SIBLINGS PERSPECTIVE

BY: Erin Boaz

My name is Paige Boaz, I am 18 years old and the middle child sandwiched between my two brothers. My oldest brother, Tyler Boaz, who has special needs, is 20 years old. What makes our journey unique is that we have been going to the same high school together for the last 3 years. We are both Seniors at Fishers High school and on track to graduate in May 2021. We also have a younger brother, Gabe, who is a 6th grader at Fall Creek Intermediate.

Tyler was diagnosed with Autism and speech delay at the age of five. Witnessing how he has been treated differently and unjustly has changed my perspective on how to be more kind, compassionate, and patient with others. I have experienced too many people being judgmental exclusively towards my brother and I quickly learned that I wanted to be the one person in his life that would always be there to support him. No one deserves to be treated any less for who they are. This has motivated me to become more involved in the community to be an advocate and friend to those with special needs. I have volunteered in the Best Buddies program since freshman year in high school and also serve Sundays in the Special Needs room at church to give parents an opportunity to go to service while creating a fun and safe space for their child. Since Tyler has been a big part of my life for the last 18 years, I have been able to see life through a different perspective due to his different challenges. I have witnessed him overcome many obstacles, and more importantly, I realized that he is capable of much more than I could imagine. If I were to give advice to others that have encounters with kids with special needs is to first, be patient. Just as important, I would encourage you to help them in the areas where they struggle and always be the one person that believes in them; specifically take time to recognize their strengths and help them find ways to use those strengths to their advantage. Most importantly, be their biggest fan and lift them up, especially when things are difficult and challenging.

One of my favorite memories with Tyler is when we go bowling together. As much as he tries to aim the bowling ball down the middle, it tends to land in the gutter. What amazes me is how it doesn’t bring him down. He is such a good sport. You should see him when he knocks down all the pins! He gets so excited, claps his hands and jumps up and down with the biggest smile on his face. A more recent memory and a way that I enjoy spending time with Tyler is when we are in the car together as I take him to and from work. He always asks how my day is going and shares interesting and funny stories from his long shift at work. I treasure these memories because his stories are told with passion and detail. It has been a great way to bond and grow closer. An inside family joke is how knowing that when my friends come over, no matter how many times he has met them, he will likely get their name wrong. No one is ever offended and we just laugh every time it happens.

I know we all have challenges in life. The one challenge I experience with Tyler is that he often misinterprets what is being said. It can be frustrating because it creates miscommunication. The best way I know how to overcome it is remembering that we all have strengths and weaknesses. Instead of being upset about the situation, I make an effort to talk to him to pinpoint where there was a breakdown in communication. Tyler’s drive to become independent is admirable, but can come with a set of challenges as well. He has set goals to go to college, live independently, have a career, and get married one day.

Sometimes that drive to be independent can bring out a quality of stubbornness which can be challenging for him to open his mind to hear my side of the story. I try to lead by example by patiently hearing him out because I have learned that his stubbornness One of my favorite activities with Tyler is playing video games. The best part is when we get to work together and cheer each other on, with a goal to beat the other team. We like to get Dunkin’ Donuts together, just the two of us.

One of the things I really admire about Tyler is his passion for movies. He puts in endless hours researching all types of newly released movies, the backstory of why the story was created, how popular it was amongst certain age groups and how much money it grossed. He follows a couple of YouTubers to gain more insight on how to create his own YouTube channel. I am so proud that Tyler started his own YouTube channel where his focus is on sharing a variety of information about the movie to include the history, fun facts, and of course his opinion. Another quality I really admire about Tyler is his work ethic. He puts in 100% at everything he does, especially when it comes to school and his job. He motivates me to put forth the same level of effort he does. But the one thing that I love about Tyler the most is his huge heart. He is one of the most selfless people I know. He genuinely cares for other people’s feelings and I strive daily to be more like him in that way.

Do you have a sibling with special needs and would like to share your story & perspective in an upcoming issue of Special Needs Living? Email us at SpecialNeedsLivingIndy@n2pub.com