Meet the Marth Family: Ben, Robin and Clayton

What are your family members’ names and children’s ages? Where do your children go to school, and does/do your special needs child/children attend school and/ or receive other educational/ behavioral services? If you have a special needs adult living at home, are they employed or attending a special services program? Robin and I have been married since 2011; we have one son, Clayton Marth, who will be 9 this July. Clayton attends full-time ABA, speech, and occupational therapies at BACA in Fishers, IN.

Do you have pets or service animals? Tell us a little about them. We have one dog (Moolah) and two cats (Elsa Von Thunderpaws and Maddox). Moolah is a black lab/retriever mix; she is 7 years old.

Where are you and your family originally from? Ben is originally from Green Bay, WI, and Robin is originally from Sandy, Utah.

Where do you live in Indiana? How long have you lived here? What brought you to Indiana? As a family, we have lived in Fishers since 2011. Robin has lived in Fishers since 1994. Her family moved here after her father took on a new position with a large corporation headquartered in Indianapolis. Ben originally moved to Bloomington, IN, in 1999 as part of a job promotion. Since then, he’s lived in Texas and New York before settling back in Fishers.

What have been some of the challenges you/your family have experienced, how have you overcome some of these struggles? The initial diagnosis of Clayton’s autism was devastating to us as parents. There were countless hours of tears, anger, guilt, and frustration between us. The unknown of what we were to expect was probably the hardest part. Clayton is non-verbal and has unique challenges, some he has conquered and others he continues to work on. His therapies are covered under insurance; however, maintaining that coverage is becoming more challenging as Clayton gets older. Clayton struggles to interact with other children, and as such, he doesn’t have any friends. Clayton is challenged with undesirable behaviors at times but is mostly a very happy, funny boy. As parents, we find solace in the fact that “Clayton will be Clayton,” and that’s okay.

Any advice you have for others who are experiencing similar situations and challenges? The best advice for parents with a child with autism would be to know that you are not alone. There are great people and programs that will help you. Ben is involved in Empact Parenting as a parent facilitator. It is an amazing program to help you hone your skills as a parent of a child with unique challenges. Robin went through the Indiana Partners in Policymaking advocacy program through the Indiana Governor’s Council for People with Disabilities. There, she learned how to advocate for not only her child but anyone with disabilities living in the state.

What are some happy memories that really stay with you? Were there milestones or accomplishments you/your child hit that you never thought would be possible? Our son amazes us daily; his skills and abilities grow constantly. A major milestone that we can recall was when Clayton became potty trained; we didn’t think that it was possible due to his general lack of communication, but he is 100% potty trained. Currently, Clayton is involved in a special needs ice hockey league in Westfield. He is doing a great job learning to tolerate wearing a helmet and ice skates and is starting to get out on the ice with his coach. These are things that we never expected him to be able to do, but slowly, he is.

What college/university did you/your spouse attend? How has school been challenging? What did you do in school to overcome some of these challenges? Ben attended college courses in criminal justice at the University of Wisconsin Green Bay; Robin graduated from IUPUI with a Bachelor of Science in Environmental Science. As mentioned, Clayton attends ABA full-time; he’s never been part of the public school system. We don’t know what we don’t know with regards to his education path, but we always remain hopeful.

What are your profession(s), and where do you work? Ben is a district manager for a private security firm; Robin works remotely as an editor for a safety and compliance company.

If you have children or a special needs adult still at home, with what activities are they involved? Clayton is our only child. He is currently involved with the Indy Twisters Special Hockey team. Everything we do seems to revolve around Clayton, and that’s okay! We like to get outside when the weather allows. He enjoys going to the local parks, and we enjoy walking around the Indiana state parks as well.

Do you have any family traditions? We eat dinner together most evenings. Clayton excels with routine, so we try to maintain rigid routines within our home as it pertains to him. We celebrate birthdays and major holidays with family, as this allows Clayton the ability to interact with his cousins and extended family.

Activities/Hobbies: Weather permitting, we really enjoy being outside going on walks. We enjoy visiting state parks. We enjoy spending time in our yard hosting BBQs for friends and family. Clayton loves to go swimming when the weather is warmer.

