with vinaigrette; toss to coat. Sprinkle with cilantro. Courtesy of The Beef Checkoff and National Mango Board
favorite. In fact, according to a recent survey, conducted by Pelegrin Gray on behalf of the Beef Checkoff Program, 55 percent of Americans prefer to grill beef, such as a steak like filet, ribeye or T-bone, versus other meat. Also, mango is the world’s most popular fruit, and a yearround source of the naturally sweet, refreshing taste of the tropics. For recipes and instructions on how to select and cut a mango, visit mango.org. Visit BeefItsWhatsForDinner.com for beef grilling guidelines and additional recipes. 37 ®
Asian Beef and Wild Rice Salad Makes 4 servings 2 beef top loin (strip) steaks, 3/4 inch thick 2/3 cup light Asian-style dressing, divided 1 1/4 cups long-grain and wild rice blend 2 1/2 cups water 1medium red bell pepper, cut into 3/4-inch pieces 1 1/4 cups hothouse cucumber, cut into half-moon slices 1 1/4 cups frozen shelled edamame, thawed 1/4 cup sliced green onions, divided 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro
Place beef steaks and 1/3 cup dressing in food-safe plastic bag; coat evenly. Close bag and refrigerate 15 minutes to 2 hours. Cook rice in water according to package directions, omitting butter and salt, if desired. Cool in large bowl.
38 ÂŽ
Remove steaks from marinade; discard marinade. Place steaks on grid over medium, ash-covered coals. Grill, uncovered, 15 to 18 minutes (over medium heat on gas grill, covered, 11 to 15 minutes) for medium rare (145°F) to medium (160°F) doneness, turning occasionally. Add pepper, cucumber, edamame, 2 tablespoons green onion, cilantro and remaining dressing to rice; toss to combine. Season with salt. Carve steaks into slices. Place salad on plate. Arrange steak over salad; top with remaining green onion. Courtesy of The Beef Checkoff
Honey Grilled Fruit with Lime-Mint Vinaigrette Makes 8 servings Lime-Mint Vinaigrette: 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice 1 tablespoon olive oil 2 teaspoons honey 1teaspoon finely chopped fresh mint Honey Grilled Fruit: 1/4 cup honey 1tablespoon fresh lime juice 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon 3 large firm but ripe mangos, peeled, pitted and cut into large spears 1/2 fresh pineapple, peeled, cored and cut into spears 1 large peach, pitted and cut into 8 wedges 2 plums, pitted and quartered Mascarpone cheese
Whisk together vinaigrette ingredients in a small bowl; cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. Whisk together honey, lime juice and cinnamon. Grill all fruit over medium heat for a few minutes on each side or until grill marks appear, basting with honey mixture several times. Remove from grill and place in a large bowl; let cool and chop pineapple into large chunks. Place grilled fruit back into bowl, add vinaigrette and toss lightly to coat. Cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour, stirring several times. Transfer to salad bowls or plates and top each with a dollop of mascarpone cheese. Courtesy of National Mango Board
Simple Steak Grilling Tips n Use a medium heat setting on a gas or charcoal grill. For charcoal grills, carefully hold the palm of your hand at cooking height above the ash-covered coals. Count the number of seconds you can hold your hand in that position; approximately 4 seconds is medium heat. n Always use tongs to turn steaks. Using a fork will pierce the beef, allowing flavorful juices to escape. n For best results, cook steaks to medium rare (145°F) or medium (160°F) doneness. The most accurate way to determine temperature is with an instant-read thermometer. Make the Most of Mangos n Mangos contain more than 20 different vitamins and minerals, are an excellent source of vitamins C and A and a good source of dietary fiber. n Color is not the best indicator of ripeness. Simply squeeze the mango gently to determine ripeness level. A ripe mango should give slightly, but not be too soft. n To ripen mangos, store at room temperature. Once ripe, store mangos in the refrigerator for up to five days. 39 Ž
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Currents PRIDE May-June 2009
Sheri Lynch
Bob & Sheri co-host and best-selling author of “Hello, My Name is Mommy” Stacey Simms is the award-winning
with Al Gardner and Stacey Simms and Health Headlines: The Show, both heard on NewsTalk 1110 WBT. Stacey started
anchor and reporter, first in upstate New York, then in Charlotte at CBS affiliate WBTV. She’s a graduate of Syracuse University’s Newhouse School of Public Communications. Stacey lives in Davidson, NC with her family. She tries not to set off the smoke detectors too often.
About the Author
Kroghie Andresen has enjoyed hunting “Having worked with her on the anchor desk, I always knew Stacey could deliver the and the outdoors since his early teens in news. Now she’s delivered a wonderful book of recipes. This book will not only make eastern North Carolina. His waterfowl yourexperiences stomachbegan happy; it’ll he help hunting when shotyour heart, since all the profits go to help the millions of two lesser scaupjuvenile from a stake blind in the kids with diabetes.” mouth of Bath Creek at the age of fifteen. sinceJeff thenGlor his passion for hunting has The Show National Correspondent, CBS News grown andEarly flourished.
