Building Healthy Relationships Starting with Self

Yamika Leeper-Stephens Lifestyle Fitness Coach YLS Fitness & Exercise Coaching LLC

When a woman values her self-worth she gives an eternity of life to her future generations. She is the foundation, the source, the key to how we see ourselves. Everyone who follows her will help nurture or destroy what she has given good or bad, positive or negative. Woman is the beginning of all relationships. It is important for a woman to know and love who she is.

Building healthy relationships can be a challenge if you allow them to. Healthy relationships start with self. You do not accept toxic and unhealthy relationships when you have a healthy relationship with yourself. People who have healthy relationships with themselves are usually in healthy relationships with others. How you feel about yourself determines how others can and will feel about you. It’s simple, you receive what you give. People treat you how you treat yourself. For the new year let’s focus on building a healthy relationship starting with self, no regrets and no apologies.

Here are a few tips I practice daily to maintain a healthy relationship with self and others:

Schedule Self-Care:

Too often we neglect and overlook ourselves for others, resulting in so many emotions that leave us with feelings of depletion. I challenge you to take some time for yourself daily. Yes, I said daily. This is part of selfcare. This can include working out, relaxing, meditation, quiet time alone, writing, a long bath, manicure and pedicure. You determine what that is in the moment. Selfcare is a necessity for ourselves, it allows us to refuel when feelings of depletion arise. When doing this daily you never run on the half full half empty feeling. Most importantly, you never allow your energy to be fully drained. Your cup is always full. You will have the ability to manage healthy relationships with your loved ones and people you communicate with on a regular and daily basis. Selfcare is simply a way to sustain healthy relationships.

Set Boundaries and Prioritize Self:

Do away with the long to do list, set boundaries and prioritize YOU! We are so accustomed to our to do list that we forget about what’s most important. If you say you are important and you are at the bottom of your to do list, how often do you get to focus on you? You are essentially telling yourself it’s okay to be neglected. Self-neglect will lead you to exhaustion and feelings of depletion. You cannot live on emptiness nor sustain a healthy relationship depleted. Other people see the value of you by your own standards. How you operate and function in your own relationship with self is key to all relationships. Setting boundaries allows you to prioritize you by putting you at the top of your long list. Setting boundaries also allows you not to set unrealistic expectations of others. Challenge yourself by putting you first, you are most important.

Practice Self-value and Worth:

I woke up one morning bold, confident and pleased with the woman I saw and became. I walked passed the mirror and saw me and immediately fell in love with the woman I am becoming. Your self-value and worth eliminates confidence the best outfit you could ever where. The amount of love you pour into yourself is literally the amount of love you receive in relationships. Accept only what you give and accept nothing less than what you value. Know your worth.

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Empowerment if defined by Merriam is to give power or authority to by legal or official means. It is the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights but how can you control and claim what you don't know you possess?

Empowerment, therefore is the process of developing people to believe, see, and walk in what you stirred and pulled out. It (empowerment) is the development of personal power or strength, the ability to take action, or improved interaction skills socially, physically, and mentally.” www.KhalilahOlokunola.com

Although Khalilah Olokunola, of Brooklyn, New York, is college educated she was not born with a silver spoon she worked for it. Despite growing up in an upper middle class home, life happened and she lost her name in lieu of a number, but she remained adamant on education and spent many days and nights dreaming about the American Dream she saw on TV or read about in books. This dream wasn't about picket fences but making IMPACT!

Today Khalilah is happily married toAl with four wonderful children. She is also the managing partner of CatalcorE, a Personal & Professional Development Firm, that works with women, faith based organizations, and diverse start-up teams. She holds more than 10 years of experience in business development, event /set production, qualitative & quantitative methods for individual & organizational development, and strategy & effective growth. She has a proven track record in connecting brands to their base while connecting them to who they are. She was instrumental & led fast track marketing campaigns connecting Fortune 500 companies & venture capital firms to C Suite Executives. Khalilah is known for igniting fires by getting to the core to catalyze who you are & what you are called to do during speaking engagements, workshop's , classes, and Core Experiences that challenge the individual or team to move out of their comfort zone. She is the author of Be Brave & Brave Vision, two interactive workbooks & journals of intentional lessons of leadership for women who aspire to lead. Each workbook has scripture reference and can be found in the Christian Life section of Barnes and Nobles.

Khalilah has been nominated for a Women of Achievement Award by the YWCA & as a Woman to Watch by WILMA Magazine . When she is not developing the next leader she is speaking at both business & ministry conferences.She is available to help you get to the core of who you are and what you do .