parenting triplets in the Capital District
Triple Threat
Growing independent ndependence is nothing new to the United States. Especially in the month we celebrate this country’s founding, we talk about freedom, democracy and inalienable rights. The desire to be able to do things as we want is part of our DNA. The big question becomes, “What if my desire for independence infringes on another person’s idea of independence?” Some of the biggest debates recently have been whether to vaccinate or not, to wear a mask or not and what activities are safe during a pandemic. How much independence is safe? When Olivia, Benjamin and
Rebecca were little and learning to do new things, they wanted to do some things on their own. Is there anything better than watching a 2-year-old try over and over to button a shirt? If I was in a hurry, I would try by to move things along and do it myself. The shrieks of “I do it!” became deafening at times because all three would be unhappy that we had limited time. Getting out the door for an appointment could take hours. No matter how much planning I did, we barely got places on time. I tried to let them do things on their
own, and as they got older the desire to be independent of me became stronger. The last 454-plus days have gone from things being whatever they were to being told to shelter at home, social distance and wear masks if we must leave our homes. I went from running to the grocery store on a whim to really trying to plan every outing to avoid the most people. Doctors’ appointments became a virtual experience. If an appointment had to be in-person no one could be with you. Having masks on made it harder to
Jennifer Steuer
communicate and understand what the person was saying. Understanding a person with no facial clues was frustrating. Depending on those around us to also use masks and quarantine as needed was so hard. We lost our independence because of a virus. In early 2020, Rebecca, Olivia and Benjamin had been gaining independence and learning what it means to be responsible for themselves. Just before being forced to stay home, they had been staying after school with friends, joining clubs and figuring out what they were really interested in
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The pandemic temporarily halted siblings’ steps toward autonomy
July 2021 — cdFamilyNow.com 7
