Making deployment easier on spouses

cially during wartime. Will my husband come home? Will he be wounded or disabled? Will the culture affect or disrupt his life?

By David Sutton VETERANS HELPNET CORRESPONDENT

The shocking news invaded the entire household. The unexpected was bound to happen. Military families were about to be separated for the first time, for as long as a year perhaps. Orders to deploy had been issued!

Wives began the anticipated feelings of the agony of separation from their husbands. Will there be loneliness? What if there is an emergency in the family? How will younger wives deal with supporting a military unit that has taken away their dependence upon their husbands? How can a woman be a mother and father at the same time? These and many other questions come to the mind of military wives as they deal with the perils of their husband’s chosen profession of wearing a military uniform.

Each of the military services make provisions to support wives and families during deployments. The Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines establish the support groups within their individual units. All of the support organizations implement basic programs that prepare spouses for the separation. Pre-deployment and anticipation training coupled with practical resources are offered along with other support groups. Each military service group offers creative programs of support. The basic physical, psychological, social, and spiritual needs are met in each program.

“The hardest part of being separated is not knowing anything about the country and culture my husband will be living in every day,” noted Susan, an Air Force wife. “This the first time we have been separated for such a long time. This is his job, and he is trained for it. He is highly skilled.

I am thankful that the Air Force does not leave us young wives feeling like we have been abandoned.”

The Air Force has programs in place sponsored by the Department of Defense and implemented in individual wings. For example, Fairchild Air Force

Base has a Family Readiness group supported by the 92nd Air Refueling Wing. The Army has a similar Family Advocate Group with a main office at Joint Base Lewis-McChord. Both support groups are available to all local Air Force and Army wives, if needed.

“Sometimes I get scared. But

I know I must be strong for the kids,” said Mary, a veteran Army wife and mother of four. “Our kids were raised on Army posts and spent time with other kids whose dads have been deployed up to six times.”

Fulfilling the role of mom and dad at the same time is demanding but certainly not unique in a military community, she added.

Francis has been a military wife for 12 years. Her husband has been deployed for nearly half their marriage. They chose not to have children.

“Our (military wives) support and commitment to our husbands takes its toll. I am an emotional person and a romantic. Not having my husband’s shoulder to cry on and anticipate his supportive hugs is hard,” she spoke frankly. “Other wives share similar feelings and find a comfort from each other when we meet for coffee.”

There are myriad questions that cannot be avoided, espe-

“I appreciated the Anticipation of Deployment training sessions,” reported Rachel, a Navy wife who has experience two deployments. “When Pete (my husband) and I married we knew he would be a career sailor. So, we talked about sea duty, war, and temporary duty assignments.”

She said they both had a chance to back out of his career path.

“We agreed that the Navy choice was a joint decision. It was our faith in God and our love and support of each other that made the difference,” she said. “The care and focus on wives (is) important, but we need to remember that the men are affected also. We are Navy people, together as one in our commitment to the Navy and each other. Our sailors need the same support we have.”

Jackie, an Air Force wife, said loneliness is only part of the change.

“My husband always paid the bills and managed the money. What do I do now? He fixed the car. I don’t know the difference between a screwdriver and a pipe wrench. If something went haywire in the house he took care of it,” she said. “But I learned very quickly how to get things done. I did not learn to do things, but I learned how to find help,” she laughed.

She said a sense of humor helped.

“We could still communicate via our computers. We both laughed at some of my escapades and that helped,’ she said. “I asked him once over the computer if he could build a doghouse! I gave it a shot at building it myself. That poor dog! He had to squeeze into it and the roof leaked.”

Several wives expressed appreciation for the assistance and service benefits. Family Services

See DEPLOY, 9