Meet the Meaders/Miles Family

Story and photos by Kendra Rogers

New parents expectantly await their precious child's arrival, expecting everything to be “normal”. Terrencia and George were no different when they were waiting for their first child. As young parents, they faced more judgment and fewer opportunities than others, but that didn’t stop them from working hard to give their child the best possible future.

When Ma’Layah was born in November of 2019, she was lovingly welcomed by her parents, but their world was turned upside-down just 12 hours after her arrival. When their newborn wasn’t breathing right, the new parents notified hospital staff and learned their daughter was experiencing seizures.

After a month in the hospital and going home with diagnoses of epilepsy, cerebral palsy, and autism, Ma’Layah and her parents face challenges with her care and well-being every day.

But Terrencia and George strive to create a happy home for their children. Ge’Nyla joined their family in 2021, bringing more joy with her. Though Ge’Nyla is a typically developing toddler without the list of diagnoses and doctor visits her older sister has, caring for two young children alone has been tough. Terrencia shared that she has handled the daily care and appointments for the children while George works hard to support the family financially. Doctor and therapy bills are constant stressors, but the financial burden is not the only one. Caring for a child with special needs is emotionally draining. Coordinating care, carrying two children into appointments, and feeling judgment from others are heavy emotional burdens, too.

Terrencia shared that watching other kids experience freedom and joy that her daughter can’t is difficult. But, instead of dwelling in the can’ts, Terrencia decided to find things Ma’Layah CAN do. Though Terrencia works hard to ensure she has plenty of opportunities, socialization is still hard because of Ma’Layah’s behaviors. She cannot be left unattended and every playdate or activity requires direct supervision and support from a parent, which is also draining.

Terrencia and George have persevered through significant hardships from financial concerns, emotional struggles, and the anger and hurt of watching their child struggle. But though the journey has just started, as Ma’Layah is only 5, they know that their early hurdles have strengthened their bond and they can continue to work through the challenges.

Terrencia advised others to “never stop fighting for your child. There are services out there, but you have to fight for your child to get them”. She also shared that self-care and relationship maintenance are crucial to surviving the days and years caring for a child with special needs. Ma’Layah receives ABA services with Centria Autism for now as she is too young for other options. Terrencia recommends Autism in the D because of their attention to their clients and how they integrate opportunities. Community Living Management is another space that helps ensure Ma’Layah’s needs are met. Ma’Layah is sensitive to loud noises, so public spaces are usually difficult for her. Terrencia is still searching for places where Ma’Layah is happy and comfortable while also feeling welcomed, and where there are others like her.

Terrencia remembers that the doctors didn’t give Ma’Layah much of a chance at survival or gaining skills like crawling or walking, so at each birthday, Terrencia rejoices that they have had another year with Ma’Layah. She also shares that Ma’Layah has beaten the odds in more ways than one, including that she learned to crawl AND walk. She also uses a straw now and is beginning to feed herself sometimes. While independent movement and feeding are huge celebrations, an even bigger one is seeing Ma’Layah and Ge’Nyla interact and play together. “There is just nothing like seeing your kids interact with each other and learn to play together,” Terrencia said. “This is even sweeter when you didn’t think it was possible.”

“Over the years, I learned you are your child’s voice,” she added. “You have to speak up and fight for the help your child needs. I learned not to be embarrassed or ashamed. [Ma’Layah] taught me unconditional love. She taught me that no matter what you’re George shared, “Dealing with a child with autism is not easy but not the end. It’s like learning how to walk--just trying to find a balance and keep one foot in front of the other. Patience is the key, but it’s not something everyone will understand. Once you find the understanding and balance in life, things will open up. Remember, you aren’t meant to do this alone, and you need a team that’s going to have you when you need it most. Talk to someone and pray. This is just like any other mission in your life. Don’t let anyone make you feel left behind or alone because things not going the way you would like. This parenting journey is not as easy as it is for others but find joy in your journey. For me, talking to a therapist helped things open up.”

To follow more of the family’s story, @Dagirls.muva on Instagram.