Broken Link Divorce News - August 2012 by Cory Dobson

DIVORCE BROKEN LINK

August 2012

www.brokenlink.ca

Published By Tina Schultz Designed By Spy Design www.brokenlink.ca/divorcenews

FREE MONTHLY

NEWS

Using a Private Investigator During Divorce

By Patrick Lam, Director of Operations

All Private Investigators in Alberta MUST be licensed with the Solicitor General’s office. Only licensed Private Investigation Agencies, not individual licensed investigators, are lawfully permitted to accept investigation requests from the general public. Ask to view the Agency’s license when you meet at their office and it is recommended that you research the agency with the local Better Business Bureau. When you finally make the decision to contact a private investigation agency, you should expect a high level of professionalism and confidentiality with all your interactions. You should be detailed with your concerns and forthright with your information. Having your lawyer involved can assist with specific focuses of an investigation. Together, they can determine what information will be beneficial to your divorce proceedings. If you are concerned are about your partner’s fidelity or hiding of assets or your ex-partner’s “stories” about lifestyle needs or their claim of financial constraints or you have suspicions about their parental activities, obtaining objective evidence should always be the focus of any professional investigations. A detailed report with any supporting video evidence, in a court acceptable format, should be available for you at the conclusion of an investigation.

Hiring an Investigator can be a costly undertaking; do not hesitate to ask for details of their billing practices. Investigations can range from a few hundred dollars to many thousands of dollars, with the average investigation costing approximately $1,000.00. An agency should provide on-going updates of their investigation and associated costs. This will help you to manage the over-all costs of an investigation. Having objective and honest information, gathered by a licensed and experienced investigative agency, will help ease your mind and significantly assist with your decisions. Additional information is available on our website (www.primepi.ca) or contact our office (403-217-2137) to speak confidentially with a Director of Investigations. Consult a lawyer for all legal advice. All rights reserved © Prime Investigations Ltd.

The Realities of Real Estate during a Divorce By Kevin Seitz, B. Mgt, ABR. Calgary and area Realtor since 2005, Carter & Associates Realty

Divorce brings many emotional, financial, legal and real estate issues. During this time a non-emotional objective and informative advice can help you make the right decision, when it comes to the “house.”

income. Make sure you can refinance on your own or it’s not worth the fight, talk to your financial Institution.

3) Have your spouse buy you out: Begin with a fresh start and new surroundings by taking the pay out When it comes to divorce and the and moving. Be sure to speak to a matrimonial home there are four lawyer and your financial institution options: to arrange for the proper transfer of title. If both spouses are listed on 1) Sell the house and split the proceeds: the title, then you are both liable for In this situation you will want to the mortgage. This liability could be maximize your home’s selling price. difficult to qualify for a new mortgage. A Real Estate Professional can assist you in this regard and give you a 4) Retain mutual ownership: professional valuation of your home In some situations, couples choose to using the local market, similar homes keep the ownership as it is while one that have sold in your neighbourhood, or both parties remain in the home. and the overall condition of your home. This can work as long as you have an Understanding what your net proceeds agreement on who pays what in your will be after the sale of your home will separation agreement. help in your division of marital assets. Make sure you discuss these scenarios 2) Buy out your spouse: with a financial expert or divorce If you are planning to stay put professional before you make any you need to consider the financial decisions, as your decisions today obligations. Can you continue making will affect your future. Knowing all the mortgage payments on one salary your options and understanding the and all the other expenses that go ramifications of each will give you a along with owning a home? Perhaps piece of mind. you can renegotiate the mortgage or look at finding additional sources of All rights reserved © Kevin Seitz

Bring your sexy back with A revolutionary contouring treatment that freezes stubborn fat cells in exercise-resistant areas & naturally eliminates them.

1504 15th Avenue SW 403.245.8008 | calgarycoolsculpting.com CoolSculpting® and the CoolSculpting® logo are registered trademarks of ZELTIQ Aesthetics, Inc. The “snowflake” mark is a trademark of ZELTIQ Aesthetics, Inc. Copyright © 2011, ZELTIQ Aesthetics, Inc. IC0382-A

403.547.9558 thesparitual.com 106 Crowfoot Terrace NW

Kevin Seitz B.Mgt, ABR

TOP COMPANY REALTOR® 2010 CARTER & ASSOCIATES REALTY 400, 7015 MACLEOD TRAIL, Calgary, AB P: (403) 850-0252 F: (403) 476-5091 E: kevinsellscalgary@live.ca Whether you're looking to buy or sell in and around the Calgary area, I'm ready to help you through the process at every step of the way -and I promise I'll keep it light, easy, and fun.

