Everything Happens for a Reason: The Song In Your Heart
Everything Happens for a Reason: The Song in Your Heart Book One
Nicole bourdon 1
Nicole L. Bourdon
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Everything Happens for a Reason: The Song In Your Heart
Everything Happens for a Reason: The Song In Your Heart Book One
Nicole L. Bourdon
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Nicole L. Bourdon
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Everything Happens for a Reason: The Song In Your Heart
Š 2013 Nicole Bourdon All Rights Reserved No part of this novel, either whole or in part, may be reproduced by any means. Using this for commercial use without written permission from the author is prohibited. Beautiful, Wondeful and How Can I Find Me written by Sarah Oldland and used with permission. All rights remain with her. Journey, A Needle in a Haystack, Shattered, and Two Minus One written by Nicole Bourdon. All rights remain with me.
Cover Image: Nicole Bourdon, Afton Hanson, Myranda Bourdon, and Melinda Shelton. Picture copyright Nicole Bourdon. Back: Image of "Prelude in F" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
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Dedicated to my great-grandmother, Alice Louise Trost Smith Writing was yours first
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Everything Happens for a Reason: The Song In Your Heart
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CONTENTS
Chapter One Fame and fortune - 11 Chapter Two A little here and there - 29
Chapter Three Family: can't live with them, can't live without them - 39
Chapter Four Christmas above and below - 94 Chapter Five New Year possibilities - 105
Chapter Six Just out of reach - 128
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Everything Happens for a Reason: The Song In Your Heart
Chapter Seven When one door another opens - 145
closes
Chapter Eight dallin Lonewell - 162 Chapter Nine The first step - 184 Chapter Ten After all these years - 202
Chapter Eleven Big crowds and hurt feelings - 240 Chapter Twelve International superstar - 288
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Chapter Thirteen What brings us together - 330
Chapter Fourteen Hurt and healing - 356 Acknowledgments About the Author
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Chapter One
Fame and fortune
T
orrey pulled back her long, red hair. She was not only
new to this school, but also to the culture it represented: money. Unlike most people in this school, she wasn’t rich. Her father worked as a mechanic. Her parents were always pleased with her and felt she needed to succeed to the highest she could. Their plans involved sending her to this new and elite school. She didn’t feel like she fit in here, but she was hoping to find at least one person that would give her the time of day. Surely not all people had to be rich jerks. She got her first douse of exactly what this school was about when she went to lunch. She walked passed a girl with 12
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long, blond hair. She didn’t know why, but she was scowling at her. She couldn’t think of anything she did to make her hate her. They hadn’t even met. The blond girl suddenly stuck her foot out to trip her. She went down, her books going everywhere. “Whoops,” the blonde girl said with a smirk. “My bad. I hope you’ll forgive me.” Torrey could tell she wasn’t sorry, because she and all her friends were snickering. She told herself she wouldn’t give her what she wanted, so she got right back up and didn’t even look back as she headed to the lunch line. She was going to make friends here, and she was going to avoid snotty people like her. She grabbed a tray and began to nervously play with her red hair. She was a very sweet girl with freckles and a million dollar smile. She didn’t understand why no one seemed interested in being her friend. Surely there had to be someone here who wasn’t a rich snob. She knew there were plenty of other people here by scholarship. Where were they? She went to grab a piece of cheesecake but didn’t realize someone else was going to grab it to. She quickly pulled away, and so did he. “Sorry,” he told her with a smile. His eyes were a brilliant blue, and she felt she could get lost in them. He was fairly tall, with a really nice smile and brown hair. She wondered if he was the answer she was looking for. “It’s fine,” she said with a smile back. “I didn’t see you there.” They both then grabbed a piece of cheesecake, just not the same one. “I’m Torrey, by the way,” she told him. “Torrey Sanders.” “I’m Zac Lonewell. You’ll probably see me around.” 13
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But before she could ask if she could sit by him she saw that same girl come up, but with a nice smile this time. “Hey, Zac,” she said with a wink. Zac waved back as if he liked her. Torrey sighed, realizing he was just like her. She gave up hope as she headed to sit alone. This school wasn’t for her. “The king has arrived,” Zac joked as he sat down by his best friend. His best friend, Pete, rolled his eyes. “If anyone’s the king it’s me. I mean who else can beat you at basketball?” “You beat me once. That doesn’t mean you can always beat me. Don’t get cocky.” Pete laughed as they both ate their food. Pete was African American, and his father was the governor of Rhode Island. It was natural he and Zac would end up friends. They had known each other since they were little, and they were next door neighbors. “So are you excited for the big game on Friday?” Pete asked. “I know I am. I’m totally pumped. And the coach is going to say who’s going to represent our school for the Youth MVP of the Year thing. I know it’s going to be you. No one else on the team can even come close to how good you are.” Zac wasn’t listening. He was too busy staring at a couple another table away from them. “Do you still like Molly? I thought you were over here. I mean she’s dating Brad. Surely you’ve figured out by now she’s not really picky about who she dates. You deserve better. Besides, she’s kind of a jerk.” “I know,” Zac sighed. “Well, about her dating Brad. But she just needs to know how a true boyfriend would treat her. She’s a pretty girl who probably has a low self-esteem. 14
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I’m not saying that in a bad way. I just mean she needs to the chance to see she can do better.” “They make-out,” Pete said in disgust. “Do you really want to kiss a girl that made out with Brad? Think about it.” Zac rolled his eyes. “You sound stupid, Pete. He kissed her is all. It’s the same as kissing a girl who’s already kissed a guy before. The other guy doesn’t matter.” Pete shook his head, not agreeing with him. “Well, I should go. I swear Mrs. Leethlam hates me,” Zac sighed. “I have to turn in a paper from when I was sick, and she hasn’t been very nice about it. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.” Pete smiled as he left, Zac hoping she was in a good mood today. Zac left to go home with a smile on his face. He loved going to this school. It just made him feel that much smarter when he brought home a good report card. He started up his car, turned on some music, and then added some shades. Today had been a good, good day. Now if he could only get Molly to dump that idiot Brad and find someone more suitable for her. Surely she saw he had potential. Brad’s dad might have been an actor, but his father was even more to brag about. He was sure that was why Brad hated him so much. “Zac!” he heard someone shout through his music. He turned it off and slowly rolled down his window, knowing exactly who it was. “Yes, Kyle?” he asked with mock to his voice. Kyle gave him a look, clearly not appreciating it. “Why do you always conveniently forget you’re supposed to take me home, even though you’ve been doing it all year?” “I can’t be blamed for my bad memory,” Zac said innocently. “It’s something I get from dad.” 15
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“Dad can go up and sing tons of songs in front of millions of people, not forgetting a single word. You can’t even remember a DAILY ROUTINE.” “Did I say dad? I meant mom.” Kyle gave him a look, and Zac suddenly wished he hadn’t brought her up. He should really think before he says things. “Just get in,” Zac mumbled. Kyle walked to the other side of his car and opened the passenger door. He climbed in, still giving Zac a look. At first glance you wouldn’t assume Zac and Kyle were brothers. Zac had a long face, while Kyle had a wide face. Kyle also had blond hair and green eyes. They didn’t look much alike and certainly didn’t act anything alike. In fact, most days they didn’t even claim the other one as their brother. They kind of just went around telling people they didn’t know each other, even though they had the same last name. Most people figured it out and just decided they didn’t get along, while others were sure they weren’t related. Zac was speeding a bit, causing Kyle to get nervous. “Slow done,” Kyle barked. “Remember what dad said about you not getting another car if you get into an accident. Do you really want to lose this?” “Dad says a lot of things. I know him well enough to know he doesn’t always mean what he says.” Kyle shook his head and stared out the window. Zac was his father’s favorite. It wasn’t his fault they hadn’t lived together all his life. The person he had once called his father abandoned him, leaving his actual father to take the slack. He knew he loved him, but Zac definitely had an edge. It wasn’t fair. Plus Zac was older. They were a year and a half apart, but the way Zac acted you would think he was five years older and 16
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therefore could boss Kyle around. He also thought Zac was stuck up, and it was just getting worse. But he didn’t care. Maybe if he went over the edge enough he would become his father’s new favorite. They pulled up in their driveway and both came out of the car. “We got report cards today,” Zac said with pride. Kyle nodded. He was aware. “I bet you got some C’s, and maybe some D’s,” Zac said with a smirk. “It’s so sad dad pays for you to go to a private school yet you never seem to convince him his money was well spent.” “Shut up, Zac,” Kyle mumbled. “I might not be smart like you, but at least I’m not a jerk.” “I am not a jerk,” he said in outrage. “You’re the only person who can bring out the worst in me. I’m the nicest person ever to everyone else.” Kyle shook his head, not believing it. They both walked in the door and Zac was immediately ambushed by a little girl. “Zac, you’re home,” she said excitingly. Zac patted her on the head, not really being in the mood. This was cute the first few times, but after that it was just annoying. “Good to see you, Lorie,” he said with a fake smile. Lorie had long, blonde hair and was the cutest threeyear-old in the world. She and Zac didn’t look much alike, and that was because she was only his half-sister. Zac seemed to be her favorite. She was obsessed with him. He headed to his room as his stepmother Carrie came out and gave him a smile. “Welcome home, Zac,” she greeted him. 17
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Zac nodded, not seeming to really care, and headed upstairs. Kyle mumbled something under his breath and did the same. “Don’t be so grumpy, Kyle,” Carrie said with a smile. “A bad day means a better day tomorrow.” Kyle just sighed, knowing Carrie was the nicest person in the world and always had inspiring words of advice. How he ever ended up in a family with a famous father that actually gave people hope for the media and a stepmother that was the nicest person in the world he would never know. Carrie picked Lorie up in her arms. She was such a sweet girl, and looked just like her. Carrie had medium long, blond hair and a sweet smile. She was very tiny, but that was mostly because she had to watch what she ate. If she got fat it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it might cause some raised eyebrows being how famous her husband was. He always told her it didn’t matter what they thought, but he worked out in the gym daily, so she didn’t see how he could talk. He was so famous the paparazzi practically stocked them. It was really annoying most days. Zac spent the evening shooting some hoops. He made it in every time, smiling as he went along. “There’s no way the coach can deny me of this,” he said out loud. “He would be stupid with how good I am.” Zac was distracted when a white Maserati pulled into the driveway. He shook his head, wishing he could have a car that nice. He shouldn’t complain because he got a really nice car for his sixteenth birthday a few months ago, but it was still hard knowing his father had more than one car like that. “Hello, Zac,” his father said with a smile as he came up. Zac nodded back, and then went back to shooting. His 18
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father went inside and he followed after shooting a few more hoops. He came in and saw Michael smiling, talking to Carrie. “Guess what is officially on iTunes?” he asked her. “Your new song?” Carrie asked. “Yep,” he replied. “Over a million downloads within the first day. I tell you, Carrie, I’m too popular for my own good.” She laughed and then gave him a kiss. “Well, Michael, who wouldn’t like you?” He gave her a kiss back as Zac made a face and headed upstairs. His father was a country singer. He didn’t like country. It was boring and always about the same thing. He tried to be supportive with his father, but sometimes it was hard. He didn’t even have any of his music on his iPod, as sad as that sounded. His little sister was waiting for him by his door, but it wasn’t Lorie. She was a little girl of eleven, with long, brown hair and a mischievous smile. “Hello, Emily,” Zac said with a look. “What are you up to?” “Absolutely nothing,” she replied. “I just felt like standing here.” Zac didn’t believe her. Although they looked more alike than him and Kyle did, they were only stepsiblings. Emily seemed to enjoy pulling pranks on him and making his life difficult. If you asked she would deny she liked Zac, but deep down she loved him and she couldn’t bear to live without him. Zac came into his room but didn’t see anything out of place. He hoped Emily was just trying to scare him. He attempted to turn on his computer but then realized it was already on. He sighed when he saw a little note on the desktop 19
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that said, “Hi, Zac. From, Emily.” Zac shook his head, but otherwise blew it off. She had done MUCH worse before. He could hear her and his other sister playing something in their room. “He has to go to school, Miranda,” he heard Emily say. “If he doesn’t he’ll end up stupid.” Zac wasn’t surprised he didn’t hear Miranda say anything. She was a very ‘keep to herself’ type of person. Technically she was his full sister, but she was adopted not too long ago. They had the same parents, but only by law. Of course he considered her his sister, but she didn’t really talk a lot and she spent most of her time with Emily. They were around the same age, although Miranda had blonde hair. Not more than twenty minutes later Carrie called for dinner. Zac always felt foolish saying he lived with someone famous and they had family meals. But what was even more foolish was saying how many siblings he had. Counting just the ones on his father’s side, he had five. How many celebrities had six children? His father was like the country rebel. Of course through divorce and remarriage they were a mixed family, but they all lived together so it was still kind of crazy. Zac headed downstairs with the rest of the family. Emily and Miranda always sat next to each other, Lorie always sat next to her parents, Michael and Carrie always sat together, and Kyle always waited until after Zac sat down so he could be as far away from him as possible. Then the last one, Tyler, came down. Tyler looked a lot like Zac and his father. He was his half-brother, but they weren’t close at all. They were almost ten years apart, being Tyler was only seven. Tyler hadn't spoken a word to date. They weren’t sure why. He kept to himself and only associated when he absolutely had to. Family dinners were mandatory according to Carrie, so he couldn’t get out of them. He took a 20
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seat next to Zac, looking like he would rather be doing anything else. “Tonight we’re having chicken,” Carrie told them like this was the most exciting thing in the world. “And your father has some news.” “Journey became a top seller,” he said with pride. He was looking at Zac as he said it. Zac had told him he needed to spice it up a bit, because it was too slow and dull sounding. Michael had blown him off and told him he didn’t understand what it meant to be a country artist. This was kind of an ‘I told you so’ moment. “I knew it would,” Emily said happily. “Anything you write becomes popular, dad.” Michael smiled at her. Emily was a huge fan of his music, and was convinced she would become famous herself someday. Michael never shot her down but felt she couldn’t sing, so he wasn’t sure how well that would work out. Of course she still had time to hit puberty. Perhaps she would get better. “I have some news as well,” Zac said with a smirk. “Our report cards came today,” he said as he smirked in Kyle’s direction. Kyle gave him a look, annoyed he had brought it up over dinner. He didn’t want the entire family to know how stupid he was. “Well, that’s great, Zac,” Carrie said, seeing the look on Kyle’s face. “I’m sure you did great. We’ll have to look at it after dinner.” Zac didn’t like that idea while Kyle was relieved. He could always count on Carrie saving the day if she could. Sometimes it was nice, other times it was annoying. 21
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“Well, fine,” he mumbled, "but I have my big game on Friday.” He looked to his father as he said it, trying to hint something. Michael just nodded. “That’s great, Zac.” Zac sighed. “Would it kill you to be a normal, supportive parent? Basketball means the world to me.” “Zac, you know that’s a bad idea,” Michael said with a look. “I’m famous. If I showed up to a high school basketball game what do you think would happen?” Zac sat back in his chair, having heard this speech many times before. “The crowd would go insane and forget they were there supporting the team. It would turn into a huge disaster and I would ruin the night for you. You know this. I’m sorry, alright.” “Zac, I can still come, you know,” Carrie said with a smile. “I know it wouldn’t be the same as your father, but I could tell him all about it.” Zac shook his head. Carrie was nice and all, but she was only his stepmother. He wanted his father to finally see what he loved about basketball and all that he could do. He had his music, but Zac had other things. Sometimes he hated having a famous father. “Well, I’ve decided I’m going to sing in the school talent show,” Emily said with a smile. “Auditions are next week.” “That’s wonderful, honey,” Carrie said with a smile. “I’m sure you’ll do great.” Zac didn’t think she had all that good of a voice, but he would be dead if he told her that. Once dinner was over Zac went back upstairs. He spent the rest of the night thinking of his big game. He couldn’t lose. This was the final game of the season, and his chance to prove himself worthy of representing his school for 22
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the Youth MVP of the year. He was the assistant captain, after all. Of course there was always the captain, but Zac wasn’t worried about him one bit. Come Friday Zac was pumped for the big game. He got dressed and then met up with Pete outside the locker room. “Are you ready?” Pete asked him. “I was born ready,” Zac said with a smile as they both headed outside. But they were interrupted from their thought process when someone they really didn’t like came behind them. “Hey, Lonewell. Hey, Mongon,” he said with a smirk. “Can we help you, Brad?” Zac asked as he looked back at him. Brad had dark brown hair and a face that could make any girl want him. He thought he ruled the school because his father was a famous actor. The only person in this school that could give him a run for his money was Zac, and that was why he hated him so much. “I just wanted to wish you guys luck. I mean we’re all on the same team and I want to win just as much as you do. As the team captain it’s my job to make sure you guys feel good for a game.” Zac shook his head. How Brad became the captain he never knew. He sucked and couldn’t even make a single shot. All he was good for was passing the ball and getting them a lot of fouls. He assumed the coach was a fan of his father. It’s the only explanation he could come up with. But the coach knew Zac was much better than Brad, so that was why he was made the assistant team captain. Zac was angry at first, but had since learned to accept it since he did most of the bossing around anyway. Brad thought he could boss people around, but no one really took him seriously. 23
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“This is it, boys,” their coach said as they all gathered around. “If we can win this, we’ve kicked off the season great.” The boys all smiled as they looked around. This was what they had been training for. They all wanted to win this so badly. “Keep the fouls down and make some hoops,” the coach said. “We’re playing a school that’s not known for sports, so I think we stand a good chance. If all else fails, pass the ball to Zac.” Zac smiled as Brad looked at him in annoyance. Zac NEVER missed a shot. If he shot for a goal, it was sure to make it. During really bad games their strategy was to pass the ball to him and most of the time they won unless they were just too far behind. Zac loved basketball, and had earned his talent for it by practicing all the time when he was younger, and now he practiced almost every day. Basketball meant everything to him. “Now let’s get out there and sting those beavers,” the coach said as they all cheered. “Tonight we have the William Leavis Preparatory High Bumblebees vs. the Johnston High Beavers,” the announcer said over the crowd. They positioned themselves on the court, and Zac never felt more alive. He knew they were going to win this. They couldn’t possibly lose. The first of the game involved a lot of passing and throwing a few hoops. Zac made most of the shots, feeling on top of the world. The other school wasn’t great but they were certainly giving them a challenge. By time halftime they were a bit behind, and Zac wasn’t happy. He was mostly annoyed at Brad, since he 24
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seemed to be hurting the team rather than helping them. He sucked at defense, but he was even worse when he actually got the ball. All he really did was run around the court, occasionally getting the ball and missing a shot. Zac couldn’t afford for Brad to mess this up. This was the final game of the season. “I know we’re behind,” the coach said nervously. “But we can still catch up. We just need to work hard and throw them off their game.” “Here’s an idea,” Zac said as he gave Brad a cold look. “How about we avoid passing the ball to Brad or relying on him for anything?” “You’re just jealous because I’m getting more glory than you. You can’t handle watching someone else succeed. If it’s not you who’s winning something suddenly you hate what you’re doing.” “We’ll have none of that, boys,” the coach scolded. “Zac, we’re all a team here. There’s no doubt you’re good, but you need to realize you’re not alone. Brad is just as much a part of the team as you are.” Zac wanted to say if his father wasn’t famous he wouldn’t be on the team at all, but then kept his mouth shut. Even being the water boy might be too much for Brad to handle. “Now get out there and take back this game.” They all put their hands together in unison and then headed out to the court. Zac kept telling himself there was still a chance. He couldn’t give up now. In the next twenty minutes he scored plenty of shots, but it didn’t really do as much as he had hoped since they were behind. Once the last two minutes of the game hit everyone 25
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was nervous. Zac decided he couldn’t let them lose this, so he gave it all he had. He ended up scoring a few last minute points, making them tied. Everyone had new hope now. They just had to win this game now that they were tied. It was the last two minutes, and everyone was hoping two minutes would be enough to take the lead. It all came down to this. The ball started to get passed. First it was passed to Pete, then to another member of their team, and then to Brad. Zac motioned for him to pass him the ball as he got in position. He was just the place he needed to be to score a point and win this game. Brad seemed to stare down at the ball rather than pass it. Zac got frustrated. Was he seriously going to cost them this game? Zac watched in silence as Brad decided rather than passing it he was going to make the shot. Zac felt he could have made that shot if he really tried, but there was no way Brad would make it. But Zac was in shock when Brad actually did make it. But then it took him a second to realize he didn’t make it for them… Zac was in shock, wondering if Brad honestly did something that stupid. He stared up at the scoreboard as the buzzer went off, watching the wrong side go up in number. He then turned to Brad with an evil look. The rest of the team had the same idea, but Brad was too busy gloating to notice. “Did you just see that?” Brad asked them all, not noticing their faces. “You all think I’m nothing but a pretty boy who can’t play. Well, I just made a point.” “Brad,” Zac said, trying to keep his temper. “You’re aware there are two sides of a court, right?” he asked. Brad smirked, still not getting it. “Well, of course I know that, idiot. And our side won.” 26
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“You threw the ball in the wrong hoop, moron!” one of the team members shouted. Zac smiled at him, glad someone finally said it. Brad did a double take. “What?” he asked as he looked to the hoop he threw it in. Now he looked rather embarrassed, and the team was still fuming. “Well, we all make mistakes. At least I actually got the ball in the hoop.” Zac sat down, frustrated and not wanting to deal with Brad anymore. They were this close! If Brad had only let go of his pride and passed the ball to him they would all be cheering right now. How was he the team captain? It was so wrong. The coach gathered them all together, looking just as upset as they were about the whole thing but trying not to show it. “Well, it’s a shame we didn’t win,” he said rather low. “But there’s always next year. I’d say we’ve had a good season and can learn from this.” “I’ve learned Brad should be kicked off the team,” Zac mumbled. The coach gave him a look. “We’re not pointing fingers, Zac. I’m just saying we’re not going to win every game. We just have to learn to accept that. Now, I have an announcement that should cheer you all up. When we come back home after winter break the annual Youth MVP of the year completion starts. One representative is chosen from every school to go. If we win there’s a huge cash prize and a trophy involved. It was a tough decision, but I've finally chosen someone to go.” Zac got excited. He couldn’t possibly deny him. He's scored so many points for them this year and he’s spent hours out of practice making himself better. This was his year. “This person has dedication, talent, and of course understands who they represent and even though they’re going 27
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alone they’re still part of a team.” Zac smiled, thinking of himself. “And that person is: Brad Thomas.” Everyone looked a bit shocked, and Brad stood up taller, looking ready to brag. Zac was outraged. He just stared, unable to comprehend this. He chose Brad over him? Of all the team members to think was better than him, Brad? “Thank you,” Brad said with a smile. “You can count on me winning. I know I’ve made some mistakes, but I’m going to redeem them. Our school can’t lose. Well, do I get a clap?” he asked when everyone continued to stare. They all clapped, although it was rather weak. Zac just sat there with his arms folded, looking like he would strangle Brad if he could. “Don’t feel bad, Zac,” Brad said as he gave Zac a sympathetic look. “I mean there’s always next year.” Pete had to hold Zac back from lurching at him. “Enough,” the coach barked. “The last thing I need is a fight breaking out. Now go home. It’s just another two weeks before winter break. First you’ll have to deal with finals, and then you’ll get three weeks to yourself.” The boys all slowly started to leave, and once Brad was distracted by a pretty cheerleader on the other side Zac went up to the coach. “How could you choose Brad over me?” he asked. “I work really hard, and I’m really good. I've scored tons of points for our school and you know if I went I would stand a chance at doing pretty good. You told me last year I wasn’t quite old enough to go. Now I’m plenty old enough. Brad can’t even score a point, and when he does he scores the wrong one.” The coach sighed. “Zac, you’re definitely good, and I know you work hard, but I consider all the students equal. You’re very cocky because you’re so good and sometimes I 28
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feel you forget you’re part of a team. You think you can handle everything on your own.” “That’s not true. But even if it was it doesn’t matter because the whole point of this thing is to work alone. I could win.” “What’s the good in winning if you forget you didn’t do it alone? I needed someone who understood that.” “Brad is ten times worse than me when it comes to bragging about his own abilities, and he doesn’t even have anything to brag about.” “Zac, I’m sorry, alright, but I’ve made my choice. Just learn to accept it.” “Did Brad pay you off?” he accused. The coach stared at him in disbelief. “Of course not, Zac. Now I suggest you leave before I get the principal involved.” Zac shook his head and walked away. He was lying. He knew he was lying. Brad paid him off to both go to this thing and be the team captain. It would only make sense considering Brad had no talent of his own. When Zac got home Carrie seemed to sense something was wrong. “What’s wrong, Zac?” she asked as she came and sat down on the couch with him. “How did the game go?” “Not only did we lose, but Brad was chosen for the Youth MVP of the Year thing over me.” “Honey, I’m so sorry,” she said as she put her arm around him. “But you know you’re good at basketball. You just need to remember it’s not about winning of losing, but enjoying the sport itself. You can’t win everything, as much as you would like to.” “But he totally paid him off. I should have gone.” “You don’t know that.” 29
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“Oh, I know that.” She sighed and then gave him a smile as he pulled away from her arm. She shook her head and got up off the couch. “You are so stubborn, Zac. Just like your father,” she mumbled as she walked out of the room.
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Chapter Two
A little here and there
A
week later Michael seemed rushed and panicked,
and Carrie didn’t look much better. “Do you think we should hire a maid or something?” Michael asked Carrie. “I mean, your mother always was picky about how clean the house was.” “Are you saying I don’t do a good enough job?” Carrie asked in outrage. “Of course not, Carrie. This is just a very big house and you can’t get everywhere even if you tried. Besides, since you insist on making every little thing for the dinner you won’t have time to clean the house.” 31
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“My mother will deal. She just needs to learn not everything is going to be perfect, and I think we do a pretty good job for everything we have to deal with. She just doesn’t understand.” “Well, I’m more nervous about my family,” Michael mumbled. “Do you think I should bring out the fine China, or will that just be bragging?” Carrie sighed. “Michael, you don’t need to prove anything to your family.” “What do you mean? I just thought they might like to eat on something nice.” “Every year you go out of your way to make sure you show off to them. I understand why, but those days are over. They know you have a lot of money and are doing well for yourself. You’re famous, Michael. You don’t need to prove anything to them.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Michael repeated. Carrie sighed and then began cleaning the counters, knowing they would just get dirty again before the party. This party always made them both stressed. Both of their parents certainly had their issues, although Michael had more to do with his past than Carrie’s. Zac had been up in his room all week studying. Maybe he liked to gloat about his great grades to Kyle, but he earned them. Kyle was also studying, but tended to get frustrated after the first couple hours and then chucked his textbook across the room. “Stupid homework,” he mumbled as he threw it against the wall. “I get to go to some elite school without having to worry about getting good grades and all I do is bring home D report cards. What’s wrong with me?” 32
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Michael had told him plenty of times he wasn’t upset by his grades and nothing was wrong with him. “I never got that great of grades when I was in high school, Kyle,” Michael had told him. “I barely graduated. Not that I’m saying you should be like me, but just try your best and if you can’t do any better than you can still go to any college you can get into. I have plenty of money. You just have to try.” Kyle sighed and then stared at the ceiling, wondering how everything got like this. How did he end up here? Of course he knew the answer, but he didn’t like it. His mother left both him and Zac, and she wasn’t going to come around. He wished he was wrong, but he knew it was true. His mother was always so sweet, but then she just acted like she never cared. He didn’t understand it, but he didn’t know that there was anything to do about it. They seemed kind of stuck. Zac walked into his closet. Well, he had two of them, but this one was his trophy closet and the other one was actually for clothes and other normal closet things. It was like a small room filled with tons of trophies. Most of them were for basketball, but there were a few ribbons for different things and a few small trophies from when he was little. Hanging over one of the trophies was a necklace. It was given to him when he won that national decathlon last year. He didn’t really want to go, but his teacher had offered him extra credit and he really needed it. It was nice to prove that someone could be both athletic and smart, though. He smiled at all his trophies, telling himself it didn’t matter what anyone had ever said about him because he was all-around talented. He tried to convince himself the coach was majorly missing out by sending Brad instead of him and he would see that soon enough when Brad totally ruined it for 33
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their school. Zac’s eyes stopped at a folded up piece of paper. He shook his head, wondering why he never bothered to move that. He guessed he just didn’t have the heart to pick it up after reading it only one time. “She doesn’t love me,” he mumbled as he walked out and back into his room. “Ten years is a long time.” He ate lunch with Pete the next day. “I’m so sorry the coach chose Brad over you,” he told him. “I mean the entire team agreed you would have been the best person to go. We’re all pretty sure Brad paid the coach off or something, and that's really just horrible. But we all know you’re good and next year the coach can’t possibly choose anyone over you. Well, unless he just hates you. I’m not really sure at this point.” “Yeah, well, that’s life,” Zac mumbled. “It doesn’t always work out the way you planned.” “Oh, come on; cheer up. I mean Christmas is only a few weeks away. Who doesn’t like Christmas? Plus your father is famous, so you always get spoiled like crazy.” “So do you,” Zac pointed out. “I’m not saying I don’t. You have it nicer than most teenagers. I’m just saying you should feel lucky and enjoy Christmas. Did you hear I’ll be coming for New Years?” “Really?” Zac asked in surprise. “Yeah. Carrie invited us to a New Year’s party. My mother seemed excited about it.” “Any chance your father will show up?” Pete sighed. “Not likely.” “Well, we’ve known each other forever but I’ve never met your father, even though he’s supposed to live with you. It’s kind of sad.” “I agree. But like you said, life’s just life.” 34
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Zac suddenly felt bad for bringing it up. Pete would never bring up his mother. He knew that was suicidal, but he knew the story so he didn’t really have to ask. “So what are you doing for Christmas?” Pete asked. “Our annual family Christmas party,” Zac said a little disdainfully. “Let’s just say some of us like each other and some of us don’t. Sometimes we all get along fine if certain people keep their mouth shut, and other times it just turns into a big mess and someone leaves early. I hope that doesn’t happen this year.” Pete nodded. “Well, I’m going to my grandmother’s house. Since my father’s never home my mother always feels like going to our grandmother’s house is better than just staying at home for Christmas with just her.” “Your father doesn’t even come home for Christmas?” “He says he’s the governor and the state doesn’t shut down for Christmas. But it’s my father. Considering I’ve only talked to him in person a handful of times in the last five years I would say he doesn’t have very good priorities.” “You’ve talked to him more than I’ve talked to my mother,” Zac mumbled. “Why don’t you try calling her? I mean I know it’s been a while, but a phone call can’t hurt.” “Even if I had her number I wouldn’t. She hasn’t seen me since I was five.” “Well, you still have Carrie.” Zac sighed. He was right, but she could never replace the woman that gave birth to him. He wondered what ever became of his mother, and if she ever thought about him. [][][][][][][][][][][][][][] 35
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As Mark packed boxes and boxes of noodles into the carrying boxes he sighed. It was just another day of non-stop work. It was just another day he couldn’t wait to get home. At least he had something there. With most of the workers being replaced by machines, he knew he should feel lucky he at least had a job. But he had been working here for over ten years. He really needed a change in scenery. So much had changed in the past year, and now he felt he needed a new job. But as a thirtyyear-old man with hardly any work experience other than this place and a few fast food places when he was a teenager, plus a GED in which he barely got, he knew he wouldn’t be a first choice to get hired. And any job he could get probably wouldn’t pay as much as this one did. This one certainly didn’t pay enough, but it was better than nothing. He didn’t have a car, so he headed to the bus stop after work. He was hot and sweaty and knew his wife would make him get in the shower before cuddling with her tonight. But at least he had a wife. That happened recently, and before then he felt he was destined to be alone. Amy was the best thing that had ever happened to him. As he sat on the bus he heard the radio very faintly over the sounds of the people on the bus. He recognized Michael Lonewell, a famous country singer that had hit the top charts many times. “I bet Michael Lonewell has it all,” he mumbled out loud. The lady next to him turned to him, giving him a weird look. He pretended as if he hadn't said anything, and then she went back to her magazine. Mark wondered how it would be to have that much fame and money. His life must have been perfect. He came home and smiled at his wife. She gave him a smile back but made no attempt to hug him. He knew why. She hated how he smelled after he got back from work. He 36
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wished he could somehow take a shower before he got back so he could be greeted by her arms going around him. After a long day of work that was always exactly what he needed. “Hello, Mark,” Amy said with a smile. “How was work?” “Same as it always is, I suppose,” he mumbled. “Well, I don’t have the best job in the world either, so don't feel picked on.” Mark nodded, knowing she worked as a substitute teacher but didn’t really like it. She complained the students were always a jerk to her and seemed to test how far she would go. But it paid decently, and although she had the chance to get an offer every day she could choose when she didn’t want to work. It was nice since Mark always worked well into the evening and she could be there in case one of the children needed her without having to be a stay at home mother. Although Mark and Amy were married, they had only been married for a short time and they didn’t have any children of their own together. They were a mixed family, and if it didn’t work out they could just go their separate ways without having to worry about a custody battle. Amy was in the process of making dinner. Mark watched her as she pulled back a strand of hair behind her ear. She had medium long, blond hair and brilliant blue eyes. He loved her eyes. Mark had short, dark hair and brown eyes. Mark decided to take his chances and came up behind her to give her a hug. “Mark,” she said as she tried to get away from his grasp. “You smell like wet dog. Go take a shower and then come and hug me.”
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He sighed. “Did it ever occur to you I would love to get a hug or a kiss from my wife when I get home like a normal guy?” “Yeah, well, normal guys don’t come home smelling like wet dog.” He gave her a look. “Can I at least have a kiss?” he asked. She sighed and then gave him a simple one. He felt she wasn’t really into it and shook his head as he headed down the hallway. “Some kiss,” he mumbled. She rolled her eyes and continued to cook. She hated being anywhere near him when he got home from work. But she admired him for working a job like that, because she certainly couldn’t do it. She would have to make it up to him by giving him a real kiss later tonight. At least he would smell better. A couple hours later they were finishing up dinner. There wasn’t much talking being done, because Amy wasn’t one to do a lot of talking and the boys did a little too much of it. Except at dinner their mouths were full of food. They really liked food, being that they didn’t have a lot of money and meals times were about the only times they could eat. There was a slight knock at the door and then a teenager no older than sixteen stepped in and gave them a smile. It was their neighbor, Danielle. She preferred to be here than home and oftentimes came here after work. She had long, dark hair with a slight wave to it. She also had a bright smile and was the sweetest girl ever. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” she said. “Not at all, Danielle,” Amy said with a smile. “We're just finishing up, but if you’re hungry feel free to help yourself. We always have plenty of noodles.” 38
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Danielle laughed, knowing Mark worked at a noodle factory. “I’m good. But thank you. I actually just wanted to show John some drawings.” John gave her a smile and then finished up the last of his food. Jason seemed a bit irritated by this, feeling as though it was him Danielle should have liked. Although she would argue until she was blue in the face that she didn’t like John, Jason had a hard time believing that. Him and his twin brother, Josh, we’re the same age as her and it had been him who had first introduced himself when they first moved in. John was almost a full two years younger than her, so he didn’t see why she would ever like him. She and Jason sat down, and she pulled out some drawings. “You know you’re my best art person, John,” she said with a smile. She pulled out a picture of a drooping flower and showed it to him. “I like it,” he told her. “I love the detail on the pedals, and you totally have this shadow thing down.” She smiled as he pointed to all the little things. John was alright at art, but he was far from an expert. He just knew some things about it. Jason came up and pulled out a magazine of some sort that was sticking out from under her binder. “Hey,” she said as he grabbed it. He laughed when he saw it was one of those celebrity magazines, and Michael Lonewell was on the front cover. “It’s your celebrity crush, Danielle,” he teased. “I don’t like Michael Lonewell, alright,” she mumbled. “He’s like old enough to be my dad. That’s disgusting. I just like his music and dream of meeting him someday.” 39
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“Like that will ever happen. Celebrities have too much going on in their own little worlds to care about the fans that don’t spend thousands of dollars on backstage passes. It’s as simple as that.” “Well, I’m not going to give up on my dreams, Jason,” she stated. Mark came in, his hair wet from now being showered, and smiled when he saw the magazine. “You’ll meet him someday, Danielle. You shouldn’t give up on that dream. I actually think he’s not much older than me. He might actually be a bit younger.” “He’s thirty-five,” Amy told them as she came in. Mark gave her a weird look. “How do you know that?” he asked. She looked a bit embarrassed. “I just know things, alright,” she mumbled. He shook his head and wrapped his arms around her again. This time she didn’t pull away. Now he smelled much better. “That’s a nineteen year difference, Danielle,” Jason told her. “It happens.” Danielle rolled her eyes and then got up off the couch. “I don’t like Michael Lonewell. I just like his music. I’m sure you’ve heard of his new single?” “I don’t follow music. I have better things to do with my life. Besides, he sings country. I hate country.” “Country stars are much better than half the pop stars out there. At least they have values.” “Every celebrity has their secrets, Danielle. I bet he goes to the bar every night and hires a nanny for his kids. I bet he’s cheating on his wife or something. It happens.” 40
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She shook her head. “Michael Lonewell does not drink,” she stated. “Get your facts straight. He’s an honest man who had a dream and reached it. He’s an inspiration to us all, and he’s a great father. He has six children that he shows off all the time.” Jason shook his head and walked away, not wanting to get into it with her. Danielle just knew he hated being wrong. Michael Lonewell had nothing to hide.
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Chapter Three
Family: can't live with them, can't live without them
M
ichael pulled out a beer bottle and slowly started
to drink it. Why did this have to happen every year? Something was bound to go wrong. In fact, every year something did, although some years were worse than others. He wasn’t sure why he insisted on keeping having this Christmas party. It just brought out the worst in all his family, and in him. But then again, at least his mother wasn’t included. That would really be asking for a disaster on all sides. Carrie came in and frowned when she saw what was in his hands. “Michael, how many times must I tell you? I'm not
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going to stop you from drinking, but don’t drink because you’re upset. It solves nothing.” “I am not upset,” Michael insisted. “I just wanted a drink and I chose this. It’s a natural guy thing, really.” Carrie shook her head. She knew Michael well enough to know he didn’t drink just to drink. He drank because he had been addicted to it since he was a teenager. For as long as he remembered he had been using it to solve his problems, but it didn’t solve anything. All it did was make things worse. When they married he promised to keep his problem to a minimum and swore the press would never find out that he was addicted. He had kept that promise, but certain things still got to him. “If you’re not upset throw that away and have some water. Your liver will thank you.” He gave her a look and then chucked it in the garbage, trying to prove a point. “See, I’m not upset. I can stop whenever I want to.” She shook her head and began to wipe down the counters. Michael gave her a look. “I drink when I’m upset, but you clean. I’m not saying our problems are equal, but you should think about it.” She suddenly put the rag down, wondering if he was right. Did she tend to clean more when she was nervous about something? Of course she knew Michael had reason to be nervous, certainly much more reason than her, but her mother was the type of person who told you what she thought and if you didn’t agree with her she would pester you until you came to your senses. This had been going on for almost nine years, and Carrie was really getting tired of it. She knew where she stood and her mother wouldn’t change that. Zac came in, having just got home from school. “Did you really invite Pete’s family for New Years?” he asked. 43
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“Well, of course,” Carrie replied. “Melissa is the best neighbor anyone could ask for and it’s a shame she has to go to her mother’s house for Christmas because that husband of hers can’t even take an important day like Christmas off to spend some time with the family he never sees. I want her to have somewhere to go for New Years. Plus it will be a lot of fun. You’ll get to spend some time with Pete while we play some Poker.” “What the occasion? We’ve never had a New Year’s party before?” “George is staying for a bit,” Michael replied. “I thought this would be a good year to have a little get together. You should be happy because that means Aaron will be staying for a little bit and then you’ll get to spend time with both of them during the party.” “Why are they staying?” Zac asked in surprise. “It’s Christmas. Shouldn’t they be home for Christmas?” “The factory’s going under,” Michael sighed. “I’m trying to help them out. Your grandfather is doing the best he can but George relies on the factory for his income and right now he can barely pay the bills since the factory’s doing so poorly.” “So you’re buying their Christmas?” “Well, in a way, yes, but it’s not about the money. George knows that.” Nothing like this had ever happened before. George was always stubborn and never wanted help from Michael, who was supposed to be his younger brother. Now that he was famous George still didn’t like to accept help from him. Zac knew his father would buy them a new house if he could, but George wouldn’t hear of it. Michael and George were fairly close but things hadn’t been the same since they moved so far 44
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away. Zac and Aaron were also pretty close, being that he was his only male cousin, and they were about the same age, but they didn’t exactly see a lot of things eye-to-eye, being they were brought up differently and had completely different lifestyles. “Where are they even going to sleep?” “We have more rooms in this house then we know what to do with,” Michael said as if it were obvious. “They can each stay in one of our guestrooms. Unless you want Aaron to stay in your room, of course.” “No,” Zac said as he made a face. Michael smirked. Now Zac understood why his father was so nervous. George wasn’t one to make him nervous, but the subject of how much money he had was always something that got the family going. Once they found out he was practically buying George’s Christmas they, and by they he mostly meant Carrie’s mother, would certainly have something to say about it. Of course there was always Michael’s father, who made him nervous period, and the fact that these family things always ended badly. Carrie’s family didn’t get along with Michael’s family, and Michael was the only person in the room who had enough money to buy a second house so that tended to cause some mixed feelings. Carrie always argued to her mother that Michael had earned it, and he would never let money or fame get to his head. Sometimes she didn’t believe her own words, being she grew up in a house where money was the root of all evil and no rich person could ever truly be happy. But she didn’t understand that money didn’t have to be evil if it was used correctly, and if they kept their heart set on things they should, it could just make life a little easier. They 45
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had a wonderful family and they had money, and she didn’t feel he was stuck up or set his heart on money. Come finals week Zac was stressing out while Kyle gave up. He knew he could never be good academically. Then again, he knew he really couldn’t be good at anything. Zac studied like crazy, getting plenty of support from Michael. “Someday, Zac, you’re going to go to a great college and then you’ll make just as much money as me. Maybe everyone won’t know your name, but maybe someday you could run for president. The possibilities are endless.” Pete found his sudden change in studying habits a bit strange, since he didn’t remember him getting this worked up about finals last year. “We go to a private school, Pete,” Zac told him during lunch the week of finals. “Our parents are nice enough to pay for us to go here without even having to keep a minimum GPA. Some of us, like Brad and my brother, don’t care and just take what they can get. But others, like me, take this as an opportunity to do something great with our lives if we try hard enough. I want to do well on these finals. I don’t accept C’s.” Pete shook his head. “Your father is famous, Zac. You’ll probably get some kind of inheritance being you’re the oldest, and you can get into a good college without having perfect grades. I’m not saying you shouldn’t study; I’m just saying don’t overdo it.” “I don’t want to live off my father all my life. Besides, with the way Kyle’s going he’ll probably need our father’s money more than I will so I’ll let him have it while I make my own. It works great.”
