3 minute read
Four Truths - A Moment of Inspiration - by a special needs mom
By Carla Miller
For over a decade now, I’ve belonged to and been inspired by the amazing group of women who are fellow moms of children with special needs. This article incorporates bits of wisdom I’ve gleaned from this dynamic sisterhood as well as the insight that life and God have given me along my own journey. This month’s magazine will feature the first four truths and next month’s article will feature the remaining points.
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1) You are not alone.
There are so many times when it seems like nobody gets your journey. It’s easy to feel like nobody else will understand the numerous doctor’s appointments, the special diets, the medicines, the IEP meetings, the social cuing, the therapy sessions, the stress of school, the sibling comparisons, the meltdowns, the medical devices, the family dynamic challenges, the expenses, the daily decisions you make, and the never-ending stress you face. It can seem like no other family faces the financial costs, the emotional burden, or the hours and hours of time needed to parent and raise a child with special needs. BUT, there are thousands of other parents out there in the trenches of special needs, too. And they, like you, also are striving and giving their all to do the very best for their unique child. And when you meet, you will immediately connect. You will connect because they “get it,” and as a result, they get you. And they will be a great resource and source of encouragement in your journey with special needs. Please remember, You are NOT alone.
2) There will be triggers; that is normal.
For some, it’s a report card filled with failing grades. For others, it’s a birthday party where nobody invited came. And still, for others, it is yet another loud meltdown in a public place. There will be certain situations that are triggers for you as a mother of a child with special needs. And when these trigger scenarios happen, they flood your heart with sadness, frustration, and despair. They remind you, yet again, that your journey in motherhood is different. And you may react to these triggers with tears, withdrawing, or maybe lashing out in anger. Nearly all moms of kids with special needs have triggers. Triggers are very normal. But over time, and with strategies, the grip and power of these triggers can lessen, fade, and even disappear.
3) There IS such a thing as a mother’s intuition.
Society uses the phrase “mother’s intuition” often. But, a mother of a child with special needs understands this statement on an entirely different level. Often the first to recognize that something “isn’t right,” that a particular medicine is causing issues, or that further testing needs to be done, is the child’s mother. Moms of kids with special needs have an extraordinary knack of knowing when something is going on with their particular child. Many times, this is before it can be detected, suspected, or diagnosed by traditional medicine. Trust your gut!
4) Sometimes it is necessary to fight.
One of the biggest roles of a mother of a child with special needs is advocacy. Whether questioning a diagnosis, seeking a second opinion, challenging a school policy, fighting an insurance denial, or championing a change in legislation, using your skills and energy to promote the best health, opportunity, and environment for your child is necessary at times. It can also be draining. At times it may be exhausting. And, for some, it is also way out of your comfort zone. However, equipping your child with all they need to be successful is very much worth it.
For those traveling a similar mothering road, my prayer is that these truths may resonate and encourage you. You are NOT alone. For those who are friends, family members, co-workers, peers, and neighbors to these women, may this provide further insight into the hearts and lives of these special and incredible moms.
