7 minute read
Featured Family: Meet the Kocsis Family
JERRY, JUDY, SHANNON, ANDREW, JONATHAN AND KATEY
KENDRA ROGERS, MS-EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
We have four kids Andrew, an RN is 42, Jonathan, an HVAC technician is 40, Katherine, a government employee is 37 and Shannon, our special needs child who is 35. Shannon lives in a home now where she receives consistent, experienced care for all her needs. Judy and Jerry are in a senior community where Shannon visits often. We have a wonderful rat terrier mix dog named Harry whom Shannon also loves. We are now in the Royal Oak area but come from Detroit and New Jersey originally. I also spent time in Warren. I am a graduate of Wayne State University with a B.A. in Sociology and work in sales and marketing. Judy spent time as a nurse. Shannon attended local schools until she aged out at 26, then went on to other specialized care and education. I love Trader Joes Market and we love the local Italian restaurants. Pasta is the favorite family meal and Shannon’s favorite is macaroni and cheese! Throughout our time raising children, we have experienced many ups and downs. The biggest struggles have been working through the state and federal support systems for special needs individuals. There were many health struggles initially, but as of now, they are in hand. Shannon overcame future predictions medical staff had for her life. Hydrocephaly (excess fluid on her brain) was a significant challenge. Multiple surgeries and doctors were able to digitally render Shannon’s brain to protect her from additional revisions. Seizures caused loss of left side use and therapies helped her regain some movement. Access to doctors and surgeries is the reason Shannon is still with us. Challenges with other children in the midst of medical challenges with Shannon added complications to our lives but the joy they bring and the bonds with teachers and interventionists make our lives fuller. Even though we struggled with finding doctors who would care for Shannon and better her life, the access we had is what saved her. We adopted Shannon when she was five months old and knew at the time that life would not be simple. Judy, who worked as a nurse, knew there was something wrong with Shannon and fought to ensure she had every opportunity in life.
One of the biggest helps to us was the support we gleaned from our community and organizations that aim to help special needs families. ARC is one such organization that helps with all the legal considerations that may arise from parenting special needs children. Consider joining ARC (https/ www.thearcoakland.org/ ) or a similar organization for help and guidance with legal issues like guardianship and bureaucratic roadblocks to success, along with help in locating outside placements if needed. Connect with therapists and teachers. These relationships can last a lifetime. While life with special needs children is challenging, the bright spots bring us joy. Shannon has always brought joy to holidays and birthdays. She is the kindest and most social person you would want to meet. We currently live with senior citizens, and she has provided them with unending happiness with her weekend visits. Shannon is a joyful person who spreads joy to everyone around her! Shannon’s weekend visits are our most treasured tradition.
I write a blog almost every day as a chronicle of my experiences, opinions, and observations of my world. https/ kocsisretires2022.blogspot.com/
We also love to spend time together taking walks and being outside with Shannon and our grandchildren. Traverse City is a favorite destination and anywhere with suitable accessibility for a wheelchair. We love listening to Jazz, Steely Dan, David Crosby, and the Beatles together. Sometimes, we watch The Bear, Someone Feed Phil, the Rocky and Godfather movies, and The Big Night together, too. During the day, we are blessed to help out at our grandchildren’s schools, too, to be involved in their education and lives.
Some of the most important resources we had access to were ARC of Oakland County and New Gateways. The ARC has been the most help and support to our family. The relationships we built with Shannon’s interventionists and teachers have been our lifeline. New Gateways (https/newgateways.net/) was a helpful and needed resource when Shannon aged out of the school system assistance. Respite care through Lahser House (https/www. judsoncenter.org/blog/uncategorized/ lahser-respite-home-for-children/?gc
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hfGtL3bAaAk11EALw_wcB) was another necessary resource. We were confident Shannon was safe and happy with experienced caregivers so we could take a break from the constant parenting. Even though we love Shannon very much and she brings us joy daily, we knew we needed a few hours a month for both her and us to be apart. The relationships she built through Lahser respite have been wonderful, too. Despite the wonderful resources we have had access to, affordable dental care is still missing.
Jerry’s advice to new parents “starting out on this journey is to meet people and connect through conversation, phone conversations, and networking. Share the info you have and reach out when you are stuck or troubled. Building a plan for our daughter for if something were to happen to us suddenly. We needed to ensure that she had the right care in case something happened. Every day is different, and life has many ups and downs. Through all those experiences, we had to remember we are human, and we need connection and support. Even though Shannon did very well and developed typically until about five years of age, she began to decline after that. We were unsure of the future and had to adjust our expectations for her life and ours. She beat the odds, though, and has become a loving, joyful, currently healthy adult. She is wheelchair bound and living with deficits due to the surgeries and traumas of her youth, but she is one of the most joyful people you could hope to meet.”
Shannon has always brought joy to holidays and birthdays. She is the kindest and most social person you would want to meet.
We are all different, but we find commonality between each. Our joined history gives us strength. Sharing all the parts of our story, no matter how hard, helps others experiencing difficulty with their children. Our hope is that the community continues to grow and share stories to support one another. We are happy and healthy and hope to bring that to others!
