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How D Are Mass D
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Mr. Alva Baptiste: The self-declared president of the nonexistent Republic of Laborie spoke with an unusually heavy tongue at the last sitting of parliament.
JUNE 02, 2018 THE STAR
www.stluciastar.com
he recent exchange between newly appointed Speaker Andy Daniel and the make-believe President of the fictive Republic of Laborie might’ve been hilarious if not for the facts that once again the joke is on we the people and that repetition kills the soul. Back in the early 90s when John Compton and Julian Hunte were prime minister and opposition leader respectively, their back and forths tended less toward public affairs than with insights into their private lives. They were married to sisters equally devoted to their men, not to say similarly ambitious and competitive— even when they and their spouses were frontline members of the same political organization and referred to by local cynics as “Saint Lucia’s royal family.” Their nasty political divorce in the early 70s made headlines throughout the region and for several years guaranteed scandal insatiables their weekly fixes, served as often inside as outside the House. During one particular House debate the leader of the opposition seemed to go bananas when the prime
minister insinuated behind a devilish chuckle his relative by marriage was a one-trick pony yet to recognize the benefits of agricultural diversification. The response from the opposition leader’s chair was swift: “Oh yeah? Well, I know precisely how to diversify your damn bedroom!” From there it was only a small stoop to threatening to “break glass” in the prime ministerial ass! But that was nothing compared to the chaos of 1982, when Compton was leader of the opposition—his party having lost the 1979 elections. The nation’s latest prime minister Winston Cenac was pursuing the passage of a contentious House bill concerned with conflict of interest. The Allan LouisyGeorge Odlum leadership quarrel had forced the former judge Louisy to step down as prime minister in favor of his attorney general. An MP on the government side was delivering his contribution to the day’s debate when a fellow honorable gentleman jumped to his feet, his eyes fired up with hate. “If you don’t shut up,” he hollered, “I’ll shoot from the hip and make shit come out of your
mouth.” The unforgettable House session ended with the Speaker taking refuge in his office while in the chamber pandemonium reigned. In the presence of hapless House security the sacrosanct Mace was tossed around for several minutes while frothy-mouthed MPs hurled stomach-turning epithets at one another. In more recent times MPs associated with the Labour Party opposition defied a cowering former schoolmarm turned Speaker who did not agree with the opposition leader’s interpretation of “as soon as convenient.” With his fulminating followers in tow, he finally stormed out of the chamber, all the while denouncing those still seated in the chamber, the lady Speaker included, as “criminals, renegades and money launderers!” The last House sitting three weeks or so ago was according to the Order Paper convened for the purposes of a bill related to education. But even before the process got underway it was pretty obvious mischief was afoot. The signals were all over the Internet. For one, not so subtle appeals to know-thyself parties to congregate in white tee shirts outside the parliament building, in silent