Restaurants and Food Markets: Since Clayton’s diagnosis, we have chosen to adapt his diet to be gluten/ dairy/soy/sugar-free. We try to limit his exposure to environmental toxins by ensuring that he only eats organic fruits and veggies, and local/grass fed meat whenever possible (and as our budget allows!). This has hampered our ability to go out to eat as a family but has strengthened our ability to cook nutritious food at home. We hope to start going out more often, especially now that COVID appears to be behind us. Clayton’s diagnosis does not influence our choices on where we go. He has just as much right as any other child to be out in public and experiencing life.

Park/Play area/Hang out: What are some of the experiences you enjoy doing the most with your family/child? What can be challenging when going places? Clayton enjoys swings and slides at the parks in our area; however, his social challenges hinder him from playing with other children. He enjoys watching other children play. It is a difficult part of being a special needs parent when other children want to play with your kiddo, but your child doesn’t have the skills or abilities to reciprocate play. We tend to go when the parks aren’t very busy for this reason.

Vacation destination: We’ve had great vacations at Brown County State Park, visiting family in Wisconsin and going to the beach on Hilton Head Island. Our biggest challenge is keeping Clayton entertained on long car rides and meeting his dietary needs. In that respect, we ensure we always travel with supports that will make the experience favorable to him, with extra snacks, books, toys, and movies downloaded on his tablet.

Sports teams: We are die-hard Green Bay Packer fans (the Colts are okay, too). We’ve been to a few Indians games as a family too. Sitting on the lawn is the best option for Clayton and the most fun!

Music: Ben is a fan of punk rock, classic rock, and rockabilly. Robin enjoys almost everything Ben likes but also enjoys country and classical music. Clayton enjoys the theme songs to his favorite Disney movies.

TV show/Movie: Ben and Robin enjoy all types of films; Clayton enjoys Disney movies but usually only certain scenes that he will watch repeatedly.

Family dinner: Dinner is usually a protein and a vegetable, which doesn’t sound too exciting, but Robin does a great job with cooking. We have been very fortunate with Clayton in that he does not follow the standard American kid diet of French fries and chicken nuggets. He loves kombucha, sauerkraut, steak, broccoli, shrimp, peppers, celery, grapes, salmon, etc. Robin is a master of sneaking vegetable powders into anything Clayton eats and has even been known to put veggie powders on top of Clayton’s veggies!

What do you like to do to relax? In the summer, we spend many hours on our back deck enjoying the sunshine. In the winter, we spend time in our infrared sauna, which is nice and warm and has added health benefits for all of us (especially Clayton).

How are you involved in the community?

Ben is a parent facilitator for Empact Parenting, a tremendous program geared at assisting parents of special needs children in improving their parenting skills. Ben attended the program and now facilitates the autism program, along with a clinician. Robin continually advocates for our son as a result of the training she received through the Indiana Governor’s Council for People with Disabilities Partners in Policymaking program.

Tell us about some companies and resources that have helped you and your family navigate through the world of special needs? When Clayton was first diagnosed, we were connected to an organization called About Special Kids (ASK). A very kind woman named Lisa K. helped us navigate through his diagnosis. We eventually connected with First Steps and started that program until Clayton aged out when he turned 3 years old. Since then, we have been with BACA, where Clayton receives ABA therapy. We have also worked hard to secure the financial future of Clayton (when we are no longer on this Earth) through the help of Gordon Homes and his financial planning firm. Attorney Liz Homes and her legal assistance with establishing a special needs trust.

Is there something you are looking for that may help you/your special needs child? We are always looking out for recreational activities that Clayton may enjoy. Like most children, he enjoys too much screen time, so we are constantly on the hunt for other activities.

What else should we know about you, your family, and/or your business? The number one thing we have learned on our journey as Clayton’s parents is that as his parents, it is our job to advocate for him, whether at his ABA center, in public, or around family and friends. An autism diagnosis will be unique for every child and every parent, but your kiddo desires the same things as any typical child, a feeling of love and belonging.

We are a stronger family because of Clayton. That’s not to say anything with his diagnosis has been easy, but we have learned how to adapt and overcome. Our child continues to surprise us every day, and we remain cautiously optimistic about the future.

What would you tell someone who just moved to your community? Don’t shelter your child too much. Be involved. Meet your neighbors. Let your child experience the community in which they live. Fishers has a lot to offer. It also has room to grow and adapt to our children’s needs.