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Zac looked behind him and realized Molly was standing there. He turned around, kind of shocked, and gave her a smile. “Molly, hi,” he said. “As you see I care about my studies, and someday I’m going to be very rich.” “Yeah,” she said, sounding unimpressed. “Just remember if you fill your head up with too much you won't be able to remember more important things, like song lyrics.” She laughed at her own joke and Zac pretended to as well, even though he didn’t find it funny. “I just wanted to talk to you, Zac,” she said with a smile. “One of my friends is having a New Year’s party at her house and I just thought you might like to come. There will be food, fun, friends, and of course a little something to spruce things up.” Zac didn’t get the reference, but Pete did. “If you can find the time you should come. We’re always happy to invite some new people.” Zac nodded as Molly gave him one last smile and then walked away. “Well, I’ll tell you one thing,” Pete said. “Molly might be pretty, but she’s toxic. She lures guys into her trap only to find out she doesn’t mean what they think she means. Plus she’s dating Brad. I mean that should tell you everything right there.” “Molly is not toxic,” Zac insisted. “She just doesn’t understand that Brad is no good for her. I mean it’s obvious Brad doesn’t treat her the way he should. That’s where I’m coming in. I’m totally going to this party and I'm making my move. Once she realizes there’s something better out there she’ll be sure to leave that loser for good.” Pete gave him a shocked look. “Zac, what do you think she meant by a little something to spruce things up? 47
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We’re an elite school where the students have nothing better to do with their lives.” Zac gave him a blank look. “There’s going to be alcohol there!” Pete shouted. “Underage drinking is never okay, and imagine the consequences if you get caught.” “I don’t have to drink,” Zac insisted. “I mean I have self-control. Just because I’m at a party doesn’t mean I have to participate in everything. You heard her. There’s going to be food, fun, and friends. She didn’t mention the other part until last. Everything will be fine.” “What about your parent’s New Year’s party? Are you just going to blow that off?” “I’ll figure something out. I mean look who you’re talking to.” Pete shook his head. This was going to blow up,and when it did he would hate to be the one that saw how mad Zac’s father would get. He was sure he wouldn’t respond well to underage drinking. Zac didn’t know what he was getting himself into. He could come home wasted for all he knew. “You’ll end up grounded,” Pete mumbled as he left the table. Zac blew him off. He didn’t know what he was talking about. This was finally his chance to steal Molly right out from under Brad, and he wasn’t going to lose it. Two days before the party Carrie was completely stressing out, barking at anyone who even attempted to talk to her. She was running around the kitchen trying to make everything perfect. “I’m all out of cheese,” she panicked as she opened both of their fridges. “All this food and no cheese?” 48
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Michael came in and sighed. “Carrie, why must you insist on making everything yourself? I mean I know you like to cook, but there’s going to be a lot of people here. Why don’t you hire someone so you can at least share some of the burden?” “I don’t want my mother to think I can’t handle six children. Besides, homemade food from the mother’s hands is always better than something store bought or made by someone else.” Michael shook his head. “You are a great mother and can certainly handle six children. But surely your mother understands this is a big party and she can’t possibly expect you to make all the food for it.” “If she doesn’t expect me to then I’ll impress her.” Michael just decided to give up. She was obviously convinced this would make her mother show her some more respect, but he didn’t see that happening. This was the one time a year both of their sides got together, and as a result something always went wrong. It was stressful enough with just his side, but with Carrie’s side added to it it just made things ten times worse. But he refused to let her make all the food for the New Year’s Party. He would just go out and buy a bunch of food behind her back if he had to. She was working herself way too hard. Meanwhile, Zac was having a little fun of his own with his semi-new car. He was driving it up and down a few streets, bored out of his mind and trying to show off to a fellow passerby. He hadn’t been driving for very long when he saw Molly, and standing next to her Brad. He seized the opportunity and drove even faster, revving the engine and 49
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showing off his cool shades as he drove by Molly smiled but Brad just gave him a death look. Zac drove back and then stopped over by them. “Hello, Molly,” Zac said with a smile as he took off his shades in a cool way. Brad thought he was just trying too hard, but Molly seemed to be feeding into it. “What do you want, idiot?” Brad asked. “Come to wish me luck for the Youth MVP of the year thing? I’m going to start right after break." “You won’t even make it passed the first round,” Zac told him coldly. “Oh, but you couldn’t be more wrong. When I do make it to nationals you’ll be sorry you ever said anything. You just wait.” Zac rolled his eyes. “Do you like my ride, Molly?” Zac asked as he pointed to his car. “It’s great, Zac,” Molly said with a smile. “It’s a piece of garbage compared to my baby,” Brad said. He then pulled out a set of keys and clicked a button. His car beeped and Zac looked over to see a Volvo. Zac was really annoyed. Of course a Volvo wasn’t the nicest car ever, but it was certainly nicer than his car. His car was nicer than an average sixteen-year-olds car but certainly nothing to brag about to an extreme. “You would think with all your father’s money he would buy you a decent car. Maybe he just doesn’t care enough.” “At least my father doesn’t have to buy my love,” Zac mumbled. “I can deal with my father buying my love,” Brad said as if it were nothing. “I’m sure Molly would agree with me.” 50
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Molly didn’t say anything. Zac hoped that meant her father didn’t have to buy her love. “So have you thought about the party, Zac?” Molly asked. “Absolutely,” Zac said with a smile. “I’ll see you there, because I’m totally coming. I’m excited.” Molly smiled as Brad looked shocked. “What? You invited this loser?” “Yeah, because I’m sure he won’t get drunk and then flirt with other girls all night,” she said coldly. “I’m drunk, so it doesn’t count. You know I would never do that sober.” She folded her arms, having nothing more to say to him. But he apparently wouldn’t give up. Zac figured he should probably leave, but really wanted to stay to see if she would break up with him. He was also tempted to speed along the process, but then realized he wouldn’t feel right with himself about doing that. But then again, maybe he wouldn’t need to. If Molly was so unhappy with Brad that she was inviting Zac to this party and was upset Brad always flirted with other girls when he was drunk, maybe Zac stood a chance. He just had to get Molly from Brad. He didn’t have to fight dirty. He could just show her what a real guy was like. “I should probably go,” Zac said as he backed away. “Good luck getting home in your piece of junk,” Brad said as Zac gave him a look. His car wasn’t bad at all. It was new, and it got great gas mileage as well as being very reliable. It had a really nice speaker system and Zac knew an ordinary teenager wouldn’t get a car like this. He kept telling himself his father made tons of money but if he kept comparing what he had to people like Brad it would never be enough. He had both a great father and 51
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family with a ton of money. He had no room to complain. What did Brad have? Money was about it. Once he got home his father put him to work. “I don’t want to see a spec of dirt in the dining room,” he told Zac. “We’re having a lot of people come over and that’s where they’ll all eat. It needs to be CLEAN.” “Fine,” Zac said in annoyance, having no desire to clean for this stupid party. “But why can’t you just hire someone to clean? I mean, isn’t that what a maid is for?” Michael gave him a look. “What you would learn if I did that, Zac? There are some things in this life teenagers with rich parents never learn, and cleaning is one of them. You need to learn.” Zac mumbled something under his breath and then headed into the dining room. He wanted to point out a maid would do a much better job than him, but he knew his father wouldn’t hear of it. Even though his father was rich he tried to get them to live the most normal life possible. Zac didn’t always like that, because most spoiled rich kids had it all. He only had some. “Don’t complain,” Kyle said as they passed by each other in the hallway. “I get the living room. At least all you have to worry about is a table and wood floors. I have to worry about the couches and carpet.” “Sucks for you,” Zac said with a smirk. Kyle gave him a look as he walked out. Once all the horrible cleaning was over everyone had the chance to calm down a bit and Michael took the time to assure himself everything would go fine at this party. Now that all the dirty work was done all he had to worry about was something going terribly wrong. Carrie, on the other hand, was still cooking for it. 52
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“Carrie, they can’t eat THAT much,” Michael told her when he realized she had been cooking for two days straight. “I know,” she said as she rushed around the kitchen. A timer went off from the oven and she ran over to pull something out. “I just want them to have plenty of choices, you know. I’m sure they’ll be really happy and they’ll enjoy the meal. That’s what important.” “They’ll enjoy a meal that didn’t take days to cook too.” “Not as much as if I put hard work into it. Don’t worry; this will assure nothing will go wrong. If they have nothing else to talk about they’ll talk about the amazing food. It will be great." Michael highly doubted that would happen, and it was killing him seeing Carrie stressing like this so much. She was acting like the success of the entire party would depend on how much food she made. He knew that wasn’t true and he had a feeling her mother would still find plenty to complain about, even if it wasn’t her cooking. And he also worried since she was going for quantity rather than quality her mother would certainly find something to say about it. He knew his family would eat it even if it was horrible because they wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings, but her and her mother had been going at it ever since she started dating Michael, and it only got worse once they got married. Around ten Michael came down and demanded that Carrie go to bed. “You’re not going to be up all night cooking,” he told her. “You’ve been on your feet for two days and now you just need to relax and know that the party is happening tomorrow. Everything will go fine and there’s nothing more you can do to prepare at this point.” 53
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“Are you kidding me?” she asked in shock. “There’s still tons to do. Now that the party is less than a day away there’s tons of food to prepare. Sure, I can make food in advance and nuke it in the microwave or something, but nothing beats freshly made food that’s still hot. That’s what I need to work on all day tomorrow.” “Carrie, please just come to bed. If you really insist on making more food that I promise we won’t need then at least get some sleep tonight. You can’t cook when you’re so tired you can’t stay awake, and the party will end up disastrous,” he told her when he saw her giving him that look. She seemed to ponder what he said. “Fine,” she mumbled, "but I’ll be up first thing tomorrow morning to finish. I can’t waste any time.” Michael woke up really late that next morning, being completely exhausted from the stress of the party. Sometimes hiring a maid, a cook, and a planner didn’t seem like such a bad idea. But he knew Carrie’s mother and probably his own father wouldn’t respond well to him doing that. They didn’t like that he had so much money as it was. He didn’t need to rub it in their face by inviting them to a party that was completely paid for. Besides, getting stressed about things like this made him feel as if he was actually normal, and with his extremely abnormal life he liked to hang on to things like that. He sat up and saw that Carrie was still asleep, snuggled up beside him. He smiled, knowing it was already ten o’clock and she still wasn’t up. That had to mean she was so exhausted she didn’t get up early like she originally planned. He had no plans to wake her up, so he carefully got out of bed and quietly left the room. She would probably be freaking out once she did wake up, but at least she got plenty of rest and her mother couldn’t say she was working too hard with not enough 54
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sleep in-between thanks to him. The stuff that woman could come up with amazed him. He spent the morning doing some last minute things. He was on the phone with George, making sure he boarded the plane and everything went fine during the process, when Carrie came rushing down. “It’s already noon?” she asked in shock. “Why didn't you wake me?” “I have everything under control, and you need a break,” he told her with a smile. She clearly didn’t like that answer, but Michael just went back to his phone call. “Is everything alright?” George asked. “Yeah,” Michael replied. “Carrie’s just stressing out over this thing. She wants to make sure everything goes perfect.” “And now it won’t,” Carrie said as she began to run around the kitchen. “There’s so much to do and now I won’t be able to get it all done.” “Everything will go fine,” Michael told her. Then he went back to George. “I should let you go. But it’s good to hear everything went fine. I’ll expect you soon since coming back from the layover shouldn’t take long. Call me when you get to the airport and I’ll either come to pick you up or I’ll send Zac to. Either way you’ll be fine.” “You know I feel kind of bad that you always pay for us to fly up here every year, you use gas to pick us up from the airport and drop us off, and then you plan this elaborate party for us. This year you’re even helping us out with Christmas. You do way too much.” “Don’t stress it, George. I mean I have plenty of money and I live so far away it’s nice that you all get to come 55
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down once a year. Christmas is really the only time we’re all together.” “Well, not all of us,” George mumbled. Michael acted as if he hadn’t said anything. “This will be a great year. I’m going to make sure of it.” “Well, goodbye then,” George said. “I’ll see you soon.” “You too,” Michael said as he hung up. Carrie was still running around the kitchen. “I’m out of milk,” she said in a panic. “I have way too much to do to go and get it. Will you get it for me?” Michael hated going out in public. Bad things always happened, even in his own town. He usually had Carrie do the shopping and other things for that reason. It wasn’t like he never went out; he just didn’t like to go to average places like the supermarket where crazy fans would chase him down. But Carrie clearly wasn’t thinking about it because she was so stressed. “Fine,” he said as he headed out of the kitchen. “I’ll get a couple gallons.” She didn’t reply as he walked out. Michael tried to assure himself he was just getting a couple gallons of milk and nothing could possibly go wrong. But from the second he walked in he sensed trouble. He saw a ton of people staring, and he just gave them a smile like he did this every day. He walked over to the milk section, getting more nervous with each step. Nothing would go wrong. He was just getting some milk. People might be shocked and stare, but they wouldn’t do anything crazy. Two hours later Carrie was freaking out even worse, complaining the entire party was ruined because she was out of milk. She was practically bawling and Emily was trying to 56
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calm her down. “You’re a great cook even without milk, mom,” Emily told her. But Carrie wasn’t listening. Zac came in and noticed all the commotion for the first time. “What’s going on?” he asked. “Dad was supposed to get milk but he’s not back yet, so mom’s freaking out,” Emily explained. “You’ve made plenty of food in the past couple days. What are you worried about? Both of our fridges are stacked with food you made for the party.” “But I need something hot,” she said, still upset and crying. From the looks of the food on the counter she already had some hot things. He assumed she just didn’t have as much as she liked. His phone rang and he answered it. He was surprised to hear his father’s voice, and he sounded kind of stressed. “Tell Carrie I’m so sorry, and next time I’ll just have to send you.” “What’s going on?” Zac asked. “Nothing,” Michael sighed. “I just need to remember that a couple of crazed fans can change everything. I won’t be back in enough time to pick up George and all them, so you’ll have to do it.” “What? Dad, they’re not all going to fit in my car.” “They’re not the same flight. You just worry about George’s family and your grandfather, and I’ll worry about the rest when I get back. It’s not that hard. Just pick them up and drive them to the house. I’m sure you and Aaron have some catching up to do.” Zac sighed. “Fine. But can I take one of your cars?” “Fine,” Michael said, not really giving it much thought. 57
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Zac jumped for joy. He NEVER got to drive one of his father’s cars. He always told him he had a car of his own and he didn’t need him wrecking his cars. He didn’t see what the big deal was since buying another car wouldn’t be that hard and he had so many of them he felt like he wouldn’t miss one anyway. “Goodbye,” Zac said as he hung up. “Was that your father?” Carrie asked as she rushed into the living room. “Where in the heck is he?” “He got caught up with a bunch of crazed fans,” Zac replied. Carrie sighed. “Hey, it happens. But I need to go pick up George and Grandpa from the airport.” She didn’t say anything as he left, rather just stared at the wall like she wanted to punch something. Zac felt thankful it was only his uncle, his two cousins, his aunt, and his grandfather. If his father told him he had to pick up Carrie’s mother he would scream. She hated him, and she made that very clear every time she saw him. “Still not in jail yet, Zac?” she asked. “It will happen in time.” “Zip up your coat,” she would bark. “Your father may not care it you or your siblings get sick, but someone has to.” “Don’t be teaching things like that to Emily, Tyler, or Lorie. They need some good role models, but sadly they don’t have many to choose from.” He always drove her up a wall. Of course when Carrie would hear her talk like this to him she would get angry, but that never ended well. Bringing up his father period around her never ended well. His father, on the other hand, would usually ignore her if he heard anything either about him or Zac. He would later tell Zac he shouldn’t listen to anything she says and it was best to just ignore her so she didn’t think you cared. 58
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Zac was pretty sure he just didn’t want to start a fight. Enough of those always happened whenever the entire family got in the same room together. He came outside and looked around, wondering what car he wanted to take. It was a hard choice, since they were all amazing, fast, and expensive cars. He had to hand it to his father for knowing how to live in style, even if he did insist they go to all this work for a family party. In the end Zac chose a shiny black one. He wasn’t sure what it was called but it looked much nicer than his car. He only wished he could go show it off to Brad and Molly. But he knew his father wouldn’t be too happy if Zac was late picking them up, and having to pick them up was awkward as it was so he didn’t want to add to it by being late. The airport wasn’t too far away. He was more playing around with the car than watching what he was doing, and he had to catch himself a few times. He knew his father would be livid if he wrecked this thing. Not only would he probably take away his car but he would never be trusted with a car again. He certainly didn’t want that. Maybe if everything went well he could convince his father to let him take one of his cars more often. This would certainly prove he could take it out without wrecking it. He recognized George, Aaron, and his grandfather right away. George had a rather round face with blond hair, pacing back and forth as he waited. Aaron looked a lot like him except his hair was a bit darker because Laura, his mother, had dark hair and a thin face. Next to Laura, holding her hand, was the youngest: Sophie. She was just barely six and she seemed to have a knack of getting in trouble. She had dark hair like her mother, but then had her father’s round face. 59
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His grandfather seemed to be standing by himself, as if he didn’t like this one bit. His hair was much darker than George’s, and his age lines certainly showed. He looked really old, although Zac knew he wasn’t extremely old. He figured his age lines came from all those years he spent working in his factory. He came up to them and instead of a, “Hi,” or even a smile George gave him a weird look. “What are you doing here, Zac?” he asked. “My father got held up and asked me to pick you up,” Zac explained. George nodded, looking a bit skeptical. “Well, alright then,” he mumbled, looking like he had a mouthful to say to Michael when they saw each other. Zac led them out to where the car was parked and Aaron was in shock. “Is this your car?” he asked. Zac laughed. “I wish. No, this is my father’s. He was nice enough to let me use his car if I agreed to do this.” George gave him a look, as if challenging the truthfulness of what he just said. He hoped Michael really did let him use his car. But he was sure despite the fact Zac didn’t like authority he wouldn’t go as far as taking his father’s car when he wasn’t supposed to. That might be crossing the line. “Well, in that case, how about I drive?” his grandfather said. Zac stared at him, trying to decide if he was serious. “Why would you need to drive? I mean I took it up here, so I should take you back. I can assure you I’m a very safe driver and I know how to work this car. Besides, I’m sure my father would feel more comfortable with me driving it than you.” Derek begged to differ, but he wasn’t giving in with Zac. 60
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“You got your license a couple months ago, right? It would be better for all of us if you let me drive.” “I can drive immediate family,” he protested. “How about I bring your father into this?” he said with a stern look. Zac sighed and slowly handed him the keys, knowing his father would side with him if he called. Why did everyone treat him like he was still a little kid? He thought being old enough to drive meant he was a bit more responsible with other things. His grandfather gave him a smile when he saw the look he had on his face, but Zac didn’t return it. “I’ll make it up to you, Zac,” Derek said. “I’ll let you get a window seat.” That didn’t make Zac feel much better. They ended up having to squish a bit. Derek was driving, George was in the front, Sophie was on Laura’s lap, Zac was on one side in the back, and Aaron was squished in the middle. He was irritated Zac felt he was the one being picked on. Derek and George got into a few conversations of their own, but everyone else was just kind of quiet the entire time. Then again, George and Derek were the only ones who weren’t cramped. “Finding someone to take over the factory when I’m out and so are you is really hard work,” Derek said to George. “I mean you’re the only one who really knows how to run things but it’s kind of hard when we’re at the same place.” “I still say you made a big mistake by letting Alan run the place. I say there will be a lot of cleaning up to do when we get back.” “Give the guy a chance. I mean he’s done nothing to prove otherwise.” 61
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“If you remember correctly he almost made Carrie quit, thereby destroying hers and Michael’s relationship.” “They didn’t have one at the time. Everything happens for a reason, George. Alan is only human and I’m sure if he knew then what he knows now things would have ended up differently.” Zac gave them a surprised look. Who almost made Carrie quit? When did she even work at the factory? He remembered his father worked there for a while, but he didn’t ever remember Carrie. He hadn’t met her until the wedding, given the circumstances of everything, so he never knew how they met. The factory seemed reasonable, he supposed. “Why did he almost make Carrie quit?” Zac asked. “Maybe you should ask your parents to tell you the story, Zac,” Derek said with a smile. The last thing Zac wanted to do was ask Carrie and his father how they fell in love. It seemed like a stupid question for a teenager to ask. Once they finally got home Michael was back, but he didn’t look very happy. “They’re everywhere,” he mumbled as he did a few last minute things in the kitchen. He then came out and saw that Zac was back. “Hello, guys,” Michael said with a smile. “I apologize for not picking you up myself. It’s been a crazy past couple of hours. I hope everything went well with Zac.” “I didn’t trust a sixteen year old behind the wheel with all of us in the car, so I hope you didn’t mind me driving your car,” Derek told him. Michael nodded. “Well, I would imagine Zac wasn’t very happy, but I don’t care.”
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Zac gave his father a look. Why didn’t anyone see him for the age he was? He was plenty responsible for a sixteenyear-old. George seemed to look around his house. He had it all. Sometimes it made him a bit jealous. He knew he deserved all of it for sure, but that didn’t make it any easier. George and his family began to unpack, being they were staying for more than a night like everyone else, as Carrie continued to stress over the food and Michael tried to calm her down. “Do you realize how limited I am without milk?” she asked as she ran around the kitchen. “I’ve had to look up all these recipes that don’t require milk, and most of them required soy milk or some other kind of milk. Milk is essential. You’re gone for two hours, leaving me to worry about this party in which tons of people will be coming.” “Carrie, we’re not throwing a dinner party for a group of important people or something. This is just our family. I’m sorry I got caught up when I went shopping and ended up coming back two hours later without milk, but you have to understand how hard it is for me to just ‘go out.’ But I’m here now. I can help you with anything you need me to, even if I still think you have plenty of food and it’s time for you to take a break.” “I’m fine,” she barked. He sighed and then stood to the side of the kitchen, hoping she would eventually bend. Zac came in and sensed there was tension between them. He turned to his father, who looked stressed but not nearly as stressed as Carrie. “So, did Carrie ever work at the factory?” he asked. 63
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Michael turned to him, seeming to be surprised by the question. “She did for a little while. Why?” “I’m just curious. Why did she quit?” “Because I got married,” Carrie replied as she stirred something. “So it wasn’t because of someone there that didn’t like you?” “No,” Carrie replied with a weird look as she stopped stirring for a minute. “Why are you suddenly curious, Zac?” Michael asked. “Oh, no reason. I mean there’s nothing wrong with learning a little bit about my parents’ history, being I wasn’t around at the time.” Michael gave him a look, warning him not to say anything more about the subject. He didn’t like for it to be brought up. “If you want to hear a good love story, I can tell you all about how your father and I fell in love,” Carrie said with a smile. “No,” Zac said quickly. “My question has been answered. I don’t need to hear a love story.” He then walked out, causing Carrie to laugh. “What is it with men and thinking love stories are for girls? I mean they fall in love too. If they don’t then they’ll end up miserable all their lives because they won’t love the girl that’s lying next to them at night. Love stories are a part of everyone’s life.” Michael nodded in agreement, thankful Carrie now had something to distract her. Going back to how they fell in love when she was mad at him was great. He came up to her and wrapped his arms around her. “Hey,” he said as he brought his face closer to hers. “If you want this party to go well you can’t be mad at me. I mean how 64
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would that look to your mother? She would jump all over it if we were fighting. She would be able to sense even a little tension.” “I know,” Carrie sighed. Michael then gave her a kiss and she tried to tell herself it wasn’t his fault and he was right about her mother. If she wanted to be mad at him for something this small, now wasn’t a good time. “I’m just stressed alright.” “I told you before we have plenty of food. We’re ready for the party. You just need to relax until it starts and the real stress begins.” She nodded in agreement and then buried her face in his chest. She might actually listen to him this time, because she was so tired of cooking and she knew he was right about the party being the beginning of the real stress. “Well, long time no see,” Aaron said as he came into Zac’s room. “Don’t you know how to knock?” Zac asked as he sprang up from his bed. He was on his laptop, but he wasn't really doing anything embarrassing. “Your door was cracked so I took that as an invitation to come in.” “I must have not shut it all the way.” “We haven’t seen each other since the end of the summer, Zac. It’s been a while. Don’t you have anything to say to me?” “I hope your life is going well?” Zac said. Aaron gave him a look. He shook his head and then started to walk out. “Aaron, I didn’t mean it like that,” Zac said as he got up from his bed and followed him. “I mean you’ll be here all 65
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week so is it really necessary to talk right now when you’ll be here forever? This party is very stressful.” “And playing on your laptop sounds so stressful,” Aaron said sarcastically. “I was just blowing off steam.” “You came to pick us up. That sounds so hard.” Zac sighed as he followed him downstairs, not wanting Aaron to be annoyed with him all week. “I need to go pick up Maybell and all them,” Michael said as he looked at his watch and rushed into the living room. When he said ‘all them’ he also meant Carrie's parents. The thought troubled him, but he knew Carrie was too stressed to go with him and there wouldn’t be enough room in the car anyway. Maybell was his younger sister, but she could get along with anyone, so he wasn’t too worried about sending her on a flight with Carrie’s parents. Her husband was very quiet and hardly ever said to a word to anyone, so he shouldn’t be a problem. He just had to worry about his own sanity when they started to throw their insults at him. He knew they weren’t bad people; they just thought if the kept trying to push Michael away eventually he would leave, leaving Carrie with the kids and his money. He knew Carrie wasn’t like that so he had no plans to leave her, but they sure pushed him sometimes. Surely after almost nine years of marriage he had proved to them he wasn’t going anywhere and he loved their daughter more than anything. He didn’t understand what went through their mind half the time. Zac wondered if his father going to pick them up was the smartest idea. Carrie’s mother hated him, and without her there to defend him when she went off things could get ugly. He tended to ignore her when she went off, but he also had a 66
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terrible temper that could come out if he wasn’t careful. But then again, Maybell would be there to keep him calm. They hadn’t seen each other in a while so hopefully they would spend the car ride up talking about what’s been going on with their lives so she wouldn’t have the chance to insult him. Him losing his temper on her would be something she would remember for the rest of her life, and use against him for even longer. Victoria paced around the waiting room of the airport, looking like she wanted to yell at someone. “He’s late,” she told her husband, who was sitting right next to her. “He makes us come all the way out to Rhode Island just so we can see our daughter one of the two times a year we actually get to see her, and then he doesn’t even show up on time. Figures.” Her husband didn’t seem to be listening, rather reading something in a magazine that was sitting over on the table to the side. When she realized this she turned to Michael’s sister, Maybell, who looked like she had had enough of her for one day. “Does it bother you that he’s late, or are you convinced he’s perfect because he’s your brother? Or maybe you’re used to him being late.” Maybell sighed and tried her hardest not to show how annoyed she was. Her daughter was sitting to the side of her, looking bored, while her husband was giving Victoria a glare, wondering if she was ever going to shut up about how much she couldn’t stand Michael. “He said around five-twenty, and it’s only five-twenty two,” Maybell said in annoyance.
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“Hey, two minutes is two minutes. It can be the difference between a job and not getting a job, and a difference between losing a friend. But then again, Michael probably has no friends.” Maybell bit her tongue. She didn’t want to get into it with her, even if she had some obligation to stand up for her brother. She didn’t understand how she and Carrie could possibly be related. Carrie was kind and caring, while her mother was loud, rude, and very opinionated. Maybe deep down she was kind and caring as well, but she sure had a hard time showing it. “So, I’m sure it was fun growing up with Michael,” Victoria said casually. “I mean he was your older brother and all. I can only imagine how hard it was for your parents once he became a teenager and his true colors started to show a bit.” Maybell gave her a weird look, wondering what she was getting at. “Well, I enjoyed having Michael as an older brother. He was always very kind, didn’t lose his temper unless someone really got to him, and he had dreams beyond imagine in which he eventually reached.” “Oh, come on. No teenager is that perfect. Perhaps he could have been that way as a child, but once a child reaches a teenager they end up all over the place. I mean look at my daughter. She was always as sweet as can be, as she is now, and had dreams of becoming a mother someday. Then she hit her terrible teens and everything changed. Suddenly she thought she knew better than me and then ended up getting pregnant once she moved out.” Maybell was in shock by this, while her husband wasn’t really listening. “Carrie was pregnant before she got married?” she asked. 68
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Victoria looked a bit embarrassed. “I asked you a question first.” Maybell sighed, unsure of how to answer her. Of course she knew about Michael’s whereabouts when he was a teenager, but given the circumstances things were a bit… different. And of course he rebelled. But then again, he kind of had an excuse. “Michael was a great teenager,” Maybell said with a bit of uncertainty in her voice. “I mean he wasn’t perfect, but overall he was good. I mean he married Amy before he got her pregnant, even though the relationship didn’t last long, and he’s been a wonderful father. When he was a teenager he was recording albums and singing for shows. He’s always loved music; it just took a little while to get his career jump started so he could finally reach his dream. I’ve always looked up to him.” Victoria gave her a skeptical look, knowing there was something she was leaving out. “Really? So he married his first wife completely out of free will, even though he had been divorced for many years before he met my daughter?” “He and Amy were very young when they got married. They thought they loved each other, but they didn’t. But I know for sure the marriage came first and they thought they were in love. He was always good to her. Even after they divorced they never hated each other because they got divorced because things weren’t working out, not because anyone cheated on each other or he was abusive in some form." “Well, I would love to hear this from her, but apparently she’s not around. I wonder why that is if they had such a good relationship.” She clearly had some mock to her voice, and Maybell was very annoyed at this point. 69
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“You shouldn’t be talking about this with me. Why don’t you bring it up with Michael? You don’t know the full story, so don’t judge.” Victoria gave her a look, really wanting to hear more. How could someone just take off and abandon their children and have someone stand up for her? She didn’t care what the ‘full story’ was. She took off and left her children with their father, and that was that. Carrie never did that, and she knew she never would. Michael finally showed up at this point, and Victoria gave him the usual scowl as greeting. “Hello, Maybell,” Michael said as Maybell gave him a hug. “It’s been too long, Michael. It seems we only see each other once or twice a year.” “Well, you’re the one that moved all the way down to Maine,” Michael said. “I know. I just like it up there. I have no plans on moving back.” Sometimes Michael wondered if she had moved down there to get away from it all, then met her husband and decided that was where she wanted to stay. They had all tried to reason with her and convince her to come back to California, but she had stood her ground, claiming she had a life in Maine. She used to have a life in California, but then she left it all behind. He found it rather sad, because Maybell was always the sweetest girl ever and he never thought they would end up growing so far apart. “And hello, Victoria,” Michael said as he smiled at Carrie’s mother, not even attempting to shake her hand. “Hello, Michael,” Victoria said coldly.
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“Carrie has a great dinner waiting. She’s been working hard on it and I’m sure everything will go great. That’s what Christmas is about, after all. It’s a wonderful time of the year.” “So you left Carrie to do all the cooking like some controlled housewife while you lounged around?” Victoria asked with a look. Michael sighed. And now it started. Sadly, it would only get worse. “Carrie loves to cook,” Michael half said, half mumbled, unsure of how to defend himself without giving her an opportunity to shoot another insult. “She insisted on it. And no, I haven’t been lounging around. Carrie might have done all the cooking, but I’ve been busy with other things. Throwing a Christmas party involves more than just food.” Victoria shook her head, but otherwise didn’t say anything. Michael was grateful as he led them all to the car. Well, maybe she wasn’t in the mood to insult him today. He sure hoped so. Having a Christmas party with a good motherin-law was his dream. But sadly it was a dream he hadn’t fulfilled yet. Michael tried to make small talk in the car, and was surprised that Victoria was actually being pretty quiet. He couldn’t decide if this was good or bad, but it certainly was nice for the time being. Maybell was the one answering most of his questions, while her husband said a word here and there. Maybell always said he loved to talk, but whenever he came here he hardly said a word. He didn’t really know much about him even though Maybell claimed he was a great guy and loved her very much. Michael had brought up the topic with her daughter, Penelope, once, and she had said her father didn’t like her mother’s family and only associated with them because he had to. Michael didn’t know everything about Maybell, but from 71
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their childhood he knew she probably wouldn’t leave a guy once they were in love unless he did something really horrible. It was just the way she was. But he couldn't judge whether or not their marriage was having issues, because he never saw her and when he did he never talked. Once they got home Victoria was quick to get out. Michael assumed she was egger to see Carrie. Despite the fact he found it hard to believe they were related, being they weren’t anything alike, she loved Carrie very much and he knew Carrie loved her. From the stories Carrie told him he knew they used to be very close, but kind of drifted apart after she ended up pregnant without a father that was around. But Carrie had lived with them for many years, and when they first met Carrie was embarrassed to admit she was a twenty-fiveyear-old still living with her parents. Of course that was because she had a daughter to support with no father helping her, but she eventually moved out on her own to prove a point to Michael before they got married. It would have been nice for Michael to have parents to help him out when he was raising Zac alone, but his parents weren’t like Carrie’s parents. He was never close to them and to come back and beg them to let him and his son stay with them seemed foolish. However, his father did help him out in a time of need by giving him a job at the factory. If there was one thing he could thank him for after all he went through, it was that. “Mom,” Carrie said excitingly as she greeted her at the door and gave her a hug. “Hello, honey,” Victoria said happily. “Now that you live on the other side of the country I never get to see you or my grandchildren. It’s rather sad.” 72
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“I’m sorry, mother,” Carrie sighed. “But you can see them now.” She was suddenly attacked by a little girl, and she picked her up so she could give her a hug. “Hello, Lorie,” she said with a smile. “How’s my little pumpkin doing?” “Good, grandma,” Lorie said happily. “You know we still need to cook you up for dinner,” Carrie’s father joked. “Don’t think we’ve forgotten.” “Do you think I would taste good, grandpa?” Lorie asked. “Well, of course,” he replied as he took her from Victoria. “You’re the sweetest little thing ever, and everyone loves something sweet.” Lorie laughed as Emily came up and gave Victoria a hug. “Hello, grandma,” she said. “Emily daring,” Victoria said as she gave her a kiss. “How are you doing?” “Good," Emily replied. "I’m learning to sing. My dad bought me a guitar for my birthday and he says he’s going to teach me how to use it.” Victoria didn’t look like she liked this one bit. “Darling, your father’s a busy man. Perhaps you should find something your mother and you could do together. Something that doesn’t involve music,” she added with a mumble. “I know he’s busy, but he’s already given me some lessons. He taught Zac how to play and he’s really good. My mom says I just have to be patient.” Victoria shook her head, annoyed Michael was brainwashing her with foolish dreams. “Where’s my favorite grandson?” she asked as she looked around. 73
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By this point Zac was standing in the living room, looking annoyed. Tyler was her favorite grandson because in her eyes he was her only grandson. She didn’t consider him, Kyle, and Miranda her grandchildren. It really made him mad, although he wasn’t sure why because he would hate to have to claim her as his grandmother. This way he didn’t have to and had a defense when his father would call him on it. “Tyler doesn’t like people,” Zac said with a look. “He’s probably upstairs, hiding from you and everyone else.” She gave him a look. “You better watch your mouth, young man," she barked. Would it kill her to call him by his actual name? But he didn’t want to get into anything with her, so he just walked away, mumbling something under his breath. “He’s right, mother,” Carrie said. “Tyler’s probably hiding.” “You seriously need to do something about him, Carrie. A child never talking to anyone and hiding from the world is never a good thing.” “Let me be the parent, mother,” Carrie mumbled, looking annoyed. Lorie suddenly squirmed out of her grandfather’s arms and ran to Derek. “Grandpa!” she said happily. Derek smiled and then picked her up in his arms. “Hello, Lorie,” he said. “How have you been doing?” "Good, grandpa. Mommy and daddy say I'm their favorite, you know." He laughed while Carrie looked rather embarrassed. "I think she must have understood us wrong," she said. "Of course," Derek said with a smile as he set her down. 74
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"Well, now that everyone's here, let's eat. No sense letting all this food get cold." As they all sat around the dinner table, everyone looked nervous. Not only were there so many taboos in Michael's family alone, but Carrie's mother loved to have the final word. Family gatherings were always asking for disaster. Carrie had set all the dishes on the table and Michael was the first to grab one. Everyone else followed after, not wanting to be the one to break the ice. "You can all thank Carrie for all the wonderful food," Michael told them all as he smiled in Carrie's direction, who was sitting right beside him. "She made all this?" Victoria asked in shock. "Is she a mule, Michael? This is a lot of food." Michael thought a maid would be a better comparison than a mule. He sighed. He would let Carrie deal with this one. Her mother wouldn't listen to him anyway. "I wanted to make all this, mother," Carrie said. "I like to cook and this gathering only comes once a year. Michael tried to convince me to let him buy some of it, but I refused. Don't blame him." Victoria didn't look satisfied as she took a bite of her potato salad. Michael was pretty sure she wouldn't be eating anything if he said he had helped make it. Well, even under pressure she knew how to cook. She thought it tasted great. Michael and his father made eye contact for a brief second, and then looked away. There were so many things his father could have prevented. There were so many things Michael could never fully forgive him for, even if he tried his best to make amends. Michael was suddenly taken to a memory of back when he was in elementary school. 75
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Michael was on top of the monkey bars, staring down at the children enjoying recess. He wished he had some friends. If he had friends he could be down there enjoying it with the rest of his classmates. But he stayed up on the monkey bars for safety reasons. "Hey, Lonewell," a boy called from down below. Michael looked down to see Wade Matthews. He loved to give Michael a hard time. "What, Wade?" Michael asked, feeling pretty brave since he was up here. Wade might have been strong, but he couldn't climb. Every time he tried he failed miserably. "I got something to show you. Why don't you come down and see?" Michael shook his head. "I'm not stupid, Wade." "Aw, don't be a poor sport. Do you feel all tough since you're all the way up there? Well, I have a new guy now. I'm sure he'll help me out." Michael looked over and saw a tall and stalky boy start to climb. Michael panicked and came down, only to come face-to-face with Wade. He tried to run, but Wade was too fast. He grabbed him by the shirt collar and smirked. "There's this rule of the jungle that says every man for himself. In order for the system to work there has to be awesome people like me to beat up dorks like you. I mean I'm sure you understand." Michael just stared at him. He wasn't going to give him what he wanted. How did he always get away with this? Were teachers walking but they just didn't care? Wade suddenly punched him in the arm and Michael fell to the ground, trying to suppress the pain. Now he would have a bruise over another bruise that was already there. 76
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Wade smiled in accomplishment, bowing to the crowed that had now formed around them. But at that moment a little blond boy pushed through the crowd, looking just about as weak as Michael but with more confidence since he was two years older. "Oh, George," Wade said with a smile. "You're right on time. You would think you would just give up by now." "Leave him alone," George said in rage. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" "Like you?" Wade said with a challenging look. Michael was still on the ground, making no effort to get up. As it was true Wade and George were the same age, Wade was much bigger than George and as a result things usually ended badly. Wade didn't wait for his answer as he punched George in the eye, leaving him on the ground just as Michael was. "I think you guys are cute," Wade mocked. "Brothers should stick up for each other. I wish I had a brother." He laughed to himself, looking down at them like he was king and there was nothing they could do about it. The crowd suddenly scattered. By time Wade realized why it was too late. Michael came back to the present and tried to look like nothing was on his mind. Carrie seemed to see right through him and grabbed his hand. He smiled at her. Carrie was the only person he had ever poured out his heart to about his childhood, and she always seemed to know when he was thinking about it. Well, except for Amy. He had told her everything as well. "Well, Michael," George said, trying to make conversation. "You're a big shot now. How's that going?" 77
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"Great most days," Michael replied with a smile. "I've heard Journey made it up there," Maybell said. "I hear it on the radio all the time." "It's definitely a hit," Michael said with pride. "It's very popular on iTunes. This is just the beginning of my new album that will come out sometime next year. I've been working hard on it." "I can't wait," Maybell glowed. "All your CDs are amazing. And I'm not just saying that because I'm your sister." "Sure," Michael said with a smirk. Victoria scoffed. "Just because something's popular doesn't make it good. The music industry is all about money now. If you have a pretty face they'll put you in, having others write your songs and edit your voice. All you have to do is learn to sing them and look pretty, rolling in all the money and blowing it on drugs and products to stop aging." Everyone at the table was staring at her. Carrie was wondering if she understood it was different for male singers, and was kind of annoyed she had said something like that around the children. "I'm a country artist," Michael told her, trying hard to keep his voice even. "I write my own songs, and don't use editing. Pop is the popular music industry. Not as many people like country, and I don't let people boss me around." Victoria gave him a cold look as Carrie sighed. Her mother would never give up. She didn't know what it would take to get her to understand how amazing of a guy he was, even if he was famous. She seemed to have her heart set on hating him even though she didn't even know him. She had tried to make her understand, but she refused to listen. She wanted to show Michael the woman she grew up with and 78
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knew. Her shooting insults at him all the time wasn't the mother she knew. They went around the table and started talking about all the events since they had last seen each other. Maybell mostly bragged about her daughter, talking about all her achievements and her part in some kind of play. Her husband mentioned something about a promotion he just got, and Maybell glowed as she backed him up. However, she didn't really say anything about herself, claiming if her family was succeeding that meant she was succeeding so it didn't matter. Derek talked about the factory and how they got all this new chocolate. It wasn't really much to brag about, since they were majorly going under and Michael had a hunch the new chocolate could have been one of the causes of it. George likewise bragged about the factory, while his wife chipped in a few things about Sophie and a new program she was in. Aaron looked kind of left out since she didn't mention anything about him, but there wasn't really much to brag about with him. Victoria bragged about their new house. "It's a bit smaller than our last one, but you don't need money to be happy. Money is the stuff of the devil, and Camren and I have a great relationship without money. That's what's important." Michael gave her a look as Carrie tried to ease the mood. "Well, I agree that relationships are important, mother. I mean Zac is practically getting straight A's, Michael is very successful, Emily is everyone's favorite student at her school, and Tyler is three grades ahead of where he should be. At this rate he might be able to graduate before he even starts high school. Money doesn't have to corrupt you."