CONSIDERING DIVORCE? GET ORGANIZED By Tina Schultz, CDFA™ Broken Link Divorce Planning

Before you consider divorce I suggest you get organized. You spent months maybe even years organizing your wedding to make sure it was flawless right? Now put that type of energy into your divorce and you will have less stress and will feel more in control. Feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed will just add to your already emotional state. These points are not in any specific order but all should be done and considered: 1. Close or freeze all joint accounts and credit cards – open a personal account with your name.

2. Build your credit now while you are still married, might be easier to get your own credit card with spouses info. 3. Pull a credit report immediately so you know what your debt is.

4. See if you can qualify on your own to purchase a home (fighting over a matrimonial home if you don’t qualify isn’t worth it). 5. Gather all financial information that you have access to, photocopy twice (keep one copy at home and the other copy somewhere safe: Assets, Liabilities, Property, Credit cards, bank accounts, joint or separate, insurance policies, Pensions, Health benefits, registered/non registered accounts (RRSP, RESP, Stocks, bonds, etc), Loans, exempt property (inheritances, lottery winnings, gifts, accident injury payout), and any other items you think are necessary.

Tina Schultz, CDFA™

P 403.880.0857 E info@brokenlink.ca W www.brokenlink.ca

“Divorcing With Integrity”

Pr oper planning and expert help from a Certiﬁed Divorce Financial Analyst™ can increase and improve your chances of arriving at a fa ir settlement in your divorce that fully addresses your long term needs and goals.

6. Make a list of your future goals regarding finances: Are kids going to college (when?), are you going back to school or more training so you can work? Are you renting or purchasing a new home? What are your new expenses going to be, make a list (cell, electricity, heat, etc)? 7. Update your will and life insurance policies, change beneficiary, power of attorney, etc.

8. Make an extensive inventory of all assets in your home that have any high value, use garage sale prices on house hold items, and take pictures if necessary. 9. Get your tax returns and notice of assessments from last 3-5 years ready. 10. Have a copy of your marriage certificate.

11. If you are on your spouse’s health benefits, take advantage of them NOW!

12. Change all passwords for Facebook, email, twitter, etc. Possibly even delete email accounts and Facebook accounts and start all over again. 13. Do not hide assets; there are ways of finding everything.

14. Get informed about your options of resolutions, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Mediator, Family Lawyer, and Collaborative Law Lawyer. 15. Take care of yourself and your health. All Rights Reserved © Broken Link Divorce Planning

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE

Independent Associate

c: (403) 968-6313 e: brentd84@gmail.com

Reference number 125762294

“

When a big change occurs in your life it forces you to change direction. Sometimes the new path may not be easy, but you can be absolutely certain that there is magnificence for you on the new path. You can be absolutely certain that the new path contains things that you could not have experienced otherwise. When we look back at a negative event that occurred in the past, we often see how in fact it transformed our life. We see how that event directed us toward a life that we would not change for anything.

brentdavidson.legalshield.com

“

BRENT DAVIDSON

- From The Secret Daily Teachings by Rhonda Byrne www.thesecret.tv

LegalShield - A Unique Service and a Priceless Benefit By Brent Davidson

Have you ever thought about divorce, had questions but didn’t know who to talk to? What happens if there is a custody issue? Who becomes the legal guardian should something happen to you? If you are separated, is your current Will valid? What if you don’t have a Will? What is a Legal Separation Agreement? Who gets to stay in the matrimonial home? What age do the children get to decide? What if a Restraining Order is necessary? Who is responsible for university tuition? These are all questions that demand answers yet at $300.00 per hour or more, most people can’t afford to call a lawyer, yet making a decision without proper advice could affect you and your family for a lifetime. LegalShield gives you the ability to talk to a lawyer on any matter without worrying about high hourly costs. For one flat monthly fee, you can access legal advice, no matter how traumatic or trivial the issue. That’s why under the protection of LegalShield you and your family can live your life worry-free, every day, every night, now and forever. Would you rather pay a lawyer $300 per hour or just over a dollar a day? Now instead of worrying about the high hourly cost you can have access to top quality lawyers throughout North America for less than the price of a coffee a day. All rights reserved © LegalShield Brent Davidson 403-609-0990

