OCTOBER 19, 2013 PA R E N T S W E E K E N D
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Your Best Advice “Try to be kinder.” —George Saunders
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his morning, I want to talk about the art of teaching and parenting by reflecting on what we all might call good advice. I am doing a yearlong exploration of responses to the question: “What’s the best piece of advice you ever received in your life?” I am interested in this question because answers reveal so much of what our mentors believe about life and what we, through experience, have learned to be true. As a teacher of literature, I am always on the lookout for moments of insight delivered by characters who somehow embody an author’s most passionate beliefs about the meaning of life. So let’s start with one of the best undergraduate convocation addresses given in 2013—George Saunders’ remarks at Syracuse University on kindness. He begins his talk with reflections on things he regrets in his life: In seventh grade, this new kid joined our class. In the interest of confidentiality, her Convocation Speech name will be “ELLEN.” ELLEN was small, shy. She wore these blue cat’s-eye glasses that, at the time, only old ladies wore. When nervous, which was pretty much always, she had a habit of taking a strand of hair into her mouth and chewing on it. So she came to our school and our neighborhood, and was mostly ignored, occasionally teased (“Your hair taste good?”—that sort of thing). I could see this hurt her. I still remember the way she’d look after such an insult: eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things, she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear. After awhile she’d drift away, hair-strand still in her mouth. At home, I imagined, after school, her mother would say, you know: “How was your day, sweetie?” and she’d say, “Oh, fine.” And her mother would say, “Making any friends?” and she’d go, “Sure, lots.” 10
