Make the perfect statement

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It’s time to make the perfect statement

eed n u o All y perfect e for th rsonal pe ent m e t a st


Why is my personal statement so important anyway? 2

Every year universities receive thousands of applications from students like you who are hoping to get a place. Apart from grades, the personal statement is the number one tool for deciding who should get an acceptance letter and who shouldn’t. The good thing about a personal statement is that it’s really down to the individual and how much work they put in to sell themselves. If you put in the effort to create an outstanding statement, you’ll have a much better chance of standing out. An experienced admissions tutor can tell when an applicant has put the time and effort in.

TIP! TOP

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Make every word count Give yourself the edge We’ve created this guide to help you through every stage of writing your personal statement; from that tricky first sentence to applying the finishing touches. You’ll find all the key information you need to include and advice on how to get the structure just right. Just remember that the hardest part is sitting down and starting. Once you’ve got going, it gets a lot easier. So pay close attention to our hints and tips and you’ll take one big leap closer to getting the university place you want.

This is your big chance to show the university admissions team who you are or why you’d be a great choice for their course. You have 47 lines or 4,000 characters (not words) to do the job. It may sound like a lot, but you’ll find they vanish pretty quickly when you start writing, so you need to be direct and avoid repeating yourself if you want to make every word count.


The secret to getting ahead is getting started. OK, let’s start writing There are at least 5 areas that your personal statement should cover (6 if you’re planning, or have taken, a gap year). These are: 4 SECTION 1 SUBJECT INTEREST

35% N4 SECTIO AR GAP YE

N2 SECTIO WORK IENCE EXPER

SECTION 3 HOBBIES AN D INTERESTS

25% 15%

SECTION 5 ACHIEVEMENTS

SECTI ON 6 CARE ER GO AL

5% 10% 10%

The percentages beside each section reflect the amount of your word count you should probably allocate. So for your interest in the subject, you should allow about 35% of your total (around 1200 characters). To keep things simple, this booklet looks at all 6 in turn, so as you read on, start making notes in the boxes about the kind of things you could write about yourself for those sections. You can make short notes or start writing full sentences, but it doesn’t have to be perfect. You’ll have plenty of time to edit later.

SECTION 1 - SUBJECT INTEREST

The first section is the critical one. Why does the subject you want to study interest you? What specifically is it about the area of study that you like? Is it related to a career you are planning on? It’s a good idea to show that you understand the course on offer, by referring to specific modules or trips you’re looking forward to.

WORD COUNT GUIDE 35%

SECTION 2 - WORK EXPERIENCE

This is your chance to explain how any experiences you have had in the last 2 years might support your studies and career path. What skills have you acquired that relate to your degree? What knowledge have you learned that could be of particular interest to the admissions team?

WORD COUNT GUIDE 25%

“You can write up to 4,000 characters of text that shows you’d make a great student – so it might take a few redrafts until you’re happy with it.” UCAS.com


WORD COUNT GUIDE 35%

SECTION 1 SUBJECT INTEREST

35% 5 WORD COUNT GUIDE 25%

SECTION 2 WORK EXPERIENCE

25%


SECTION 3 - HOBBIES AND INTERESTS

Here’s where you can really make an impact with things you do in your spare time. Activities like the Duke of Edinburgh Award or after school/college activities such as sports, walking, reading or dancing, will definitely be of interest. But don’t just list what you do; think about what these interests have taught you as well.

WORD COUNT GUIDE 15%

SECTION 5 - ACHIEVEMENTS

Your achievements from the last 18 months don’t have to be spectacular (though it’s great if they are!) – they just need to be important to you. These should be the things that you are most proud of. Have you raised money for charity, run a marathon, or passed a grade playing a musical instrument? Think about what personality traits your achievements show, and how they relate to your chosen subject.

WORD COUNT GUIDE 10% SECTION 4 - GAP YEAR

If you haven’t done a gap year and don’t plan to, you can skip this section. But if you did have a gap year, what did you learn? What were your achievements? If you’re planning to take one, what do you have planned? Traveling, volunteering with a charity, working in industry? What skills do you hope to gain?

WORD COUNT GUIDE 5%

SECTION 6 – CAREER GOAL

Where do you see yourself in 10 years’ time? This section is your chance to talk about your ambitions. Is this degree a direct path to the career you want? Where do you plan to go in life? And – just as importantly – why?