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Victoria seemed surprised by what she said. "Tyler is THAT far ahead? I mean, I always thought he was homeschooled because he had some kind of problem." It was clear by the way everyone seemed to make it look like they were just acting casual they all agreed. Tyler never talked to anyone. It wasn't that bad of an assumption to make. Carrie looked irritated. "Tyler is very smart. He's not in regular school for a number of reasons. They suggested I put him in a special class because of his speech problem and I wouldn't hear of that. I also think it would slow him down if I did that." "Well, I think that's awesome," Maybell said with a smile. "Just because someone is mute doesn't mean they're not smart. Some of the brightest people out there can't talk. They communicate in other ways." Maybell looked a bit concerned when she saw the look Carrie was giving her. "Tyler isn't mute," she stated. "He chooses not to talk." Everyone at the table looked surprised by this. "Is not talking to anyone normal?" George asked. "I mean, have you ever looked into it?" Carrie sighed and looked down at her plate in annoyance. "Tyler's just a little shy," Michael explained. "Carrie's kind of sensitive about it." "A little?" Zac mumbled. Michael shot him a look. "We've taken him to see plenty of specialists," Michael continued. "They all just tell us it will happen when he's ready. It's nothing to get worked up about." The look Victoria was giving him clearly said she didn't agree. He wasn't talking to anyone! That was very concerning for someone his age. 80
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Tyler was looking down, suddenly feeling selfconscious knowing that everyone was staring at him. He had barely touched his food and now he didn't feel like eating. "Well, Tyler," Derek said with a smile, "I know I'm a bit scary, but George here is harmless." "Oh, I'm the scary one," George joked. Carrie still looked annoyed, but she was starting to lighten up. She hated it when someone brought up Tyler's speech problem. She would give anything for him to talk to her, and none of the doctors had given her any answers. It drove her crazy and she hated to hear people say he had some kind of disability. Once dinner was over Carrie started to clear the table while Michael helped. Michael went into the kitchen and Carrie overheard her mother talking to her father from the living room. "How long is she going to be in denial?" her mother asked. "I mean I get that she wants to see the best in the son that she gave birth to, but if he hasn't said anything by now he's obviously mute. Maybe he's really smart, but still mute. The sooner she comes to terms with that the sooner she can start to teach Tyler how to communicate without talking. Things like this just happen." Carrie set a plate down a little too hard as tears streamed from her face. She knew Tyler could talk. He could understand them perfectly and he was so smart. She just wished she could hear him say something simple. She would give anything to hear him say he loved her. But sometimes she was afraid her mother was right; she was in denial and she would never hear anything from him. But she refused to admit that. 81
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Michael came in the kitchen, his mind going crazy. George was always there for him, except when they were at home. It was like he wasn’t afraid to stand up for him in front of the jerks at school but couldn’t bear to go against their mother. He always couldn’t stand that, and now he had mixed feelings. George was the only brother that he was ever close to, and his only friend growing up. He had a lot to thank him for. But he also had a good reason to hate him as well. He was suddenly taken back to another memory. “Fighting at your age,” Mrs. Peterson, one of the school teachers, said as she took them to the nurse’s office. “You should be calling each other names and complaining this person did this. Maybe you could even claim this person has germs. But fighting? You’re much too young to know the meaning of hate, so why would you fight?” “We didn’t touch him, Mrs. Peterson,” George said in defense. “He was the one doing all the fighting. We were just victims.” “I’m aware,” she mumbled. She pulled open the door to the nurse’s office and they both came inside. “Check these boys out, Nancy,” she told the nurse. “They just got into a fight.” The nurse nodded as she looked down at them. The teacher walked out. “How old are you boys?” she asked. “I’m ten and my brother here is eight,” George replied. The nurse looked a bit surprised. “Oh, you two are related. Well, then, I guess that makes my life easier when it comes to paperwork. What are your names?” “I’m George Lonewell.” 82
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“And I’m Michael Lonewell,” Michael mumbled, not really being in the mood to talk after that. “Oh, the Lonewells,” she said with a nod. “I used to see your brother in here a lot. He was always hurting himself.” “Dallin loves a good adventure,” George told her. “He gets into a lot of trouble at our house too. He’s in middle school now. He’s only a few years older than me, so soon I’ll be in middle school too.” The nurse smiled, looking like she really didn’t care, but she was just trying to humor him. Dallin didn’t leave a good legacy for them to follow, and George wasn’t much better. All his teachers seemed to hate him before they even knew him. He felt Maybell had it easy, because she had him and George to make up for Dallin. After everything was said and done, Michael and George sat on the chairs, waiting, while the nurse was out in the hallway talking to the teacher that had been there before. “One of them has a bunch, but the other doesn’t have any,” the nurse told the teacher. “I mean that fight couldn’t have been that bad, right? They’re brothers, so I’m not sure if something is going on at home.” “You need to check things out,” the teacher told her. “Michael is very shy and is always getting picked on, while George seems to have more confidence. We don’t know for sure, and certainly don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but you still need to check it out. Every child deserves a loving home.” The nurse nodded in agreement. “I’ll make some calls.” She then went back into the room where Michael and George were.
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“Hey, guys,” she said with a smile. “I have a very important question to ask you and I need you to be completely honest with me.” They both looked at her, wondering if she was going to ask about the fight. Michael didn’t want to get in trouble. He hated getting in trouble. But he wished she would have asked about the fight, because he didn’t like the question. “Have your parents ever hit you?” she asked them both with a completely serious look. “And I don’t mean just spanking; I mean a hit that was really meant to hurt you.” “No,” George said immediately. “Our parents would never do that.” Michael was hoping she would take George’s answer for both of them, but she turned to him as well. “No,” Michael said with much less confidence than George. His life might have sucked right now, but he at least had some sun shining through the clouds. He didn’t want to get rid of it. The nurse nodded, seeming to be studying him, and then told them they could go. “Remember there are plenty of people around the school that can help you,” she told them as they left. “I mean, just in case.” George and Michael didn’t speak of it as they headed home. It was a taboo between the two of them. In George’s eyes, it never happened. Michael came back to the present, not realizing he had just dropped what he was carrying in his hands. Thankfully it wasn’t glass so it didn’t shatter, but it did make quite a noise. “Are you alright?” Carrie asked in concern as she rushed over. “I’m fine,” he said. “It just slipped. Sorry about that.” 84
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She gave him a smile, knowing something was wrong. “Hey, just another hour,” she told him. “Then you won’t have to deal with her anymore.” Michael nodded, knowing it wasn’t her mother that he was thinking about. Carrie helped him pick up what he dropped. Michael noticed her eyes were a bit teary. "Is everything alright, Carrie?" he asked. "I'm fine," she lied. "Is this about Tyler? They "Is this about Tyler? They don't know what they're talking about. They see him a few times a year; you raised him. You know so much more than they do." "What if they're right?" she asked, not bothering to hold back the tears anymore. "I've sat there for years trying to get to know him without him communicating with me. I've taken him to every doctor around here and have tried multiple programs to get him to even show some kind of sign that he can talk. What if he can't? What if I just need to face the facts to I can get him some training in learning to communicate without words?" "Tyler's only seven, and he can communicate to us just fine what he wants. Give it some time before you jump to conclusions. Maybe he's just a late bloomer. With how smart he is I have a hard time believing he can't talk. I mean he doesn't even really like people. Maybe he's just strange in that way and he's waiting for the right moment. It's not like he's given you reason to think he can't." "I know," she sighed. "But the smartest person in the world can't talk." "Well, I'm sure the smartest person in the world didn't have a mother as amazing as you, and I'm sure his parents 85
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knew that since he was little. That's something they would be able to catch." She nodded as he gave her a hug. "Just another hour," he told her. "After that things will be much easier." When she finally calmed down and headed into the living room she sighed when she saw Tyler wasn't there. He was only around when he had to be, and never said anything during that time. She desperately wished he would just make an effort, even if he was mute. Michael came up to George, who looked rather bored at this point. "So," Michael said casually as he stood next to him, "how's mom doing?" George seemed a bit surprised by this question. "She's doing alright, I guess. She's still living at the same house she's always lived at. She doesn't have a job currently, and I'm always helping her out. She asks about dad all the time, but dad won't dare mention her. It's kind of sad." "Does she ever ask about me?" he asked casually, trying not to show the hope in his voice. George gave him a sad look. "Sorry, Michael, but no. But maybe it's just hard for her to ask. I mean, she can be kind of stubborn." Michael shook his head. It had nothing to do with being stubborn. "Well, how about Dallin?" "Well, Dallin's Dallin," George mumbled. "His life is going nowhere right now and I'm just worried he's going to overdose a little too much one of these times. He's already been in the hospital a few times and he refuses to let dad pay for him to get some kind of treatment. I just felt bad for his daughter. I can only imagine how much crap he puts her through." 86
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Michael nodded in agreement. "Does he ever listen to my music?" "If he does he won't admit to it. He's like mom; every time I even attempt to bring you up he acts like we're talking about a friend of mine or something and then he drops the subject." Michael shook his head. Of course. Dallin was just like his mother. Of course he had to choose between which one of them he would come and visit, Dallin would win in a heartbeat. Dallin might be obnoxious, rude, and have so many problems, but he was his brother. Plus he didn't have as much reason to hate him. "I mentioned to Dallin he should come, and he just shook his head and told me it wouldn't be a good idea." "I would have loved for him to come. I mean, he's still my brother. I'm sure Carrie and all them would love to see him again. It's been too long. I think Carrie's only met him once and the kids have only seen him." "Well, Dallin's stubborn. We all know that." Michael nodded in agreement. Although he was never close to Dallin, he still wished they could talk. He had two brothers, not just one. George and Maybell were always good to him, but Dallin was a bit different. That didn't mean anything to him, though. He wished Dallin would just talk to him. He might have been a jerk throughout all his childhood, but he never hurt him and he felt he did it more to look cool. Maybe deep down he cared about him and wanted to talk to him again too. Victoria was still going off, but Zac wasn’t quite as patient as Michael and Carrie were. “You must remember that your father got VERY lucky,” she told him. “I promise you you won’t be able to succeed in today’s world without higher 87
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education, despite the costs. Your father has lived off a dream, and that’s not very smart. Get a real dream.” Zac looked at her in annoyance. “My father is a great guy, and despite what you think he’s worked hard since he was just a teenager to become famous. But it doesn’t even matter, because I’m planning on going to college. But everyone is different.” “Your father was a fool who lived off a dream, Zac. I’m trying to help you here so you don’t make his same mistakes. I mean he doesn’t have any education other than his music career, and had he not become famous he would be screwed right now. Money isn’t everything.” “My father was not a fool,” Zac said with a bit of a tone. “You’re not helping me at all, so just quit while you're ahead. I wouldn’t be able to afford college if it weren’t for his career and money doesn’t have to be bad. It depends on whether or not you put your heart into it.” “Respect your elders, Zac,” she said with a look. “I know your father didn’t teach you that, so I’m teaching you right now.” “Oh, so now you’re my elder? I wasn’t sure what to call you. Thanks for clearing that up,” he said sarcastically. She looked furious now. “Have some manners!” she shouted. “Maybe your father won’t do anything about it, but I’m sure Carrie would.” Zac didn’t want to burst her bubble and say he wasn't afraid of Carrie at all. She was the nice mother type that could never yell. His father, on the other hand, would yell over anything. But he had a feeling his father would be on his side, so he wasn’t worried. “Why don’t you test that theory out?” 88
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She looked at him in shock. “Well, then. Apparently you really don’t have any manners. Then again, should I really be surprised?” She suddenly walked off in a huff and came up to Carrie, who was just coming out of the kitchen. “I’m leaving,” she stated. “Mother, your plane doesn’t leave for another hour,” Carrie said in surprise. “Michael not only is a rich celebrity with need of stronger morals, but he also doesn’t know how to raise his children. I would hope you do a better job with Tyler and Lorie.” Carrie stared at her in shock. “Mother, where on earth did you get that?” “Maybe you should talk to HIS son about it,” she said in annoyance as she suddenly walked out the door. Michael was standing over by George, looking just as surprised about this outburst. He followed her outside while Carrie just sighed and sat on the couch. She wasn’t going to deal with this right now. “Whatever Zac said to you, just forget about it,” he said as he ran after her. Her husband wasn’t too far behind, although he wasn’t running and he didn’t look like he wanted to leave. “I mean it’s Christmas Eve and Zac doesn’t always think before he talks. You shouldn’t let him get to you.” “I’m leaving, Michael,” she stated. “It’s late and I have things to do in the morning. Having to deal with an obnoxious teenager wasn’t on my list for today.” Michael sighed. “Will you at least let me take you to the airport? I mean, it’s kind of far and late to be walking.”
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She gave him a suspicious look. “Fine, but let’s make this quick. I’m pretty sure I’ve already overstayed my welcome.” It didn’t take long for Maybell to come out. “I figured we were probably leaving,” she told Michael with a smile, her daughter clinging to her hand and her husband behind her. “You don’t have to leave right now,” Michael insisted. “I was just going to take them down to the airport.” “You shouldn’t have to take two trips, Michael. It’s fine. It’s about time we leave anyway.” On the way there Michael was rather annoyed. He only got one day a year to spend with his sister, and because of Carrie’s mother his time was cut short. He tried to get a few words in during the twenty minute drive. “Is everything going well, Maybell?” he asked. “Great,” Maybell replied. “I already told you a bit at dinner, but our entire family is doing great. We’ve gotten more than we deserved for sure. I’m even thinking of going back to school.” “Really?” Michael asked in surprise. “Why do you feel you should go back to school now?” “Well, I’ve been kind of bored. Cassidy is getting older and sometimes I feel all I do is sit around all day. Plus I would love the pleasure of knowing I could be my own person and don’t have to rely on someone else if something happens.” Her husband seemed to give her a look, as if she was hinting that she wanted to leave him once she could. Michael knew they didn’t have the best relationship ever from their experiences with Zac, but Maybell would never leave him. That was just the way she was.
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“Being a mother is the best thing a woman can do in this life,” Carrie’s mother cut in. “Being educated doesn’t matter if you’re a great mother.” “Step into the twenty-first century,” Maybell said, finally showing a bit of annoyance to her voice. “I love being a mother, but I don’t want to be trapped. Women don’t have to anymore. There’s nothing wrong with being educated." Michael stopped this before it got too bad. “Alright, that’s enough,” he told them. “You both have different opinions, but you’re both great mothers and that’s all that matters.” Maybell nodded in agreement while Victoria seemed to just give him a look. Either way, they both were quiet after that. Michael was very grateful. He hugged Maybell goodbye and she gave him a squeeze back. “Michael, remember I’m just a phone call away if you ever want to talk,” she told him. “One day a year surely isn’t enough.” “Of course it’s not, Maybell,” he said with a smile. “I have a lot to thank you for.” She smiled in reply but was cut short by her husband, who looked like he was ready to go. He walked toward the airport and she followed. “Goodbye,” she said one last time as they all left. Michael attempted to give Victoria a handshake, but she didn’t seem interested. She didn’t even give him a goodbye as she dragged her husband away. Michael sighed, realizing he would probably never get through to her. He kept trying to prove to her he loved Carrie and was a fine father, but she hadn’t been listening. He just headed back to his car, ready to go home and the rest of the party to leave. 91
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He walked in on a game of Charades. George was motioning with his hands and everyone else was trying to figure out what he was doing. “Playing the piano,” Kyle said as Michael came in. “Yep,” George said as he sat down, thankful that was over. He had chosen an easy one on purpose. “Well, I think I should go now, Michael,” Derek said as he got up. “I feel kind of bad you have to make another trip just for me. You already took the others down to the airport.” “It’s not a problem,” Michael assured him. “It’s just a bit complicated because George is staying longer than you are. Don’t worry about it.” Derek nodded as the two of them headed out. Carrie looked grateful the last of all the guests were leaving, and went to go do a bit of cleaning. As Michael started the car and drove down the driveway, he was brought back to another memory. He tried to suppress it, but it came anyway. He was sitting on his bed, staring at the floor. He could hear his parents arguing from downstairs. They they got very scary sometimes. He wasn’t even sure what they were arguing about, but they sure were loud. He felt a tear escaped his eyes. He wiped it away. Their fighting was far from the worst thing that went on in this house. He wasn’t sure why he was so upset about it. George suddenly walked in, looking just as happy about their fighting as Michael did. They locked eyes for a minute, and then looked away. “Do you think they still love each other?” George asked him. “Are they just together because dad can’t leave her?” 92
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Considering the circumstances, Michael often did think his father was afraid of her and that’s the only reason he stayed with her. It would actually explain a lot. “I don’t know,” Michael said, still staring at the floor. It was quiet for a few minutes. George came to sit on his bed and they both just listened to their arguing. “Hey, George,” Michael finally said. “Yeah,” George replied, both of them staring at the ceiling now. “Do you think it’s bad I kind of wish they would get a divorce?” George was silent for a few minutes, unsure how to answer him. “I don’t know,” he finally replied. Michael sighed and the continued to listen to their arguing. If they left each other he felt his life would be so much better. They finally stopped arguing and then they heard the footsteps of them walking away. A few minutes later Derek walked into their room. “You guys should go to bed,” he told them. He tucked George in and then gave him a kiss goodnight. Michael tucked himself in, but he still gave a kiss goodnight. As he walked out Michael felt another tear come to his eye. Someday his father would take him away from all this. He would take George and Maybell with them, and then his life would be perfect. Maybe his mother didn’t love him, but he knew his father did. The last thing he heard as he went to sleep was the sound of his father talking to Maybell. “Goodnight, angel,” he told her. “Goodnight, daddy,” she said back. 93
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Michael snapped himself out of it and continued to drive. Derek gave him a smile when he looked over at him. “Thanks for doing this every year, Michael,” he told him. “With you guys so far away now it’s nice to get together fully at least once a year. And then Maybell lives so far away as well. This is the only time we’re actually together.” Michael nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it is nice to get together. It’s a lot of work to host a party like this every year, but it’s well worth it. Plus I have the biggest house and the most resources to make clean-up easier. Don’t feel bad about it.” “Well, you’ve accomplished more in the past five years than I have all my life and my father’s life put together. I think that’s pretty impressive.” “Hey, you’ve accomplished just as much if not more than me. Sure, I might be famous, and I might have lots of money, but I didn’t turn your father’s dream into a reality by opening up the factory, and I haven’t worked nearly as hard as you. Fame and money don’t mean anything success wise.” “You go up in front of millions of people. I couldn’t do that. I just take charge of a factory while all my workers do the dirty work.” “My producers do all the dirty work for me,” Michael protested. “Sure, I sing my own songs, but they still help. It’s not much different than the work you do at the factory. My work is just a bit less manual labor and paperwork and I get paid a ton more than you do.” “Whatever you say, Michael.” It was silent for a few minutes. Michael wasn’t sure what to say. It wasn’t like talking to his father was ever easy. For as long as he could remember it was never easy. 94
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“Hey, if you ever need any help with the factory, don’t be afraid to ask,” Michael told him. “I know things aren’t looking great right now financial wise, and I’m certainly the person that can help with that.” “Thanks, Michael, but the factory will be fine,” Derek insisted. “We’ve gone through rough patches before. It’s all just the experience of opening a factory. Things haven’t been easy and I know I’ll have even worse things ahead, so I can handle this. I feel bad about George and all my workers, but they understand as well. And I’m thankful you’re there to help George out. He works hard, and I always feel bad that I can’t pay him more.” “Well, if you insist. But don’t forget I’m just a phone call away.” Derek nodded with a smile. They pulled up to the airport and Derek got out. Michael followed. “Goodbye,” he told Derek. No hug or even a simple handshake was given. “Michael, you’re a good person,” Derek told him. “I know I don’t deserve anything, but you’ve went above and beyond anything I’ve deserved. Thank you. If anyone deserved to have a great family and become famous, it was you. But I’m a firm believer that everyone gets what they I'm not complaining.” Michael didn’t have anything to say to that as Derek walked away. In a way, he was right. If he had any sense he wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with them after everything was said and done. But he couldn’t just leave them. Not only did he never get anyone else but he also couldn’t bring himself to accept anyone else. They would always be his family, no matter how dysfunctional they might be. 95
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Zac sensed he was in trouble when Michael came home. He was right, because Michael immediately came over to him and gave him a look. “You have to understand how she is,” Zac said in defense. “She was egging me on. She kept telling me to do something with my life because you never did, and then started to poke at your parenting when I became annoyed with her. She totally brought it on herself.” “She’s your grandmother, Zac,” Michael stated. “Whether or not you agree with her doesn’t matter; you still have to respect her. She left early and took Maybell with her. You had to have really ticked her off.” “She just gets mad easily.” “Zac, you’re grounded. I hate to ground you on Christmas Eve, but you’ve left me with no choice.” “No way. Pete’s coming over and I was going to do a few things. You can’t ground me before New Year’s.” “You want to watch me?” “No. You can’t make me do anything.” Michael was angry now. He put his hand up and then had to stop himself. No, he would not be like his mother. He knew he made some mistakes throughout Zac's sixteen years of life, but he was sure Zac had a lot more reason to think he was put with the best family ever than Michael did. The hand movement was enough to scare Zac. He knew his father was harmless, but he had a horrible temper and he knew from experience if he got mad enough bad things could happen. Zac backed away and Michael sighed. “Just go to your room, Zac. If you don’t I’ll ground you longer. It’s Christmas Eve so if you want to open your presents tomorrow I suggest not testing me.” 96
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Zac was studying him, trying to figure out if he was serious or not. He decided he was and slowly headed to his room. Well, there was a first time for everything. His father would be so preoccupied with the party he wouldn’t even notice. Once Carrie was at a stopping point with all the after party cleanup she came upstairs. Michael met her in the hallway, pulled her into his arms, and gave her a kiss. “Hey, Christmas is tomorrow,” he told her. “Just think; by morning you’ll be watching all the kids open their presents with huge smiles on their faces.” Carrie smiled. “Yeah, I know,” she said. She got out of his grasp and came into Tyler’s room. He was out, but she kind of just looked around his room. Michael came up behind her. “What’s wrong?” he asked her. “Are you still upset from the mute thing during dinner?” “How could someone with his talents not be able to do something as basic as talking?” she sighed. She looked around his room, which was covered in drawings. They were all highly detailed and contained all sorts of things, from people to scenery to objects. Some of them were in color but most of them were in black and white. “Even if he never talks to us, he’s a great kid and you’ve been a great mother. Someday he’ll want to communicate with us, and when that day comes he’ll figure out what he wants to do. Personally, I don’t think he’s mute. Tyler doesn’t like to associate with people. Maybe not talking is just one of those things. Someday, he’ll explain to you what all these drawings are and why he drew them.” He went over to one of the walls and grabbed a drawing off it. He handed it to Carrie. She looked down at a 97
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picture of herself, bent down to help Tyler with something. It was so detailed it could have been a photograph. She smiled. She wished he was right. She would love for Tyler to explain this picture to her. But then again, maybe this was the way Tyler said he loved someone. Maybe she would never hear him say, “I love you,” in words like she so desperately wanted, but she would still hear him say it. She set the drawing back on the wall and gave Tyler a kiss. She gently stroked his hair, smiling at the way he cuddled into the covers. “We have to be up early tomorrow,” Michael told her. “Come to bed.” She nodded in agreement and then stood up. Michael also gave Tyler a kiss and then followed her out. He might have made a few mistakes with Zac, but he wouldn’t repeat them with Tyler. He didn’t want Tyler to have any reason to be afraid of him.
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Chapter Four
Christmas above and below
Z
ac woke up to the sound of Emily shouting down the
hallway the next morning. “It’s Christmas!” she shouted. “Wake up, everyone! It’s Christmas!” He rolled over, wondering if his dad would let him skip the present opening. His presents would surely still be there by time he actually felt like getting up. For the person who had everything, presents weren’t that big of a deal to him. His question was answered when he heard a pounding on his door. “Zac, up,” Michael demanded.
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Zac sighed and slowly got up. At least he could go back to sleep afterwards. Christmas was a fun holiday and all, but not worth getting up so early for, especially after having the party just the day before. “Merry Christmas, guys,” Carrie said with her usual smile as they all came downstairs. Zac thought she looked pretty awake for cleaning up after the party and then wrapping presents all night. But maybe she was just putting on a show, because his father looked ready to collapse at any minute. He had a camera in his hands but he didn’t look like he would even know how to use it in his state. George had insisted to Michael that he didn’t want to disrupt his family Christmas time, and refused to come out and let his children open their presents until after they were done. Michael tried to talk him out of it, insisting he was a member of the family too, but couldn’t get George to budge. “Who’s ready for presents?” Carrie asked. Emily, Lorie, and Kyle practically jumped up while Miranda, Tyler, and Zac looked like they had Christmas all the time and it didn’t matter the least bit to them. “You all have to open your presents at the same time,” she told them. “I’ll give you one and you have to wait until everyone has one. We’ll continue like that until all the presents are gone. Some of the older kids might have to go a few rounds with just watching because their presents were quite a bit more expensive.” They all nodded as she came near the tree and they all sat down. Michael slowly pulled his camera out and started to record. “Well, give an introduction so years from now we’ll know what this is,” Carrie told him. 100
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He sighed and then turned the camera toward his tired face. “It’s Christmas morning and it’s the year 2013,” he told the camera. “Zac is sixteen and Lorie is three.” He then turned the camera back and Carrie gave him a look. Everyone else seemed to find that rather funny. Carrie started to hand everyone a present. When she handed Zac his he started to shake it a bit, trying to figure out what it was. But he didn’t have to wait long because Carrie then told them all to go ahead and open their presents. Lorie opened a very expensive doll, Tyler opened a book, Miranda opened a paint set, Emily opened a few guitar chord books, Kyle opened a new Gameboy, and Zac opened a new iTouch. He wasn’t really surprised, because his dad usually bought him the latest upgrade since there was really nothing else to buy him. During the next ten minutes they opened piles of things. Toward the end it was only the little kids opening presents, since they had so many more. Lorie got dolls of all sorts, dresses, a huge dollhouse, and cute little things for her to play with. Tyler got a ton of books, some really expensive drawing materials, a science kit, and a few toy items such as GI Joes, action figures, and a model plane. Miranda got lots of paint supplies, some makeup, a ton of new clothes, and a new iPod. Emily got a karaoke set, some guitar supplies, a few books, tons of clothes, and some new shoes. Kyle got a nice, expensive camera, a new iPod, and also some clothes. Zac got a few outfits, a new pair of shoes, a new iTouch, and an upgraded laptop. Zac smiled, feeling very lucky he was born to a rich father. How many teenagers would love to be in his shoes right now? Of course it wasn’t always perfect like this. He remembered getting a simple basketball for Christmas one year 101
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when he was younger, and another year his father made him something. This was certainly a change from that. After they were all done opening their presents Carrie handed them their stockings. They all basically consisted of the same things. They had a lot of candy, especially chocolate, with a few little things such as key chains, lip-glosses for the girls and cheap parachute men for the boys, and a toothbrush. Zac found the toothbrush to be rather random, but maybe his parents were having trouble coming up with new ideas. Having money was nice, but then it was hard to outdo the last year. “I hope you all liked your presents,” Carrie said as Michael stopped recording. Instead of answering her they all kind of just went upstairs. Lorie stopped to give them a hug, and then joined them upstairs. “Do you think they’re spoiled, Michael?” Carrie asked. “Well, yeah,” Michael replied. She laughed. George eventually agreed to come down, and then his kids opened their presents. He had refused to let Michael go overboard on what he bought them, so they didn’t have nearly as much as Michael’s children did. Aaron got a decent laptop and some clothes while Sophie got clothes, a doll, and some hair bows. George looked really nervous when he saw the laptop but Michael insisted he had tried his best. “I don’t do cheap, George,” he tried to explain to him. “Really, I tried with his.” George rolled his eyes, knowing he perfectly well knew how to do cheap. He hadn’t always been this rich. George had insisted on buying their stockings himself, so they got mostly cheap candy with a few other things. Unlike Michael’s children, Aaron and Sophie couldn’t stop thanking 102
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him. “Thank you so much,” Aaron told him. “This has been the best Christmas ever.” “Well, thank you, Aaron,” Michael told him with a smile. “I hope so.” “Thanks, Uncle Michael,” Sophie told him. “Daddy said you helped Santa this year, and I’m sure he was thankful for it.” Michael gave her a smile as she skipped upstairs, egger to find Lorie and exchange toys. Although they were three years apart from each other, they enjoyed playing with one another. “Your turn, Carrie,” Michael told her. She smiled at him. “Did you overdo it again?” she asked. “Carrie, overdoing it is what I do best,” he teased. He handed her a small, wrapped box. She opened it slowly, being the kind of person who liked to save the paper. She finally opened a box, and inside was a necklace. She didn’t have to ask to know it was real diamond. It was in the shape of a lightning bolt. “It’s beautiful, Michael,” she said as she put it on. Michael already knew what his present was, because she had showed him late last night. “Sorry if my present didn’t add up,” she said sadly. “I didn’t know what to get the man that already had everything.” “Hey, it’s the thought that counts. I loved the new TV. How many men can say they got a new flat screen from their wife?” She smiled. “Would you accept a kiss with it?” “Yeah, I think I will,” he said with a smile. “I can’t buy that.” She laughed as they kissed. 103
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Aaron came up to Zac’s room and threw a present at him. “Hey,” Zac said, being caught off guard since he was trying to get his new computer set up. “What was that for?” “Open it,” Aaron told him. “It’s from me.” Zac stared at him. “You got me a present? Aaron, you didn’t have to. I mean I didn’t get you anything.” “Just open it. Christmas is about giving, not receiving. I don’t care.” Zac was sitting on his bed, now feeling rather guilty. He slowly opened it and saw a basketball. “Well, thanks,” he said without much enthusiasm. “You can never have too many basketballs.” “Look on the side.” Zac looked on the side and saw a name. Upon closer observance he saw that it was signed by none other than Tony Parker himself. He was in shock. “You got this signed by Tony Parker?” he asked. “How did you manage that?” “I have some connections,” Aaron said with a smile. “Do you like it?” “I love it! I’m a huge fan of him. I don’t think I’ll be using this ball for actual playing.” He laughed and then sat down on the other side of Zac’s bed. “Well, Merry Christmas. Your dad’s awesome.” “Well, I couldn’t disagree with that,” Zac said with a smile. “Merry Christmas to you too.” They both kind of just sat there, thinking about Christmas. [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] 104
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“Merry Christmas, guys,” Amy said with a smile as the four of the kids slowly made their way into the living room. They all looked very tired. They looked up at their small tree. It was much bigger than mini tree, but still rather small for a normal tree. Their topper was just a bunch of lights arranged in a circle and they had very few decorations on it. But they felt lucky they even got presents this year. There was multiple years Mark had to break it to them they couldn’t afford it. Mark was the last to come in. He sat down next to Amy. The boys looked ready to fall asleep on the spot, while Jamie looked wide awake. “Can we open them now?” she asked excitingly. “Of course, honey,” Amy told her. “How about we go youngest to oldest?” Jason and Josh didn’t look like they liked that idea, but Amy wasn’t looking for their approval. She smiled as she handed Jamie a small, wrapped present. She took it, looking excited, and immediately tore the paper off. Inside was a doll. It was fairly simple, but to Jamie it meant everything. “Thank you,” she told Mark and her mother as she gave them both a hug. Amy handed John his present next. He opened a small book with a pen. He likewise gave them both a hug with a, “Thank you.” Jason and Josh opened theirs at the same time. They both got matching hoodies. Jason was just happy that they were new. It was very rare they actually got new clothes. “Awesome,” he told Mark. “Thanks.” He skipped the hug. They became preoccupied with their new stuff and Mark and Amy exchanged theirs. Mark opened some chocolate 105
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and Amy opened a simple necklace. It wasn’t real diamond or anything, but she didn’t care. “It’s beautiful, Mark,” she told him as she put it around her neck. “Sorry I couldn’t get you a diamond one,” he said with a sad look. “I don’t need a diamond one. This one is perfect the way it is.” Mark far from had a lot of money. It took him over a year to finally get her a ring after they were married. She had been using a simple wedding band before that. He finally got her a diamond ring, but it was so small she wasn’t likely to show it off. But she didn’t care. Mark was the best thing that had ever happened to her. He tried his best, even if he didn’t always come out perfect. They then kissed, sealing both of their presents. Once Christmas was over they both just wanted to go to sleep. They had been working hard for those few presents. Mark had suggested they just don’t do Christmas this year, but Amy wouldn’t hear of it and insisted they try harder to at least get a little bit of money for some small presents. They had to do a lot of budgeting, Mark had to work a lot of overtime, and they had to forget a bill or two in order to have Christmas this year. But Amy thought it was worth it. She came onto the bed and snuggled with Mark. He put his arms around her and kissed her on the forehead. Amy just wanted to go to bed, but she couldn’t. Something had been nagging at the back of her head for a while now, and she just wanted it to go away. “Mark,” she said quietly. “Yes,” Mark said, only half awake but trying hard to stay awake. 106
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“What if I told you Jamie wasn’t my only child?” Mark suddenly opened his eyes, forcing himself fully awake. He stared at her. “What do you mean?” Amy suddenly got cold feet. “Never mind. Forget I even said anything. Let’s go to sleep.” “You can’t just say something like that and expect me to go to sleep. Your children are my children now. What are you talking about?” She sighed. She was now sitting up, and so was Mark. Neither one of them would be going to sleep anytime soon. “I just wanted them to be as well off as they could. I never thought I would be saying goodbye forever.” “Amy, more details would be nice.” She smiled, finding his eagerness rather funny. “When I divorced Keith I sent them all away. I sent them to live with their father. He had so much more money than me and I was living on the street. I had three children with the same man, and he took all three of them. Jamie was the only one who stayed with me, because she couldn’t go with him like the rest could. She wasn’t his daughter.” “So you’ve been married more than once?” Mark asked. “Yes,” she said, still speaking very quietly. “The first marriage didn’t last long, but that was because we were so young and so different. I left with bitter feelings, but nothing like with Keith.” He nodded. “Well, why did you have to say goodbye forever? I don’t understand. I mean a divorce is messy, but even if he did get custody of them that doesn’t mean you can’t see them. Well, unless he had a restraining order or something of that kind against you.” 107
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“Well, I didn’t have to say goodbye forever, but that was how it ended up. I lived in a homeless shelter for the longest time, and when I did finally get a permanent place to stay, I felt it was too late. I hadn’t seen my oldest son in over ten years, and now it’s been even longer. I forced my youngest son to go with his father, even though he begged me to let him stay with me. He didn’t leave me on the happiest of terms. And my daughter was actually adopted, and after Keith left I didn’t know what to do about her. I couldn’t take her like I could Jamie, and at the time she was adopted to Keith. He didn’t want anything to do with her when he left. My youngest son convinced his father to take her in, and she was later adopted to him.” “Amy,” Mark said as he wrapped his arm around her, “people make mistakes. Maybe both of your sons were bitter against you, but I’m sure now all they want is to see you again. Your youngest was probably just scared of change and a new parent, and your oldest will forgive you in time if you give him a chance. And your daughter I'm sure understands. At least you didn’t abandon her like your ex-husband did.” “But it’s been so long. I’ve put it off for far too long after we got married and I could finally talk to them again.” “Well, I don’t feel you’re the only bad guy here. Your ex-husband should have promoted them going to see you and tried to make it happen. I have a reason for not bothering to contact my ex-wife, but he shouldn’t have a reason.” “He was bitter,” she mumbled. “I sent my oldest to live with him when he was only five and even through all that happened I wouldn’t take him back. I couldn’t. It’s a long story, but I sent him to live with my ex-husband for a reason and I couldn’t take him back. I’m sure this has been his payback.” 108
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“Seems like kind of a harsh payback.” “Yeah,” she mumbled. “Well, it’s never too late. Pick up the phone and call them. That’s a good start. Of course things won’t get better overnight, but you need to take the first steps.” “It’s not as simple as that.” “What do you mean? I know talking to someone you haven’t talked to in a while is hard, but you can do it. You'll feel so much better once it’s all done and over with.” How could she tell him? Even she wouldn’t believe him if he told her something like that. How did you ‘just pick up the phone and call’ someone famous? “I don’t have his number,” she said. “Do you know where he lives? It shouldn’t be that hard to get. He’s raising your children. It shouldn’t be hard at all.” “I’ll look into it, alright. Now let’s just go to sleep.” “Goodnight,” he told her with a smile. “I can’t wait to meet your other children.” She laid back down and came into his arms. She just had to get some sleep. Maybe the answer would come much clearer to her in the morning.
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Chapter Five New Year possibilities
"
I
can’t believe we agreed to do another party,”
Michael said as Carrie made some dip. She was so worn out after the other party she agreed to let Michael buy most of the food, but she still insisted on making a few dishes. “We should really think these things out.” “This will be fun,” Carrie said, not sure if she actually meant it. “It’s just your brother and the neighbors. Melissa is a sweet girl and would never poke fun at anything, and your brother is just thankful to be here. Everything will be fine. Without my mother and your father things will be much less stressful.” “Maybe it will be less stressful, but that doesn’t mean the stress will be gone completely,” Michael sighed. 110
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“Spend some time with your brother. I know you guys used to be really close. The move has just made things difficult. Spend some time with him.” She was right in a way. Even through everything he was always his closest brother. Never once did he not consider Michael his brother, and to him that meant the world. Toward his later years in life he even started standing up to their mother about him. He was very thankful to have George. “Do you ever wish you had a sibling?” Michael asked her. She suddenly stopped chopping some chives for the dip. “I guess,” she said rather low. Michael was sorry he had even asked. He dropped the subject and dipped a chip in her dip. “Hey,” she barked. “It’s not ready yet.” “It’s still good,” he said with a smile as she gave him a look. Aaron came upstairs, bored out of his mind. There was so much to do in this house, but none of it was any fun if he didn’t have anyone to do it with. He came into the hallway and saw Zac with his bedroom door opened. He looked inside his room and saw him pacing, looking like he was thinking about something. “Hey, Zac,” Aaron said as he stepped into the doorway. “What are you doing?” Zac looked up, noticing him standing there for the first time. He suddenly got this look in his eyes and smiled at Aaron. “Aaron, I need your help,” he told him as he came closer. “With what?” Aaron asked in confusion. “Well, there’s this party tonight, and I really want to go. The only problem is I’m supposed to be here. I know you 111
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probably would rather have me stay, but you must understand; there will be a cute girl there. This is a girl I've been trying to win for a while now, and I’m convinced this is my chance.” Aaron gave him a look. “No,” he stated. “I’m not going to cover for you. If you really want to go try to convince your father. If he still doesn’t budge then take your own heat. I’m not going to fix it for you.” “Come on, Aaron. I mean I’d do the same thing for you. It won’t take much. Just convince my father I went out for a drive or something. I’ll be back before midnight and he’ll probably have a few drinks, so if you’re careful he won’t have to know.” “Zac, this is the first and only year I’ll ever be here. I was hoping you wouldn’t blow it off for a girl. If she’s asking you to go to parties she’s probably not worth it anyway. Besides, how do you know you won’t end up doing something stupid? A party is a party.” “I told you I’d be back before midnight. I’m just staying long enough to have a little fun with her. You’ll still get a couple hours of the night and all of the weekend with me before you leave. My next door neighbor will also be here. I think you’ll like him. And I don’t do something stupid. I have plenty of will power and I know how to use it. You don’t have to drink at a party.” Aaron gave him a look, not believing a word he said. “Fine,” he said rather disdainfully. “But I’m not going to try too hard. If your father figures it out I can’t be held responsible, and I’ll I have to say is I hope it’s worth it.” “Oh, it will be,” Zac said with a smirk. “Thanks. This really means a lot.”
