LEANING ON THE SPIRIT - JUD WILHITE

jud wilhite

leaning on the spirit

A lack of understanding and relying on God’s Spirit is one of the regrets of my early ministry journey. For too long I treated God’s Spirit like an afterthought. I relied on my own strength, rather than the Holy Spirit’s. I confessed my faith in God, but confronted my problems in my own power. I believed God could do great things, but I didn’t activate my faith and depend on him to do those great things. I failed to fully experience and live in the promised Spirit and the promised presence of God. You cannot lead the ministry God has for you on your own steam. Your new life is powered by the grace, love, and ability that flow through the divine person of the Holy Spirit. You’ve got to remember to breathe, spiritually, and be filled by his Spirit. Otherwise, you’ll end up depleted and exhausted, defeated by your default tendency to go it alone.

SCRAPING THE WALL

I know this too well. Several years ago I was on a collision course with burnout. What I experienced was more than simple fatigue or needing a vacation. If you’re worn out, time off can recharge you, but not so with burnout. It’s an exhaustion compounded by emptiness and spiraling into darkness. It’s being emotionally overdrawn and spiritually undersupplied. When you hit full-on burnout, there’s a good chance you won’t bounce back from it with the energy and vigor you had before, especially in the area that caused it. Red flags popped up in my life. The most jarring occurred after a baptism celebration service with new believers. Nothing fires me up like seeing people trust Jesus for their salvation or follow through with baptism. After watching hundreds of people be baptized, I felt… nothing. I was intellectually excited for them, but emotionally numb. I drove home and realized how serious things were in my heart. So I began to examine my life. I’d allowed my prayer life to slide for an extended period. I’ve never been great at sticking to set times of prayer and am at my best when I’m praying throughout the day. I couldn’t remember the last time I had asked God to fill me with his Spirit. I had been going for too long from task to task without personally depending on God. The resulting strain began to wear me down. Bitterness took root in my heart and began to grow. My heart was drifting and becoming cynical. I took on too much travel, too many projects, and didn’t manage my schedule with common sense. My old familiar impatience was rearing its head again. Most of us will circle around the same personality and sin patterns throughout our lives. God’s Spirit can bring victory, but this doesn’t mean these patterns won’t rare their heads again in different seasons, especially when we are vulnerable.

For me, a lack of appropriate boundaries with my schedule and a fierce ability to focus and work are both a strength and a weakness. I have struggled with these my entire adult life with varying degrees of success. My “addictive personality” that once led me down a destructive path of substance abuse shifted its focus to work and ministry. Yet something about my depth of emotional numbness startled me. I feared I might break apart like Humpty Dumpty and never get put back together again the same way. I’d watched friends burnout, so I knew I needed to take action. So I talked to my wife, spiritual advisors, my board of Elders, and friends, being honest about things that needed to change, and I sought accountability with my schedule and life. I worked with my wife Lori to create a “stop doing list.” I quit traveling for an extended season. While I’ve always enjoyed writing, I took an indefinite sabbatical. I gave myself to core tasks of being a husband, father, and local pastor. I got more intentional about my relationship with God. I also worked with a spiritual advisor for an extended period. He’s a Christian psychologist and doesn’t like to be called a counselor, but that’s what he is to me. After several months he told me, “Jud, you didn’t hit the burnout wall head on, but you did sideswipe it pretty good, like an Indy driver who makes the turn but scrapes the wall.”

leaning on the spirit (continued)

I learned that when you’re that depleted, the last thing you have is perspective, especially on how depleted you are. You run out of perspective long before you run out of road and crash. He helped me see that my most important job was not to serve, teach or lead, but simply to breathe. I needed to love God personally and let God love me again. I needed his Spirit to fill me anew.

BOUNCING BACK

I did bounce back, but it was eighteen months before I began to feel like myself again—long enough to fear that I might never recover. But I’ll never forget the joy I felt one Saturday while preparing for our weekend church services. There was nowhere I’d rather be. Nothing I’d rather be doing. No one I’d rather be with than the people of our church. I felt energized, alive, strong, and at peace. Throughout this entire process, the most important part was God’s Spirit. He breathed new life into my weary heart. I experienced the way God’s Spirit brings life not just for salvation, but for every day if we depend on him and seek his guidance and gifting.

Paul said of the Spirit, “He knows all things and makes known to us the deeper things of God” (1 Corinthians 2:11). He is available to help you in your weaknesses and sustain you with every breath. He is filled with love toward you and can ensure you are never alone and never without resources to face whatever you are up against. Ask God’s Spirit to fill you every day. Ask the Spirit to guide you as you study God’s Word and lead. Consider your own stop doing list. Lead yourself well by depending on God’s Spirit. You don’t have to do ministry alone! Jud Wilhite is an author, speaker and senior pastor of Central Church, a church founded in Las Vegas with over twelve locations nationally and internationally. Central is recognized as one of the largest and fastest growing churches in America. He is a bestselling author of several books, including Uncaged, The God of Yes, Pursued, and a study Bible for new believers, The Uncensored Truth Bible for New Beginnings. His teaching segments are heard nationally on K-LOVE radio. He and his wife, Lori, live in the Las Vegas area.