I Can’t
Cook,
a collection of essays, recipes and culinary tips. It’s a tell-all collaboration between twenty-five
poured down the drain. Her stories are as honest
Daniel Stowe in Full Bloom
as they are humorous. But Stacey isn’t ready to hang up her oven mitts just yet.
2010 PRODUCT CATALOG
in town to share their favorite recipes for this book. Many of the featured chefs have generously
cooks like Stacey. Recipes range from Albóndigas, Bruschetta,
Great Winter Parties
and Cucumber Soup … to White Chocolate Lamb. Some of the recipes are easy, others more complicated, but all of them yield delicious results.
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This book also has another purpose—to raise awareness and funds to help in the fight against type 1 (juvenile) diabetes. Stacey’s son has type 1, and by purchasing this book you are helping Research Foundation of Charlotte.
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Good food, good stories, good cause.
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to support the work of the Juvenile Diabetes
Bon Appétit!
For founder of real estate firm, priorities are about more than finances
Mooresville’s Artistic Side
offered practical advice, along with their recipes, to help both serious foodies and hopeless home
Bread Pudding, Yam Soufflé, and New Zealand
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Reading, writing and diversity at Trinity Episcopal School
frozen holiday turkey, the emergency visit from the local fire department, and the just-cooked soup
She has somehow convinced the best restaurants
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CATALOGS
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Self-taught topiary artist’s yard is a cut above
George Winston Welcomes Spring in Davidson
Entertainment Tips from Area Event Planning Professionals
Man on a
VOL. 2 NUMBER
MARCH 2009
mission
Richard ‘Stick’ Williams, who’ll be the YMCA’s first black chairperson in 2010, makes community involvement his business
Inside... The Best School in Ballantyne? | Dana Rader Interview | Restaurants and Shopping BallantyneMagazine.com
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your vision... SPARK Publications serves as your own personal consultant and creative department to put your published dream into the hands of your future clients. Imagine your own book published...and you maintain all the rights and all the profits. Picture your
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Concrete2Green revitalizes communities, spreads love of soccer
of Charlotte’s greatest chefs and one of our city’s worst cooks.
News on NewsTalk 1110 WBT, discloses the dark
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SELF-PUBLISHED BOOKS
this isn’t your typical cookbook. I Can’t Cook, But I Know Someone Who Can is
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But I Know Someone Who Can
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Charlotte’s African-American Magazine
Stacey Simms, co-host of Charlotte’s Morning
& Recipes Advice From s Charlotte’ Top Chefs
Stacey SimmS
Kroghie worked as a banker for First union National Bank, now Wachovia, for thirty“This threeis years before retiring inI’ve 2004. the first cookbook seen in all my years of reading them like novels (and Though his work had no connection with writing a few myself) that is for everybody, Stacey delivers a delightful, entertaining, hunting, he continued to pursue his hobby and useful recipes during spare timerepertoire away from of work. Whilein the same wonderful manner she gives us ‘news livingwe in can raleigh ineach 1979, morning.” his wife ross, use’ bought him his first decoy to decorate Barbara McKay their new den. This started a collection Media Personality that has grown into over 1,100 North Carolina decoys. An early decision to limit his collection to Back Bay, Virginia, “Stacey has been a long and North Carolina decoys led to time a veryadvocate for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. specialized Kroghie tried Whencollection. her two year old always son was diagnosed, she immediately went from advocate to fully to document the history and provenance of committed volunteer. She is not willing to accept that her son and millions of others may his decoys. The lack of information on many have to live the rest of their lives with diabetes. Thank you, Stacey for all that you do to North Carolina decoys led him to research manyhelp previously carvers asthe welllives of so many.” find aunidentified cure and improve as those that are well known. This research Patrick and thirty yearsMcFeeley of collecting decoys have JDRF International Board Member culminated with this book. Kroghie received a B.s. degree in Civil Engineering from The Citadel in 1966 and an MBA from East Carolina university in 1971. He and his wife currently reside in Charlotte, N.C. They have two grown children, Clark and Hailey.
Charlotte, NC Winter 2009-10
2010 PRODUCT CATALOG
her broadcasting career as a TV news
But I Know Someone Who Can
Featuring The Collection of Kroghie Andresen
GuNNIN’ BIrDs
co-host of Charlotte’s Morning News
I Can’t Cook,
– even dazzling – meals made by you – yes, you! Plus, the fire department has had to visit Stacey’s kitchen, which is bound to make you feel so much better about your own culinary skills. A Maggie, fun, helpful, yummy read! Kroghie, with after aand successful duck hunt at Lake Mattamuskeet, N.C. in 2004.
Stacey SimmS
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