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Aaron nodded and then went back into the hallway. This was going to blow up. He just hoped it didn’t blow up too badly and Zac got out without doing something majorly stupid. Only an hour later Aaron saw Zac was staring out the window, looking like he planned to jump. “What are you doing?” Aaron asked him. “I have to leave before Pete gets here or he’ll try to talk me out of it and/or tell my father. I can’t take that chance, so I’ll just be gone before he even gets here. Just make up some kind of excuse as to why I’m not here and I’ll take the heat from him and maybe my father later.” “So you’re going to jump out the window?” Aaron asked. “Well, I can’t use the door,” Zac said as if it were obvious. “You’re going to break something.” “You seriously worry too much. I see this done in movies all the time. I’ll just jump and let my bones absorb the impact of the shock. Nothing will break.” Zac braced himself. He had to do this. He took a deep breath and jumped, giving it all he had. But just as Aaron predicted, he ended up landing on his arm rather than his feet. He landed in the bushes under his window with a thud! And then sat there in pain. Aaron came rushing over to the window. “Zac, are you alright?” he asked, now afraid they were going to have to call the entire party off because they had to take Zac to the hospital. He wondered how Zac was going to talk himself out of this one. He could picture him saying he fell out of the window, which would be a lame but kind of funny excuse. To Aaron’s surprise, Zac sat up and replied, “I’m fine. It was just a little fall.” He slowly stood up and gave Aaron a 113
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smile of accomplishment. “I’ll be back by midnight,” he reminded Aaron. “See you.” Aaron just stared as he got into his car and drove off. He could have sworn he saw Zac grab his arm as if something had happened to it, but it could have just been nothing. He still thought it would have been better to use the door. But with a fall like that, he was surprised he didn’t break anything. He must have gotten very lucky. Not more than twenty minutes later there was a knock on the door and Carrie greeted their neighbors. Pete was standing to the side of his mother, Melissa Mongon, and in front of his sister, Rose Mongon. Melissa smiled at Carrie, revealing very white teeth. Her skin was a bit darker than her children’s, because their father’s family had been in the United States for quite some time and mingled a bit, while her grandmother came to America as a young adult. She had long, dark hair and was very small. Her daughter looked a lot like her while Pete looked more like his father, but had some of her facial features. “Hello, Melissa,” Carrie greeted her with a smile. “It’s been a while. It seems we’re both too busy to do thing together.” “Tell me about it,” Melissa said as she came in. “It’s such a shame. I enjoy spending time with you but with your husband famous and my husband the governor, sometimes that’s not always easy.” “What’s your husband up to?” Carrie asked. “I would still love to meet him. You guys have lived there since we’ve moved here yet I’ve never met your husband.” “I know,” Melissa sighed. “He has to work,” she said bitterly. “But I’m sure you’ll get to meet him someday.” 114
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Carrie nodded, not wanting to get her angry. She knew Melissa’s husband was a touchy subject. She had always wanted to meet him but he always seemed to be working. She had hoped Melissa would realize she deserved better than some governor that made plenty of money but was never home, probably off with other girls somewhere. She knew Melissa spent endless nights crying, wondering why her husband was always so busy he couldn’t be home more than he was. They knew it would be tough when he was elected, but she never expected anything like this. Carrie had told her she should leave him, but she had always refused. “Once his term is over we’ll be a family again,” she had told Carrie. “I know he loves me and our children but he’s just so busy. Being the governor isn’t an easy job. Things will get better.” Carrie thought she was in denial, but she wasn’t going to push. She certainly didn’t want to be the one that destroyed their marriage. If anyone was going to destroy it she wanted it to be him. Melissa and Carrie continued to talk as Pete and Rose headed upstairs. Pete came into Zac’s room, making a small attempt to knock but otherwise just walked in. He was a bit surprised to see Aaron rather than Zac, staring out the window like he was waiting for something. “Who are you?” Pete asked. Aaron turned around and jumped when he saw Pete. “Who are you?” he questioned right back. “I’m Pete Mongon. Zac and I have been friends since he first moved here. My family and I were invited by his stepmother to this party because she knows my mother really well.” Aaron nodded. “Well, hello then. I’m Aaron Lonewell. Zac’s my cousin.” 115
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Pete smiled. “Really? I didn’t know he had family that came to visit." “Well, this year is a little special, but we don’t usually come down because we live all the way in California.” “Well, that explains it. How long are you staying?” “Just for another couple days. We stayed for Christmas.” “I see. Well, where did Zac run off to?” Aaron got nervous. He had always sucked with lying on the spot. He had been thinking about it, but not very hard, and now that the time came to actually lie he wasn’t prepared. “Well,” he said. “He’s… he’s… he went for a drive. He didn’t tell me when he’d be back, but I assume he wouldn’t totally blow off this party. I mean he’s not that shallow.” Pete gave him a look of disbelief. “So do you want to stop lying to me and tell me where he really is?” “It’s none of my business, really. Wherever he went is his choice, and I don’t have a say in it. If this means he’s doing something totally stupid and will get in trouble for it later, than let him deal with it. I’m not getting involved.” “Where is he?” Pete asked, now looking worried. “He went to a party, alright,” Aaron finally admitted. He had always been bad at lying. But at least it was just Zac's best friend he told rather than his dad. “He said he would be back before midnight.” “A party? Is he insane? I know exactly what ‘party’ he’s talking about, and this has bad idea written all over it. He’ll be dead when his father finds out. That is if he doesn’t already do something really stupid like come home drunk.” “I think Zac is a little smarter than that,” Aaron said. “He would never come home drunk. His father would murder him, and he told me he wasn’t planning on drinking.” 116
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“Zac would do something stupid for Molly,” Pete insisted. “His mind shuts off when he likes a girl. Trust me, I would know. It’s bad enough he’s blowing off this New Year’s Eve party with his family for a party with people who aren’t even his friends, but add a girl he likes, her boyfriend, and alcohol and this will end badly.” “Well, I kind of agree. But what can we do? I’m supposed to help him out with his father. He told me he probably wouldn’t notice and even if he did he would take the heat from him later.” “This is really going to blow up. What is he thinking? I’m just sorry I’m probably going to have to be the one to bail him out.” “Probably,” Aaron said as if it were nothing. Pete gave him a look. “You’re his cousin. You could offer to help, you know.” “You’re right; I’m his cousin, which means I’ve known him all my life. I know he’s capable of getting himself into really stupid stuff, and I want no part in it. You haven’t known him half as long as I have, so you can take this.” Pete gave him another look as Aaron smiled. “And to think I was starting to like you.” Aaron laughed and then left the room. Pete stared out the window, wondering if Zac was really going to do something stupid. Zac loved the way Molly talked. She was just so pretty, and her hair was so long. He wished she would realize how stupid Brad was and that she deserved better. He was determined to prove that to her. “It’s nice you were able to make it, Zac,” Molly told him as she came up. 117
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“I’m excited,” Zac told her with a smile. “I mean, this is the first party I’ve ever been to.” Zac realized how stupid that sounded right after he had said it. “Well, not my first party ever. I meant it’s my first party with someone like you. I’ve been to other parties.” Molly wasn’t buying it, but she humored him anyway. “Well, today is your lucky day then. I hope you have fun. In case you didn’t know already, this is my house and I’m the host.” “I kind of figured that,” Zac said, trying to redeem himself after that. “It’s a nice house, though.” “I’m sure it’s nothing compared to your house. Your father is Michael Lonewell. I bet you have it all. I only wish I could see your house too. Maybe you should do a party sometime.” She said it with somewhat of a smudge smile, trying to hint something to him. Zac wondered how mad Brad would be if he could see this. “My father would murder me if I did that, but I would if I could.” “It’s just a party. It doesn’t have to get crazy if you don’t want it to.” Zac had a hard time believing her, but felt better that he hadn’t seen any alcohol since he got here. Maybe that meant this wouldn’t be so bad after all and he wouldn't get in too much trouble when he got home. Pete came into the living room, being bored out of his mind and Aaron had started to get on his nerves. He came downstairs to see Michael playing cards with Carrie, his mother, and two other people that he assumed were Aaron’s parents. The women all had soda, while Michael and the other man both had alcohol. Pete was afraid Zac might be right. Would his father even notice? 118
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“So I told her I wasn’t interested, but she persisted,” Michael told them all, still sounding sober for the time being. “I think I’m a pretty nice person, but what do you do when someone like Britney Spears wants you to do a duet with her? Not only didn’t I want to upset Carrie by doing a duet with another woman, but that would probably trash my name since it’s Britney Spears were talking about. Plus she does pop. But not just any pop, mainstream pop. I can’t stand most mainstream pop.” “To say you met Britney Spears is major bragging rights,” George told him. “You don’t have to like her to brag you’ve met her. That’s saying something. I’m not a huge fan of her, but I would still love to meet her for the bragging rights.” “Do you have any idea how many celebrities I’ve met? I could call up Katy Perry right now and do lunch. Well, if I lived closer. The point is, meeting a celebrity is nothing.” “How would it be?” George mumbled, a bit jealous. “Why did you have to use a girl celebrity as an example?” Carrie asked. Melissa and Laura busted in laughter while Michael looked like he didn’t know how to answer her. “I was just using an example, Carrie,” he insisted. “I mean why would I have lunch with Katy Perry? I’m married, so that would be weird. Plus she’s not a girl I would want to get involved with, if you know what I mean.” “What about Taylor Swift?” Melissa asked. “Yes, what about Taylor Swift, Michael?” Carrie asked with a look. “She breaks up with guys all the time. One of her exboyfriends should just write a song called, 'Maybe You’re the Problem.' Besides, she’s WAY too young for me. I don’t want a trophy wife.” 119
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George laughed while Michael took a drink, trying to avoid Carrie’s look. “That was a compliment,” he said in defense. “Not that I don’t think you’re pretty enough to be a trophy wife; you’re just not one because we’re almost the same age, and there’s so much more I love about you other than just your looks.” “You’re just digging yourself a deeper hole,” Melissa said with a smile as Carrie continued to give him a look. Michael suddenly turned around, noticing Pete for the first time. “Hello,” he said, giving him a weird look. “Are you a lost sheep, Pete?” Melissa asked with a smile. “No,” Pete replied, now feeling rather stupid. “I was just coming down here and found your conversation interesting to listen to. I guess I’ll be leaving now.” “Where did Zac disappear to?” Michael asked. “I thought he would keep you and Aaron busy.” “He’s upstairs with Aaron,” Pete lied. “I should probably go up there too. I was just a bit hungry.” “Well, help yourself,” Carrie said as she motioned toward all the food sitting on the counter. “I made plenty and Michael also bought some food. Tell that to Zac and Aaron too. There’s plenty here.” He nodded and then headed upstairs. He mumbled something under his breath as he went back into Zac’s room. Now Zac had screwed them both. He couldn’t go downstairs or they would start to get suspicious about where Zac was. But he didn’t really want to stay up here with Aaron all night. “I just feel so alone sometimes,” Molly told Zac. “I mean I never see my mother and my father is always playing overprotective dad. It can get really stressful. A mother is supposed to be a girl’s best friend, you know.” 120
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“I think having a mother is important to anyone, really,” Zac told her. “Are you close to your mother, Zac? I mean there’s no shame in it. I’m just curious.” “No, I’m not, actually,” Zac sighed. “I live with my father and stepmother. I haven’t seen my real mother in many years.” “Well, that’s one thing we have in common.” Zac was a bit surprised by this. He hadn’t realized Molly was going through the same thing he was. “Does she ever try to contact you?” Zac asked. “Sometimes she’ll call out of the blue and ask about what she’s been missing out on, and once in a blue moon she’ll call and want to do lunch. It’s hard for me to say yes, you know.” “Yeah, I do. But at least she tries with you. My mother hasn’t even done that.” “Well, my mother never wanted me in the first place. I was an accident, but they didn’t abort me. My father took the slack my mother didn’t bother. Is that the case with you? I mean your father’s famous. I’m sure he has a history.” Zac laughed. “My father doesn’t have a history that I know of. He claims to be a firm believer of abstinence and reminds me of that daily. My parents were married when they had me. The marriage just didn’t last, and then a bunch of crap happened afterwards that took me from my mother to my father, and I haven’t seen my mother since. It’s kind of complicated. She never officially decided she wasn’t going to bother anymore; she just stopped talking to me because things got complicated, and then those complications turned into years of silence. Now it’s a little late." “I understand, but what kind of complications?” 121
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Zac might have liked Molly, but he wasn’t going to tell her his life story. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he told her. “Oh, I completely understand. I don’t mean to seem like I’m pushing or anything. You should talk about what you want to talk about.” Zac nodded, grateful she wasn’t pushy. That proved Pete was wrong about her head being empty. “Are you thirsty, Zac?” Molly asked. Zac knew exactly what she meant. By this point he had noticed the keg that was lying around, most of the people drinking it. He had tried to pretend it wasn’t there and was thankful that Molly didn’t go to it immediately. “No, thanks,” he told her. “I don’t drink.” She laughed. “Oh, Zac, you’re so modest. It’s a party. Everyone drinks at a party. It doesn’t have to be bad as long as you don’t go overboard. It’s just for fun.” “No,” he repeated. “My father would murder me. Let’s just say he doesn’t approve of drinking.” “Your father is famous. I’m sure he drinks, even if he doesn’t tell the media about it.” “Well, yeah, but I’m underage. Plus it destroyed his life." “You need to relax, Zac. You only live once, and you’re only a teenager once. Enjoy it.” “No,” Zac stated. Molly sighed and then got up. Zac realized he totally just blew his chance of getting her from Brad. She probably thought he was a complete loser now. “Molly, wait,” he said as he went after her. She turned around, suddenly looking annoyed. “Maybe one drink wouldn’t hurt,” he said quietly. How could he say it was all 122
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that bad if he just took his father’s word for it? He still drank it, so it couldn’t have been bad enough for him to bother quitting. One time wouldn’t hurt. And he didn’t have to get drunk. He just wanted to make Molly happy. She smiled. “Well, that’s more like it, Zac.” She handed him a red cup. He stared at the liquid inside it, feeling nervous. Was he really going to do this? Were Aaron’s words right, and this would end up blowing up? There was only one way to find out. He slowly drank the liquid, trying to pretend it was only soda and it wouldn’t do any damage. When he looked back up Molly was still smiling. “See, Zac; that wasn’t so bad. You’re not dying are you?” “No,” Zac said, kind of wishing he was so he didn’t have to touch the stuff again. “Come on,” she said as she grabbed his arm. “We’re at a party I threw. The possibilities are endless.” Around eleven Michael was drunk. So was George, and between the two of them Melissa felt like she was in a mad house. But it wasn’t them she was worried about. She, Carrie, and Laura had been casually drinking some wine, but she thought Carrie was having a bit too much. “Those boys are going to do something stupid,” Carrie told Melissa. She thought Carrie was slurring just a bit, but not nearly as bad as Michael and George were. Carrie went to pour herself another glass of wine but Melissa grabbed the bottle from her before she could. “No more wine, Carrie,” she scolded. “You’re going a little overboard.” 123
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“Oh, come on, Melissa,” Carrie said as she attempted to grab the bottle from her. But her reactions were a little slow, so it wasn’t hard for Melissa to keep it from her. “It’s New Years. I’m not planning on driving tonight and I never drink.” “Michael’s already drunk. If you end up just like him who will take care of the kids tonight and tomorrow morning? You’ll have a mad house, and not to mention a hangover.” “They’re big kids now. They can deal with putting themselves to bed on a night like New Years. Lorie is already asleep and I highly doubt she’ll wake up. In the morning even if I do have a hangover it won’t be that big, and Michael will probably snap out of it a lot quicker than I will. I’m not going to overdo it.” With the way she was going Melissa highly doubted that. “Carrie, you never drink. Why do you want to start now?” “'Start’ isn’t a very good word to use, Melissa. I’ve drank before, although it never ends well.” “Exactly!” “You let me handle myself. I’m a big girl.” Melissa looked at her in annoyance as she finally gave her back the wine. What could she do? She was right about her being able to handle herself, but Melissa was still worried about how this would end. If Carrie never drank, that meant she couldn’t hold her alcohol well. She knew it was the alcohol talking. Carrie was nothing like this normally. Once midnight was almost here, everyone at Molly’s party got ready for the ball to drop. She turned on the TV and everyone came into the living room. When Zac came in he felt kind of strange. He had told himself he wouldn’t have more than one, but he couldn’t let Molly down. He felt kind of 124
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confident, like he could climb up that tower and drop the ball himself. He joined in with the cheer as the ten second count came. “Ten, nine, eight!” they all shouted. “Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!” The ball dropped as they all started ringing in the New Year with drinks and cheers. But Zac wasn’t expecting what came next, because Molly suddenly came in and kissed him. It only lasted for a short while, and neither one of them used tongue, but Zac had never kissed anyone before. He was in shock as she pulled away, wondering if that had really just happened. Was he so drunk he had just imagined it? “You’re supposed to kiss someone at midnight,” she told him. He nodded, still really out of it, but when he turned around he got a pretty good confirmation that this was real. “Who do you think you are?” Brad asked him. “You can’t just go around kissing my girlfriend.” “I kissed him, Brad,” Molly said with a smirk. “What’s your problem?” he asked her. “I’ve given you more than any other girl I’ve dated, and you go and cheat on me?” “Well, crazy things tend to happen around New Years. Besides, you never cared enough about the things I cared about. In case you didn’t already get the clue, it’s over.” “Fine, be that way,” Brad said in outrage. “But when you're finished playing ‘kiss all the losers in the school,' let me know.” He then walked away. Zac was just staring, starting to feel a major headache coming on. He didn’t even notice the death look Brad was giving him, indicating there would be trouble later. 125
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“I should go,” he said, trying to look at his watch but the numbers were kind of blurry. “I said I would be home before midnight.” “You’re not going in that state,” she said as she looked him down. “I may believe in underage drinking, but I don’t believe in drinking and driving. You could really hurt someone.” “I need to go. I can’t stay here.” “Sure you can. You’re drunk, Zac. Do you really want to come home while you’re drunk?” Zac thought about what she said, and he realized he didn’t. His father would murder him. Well, either way he was dead. If he didn’t come home until three in the morning his father would be angry, but coming home drunk would be even worse. If he came home at three drunk, well, he didn’t want to think about it. But staying here with Molly rather than coming home right now didn’t sound so bad. He would be dead anyway. He might as well make the most of his time. Melissa looked frustrated. Both Michael and Carrie were now completely out of it, and they were acting ridiculous. Or at least they were. The crash had finally hit Carrie, since she never drank, and she looked ready to pass out. Luckily Michael wasn’t too out of it to help her, but she was completely out of it. She was leaning against him, which wasn’t a very smart idea because he didn’t look very stable himself. George wasn’t nearly as bad as Michael, but still bad enough to annoy Laura, who hadn’t had anything to drink. “We’re going to bed, Michael,” Laura said as she grabbed George’s hand. “Why?” George asked, not looking the least bit tired. 126
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“Because I don’t want to deal with you,” she mumbled. He sighed and then followed her into the hallway. “I’m leaving too,” Melissa told her, still looking frustrated. “I guess this has been fun. Just don’t let Carrie do something stupid.” She thought she had already done something stupid, but things could certainly only get worse. Michael wasn’t really listening. He brought Carrie to the couch, and she snuggled up next to him. She had no plans to move tonight. Melissa sighed and then headed upstairs. She knocked on Zac’s door. “Who is it?” Pete asked, trying to sound like it wasn’t actually him. But of course Melissa saw right through him. “Pete, cut it out,” Melissa said, now even more annoyed. “We’re leaving.” Pete opened the door. “But it’s barely after midnight,” he pointed out. “Yeah, well, I think we were just kicked out. Come on. You can hang out with Zac another time. It’s not like you never see each other.” Pete slowly came out of the room. “So why were we kicked out?” “Michael and Carrie are really out of it,” she mumbled. Pete didn’t have to guess what she meant, because he saw them passed out on the couch. “So they’re drunk,” he said with a nod. “Carrie doesn’t drink,” Melissa sighed. “I just hope she learns her lesson.” “Zac is so lucky,” he mumbled under his breath. “What?” Melissa asked. “Nothing,” Pete said quickly. 127
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He waited about an hour, until he was sure his mother was asleep, and then snuck out. Zac might have been an idiot, but he had a feeling something had gone wrong, and he wanted to make sure Zac didn’t do something even more stupid than what he probably already did. “Molly, I have a confession,” Zac told her, still drunk. Molly smiled at him. “And what is that?” she asked. She was currently trying to clear everyone out, but she had skipped over Zac and some of the others were having issues. “I like you,” Zac told her. “I mean that as more than just a friend. I think you have the prettiest eyes and the best hair.” She laughed. “Is it the alcohol talking?” Zac stared at her, seeming to not know what she meant. Molly kissed him again, although this time it was more than just a peck. “I like you too, Zac,” she told him. Zac seemed excited by this, and he had a big grin on his face. “Really?” “Well, if you don’t change your mind tomorrow morning when you can think straight, maybe you could take Brad’s place.” Zac seemed to study her, not getting the hint. But they were interrupted by a very loud knock. Molly panicked, thinking it was the police coming to bust them for underage drinking. She slowly went toward the door and looked into the peephole. She was relieved to see it was just a teenager not too much older than herself. She had no desire to let another teenager in when she was trying to clean up, but then decided to humor him.
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“Can I help you?” she asked as she opened the door. She recognized Pete, although she didn’t know what he was doing here. She hadn’t invited him. “The party’s over.” “I know,” he said. “I’m here for Zac.” “Oh, so you’re the designated driver?” she asked. “Zac’s out of it. Good luck.” Pete watched as she walked toward the living room to where Zac was almost passed out. “Zac, your ride is here,” she said. “Oh, no,” Zac said nervously as he got up. “If it’s my father tell him I’m not here. Lie or something.” Molly laughed. “Relax. It’s that weird friend of yours you’re always hanging out with.” Zac looked up and noticed Pete for the first time. “Pete, hi,” he said with a smile. Pete didn’t return it. “Zac, you need to go home. You might have lucked out with your parents, but if you want to keep your luck I suggest coming home before three in the morning.” “Alright,” he said as if it were nothing. He turned to Molly. “Goodbye.” She gave him a smile in reply. Zac seemed to feel on top of the world as he walked with Pete across the lawn. “Today was great, Pete,” he told him. “I kissed Molly; twice.” Pete made a face. “Good for you. But I can tell that’s not the only thing you did tonight. You smell like a dumpster.” “It’s nothing a shower won’t fix.” “How much did you have to drink tonight? You’re just lucky the cops didn’t catch you.” “I didn’t have THAT much,” Zac insisted. “If I did I would be puking now, right?” “That’s the hangover, Zac.” “The what?” 129
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Pete laughed. “I only wish I could see it,” he said with a smirk. “But by the looks of it you won’t be the only one with a hangover in the morning.” “Who else will?” Zac asked, still acting rather stupid. “Both of your parents overdid it. I would hate to see what happens in the morning with three people puking in the same house. With any luck they’re be so absorbed in their own misery they won’t even notice you’re puking for the same reason.” “My parents? Carrie doesn’t drink; only my father does.” “Oh, she drinks. My mother was really annoyed and we ended up leaving early.” “I can’t even picture Carrie with an alcoholic beverage in her hand.” “I can,” he mumbled. Zac headed to his car, but Pete dragged him away. “Hey,” Zac protested. “I thought we were going home.” “We are, but not in your car. I’m driving you home. You’ll have to come pick up your car later. Better hope Molly doesn’t have it towed.” “Why can’t we just take my car?” “Because I don’t want to leave my car here when I try to help you. You owe me, not the other way around.” “Then let me drive it home. I’m not leaving it here.” “Zac, you can barely think straight you’re so drunk. There is no way you’re driving. Underage drinking is one thing, but intoxicated while driving is something completely different. I won’t let you go that far.” Zac tried to protest, but Pete wouldn’t hear of it. Zac finally gave in, really exhausted and just wanting to go home. But if his father had overdone it, he was hoping that would 130
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work out to his advantage. If he actually got away with everything that happened tonight he felt he could get away with anything. Just as Pete had predicted, all three of them had a major hangover the next morning. Zac’s and Carrie’s were much worse than Michael’s, but Michael was still pretty miserable. “So I’m still trying to understand this,” Michael said, watching Carrie splash water on her face in the bathroom, feeling terrible. “You got drunk? I mean you refused to celebrate our fifth anniversary with wine, saying the stuff was terrible and you didn’t want any. I know you've had alcohol before, but I thought you had something against it.” “I was stupid, alright,” she said irritably, trying to keep herself from puking again. “I’ve just been so stressed with the two parties and my mother, so I thought wine would make me feel better. I wasn’t planning on drinking more than a glass or two with Melissa, for the New Year, you know, but one was so good and I felt like I could just forget how stressed I was. I had another, then another, and then I couldn’t stop. I’m so ashamed. Did one of the kids see me?” “I’m sure they were all asleep. It was really late. I never said you were perfect, but I’m in shock. I couldn’t see this happening.” “So it’s alright for men to drink but women can’t?” she said in annoyance. “I never said that. It’s strictly a personality thing, not a gender thing.” She shook her head and sat on the edge of the bed, wondering when this horrible headache would finally go away. “How come you’re not as miserable as I am?” she asked. 131
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“I drink a lot more often than you,” he said with a smirk. She lied down and snuggled with one of the blankets. “I’m going to check on the kids,” he said as he gave her a kiss. “Tell them I’m sick and not to bug me,” she told him as he walked out the door. When Zac heard his father’s door open, he panicked. He smelled terrible, his eyes were bloodshot, and he felt horrible. His father would surely see all the signs and know he went somewhere last night. He did the first thing that came to his mind. He ran into the bathroom and shut the door. He then turned the facet on in the tub, making his father think he was just taking a shower. He breathed out a sigh of relief when he heard his father talking to Kyle. Maybe if he stayed in here and pretended to take a really long shower he wouldn’t get in trouble. Since they had so many bathrooms in this house his father wouldn’t really care, but he might get suspicious so he had to be careful. His father would never find out about last night. He had fun, did something stupid, and kissed Molly all in one night, and now he wasn’t even going to have to get in trouble for it. It seemed genius, and he couldn’t believe he lucked out this much. He had remembered both of Molly’s kisses very well. He was a bit embarrassed when he thought about what he had told her, but then was thankful she took it so well and he didn’t have to be too embarrassed since he was drunk. He had told her how he truly felt, and he didn’t even have to be nervous about it. Everything had worked out great.
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Chapter Six
Just out of reach
A
s George and all them were nearing their last
few hours at Michael’s house, things started to get kind of crazy. George and Michael continued to talk and have some fun before George had to go back to work, while Aaron and Zac spent most of their time talking about how stupid going to the party was. “You could have doomed us all,” he told him. “If my dad found out I lied for you, I would be grounded for the next month.”
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“Hey, nothing happened. I guess I’m just that good. I got away with it and so did you guys. I know that night kind of sucked for you guys, but I hope you know I would do the same for you.” “I doubt that,” Aaron mumbled. Zac rubbed his arm. It was getting worse. But he couldn’t tell his dad about it. He would surely ask what happened, and Zac was sure he would see right through him if he attempted to lie. “How mad do you think my dad would be if he found out?” Zac asked, getting nervous. Aaron didn’t seem to be listening. “How would it be to be rich?” he asked. “I could have everything I wanted, and you even have a great family to add up. How would it be to go to a private school, making people think you’re smart even though you’re not?” “Hey, I’m smart,” Zac said in defense. “You have your own car,” Aaron continued, not paying the slightest bit of attention to what he just said. “And you have your own room with tons of electronic devices. Your family owns a pool. And just bragging that your father is famous has got to be amazing. I could only imagine that bragging rights.” “My father is famous, and so is your uncle. You have bragging rights.” “Sure,” Aaron mumbled. “Oh, come on, Aaron. Being rich and having a famous father isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. People use me, and going to a rich school means dealing with snobs. Plus I wouldn’t suggest bragging to anyone at my school that my father is famous. That could end disastrously. Besides, I hate all the attention so I usually keep it on low profile.” 134
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“Could we just switch lives for a few days? That would be great.” “No, I’m happy just where I’m at.” Aaron shook his head. “Didn’t you just get done saying it’s not all it’s cracked up to be?” “Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I would want to change it for some medium life.” Aaron, George, Laura, and Sophie left late that night. George had insisted on taking the midnight flight, claiming that would give him an excuse to miss work tomorrow and it would cost Michael less. Michael didn’t argue because of the first reason, but he would have argued about the second. Zac’s arm was still killing him, but he refused to admit this to his father. He decided he had just landed on it wrong and the pain would go away in time. He kept telling this to himself, secretly afraid he was just deceiving himself and in the end he would be dead when he finally had to admit to his father he had sprained his arm when he jumped out the window to go to a party. His father would surely find out he drank, and then his life would be over. Zac thought about it all day, and by time dinner he had a plan. He would have to make his father feel guilty, and then he would go easier on him once he found out what had happened. Zac was very opinionated, very rebellious, and very cocky. He knew it wouldn’t be easy to make his father feel bad for him, but he knew what he would do. It was a fool proof plan that was sure to make his father feel bad. Once dinner was over Zac waited for Michael to be alone, and then headed into the living room where he was sitting on the couch. Lorie was in there too, but around nine 135
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she left with Carrie to go to bed. Around nine-thirty Zac finally sat down, trying to look casual. “What are you doing down here after dinner, Zac?” Michael asked. “And without an electronic device at that?” “Dad, we need to talk,” Zac said, trying his hardest to keep a straight face. Michael smiled. “Well, Zac, you know I’m always here if you want to talk.” “What’s the deal with my mother? I mean, why has it been so long? Has she tried to contact us at all? Do you even care?” A part of Zac was being serious about this, but the other part was just trying to stay out of a trouble and was seeking the opportunity. Michael gave the reaction he was expecting. He looked completely surprised, and didn’t know how to answer him. “Zac, I know just as much as you know,” Michael told him. “She hasn’t bothered to contact me since she stopped sending you guys those letters. What’s happened isn’t my fault; it’s hers.” “But don’t you think you should at least attempt to contact her? You’re famous. How do you know she’s tried but can’t?” “Zac, that’s ridiculous. If your mother really wanted to contact me she would find a way. It has nothing to do with me being famous.” “Whatever you say,” he mumbled, trying to look upset. Michael sighed. “Zac, is there something I can do to make you feel better?” “No,” Zac mumbled. “You just don’t understand.” 136
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Michael gave him a look. He had no idea what he was saying, but he wasn’t about to tell him. “Zac, you always have Carrie. I mean she hasn’t been around since she sent you to live with me when you were five. You should just let it go.” “But she’s my mother. Is it too much to ask to just know about her?” “No, but I can’t help you. I’m sorry.” The real side of Zac and his feelings about this issue finally came out, and he was no longer pretending. “Why did she choose favorites? She raised Kyle and acted like she cared about him, but cast me aside and stuck me with you. It’s not fair.” “Are you saying you hated living with me?" Michael questioned. “No,” Zac said quickly. “I just meant she stuck me with you because she chose Kyle. And Keith,” he added with a mumble. “Zac, your mother didn’t choose Kyle over you. In case you didn’t notice Kyle is living with me now too, and it’s been a long time since he’s seen her as well.” “But he’s only been in the dark for four or five years. I’ve been in the dark since I was five.” “Your mother loved you, Zac,” Michael said with complete seriousness. “We were only married for a short time, but she was a good woman and I didn’t think it was possible for a mother to love her child as much as she loved you. I have reason to believe she didn’t want to just abandon you. But things happened, and if those things hadn’t happened you wouldn’t be sitting right here with me. That’s what’s important.” “So you’re rationalizing the fact she hasn’t seen me since I was five?” 137
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“It hasn’t been that long,” Michael stated. “Maybe in your memories you think that, but that’s because she wasn't an everyday part of your life like I was.” “When was the last time she saw me then?” “The court case when I got you back. She was with me every step of the way during the entire process when you lived with Maybell.” “Then why hasn’t she ever bothered to talk to me?” “Zac, did you ever think that maybe your mother is afraid of time? It’s been over ten years. Even if she still cared about you, don’t you think she would get nervous actually talking to you at this point?” “Ten years is a long time not to talk to someone,” he mumbled .“And that’s exactly what I’m saying. That would be your reaction if she tried. That would certainly make me nervous.” “Well, she only brought it on herself.” “Maybe you should call her. I’m sure she would want to talk to you, but doesn’t want to take the initiative.” “That’s not happening,” Zac stated. Michael smiled. “That’s my advice, Zac. Take it or leave it. There’s nothing I can do.” Zac was a bit irritated, but happy that his planned seemed to have worked. His father definitely looked like he felt sorry for him and he could now use that to his advantage. Of course he had no plans to call his mother. It had been way too long, and he certainly wouldn’t be the one calling her. Zac found himself in Kyle’s room, although he wasn’t sure why. He didn’t even stop to think what Kyle would do if he caught him. He was taken to the pictures that sat on Kyle’s wall. Kyle was big about photography and as a result there 138
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were hundreds of pictures taped to his wall of lots of people. Most were family, but some were friends such as him and his best friend, Craig. Zac saw a few of him, but he wasn’t smiling in any of them. He never responded well when Kyle tried to take a picture of him. He wasn’t focused on the pictures of him. He was looking at the pictures Kyle had of their mother. He saw lots of them. Most of them were of her just sitting at home and smiling when she realized he was taking a picture. Zac hadn’t seen her face in a while, and he could barely remember it. She had medium long, blond hair and her teeth were so straight Zac was sure she had braces as a child. She looked worn out in most of the pictures, and he only saw a couple where she was wearing makeup. There were also a couple with her and Kyle, both of them smiling like they were best friends. Zac sighed. He could say him and his dad were pretty close when he was younger, but he could never say that about him and his mother. He supposed they were when he was really little, but ever since she sent him to live with his dad it seemed as if he wasn’t important to her anymore and she was glad to get rid of him. He remembered the last time he had seen her. It was so long ago and so brief, he wasn’t sure if he remembered it correctly. His father had told him everything would be alright, and he had nothing to worry about, but he didn’t believe him. All these people were trying to talk to him and his father seemed really upset with whatever was going on. He didn’t understand it, but he was afraid for what would happen next. His father had gone in the courtroom with someone. He finally came out and Zac got up with a smile on his face. His father didn’t return it and walked away like he was really 139
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upset about something. Zac wasn’t sure what to do so he sat back down, wondering what was going on and when they would finally get to leave. He hated this place. Everyone seemed so sad. He sat there for a bit longer and was taken by surprise when a lady suddenly came up to him. She had short, blond hair and she was smiling at him. “Hello, Zac,” she said. “How are you?” He gave her a strange look. He didn’t know who she was, but she seemed to know him. ”Good,” he replied, not sure what else to say. She sat next to him and then he was a bit surprised when she gave him a hug. Surprisingly he didn’t pull away, although he wasn’t sure why. Did he know her somehow? She then gave him a kiss and another smile. “I love you, Zac,” she told him. “I always have, and I always will." Then she got up and left, looking like she was trying to stop tears. Zac sat there, not sure who she was or what just happened, but he didn’t want to lose the feeling of her touch. He knew her from somewhere; he just wasn’t sure where. He saw his dad come over and he was tempted to ask him, but then decided against it when he saw that he looked like he was trying to hold back tears himself. What was going on? What was with all the crying? His father came over and gave him a hug, but unlike the lady he didn’t let go. Zac was surprised, but he didn’t mind. He liked hugs from his father. He continued to stare at the pictures. He knew who she was now, but at the time he had no clue. He wondered why she 140
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just hugged him, seemed upset, and then left like she couldn’t talk to him anymore. It made him angry, and in the end she abandoned Kyle and Miranda too. It just didn’t seem like something a mother should do. Kyle suddenly walked in, and couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw Zac. “Zac?” he asked. “What are you doing in my room? You don’t see me walking in your room like I have every right. Get out.” Zac continued to stand there, staring at the pictures as if he hadn’t said anything. “What is your problem?” Kyle asked as he came over there. “I’ll be sure to return the favor next time you leave your door unlocked. Get out of my room before I make you get out. Let’s just see what dad has to say about this.” “Kyle,” Zac said, not paying the slightest bit of attention to what he had said, “what was mom like?” Kyle seemed surprised by this question. “So you come into my room without permission just to ask me about mom? Are you going through another one of your phases?” “I’m being serious. What was she like? I wouldn’t know.” Kyle sighed. “She was a great mom,” he said with a smile. “She was always so nice and caring. She was the best cook around and she gave out the best hugs. We were very close and I used to tell her everything. When I was sick she wouldn’t leave my side and she would hold me close, telling me she would take the pain on herself if she could. She was nice to everyone and for the longest time I was convinced I had the best mother in the world, and no one else could say otherwise.” He suddenly looked down. “That was before. She hasn’t spoken to me since she stopped sending those letters. 141
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You think your life is so hard, well dad was never around when I was a kid, and now mom’s not speaking to me.” “Mom was never around for me,” Zac mumbled. “Dad was, but mom wasn’t. At least you had Keith. I had no one other than dad.” “If you really count Keith,” Kyle said bitterly. “I called Keith dad, I spent lots of time with him doing things a father and son would do, and I believed everything he told me that I later found out was a lie only to have him leave me when he left mom. At least you didn’t have to go through that.” “Keith did a number on me too, and I never had someone to call mom. Carrie is the closest thing I’ll ever get.” “I was calling someone dad that didn’t really care,” Kyle said. “Who wins here, Zac?” “No one really wins.” “Then we can agree that your problems aren’t any worse than mine?” “Yeah, I think I can go with that.” “Glad we could have this talk,” Kyle said. “Now get out.” Zac smiled and then headed out the door. Kyle closed the door behind him and shook his head as he looked at the pictures of his mother. What made her any better than Keith? They had both abandoned him. Michael was in a thunder storm, and it was pouring rain. It was so dark he couldn’t see a thing, and had no idea how to get out of the storm. He tried calling for help, but didn’t see anyone. He continued, convinced someone would have to come and help him eventually. He kept walking through the pouring rain, wet, cold, and wanting to scream. What was going on? Where was he? 142
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He saw a figure in the distance. He got excited and walked over to it. A pair of green eyes was staring back at him. If he didn’t know any better he’d say he was looking at a reflection of himself. It took him a minute to see through the darkness and realize he wasn’t looking at himself, rather another person. “Dallin!” he shouted, a bit shocked. Dallin didn’t reply, rather just kept staring. “Where am I?” Michael asked. Still no reply. “Dallin, what’s going on here? Talk to me!” Dallin continued to stare, but then finally said something. “Who are you?” he asked. Michael stared at him in shock. “Who am I? What kind of question is that? I’m your brother!” “You’re not my brother,” Dallin said rather softly. “My brother looks nothing like you.” “Are you talking about George? He’s both of our brother's.” Dallin shook his head like he was disapproving a small child. He then walked away like he was done with their conversation. “Hey!” Michael called after him. “Where are you going? Do you know the way out?” But when Michael tried to find him again, he seemed to have vanished. “Don't just leave me here!” he shouted through the rain. “What’s your problem? It was you who was a jerk to me, not the other way around! I’m the victim here!” He was suddenly awoken by someone shaking him by the shoulders. “Michael, wake up,” he heard a voice say. 143
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He slowly opened his eyes and saw Carrie looked over at him. It must have been pretty late, because it was still dark out and Carrie looked really tired. “Are you alright?” she asked him. Michael sat up and looked around, trying to comprehend that was all just a dream and he was still in his bedroom, dry and sleeping next to Carrie. “I’m fine,” he replied. “It was just a bad dream was all. Sorry to wake you.” “Did you have another dream about your mother?” she asked, moving closer to him to try to make him feel better. “Yes,” Michael lied, not really wanting to explain to her what it was really about. He didn’t feel like talking about the complicated relationship with his other older brother. Michael wasn’t even sure she knew he existed. He had never mentioned him except to George when she wasn’t around. “What was it about? It must have been pretty bad, because you were thrashing around like crazy before I woke you up.” Michael put his arm around her. “Oh, it was just the usual. Really, don’t worry about it. You should go back to sleep.” His usual dreams consisted of seeing his mother, hearing her harsh voice, and then just crying. He was never sure why, because most of the time he didn’t even feel any pain. He just started crying randomly. Thankfully he wasn't the type of sleeper that portrayed what he was dreaming about when he slept, but he did thrash around a lot when he was having a bad dream, so it wasn’t hard to tell. “You should talk about it, Michael. It’s never going to go away if you don’t. You see your father every now and 144
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again, but you just won’t talk. Don’t you think there’s a problem?” “We have talked about it,” Michael told her. “We just haven’t talked about it recently, and it’s a taboo between the two of us now. Really, Carrie; I’m fine. Go back to sleep and don’t worry about it. I promise I won’t wake you up again.” “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she mumbled as she lied back down. She was really frustrated, just tired and wishing he would finally let go of his pride and talk about it. He also lied back down, but didn’t go to sleep. He was afraid to. So he just laid there with his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling and thinking to himself. When Carrie woke up the next morning Michael was out. She sighed and went into the bathroom to get ready for the day. After she had showered, did her makeup and hair, and got dressed Michael was awake. But she was a bit surprised because he was still in the room, sitting on the bed like he was thinking deeply about something. He hadn’t bothered to get dressed, and he didn’t look like he got a lot of sleep the night before. “Did you need the bathroom?” Carrie asked. It wasn’t like they had a shortage of bathrooms in this house. Carrie found the way he was acting rather strange. When Michael didn’t reply she came over and sat down next to him on the bed. “Hey, are you okay?” she asked, now kind of worried. “I’m fine,” Michael finally replied, seeming to have snapped out of something. “You’re not acting fine,” Carrie said as she attempted to grab his hand, but he pulled away. Michael sighed. “Carrie, I have something I should probably tell you.” “Is this about your mother?” 145
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“No,” he said as he shook his head. “It’s about my older brother.” “What about George?” she asked, wondering if there was some terrible secret she should know about him. He always seemed like a nice guy to her. “Not George. I’m talking about my other older brother.” “You have another older brother?” Carrie asked in shock. “What?” “Let me explain. He was a mama’s boy, so of course we never got along. He used to bully me to no end, although he never hurt me the way my mother did. He wasn’t too fond of my father or George, and he spent his days making my life difficult and playing in this garage band with his friends. "After my parents divorced he and my father stopped speaking. I saw him only once or twice during my teenage years. "After I came to work at the factory I ran into him a handful of times, but he hated working there so he usually stayed for a few months until he found some other job and then left only to come back again when he lost it. My father seemed to be at his beck and call, and he finally put his foot down after the whole situation with Zac, which shook all of us. "He and my father stopped talking completely after that and he put all his faith in my mother. The last time I heard from him was when I invited them all to my first concert after I became famous. I invited him personally, thinking now that I was famous he would finally give me a chance and start to like me like a brother should, but he broke my CD in half right in front of my face and told me I never deserved to become famous. I think he was a bit jealous since he had a band in high 146
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school that ended up falling through, plus they were really no good. "He then kicked me out of his house and told me I was headed down a long road of drugs, alcohol, and immoral behavior like every other star out there. It was kind of ironic because in the end he ended up becoming addicted to drugs and alcohol and he has a daughter with no wife. But that’s our story, and that’s where it ends sadly.” Carrie stared at him for a few minutes. “Michael, that doesn’t have to be where it ends,” she told him. “It’s been a long time. He’s sure he’s changed since then. He’s your brother. Even if you guys never got along you’re still related. How long can someone hold a grudge? If you’ve forgiven him I’m sure he’s forgiven you.” “You just don’t understand, Carrie. You’ve never had any siblings.” “That’s where you’re wrong,” she mumbled. Michael looked up at her in surprise. “What?” “You’re wrong,” she repeated. “I did have a sibling.” “Well, why haven’t you talked to them in so long then?” “He’s dead,” she stated. Michael suddenly felt bad. “Oh, Carrie, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that was what you meant. But, hey, I haven’t seen my brother in so long he might as well be dead.” That didn’t seem to make her feel any better. “All I'm saying is that you should make amends with him while you still have the chance. You don’t want him to leave you, or even you to leave him, with things that should have been said.” He nodded. “I’ll think about it, alright. But I would love to hear about this sibling you used to have.” 147
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“He was my older brother,” she said, seeming like it was painful to think about. “I was crazy about him. He died when I was in college.” “You went to college?” Michael asked in surprise. “I didn’t get a degree. I wanted to, but I dropped out because I had Emily.” Michael nodded. “Well, that’s too bad. But you know you can go back to school if you want to. I have plenty of money and I would completely support you.” She shook her head. “I would have to wait for Lorie to grow up a bit before I would even think about it. But it doesn’t matter. Having Emily might have ruined my first shot at the life I wanted, but I got another chance. Then I realized this was what I had wanted all along.” “Well, what happened to your brother?” “He has some medical problems. When I was growing up my parents were constantly taking him to the hospital and we all worried about him. But he was very smart and loved life. He always told me he didn’t know how long he would be here, but he wanted to make the most of it. The doctors were actually surprised he made it as long as he did, and when he was in the hospital, sick and on his deathbed, he wrote us a letter talking about all the great experiences he had in his twenty-eight year existence, how he was sad he was never married or had any children, how thankful he was for all my parents did for him as he grew up, and he told me to keep my head up high and I had a great future ahead of me.” “Did he ever find out about Emily?” Michael asked. Carrie sighed. “That’s just it. I was so down about him passing away that I practically went crazy, convincing myself nothing mattered anymore. I kept asking myself what would happen if I suddenly passed away now like he had. Would I 148
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have lived a great life? Would I have had some great experiences? Would I have done the things a normal person who died would have done? That’s when I went out. I went to the bar and had WAY too much. I never drank before that. My parents always strongly disapproved of it and I was the last person they were worried about when it came to trying it. But I was just so upset. That’s how I met Emily’s father. I told myself if I would have died now I wanted to say I lived a little. But I was stupid, because I didn’t stop to think the consequences of it that still affect me to this day.” Michael nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. “Emily’s an amazing girl and I wouldn’t change a thing if I could, but the way she was brought about was so sad. I wish I could have given her a father that was actually there.” “I’m here for her,” Michael said with a look. “I know,” Carrie smiled, "but I know you have something with Lorie that you don’t have with Miranda and Emily. I’m not mad at you for it, because I could say the same thing about Tyler.” Michael nodded. She was right, but that didn’t mean he didn’t consider her his daughter. It was just a little different. “I think you should at least call him,” Carrie said. Michael looked nervous. “Call him? We haven’t spoken in years. If I wanted to talk to him I think it would be better to speak to him in person. Just saying.” “Then speak to him in person.” “But I’m really busy. I mean I’m still preparing for my album coming out next year as well as having a family to raise. I’m not sure I can go all the way out to California.” Carrie rolled her eyes. “It sounds like someone’s trying to make excuses.” “I am not making excuses,” Michael said in defense. 149
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“Well, I won’t tell you what to do, but that’s my suggestion.” He nodded, thinking about what she said. It had been so long. Had he changed?
