Advocacy Beyond Stereotypes

Disability rights advocate and lawyer Haley Moss talks the nuance of neurodiversity.

Written by Elizabeth Parent, Illustrated by Soo Hyun Namkoong

In my experience being neurodiverse, I realize that we tend to gloss over or look past very serious injustices or ableism towards my community. According to Jeff Miller of Potentia, at least 20% of adults are neurodiverse. Yet, somehow, we are still struggling to get past stigmas, alienation, or just blatant disrespect. Advocacy is so crucial for those who can’t speak up for themselves or fear the repercussions of doing so.

Haley Moss, a disability lawyer based in Miami, Florida, is one of those advocates who helps to communicate what disability rights are, why they are important, and why they shouldn’t be ignored. Having conversations about disability and disability rights is underdone, but it is often an important conversation we should be having. Above all else, human rights consist of the ability to be free from alienation and be treated equally, which, unfortunately, is not a guarantee to all— including those in the neurodiverse community. Moss has accomplished a lot in her years of being an advocate, disability lawyer, writer, and artist. She takes every opportunity to generate awareness surrounding neurodiversity—even recently appearing on national television to explain her stances on disability rights coinciding with human rights.

Being neurodiverse comes with its hurdles, we have to learn the basics of human emotion around us, social cues, and even how to communicate what we’re feeling when we are feeling it. A lot of these tasks are second nature to the neurotypical population, and that’s what sometimes casts us to the side, the inability to do everything our peers can do right from the start. When Haley was young, she was thought to be completely nonverbal indefinitely. Her doctors and family didn’t think she’d ever come close to saying a full sentence let alone become a well-respected disability advocate and a disability lawyer. She often speaks about her mother giving her support and guidance along the way, and how much it helps to have someone care about what you do, and how you get there.

Over the past decade, Moss has been writing books on autism and disability rights, and even disability law topics. She takes pride in expressing her values surrounding neurodiversity as it’s a topic she has passionately defended since she was diagnosed as a child. It is completely okay to not know something, or be uneducated on the topic at hand, but it is so important to not be dismissive of this community, because chances are they have been dealing with dismission, alienation, or even bullying for a good part of their lives.

What does being a disability advocate mean for you, and what type of fulfillment have you experienced from it?

Moss: Being an advocate means using my voice to speak for myself and my perspectives, educating others, and sharing more about autism and neurodiversity while also highlighting the issues that affect my community. It also means knowing when to listen, pass the mic, and amplify others who have different experiences than I do. As for fulfillment, I think there is so much to be done in order to have a more inclusive and accessible world, and knowing that this work will continue to exist although it shouldn’t have to exist keeps me going. I also think the people who want to learn more about neurodiversity and disability are open-minded, passionate, and genuinely want to do better. So, I think I meet a lot of really cool people, and every day is an adventure!

You recently made an appearance on the talk show Banfield speaking about Britney Spears and disability rights. Without getting too political, what do you think people often overlook in trials pertaining to disabilities from an attorney’s perspective?

Moss: If we’re talking about Britney Spears, people really tend to overlook the disability issues involved—if they are involved. Most of the focus is on other aspects of social justice, such as reproductive justice and sexism, but ignoring that people who end up in conservatorships, like Britney, are deemed disabled by the court is a mistake.

Reproductive rights and disability rights are intertwined, and disability is intersectional with most marginalization. But as for what people overlook in court proceedings involving disability is mostly how disability can be involved. Even in conservatorships and guardianships, those proceedings happen primarily to people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Also, there are lots of issues with how disability is perceived on the stand if someone is testifying and sharing their side or what they might have seen as a witness.

Ableism* is a real trial that all disabled people experience one way or the other, but what advice could you give to the inadvertent ableist, or the one who tries to say the right things, but messes it up somewhere along the way?

Moss: Ableism is embedded in our culture, and even people with disabilities can unintentionally say or do ableist things. Think about how often we say ‘crazy,’ even though it is seen as offensive to some people with mental health disabilities. One of the hardest experiences I have is with “benevolent ableism,” when people offer me help when it is neither wanted nor needed. It’s well-intentioned and disguised as caring, but often speaks over or silences a disabled person because somebody else is deciding what’s best for us without our consent. I think about this a lot in terms of parties–I’ve had friends tell me I wasn’t invited because they thought a social situation might be too loud for me and they were being kind by excluding me, instead of inviting me and allowing me to make the choice. A lot of my advice is simple–it’s okay to mess up. We all do it. What’s important is what you do with that information. You realize what you did, why it is wrong, apologize if you’ve hurt someone, and learn how to do better. I come from a place of calling people in, rather than calling them out. How do we turn the harmful things people say or do, especially if they mean well, into little moments of learning and growth? That’s what I hope to do.

We talk a lot about neurodiversity and the obstacles that come with it, but in a sense of practicality in the real world, how has being disabled affected you?

Moss: I am autistic, and I can’t separate my autism from myself. I don’t know what it is like to be neurotypical or nondisabled. I likely never will, nor would I trade the brain I have for a neurotypical one. Some things are very overwhelming for me! I sometimes have difficulties from sensory differences, so places that are really loud and crowded can be a lot to handle. I also struggle with making friends and understanding certain social cues. Also, my executive functioning skills aren’t the best. I have a hard time knowing when to start and stop things and doing a lot of the things young adults typically struggle with. Except I do want to do stuff like clean my apartment, and I just find the steps of getting out the vacuum, mop, different cleaners, etc. to be cognitively overloading so then nothing gets done. It isn’t the same as “I don’t want to do this.”

What’s some advice you have for people who want to help their disabled or neurodiverse loved ones?

Moss: One of the best things you can do as an ally is be affirming. People with disabilities are often told either by people they care about or society as a whole that something is “wrong” with them, and they are broken. Instead, we should be supportive and give that person as much love as we can while rallying around them. People know what they struggle with, but it’s less often we talk about what someone is good or encourage them to follow their dreams and nurture their talents. Aligning people to their strengths and celebrating those differences can make a world of difference for someone.

For the neurodiverse community, an ally or advocate means the world. A lot of times we are left trying to find someone to help or listen to, and when we have someone like Haley batting for us, we can rest easy knowing she cares.

* Ableism is a term we use to describe a person who favors able-bodied or minded folks and discriminates against those with disabilities. As an advocate, Haley has had her fair share of run-ins with even those who mean well, but still have some of those same mindsets.