WORD COUNT GUIDE 10%

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tic! re s a i s thu rs a Be enions tutodents tu iss y, Admking for sof energ loo are full arted e who ot half-h n


WORD COUNT GUIDE 15%

WORD COUNT GUIDE 15%

SECTION 3 HOBBIES AND INTERESTS

SECTION 4 GAP YEAR

5%

15%

7 WORD COUNT GUIDE 10%

SECTI ON 5 ACHIE VEME NTS

10%

WORD COUNT GUIDE 10%

6 SECTION OAL CAREER G

10%


Go with the flow If you’ve been making notes, they possibly read like a disjointed list at the moment, but that’s fine. Now you can start to use the following tips to connect your sentences and paragraphs together. These handy words and phrases make the flow of your personal statement easier to read, as well as sounding more professionally written. But don’t just start throwing them all in willy-nilly. Think about the impression each one gives, and how you can use them most powerfully.

In addition

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my paid work “In addition to valuable have gained experience I ary work.” nt lu ut my vo ho ug ro th s ill sk

Strengthen “Seein

g the impa ct of the ba crisis in 20 nking 10 has str engthened my decisio n to study economics .”

Enabled me

to play in the “The opportunity am enabled me school football te of a team.” to work as part

As well a s

“As well as my in volveme games I nt in tea am also m keen on individu playing al comp etitive s port.”

Besides “Besides my involvement with sports, I am also actively involved in amateur dramatics.”

Provided me

“The wor k experie nce provid me with a ed n opportu nity to wo with a ra r k nge of pe ople.”

Reinforceschool

the ement in ed “My involv as reinforc h e m m ra g ro p a degree voluntary n to study my decisio .” in Nursing

More recen tly

“Although I have take n part in classical m usic conce rt s, more recently I h ave decide d to learn to play the pia no.”

Opportunity to

to work with “The opportunity work experience people during my was invaluable.”


It’s all me,

me,

me

Although your Personal Statement is, well, personal, beginning too many sentences with “I” is a sure-fire way to turn a reader off. In fact, it’s one of the most common pitfalls when writing about yourself. So when you come to edit, try to create more variety by starting your sentences in different ways.

“I” will blend into the crowd with these: I am Captain of the Hockey team… I enjoy playing sport… I am studying A levels in… I have taken part in… I have gained a number of skills…

But I’ll give myself the edge with these: Being Captain of the Hockey team has helped me… Having enjoyed playing football… My A level subjects have… Taking part in… The skills I’ve gained from…

Byouerself

Before you start just using these examples as they’re written, remember that your personal statement must be your own work. UCAS will be able to spot if it isn’t a mile off.

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First things first So you’ve got your notes and you’ve got ideas for how to make your sentences flow a bit better. Time to have a go at pulling them together into a first draft. Before you go into tortured genius mode and start agonising over every word, just remember that this version doesn’t need to be perfect. There’s plenty of time to edit, craft and polish once you have your rough first draft.

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Got your first draft? Good. Now take a break! You’ll find it a lot easier to see what’s working and what isn’t if you come back to it with fresh eyes. In the meantime, on the next few pages you’ll find an example of a personal statement before and after amendments so you’ll know what to do when you come back to yours.


A good start The following student has written a Personal Statement to support an application to read History This is an early draft which needs improving.

This is the personal statement: I enjoy History lessons so I have decided to pursue the subject at degree level.

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At university I look forward to examining a range of historical sources. I am particularly interested in French history and trips to France have broadened my historical awareness. As a school prefect I hold many responsibilities, including organising and attending school functions, delivering speeches to the school body and being an active member of the school council. Having played in school concerts with the keyboard orchestra when I was in year nine, I have recently taken up piano lessons. I am a keen sports player and I am a member of the school hockey team, netball team, the athletics squad and the volleyball team, earning me the “Sports Personality of the Year” award. I have taught information technology skills to younger students and helped a particular student to overcome language difficulties. I have organised sports days and Christmas parties for the elderly, and written, directed and performed a series of short plays. I have always enjoyed reading but more recently my ‘A’ level studies have enabled me to explore foreign literature. Currently, I am involved in the European Youth Parliament Competition in which I will be representing my school at a residential debating conference. The winner will represent the United Kingdom in Cyprus. This venture enhanced my general knowledge (specifically of genetic engineering and drug legislation).