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Chapter Seven
When one door closes another opens
Z
ac couldn’t be happier once the break was
over and he could finally go back to school. Normally he would be disappointed, realizing the already small break had gone by so fast, but this year he had something to look forward to. He had Molly, and now that she had broken up with Brad, said she liked him too, and even kissed him! He was sure school would be much better. He felt a little embarrassed when he thought about that night and how big of an idiot he was. On the bright side, he got 151
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Molly to kiss him, but he told her he liked her, which was rather embarrassing. His arm was still killing him and he hadn’t got around to mentioning it to his father yet. He decided there would be no more drinking parties. Surely Molly would respect that, even if she didn’t agree with it. He got really lucky, and he wasn’t about to test to see how far his luck would go. “Welcome to chemistry,” Mrs. Leathlam said as she stood up in front of the class, seeming to be a bit happier with the break. This kind of surprised Zac, since it was very rarely he ever saw her happy. Sometimes he wondered why she even became a teacher, because she just seemed to hate teenagers. “I trust you’ve all had a great holiday and now you’re ready to get back to what matters most: learning.” No one seemed to give her the reaction she was expecting, and that seemed to shoot her mood down just a bit. “Now, as a little treat on this first day back I’ve decided to give you a lab. I know you all like labs more than bookwork.” The class tried to look excited, agreeing, but not wanting her to change her mind from their lack of enthusiasm. “Great. Now get with your lab partners and I’ll give you instructions from there.” Zac was the only one in the room that looked like he would rather be doing bookwork. He didn’t really mind chemistry, but at the beginning of the year Mrs. Leathlam had assigned lab partners completely randomly and he ended up with the one person he hated the most: Brad. He slowly headed over to their station, and immediately got a dirty look from Brad. “Hello, Zac,” he said coldly. He suddenly came up close to him, which Zac wasn’t 152
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expecting. “Now you listen to me,” Brad told Zac. “If you’re going to be the other guy who’s alright with kissing a girl that’s cheating on her boyfriend, fine, but I will get my revenge. When I do, you won’t like it.” Zac gave him a look back, trying to show no fear. “You were a jerk to her, Brad. She deserved better. It’s not about me being the other guy that’s alright with her cheating. I’m the other guy that gave her something better.” “Something better? Do you even know Molly? I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.” Zac blew him off. He didn’t know what he was talking about. Torrey came up to Mrs. Leathlam’s desk, rather nervous. “Mrs. Leathlam,” she said quietly. Mrs. Leathlam was shuffling through papers, trying to find the one with the lab on it. She didn’t pay the slightest bit of attention to Torrey. “Mrs. Leathlam,” Torrey repeated a little louder. She finally looked up at Torrey, giving her a look. “Yes, Mrs. Sanders?” she asked, growing impatient. “I just came to this school last month, and we haven't done a lab since then. I don’t have a partner.” Mrs. Leathlam looked a little irritated, as if this were somehow Torrey’s fault. “Very well then.” She looked around for a brief second and then looked back down at her papers. “Why don’t you go with Brad and Zac?” She nodded, feeling a little happy inside. Maybe this was her chance. Every guy fell for a pretty face, but that didn’t mean they didn’t know what their priorities were. She headed over there with a smile. Brad gave her a mean look, wondering what she wanted. “Hey, guys,” she said. “I’m your new lab partner.” “Goody,” Brad said sarcastically. 153
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“You’ll have to excuse Brad,” Zac told her. “Being a jerk to everyone is what he does best.” “Can it, Lonewell,” Brad said with another look. He would have gone further, but Mrs. Leathlam came over with their lab papers. “I don’t want any trouble with your boys today,” she told them. “I won’t hesitate to send you to the principal’s office.” They both nodded as she set their lab paper down. They tended to get into some pretty heated arguments during their labs, and Mrs. Leathlam was always annoyed by it. Maybe now that Torrey was there they would calm down a bit. “I think we should start with introductions,” Torrey suggested with a smile. “I’m Torrey Sanders. I believe I’ve run into Zac before, but I’ve never met you,” she told Brad. Brad gave her a look. “I’m Brad Thomas,” he told her with a smirk. “You’ve probably heard of me. I practically rule this school and my dad’s a legend.” She gave him a puzzled look. “No, I don’t believe I've heard of you or your father.” “Are you joking?” Brad asked in outrage. “I’m the king of this school. And my father’s a rich and famous movie actor by the name of Tristan Thomas. He’s played in many movies, including, ‘Where’s my murderer.’” Torrey thought that sounded like a stupid name for a movie, but she just nodded. “Well, he does sound pretty famous, I suppose, but I haven’t heard of him. I don’t watch a lot of movies. I just don’t have the time.” “Who’s never heard of Tristan Thomas?” Zac smirked, and then sought his chance. “I’m sure you’ve heard of Michael Lonewell,” Zac told her. 154
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Torrey smiled. “Well, of course I’ve heard of him. My mother’s a huge fan, and I think he has good music. It’s certainly better than most of the popular singers out there.” Zac nodded. “Well, he’s my father.” Torrey stared at him in shock. “Michael Lonewell is your father?” “Aw come on,” Brad whined. “Tristan Thomas is much more famous than some country singer. You’re clearly here by scholarship if you don’t know that.” She looked down, a bit embarrassed. That fact that she was here by scholarship seemed to put her to a lower level than everyone else, even just on the first day. It seemed most rich teenagers didn’t seem interested in even talking to her, let alone being her friend. She didn’t understand how someone’s financial status impacted what kind of person they were. Why couldn’t someone just give her a chance? “Brad, shut up,” Zac barked. “Just because your father paid for you to be here doesn’t mean someone who worked to get in here is lower than you.” Torrey looked up with a smile. Well, perhaps she judged him too soon. “Thank you, Zac,” she said. “I completely agree.” “He just says that to keep up with his reputation,” Brad mocked. “He’s the little innocent boy on the surface, but deep down he’s nothing but a jerk. Plus he’s a nerd himself. What was your last report card, Zac?” Zac gave him a look, looking like he was trying to keep from coming at him right then and there. “Hey, if you have a rich father and great grades I think that’s amazing,” Torrey said. “Yeah, Brad,” Zac said.
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Torrey looked at the clock, which was slowly ticking by. “But we should get to work, you guys. I want my first lab at this school to go well.” Zac nodded in agreement as Brad seemed to sit back. Zac shook his head, knowing Brad never did much to help him with the labs. At least now he had Torrey. Once the lab was over Torrey seemed happy with the results, telling Zac the entire time he was very smart and he could probably get in here by scholarship if he tried. She wasn’t too fond of Brad, and he wasn’t too fond of her. This pleased Zac, knowing someone else other than him and Pete finally couldn’t stand Brad. Torrey followed him out after class. “I was thinking,” she told him as they walked. “Maybe we should hang out together sometime. I mean I know we’re both busy, being we go to a private school and all, but I’m sure we can find some time.” Zac didn’t seem to be listening. His mind was clouded with thinking about lunch today. Would he try sitting by Molly? Would she allow him to, or would she find that weird? Did the kiss mean they were dating, or she just wanted to date him? Or maybe it didn’t mean anything. He was taken out of his faze by Pete coming up to him. “Hey, Zac,” he said. He looked over at Torrey. “Who’s she?” “Oh, this is Torrey,” he said, seeming to notice she was standing there for the first time. “She’s a girl in my chemistry class. Maybe you two should hang out. I have to go.” He got nervous thinking about lunch as he walked away. “Well, that wasn’t very nice,” Torrey mumbled. “Zac hasn’t been acting like himself lately,” Pete told her. “He has his mind clouded in this girl that I don’t think is 156
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really worth it. I just hope this doesn’t end as badly as I think it will.” “Molly Morgan,” Torrey half said, half mumbled. “Yep, that’s her. Do you two know each other?” “If by know each other you mean she’s a huge jerk, then yes.” Pete nodded in understanding. “Well, are you headed to lunch?” “Yeah,” she said with a smile. “Well, then how about we go together? I’m Pete Mongon by the way.” “I’m Torrey Sanders. Nice to meet you, Pete.” They both headed to lunch. She was sure Zac was the answer she was looking for. She just had to be patient. [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] Amy stared at the phone. She was going to do this. She had to do this. She owed them at least an explanation after all these years. She wanted to let them know she still cared. She just wanted to see how they were doing. She had to do this. She stared at the phone for a little while longer. He was famous! How could she do this? Why would they even care? Would they just hang up? What would be his reaction after hearing her voice after all these years? Would he be bitter and refuse to let her talk to the kids, convinced she didn’t deserve to since he had raised them for all these years? She made herself dial the number. Then she closed her eyes as she heard it ring. Would they even answer? But it only rang a few times until she heard the familiar, “We’re sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is not available right now. Please hang up and try again.” She immediately hung up. Had their phone been disconnected? Of course it had! He was famous. She was sure 157
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disconnecting their phone was a yearly, if not even less, routine. She set her head on the table and started to cry. Now she had just lost all hope of ever speaking to them again. Even if they did meet up down the road, they lived clear in Rhode Island! It could be awhile. Mark came in, noticing she was crying. “Amy, what's wrong?” he asked her. “Their number’s been disconnected,” she replied through tears. “It’s over. Mark sighed and sat down on the table next to her. She was still crying, not even bothering to look up and look at him. “Amy, it’s not over. How hard could it be to get a number? You can look it up somewhere. I’m sure it has to be in some kind of phone book or something. They're your children. You can do it.” Amy shook her head. “You don’t understand, Mark.” “What don’t I understand?” “You just don’t understand, alright,” she barked, finally looking up. “How about I help you find their number? I can talk to some people. If you can provide proof they’re your children they should have no problems giving you their number. You’re just worrying about this too much.” “No, I’m not!” she shouted. “He’s famous, Mark!” Mark stared at her. “What do you mean?” he asked. She started to cry again and then looked back down so she wouldn’t have to see his face. “He’s famous. I’m sure you’ve heard of Michael Lonewell. He’s my ex-husband and the father of my children.” She couldn’t see his face, but she didn’t want to. “Amy, this is serious," he stated. 158
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“I am being serious,” she said, finally looking him in the eyes. “He wasn’t famous when I married him. He was just a man with a dream that I never really supported as much as I should have. We loved each other, but we were far too young to know what real love was. We ended up divorcing two children and five years later, and then he took on my daughter later in his life. He was a great man, and I know he takes care of my children. No one deserved to be famous as much as he did. When we were married I thought he had his head in the clouds, but I guess he proved me wrong.” “Amy, how can you expect me to believe something like this?” Amy sighed. She stood up. Mark thought she was going to go into her bedroom to cry some more and then yell at him later for not trusting her enough, but only a few minutes later she came back with a scrapbook. She slapped it in front of him and opened it up to the first page. There was a big picture of her, looking much younger and very beautiful, in a simple, white wedding dress. She had some flowers in one of her hands, and she was smiling like this was the best day of her life. Standing next to her was a young man that looked very handsome. He had kind of a gappy smile, and didn’t look anywhere near as confident as Amy did. He had to stare at the picture for a while, because he didn’t believe his eyes. The guys certainly looked like Michael Lonewell, just younger. But when he pictured Michael Lonewell he pictured the amazingly talented guy that got up in front of millions of people. This guy looked nothing like that. “I thought you said your ex-husband was horrible to you and destroyed your family,” Mark finally said. Amy shook her head. “That was Keith. I’ve been married two times before you,” she said shamefully. “I’m sorry if that bothers you.” 159
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Well, to be honest, it kind of did. She had been married twice? Was he just another number, or did she honestly love him? She gave valid reasons for both of them, but what if their love was just a fling as well? “Why didn’t you mention this before?” he asked. “We’ve been together for over a year and you couldn’t find a spare moment to tell me your ex-husband was Michael Lonewell?” “I didn’t think you would believe me. I don’t think I would believe you if you told me something like that. I’m sorry, but I didn’t know how to tell you.” “He’s a millionaire, Amy. How did he end up like this and you ended up married to someone like me?” Amy sighed. “I love you, Mark. It’s not about the money.” “You didn’t answer my question,” he said with a look. “Well, he didn’t become famous until after we divorced. I had one child and he had the other, so there was no child support. We actually made more money than him at the time, because he didn’t remarry for a long time. I tried to give him alimony but he refused to accept it, telling me he didn’t need my money. And before we made the switch with the children he wasn’t paying child support at all. You know the whole story with Keith and how I ended up on the street. Then I married you and now we live better, but certainly not the best. He doesn’t owe me any money. If anything I owe him money because I haven't been paying child support for the past five years.” Mark continued to stare at her. “This is crazy. Are you saying we live in a run-down apartment while your children live it up in the Hollywood life?” 160
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“Well, Michael’s a country singer, so his morals are a little better, but I suppose.” Mark shook his head and stood up, looking rather frustrated. How could this be happening? “Mark, I want to talk to my children again. I have to at least let them know I still care.” “Well, I don’t know what to tell you at this point. Do you think they give out celebrity’s numbers to just anyone? Good luck.” She shook her head. “Well, thanks for the help,” she mumbled, now being just as upset as Mark. “Alright, I’m sorry, but I really don’t know how to help you. But if he was your ex-husband surely there’s something you can do. He’s raising your children, and you have proof that you guys used to be married. You just have to think outside the box. With proof there has to be something.” Amy suddenly got a flash of inspiration. But then she grew nervous. Was she really thinking about this? “What?” Mark asked when he saw her face. “Well, I have an idea. I might know someone who can help me out.” “Who?” Mark asked, sounding rather excited. He wondered if this person was rich. Did Amy know a lot of rich people that he didn’t know about? “Michael has a brother. He’s a really nice guy who I used to know very well back when Michael and I used to be married. He still lives out in California.” “Great. Do you have an address?” “Well, no,” Amy said nervously. “At least not for his house.” She sighed and then went into the living room. She took off their old blanket they used as a window covering and stared outside. 161
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“Amy, are you getting sidetracked? How are you going to talk to him if you don’t even know where he lives?” “That’s where he works,” she said as she pointed outside. “Michael’s father owns it. Michael worked there for a while too, but has no need to now.” Mark looked at what she was pointing at. It was hard to miss. It was a giant factory. He always hated that they lived right behind a factory. It made loud noises and wasn't a very pleasant view. But these apartments weren’t top of the line anyway. He never did figure out what they made there. “His father owns the factory behind our apartment? Well, who would have guessed? You would think if they were connected to Michael Lonewell they would advertise it more.” “You would have to know his father to understand,” she mumbled. “Well, when are you going to go?” She shuttered. “I don’t know right now, but I’ll figure it out. His family’s nice. I’m sure they’ll help me out.” Mark nodded. If she was telling the truth, he wondered what would become of this. He knew he didn’t owe her any money, but being married to and having children with someone who was now famous had to mean something. He was hoping it would mean something good. They had been in debt for far too long, and he was also hoping this was what Amy needed to get her head held up higher. She had seemed kind of down lately. Once the marriage high wore off she started to get really depressed. Now he knew the reason why. [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] Michael came up to Carrie one morning while she was making breakfast. “I’ve thought about what you said,” he told 162
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her, "and I’ve decided you’re right. I’m going out to California next week. I don’t want this to be the end.” She gave him a smile. “Well, that’s wonderful, Michael. But what about the kid’s school?” “Well, that’s just it. I was hoping to go alone.” Carrie gave him a look. “Six children is a lot to deal with while you’re across the country for who knows how long. I know I’m luckier than most women because you’re famous and are home a lot, but this will be more than a couple hours or even a day when you’re really busy.” “I know,” he sighed. “Hey, I’ll make it up to you. When I get back I’ll take you to the fanciest restaurant you can think of. You’ll be kid free with great food. She laughed. “Fine, but only because this is about your brother that you haven’t seen in many years. Any other circumstance would have resulted in a no.” “I can deal with that,” he said with a smile. They kissed as Lorie walked in. “Ew,” she said with a look. Carrie laughed as her and Michael stopped kissing. “Sorry, honey,” she said with a smile. Lorie continued to give them a look as she walked out. “She is so cute.” “Well, she has your genes.” “Was that supposed to be a compliment?” “Yes, it was.” She laughed and then went back to her cooking. She figured she shouldn’t worry. Michael had enough money he could just use a jet to get to California and then be back in only a day. If everything went well with his brother he might stay a bit longer, otherwise she would barely know he was gone. Of course she wasn’t hoping everything wouldn’t go well. She 163
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thought it would be great if he could reunite with his brother, and she certainly wouldn’t complain. Torrey spent hours on her hair that morning, convinced Zac would be sure to notice her if she tried a bit more. She put her hair up in a French braid and then put some makeup on. She smiled at herself in the mirror as she added the final touch, a pair of earrings. Of course they were just cheap ones, but she was sure he would notice. He just had to look past the fact she wasn’t rich like her. She also had on her favorite pair of jeans and a shirt that flattened her stomach. He HAD to notice her. Unfortunately they didn’t have a lab in chemistry, and Zac didn’t seem to even recognize her existence as class went on. She told herself he was just in learning mode and they were on the opposite ends of the room. Once lunchtime came around she decided she was going to make her move. She used her new found friendship with Pete to get to his table, waiting for him to show up. “Thanks, Pete,” she told him with a smile. “I’m new here, and making friends hasn’t exactly been easy. I'm glad to finally have someone to sit by.” “I’ve lived here all my life,” Pete said a little sully. “But Zac hasn’t. I remember when we first met. We’re next door neighbors, you know.” “Really?” she asked, a bit surprised. “Yep. She and my mother have been friends longer than we have, and that’s saying a lot. Our parents pushed for us to become friends because we were both kind of in your same boat. But look at what we are now. We hang out all the time.”
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“That’s awesome,” she said with a nod. But there was something she was dying to know about Pete. “So if you hang out with someone like Zac, are you here by scholarship?” Pete laughed. “No,” he replied. “Let’s just say Zac and I are about the same in financial status. We live in about the same size house and we get about the same presents every year for Christmas.” She stared at him. Of course. Why did she think there was some hope? But then again, at least he was giving her the time of day. No one else had bothered. “So what do your parents do for a living?” He looked a bit nervous. “Well, my father’s into politics." “Is he the mayor?” she asked, a light suddenly filling her eyes. “Oh, he’s a bit bigger than that,” Pete mumbled. "A senator?” she asked in shock. “Try the governor.” She just stared at him. “Are you kidding me?” “I wish,” Pete mumbled. “What do you mean? Don’t you love that he’s the governor?” “Well, he’s never home. I’m lucky to see him once a month when he’s supposed to live with me.” “That’s so sad. I’m sorry. But I bet he has a lot on his plate.” “Yeah,” Pete mumbled. Torrey had been so distracted with Pete she didn’t realize Zac wasn’t here yet. “Where’s Zac?” she asked. Pete shook his head. “He’s probably with his new girlfriend.” Torrey looked a little hurt. “He has a girlfriend?” 165
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“Well, not officially, but he could have fooled me.” Torrey looked distressed. He couldn’t have a girlfriend. How did she miss that? “What’s her name?” she asked casually, trying to pretend like she really didn’t care. Luckily Pete didn’t seem to catch on. “Molly. You know that girl who thinks she runs the school? He likes her, and now that she broke up with Brad Zac thinks he stands a chance.” Torrey tried not to look dejected. That had completely destroyed all her plans. He couldn’t like someone else, and certainly not some snob that thought she ruled the school. She thought he was different, but maybe she was wrong. “Well, that’s too bad he’s going too crazy over nothing more than a pretty face.” Pete gave her a look, finally catching something. “Do I hear jealousy in your voice?” he asked with a smirk “No,” she said quickly. Pete laughed. “Torrey, Zac’s a nice guy. He’s just a teenage boy. That’s what we do.” She shook her head. “Whatever, Pete.” She was feeling a bit dejected for the rest of the day. She couldn’t believe Zac liked a girl like Molly. If he really didn’t look down upon people here by scholarship why would he date someone like her? Then again, maybe he was one of those people who said they weren’t lower than him, but then wouldn’t date them or even be their friend. Had she been misreading the signs? She kind of gave Pete the silent treatment for the rest of the day, and he was trying to figure out what he did. “Did I say something to offend you?” Pete asked. 166
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“No, it’s fine,” she told him, trying to brush him off as though she would a dog. “I just have a lot of homework to do and I really need to get home.” “You’ve been acting like you’ve been trying to avoid me. What did I do?” “Nothing,” she repeated. “Please, just leave me alone.” Pete sighed and then nodded, not wanting to make her mad. He walked off, feeling rather sad inside. He had been hoping… But it was Zac she liked. But he didn’t want to see her fall, because with how empty headed Zac was sometimes, he had a feeling this would end badly. Torrey came home and cried. She had thought just for a minute there was some hope with rich people. But she was wrong. She just needed to find some friends that came by scholarship, and then she needed to stick with them. Maybe she would never end up being related to someone famous, or even having a rich boyfriend, but she would have someone that loved her for her. That wouldn’t be Zac. She understood that now, and she finally accepted it.
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Chapter Eight
Dallin Lonewell
A
s Michael said goodbye to Carrie he could
feel his hands begin to get sweaty. Was he really going to do this? Was it really worth it? “Hey, cheer up,” Carrie told him, reading his face. “You haven’t seen the guy since he broke your hard earned CD in half. I’m sure he’s still going to be bitter about how famous you are while he’s far from it, but he’s your brother.
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Somewhere deep down you’ll find that. Don’t think that doesn’t matter, because it does.” “Carrie, you have to remember that the family you grew up in is nothing like the family I grew up in. Hate was very common with my family, and for some people, like me and my mother, forgiveness with never happen. You have to understand. He may not even care that I come to see him, just tell me to go away, and that he wants nothing more to do with me.” “If he does then at least you can say you tried. He’s your brother, so no matter what he does you can’t give up.” Michael nodded, not sure if he believed her words. If he didn’t want anything to do with him he wasn’t sure he would try again. It wouldn’t be worth it. Carrie drove him down to the airport, refusing to let him drive. “You always drive whenever we go anywhere,” she told him. “It’s my turn.” He wanted to protest. He had always liked driving. Since he got his first car he always told himself he would die if he ever got his license taken away. Almost twenty years later he still stood by that. She gave him one last kiss before they left. “I love you, and I’m sure he loves you too.” Michael shook his head. She was being way too optimistic about this. As he boarded the plane he could feel his heart pounding. What would happen? Would he be mad he showed up without even a warning? Would he get nailed by the paparazzi and have to admit he was his brother, angering Dallin? Or maybe he would like all the attention.
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He tried not to think about it as the plane took off. Hopefully all his fears would be wrong, and Dallin had in fact changed. [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] Amy was super nervous. Was she really going to do this? She hadn’t seen him in years, and she was sure Michael had told him all sorts of things about her so he wouldn’t even want to talk to her. She knew she wasn’t perfect, but if she wanted to see her children again she had to do this. Surely he would be willing to at least give her Michael’s number. She was standing outside Lonewell Industries. She had no plans to go in. That would be weird, and she was sure George wouldn’t tell her anything if she did that. However, she planned to wait outside until George got off. When she did she would tag him down. He might find it a little weird, but what choice did she have at this point? She just needed to talk to him. She stood there for a while, trying to get her thoughts in order. How long was his shift? She assumed he worked until about six, but she honestly had no idea. She had to hide behind the wall because all these workers kept coming out and she didn’t want to look weird. Well, at least when they saw her. Just when she thought about leaving, telling herself she was way over her head here and she obviously had to think of another way, she saw someone with blonde hair come out. She got nervous and then peered through the wall to see George. He seemed deep in thought about something, but she didn’t really care what it was. Well, it was now or never. She stepped in front of him. He seemed to look up like he was going to tell her to get out of the way, but then lost his 170
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train of thought when he realized who it was. He just stared at her, not believing his eyes. “Amy?” he asked. “Hello, George,” she said with a smile, thankful he had recognized her. That made her life so much easier. “What are you doing here? Do you still live in California?” “I never left. I need to talk to you.” “Is this about Michael?” he asked. “Well, sort of. I know it’s been awhile, but I want to fix some things. But Michael’s famous now, and just picking up a phone and calling him isn’t exactly easy. I was hoping you could help me out.” George sighed. “You mean to tell me you haven’t even had Michael’s number all these years?” “Hey, it wasn’t my fault. I mean I had it, but it was disconnected.” “Michael’s famous. He can’t keep a number for too long. But if you honestly never tried the number you had until now, that’s kind of sad.” She sighed in annoyance. “Are you going to help me or not?” “I would love to, but I don’t know what I can really do. I don’t want Michael mad at me.” “They’re just as much my children are they are his, so he’ll deal with it. I just want a valid number for him.” George shook his head. “Fine, but if Michael gets angry it wasn’t my fault. All I did was give you his number.” He wrote his number down on a piece of paper. How he had it memorized was beyond her, especially if he was always changing it. 171
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“This is his home number,” he explained. “Michael made me swear I would never give anyone his cell phone, and I’m pretty sure you count. Good luck,” he told her with a smile. “Goodbye. Perhaps I’ll see you around.” She nodded as he left. She stared at the number on the piece of paper as if it were pure gold. She finally had something! She held it close, telling herself things were finally going to change now. [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] It took Michael a good two hours to find Dallin’s house. Once he did he was a bit surprised. It was super tiny, falling apart, and had a small and beat up car in the driveway. Then again, maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised. This was Dallin he was talking about. He had always been a slacker. He wasn’t even sure where he was working now because he always worked at the factory before and he knew he wasn’t working there now. He braced himself and knocked on the door. He heard the sound of footsteps, and then the door was opened a bit faster than he was expecting for someone like Dallin. What came next surprised him even more. He wasn’t looking up at Dallin, rather a teenage girl. She had long, dark hair and brown eyes. She gave him a look, as if wondering what he was doing here. “Does Dallin live here?” Michael asked, afraid he got the wrong house. She gave him a weird look, and then nodded. “Who are you? He doesn’t really like to answer the door.” Michael studied her, trying to figure out who she was. Certainly she couldn’t be his wife or girlfriend. He would have 172
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heard if he got married, and he highly doubted even he would go for someone that young. Even if his eyes were deceiving him and she was in her twenties, that was still a little much for Dallin. Then it hit him. She was Bobbie! Many years ago, when he first married Amy and found out she was pregnant with Zac, crazy things were going on in the family. Even though Zac was the oldest grandchild, Michael was the youngest boy so George and especially Dallin got kind of jealous. Even though Amy had been the first to get pregnant, Michael was so afraid to mention this to his family George was the first to announce his wife’s pregnancy. Only later did Michael finally admit Amy wasn’t just getting fat. Mere weeks later Dallin told everyone his girlfriend was pregnant, which didn’t get the reaction he was hoping for. He hadn’t seen Dallin in a while, but he had heard from George his girlfriend left him when she became pregnant, telling him he wasn’t father material, and he only saw his daughter every once in a while. Was this one of those weekends? He had only met her a few times, and none of them were recently. “You must be Bobbie,” Michael said with a smile. She gave her a creeped-out look. He laughed. “I’m Michael, your father’s younger brother. Does he ever talk about me?” She studied him and then shook her head. “I thought he only had one younger brother.” “No, two. Your father and I haven’t spoken in a while, but I thought I’d stop by. Can I come in?” She moved away from the door, inviting him in. She had a feeling her father wouldn’t be too happy about this, but she didn’t care. He would get over it. So as long as he was telling the truth and he wasn’t just some idiot here to steal their stuff. In this neighborhood nothing would surprise her. 173
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Michael looked around. His house smelled kind of funny, and his furniture wasn’t much to look at. Bobbie, however, had on decent clothes and her hair looked nice. He wondered if she worked for her own money or if Dallin had finally changed enough to know where his priorities were. Or maybe her mother bought her those clothes. He wasn’t sure. He got nervous when he heard someone come down, and he didn’t have to guess to know that it was Dallin. At first he looked like he was going to come down there and pop him one, but then he stopped dead in his tracks and stared. Michael was a bit happy, thinking he had in fact changed and now he was going to welcome him with open arms, apologizing for all that happened when they were kids and telling him he wanted to be back in his life. But of course that wasn’t what happened. After the shock had worn off Dallin didn’t look very happy. “What are you doing here?” he asked coldly. Michael sighed. Well, apparently he was still bitter. “I just wanted to talk. It’s been so long, and I thought now was a good time. How is your life going? I see your daughter’s down for the weekend. How has that been?” Instead of answering him Dallin just continued to give him a cold look, as if he had asked him why his girlfriend had just left him and took his daughter. “I’m not here for the weekend,” Bobbie stated, giving him a look as well but not nearly as bad as the one Dallin was giving him. “I live here now.” Michael was a bit surprised by this, but kind of afraid to ask why. What had happened to her mother? Now he felt kind of foolish. “Well, that’s great,” he said with a smile. “See, 174
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I don’t know these things because we haven’t spoken in so long.” If he was going for sympathy, it wasn’t working. “Michael, go away,” Dallin said rather rudely. “Go back to your perfect house on the hill with your perfect family.” “I came all the way down here just to talk to you, and this is how you act? You of all people should know I don’t have a perfect family, and remember that you’re a part of that family.” “Not legally,” he mumbled. Michael gave him a look, daring him to bring that up. “Listen, I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but we're both grown up now and that means we act more maturely. I mean you have custody of your daughter now. I think that’s amazing, and it's a big step toward the future.” “Are you implying I wasn’t responsible enough before?” Dallin asked, starting to get a bit angry “Of course not,” Michael said quickly. “I just think it’s great you have custody of her now. You never had her before.” “Because of her mother. For your information Sarah died a few years back. I have her because Sarah’s gone.” Michael wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He turned around and saw Bobbie was giving him an evil eye. He wasn’t sure what to say at this point. “Well, either way it’s great. I just thought we should catch up, you know. I can see your life’s going alright. What else has been going on?” Dallin seemed to be thinking carefully about what he was going to say. “Listen, the fact of the matter is you’re this big shot with tons of money and fame, while I’m a loser living in a rundown house with no wife and hardly any family. 175
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That’s all there is to it. Now if you’ll leave we can both get on with our lives.” Michael was now the one who looked annoyed. “Just because I’m rich doesn’t mean I’m not the same person I was before. Nothing has changed except my financial status and the fact I have a family now. And I’m famous. I thought you would want to hear some things that have been going on with me.” “Not really,” he said coldly. “I could care less about Hollywood life. I have my own problems to worry about.” “What about the kids?” Michael said, going for his last and kind of pathetic shot. “If you really don’t want to talk to me because you’re convinced I’m rich and all that, what about Bobbie meeting her cousins? I don’t know if you heard, but I have six children, and two of them are around her age. Don’t you think they should meet each other and know they have another cousin?” “Can’t control your hormones, I see,” he mumbled, not paying the slightest bit of attention to what he said about the cousins meeting each other. Michael gave him a look. “They’re all from two women. Plus one of them was adopted and another is my stepchild. It has nothing to do with hormones. At least I was married.” That triggered something in Dallin, and Bobbie sensed this would end badly. “I make one mistake and you and dad act like I’ve destroyed everyone’s life. The only life I destroyed was my own, and I don’t need you and dad acting like you’re responsible for me or something. I can take care of myself. Besides, who are you to be talking? At least I didn’t knock up a girl straight out of high school.” 176
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“Amy was not knocked up,” Michael said in outrage. “We were married. We got married really early and Zac was kind of a surprise to us, but she was not knocked up. You’re just jealous because I’ve accomplished all that you dreamed of accomplishing when you and mom never thought I would be worth anything.” “So what, you’ve come to rub it in my face that you're an international superstar now? Oh, wait, you do country. You’re not a superstar,” he mocked. “No, I came to talk, but now I can see you’re not interested.” He turned around and headed toward the door. “We’ve been fighting for way too long, Dallin,” he said as he held the doorknob, wanting to get one last word in. “I’ve forgiven dad and George, and if you would just give me the chance I would forgive you too." When Dallin didn’t reply he walked out. He got into his car and pounded on the dashboard. He hadn’t changed a bit. He was still as jealous as ever, and he still hated him. It wasn’t right. Why did he have to be so much like their mother? He stopped by George’s house afterwards, not really wanting to go home right now to tell Carrie this had all been a waste of time and had actually done more harm than good because they got into a fight. George was surprised to see him. “Hello, Michael,” he said in shock. “I didn’t know you were out in California. Are Carrie and everyone else with you?” “No,” Michael replied, seeming to be really upset about something and George could tell. “I just came down here for a day. I just got done talking to Dallin.” George sighed. “Oh, boy. Alright, come in.” Michael walked into his rather small living room. It was nothing like Dallin’s, but it was far from big. It was just a 177
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good thing he only had two children because he was convinced this house wasn’t even big enough for the four of them, let alone even more. “So, how did it go?” George asked, kind of already knowing the answer. “Terrible,” Michael sighed. “I came to make amends and catch up with him, but all I ended up doing was getting into a fight. He’s just so set on his ways. Why can’t he just see that I’m trying? He’s not even willing to give me a chance and sometimes I feel he doesn’t consider me his brother anymore.” “That’s not true,” George stated. “Dallin’s just jealous, Michael. Your rich and he practically lives in poverty. You have a great family with a wonderful wife, while he’s never been married, and he just got the daughter his ex-girlfriend was difficult about back. I’m not saying that makes you better than him; I’m just saying he’s jealous and bitter. You have to understand. Besides, you have no idea what kind of lies our mother filled his head with. He was always a mama’s boy, so he believed most everything she said while I tended to question everything she said. You can’t blame him completely.” Michael shook his head. “Well, I kept telling myself someday he would come around, but it’s been over thirty years and he still hasn’t come around. I’m beginning to give up hope.” “Don’t give up hope yet. He’s accomplished more in the past couple years than dad ever thought he would. He even has a job now that’s he kept for a while. That’s a new record for him. If he keeps this up I say it’s only a matter of time before he comes around. Just remember what happened when you became famous. You gave up for the longest time, convinced it would never happen, but then you came back full 178
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force and told yourself you would do it. It took a while after that, but it finally happened with all your hard work. The same principal applies to Dallin.” Michael laughed. “Whatever you say, George. I guess I came out for nothing.” “You’re famous. You probably have a jet you can just fly down here whenever you want.” “Which costs gas and takes time away from my family,” Michael pointed out. “That's still better than average people who have to take a huge plane with everyone else.” “Well, I should go. I just wanted to vent before I had to go home and face Carrie when I tell her everything that happened.” “I’m sure she’ll understand. I mean did you honestly expect it to go perfect?” “Not really,” Michael sighed as he stood up. “Wait,” George said as Michael sat back down. “I have news for you. Guess who I ran into today?” Michael gave him a blank look. “Katy Perry?” Michael joked. “Did you tell her what I said?” George rolled his eyes. “This is serious, Michael. I ran into Amy.” Michael stared for a minute. “Amy? You mean as in my ex-wife Amy?” “Who else? She told me she had never left California, and it had been so long so she wanted to speak to the kids again. I gave her your number. I hope you don’t mind. It wasn't your cell. I remembered what you told me." Michael continued to stare. “You gave Amy my phone number? George, the woman practically abandoned her children. It’s been hard on them. You should have asked first.” 179
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“Well, they’re her children too. I felt like she deserved to have it, even if she hadn’t spoken to them in a while. Besides, I’m not seeing Amy as the type of person to keep bugging you if you tell her you and the kids don’t want anything to do with her. She would probably just cry and leave you alone.” Well, he was right. “I don’t even know what to say to her. And what about the kids? They would probably be upset if I told them she suddenly wanted to talk to them again after not being in their lives for almost six years.” “They would be upset, or you would be upset?” George asked with a look. Michael gave him a cold look. “It doesn’t matter. You just better hope they won’t be upset about this, or the blame will fall on you.” “I’m cool with that,” he said with a smile. Instead of going home that night he just bought a hotel room. His head was buzzing with way too much for him to go home tonight. He couldn’t believe Amy was planning on calling him. He knew she cared about them and sent them to live with him because she had no other option, but six years was a long time not to talk to someone, even if he was famous. She could have done something before now if she really wanted to. They were her children after all. But he was also thinking about Dallin. George was right about him giving up on his dream for the longest time, only to come back and with a little hard work and finally achieved it. Was the situation with Dallin really the same? If he gave up now and came back later, would Dallin finally budge? It didn’t seem very likely. Dallin was just like his mother, except a little less violent, and he knew his mother could never admit she was wrong. 180
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That was all he had wanted from her. All those years he refused to speak to her, he would have if she would have just apologized. But she wouldn’t do it. All those years of misery and everything he went through, both before and after the fact, just for her to hold her pride and still tell him it was somehow his fault. He felt tears come to his eyes. He tried to focus on the road as he went into another episode. He was up in his room reading a book. He smiled. He loved reading. It could transport him to a better place than this one. He would do anything to go inside one of his books. He would be so much better than being here. They were all downstairs eating dinner. Michael downstairs later and his father would give him some food without his mother knowing. If that wasn’t possible, he went to his backup plan: George. George was really sneaky and hated seeing him go hungry, just like his father, so he was always willing to get a little food for him and bring it upstairs. But that planned often failed as well, and over time George was less willing to do it for fear of what his mother would dish out if she caught him. Michael didn’t understand what the big deal was. Anything she had ever done to him was nothing compared to what she had done to Michael. He had it good. He went hungry a lot more than a child should, and oftentimes was too nervous to ask his father for lunch money so he often with without breakfast and lunch as well. Of course his father was always willing to give it to him, but he was such a timid child and he didn’t have the best relationship with his father. He didn’t understand why he let this happen, and as a result he always found it hard to talk to him. 181
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He focused on his book, trying to ignore the pains in his stomach. He had breakfast today, but skipped out on lunch because he wanted to save the meal for a better time. He hoped they ate quickly so he could go downstairs and by some chance get his father alone. But more often than not that didn’t happen, so he wasn’t giving his hopes up. He jumped when he heard the doorbell ring. Who would be coming to visit them? Sometimes they had mean neighbors come to their house and complain about something Dallin did, but they never had family visit because they always came to visit them, and friends were just completely out of the question. His mother wasn’t a “friend” person, and his father had been so dedicated to her since the day they got married all his friends kind of left him. George didn’t have many, if any, friends, and Dallin only had a simple garage band that he called his friends. But they didn’t usually come over at this time of day. He peered through his doorframe, wanting to hear a bit better but not being able to see. He thought of neighbors and wondered what Dallin did this time. He always found the stories rather funny. His mother always blew them off like it had been a complete accident, even though it never was, while his father always yelled like crazy and told him if he didn’t take control of his life it wouldn’t end up well. Dallin always blew him off. That was the reason he was such a mama’s boy. She was convinced he was perfect, while his father put his foot down. The only person he never disciplined was Michael, but that was because his mother gave him more than he deserved as it was. “Can I help you?” he heard his mother ask rather rudely. 182
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“My name is Mallory Evergreen, and I’ve been sent by the state to check some things out. Do you mind if I come in?” Michael didn’t have to see his parent’s faces to know that this was bad. They had neighbors putting their noses in their business from time to time, but nothing serious like this. He had a feeling this would be a lot worse than when the nurse at the school asked him about his parents. “What is this about?” his mother asked. “Do you have a warrant? If you don’t, I suggest you get out before I make you.” Michael came down more and got a glimpse of her writing something down on her clipboard. “Whatever you just wrote, erase it,” his mother demanded. “This is my house and you can’t just come barging in.” “Joanne,” Derek said in concern, knowing she was just making them look bad. “She just doesn’t think you should be here unless you have a valid reason,” he told the woman. She looked at him with an annoyed expression. “I’m here on a complaint,” she told them. “Our neighbors hate us, alright,” Joanne said. “They like to make up stories. It’s nothing to worry about. I’m sure there are plenty of others who you would be interrogating before you come and bother us. We’re a great family.” “I’m here on a complaint received from the school, ma'am,” she said with almost no expression. Derek looked really worried by this point, while Joanne looked ready to yell again. “This won’t take long,” she told them as she invited herself in. “If you have nothing to hide you should have nothing to worry about.” By this point he had been spotted, and his mother didn’t look very happy. He was about to book it up the stairs, 183
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afraid for what she would do, but then realized he was safe for the time being because she wouldn’t dare do anything in front of whoever this lady was. “Are you Michael?” she asked him with a smile. She hadn’t been smiling when she was talking to his parents. Michael nodded, although he didn’t say a word. “What business do you have with him?” his mother asked. “I can assure you Michael just likes to make up stories. He likes attention, and he can never seem to get enough of it. Whatever he said isn’t true.” She gave her a look. “Ma’am, if you’re not going to calm down I might just have to call someone else to help me out. You’re just making yourself look worse, so cut it out if you don’t want this to get messy.” That finally shut her up, and she just folded her arms in silence. Michael felt a little special. If she truly didn’t care about him she wouldn’t have put up the fight. He always wondered if she would care if someone took him away, but knew that deep down she would. She gave birth to him. Surely there had to be some love there. His father seemed intent on convincing this woman they all weren’t crazy like his mother. “I can show you around the house,” he told her. “I can assure you we have nothing to hide.” “I just need to look around to make sure there’s no obvious thing that will make me think something is going on. Then I have a couple of questions and if all goes well I’ll be gone in less than an hour.” He swore he heard his mother mumble, “Good,” but the lady didn’t seem to catch on. She started to look around. He was sure she wouldn't find anything. His mother might have had a temper, but she 184
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wasn’t lazy. The house was always spotless, he shared a room with George so there wasn’t much to worry about there, and she always insisted he didn’t go to school looking like a homeless child so he always had decent clothes, just like his other siblings. As she looked around she wrote things down on her clipboard, making Derek nervous. He tried not to act like he had anything to hide, but he was doing a poor job at it. At least he wasn’t shouting at her like his mother was. But she was quiet now. It was kind of nice. His mother was never quiet. After she was done with the living room she moved upstairs. Derek made them all stay downstairs as he and Joanne went upstairs. Dallin didn’t seem to like this, but for once his mother didn’t give him what he wanted and demanded that he stayed down here. Once they went upstairs Dallin went off about how stupid this was. Michael thought he was just mad he got told what to do and had to listen. He wasn’t used to that. “They expect us to sit down here while they go upstairs and decide whether or not we’re a good family. That is so stupid!” “Dallin, stop being so selfish,” Maybell told him. “This is serious. This could mean something very bad for all of us.” “It’s not about all of us,” he told her. “This is about Michael. He’s just making up stories again. If you’re so unhappy here why don’t you just leave?” he asked Michael. Instead of answering him Michael looked down. How was this his fault? He didn’t remembering saying anything to someone at his school. And Dallin was mean. Did he really want him gone? 185
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“Cut it out, Dallin,” Maybell barked. “No one wants Michael to leave.” “Yeah,” George agreed. “Besides, I doubt he said anything.” Dallin didn’t seem to be buying it. “What do you think they’re looking for?” George asked. “Anything that can make us look bad,” Maybell mumbled. Michael was always amazed by how mature Maybell was. She had two modes: the cute, innocent, and clueless mode and the get to the point, very smart for her age mode. She was only six, but most days he thought she was at least ten. “They won’t find anything,” George said with confidence. “We have nothing to hide.” It was silent for a moment. Of course he was wrong. They might not have had something that could be found lying around the house to hide, but they most certainly had a lot to hide. But lying came almost naturally to all of them. Their parents had never actually told them to lie so they wouldn’t get in trouble, but they had been lying to tons of people for years. They just knew that was what they were supposed to do. They eventually came back down. The lady sat down on the couch as if she had been invited to sit down, Derek was still looking stressed, his mother still looked angry, and Michael looked scared. “Michael, will you answer some questions for me?” she asked. Michael was still scared out of his mind, knowing it all came down to what he said. But he slowly came up, knowing he really didn’t have a choice in the matter. “Michael, would you say you were happy here?” she asked. 186
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Michael braced himself to lie. If he didn’t very bad things would happen, not just to him but to his entire family. He couldn’t let that happen. This might not have been the best place in his world, but that didn’t mean he thought anywhere else would be any better. At least he had his father, George, and Maybell. And Dallin wasn’t so bad. He was just an annoying older brother. “Yes,” Michael replied. “And what types of things do your parents do to make you feel happy here?” she asked with another smile. Great. He lied, but usually he didn’t have to explain his lie. He thought carefully about what he was going to say. Maybe he didn’t have to lie. As it was true he wasn’t ‘happy’ here, there were some things that made staying here bearable. He could use those. “Well, we’re all a family,” he told her. “I really like my siblings and enjoy being here. What reason would I have not to enjoy it?” He could feel his parents’ eyes on him. What were they thinking? Was he saying the wrong thing? “But what about your relationship with your parents?” she asked. “Do you feel they treat you like parents should? Are you guys close?” “Yeah, we’re close,” he lied. “They love me like a son.” She nodded, seeming to study him. He felt as though she could see right through his lie. “Have your parents ever made you feel unwanted. Of course no parent is perfect, but has it ever been so bad you haven’t wanted to come home?” He hated these questions. He wanted this to end. He didn’t care about eating dinner anymore. If he got through this 187
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he would just go upstairs and never complain about being alone again. Anything had to be better than this. “No,” he mumbled. “I always want to come home.” She nodded. “Last question,” she said with a smile, trying to make him feel better. “Have your parents ever hurt you? Have they ever hit you, even once?” This time he didn’t pause. He had to answer this question fast, so she wouldn’t suspect he was lying. “No,” he replied. “Never.” She nodded and wrote something down on her clipboard. “Well, I think that’s it,” she told his parents. “I have no reason to take him from you as of now.” Michael didn’t like the way she had said that. What did ‘as of now’ mean? “Goodbye,” his mother said with a cold look. The lady gave her a cold look back and then walked out. She was still staring at her as she did. “She’ll be back,” his mother mumbled as she walked away from the door. Was that what she had meant? When would she be coming back? “We have nothing to worry about,” my father assured her. “They have nothing, and they can’t do anything without evidence.” She shook her head as Michael sat down on the couch. If they wanted evidence, could they get it? Maybe he would never admit to what was happening, but he had the bruises. The school nurse saw them, and his parents knew about them. He was a bit surprised when his father came to sit next to him, and he wrapped his arms around him. “Everything will be okay,” he assured him. The next few months proved to be great. His mother never touched him once. Although he still wasn’t allowed to 188
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participate in family dinners, he was given three meals a day and his father went out of his way to be extra nice to him. For the first time in his life, he felt like maybe things really would get better. Michael came back to reality and pulled up in front of the hotel. He sighed, wondering how he was going to break it to Carrie he was staying at a hotel. Maybe he could lie about his jet. He shook his head. No, she needed to know the truth. Lying never got him anywhere. Throughout all his life lying just made things worse. Then again, if he hadn’t have lied all those years he wondered where he would be today. He barely got any sleep that night. He had nightmares on occasion, but whenever he did he usually had Carrie there to help him get through it. Tonight he just felt terrible because he was alone, and he felt even more terrible that his own brother wasn’t even willing to talk to him again, when it was him that shouldn’t want to Dallin. It didn’t seem right.
