The Gig Guide letters only

Dragon Friends: A D&D Comedy Show // The Vanguard // 7pm

Thursday 11 May

POC Revue // 11-13 May // Reginald Theatre, Seymour Centre // 7pm

Breaking Sound ft. giddy, Xela, Will Baker + Matt Landi // The Lansdowne // 7:30pm

WANKERNOMICS –Solutionising the Corporate World // Enmore Theatre // 9:15pm

Ting Lim — Every Ting or No Ting // 11-14 May // Enmore Theatre // 9:30pm

Friday 12 May

UNI TUNES: Live At The Metro // Metro Theatre // 6:45pm

Wicked Things // The Lansdowne // 7:30pm

Leak Your Own Nudes Sydney: A Queer Undie Party // Red Rattler // 9pm

Saturday 13 May

Future Science Talks // 1314 May // Enmore Theatre // 5:30pm

The Iron Maidens // Manning Bar // 7pm

Josh Shipton and the Blue Eyed Ravens: Rivers And Bones album launch // Red Rattler Theatre // 7pm get rid of your phone and get a sensual massage. Feeling your body well-rested can be an amazing way of feeling yourself again.

Horny Soit is trying to make it through mercury retrograde.

Libra: Food is your love language so bond with them better over food: kissing on the tabletop as your pasta cooks and fingering with lemongrass chicken in the oven? Hell fucking yum.

Scorpio: The pool table is your new spot for scoring. Coy eye contacts across the table and slight teaching can land you in that hotti’s bedroom, you’re winning at pool and cumming five times in a row.

Sagittarius: It’s okay to run away from things! The sending you flowers and cake after a mediocre first date can be too much, so communicate that and tell them to slow the fuck down.

Capricorn: Awkward walk of shame out of their home in the morning might be normal these days, but you will be having some mind boggling morning sex. The cold mornings will be warm as they pull you under the blanket or you against each other on the balcony because wow, the sun is shining just for you.

Aquarius: Add some magic to your wardrobe! Little harnesses on lingerie, additional lace and satin bows hurt no one and they won’t be able to get their eyes off you.

Pisces: You’re the ultimate dancing queen. You in that leather jacket, twirling your hair with beer in hand is the move attracting everyone towards you but you need not look at them. Keep dancing and dancing in your own way and the whole world will wait for you.

Art by Long Huynh