Seminars / Webinars

Recommended Books

Websites

•

Chicken Soup for the Soul - Divorce & Recovery By Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen

•

w w w. a l b e r t a c o u r t s . a b . c a / g o / CourtServices/FamilyJusticeServices/ CoursesSeminarsforParentsandFamilies/ tabid/126/Default.aspx

Topics: Family Plan, Identity Theft Shield & Business Opportunity

•

How do I tell the kids about the divorce? By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

•

www.community.ywcaofcalgary.com/page. aspx?pid=330

Contact Brent Davidson: brentd84@gmail.com or 403.609.0990

•

Surviving Your Divorce - A Guide to Canadian Family Law By Michael G. Cochrane

•

www.divorcemag.com

•

www.familyofmen.com

•

www.childsupportcalculator.ca/alberta.html

•

www.cra-arc/gc/ca/menu-eng.html

•

www.publications.gc.ca/collection_2007/jus/ J2-215-2007E.pdf

LegalShield - Aug 17th and 31st @ 11:30am - 1pm Executive Luncheon @ Dobsons Restaurant

5 Don’ts When Telling Kids About Divorce By Rosalind Sedacca

Preparing to break the divorce news to your kids? Wondering how to broach the subject and how much to share? How your children will react and how to handle their questions? Well you’re not alone. Talking about divorce to your children is tough. You don’t want to make errors you will regret. There are many common mistakes parents make at this time. Here are five of the most important you should avoid: • Blaming or speaking disrespectfully about your children’s other parent. It creates pain, guilt and confusion for your kids. They wonder, “If there’s something wrong with Dad/Mom, there must be something wrong with me for loving them.” This can damage your parental relationship.

• Confiding adult information to your children. Parents do this to bond with or try to win the kids over. It creates a burden that children can’t handle and they’ll resent you for it. Talk to adults about adult issues. • Fighting in front of the children – ever! Remember you will still be their parents following the divorce. The more you can create a parenting alliance, the happier and more stable your children will be. Fortunately there’s a lot of support to turn to before having the tough “divorce talk.” Speak to a divorce mediator or see a therapist. Find a Child-Centered or Collaborative Divorce attorney. Seek the advice of Divorce and Parenting Coaches, school counselors or clergy. There are also many valuable books on this topic.

• Pressuring children to make choices. Most kids feel torn when Whatever you do, prepare yourself in advance and try to approach asked to choose between their parents. Don’t put them in that the children together. Be aware of the impact of your words on position. their innocent psyches. Think before you speak, listen to your children’s responses, and be there to help them face the changes • Assuming your children understand they are not to blame. ahead with security, compassion and love. Children are innocent victims of divorce. Remind them frequently that they are not at fault – even, and especially, if you are fighting with their other parent about them.

Rosalind Sedacca, Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, is the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? For her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting, blog, coaching services and other valuable resources for parents, visit: www.childcentereddivorce.com.

Parenting After Separation Family Justice Services

The objectives of Parenting After Separation are to provide parents with tools to: understand and support their children’s needs in separation; help children through the separation; maintain a positive relationship with children; understand the emotional, financial and legal implications of parenting apart; assist parents in preparing a parenting plan; gain an understanding about court processes (i.e., adversarial, litigation); and promote mediation, collaborative law and other dispute resolution options as a means of resolving disputes. Additional must attend to receive a required for

Court of Queen’s Bench; attendance is voluntary for Provincial Court matters unless ordered by the court; no children will be admitted and; security is on site.

Parenting After Separation for Families in High Conflict (PASHC) The more intense, long-lasting and open the conflict between the parents during their separation, the more difficulties the child may experience. Children often respond to parental conflict with aggressive behaviour, depression and other behaviour problems. In some instances, a high information: parents level of conflict may continue for sevthe entire 6 hour course eral years after separation. Families certificate; attendance is experiencing high conflict may roumost proceedings in the tinely find themselves in court to solve Continued >>

issues that should be relatively simple. PASHC is a no cost 3 hour seminar available to all parents who have already completed the 6 hour Parenting After Separation course. PASHC is presently available in Edmonton and Calgary areas only.

for the parents through parallel parenting; affords some degree of safety and; focuses on high degree of structure to reduce opportunity for conflict Additional Information: participation is voluntary unless directed by the Court to attend; no children are permitted; security is on site; certificates are provided on completion of the workshop.