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Chapter Nine
The First Step
T
he next morning Amy was sitting at their
kitchen table, staring at the phone as if it were a snake. This time the nervousness was even worse since she knew for sure he would answer. Would he even be interested in hearing what she had to say, or would he just go off about how she abandoned the kids and not care? She sighed. There was only one way to find out. She held the phone, but didn’t press any buttons. She dropped it again and mumbled in frustration. She had to call. But she couldn’t. She just couldn’t.
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Mark came in and seemed to notice she was in distress. “What’s wrong with you?” he asked. He noticed the phone. “Did you get a hold of your ex-husband?” She shook her head. “I talked to his brother, but that was the easy part. Calling him is an entirely different story.” Mark sat down. “Why are you so nervous, Amy? I mean I understand it’s been a long time, but you used to married to the guy. I would imagine you knew him inside and out, and you guys shared something you didn’t share with anyone else. I mean I would hope to say the same thing for us. That’s what marriage is about.” Amy sighed. “That’s just it, Mark,” she told him. “Not only is he my ex-husband that I haven’t seen in forever, but he’s also famous. That’s very nerve wracking. Like I said, I didn’t know him when he was famous. The last time I saw him was when he came to pick up the kids after Keith and I divorced. He had just had a hit single and was beginning to be known, but he wasn’t nearly as famous as he is now. He was just a simple country singer with a hit. "Michael and I did share something. He opened his soul out to me. I don’t know, maybe I just feel guilty. I mean now he’s this famous singer with more money than I’ll ever see. It’s crazy to think the man I was once married to and had a connection with is world known now. And it’s not just that. I mean I left him. After I left I kept battling with myself to go back, but it was complicated. In the end I married Keith so quickly and then I ended up completely miserable. We hardly ever talked because he was so bitter I had left, and I felt so guilty. But he was there for me even after we divorced. Then it took him almost ten years to get remarried. Sometimes I feel that was my fault.” 191
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Mark was just staring at her. “Oh, I get it,” he said with a bit of a smirk. Why was he smirking? She didn’t find this funny. “You broke Michael Lonewell’s heart." She shook her head. “Well, if you want to put it that way,” she mumbled. “Amy, I get it,” he assured her. “I mean are you forgetting I have an ex-wife? If I had to call her for some reason I would be super nervous. I would probably be doing the exact same thing you’re doing now.” “But she left you, not the other way around.” “Well, yeah, but that wouldn’t make it any easier. I’m sure Michael will be nervous to talk to you too. But if you guys seriously haven’t talked in this long even though you have children together, you seriously need to work on that. You need to at least like each other for your children's sake.” Amy gave him a look. “Yes, I know I’m completely preaching to the choir, but you know my ex-wife’s story. It’s much different than yours. Or at least I hope it is,” he added. Was he trying to give her the guilt trip? “Getting along with her and inviting her over for my children’s sake isn’t going to happen. But you seriously just need to talk to him. If you were once in love, surely there’s still at least a friendship there.” “Saying you’ll be friends with a guy you left isn’t easy.” “I know, but it’s possible. Just start small. Call him up. I’m sure he has more reason to be nervous than you do.” “You don’t understand. What I did to him has been eating me alive since we divorced.” “Well, you didn’t cheat on him did you?” Amy looked down. “Well, not physically,” she mumbled. 192
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“You seriously cheated on him?” Mark asked in shock. “We were having issues, and I couldn’t leave because I had nowhere to go. My friend recommended online dating to me so I could meet someone I could leave him for. But it was so stupid, because all it did was cause the divorce to be so much worse than it could have been, and for six years I was married to the worst man in the world. I guess I just doomed myself.” He just stared at her, unsure of what to say. “Well, this goes back to him being more nervous to talk to you,” he finally said. She shook her head. “He never found out, but he had his suspicions. I got married so quickly after I left and he called me up the day after my wedding and told me I would be sorry, and he hoped this new guy was worth it. Then he disappeared for three months.” “Really?” Mark asked. “Where did he go?” “Beats me. I just remember Keith was mad because he wasn’t paying child support and Zac was very upset, convinced he didn’t love him anymore. Thankfully he came back, but he barely said two words to me since then. We each took a child so we didn’t have to worry about child support, and then we only associated with each other when we had to. He took Kyle occasionally, but most of our time was spent with the child we actually had.” “That’s crazy,” Mark mumbled. “Did he ever pay you back the child support?” Amy shook her head. “He lived in a rundown apartment with a child. No, he didn’t. But it doesn’t even matter, because I owe him so much child support for all these years.” “He’s Michael Lonewell. I doubt he cares. 193
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“You never know,” she sighed. “Just call him. How about I stay right here so I can make you feel better?” “Or eavesdrop,” she said with a look. He smirked. “Either way, call him.” She sighed and picked up the phone again. She had to do this. Mark came closer to her and grabbed her hand. It was enough to distract her so she could dial the number, but then the nervousness came right back once she realized it was ringing. There was no beep this time, so she knew it actually went through. She was hoping for a wrong number. Please just be a wrong number. “Hello,” she heard a woman’s voice answer. She really did have the wrong number! She thought about just hanging up without even an explanation, but then remembered what George had said about giving her his home number rather than his cellphone. She must have been talking to his wife. They had never met, although she knew about her. She couldn’t seem to remember her name. She was beginning to think Michael would never get married, but then he got married to her around the time she divorced Keith. “Umm… hi,” she said nervously. “Is Michael there?” Carrie got nervous, hoping it wasn’t a crazed fan wanting to talk to their favorite singer. It had happened before, and how they got his number was beyond her. She really didn’t want to have to change their number again. “May I ask who’s speaking?” she asked, wondering if it was just an old friend or something. But then again, a crazed fan would probably lie. Well, it was now or never. “This is Amy. It’s… it’s been awhile. I thought maybe I would just check up on the kids.” 194
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By this point Carrie was in shock. “Amy?” Carrie asked. “You mean Michael’s ex-wife? The boys will be so happy to hear from you. You’re right, it has been a long time.” Amy was grateful she didn’t seem like one of those control freak women who just told her she was never there for them like she was and then hung up. “Can I speak to them?” she asked excitingly. Her bringing up the boys made her want to talk to them more than ever. Did they really want to hear from her? Carrie wasn’t sure how to break it to her. “Actually, Michael’s not home. I don’t really feel right about being the decision maker in this, and Michael should probably know before you talk to them. Can I ask you to call back in a few days?” Amy sighed. Of course. But where was Michael that she couldn’t call back for another couple days? “That's fine,” she told Carrie. “I understand.” Now Carrie felt guilty. She almost felt guilty enough to give her Michael’s cellphone number so she could talk to him about this personally, but knew Michael wouldn’t be happy if she did that. He was always going on a rant about how confidential his number was and how mad he would be if he found out one of the kids gave it out to anyone. But this was his ex-wife and the mother of his children, after all. “I hope you’re not upset. They’re doing fine. They're wonderful boys, and Miranda’s very sweet. Zac’s been asking about you, which is why I said they’re all be happy to hear from you.” Zac had been asking about her? “What did Zac ask?” she asked, hoping it was nothing bad.
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“I don’t know,” Carrie replied. “He didn’t ask me; he asked his father. I’m just the mother and his wife so I know things.” Amy nodded. Mark was still listening intently and Amy had to keep pushing him back in annoyance, which he found rather funny. Zac must have had so many questions that she was never able to answer, because she wasn’t around. Did he ask if she cared about him? She desperately wanted to talk to him now. And what about Kyle? Did he wonder about her as well? Poor Miranda probably thought she didn’t care about her anymore and she never loved her as much as she did the children she gave birth to. She had so much she needed to tell them. “Well, I suppose I’ll call back later then.” “Sorry, once again. But I’ll let them know you called. I’m sure they’ll be happy.” “Thank you,” Amy said, trying to sound cheerful. Then they both hung up. Amy set the phone down and sighed. “Patience is a virtue, Amy,” Mark said with a smile. “It’s been five years,” she said in frustration. “I’m not saying I’ve been ‘patient’ all that time, but I don’t want to wait any longer. They’re my children, and I’ve pretty much just treated them like I didn’t care, which is far from true. They have no idea how much I care about them.” “Well, they will in a few days.” She smiled, trying to cheer up. Just two days, then she could tell them everything. She could tell them how much she loved and missed them, she could explain why things happened the way they did, and maybe she could finally see their faces again. She would give anything just for a picture. 196
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[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] Back in Rhode Island, Zac and Kyle were bored. Kyle was sitting with his back facing the TV, while Zac was hanging upside down from one of the couch cushions. Kyle was throwing cereal in Zac's mouth, missing more than he was actually making it. Carrie came in and gave them a look when she saw what they were doing. “What are you boys doing?” she asked, seeing all the cereal that was now on the carpet. “We made a bet,” Kyle explained. “Zac told me I couldn’t get twenty of these in his mouth in a row. So I’m proving him wrong. Plus we’re bored.” “And so far I’m totally winning,” Zac said with a smirk as a piece of cereal fell out of his mouth. “And you’re making a mess,” Carrie said in outrage as she came closer. “Oh, come on,” Zac said. “It’s just cereal. We’ll clean it up.” “Something tells me you won’t,” she said irritably. She grabbed Zac by the arm. “Off the couch,” she demanded. Zac listened and got up. He didn’t want to make her annoyed. Of course Carrie didn’t get mad, she just got annoyed. It was just the way she was. However, if he got her annoyed his dad would surely find out about it and then he would have to take the heat from him. “Carrie’s super sweet and never gets mad. If you do something she doesn’t like I’ll be the one that teaches you a lesson,” was what he always told them. He would rather deal with Carrie than his father any day. Trouble was, if he had to deal with Carrie that meant his father wasn’t far behind.
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“I have news for you boys,” she said, a smile suddenly forming on her face. Zac was convinced she was bi-polar sometimes. Why was she suddenly happy? “Did dad get a movie deal or something while he was out in California?” Zac asked with no excitement. Carrie shook her head. “Your father didn’t go out to California for celebrity business, Zac; he went for personal business.” “Then what did he go for? Did he go to return something to George?” “It doesn’t matter. What I’m going to tell you isn’t about him, it’s about you, Kyle, and Miranda.” Zac had a bad feeling about this. Kyle must have been thinking the same thing. “Is this about our mother?” he asked, his eyes lighting up in excitement. Zac’s eyes didn’t like up at all, rather seemed to darken. Carrie smiled. “Yes, it is. I just got off the phone with her.” “What?” Kyle asked, suddenly standing up. “How come she didn’t want to talk to us?” “She did. I just didn’t want to do anything until your father gets home. It’s something you guys need to talk about.” Kyle looked mad about this while Zac was getting nervous. On the bright side, his father would probably care less about his broken arm now, but on the downside, when he had asked about her he never meant for THIS to happen. She wasn’t supposed to actually contact them. This was bad. He didn’t want to talk to her. “So does this mean we get to talk to her soon?” “Right after your father gets home most likely,” she said with another smile. 198
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“Well, then where is he? What’s so important out in California?” Carrie laughed. “I know you missed your mother, Kyle, but I think you can wait a couple more days. Your father has business with his brother.” “What business does he have with George?” Zac asked, suddenly interested. “That’s none of your business,” she replied. Zac didn’t look satisfied by this, but Kyle wasn’t paying attention. “I can only imagine all the questions I want to ask her,” Kyle said, suddenly pacing around the room. “Why don’t you make a list and ask them for both of us?” Zac said bitterly. “What’s your problem?” Kyle asked, now annoyed as Zac headed upstairs. Carrie sighed. Zac needed to talk to her more than Kyle did in her opinion. But she wasn’t going to deal with it. She knew Zac didn’t like listening to anyone, but his father could get through to him better than anyone else. Carrie called Michael not more than a few minutes later. He was sitting in his hotel room, watching TV and trying to clear his mind. He was a superstar. He had tons of money and a great family. He was living the dream. Why did he always let little things get to him? He certainly had more than he deserved, even if his past wasn’t the best. His phone ringing startled him. When he saw that it was Carrie he got nervous. He had ignored her call last night, planning on making up an excuse about being asleep even though it was only nine o’clock at night. He couldn’t think of an excuse now, and he already felt guilty enough about last night, so he really owed her answering this one. “Hello,” he said, trying to sound like he just woke up. 199
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“What happened, Michael?” she asked. “You didn't answer my call last night, and you didn’t bother to call me back. Did everything go alright with your brother?” “I’ll talk about it when I get home,” Michael replied, hoping she would accept that. “So you ignored my call on purpose?” she accused. “Of course not. I just got caught up in what I was doing and then went to sleep. I would never ignore your calls on purpose.” Lying seemed to come naturally to him, even though he always hated it. Why was he still lying, and especially over something this stupid? “Michael, I get it. Things didn’t go well. Why don't you just come right out and say it?” “I’m embarrassed to admit it, alright.” “Alright, we can talk about it when we’re alone. But if things didn’t go well why don’t you come home? We’ve all missed you.” It had only been a day. How could they miss him in a day? “I’ll be home soon. I just didn’t get finished until late last night and went to sleep, like I said. Don’t worry.” “Well, I wanted to tell you someone called.” “Was it Amy?” he asked immediately. Carrie was surprised. “How did you know?” “How do you think she got our number? George gave it to her. You didn’t let her talk to the boys did you? I don’t want to spring something like that on them. We need to talk about it first.” “That’s exactly what I told her. I asked her to call back in a couple days because you weren’t home and this was between you and them. She seemed kind of upset, but she didn’t fight me or anything.” 200
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“Well, good. I don’t really feel a lot of sympathy for her, though.” Carrie sighed. “Michael, like it or not she’s their mother. You can’t pretend she doesn’t care about them.” “Carrie, she hasn’t seen them in how many years? What about you and Emily’s father? If he called one day would you let him talk to her?” “Well, yes. I might not be able to stand the guy, and I might think he’s not a very good man and a very flaky father, but he’s her father and I can’t stand in the way of them at least talking. Now if he asked me to take her, which he has in the past, I might be a little nervous about it. I know you’ve raised the boys for a long time, and you’ve done a wonderful job at it, but they’re big boys now. They can make their own decisions, and if they want to talk to their mother, you shouldn’t stand in the way. Make sure that’s what they want, but don’t stand in their way if they do.” Michael sighed. “We’ll talk about this later,” he said, wanting to end the conversation.” “Call your jet people and get down here. If you’re done in California, why are you still there?” He knew the reason he was still here. He was hoping Dallin would call him at any minute, proving he didn’t just come down here for nothing. He desperately wanted that, but he knew it wouldn’t happen. Dallin was too stuck in his ways. But hopefully he was at least thinking about what he said. “You’re right. I should just come home.” As Michael watched all the heavy traffic rush by below him from his apartment, he remembered why he didn’t like Sacramento. Sure, he grew up here, but it was nothing but a big city. Then again, maybe the fact he grew up here was 201
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exactly why he wanted to leave. He made a new imagine for himself, leaving the old him behind. Whenever he came back here he was reminded of the old him. He couldn’t come back here permanently or it would always eat away at him. It still ate away at him, but it would only be worse. The old him was long gone, and he wasn’t coming back. Zac went to school the next morning, egger to see Molly. He wasn’t sure if they were dating at this point. Sure, they spent a lot of time together, and she had kissed him more than once, but he had never had a girlfriend before so he wasn’t exactly sure what made someone decide they were suddenly dating each other. Was he supposed to ask her officially? Did it just happen? He nervously made his way to Molly’s table. He decided he would just walk by and pretend like he didn’t see her. Maybe she would invite him to sit down, or even expect him to. He casually walked by, and just like he had planned, Molly saw him. She was talking to her friends and didn’t seem to notice him at first. “Don’t you love this color?” she asked her friends as she showed off her turquoise nails. “It’s so bold,” her friend agreed with a smile. “Zac!” she said happily when she saw him. Zac decided to play dumb. “Hello, Molly,” he said as if he just saw her. “You should come sit by us, Zac,” she said with a smile. Zac smiled back and sat down, happy that had gone the way he planned. “Molly has told us so much about you, Zac,” one of her friends said. She had long, straight, dark hair with brown eyes. Just like Molly, she was very pretty and very girly. “Is your father really Michael Lonewell?” 202
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Zac didn’t like telling people who his father was. It led to unnecessary attention and questions. But he didn’t want Molly to think he was a jerk for telling them not to worry about it, or even lying. Technically they already knew. “Well, yeah,” he mumbled, "but it really doesn’t matter. I mean most people at this school have rich parents, and many of them even have famous parents. It’s nothing.” They all stared at him. “You and Brad Thomas are the only ones I know.” Zac was lost for words. “Well, there’s also my brother. That’s three. I think three people are promising.” Her friend gave him a look. “Two brothers don’t count, because they have the same parents.” “Zac’s kidding,” Molly said with a laugh. “Of course his father is famous. I think that’s so cool.” Zac took a drink of his milk, now embarrassed. He hadn’t been kidding. He didn’t want the entire school to know who his father was, even if it wasn’t exactly a secret. “Zac, this is my best friend, Jordyn,” she told him as she pointed to the dark headed girl. “Well, if your father really is Michael Lonewell, you should come to my party this weekend. There will be food, fun, and socialization.” Zac was still working up to telling his father about his arm. He was planning on saying something when he got home, but he had a feeling the thing with his mother wouldn’t give him the chance. Another party, most likely with alcohol, was asking for another disaster. “I’ll pass,” he told Jordyn. “I’m kind of busy this weekend.” “Oh, I understand. I just thought I’d offer. I would think you and Molly would want to spend more time together.” 203
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Was she hinting they were dating? Or maybe she just thought they would end up dating. “You should come, Zac,” Molly told him with a pleading look. “She’s right; we should spend more time together. I thought you enjoyed the last party, so another would be great.” "I don’t even remember what happened.” She laughed. “That’s what made it so fun. Come on. Please, for me.” There was something about the way she had said it that made Zac suddenly want to. If she wanted him to go, surely that had to mean something. He couldn’t miss out on an opportunity like this. “Maybe I will,” he said with a smile. “Good,” she said happily. “It wouldn’t be the same without you.” “For sure,” Jordyn agreed. “Did I mention it’s going to be a karaoke night? Singing is in your blood.” Zac got nervous. What did she just say? “Well, that sounds fun, but I don’t sing. Don’t expect to hear me.” “But your father is amazing at singing.” “Well, I’m not my father.” Jordyn didn’t look satisfied by this. “Well, then I suppose I’ll see you this weekend, Zac,” Molly said with a wink as she left the table. Jordyn followed, giving Zac a look as she left. When Zac got home his father was home. Instead of being his usual cheery self he seemed kind of down. “What did you even go to California for anyway?” Zac asked. “Did you have to deal with your manager?” Zac knew Michael hated dealing with his manager. He always complained and was irritated whenever he had to deal with him. It would only make 204
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sense by how upset he looked. His manager always got him worked up, and they never saw eye-to-eye on anything. Plus his manager was nothing but money hungry, while Michael was far from it. “No,” Michael replied. “I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.” “You could have fooled me,” Zac mumbled. “I need to talk to you and Kyle about something.” “Oh, so this is about our mother.” Michael gave him a surprised look. “How did you know?” “Carrie told us,” Zac explained. Michael wasn’t sure how he felt about this, but he had no reason to be mad at her, especially after the trip out to California. “Well, she also wouldn’t let her talk to you because I wanted to talk to you about it first.” “Fine,” Zac said as if it were nothing. “Please let her talk to us,” Kyle begged. They were standing in the living room, and Miranda was eavesdropping. She sighed, wondering why she wasn’t invited into a conversation involving her own mother. Well, at least she thought she was her mother. “We haven’t heard from her in so long. She is our mother.” “I know,” Michael said nicely. “I’m completely up for you guys talking to her. I just wanted to talk to you about it first was all. I understand this might be a little stressful, and you might have mixed feelings about it. That’s completely fine and I would understand considering how long it’s been.” Kyle thought he was preaching to the choir. He went many years convincing himself his father didn’t care about him because he was never there. Who was he to be talking? “Well, I don’t want to talk to her,” Zac stated. “Kyle can all he wants, but I’m just fine.” 205
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“So are you going to go through your life convincing yourself you had a horrible mother who didn’t care about you?” Kyle asked. Zac gave him a look. “Enough,” Michael told them. “Zac, I think talking to her would be good for you. I’m not asking you to forgive her or pretend like nothing ever happened, but you should at least talk to her. It’s really not that much to ask.” “She hasn’t seen me since I was four. I don’t care what you’re asking.” He attempted to head upstairs but Michael grabbed his arm with a sigh. “Zac, we’ve been through this.” Zac suddenly screamed in pain. Michael let go of him, wondering what he did. He had only grabbed his arm. He looked down at his hands as if they had just betrayed him. “Zac, are you alright?” he asked. Zac tried to brush it off. “I’m fine. Your nail must have gone into my arm. It was nothing.” Michael didn't believe him. With the way he screamed he had a feeling it wasn’t just a simple nail. “Zac, let me see your arm,” Michael demanded. Zac got nervous. Was now a good time? “I’m fine,” he insisted. Michael wouldn’t take no for an answer. He grabbed Zac by his other arm and brought him closer. He pulled up his sleeve to reveal a big, purple bruise. Kyle shuttered. It looked very painful. “What did you do, Zac?” Michael asked in shock. Zac wasn’t sure how he was going to think up a lie to this one. But he was still going to try. “I tripped. I was running too fast and landed on my arm. It hurt, but I didn’t think it would get this bad.” 206
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“That arm looks like you’ve been trying to hide it for weeks, Zac.” “Well, I was a bit embarrassed to admit I tripped.” Michael studied him. “Zac, where were you on New Year’s?” Zac got nervous. Did he already know? Had he seen straight through his lie? “Well, here of course. I was hanging out with Aaron and Pete.” “For some reason I have a hard time believing that. I didn’t even see you that night.” “Because you were out of it,” Zac protested. “Which would have given you the perfect opportunity to do something.” “You can’t accuse me of something you didn’t see just because you weren’t functional enough to remember exactly what I was doing. That’s not fair.” Michael sighed. “Fine, I won’t accuse you of something I don’t know for sure, but I know you’re lying about your arm. I just know that if you’ve gone through this much pain to try to cover it up it must have been something really bad. Whatever it was, I will find out about it.” Zac shook his head, not taking his threat very seriously. He had gotten away with it once, so he knew he could get away with it again. The first time was always the hardest, and he totally nailed it. “I guess I’ll have to take you to the doctor's,” Michael told him, not looking very happy. “What’s the big deal? Plenty of people break their arm. It’s not like I had any control over it.” “Oh, I think you did,” Michael said with a look. Zac blew him off. He was just glad that was over with. He had been in so much pain for weeks, and he kept telling 207
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himself he needed to tell his father but didn’t. At least now he knew he wasn’t going to get in trouble, on top of his father not believing him, and his father still didn’t know about the party. It had all worked out, and he had a feeling it would all work out for this next party as well.
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Chapter Ten
After all these years
Z
ac sat by the bathroom mirror combing through his
hair. He had to look nice for this thing. After all, Molly was going to be there. He still wasn’t sure how two people ended up dating, but he was going to figure it out. Molly clearly liked him and now that Brad was out of the way he had it all. All he had to do was get her at the right time and surely she would be his girlfriend. It was all he had ever wanted and more.
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He came downstairs, trying to be careful so no one saw him walk out the door. He had a plan that would let him get away with it just like last time. If it didn’t work, well, he knew he was bound to get caught eventually. He wasn’t the slightest bit worried. “Where are you going, Zac?” someone asked him from the living room. He looked up to see Kyle. “Just going to hang out with Pete,” Zac lied. “Really? And what are you doing with Pete?” “Are you my dad? It’s none of your business.” Kyle gave him a look. “You better watch it, Zac. You know if you weren’t such a jerk to me all the time maybe I would pretend like nothing was going on, but since you’re always a jerk to me I’m obligated to be suspicious and then to tell dad.” “Go ahead and tell dad. I’m not doing anything I shouldn’t. And even if you do, I’m glad to hear you take pride in tattle telling.” “How old are you again, Zac?” “Older than you,” Zac said with a smirk. “Oh, so that’s what it always comes down to.” “Goodbye,” he said with another smirk as he walked out the door. “He’s asking for it,” Kyle mumbled as he went back to what he was doing. Zac braced himself as he got out of his car. He could see tons of teenagers, and they were all doing stupid things. He was probably about to do something stupid himself, but he didn’t care. He stared down at his new cast, a painful reminder of what could happen if he wasn’t careful. He figured he would get a lot of weird looks from wearing this cast, but it didn’t matter. He just had to be careful and not do something 210
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that stupid again. And if anyone asked about his cast he had a cover story. He wouldn’t dare tell someone was actually happened, especially at a party like this. “Zac, you made it,” Molly said as she came up to him. “Yes, I did,” Zac said with a smile. “It’s going to fun. I’m totally ready for anything you can throw at me.” She laughed and then looked at his arm. “What happened to your arm?” she asked as she pointed to the cast. “I landed wrong on my trampoline,” he told her. “Ouch,” she said as she made a face. “Well, I just hope you can still hold a microphone,” she said with a wink. Zac gave her a weird look. “A microphone?” he asked. “Well, don’t you remember what Jordyn said? This is an open mic party. I would really like to see what you can do.” “Molly, I can’t sing. That’s my dad’s thing, not mine.” “Just think about it. I’m not going to force you to do anything, but I’m sure you’re better than you say you are and everyone hear would love to hear you.” Zac shook his head. He wasn’t his father. Why didn’t anyone understand that? [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] Amy stared at the phone. Carrie had said in a few days, and she felt like it had been a few days. But she worried it was too soon, and they hadn’t even talked it over yet. But she couldn’t wait any longer. Surely she would have at least mentioned it to Michael. And if nothing else he should have been home by now. She just had to hear their voice. She had to know they were alright, and they had to know she never stopped loving them. She knew patience was a virtue, but she couldn’t wait any longer. Today would finally be the day she 211
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would reconnect with them. She just hoped they didn’t write her off and tell her she was never there. She would never be fully happy again if they did that. They would always be her children, and she would always love them. She dialed the number, waiting nervously for the ring. It rang once, twice, three times. Was someone going to pick up? After the fourth ring she finally heard a familiar, “Hello.” It was Carrie again. Now she was even more nervous it was too early. “Hi,” she said nervously. “I’m just wondering if now is a good time to call back. I’m just really excited, and I don’t mean to bother you.” Carrie smiled, although Amy couldn’t see it. “Oh, you’re not a bother at all. Michael’s home now, and I’ll go get him for you.” “Thank you,” Amy said, her voice shaking she was so nervous. What would he have to say to her? It had been so long. The last time they spoke to each other he did something nice for her. He was a good man, and she was glad he was the father of their children and had been raising them for all these years. She was just super nervous about talking to him. She used to love him with all her heart and she used to know him through and through. Now he was a stranger to her, and he was famous at that. It was hard for her to even grasp he was the same man she was once married to and had children with. He was nothing like he used to be in her eyes. Michael was standing in the hallway, just staring off into space. He came next to Tyler’s room. The door was shut and he couldn’t hear anything. What did that kid do in there? He was there for most of the day, making absolutely no noise. He also went into the tree house, but he never brought anything to do. He figured he did a lot of drawing, being that’s 212
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what his walls were covered in, but wouldn’t he at least hear the sound of his pencil? He slowly opened the door, trying to catch Tyler by surprise. He did, because Tyler turned around and jumped. He was reading a book. Michael was convinced there wasn’t a single book Tyler hadn’t read. But he was sure he didn’t sit here up doing that all day, because he only had so many books, and it was rarely he caught him with one when he did come up here. “Hello, Tyler,” Michael said with a smile. Tyler, of course, didn’t reply back, but he looked rather annoyed Michael had snuck up on him without even a knock. Michael would give anything to know what was going on in his head. He was such a smart kid, yet he couldn’t do something as simple as talking. It wasn’t a hearing problem, and so far he hadn’t been diagnosed with anything related to his speech problem. The doctors had just said there wasn’t a reason, and maybe he would end up talking someday, but maybe he wouldn’t. This wasn’t a very good confirmation to Michael, but he kept telling himself it would happen someday. But he had a feeling Tyler was more likely to talk to Carrie than he was to him, being he was a complete mama’s boy and he never wanted to spend time with him like he did with his mother. He decided his best chance of hearing Tyler saying something was to sneak up on him. It was mean, but he didn’t care at this point. He just wanted to know Tyler could talk. “What are you reading?” he asked. It was a long shot, but he didn’t come in here just to stand there. Tyler just went back to his book, as if Michael was just a nuisance to him and he just needed to ignore him. 213
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Michael continued to stare at him. Did he ever want to talk? Did he choose not to? He didn’t understand why anyone would choose not to talk. Even when he was a child he was exceptionally bright but never said a word. When all the other children were his age, they were talking in complete sentences and learning to walk, while Tyler taught himself to walk and later potty trained himself. Carrie was quite disappointed because she didn’t get his first steps on tape, and then felt like a failure because he did everything by himself. He never did say a word, even when he was a baby. He just stared at them whenever they would try. Carrie worried he would end up behind in school because he never learned to read, but he ended up teaching himself to read mostly with a little help from Carrie, and then Carrie taught him how to write. Even though he didn’t talk, Carrie was the only one who could get him to communicate with her. To everyone else he just gave looks, mostly of annoyance. Carrie came up behind him. “Michael, someone’s on the phone for you,” he told him. “Who?” Michael asked a little nervously. He hoped he didn’t have to change his number again. “Her,” Carrie replied with a look. Michael nodded. Great. He was hoping she would wait a bit to call, because he wasn’t sure he was ready to talk to her. A lot had changed since they last talked. He had a mouthful he wished he could say to her but probably wouldn’t. He braced himself and then picked up the phone. He left the hallway as Carrie came into Tyler’s room. “Hello, honey,” she said with a smile. He didn’t even look up from his book. “I love you,” she told him as she shut his door. She hoped he at least smiled, although she wouldn’t be able to see it if he did. 214
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“Hello,” Michael said nervously. He would let her do all the talking. Thankfully, he didn’t have to. Well, at least not most of it. “Hi,” Amy said nervously, wondering if she could honestly get through this. He was famous! He was probably laughing it up, not even caring that she felt ready to throw-up because she was so nervous. “I know it’s been a while,” she said slower than she intended, “but I would really like to talk to the kids again. I’m not asking for much. I just want to talk to them and see how their lives are going. I know I probably don’t deserve more than that, and I’m not asking for more than that.” Michael sighed. Now she was making him feel guilty. “I haven’t been the one that’s been keeping you from them, Amy. You could have called anytime. I haven’t bothered to contact you but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t have contacted me.” “You’re famous,” she said in defense. “How do you call someone who’s famous?” “Well, you figured it out didn’t you?” She sighed in annoyance. “Have they been asking about me?” she asked, thinking about what Carrie had said about Zac. “Well, you can’t blame them for wanting to know a little about their mother. Kyle hasn’t been asking about you, but he seemed really excited when I told him you had called and I’m sure there’s more he hasn’t told me. We don’t exactly have one-on-one conversations. And Zac is going through a stage. You haven’t seen him in a long time and he’s probably just wondering if it was something he did. Yes, he asked about you, but it was more he just wanted to know where you were 215
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and why you hadn’t bothered to contact him and Kyle after all these years.” She looked down. Did Zac really think it was his fault? “Can I please talk to them?” she asked. Michael sighed. “Yes, you can. But I don’t know if Zac will feel up to it, so be aware of that.” Amy wished she could go back and change time. She wondered if Zac would ever forgive her so she could have the bond with him a mother was supposed to have with her son. She also wondered if he was even willing to give her a chance. It had been a long time... “Kyle,” Michael called as he knocked on Kyle’s door. Kyle came out, wondering what he wanted, and then saw the phone in his hands. His eyes seemed to light up. “Is that my mother?” he asked. Michael nodded. “I better go talk some sense into Zac,” he said as he handed him the phone. Kyle smirked. He was so dead. And the best part was: he didn’t have to do anything. It was total karma coming back at him. “Hi,” Kyle said excitingly, not sounding the slightest bit nervous. “Kyle?” Amy asked, wondering if it was really him. It had been a while since she had seen him as well, but it was different. He lived with her for most of his childhood and he was the best son a mother could ask for. He was almost always obedient, he loved to smile, and he was a complete mama’s boy that loved to be held, even as he got older. He was only nine when he was sent to live with his father, and she remember him bawling and begging her to let him stay, convinced it was something he did. She never really gave him a good reason, because the only reason she had was she was getting divorced and she was 216
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going to live on the street because of Keith. She couldn’t tell him that. His father could give him a much better life than she could have at the time, but she never planned for the silence that followed. “How are you?” she asked, trying to keep herself from crying. She wished she could see his face. Talking on the phone wasn’t the same. She wasn’t even sure what he looked like. It had been way too long. “I’m good,” he told her. “I know I was upset when I had to come and live with dad, but a lot has changed since then. I don’t think dad and I will ever have a great relationship, but it’s been great living with him and I know now that he cares about me and I understand why you did it.” “Kyle, I never planned for this to happen,” Amy said sadly. “I just wanted you to be well off while I was trying to get back on my feet after divorcing Keith. I never thought your father would become famous, time would get the best of me, I would meet and marry another man, and then sit here wondering what happened. I’m sorry. I would do anything for you to understand I still love you.” “I know,” Kyle told her. “I’ve spent all these years telling myself you still did, but with dad being famous and all things just got really complicated.” Amy smiled. Kyle was the easy one. It would be Zac and Miranda that might not be as understanding. “Did you really get remarried?” Kyle asked. “Yes,” Amy said with pride. “I would love for you guys to meet him. I promise you he’s nothing like Keith was, and I’m sure you guys would get along great. He has three sons of his own that I would love for you to meet as well.” “No way,” Kyle said in shock. “We have stepbrothers that we’ve never met?” 217
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“I’m sorry,” she said sadly. “I’m sure you guys would get along just great and I’m sure they would be thrilled to meet you.” “Well, I totally want to meet them. Can I?” She laughed. “Of course you can, Kyle. But you’ll have to discuss it with your father, because I’m still just as broke as I was before and he sounded like he was already feeling mad about me talking to you, let alone you coming to see me.” “He would be a complete hypocrite if he didn’t let me see you. I mean how often did he come to visit me when I was little?” Amy sighed. “Well, why don’t you bring that up with him? Just leave me out of it because I don’t want him to think I’m making him look bad.” “Oh, I will. How old are they?” “Two of them are twins, both sixteen, and the other one is fourteen.” “So one's my age. I’ve always wanted to get to know some twins. Do they look exactly alike?” Amy laughed. “Yes, they do. They also act a lot alike and are the biggest trouble makers I have ever met. But don’t forget about Jamie. She’s missed you.” “Jamie? Oh, wow, it’s been so long. I almost forgot about her. Does she live with you?” “Of course she does. She always has. I’m sure she'll be very happy that she might be able to see you again.” “Well, I’m definitely happy as well. Time won’t destroy everything, even if it does weaken some things.” Carrie smiled. She desperately wished she could hug him right now. He was the best thing she could ask for in a son. But as much as she wanted to she couldn’t sit here and 218
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talk to him all day. “So can I talk to Zac and Miranda?” she asked. “Well, Zac’s not here, but you can talk to Miranda.” “Zac’s not there? Well, that’s too bad. You’ll have to let him know I called and ask him to call me back.” “I highly doubt he will,” Kyle told her. Amy sighed. “Then I’ll call him. Either way, let him know I called. But for now let me talk to Miranda.” “Alright,” Kyle said as he headed to Miranda’s room. He passed Michael on the way, and he did not look happy. “Where are you going?” Carrie asked when he came downstairs with his shoes and coat on. “If Zac is trying to do something stupid,” Michael told her, “he should consider not leaving his computer on.” Carrie just stared at him as he walked out the door. “Zac’s in trouble,” Emily said with a smirk. “It appears so,” Carrie said with absolutely no emotion as she went back to what she was doing. She just hoped Michael didn’t do anything irrational. When his temper got the best of him anything could happen. Miranda really didn’t want to talk to her mother, but she felt she didn’t have a choice in the matter. Kyle was trying to talk her into it, but she was giving him a look. “If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at Keith,” he told her. “I’m mad at him too, but that doesn’t mean I’m mad at mom.” Miranda wanted to point out if it weren’t for Michael she would be in a foster home. Her mother was so quick to give her up when things weren’t working out, and that just wasn’t fair. “Just talk to her,” Kyle told her. “You can hang up at any time if you want to.” 219
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Miranda slowly grabbed the phone, still giving him a look and knowing that her mother had heard all that. “Hello,” she said really low. “Miranda, hello,” Amy said with a smile. “I know you probably don’t want to talk to me, but please just hear me out. I love you just as much as I loved Kyle, and I never meant for any of this to happen. You went with Michael because I convinced him to take you. I didn’t want to give you up, but I didn’t know what else to do, because Keith wasn’t interested and I couldn’t take two children on the street. It wasn’t that I chose my biological children over you; I just was out of options and trying to figure things out. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you were always second in my eyes, because you weren’t. I took you in knowing you weren’t my biological child, and I was fine with that. In the moment of heat we can do things we’re not proud of.” Miranda wasn’t sure if she was buying it, but it was making her feel a bit better. She didn’t know who she could call her “mother.” Over the last few years she’s admitted to herself Michael cared about her, although she wasn’t sure he loved her the way he loved his other children, and she had told herself he was the closest thing to a “father” she had. Her mother, on the other hand, wasn’t Carrie. She was a sweet lady but she never felt anything with her. Maybe it was because she always felt like she treated Emily differently, and that always bothered her. But the mother that was now on her birth certificate hadn’t seen her in many years. At least Michael was on her birth certificate, and she lived with him. She would give anything for someone to call “mom.” “I know asking you to forgive me will be a lot, so I’ll just ask you to think about what’s happened all these years, 220
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and remember I never singled you out. I haven’t seen any of you in a while, not just you.” Well, she had a point. “Thanks,” she told her. Amy wished she had said more than, “Thanks,” after she just buried her soul to her. But Miranda never did talk all that much. She had always been the shy one in the corner that never talked to anyone. Michael pulled up about a block away from the party. He didn’t need someone destroying or stealing his car if he parked it too close. Besides, that gave him more time to give Zac an earful as they walked back to the car. Well, if he wasn’t out of it. If he was, he would be hearing a lot more than that. Once he got to the party he was amazed by how many people were there and by how big it was. When he went to party like this as a teenager it was always in some average house and there wasn’t a ton of people there, because most people were afraid of getting caught. He guessed a lot had changed since he was a teenager. But he wouldn’t let Zac make his same mistakes. Drinking destroyed his life, and he didn’t want to see the same thing happen to Zac. He would thank him some day. He wished he had a father that would come and drag him away from a party. He would have given anything for that. He sighed as he walked up to the house. He got tons of stares, which was expected. Not only was he Michael Lonewell, thereby making a famous person coming up to the house, but he was also an adult. He was sure all the teenagers were freaking out by this point. But he didn’t come to rat them all out. He had something else in mind. Zac was talking to Molly, enjoying himself a little too much. “And then the idiot threw the ball into the wrong hoop,” 221
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he told Molly, a red cup in his hands. He was slurring a bit, but he wasn’t drunk yet. Molly laughed. “Wow, he is an idiot. He never was good at basketball, though. As a cheerleader, we used to joke all the time the only reason he was on the team was because the coach was a fan of his father. How he got put on as team captain we could never figure out.” “Seriously,” Zac said a bit too loudly. “I was better than he could ever dream of being.” “Well, we all knew you should have been team captain,” she said with a smirk. “Sometimes I felt you were the only one on the team that could actually play.” Zac smiled as he went in to kiss her. But he suddenly stopped and looked up. “Oh, no,” he said nervously. Molly gave him a look, not happy he had just pulled away in the middle of them kissing. “My father’s here,” he told her as he pointed to Michael, who was now standing by the door looking around. “Whoa,” she said in shock. “What is he doing here?” “Looking for me,” Zac said as if it were obvious. “Let’s just say I didn’t exactly get his permission to come here. But how did he find this place? I thought in the absolute worst scenario I would be dead when I got home. I didn’t think he would actually show up to the party.” “It’s okay,” she said as she stood up. “I totally got this. There are a lot of people here, so your father probably won’t see you. I just need to give him a reason to stop looking.” Zac nodded, not exactly sure what she meant as she headed over there. Jordyn beat her to it. “Michael Lonewell,” she said with a smile. Michael didn’t have to guess to know she had 222
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some alcohol. “What brings you here? Are you looking for Zac?” He smiled. “Yes, I am, actually. Do you know where he is?” Molly suddenly came rushing over. “Michael Lonewell,” she said with a smile. “What brings you to this teenage party? Are you going to sing for us?” she joked. He gave her a look. “I’m looking for my son, Zac. Do you know him?” “Yes, I do,” she said with a smile, “but he’s not here. I haven’t seen him all night.” Michael had a hard time believing that. “Look,” he said as he gave them both a look. “I know you guys aren’t twenty-one yet, and I wasn’t born yesterday. If you want me to walk out quietly I suggest you tell me where he is. My business lies within him, not you guys.” They both immediately pointed to where he was, very afraid for his threat. He nodded and then spotted Zac, looking like he was trying to hide but was having issues remembering why. ` “Hello, Zac,” Michael said with a smirk as he walked over. Zac looked like he didn’t know what do to with himself. He had only had a couple glasses. How did he end up this out of it? “Alright, I know I’m dead, but in my defense, how did you know where I was at?” “You’re not very good at hiding things,” he replied as he grabbed his arm. He still had the cast, so Michael had to grab his other arm. “We’re leaving.”