PARAGRAPH

They start by explaining why they’ve chosen the degree but the statement could be stronger. It doesn’t feel like a very insightful reason behind their choice of degree. An explanation of why they enjoy History would be better.

PARAGRAPH

Each sentence tries to offer a different point. But the second sentence in this paragraph doesn’t really link the two points. When a longer sentence is used, both halves really need to work together to make your point strongly.

1 2

They refer to a position of responsibility (in this case, school prefect) and elaborate by giving examples of the duties they have. This helps create the impression of a student with varied interests. Giving examples of prefect duties is useful, but it would be better if they talked about the skills they’ve gained by doing them (e.g. public speaking, team working). PARAGRAPH

3

Although they keep references to musical experience concise, the student is writing about two different aspects of life here (school prefect duties and musical experience) and struggling to link them together. The common theme they have is participation. Focusing on this would help the paragraph feel a lot more logical. The reference to Year Nine isn’t really needed. It sounds like it was a long time ago, and references should be as recent as possible. Mentioning piano lessons is good, but it would be better if they explained what this hobby has taught them or shown why this information is relevant to their personal statement.

13 This is clearly an active and well-rounded individual, not just an academic. Mentioning team sports is good. Mentioning the skills gained from participating in them is even better.

PARAGRAPH

4

Referencing IT is good, but the admissions tutor will be wondering what they learnt about themselves. What skills have they used? Assisting other people presents another aspect of the student’s personality. It’s hard not to write “I” lots in a personal statement. But if you can avoid using one at the start of every sentence it will make your statement more enjoyable to read. The sentence about technology skills and overcoming language difficulties isn’t really explained, so is probably best left out. If you can’t explain something clearly in a small amount of words, leave it out.

PARAGRAPH

5

PARAGRAPH

6

If reading is enjoyable, it’s good to say so.

This is excellent – including a role in an academic competition, which involved public speaking. It’s better to be specific – the issue discussed in the competition is an interesting detail. They could definitely have gone further in talking about the competition, especially the skills they gained. It also feels like it’s missing a strong concluding statement that connects back to their choice of degree.


The finished product

So, after much reworking, head-scratching and pacing around the room, here’s the finished version. It doesn’t matter whether it takes 2 or 20 drafts, what matters is that it’s right.

This is the NEW personal statement:

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I have always been fascinated by the past, beginning with childhood interests in time-travel and mythology. This interest continued with student exchanges to France and Germany, which gave me the opportunity to study 18th Century French history and dictatorship and to widen my historical scope. A trip to France, where I studied issues relating to the World Wars confirmed my interest in History and my decision to pursue the subject at degree level. At University I look forward to analysing varied interpretations of history and the original sources upon which they are based. As a school prefect I have held many responsibilities such as organising school events, delivering speeches, and participating actively on the school council. The experience has taught me to use my own initiative and developed my skill of public speaking and diplomacy. I also involve myself fully with the school music performances. Having played in concerts with the keyboard orchestra, I have recently taken up piano lessons and gained a wider awareness of music, especially of Debussy and romanticism. Playing in various school sports teams has earned me several awards including that of “Sports Personality of the Year” and taught me the importance of communication, teamwork and self-reliance. Organising a series of plays and other events for the elderly was a fulfilling challenge. I also found that the experience of assisting younger pupils with IT and language development was extremely rewarding. I have always enjoyed reading, but more recently my ‘A’ level studies have enabled me to explore foreign literature. Brecht is particularly absorbing for his insight into the way people attempt to overcome the horrors of war. Currently, I am helping to produce a film for the European Student Travel Company concerning the career opportunities for young people in Europe. Also, I represented my school at national selection conference for the European Youth Parliament. This venture not only enhanced my general knowledge, but improved my teamwork, language and debating skills, which will be particularly useful for my course at university.

Now it’s time to make your mark If you think you’re ready, go back to your first draft and see how you can improve it. Good luck!


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Looking for more? For more tips on personal statement writing and applying to university, follow our Twitter feed: @StaffsAdvisors

Education Liaison Team Staffordshire University e: scl@staffs.ac.uk t: 01782 292773 www.staffs.ac.uk


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