Help for Parents

By Dr. David Yudell

It seems like a simple question. But often parents are treated as if they should already know the answer. When the school calls and tells you that your child is misbehaving or acting out many questions are sure to follow. Do they do those behaviors at home? Has the school done anything to try to correct the behaviors? Regardless of the answers, the next question you may ask is what are you to do about it?

There are books. There are parenting magazines, classes or forums online. There are neighbors and relatives who will be happy to tell you what they did with their own child. But when the answers do not work or you cannot find a credible source, you may ask yourself…what am I supposed to do?

There are a few basics that should work in most situations. The first one is to talk with your child. Whether they are 7 or 17, engage them in conversation. This will allow you to have a straight forward (and hopefully comfortable) talk with them when the situation (such as the school calling) arises. Tell them what happened and ask them to share their explanation of the situation. There are times when the communication is already strained or the problems are more severe but for the sake of this article we will start at the beginning.

Give them the benefit of the doubt. The truth is often in the middle. Try not to assume that they are immediately at fault, but also be careful not to jump to their defense too quickly. Take the time to work out the problem with a focus on the solution.

Punishment versus reward is a frequent topic in our office. Research universally shows that people will work harder to earn (rewards, privileges, money) than they will to avoid consequences. Use that as the motivation to change behavior. And if any situation begins to repeat or escalate reach out to a professional for guidance. In our current world, many parents are working with Psychologists, therapists and similar professionals to gain support as they raise their family. For most of us there are few things as important as our children. Reaching out to an expert can go a long way towards getting us the answers AND providing the support we need as a parent.

For further information and support please contact us at 954-288-9393 or email DrYudell@DrYudell.com.