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“Fine,” Zac said as if it were nothing. “Just try not to draw too much attention to yourself. This school kind of gets overly excited with celebrities.” Zac should really have shut his mouth, because that gave Michael an idea. “Can I have everyone’s attention?” he shouted. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him, staring. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was a celebrity or they thought he was here to bust them. “This is my son, Zac,” he said as he pointed to Zac. Zac was completely embarrassed, and was trying to hide his face. “Remember that alcohol destroys your life, and it might seem like all fun and games when you’re young, but it all catches up to you eventually.” They just stared at him as he walked out. Zac looked like he could just bury his face in the sand. Did he really just do that? “You are so dead,” Michael told him as he dragged him back to the car. “Wasn’t what you just did punishment enough?” Zac asked. “Nope,” Michael stated. “I can drive myself home,” Zac said irritably as he tried to get away from his father’s grasp. “I don’t think so.” “Oh, come on; I’m not drunk.” “You could have fooled me.” Zac mumbled something under his breath. Well, any chance he had of getting Molly was now gone, and now he would not only be the laughing stalk of the entire school, but now everyone knew his father was Michael Lonewell. That would most definitely lead to unnecessary attention. But he 224
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wasn’t going down alone. Thankfully he wasn’t the only one in the school with a famous father. “How much trouble am I in?” Zac asked as they started to drive back to the house. He just hoped his car would be alright until he could come back and get it in the morning. “Don’t ask me that right now,” Michael mumbled. Zac moved toward the door, kind of afraid of how mad his father would get. He was unfortunately in the front seat, and he knew there was no avoiding that. He knew his father wouldn’t do anything, but he was still kind of nervous. His father might not believe in hitting, but he could certainly yell loud enough. Once they got home they both didn’t say anything to each other. Zac was so mad, and Michael wasn’t much better. Zac stormed upstairs as Michael headed into the kitchen. “Where was he?” Carrie asked. “Doing something stupid,” Michael replied in frustration. “Well, remember he’s only a teenager, and doing stupid things is in their nature.” Michael turned to her with a completely straight face. “He went to a party with alcohol and was drinking,” Michael told her. Carrie stared at him in shock. “Oh, wow. What did you do?” “Let’s just say I believe the punishment should fit the crime . If he wanted to drink to look cool, I made sure he didn’t want to show his face again.” Carrie sighed. “Well, I hope Zac thinks twice before doing that again. But it’s not like we’re the best example.” “Hey, I’m over the age of twenty-one, and his reasons for drinking and my reasons for drinking were completely different.” 225
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“I’m just saying, Michael. If you want Zac to take you seriously maybe you shouldn’t give him a reason to see you as a hypocrite.” Michael shook his head. He had tried letting go of alcohol. He just couldn’t. It was what got him through his teenage years, the divorce with Amy, and plenty of other problems in his life. Now he couldn’t live without it, even though looking back it had completely destroyed his life. It was partly the reason he divorced Amy, it was the reason he got Zac taken away, and it probably made him more miserable he just didn’t realize it because he was addicted. Now he was paying for it. He didn’t want to see the same thing happen to Zac. What starts out as just one can turn into more. Besides, he had heard about this new study about alcohol addiction being in your blood. If that was true, he didn’t want Zac to go anywhere near that stuff. Michael went up to Zac’s room and knocked on the door. He wasn’t surprised when Zac didn’t answer. He tried again. “Go away,” Zac finally said. “Zac, I just want to talk,” Michael said. “If you say you’re not drunk talking shouldn’t be a problem.” “I said go away,” Zac repeated. Michael sighed and then opened the door. Zac didn’t even think to lock it. “I don’t want to talk to you,” Zac said, sitting on his bed as if he had just been staring at the ceiling. “Zac, I punish you because I love you. You have no idea what can happen to a child that grows up without discipline. You should feel thankful you have a father that cares enough to tell you right from wrong.” “Well, I’m not feeling the love,” Zac mumbled. 226
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Michael sighed. “Zac, do you have any idea what underage drinking does to you? It may just seem like harmless fun now, but it will end up killing you. There’s a reason they set the twenty-one age. Honestly, I would suggest never getting too involved in the stuff, because it’s very bad for you even when you are over the age of twenty-one and can still be addicting, but the earlier you start the worse it is.” “You are such a hypocrite,” Zac said as he suddenly sprang up from his bed. “I see you drink alcohol all the time. I also know you overdo it on occasion. I know I’m not twentyone yet, but I also know you drank when you were my age.” Michael gave him a look. “You’re right; I did drink when I was your age. And do you want to know what it did to me? It destroyed my life. I became addicted to the stuff and started to rely on it during hard times. It all starts with harmless fun, Zac. I was a teenager once myself, I would know.” “You’re addicted to alcohol?” Zac asked in shock. He knew his father started at a very early age, but he didn’t know he got addicted to it. He knew he drank it a lot, but he didn’t think that meant someone was addicted to it. He just thought he liked it. “Yes, I am. I would appreciate if you wouldn’t spread that around. If that got out I would be doomed.” “Anything else you want to tell me? Maybe you were in a gang? Maybe George isn’t your real brother?” Michael gave him a look. He had no idea what he was saying. “This isn’t a joking matter, Zac.” “Well, if you hid one thing from me, surely there’s more.” “Go to bed, Zac,” Michael said with a look. “I’ll sleep on your punishment and tell you what I’ve decided in the morning.” 227
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“You embarrassed me in front of the entire school. I’m afraid to go back on Monday. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” “Yep, but not enough,” Michael said with a smirk as he walked out of Zac’s room. Zac sat back down on his bed. How did he end up with a famous father that was the most controlling father on the planet? And who gave their child a double whammy with both embarrassment and another punishment? It wasn’t fair. He punched his pillow in frustration. How did his father think he would appreciate being punished? What teenager wanted to be punished? [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] Amy seemed to be on a happy high for the rest of the night, which was something Mark had never seen before. Of course she was happy all the time, but she never hummed and skipped like she was today. He was convinced this was the happiest he had ever seen her. “I hope they come and visit me soon,” she told Mark as she got ready for bed. “I haven’t seen them in so long. I’m not even sure I could picture what they look like.” Mark smiled at her. “I’m sure you’ll get to see them soon. Maybe you should ask for a picture.” “I should,” she said with a nod. “I don’t know that things will ever become perfect and they will truly forgive me, but I hope they’ll at least give me a chance. Kyle seems willing, and Miranda is getting there. It’s my oldest I’m worried about.” “He’ll come through eventually. I can only imagine what goes through a teenage boy’s mind when it comes to 228
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them feeling like they’ve been abandoned. I know a little with Jason, Josh, and John, but my mother was always there.” “I wish I could have been there,” she said sadly. “You’re not mad are you? I mean I know your ex-wife did a number on you and the boys. You probably feel I’m not much better.” “My ex-wife left on purpose, and she left me with three children to raise on my own with no money. I don’t think you’re quite in the same category. I’m not saying I think you did everything you could and they shouldn’t be mad at you; I’m just saying I’m not putting you into the same category as her.” Amy smiled and then suddenly through her arms around him. “Thank you, Mark,” she said. “I wish you could meet them.” Mark smiled. “Well, I wish I could meet them too. Maybe someday we all can meet up. I’m sure they would like to meet their stepbrothers.” “I’m sure they would get along great. In fact, I should probably mention this to the boys. I’m sure they would love to know they have stepbrothers they’ll probably meet eventually.” Mark smiled. “Yeah, you should mention it to them.” Amy fell asleep snuggled next to Mark. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her. After Keith she was sure she would never fall in love again, and she spent her days moping over her depressing life and telling herself nothing would ever get better. Then Mark came along. He was lonely, just as she was, and hadn’t even touched a woman since his wife left him with three boys over fourteen years ago. He was very respectful and very patient with how long it had been and gave her both time and space. He proved to her she could love 229
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again, and even that she could become happy again. Now that she was getting her children back she felt like she had the best life in the world. Nothing would ruin this for her. The boys didn’t give the reaction she was expecting when she told them. “You have children you never see?” Jason asked in outrage. “Did it mean anything to you when you gave birth to them?” “Jason,” Mark barked. “She’s not telling you this so you can shun her. She wants you to get excited about meeting them and to know you have stepsiblings other than Jamie.” “She hasn’t seen them in years,” Jason pointed out. “Don’t you think that means anything to them?” “I know, Jason,” Amy said as she gave him a completely serious look. “I know it’s been a while, and I know you understand exactly what they’re going through, but I never wanted to abandon them, and I have always loved them. It’s different than what happened with your mother.” Jason didn’t look like he was buying it. Even John didn’t look happy about this. Josh was just staring off into space, looking like he was deep in thought. “We’re not passing judgments here, guys,” Mark told them. “We just wanted you to know about your siblings. I thought that would make you excited.” “Do we get to meet them?” Jason asked. “Maybe eventually,” Amy replied. “I’m hoping they’ll come and visit us, but I can’t make any promises. Their father is kind of bitter as well, and I don’t have the money to get them down here.” “Where do they live?” “Rhode Island,” she replied a little disdainfully.
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Mark stared at her in shock. “Rhode Island?” he asked, not knowing that. “What is their father doing all the way down there if you live in California?” “I have no idea. He used to live in Sacramento, but then they moved after he married his new wife. I don’t know why, but I’m assuming he’s happy there since he’s been there for a while. Trouble is, he took the kids with him and they’ve been across the country for years.” “Well, if you ask me, you have the right to be bitter just as much as he does.” “Yeah,” she said with a nod. “I do have the right to be bitter. Michael always makes me look like the bad guy, but he wasn’t perfect either.” Mark grabbed her hand as she door suddenly flew open. Mark literally jumped two feet as all the boys started to laugh. Danielle rushed in, looking like she was ready to scream because she was so happy. “I have amazing news!” she shouted, not even realizing Mark was trying to get back on his chair and the boys were busting a gut. “So do we,” Jason said. “Apparently we have stepsiblings other than Jamie.” Danielle seemed kind of shocked by this. “Really? Have you ever met them?” “Jason, don’t interrupt what she was going to say,” Amy said as she gave him a look. She really just didn’t want him to mention it to her. She didn’t want Danielle to think she was a horrible mother. “Well, guess who just got tickets to the Michael Lonewell concert next month?” she said happily. Jason, Josh, and John looked like they could care less, but Mark and Amy both exchanged glances. “That’s great, 231
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Danielle,” Amy said. “I wasn’t aware he was coming out to California. Where did you get them?” “I won them on a radio,” she said with pride. “It was something where you had to call and be a certain caller. I didn’t think I would win, but I totally did. Now I'm going to go see my all-time favorite singer in person. I'm so excited.” “Michael Lonewell’s too busy to worry about average fans, Danielle,” Jason said. “Sorry to break it to you, but it’s true. But I guess you can hear him live.” “Don’t be such a downer, Jason,” Danielle said with a look. “I want to hear all about your siblings.” “Amy has children she hasn’t seen in a while,” Jason explained. Amy looked rather embarrassed. “It’s complicated,” she told Danielle. “I didn’t want this to happen, but it did. But things will be changing now.” Danielle nodded, trying to decide if Amy was just trying to cover herself for what she did to her children or if she just didn’t know the full story and Amy didn’t feel like explaining it. Amy was such a good person, though. She would love it if she was her mother. Unfortunately all she had was her father, and he was nothing to brag about.“Well, I would love to meet them as well. If they’re related to you they have to be awesome.” Amy smiled. “They are awesome children, but I don’t know if it’s necessarily because they’re related to me.” Danielle smiled, not believing her. Amy was very awesome. She didn’t know where she would be right now if it weren’t for her and Mark. Since the second they moved here they’ve made her life so much easier and have practically made her a member of the family, even though they already had four children, now apparently even more, of their own. 232
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“Well, that’s exciting you get to go to a Michael Lonewell concert,” Amy told her with a smile. “You have no idea how excited I am. I know I’ll just be a number with millions of people there, but at least I actually get to see him in person. I never thought I could go to one of his concerts because not only does he not have them very often, but I also don’t have the money. This is like a dream come true.” “Well, he’s busy,” Amy told her. “I know,” Danielle said with a nod. “He has six children. The fact that he does concerts at all amazes me.” “What is with this sudden interest in Michael Lonewell?” Jason asked. “It’s like you suddenly want to talk about him all the time.” “I got tickets to his concert,” she said as if it were obvious. “I really should go. I have a test I have to study for. I kind of blew it off when I found out about the tickets, and now I’m going to pay for it.” “Oh the stress of going to a private school,” Jason said with a smirk. Mark gave him a look as Danielle just shook her head and walked out. “I love how she knocks,” Jason added. “You shouldn’t give Danielle a hard time about being smart enough to get into a private school,” Mark told him. “I would be very proud of a child that was that smart.” “It’s just a school for snobby rich kids and super smart kids that can handle it. There’s nothing special about it.” “Just don’t give her a hard time. She works hard, and without much support from her father. You don’t need to make her feel like she’s just wasting her time, because she’s not.” “Well, I think she is,” Jason mumbled. As Amy was cleaning up from dinner that night John came in. “Hello, John,” Amy said with a smile. 233
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John didn’t return it. Then again, he didn’t really smile much. He was always super serious and never laughed at a good joke. Jason, on the other hand, was complete opposite and laughed at anything. Mark tried to make jokes to keep the boys smiling, but usually it was just Jason that laughed, and occasionally Amy would to make him feel better. The other kids would laugh at other things, like when Jason did something stupid, but John was always serious. It was very rarely Mark could get him to smile, even as a child. “Do you need some help with the dishes?” he asked. Amy smiled. “John, that’s so sweet of you. I would love it if you dried.” He nodded and then grabbed a rag from the side. He started to dry as Amy went off. “Mark and I both agree that if all our children were like you we would have it made. You’re practically the perfect child that every parent wants. I hope you don’t let life get in the way and change you.” John nodded, having heard this speech many times before from his father. “I don’t know what I did to deserve a son like you, John,” Mark always told him. “If the boys were anything like you I would be the luckiest parent in the world.” John and his father were super close when he was a child, but over the past couple years they had drifted away as John grew older. He started to keep to himself more, and no amount of trying from Mark would get him to open up to him like he did before. They were best friends before, John telling him everything and always being the perfect son. He would do anything if asked without question. He oftentimes had to run from Jason and Josh’s jealousy when they tried to beat him up. They didn’t like that he was the perfect son that always made them look bad, and they didn’t like how he was always their father’s favorite. If 234
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Mark ever caught them hurting him they would be grounded for weeks, but more often than not they got away with it because John was very afraid of his older brothers. He wasn’t as much anymore, but he still had his moments. They also tried to frame him, but Mark always knew it was them. They were always causing some kind of trouble and we’re fair from the perfect children. This caused Mark to majorly play favorites and the boys hated it. Mark was convinced Jason and Josh was the reason John drifted away from him, but he also knew he had to grow up some time and he couldn’t be his best friend forever, as much as he wanted to. He always thought John was very bright and the only thing he had in this world for the longest time that he could brag about to his unsupportive family. The only problem was they liked John so much they said John deserved a better father, and this really made Mark angry. John couldn’t imagine being sent to anyone else but his father. He knew that throughout all his childhood he was what kept his father going most days. He liked coming home and looked forward to spending time with John, and he told him all the time he wouldn’t have fought so much when he was a single parent with three boys if he didn’t have him to come home to and give him hope for his pathetic life. John was never close to his older brothers and felt like their heads were too full of hot air to realize there was so much more out there. He knew he wasn’t exactly planned, but his father never treated him like he was just a burden. Sometimes he wondered if his mother ever considered keeping him, but then told himself if she had he wouldn’t have had the same childhood he did, and he loved his childhood. All his memories included his father and his grandparents. 235
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“You know, John, one of my sons are the same age as you,” Amy told him. “I’m sure you guys would get along just great. He was always rather quiet and was always a mama’s boy. I’m sure you guys would find you had a lot in common.” But John wasn’t really listening. His attention was now on a bill that was sitting on the counter. He peered at it, and got kind of nervous when he saw what he said. WARNING! THIS IS YOUR SECOND NOTICE. YOUR RENT IS OVERDUE. IF YOU DON’T MAKE THE PAYMENT BY JANUARY 1, 2014, WE’LL BE FORCED TO SEND YOU AN EVACUATION NOTICE. John stared at it in shock. January 1st? That was only a couple weeks from now. Did his father have a plan? Was he going to pay it, or were they going to have to move? Why hadn’t he heard anything about this until now? What was going on? “What are you looking at, John?” Amy asked, realizing something was engaging his attention. She went over there and stared at the bill. How long had this been sitting here? She hadn’t noticed it before. But she didn’t have time to assure John everything would be fine, because she suddenly stomped down the hallway like she was about to yell at Mark. John stared at the bill for a little while longer. It wasn’t like this was the first time they had gotten a notice like this, and they had gotten plenty of thirty day notices before, but their father had promised them when they moved to these terrible apartments that things would be changing. He would no longer move them from cruddy apartment to even cruddier apartment, and when he married Amy things were supposed to be great. He would be much happier and they would now have 236
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a second income, but it looked like things weren’t going as well as they should have been. He sighed. He loved his father, but he desperately wished he made more money. His life had been one giant problem, all involving money. As Chris got ready for school, he felt super nervous. He was going in slow motion, hoping if he was late enough his mother would just let him stay home. This wasn’t even his idea. His old principal had told his parents he was such a gifted teenager and if he wanted to succeed even more in his life there were other options that just a simple public school. His mother had convinced him to take the test, even though he told her over and over again a public school was fine and he didn’t need to go to some fancy school. But she wouldn’t hear of it. After he got in he told himself not to worry, convincing himself there was no way his parents could afford it. But he was in shock when his father came home one day and told him he had some people coming over that might offer him a scholarship. He wanted to please his parents, but he didn’t want to go to some fancy school. He couldn’t believe they had chosen him. There must have been plenty more applicants, but they told him he was the one they wanted to sponsor. At first he thought there had surely been a mistake, but his parents just told him he was so smart and now he had the chance to reach his full potential. He had done his best when he applied and the people came over, but he thought there was no way he could have been chosen out of the others. But now here he was, off to this new school for the first time. Both of his parents had been bragging about it for weeks and they beamed whenever 237
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he came into the room. He hated it. He hated that he seemed to be so perfect without even trying. He came downstairs and was immediately attacked by his mother. “You need to learn to tie a tie,” she told him as she fiddled with his tie. “You can’t go to this school without it tied right. Of course that’s your father’s job, but he doesn’t know how to tie a tie either.” “I do too,” his father said as he came in. He was a very tall and intimidating man of six foot seven, with a very big frame and a mustache that added to it. His mother wasn’t scary looking at all. She was short and plump, with a sweet smile and a very caring personality. Most days Chris didn’t even know how his parents fell in love. Of course family was on the top of both of their priority lists, and he knew his father well enough to know he had a major soft side, but they weren’t the same people. “Then how come you never wear one?” she asked with a smirk. He looked a little offended as she finished tying his tie. “I could have done that,” he mumbled. “Why does it even matter?” Chris asked in annoyance. “The guy told us when he came over that they didn’t have a dress code. It’s just a fancy and rich school. You can wear jeans like any normal school.” “Chris, this is your first day,” his mother said. “You need to make a good impression. Soon enough you’ll bring home tons of friends and you guys can form study groups. Then afterwards you can go to the movies. You’ll love it so much and someday you’ll thank us for all the pushing we did.” “I highly doubt it,” Chris mumbled, not really wanting to make a bunch of nerdy friends. He was smart, but he didn’t consider himself a nerd. He wanted friends he could hang out 238
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with on weekends without having to bring up school work. That was how it should be. “How about we talk about this after your first day?” his mother said with a smile. “I’m driving you up there,” his father said like this was some kind of honor. “Please tell me you’re not on duty.” His father shook his head. “No, I was just going to take the small car.” Chris sighed in relief. The last thing he needed was his father showing up in a police car. That would go over well on the first day of this new school. The entire ride there his father kept telling him how great this was and how he wanted to hear all about his first day of school. Chris was rather annoyed. He and his father had never been close. He was fairly close to his mother as a child, but that died away over time. He never felt like he had anything in common with his father, and despite his father's best efforts, Chris had continued to pull away. But he never stopped trying and strived for every opportunity he could to find a bond with him. He most likely wouldn’t tell him the truth about the first day of school. He already knew it wouldn’t go well. He tried to keep his head up high as he headed to his first class. He was at a nice school and he was sure there were some good people within all the faces. He just needed to find them. He saw a very pretty girl stop next to him with a smile. She had short, curly dark hair and brown eyes. She looked like she tried a little too hard in the morning, but Chris found himself drawn to her. “Hey, your shoes are untied,” she said as she pointed down. 239
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He looked down at his feet but didn’t see that his shoes were untied. He already felt like an idiot for wearing dressy clothes while everyone else was in jeans and a t-shirt, so he didn’t want an untied shoe added to it. That must have been why she had stopped him; she wanted to humiliate the stupid kid in the slacks. She knocked all his books out of his hand. He stared at her in shock. “Whoops,” she said with somewhat of a smirk. “My bad.” But he didn’t have time to reply, because someone suddenly came rushing up. She had long, wavy blond hair and brown eyes. She gave the other girl a look. “Don’t you have anything better to do than to be a jerk to everyone, Brenda?” she asked. Brenda gave her a look. “Watch it, Janessa,” she said. “I know you feel like it’s your duty to be the mean police, but you just end up doing more harm than good. I hope you two form a great friendship,” she said with a smirk as she looked back to Chris. “You look like you could use a body guard.” She then walked away as Chris picked up his books. Janessa attempted to help him but he pushed her away. He started to walk down the hallway but she stopped him. “Hey, I’m sorry,” she told him. “I was just trying to help.” “I don’t know if anyone told you this, but boys don’t like girls fighting their battles for them,” he told her. “I just can’t stand it when Brenda is a jerk to people. It’s not right. Besides, how would you fight her? Anything you say would be considered horrible because you’re a guy taking on a girl. I just helped you because I’m a girl myself.” “Well, thanks for nothing,” Chris mumbled, still trying to get away from her. 240
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“Can I at least get a name?” she asked. He sighed. “Chris, Chris Johnson.” She smiled. “I’m Janessa Dalton. I haven’t seen you around. Are you new here?” “Yeah.” “Are you new to the city or just new to the school?” Chris kind of hesitated to answer her. He didn’t want to go around telling everyone he had moved here because he had got a scholarship. Technically he didn’t move, so of course they would put two and two together. But Janessa already knew the answer from his “Advanced Mathematics and Formula Equations” textbook. No sophomore would be taking that class unless they were here by scholarship. “Well, I guess I’m just new to the school,” he mumbled. “Don’t sweat it,” she said with a smile. “I’m here by scholarship too. Sometimes it’s hard living up to your parent’s expectations.” He stared at her. Perhaps they had more in common than he thought. “You know, if you ever need someone to talk to during lunch you shouldn’t hesitate to sit by me. I’m sure you don’t have many friends since you’re new here and all.” “Thanks,” he said with a smile. Then the bell rang. “I should get to class,” she told him. “But remember what I said.” He smiled as she walked down the hall. He would never admit that his father was right, but would he thank him someday? Once lunchtime came around he was battling with himself on whether or not he should go sit with her. He knew he should be thankful for her standing up for him, but he was still kind of mad because now everyone would think of him as 241
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the loser that had to have a girl fight his battles for him. But she seemed nice enough and he was never one to blow someone off because of their popularity status. He was sure she didn’t mean to make him look like an idiot. He didn’t know anyone here, so sitting next to her didn’t seem so bad. But would she find that weird? Was she offering because she was desperate, or maybe she felt bad for him and wanted to make it up to him? He told himself to stop thinking too much and headed over there anyway. Janessa was sitting next to another girl with dark hair and green eyes. They were laughing and talking like they were good friends. Chris suddenly had second thoughts. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be friends with two girls. Would that cause problems with other potential friends down the road? Either way, he made himself walk over there. Danielle seemed to give her a strange look while Janessa gave him a smile. “Hello, Chris,” she said. “Would you like to join us?” He nodded as he slowly sat down. He had never been good at making friends. Even when he was a child he used to come home crying because he felt no one liked him. If he could make some friends on the first day of school, he would have it made. “Danielle, this is Chris,” Janessa said as she motioned toward him. “He’s new here.” “Oh really?” Danielle asked. “I remember my first day here. It’s was actually kind of scary. People here don’t respond well if you’re here by scholarship. It’s kind of a stupid system if you ask me. We work hard to get here, while they just flaunt their parent’s money.” “I completely agree,” Chris said, thankful he had already found two people he could relate to. Maybe not 242
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everyone here was so bad after all. If he got the social environment down he knew he could handle the academic. In his eyes the social was the worst part. “Janessa, I wanted to tell you I’m going to a very special concert next month.” Janessa gave her a confused look. “A concert? Where did you get money for that? Did someone ask you on a date?” Danielle laughed. “No. Michael Lonewell is coming out next month, and guess who has tickets?” Janessa looked at her in shock. “Where did you get tickets to see someone as popular as Michael Lonewell?” “I won them on the radio. I didn’t think I had any chance but I just decided to go for it and then I was in shock when they told me I had won. You have no idea how excited I am. This is like a dream come true. I know I won’t get to meet him like I’ve always dreamed, but I’ll be seeing him in person. You have no idea how awesome this is for me.” “Oh, I think I do,” Janessa said with a smirk. “That’s awesome,” Chris said, not wanting to feel like a third wheel. “In a city this big you must be very lucky to win tickets to someone that popular.” “You have no idea how lucky I am. Are you a fan of him?” “Sort of,” Chris replied. “I’m not a huge fan but I do have a few select songs I like of his that I hear on the radio and around. However, my mother is completely obsessed with him. She has every CD he’s ever made and tells me all the time he’s one of the better examples of the media and has an angelic voice.” Janessa laughed. “I think Michael Lonewell is one of those singers mostly thirty and forty year old women like. Oh, and Danielle,” she added with a smirk. 243
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Danielle gave her a look. “Well, I like Michael Lonewell and I’m not afraid to admit it. He has very inspiring songs for any age group. But I forget, I’m supposed to like rap and screamo to be considered a ‘normal’ teenager.” “That’s not what I was saying. I just find it funny you like someone so much that most teenagers don’t really care for. I agree with Chris; he’s alright, but more our parent’s generation than our generation.” “Whatever you say, Janessa. I like him and that won’t be changing.” Janessa smiled as they continued to eat their food. Chris wondered where this would lead. He would love some friends, but spending a lot of time with a pair of girls that were apparently best friends would not only get annoying after a while, but would also make him look bad to other people at the school. He just wanted some friends, and these guys seemed nice enough. Maybe in time things would get better, but for now he just had to realize there was something sitting right in front of him and he would be stupid not to take it. [][][][][][][][][][][][] “I just can’t believe you didn’t ask me before you agreed to do this,” Carrie told Michael, not looking very happy. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe I should know about something like this before you agree so I can plan accordingly? It won’t be you who has to watch all the kids; you’ll be too busy riding around in a limo and talking to obsessed fans.” “Carrie, I didn’t have anything to do with this. They told me it was in my contract since I haven’t done one in so long. I didn’t really tell them yes; I just didn’t fight it. Besides, 244
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it’s been a while. I’m sure my fans would love to know I’m still doing concerts and can sing live.” “So you’re going out to California to do this big concert while I get to stay home and take care of the kids?” “Well, I think you’re under the assumption I’m going to be living it up while you’re here watching kids. That’s completely not true. You’ll be dealing with Lorie and the others while I’ll be dealing with screaming fans, singing songs, and signing autographs. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. It will be very stressful and time consuming. It’s not like I wanted to do with it. And if you want to come you totally can. Maybe we could rent a hotel or something.” “And have the kids miss school? Or maybe you would like to hire a nanny.” Michael sighed. “Alright, forget I even brought it up. I can’t get out of this. I’m sorry, alright. My new album is coming out this summer and I still have tons of things I need to do for it, so I might be gone for a few “I know,” she mumbled, not sounding very happy about it. “I thought we were through this,” Michael said, now being the one that sounded irritated. She had been married to him for eight years. They should have been far past this by now. “I know, alright. You’re a famous singer that has millions of fans. You make tons of money and the paparazzi stalk you. I know we’ve been through this.” “Hey,” Michael said as he grabbed her hand. “You know I try my best to make my life as normal as possible. You know I don’t do what normal celebrities do, and that won’t change. I’ll I’m asking is to be able to do a concert. I’ll be 245
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back as soon as I can, and I’ll be thinking about you and the kids the entire time.” Carrie smiled. She knew he was just telling her what she wanted to hear, but she didn’t mind. She guessed it was probably nice for him to have some time to himself while he signed autographs and acted like a celebrity should, but where was her time to herself? It seemed like she was always watching children while he went out and flaunted his life to the world. Sometimes being married to someone who was famous wasn’t always great. Michael, on the other hand, was quite excited about this. He had spent so much time at home, pretending he was a normal father with a normal job, he had missed the excitement of being up on stage and showing his talents to the world. That was what he had dreamed when he was a child, and now that he had finally reached his dream it seemed as though he forgot about it. Yes, he was famous, but one of the best parts of being famous was showing the world what he could do. He would get to drive around in a limo, stay in a nice and expensive hotel, eat from five star restaurants, and then feel the rush of going up in front of millions of people, all calling out his name and all of them being there for him. It was the dream life, and he certainly didn’t want to give it up completely to have a normal family life. This was his moment.
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Chapter Eleven
big crowds and hurt feelings
D
anielle came out of her apartment with a smile on.
Nothing could ruin this for her. She had two tickets to Michael Lonewell’s concert in her pocket, and she couldn’t have been happier. She stopped by Mark and Amy’s apartment as she came home, not wanting her dirty house and mean father to ruin her mood. She came in, of course without knocking, and was surprised to see that no one was in the kitchen. Their apartment was so small there was usually always someone in the kitchen because they didn’t like to be crammed all together in one 247
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space. She came into the living room and saw the four children, Jason, Josh, John, and Jamie, all sitting on the couch. She gave them a weird look. “What’s going on?” she asked. “Fighting,” Jason mumbled. Danielle listened and then realized what he was talking about. Amy and Mark were arguing, although she couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. “And you just didn’t tell me we were that far behind?” Amy shouted. Mark said something along the lines of, “Christmas shouldn’t be ruined.” “I don’t think I’ve ever heard them fight before,” Danielle said, rather sad because now that had destroyed her perfect mood. “Oh, we have,” Jason told her, "and it’s always about the same thing.” “Money?” Danielle guessed. “Yep.” “Hey, cheer up, guys. All parents fight, and money is a very big topic that plenty of couples fight about. It’s just a fact of life. It doesn’t mean they’re getting divorced or anything.” “Well, this is bad,” John mumbled. Jason gave him a look. “Do you know something we don’t?” “No,” John lied. Jason didn’t seem to like that answer. “How about Josh and I hang you from the roof? That will get you to tell us, won’t it?” “Guys, be nice,” Danielle said with a look. “He’s your younger brother. You’re supposed to protect him, not bully him.” 248
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“Someone has temper issues,” John mumbled. Jason looked like he was ready to tackle him, but then he stopped himself and went down the hallway mumbling under his breath instead. Josh followed him, while Jamie seemed to preoccupy herself with something out the window. “John, what is going on?” Danielle asked. “Is everything alright? Are you having financial problems?” “Danielle, when are we not having financial problems?” John asked with a look. “Yes, we are, but they’re pretty bad this time. We’re really behind on our rent and we got a notice saying if we don’t pay by the first of January we would be evicted.” Danielle stared at him in shock. “Are you serious? I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. You guys are the best thing that ever happened to these apartments and I don’t want to see you go. Will you guys have a place to stay?” “My grandparents,” John said with no emotion, "but I highly doubt my father will want to call them up and tell them our situation. Then again, it’s not like it hasn’t happened in the past. The only difference is now he's married so it will look twice as pathetic.” “I’m sure your father will figure something out. He would never leave his family with nothing. I know he’s not that type of guy.” “Well, he would never do it on purpose, but if he had no choice it he would.” Danielle sighed. “Whatever you say, John. I’m sure everything will be fine.” Danielle didn’t actually think everything would be fine. She was worried. She couldn’t watch as the only people who ever made her feel like she had a family left, and she couldn’t watch them suffer like that. She had to do something. 249
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But she was only a sixteen-year-old teenager with a simple fast food job, and she had her father’s bills that he never paid to worry about. She didn’t have the money to help them, and even if she did she knew Mark wouldn’t accept it. She wasn’t sure what to do, but she certainly couldn’t just sit here and do nothing. [][][][][][][][][][][] Zac sat on the couch as Kyle sat on the other couch. They were both staring at each other, although neither one of them knew exactly why. They didn’t say anything, rather just kept staring at each other. Michael came in, seeming to be on a high of some kind, and then gave them a weird look when he saw them staring at each other. “Are you guys having a staring contest?” he asked. “No,” Zac replied as he took his eyes off Kyle. Michael shook his head. Why couldn’t they just get along? They were bothers! “You guys should learn to get along,” he told them. “Remember that’s he’s the only full brother you’ll ever have, so you guys should cherish that. I’m sure plenty of children with divorced parents, or even just children in general, who would love to have a sibling, especially a full one. Don’t take what you have for granted.” They weren’t really listening. They were both off in their own worlds. “Did you guys hear?” Michael said in an effort to get their attention. “I’m doing a concert in California next month. It’s been a while, so I’m very excited.” That got their attention, because they both looked up in surprise. “Really?” Zac asked. “You haven’t done a concert 250
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in forever. Why did you suddenly decide to do one now? I mean your new album isn’t even out yet.” “Well, to be honest I didn’t really have a choice in the matter, but I’m not upset about it. My label decided I really needed to get out there and show people I’m still alive, so they planned this without even asking me about it. But it’s alright. I’m going to have a great time and I’m going to remind myself why I became famous in the first place. It’s not always great, so things like this remind me why it is great.” “So do we get to come?” Zac asked in excitement. He hadn’t been out to California since thanksgiving. They went every year, but they usually just came to visit family. The thought of seeing his father in concert was kind of cool. How many teenagers could say they had a famous father that they got to see perform in front of everyone? “Sorry, Zac,” Michael said with a sad look. “You have school. But you can watch my concert later. Of course I would want you guys to see it.” “So you get to go up in front of millions of people, all of them screaming your name, while we have to go to school?” “You sound like Carrie. Don’t forget I’m the one who’s famous. You were just lucky enough to tag along.” Zac gave him a look, not liking what he just said. “You’ll be fine. School needs to be your number one priority.” Zac looked at him in annoyance. He was totally preaching to the choir. He barely graduated high school. Then again, their life when Zac was a kid proved what it did to him. “So are we ever going to get to see you perform live?” “You’ve seen me perform. I do concerts in Rhode Island from time to time, and I used to do go out to California every now and again just a few years ago to do concerts.” 251
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“Yeah, but it’s been forever. I would like a recent memory.” “You’re going to school and that’s final. I’m sure it won’t kill you knowing you can’t see me perform. Sorry, but that’s the way it is.” Zac gave him a look, indicating he didn’t like this one bit. He had a famous father and he didn’t even get to enjoy it like he felt he should. He knew his father insisted they had the most normal life possible. He didn’t understand why. Living it up in Hollywood life sounded amazing to him. They didn’t have to end up complete jerks just to have the Hollywood life. How could his father not understand that? “This is very exciting for your father,” Carrie told them all that night at dinner. “It’s been years since he’s done a concert. I know you’re disappointed you can’t go,” she said as she looked at Zac, “but he doesn’t need a bunch of kids hanging around.” “When is your new album coming out?” Emily asked in excitement. “This summer,” Michael replied. “This concert will pretty much be prep for that. I want to remind everyone why I’m famous in the first place. If they get a little taste of what I can do now, by time the summer comes they’ll all be lining up to buy my new CD.” “Your fans consist of middle aged women,” Zac told him. “It doesn’t matter what you do before your CD comes out, because they’ll still line up to buy it.” Michael gave him a look and Carrie tried to keep from laughing. “Just because you don’t like my music, Zac, doesn’t mean all teenagers don’t like it. I’m sure there are plenty of teenagers out there who love my music and buy my CD. I’m 252
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very popular in even more than just the US. Do you honestly think all those people are middle aged women?” “Yes,” Zac said with a smirk. Michael turned to Kyle. “Kyle, do you like my music?” Kyle looked nervous. “Well...” he mumbled. “Do I have to answer?” Zac laughed, and even Carrie couldn’t help herself by this point. Michael turned to Carrie, looking shocked as she tried to act like she hadn’t just been laughing. “I work hard on my music, alright,” Michael said. “I’ve accomplished so much, and it doesn’t matter who likes me and who doesn’t. I’m just going to keep going.” Kyle and Zac were staring at him, while Carrie felt like she should probably say something. “Of course you work hard,” she told him with a smile. “And this concert will remind everyone why they love you, whether they’re a middle aged woman or not.” Michael smiled at her. “Well, at least someone has faith in me,” he said as he gave Zac a look. Zac seemed to blow it off as he continued to eat his dinner. Carrie gave him enough support for the entire family, so he didn’t see why it mattered. Besides, if he wasn’t willing to let him go see him in concert, he didn’t understand why he demanded support. Later that night Carrie went to go put Lorie to bed. “Goodnight, honey,” she told her with a smile as she gave her a kiss. “Goodnight, mommy,” Lorie said as she snuggled up in the covers. Carrie smiled. She wished Lorie could stay little forever. She didn’t want to see either her or Tyler grow up. 253
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She stopped by Tyler’s room before she went to bed, giving him a kiss as well and then shutting his door. He was already out, which wasn’t surprising. He always went to bed early and then got up before everyone else. What he did throughout the day was beyond her, but he was a complete early bird. Maybe he preferred getting up early so he would have more time not to have to worry about people bothering him. She sighed. She only wished he would want to communicate with them. Even if he WAS mute, he didn’t seem to try to communicate with anyone period. The least he could do was try. She came into the bedroom and snuggled with Michael. She looked up, realizing Michael looked like he was thinking about something. “What’s on your mind, Michael?” she asked. Michael sighed. “Carrie, would you like my music if I wasn’t your husband? I mean you had never even heard of me before I told you I just got a hit single, and you don’t seem to listen to a lot of music other than mine as it is. If things ended up differently and you had no idea who I was, but just that I was a famous person that lived a while away from where you lived, would you like my music?” Carrie gave him a surprised looked, wondering why he was suddenly asking about this now. “Well, I don’t know, Michael. I just never really listen to the radio. I have a lot of goals in life and none of them really involve music, so I’m not obsessed with it or popular music like most people are these days. I guess I would say I would think your music was alright, but I probably wouldn’t be a fan just for the sole fact I wouldn’t really like music in general.” 254
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He nodded, trying to decide if he was alright with that answer. Was she trying to get out of saying she wouldn’t really like his music if she wasn’t obligated to? He knew he had millions of fans worldwide, but what did it all matter if his family just supported him because they felt like they had to? Of course George and Maybell had always supported him in his music, but more often than not he felt like they were just saying nice things to spare his feelings, even if the song really did suck. Did all his family think his music was good just because he was related to them? “Don’t worry about it, Michael,” Carrie told him as she came closer. “You are a very talented individual and no one can tell you otherwise. I don’t see them having millions of fans, more money than they know what to do with, and an amazing talent that they can show off to the world.” He smiled at her. “Well, I guess that makes me feel a little better.” He gave her a kiss and then lied down. He just hoped she wasn’t just telling him what he wanted to hear. What kind of fame would he have if his family didn’t even fully support him in it? [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] Danielle had been battling with herself all week, and she knew what she had to do. She couldn’t just sit here and watch Mark and Amy get evicted from their home. She would be crushed if something happened to them. She had to make a decision. She was excited to get the chance to see Michael Lonewell in person, but she wanted Mark and Amy to stay more.
