Triple Threat

Triple Threat parenting triplets in the Capital District

A lesson worth learning

Knowing how to get along even when there are disagreements is important

When is it time to step in, and when is it time to let your kids figure things out on their own? When do Mom and Dad help, and when do we let them accept responsibilities? This is such a challenge. In four years, my children will be old enough to live on their own and face all consequences (positive or negative) for their actions. I just want to be sure that they can deal with all the stuff that life can throw their way. Shoot! Most days, I would like to be able to handle it all, too.

The way I was brought up has helped me figure out some of the best ways to help Olivia, Benjamin and Rebecca deal with one another when things are tense. Don’t get me wrong, my kids fight and argue like most everybody by else’s. Three kids Jennifer and two adults with one bathSteuer room can make life a little tricky. Getting ready for school is the hardest part of the day because all three leave at the same time. I can only offer guidance. With great pride, I can say that they figured out how to make it work on their own. Everyone gets to school on time.

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115464_4 The Steuer family can occasionally butt heads, but they have learned that it is also important to talk things through.

When I was growing up, there were four kids and only one bathroom. In a house with two boys and two girls, plus my mom, dealing with a crowded bathroom every morning led to a schedule to help keep everyone moving and off to school or work on-time. We still got in one another’s way. Sometimes by accident and sometimes on purpose, we would cause a fight and then had to figure out the best way to solve it while our mom was working. It wasn’t always easy to get along.

Picking a fight is easy – just bring up politics, religion, family and any other topic that has the potential to have more than one opinion. The more people with strong feelings about a topic increases the potential for a “spirited discussion.” Our family of five can butt heads sometimes. Sometimes it can feel like a free-for-all. Once we talk it through, the kids see how people can misinterpret signals or hear things incorrectly.

Harlan and I are trying to teach the kids respect. When Olivia, Benjamin and Rebecca go out with friends, they will have conversations, and I want to be sure they can have a discussion and be respectful. There are so many roadblocks that can derail a friendship, and as they get older, they will branch out and meet other people and be introduced to other ideas. This momma bird is going to push her little chicks out of the nest with the ability to listen, have a conversation and be respectful!

My mom helped me to be a responsible and respectful adult. My father and friend Rose made sure I grew up right. It didn’t happen in a day, just like it won’t happen in a day for Olivia, Benjamin and Rebecca. Over the past 14 years, Harlan and I have started laying a generous foundation with our kids. When there is a problem, they can come to us. We listen to them. Respect goes both ways.

I realize that kids need to spread their wings. I want Olivia, Benjamin and Rebecca to have space to spread their beautiful wings that will take them anywhere they want to go.

Jennifer Steuer is an Albany mom whose busy household includes her husband, Harlan, and 14-year-old triplets Olivia, Benjamin and Rebecca. Follow her on Instagram: jennifersteuer.

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have any favorite parts about your day?” and “What did you learn today?” and I make sure to ask “What else happened in your day that you want to share with me?” In the evening, when we are doing our nighttime routine, I always lie with my daughter to read a book, pray and share a couple fun made up stories. After that, I rub her back.

I feel this is a time she opens up even more to me about her feelings, her day, anything else that may be on her mind. I’m glad I do this because I learn even more about my child in these moments.

Say “yes” more

If my daughter asks to do something, instead of a quick no, I try to say we can do that after we do this first. I also try to say, “Let’s see if we can do that later this week.” I think by changing my words and how I respond, I have seen a bigger impact on her spirit. If we tell children “no” all the time, it definitely has a negative impact. Choose to use words that can uplift them and use the word “no” for things that are definitely a no.

Apologize to your child

If you make a mistake or are wrong about something, don’t be afraid to apologize. It shows your children that you are human too and that no one is perfect. Many parents and children think that they need to be or appear to be perfect. It’s not only impossible but it’s such a burden to try to even have that kind of standard.

I think there is a deeper and beautiful bond that happens when we can be authentic, real and own up to our mistakes in front of our kids. Your children will appreciate this, and you will too when you see them learn by example.

The more you love your children, the more they learn to love others. The days are long but the years are short, so remember to laugh, play, show up, put down your phones, read to them, hug them, dance with them, respect them, uplift them and love them!

Quoida Lauzon is a Capital District mom and a Registered Nurse who specializes in maternal and infant health, breastfeeding and childbirth education. She teaches classes and coaches new mothers in their pregnancy and “fourth trimester” journey and believes women should thrive, not just survive, motherhood. Connect with her on social media @ nurse.q.lauzon or visit nurseq. com.