Triple Threat

Triple Threat parenting triplets in the Capital District

On to a new year

Despite the ups and downs of 2021, the Steuer family has managed to keep the light shining

This year is just about over and I am not quite sure how I feel about it. There were some amazing parts of 2021, and those memories will always be cherished. In our family, we continued the pandemic battle, watched the insurrection, had a B’nai Mitzvah, started eighth grade and started making better choices. Each day I watched as the world and my kids changed. I watched Olivia, Benjamin and Rebecca change in so many ways and become better people. They are becoming the sturdy individuals I am going to send out into the world.

Just like every other family on the planet, ours faced ups and downs in 2021. We have some great memories, and others we would love to bury in a pit and cover with cement. I believe that even in the darkest moments, we all have a light inside us that shines and connects us to one another. The lowest depth of despair, the highest happiness and all the feelings in between is part of life. My family has hit a bump or two, and now we just keep rolling.

Olivia, Benjamin and Rebecca are fantastic kids – 13-yearolds learning to navigate this weird world we are now living in. I am raising them with resilience and the ability to pivot and go down a new path, but the line between mothering and smothering is something I have to watch out for. I love my kids so much. They are almost 14, and I don’t know how so much time went by when I barely blinked. My kids are growing up, and my heart aches with love when I look at them.

This year gave me a chance to learn about each of them a little more. I got to see a part of their lives I may have missed if we weren’t all home together. Yes, the pandemic has destroyed parts of life as we knew it, but it also enriched some pieces of mine. I feel guilty for saying that. I learned my kids can multi-task. I learned I can sit and just be still. I know I can be in the moment and just enjoy it. The kids also learned more about their parents. Even on days that the house was loud and we couldn’t turn around without crashing into someone, we learned we could laugh and be happy.

December is a tricky month. The proximity of Harlan’s birthday to Christmas is almost

by Jennifer Steuer

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The Steuer family’s summer trip to the beach was followed by a medical emergency that had a life-changing impact on them all.

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comical for a Jewish kid. Harlan will be 50 this month. This is also the month he was diagnosed with End Stage Renal Disease in 2015. Since then, he has had many operations and made many recoveries. He is a fighter. Benjamin, Rebecca and Olivia have watched him spend hours on dialysis. They saw him taken away by ambulance, watched him struggle with low blood pressure and learned what perseverance looks like.

We had another major life change in July. After an amazing few days at the beach with friends, Harlan required another vascular bypass in his leg. He has developed Peripheral Vascular Disease secondary to End Stage Renal Disease and dialysis. In August, he had his big toe amputated because it had no blood flow and became necrotic. Then the surgical site became necrotic. In September, just shy of being married for 16 years, my wonderful husband had a below-the-knee amputation of his left leg.

Harlan may not always see the light in himself or how brightly he shines – we can’t always see it in ourselves – so I hold the mirror for him to reflect that light back. Each of the children holds a mirror for him, too, and have become more compassionate and empathetic toward one another and the world at large.

We all have had setbacks in life that seem insurmountable. I am teaching them that even if life is hard moving forward every inch, every centimeter is progress.

Now we pivot and proceed. Our lives are not irretrievably broken. The life we are living just needs an adjustment to stoke the flames that temper us into stronger and sturdier versions of ourselves, so we can all glow and shine a little brighter.

Jennifer Steuer is an Albany mom whose busy household includes her husband, Harlan, and 13-year-old triplets Olivia, Benjamin and Rebecca. Follow her on Instagram: jennifersteuer.