PASHC course objectives are: To provide parents with information about the process of emotional disengagement, what boundaries are and how to renegotiate them and how to manage conflict. To help parents learn about child development and the needs of children: the parent-child continuum and helping children cope. To encourage development of a parenting plan: maintains separation/disengagement

For more information (PASHC), please call: Edmonton 780-413-9805; Calgary 403-440-3833

The Government of Alberta, Justice and Attorney General also offers a course called Focus on Children in Separation (FOCIS). This no cost course is designed to

help parents communicate while parenting apart. For more information (FOCIS), please call: Calgary 403297-6981; Edmonton 780-644-5092; Elsewhere in Alberta 403-340-7187; Dial 310-0000 first for toll free access in Alberta.

Family Justice Services is a group of programs and services offered by the Government of Alberta, Justice and Attorney General and the Alberta courts to help Albertans get appropriate solutions for family law disputes. For more information, please call: Calgary 403-297-6981; Edmonton 780-427-8329; Elsewhere in Alberta 403-3407187; Dial 310-0000 first for toll free access in Alberta. Website: www.albertacourts.ab.ca All rights reserved © Family Justice Services

Divorce from a Social Dynamics Perspective By Kevin Choo

First of all it is important to understand that there are relationships all around us. Literally everything/anything you could like or dislike, love or hate, you can build/have a relationship with. Even in nature, within different eco-systems, relationships are what keep everything in that balance. All relationships are also based on an exchange of value. In mathematical relationships these exchanges are based on a numerical value, while relationships within chemistry are based on an exchange of chemicals/compounds. In the natural world relationships are based on survival/environmental values. When analyzing relationships with people we find that the value we exchange is based on our needs as well as emotional value. By looking at the different types of needs (Google “Maslows Hierarchy of Needs”) we can determine the different types of values that relationships are build upon. Example: Physiological (Survival) and Safety (Comfort) needs are all values that are short term. Whether its the food you’re eating,

Sudoku Game 4

7 6

6 4 8

High Cost $$$$

Arbitration - a formal process just like going to court, if parties remain deadlocked on certain issues. Both parties will meet with the arbitrator and present their respective positions, both parties must be prepared to accept and abide by the arbitrators ruling.

4 3

Litigation - a legal process where parties argue their case against each other through the usage of discovery and court room procedures. Very expensive and a judge decides your future for you and your children.

2 7

Divorce Resolution Options

the job you have or the state of your health, it is always changing. Money come’s money goes as they say. Whereas the esteem (psychological) and self-actualization (fulfillment) needs are much more long-term, if not indefinite. The relationships where you might derive creativity from, or a sense of spontaneity, even an achievement you have earned, or a true sense of confidence. Those are all long-term values. Why does divorce exist? Simply put, long-term relationships are based on long-term values whereas short-term relationships are based off of shortterm relationships. Divorce is when a long-term commitment is based off of short-term values and ultimately ends after those short-term value exchanges change or stop existing. Developing your relationship towards the long-term values/needs through creating and developing a connection would create a long-term, long-lasting relationship. Learn more @ www.kingpinlifestyle. com.

Collaborative Law Practice - both parties retain an individual lawyer. Downside is, if you can’t reach a satisfactory settlement you might be headed to court, both lawyers are disqualified you have to start whole process over again with new lawyers. Legal fees can get high in this process.

2 7

1 8

Mediation - a neutral third party helps with unresolved issues using negotiation techniques and the parties decide what happens.

Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ - a financial expert in property and asset division and provides expertise related to financial issues of divorce. Creates a rock solid personal financial analysis for the client to make sure the client understands the short and long term financial impacts of different settlement proposals. Works with mediators and Lawyers to make sure the property division is fair.

Advertising Inquiries: advertising@brokenlink.ca If You Have Suggestions For Articles Please Submit To comments@brokenlink.ca Tina Schultz (403) 880-0857 www.brokenlink.ca/divorcenews

Low Cost

Resolved at Your Kitchen Table Low Conflict