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She had been thinking about putting them up online to sell, but a conversation between her and Chris gave her another idea. “My mother is one of those crazed fans who would wait in line all day just to see him pass by with a wave,” Chris told her as they were eating lunch. Janessa looked like she could care less, but Danielle seemed very interested. “So is she going to his concert?” Danielle asked. Chris shook his head. “You were very lucky to win tickets. My mom tried, but didn’t have any luck. He’s only doing one show and everyone else in the state wants to see him as well, so the tickets sold out within the first ten minutes they went on sell. Of course there are still some tickets you can buy, but their prices are jacked up just because the person who’s selling them can get any price they want off them. My mother would have loved to go, but that’s life. She’s not too down about it, though. I mean, sitting in the back of a giant room, watching someone from a far distant that you’re supposed to love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” “You’re completely right,” Danielle agreed, still trying to make herself feel better about this. “But if you could get some decent tickets for a decent price, would you buy them for your mother?” “That would be awesome. It’s actually my mother's birthday next month. She would love me forever if I could get her tickets, but I know that’s not going to happen. I’m thinking of pitching in with my dad and getting her a new sewing machine. She loves sewing.” Janessa gave Danielle a weird look. “Why are you asking, Danielle?” she asked. “Nothing, I was just curious,” she said nervously. She wondered what Janessa would say if she said she was thinking 256
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about selling her tickets to help Mark and Amy with their rent. Surely she would try to talk her out of it. She couldn’t let her talk her out of it. She would tell her when everything was said and done. Once school got out she caught up with Chris on his way out. He seemed to be engaged in one of his textbooks over by the school steps. She assumed he was waiting for his ride. “Hello, Chris,” she said with a smile as she came over. Chris looked up. “Hello,” he said. “I’m just waiting for my father to get here since he doesn’t think I can handle driving myself to school apparently.” Danielle laughed. “Oh, I wish I had a car. But I need to talk to you about something before your ride gets here.” Chris put the books away, indicating he was listening. “What would you say if I told you I could get you reasonably priced tickets to Michael Lonewell concert that you could give to your mom for her birthday?” Chris gave her a weird look. “Well, I guess I would look into it. I mean that would be nice and my mother would love it.” “Well, when I say you can get them I don’t mean from a store of some sort. I’m kind of having financial difficulties right now, and I could really use the money over the tickets I won.” Chris stared at her. Part of him kind of felt bad. If she was desperate enough to do this then surely it wasn’t easy for her to come to him and admit it. Then again, surely she would give him a good price for them, and his mother would love him forever. “Well, of course I’m interested. I understand your situation, and my mother would love me for life if I gave her Michael Lonewell concert tickets for her birthday. Just 257
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remember something. My father has three sides,” he said as he held up three fingers. “There’s the police officer/law enforcement side, there’s the parent side, and then there’s the overprotective father, only has one child side. Whatever I do I risk crossing one of those sides, and then bad things happen. I’m not sure if this would fall into that category in his eyes.” Danielle laughed. “I didn’t know your father was a police officer. That’s so cool. I’m allowed to sell the tickets. It’s not illegal or anything. It’s wrong to mark up the price like most sellers do, but you’re a friend and I’m not that type of person. I just really need the money. I’m not trying to scam you or anything.” “Well, of course I know that,” he said with a smile. “How about I talk to my father about it? I probably couldn't afford them without his help anyway, so I’ll need to ask him for both reasons.” “Not a problem. Just let me if you’re interested. If not, I’ll probably just sell them online or something. By no means feel obligated. I mean they’re Michael Lonewell tickets. I could probably sell them anywhere.” Chris smiled. He couldn’t wait to see the look on his mother’s face if his father actually agreed to this. Then again, there was only one thing his father hated more than criminals, and that was Michael Lonewell... He came home and sure enough his mother was in the kitchen listening to some music. He came closer and recognized Michael Lonewell’s voice. He could hear his mother singing along to it. I’m falling, falling down So help me off the ground It’s so dark and I’m so scared Why isn’t anybody there? 258
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I don’t see the me I used to be I don’t cry for anything There’s no emotion left I’m anybody’s guess How can I find me? Why can’t somebody see, the person that I long to be? My heart longs to be free Come find me the person that’s invisible Isn’t there anybody that wants to know? I feel it is impossible ‘Cause now it’s time to run and go How can I find me? How can I find me? How can I find me? Why can’t I let somebody see, the person that I long to be? My heart longs to be free So lost so blind Falling behind I’m torn to pieces There’s not much for this How can I find me? Why can’t somebody see, the person that I long to be? My heart longs to be free 259
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How can I find me? Why can’t I let somebody see, the person that I long to be? My heart longs to be free “And that’s Michael Lonewell’s hit single, ‘How Can I Find Me,’” the guy on the radio said. “In honor of him coming out to California for a concert for the first time in years, we got a night full of his songs for you guys. For those of you going to the concert, this will be a great way to learn the songs so you can sing along at the concert. He’ll also be playing some new stuff at the concert, so it's worth going to for any Michael Lonewell fan.” His mother seemed to smile, although Chris wasn’t sure why. “Hi, mom,” he said with a smile as he came fully into the kitchen. “Hello, honey,” she smiled back. She didn’t seem to be doing anything, so Chris wondered why she was in the kitchen. “Would you want to go to his concert?” he asked casually. She beamed as though he had already told her he was getting tickets. “Of course I do,” she said a bit too excitingly for someone her age. “But I don’t really have much chance. I can still imagine the feeling of knowing he’ll be out in California. Life isn’t always perfect, but I have more important things to worry about than someone like Michael Lonewell. I just wish I would get to meet him before I die. That’s my ultimate dream.” He laughed. “You should mention this to dad. I’m sure he would love to hear it.” 260
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She gave him a look, wondering if he was joking. “The last thing your father wants to hear is something about Michael Lonewell. I wish he wasn’t so controlling about it, otherwise I could listen to him at all times during the day and not just when your father isn’t home. But it’s okay, honey. Your father will treat me to a lovely birthday either way and I know he loves me, despite the fact we don’t see eye-to-eye in all things.” “I meant just tell him how much it means to you. I know he doesn’t want to hear it, but he might need some reminding every now and again.” Then Chris gave her that face that always got him his way. He was his mother’s only, and because of that she was convinced she had to always keep him happy. Thankfully his father was strict enough he never used that to his advantage, but in this case he needed this to happen so she could soften his father up before he brought up the tickets. “Well, I suppose I could mention it to him,” she said rather low. “But if he ignores me for the rest of the night because of that jealousy problem of his, I can’t be held responsible.” Chris nodded. He used to find his jealousy problem funny, but over the years it just got annoying. For a man as large and stubborn as he was, it was rather surprising something as simple as Michael Lonewell got him so jealous. Chris thought he had no need to be, but it had been going on since before Chris could remember. “How was school today?” she asked him. The question had taken him by surprise. He wasn’t really sure. “Well, it was average, I suppose,” he replied. “Are you making friends?” 261
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“Yes,” he replied, afraid for her reaction. His mother had a tendency to freak out about little things so as long as it involved him. It was really annoying. “Honey, that’s great,” she said with just the reaction he was afraid of. “What are their names? Are they a boy or a girl? Have you guys planned study dates yet? Are they there by scholarship like you?” Chris sighed. “Mom, don’t make this weird.” “I’m sorry,” she said, looking rather embarrassed. “But at least tell me if they’re a boy or a girl.” Chris shook his head. This was just great. “They’re both girls. It’s not like that,” he added quickly. “We’re just friends. One of them helped me out on the first day of school and now we’ve pretty much become friends as well as with her other friend who’s also a girl. It means nothing, and in time I’ll get some guy friends.” His mother seemed to be smirking, but surprisingly didn’t say anything. “Do these girls have a name?” “Danielle and Janessa,” he replied, not knowing last names, and not really wanting to give them to his mother for that matter. “Well, I think that’s great.” Chris was just thankful she didn’t say cute. That would have been so typical of her. “Making friends is the first step on the road to success at a school as hard as that. But I know you’ll face everything that comes in your way, and then someday you'll go off to a great college and become something great.” Chris shook his head. Here we go again. “Whatever,” he mumbled as he went upstairs. His mother, Whitney, shook her head. She only wished he could see himself the way she saw him. If he did he would know he was amazing and everything she could ever ask for. 262
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Maybe she was only able to have one child, contrary to what she always wanted, but Chris was amazing enough that she learned to accept it. Chris was more than she could have asked for. Chris got nervous when he heard his parents arguing. Well, it wasn’t really arguing; at least for his father. His mother only argued when he really made her upset, while he had a loud voice that always made someone feel like he was arguing. If his father was actually arguing, you would know. “Whitney, even if I did somehow get tickets to his stupid, overrated concert I wouldn’t go,” he told her. “He’s just some popular, pretty boy, that like every celebrity out there, doesn’t write his own music and is just a face for the media.” “That’s not true,” she said in outrage. Chris practically had their Michael Lonewell arguments memorized by now. Now she would go on about how he was amazing and one of the better examples of the media. “Michael Lonewell is a country singer with very high values and amazing talent. He does write his own songs. If you would even get him a chance and not just write him off you would know that. He has a very large family and loves it.” “Or he just can’t control his hormones,” Sam mumbled. Chris knew that would set her off. He sighed. It wasn’t like they fought often. Michael Lonewell was one of the few subjects that would get them worked up the second it was brought up. He didn’t mean to start a fight. He wasn’t hoping this would go opposite of what it was going now since it was almost his mother’s birthday. “You did not just say that!” “Oh, I think I did.” 263
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“Sam, for the tenth thousandth time; I’m not going to run off with him. If that’s honestly what you think than why do I do so much for you? Why do I tell you every day how much I love you. I like him as a singer, not as a husband like I do you.” Sam shook his head. He was so done with this argument. Chris knew his father would never admit it, but he was majorly jealous of Michael Lonewell. Here he was, having all the money he could ever want with six children. Both of his parents had been upset when they found out they couldn’t have any children. They ended up with him, but only having one child while they watched everyone else have many and often unwanted children made them both upset. He took it out on Michael Lonewell, convincing himself his wife would run off with him if she could. As it was true his mother really liked Michael Lonewell, Chris knew it was nothing physical. His mother loved his father and he knew that wouldn’t change. Hopefully they both calmed down since her birthday was so close. His father would never ruin her birthday for her. After dinner Chris seized his chance. He took a deep breath, knowing his father wouldn’t react well to it. But at least he could say he tried. “Hey, dad,” he said with a smile. Sam gave him a look as he turned around. He tried to look happy, but Chris could tell he was still upset about the argument they just got into. “Hello, Chris,” he said, not really having his heart into it. “So, I need to talk to you about something,” he said nervously. “Sit down,” Sam said with a smile Chis wasn’t expecting. Chris sat down. “Chris, if this is about a girl there’s some things you should know. First off-” 264
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“Dad,” Chris said, now embarrassed. “This has nothing to do with a girl.” “Oh,” Sam said, straightening up a bit. “Well, when that day comes, I’m here.” Chris rolled his eyes. His father was the last person he would come to about girl advice. “This is about mom’s birthday,” he said, looking around to make sure his mother wasn’t in hearing range. “Oh,” Sam said, suddenly smiling. “Well, if you want to help me out with the sewing machine I’m totally fine with that. You know your mother wouldn’t care either way. You don’t have to contribute much. I understand you’re a young teenager without a job. You’ll still get plenty of credit.” “Well, actually, I have an idea for a better gift than a sewing machine.” Sam gave him a weird look. “Michael Lonewell tickets,” Chris said, attempting to smile but having a hard time when he saw the look on his father’s face. “Chris, even if I did want to go along with that, his concert is sold out, so it doesn’t matter. Don’t you think if it wasn’t sold out your mother would have found a way to buy his tickets by now? He’s some over popular celebrity. I highly doubt your mother will ever meet him, despite how much she wants to.” “Well, that’s just it. One of my new friends from school is having some financial difficulties, and she has a pair of tickets she’s willing to sell me. She’ll give me a decent price for them, and if I don’t want them she’ll just sell them online.” Sam turned away. “If you want to buy tickets from your friend who am I to stop you? Just make sure you’re not getting scammed.”
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Chris sighed. “Dad, I’m telling you this because I can’t pay for them alone. You’re right; I’m a young teenager without a job and the tickets will be at least five-hundred.” “No way,” Sam said quickly. “I’m not spending fivehundred dollars on a concert to see some over rated singer in a room with thousands of others. A sewing machine would be much better. Besides, two tickets aren’t enough if we plan to take your mother, and I’m not giving you money for something that won’t even matter in the end.” “Dad, this is mom we’re talking about. Imagine the look on her face when she opens that new sewing machine. Maybe she’ll pretend to cry a little, and then she’ll hug us both and tell us we’re the best. She’ll get rid of her old sewing machine and then use it on occasion. "Now if we get her Michael Lonewell tickets she’ll actually cry, hug us so tight we won’t be able to breathe, and then spend the next month reminding us how awesome we are. Then it won’t stop there. Imagine how happy she’ll be after the concert. She’ll go off about how awesome it was, and then we’ll hear about it and once again how awesome we are for the next year. But if you don’t want to, I understand. Maybe I could talk to mom about it. I mean it would be terrible if I not only ruined the surprise but also had to make her buy her own birthday present, but I’m sure she wouldn’t turn it down if I told her about it.” That got him. He seemed to be pondering what he just said. Chris smiled. Despite how stubborn his father was, he had a breaking point. He had sixteen years to figure it out. “Well, perhaps you’re right,” he seemed to say to himself. “So I can tell her yes?” 266
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Sam sighed. “I suppose, but this better not be a scam. You better be absolutely sure, because if you’re not you’ll not only ruin your mother’s birthday, but we’ll also be out fivehundred dollars, and unlike people like Michael Lonewell fivehundred dollars actually means a lot to me.” Chris nodded. He was sure it wasn’t a scam. Unless of course, Danielle got scammed and didn’t know it. He took that thought from his mind, replacing it with the image of his mother not knowing what to do with herself when they showed her the tickets. His mother did so much for him, and now it was his turn to give back to her. She would love him after this. [][][][][][][][][][][][][][] “What kind of father rents out an entire amusement park to apologize for blowing us off... again?” Pete asked Zac as they got their lunches. “Not only does it imply money means everything to him, but it also implies he’s a jerk who thinks he can buy our love. I guess those both fall into the same category.” Zac wasn’t really listening, rather trying to find Molly. “Zac!” Pete snapped. Zac finally looked over. “Is Molly more important than me now?” “Sorry,” Zac said. “What about an amusement park?” “My father rented out an entire amusement park for us to apologize for blowing us off again. I’m really annoyed, and I could use some friend support on this.” Zac stared at him in shock. “Your father rented out an amusement park? Wow. I would love it if my father did that, but he would never do something like that, sadly. He would probably go off about how big of a waste of money that would 267
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be and it wouldn’t be fair to the other people who wanted to go that day.” “I don’t care,” Pete said bitterly. “I would rather have him home than go to some amusement park with just my mother and sister.” “Hey, cheer up,” Zac said with a smile. “How many teenagers can say they got to go to an empty amusement park? I know I couldn’t, and there are a lot of things I could say that a normal teenager couldn’t.” “I know,” Pete sighed. “If you actually come and sit by me today I have a little proposition for you.” Zac smiled. This sounded good, but was it worth blowing off Molly? He thought about it, and decided it wouldn’t be so bad if he just came to sit by Pete for a little while. They both sat down on an empty table. “Well, since the park will be empty, naturally it might do us some good to invite some people,” he told Zac. “My dad planned it as a little thing with his state staff, and then told us he planned it for us. We all know it’s a lie, but you can’t beat having a practically empty amusement park. I know he has a lot of staff running the city, but he only rented it out for the more important members that actually work with him. They and all their family will be coming. My mother said she was going to invite your family whether my father liked it or not, because she was kind of irritated as well, and she wanted someone to talk to that wasn’t one of his workers.” “No way,” Zac said, practically jumping for joy. “Your mother is inviting our family to a practically empty amusement park? That’s so awesome. I just have to find a way to ditch my father and siblings.” Pete laughed. “Sure, Zac.” 268
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Zac turned around and saw Molly. She gave him a smile, as usual. “Zac, why are you sitting over here?” she asked. “Sorry, Molly,” Zac said as he got up. Pete gave him an annoyed look, but of course he didn’t notice. “I just thought I would come and sit over by Pete for a little bit.” “Well, we’ve been waiting for you,” she said with a smile. Pete shook his head. Was Zac honestly acting this empty headed over a girl? It was ridiculous. When Zac got home that night Michael was pacing around the living room. Zac gave him a weird look. Michael took the look as wanting to know what was wrong rather than just acting like he was weird. “Everyone seems to think famous people have it easy. They just go through life using someone else’s money and thinking they’re better than everyone else. Well, I have news for them. I would like to see them go up in front of millions of people without messing up and acting like they’re not nervous. I want to see them have their life shown to the world like it’s everyone’s business. It’s not all that easy, and people need to give us credit.” Zac slowly walked away, but Michael didn’t seem to notice. “You’re washed-up,” Michael mumbled. “If I’m washed-up than why am I doing a concert seating millions of people next month? I’m still just as popular as ever.” Carrie came in and shook her head. “Michael, if you’re nervous about this concert you should at least talk to an actual person about it.” Michael looked around, realizing Zac was gone and felt rather embarrassed. “I’m not talking to myself,” he 269
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mumbled. “I’m not nervous. I mean I’m Michael Lonewell. I’ve done this hundreds of times before.” Carrie shook her head. “I can tell you’re nervous. And you have every right to be, but just try to pretend that huge audience is only some recording studio and it’s just you and your producers.” “I said I’m not nervous,” he repeated, heading into the hallway. As he walked he had another flashback of his childhood. He tried to repress it, but he knew it was going to come anyway. “Dreams are important for a child,” his father said. They were all sitting around the living room. It was very rarely Michael was actually able to come out, and he was taking full advantage of this. His mother seemed kind of out of it today and was just sitting on the couch like him being out meant nothing to her. Usually his father didn’t promote him being out either, but neither one of them had said anything and that made Michael very happy. “What you want to become now may seem out of reach, but in something else.” “I want to be a mommy,” Maybell said sweetly. “I think I would be really good at it and I think it would be so much better than anything else.” Derek smiled at her. “Well, I think that’s a great dream. That’s one you probably don’t want to lose sight of even as you get older and people start telling you, you could do so much more.” She nodded enthusiastically. “I want to be an astronaut,” George said happily. “Just imagine being able to walk on the moon, and maybe even mars.” 270
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“That’s great, George,” Derek said with a smile. “I think you would make a great astronaut.” “Well, I want to be a famous singer,” Dallin said with somewhat of a smirk. “Just imagine me up on stage, everyone knowing my name. Dallin Lonewell. It has a nice ring to it, right?” Michael closed his eyes and tried to imagine himself up on stage. He had a secret. He knew if his mother found out she would just laugh at him, and everyone else would just think he was copying Dallin. He wasn’t copying him. He had a dream alright, but he felt it would always get overlooked because Dallin had practically the same dream. He could hear them calling his name. Michael Lonewell. Michael Lonewell. Michael Lonewell. “Michael,” he heard a voice say as he came back to reality. “What do you dream about?” Derek asked him. He stared at him. Was he honestly asking him? He didn’t think he would. He certainly didn’t want to tell him the truth. In the end he just went with the first thing that came into his mind. “I want to be a firefighter,” he said really low. “I think you would be a great firefighter,” Maybell said happily. “Just imagine being able to save lives.” Michael nodded. He hadn’t told anyone but George about his dream. George swore he wouldn’t tell anyone, and even secretly told him he had much more of a chance to become famous than Dallin did, because Dallin was a jerk and had no talent. Michael had to laugh at that, because it was so true. He had a band but all they really did was make noise. Their mother supported him fully in it, but he wasn’t sure why because him becoming famous was a long shot. Michael had reason to believe he could sing, but other than that worried he 271
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didn’t have what it took either. But he wouldn’t give up on his dream. He knew it was meant to happen. “Well, not everyone has what it takes to become famous,” Dallin said, suddenly turning the subject back to him. “Just imagine if someone like Michael tried to become famous. Imagine him up on stage trying to sing in front of all those people. He would just get laughed at. Well, that is if he could even sing. He might be too nervous and throw up or something.” Thankfully, he was the only one that was laughing. “Have you ever heard Michael sing?” Maybell asked. “He’s a great singer.” Dallin gave her an evil look. “Don’t forget who the famous person will be. He can become a firefighter, or most likely just work at dad’s factory, but he’ll never compare to me.” “Don’t get cocky, Dallin,” Derek said with a look. “Anyone can do what they set their mind to, and that includes Michael.” Dallin just shook his head as if Michael was just a lost cause and he didn’t understand how his father couldn’t see that. Michael looked down. Talent or not, Dallin had one thing he didn’t have: his parents. Support meant everything to him, and he far from had it. “Cheer up, Michael,” Maybell told him when she saw his face. “Dad’s right; you can do anything you set your mind to.” He gave her a smile. One day, he would prove Dallin and his mother wrong. One day, he would become something greater than they ever imagined. He would never doom himself to work at his father’s factory all his life. He needed to spread his wings and prove everyone who ever thought he would own 272
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up to anything wrong. He would prove them all wrong someday. Michael came back to reality and shook his head. He had proved them wrong, but what had it accomplished? Now Dallin was so jealous of him he didn’t even want to talk, and he had only meant his daughter a few times. His mother had been pretending he didn’t exist since the day he left. Becoming famous accomplished nothing, and even George was secretly jealous of him. He sighed as he headed into his room. He would never get support from his mother. He had learned to accept that. “Can I sign your cast?” Emily asked the next morning as she came up to Zac, who was getting ready for school. “No,” he said rudely. “I have to go and I really don’t want a bunch of signatures all over it anyway.” “Zac wouldn’t want to show something like that off,” Michael said with a smirk as he walked in. Zac gave him a look. Of course he wouldn’t want to show off a broken arm, but his father still had no proof he went somewhere, so what reason did he have to be worried? “Two weeks until your concert,” Emily said excitingly. “Are you excited?” “Well, of course I am,” he told her with a smile. “There’s nothing like the rush of being up on stage.” “How come no one ever believes me when I tell them my dad’s famous?” she asked sadly. Michael gave her a sad look. Emily loved to go around telling people her father was famous, but all her friends and peers just laughed at her while her teachers told her she must have been confused. After all, she was only his stepdaughter so she didn’t have his same last name, and they didn’t look 273
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anything alike. He didn’t really mention her much in interviews and such. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her just as much as he loved his biological children; he just tended to pick favorites sometimes, and with six kids it was hard to give them all their time in the spotlight. He knew she loved the idea that her father was famous, and he often felt bad because on the rare occasion her father did want to take her she usually put up a fight and told everyone he wasn’t really her father. “Emily, it doesn’t matter what everyone else says or thinks; what matters is what you know is true.” She didn’t seem satisfied with that answer. He had raised her since she was just a little girl. She was the reason he and Carrie met. She was also his oldest daughter, and his only daughter for a bit until Miranda came into the picture. Of course she held a special place in his heart, even if it wasn’t in the same way Lorie held a place in his heart. Kyle came into the living room and gave them both a weird look. “Hello, Kyle,” Michael said with a smile. Kyle didn’t return it as he came into the kitchen. He was thinking about grabbing a snack of some sort when he heard the phone ring. Michael didn’t care who answered the phone so as long as they made sure it wasn’t someone who shouldn’t have their number. If that happened, he told them to pretend like this wasn’t really where Michael Lonewell lived. Most of the time it worked, but they had to change their number often enough anyway. “Hello,” he answered. Amy breathed a sigh of relief to hear it was only Kyle. She felt like she was just annoying them, but Mark had convinced her to call back so she could talk to Zac. She did, but she was super nervous and felt like they were sick of hearing from her. 274
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“Hello, Kyle,” she said with a smile. “I know it’s been a whole week since we’ve talked,” she joked, “but I was actually wondering if Zac was home.” “You can call whenever you want, mom,” he said happily. “I’ll even give you my cell phone if you want.” She smiled. She missed Kyle so much and she desperately wanted to see him in person. Why did things have to be this way? Either way, she was thankful he wasn’t bitter like Zac and Miranda were, but especially Zac. “I would love your cell phone number, Kyle. We don't have an unlimited plan, so I can’t go crazy, but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk more often.” After giving her his number he went upstairs to go find Zac. But Zac was still in the living room, looking like he was going to watch TV, but then decided against it so now he was just sitting on the couch. “Someone’s on the phone for you, Zac,” Kyle said. Zac sprang up, afraid for what this was. He knew his mother had called recently, and he couldn’t think of anyone who would want to talk to him that didn’t have his cell phone number. “Tell her I’m not here,” he said as he suddenly booked it upstairs. “Zac, she can hear you!” Kyle called back, but Zac just kept running. Kyle sighed. “Zac is currently acting like a five-year-old, so I don’t think he’s going to talk to you,” Kyle told her. Amy sighed as she felt tears escape her eyes. “Tell Zac that whenever he wants to talk, I’m here. Also tell him that I’m sure he would love to hear what I had to say even if he does never truly forgive me.” Kyle nodded. “Goodbye, mom,” he said as he hung up. 275
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He then headed up into Zac’s room. Zac thought his life was so hard; well, he wasn’t the only one who had to suffer. He knocked on his door. “Go away,” Zac said. “Zac, open up. I have something I want to say.” “Save it,” Zac mumbled. “I don’t care what you have to say.” Zac was so mad he hadn’t even bothered to lock the door. He opened it with ease and saw Zac on his bed, looking like he was trying to hold back tears. “That didn’t give you permission to come in,” he said in outrage, trying to wipe the tears away out of embarrassment, but it didn’t matter because Kyle had already seen them. “Zac, you think your life is so hard, but it’s not. I know you’re mad that mom hasn’t seen you in so long, but dad wasn’t perfect either.” “There’s a difference between what dad did to me and what mom did to me,” he said as he came closer to Kyle. “You don’t know what it’s like to have someone just never be there. Maybe you have good memories with mom, but I don’t. Not only has she not been around since I was five, but she also pawned me off on dad after the whole incident with Keith. I shouldn’t have to talk to her. She blew her chance already.” Kyle shook his head. “That’s not what I meant, Zac. Maybe you spent your childhood with dad and have great memories of him while you’re bitter toward mom, but for me it was complete opposite. Mom was always there for me. In my eyes Keith was my father, and I hardly ever saw dad. To me he was just a man that was trying to be nice to me, but in reality he meant nothing to me, and I certainly didn’t consider him my, 'dad.' 276
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After Keith and mom divorced, Keith left and pretty much pretended like he didn’t care about me anymore, and I was forced to live with dad. I was forced to live with the person who I thought didn’t care about me and was never there. All you have to do is talk on the phone with her. Is that really that much to ask?” Zac stared at him. He had no idea. Of course he knew Kyle really wasn’t around when he was a kid. They saw each other on occasion, and his dad used to tell him he was his brother. They never really liked each other. Zac was always jealous because he felt like his father treated him better on the rare occasion they did see each other, and Zac was so young at the time he didn’t understand when they said he was his “brother” they meant that literally. But things had changed since then. “Was dad really never there for you? I mean I remember seeing you as a kid.” “Yeah, like once in a blue moon. Dad was always busy. He came to see me on occasion because he tried to pretend like he cared, but it was hard for me to call someone my father who I hardly ever saw. Now all that has changed. I mean I’m still bitter, but I’m living with him and know he cares about me. We’ve never really talked about it, but he knew I was bitter and didn’t want to go with him at first. I just learned to live with him after I was sent here. I don’t see why you’re complaining about a simple phone call.” “Well, at least dad saw you. I haven’t seen mom in years.” “Do what you want, Zac, but I’m just telling you not to think you’re the only one who has reason to not like someone.” With that he walked out. Zac shook his head. His father was always there for him. He didn’t know what 277
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happened with Kyle, but he never thought much about it. It didn’t even matter. His dad was there for him and his mother wasn’t. He felt bad Kyle had to deal with someone he felt abandoned him, but he didn’t have to. He was sixteen. Just over a year and he would be an adult. He refused to let her come back into his life now. [][][][][][][][][][][][][][] Chris had to break it to Danielle that his father would be there when they did the exchange. “He went off about all the scams out there and how bad it would be if we ended up out of five-hundred dollars,” he explained. “You have to understand he’s very paranoid, and he’s a police officer so he seems to think the whole world is out to get him.” Danielle laughed. “It’s fine, Chris. I don’t mind if your father’s there when we exchange. I mean I have nothing to hide, and I swear to you I won these off the radio, so I’m fairly sure they’re real. If it makes your father feel better by being here, I won’t complain.” “My father’s just kind of embarrassing, alright,” he sighed. “Hopefully this is quick and painless.” “I’ll meet you here after school then?” she asked. They were standing by the front of the school. “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll see you during lunch then.” They both parted ways. Chris felt nervous. Was he really about to go to a Michael Lonewell concert? Of course the seats weren’t amazing, and it wasn’t like he was a huge fan of him anyway, but this thing was sold out and he was such a popular singer. He couldn’t help but feel a little excited about this. Then again, he couldn’t be sure his mother would take him over his father, but he had a pretty good hunch since his 278
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father hated Michael Lonewell, and putting him in the same area as him would be asking for a headache by time he got home, not to mention they would probably both have a bad time. Janessa seemed to sense something was on Chris’s mind during lunch. “What’s up with you, Chris?” she asked. “You look like you’re deep in thought about something.” “Oh, it’s nothing really,” he told her. “I just can’t believe I’m actually getting my mother Michael Lonewell tickets for her birthday. I just can’t wait to see her reaction.” Janessa did a double take. “Well, that’s great, Chris, but where did you manage to find decent tickets this late?” Danielle looked nervous, but Chris wasn’t looking at her so he didn’t notice that she was trying to tell him not to say anything. “Danielle’s selling me hers.” He felt bad when he looked over at her and she looked completely embarrassed. He probably shouldn’t have said that. Janessa stared at her in shock. “Danielle, why are you selling the tickets you’ve been dying for for years? You’ve liked Michael Lonewell forever and now you finally have the chance to see him in person and you give the tickets away?” “It’s complicated, Janessa,” she told her. “I need the money more than I do the tickets.” “Oh, so this is about money,” she said with a nod. “There has to be something you can do. Can’t your landlord wait another month? Can’t you cut off your phone bill or something? I know your father isn’t perfect with being responsible like he should, but how far behind could you possibly be?” Danielle looked even more embarrassed now. “Janessa, I don’t want to talk about this. Just be assured I'm doing this completely on my own free will. There are some 279
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things in life that are more important than just seeing some singer,” she sighed. Janessa nodded. She felt so bad. She knew Danielle wanted to see him so bad, so whatever this was it had to be really important. She wouldn’t give up those tickets for just anything. After school Chris sluggishly made his way to the front of the school. He met his dad over in the parking lot. Thankfully he hadn’t come in uniform, but he had wanted to and Chris begged him not to. “Hello, Chris,” Sam said with a smile. Chris returned with a nod, which seemed to get him a look from his father. “I hope you know I’m doing this to protect both of our money, Chris,” he told him. “You need to stop caring so much about what others think. Do you really want to be out five-hundred dollars?” “No,” Chris mumbled, still upset. Even if this was a scam, he knew Danielle would be the kind of person that would give them their money back. He didn’t see what the big deal was. His father was just being controlling and overprotective. They met up with Danielle and she gave them both a smile. “Hello, Mr. Johnson,” she said as she shook his hand. “I’m Danielle Flower. Chris is a good friend of mine.” He nodded. “Where exactly did you get these tickets?” he asked. Chris sighed. And here came the interrogating. He hoped she didn’t get intimidated easily, because his father was a very intimidating guy. “I won them off the radio,” she replied. “You had to be a certain caller and I didn’t think I would win but I did. I guess I have more luck than I thought. I like the singer, but I knew I 280
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could get a decent amount of money off these and I really need the money.” He nodded, seeming to study her to make sure she was telling the truth. “Well, that is lucky, I suppose. But why did you want to sell them to Chris? Couldn’t you have just sold them online?” “Well, Chris told me it was his mother’s birthday and she was a huge fan of him, and I would rather sell them to a friend than some stranger.” He nodded again. Danielle started to get a bit nervous. Did he think she was lying? “Well, alright,” he said. “Considering you’re telling the truth, we’ll buy them from you, but if it turns out you’re lying or you didn’t realize they weren’t real, I’m a police officer, and trust me, you wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of me.” “Dad,” Chris said with a look. “No, it’s fine,” Danielle assured him. “I would be happy to give you your money back if they turn out to be fakes, but I’m about ninety-nine percent sure they’re not, so neither one of us have anything to worry about.” Sam nodded and then pulled out his checkbook. Danielle was hoping for cash, but then again, five-hundred dollars was a lot of money to pay in cash. She trusted Chris, and if his father was really a police officer she had no reason to worry it wouldn’t go through. He handed her the check and she handed him the tickets. He studied them as she studied the check. It had pictures of kittens on it, which made her smile. “My mother,” Chis explained when he saw her reaction. “You tell her just to get the free checks and she insists kittens were cute enough to pay more, not to mention look strange when you’re a police officer,” Sam mumbled. 281
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She smiled. “Thank you, Mr. Johnson. I hope you and your wife enjoy the tickets and that she has a great birthday.” He nodded with a, “Thanks.” He left and Chris waved goodbye as he followed him. Danielle continued to stare at the check. This was about what she got paid in one paycheck, but that usually went to bills and other needed things. This would be going to something not even involving her. But she had to do it. She had to keep Mark and Amy here. And if it turned out they did figure something out by now and they didn’t need her help... well, she could think of tons of things to do with five-hundred dollars. At least she knew her tickets didn’t go to waste. Chris’s mom surely deserved to see him in person and at least someone was getting to see their favorite singer. She nervously came into Mark and Amy’s apartment. Jason, Josh, and John were all sitting at the kitchen table, looking completely miserable. “Hey, guys,” Danielle said with a smile. They didn’t return it. “What’s wrong?” “We got our notice in the mail,” John replied. “We're leaving... again.” Danielle just stared at them. So Mark hadn’t thought of anything. “Wow,” she said, not wanting to tell them she had some money and could help them. She would save that for Mark and Amy. “I’m sorry to hear that. Your father really didn’t think of anything? Does he have plans?” “My father doesn’t want to admit to Amy he’s pathetic and didn’t think of anything, so therefore we’re screwed,” Jason mumbled. “What he means is,” John said as he gave him a look, “he’s embarrassed to tell Amy he didn’t think of anything and now we’re being evicted. He promised her he would think of 282
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something before that date came, but he didn’t. He’s been working all these insane hours but still came up short.” Danielle nodded. Well, perhaps this would be easier than she thought. She knew Mark would have pride and refuse to take money from his next door neighbor, let alone a teenager that got the money by selling something she really wanted, but if he was out of options and didn't want to admit to his wife they were screwed, maybe he would take the money a bit easier. “Any idea when your father’s going to be home?” she asked. “Beats me,” Jason replied. “He’s been working a lot and he and Amy have been fighting like crazy. Sometimes I think he doesn’t come home even after work.” “Well, being on the edge of losing a place to live is hard,” she told them. “I’m sure you’re all stressed and arguing is just natural.” Jason shook his head. Danielle sighed. She didn’t even say goodbye as she walked out. When Mark got home that night he felt super nervous. He had tried everything. He was working overtime, but he worked at a factory and getting overtime didn’t come easy; he had begged his landlord to give him just a little more time, but his manager wasn’t very nice about it, considering he had been late so many times since he first moved there so many years ago; and he had looked into other options but with his credit and the fact these apartments were some of the cheapest he could find, he wasn’t having much luck. How would he tell Amy he had nothing? How would he tell her they would either be living on the street or look pathetic by begging his parents to take them in for a little bit. 283
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He didn’t want to do that. If he did that his parents would never let it go. Given, they still weren’t letting go all those times earlier in his life, but this would be twice as pathetic and he didn’t want to have to do that. He and Amy had been fighting like crazy this past little bit, and it was killing both of them. They were only a year into their marriage and they were already fighting like this. But he tried to tell himself Amy was just scared. He was as well, but not nearly as scared as Amy was. “Mark, I can’t live on the street again,” she had told him. “You don’t understand what it was like. I most definitely can’t make my daughter live on the street again, and the boys.” She started to cry but pushed away when Mark tried to make her feel better. “You won’t live on the street,” he assured her. “I promise you that I’ll think of something. I know things look bad right now, but I’ve been in this situation before, and it always works out. We’re not going to be homeless. I promise.” It had made her feel a little better, or at least got her to stop bawling, but Mark was afraid his words were a lie. He didn’t want to break his promise, but what choice did he have at this point? He had tried lots of alternatives, even mentioning to Amy to ask her ex-husband for help of some sort. “Mark, it’s been years and I haven’t paid him a dime in child support. Plus he’s my ex-husband. The last thing I want to do is ask him for money.” Mark likewise had the same issue with his parents when she brought up asking for their help. “My father thinks I’m a low-life as it is,” he told her. “My days of asking him for money are over.” Amy thought his reason was more prideful than hers, but he wouldn’t budge. Now he suddenly wished he had asked 284
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them, because unless he got a miracle, they would be living on the street. He wondered if Amy would stay with him or if this would end up tearing them apart. He would never be able to fall in love again if Amy left him, and he was fairly sure she could say the same thing. He came to his apartment and was greeted by Danielle. She was standing outside his door. He attempted to smile, but then proceeded to give her a weird look. “Hello, Danielle,” he said. “What are you doing out here? Did the boys lock you out or something?” She shook her head. “No. I have something I need to talk to you about.” Mark gave her a look, wondering what this was about. “I understand things are hard for you right now, and I wanted to help.” Mark stared at her for a minute, trying to comprehend what she was talking about. It took him a minute, but then he got it. “Thanks, Danielle, but we’re fine. I don’t know what the boys have told you, but I have everything completely under control.” “So you’re fine and won’t be evicted?” she asked, knowing she wouldn’t believe him if he said he was. He sighed. “Danielle, you’ve been a great neighbor and good friend to us, but don’t worry about us. Whatever happens we’ll figure it out.” “I insist,” she said, knowing perfectly well that was his way of saying they were screwed but he had too much pride to take money from a sixteen-year-old. “I know it’s pretty pathetic to take money from a sixteen-year-old, but if they’re offering and you have no other choice, then why not?” 285
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He shook his head. “Danielle, even if I was desperate, I’m not taking your money. You should use it for your own bills. I’m sure you don’t have a ton of spare money to be giving to me. Really, we’ll be fine.” She sighed and then pulled out the money from her recently cashed check. He stared at her in shock. “Listen, I already have the money. I’ve been planning this for a while now. I know you probably don’t want to take it, but please. You can pay me back if that’s what you want, but I can’t bear to see you guys go. You’re the closest thing to a family I have.” Mark stared at her for a while longer, trying to grasp all this. She honestly wanted to use money that he knew she probably needed to help them? Of course Danielle was practically a member of the family, but he didn’t realize they meant that much to her. “Danielle, where did you get the money? I mean I know you have a job, but shouldn’t that be going to your guy’s bills?” Mark knew her father was a low-life that didn’t pay his bills most of the time, leaving Danielle to take the slack. Since these were really cheap apartments and there was only the two of them she got by, but she worked hard and most of the time she didn’t have her father’s money to help her because he blew it on other things. “You remember those Michael Lonewell tickets I got? I sold them and got five-hundred for the two of them. So think of it this way: I already sold the tickets. The least you can do is accept the money so I don’t feel like I just wasted my time.” He kept staring. “You sold your Michael Lonewell tickets? Danielle, you didn’t have to. They were yours and you shouldn’t have to sell something you really wanted for us.” 286
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“Please just take the money. You guys mean more to me than some stupid concert.” He leaned against the door frame, feeling completely pathetic right now. Was this really what it came down to? He wasn’t going to accept money from a teenager so he could pay his rent so his family wouldn’t be homeless? He was pretty sure he was about to hit rock bottom, but how could he say no? He couldn’t let his family become homeless. He didn’t have his mother and father to come crying to this time, Amy was still trying to get back into her children’s lives, and he was sure she would end up leaving him if they didn’t have a place to stay. He couldn’t blame her. He couldn’t lose Amy, and he couldn’t make his family homeless. He felt like this was staring at him in the face, and rock bottom or not, he had to accept it. He sighed. “Alright, I’ll accept it, but I’m going to pay you back. This most definitely won’t be free money. Whatever you do please don’t mention this to your friends, the boys, and especially not Amy.” “I promise,” she said with a completely serious face. “I have no problem with you paying me back. I assumed that was what you would want to do.” He nodded and then sighed as she handed him the money. At least he knew Danielle would never hold it over his head. The worst that could come from this was their relationship would be shot if he never paid her back. But he would definitely pay her back. With all this overtime he’d been working he should be able to pay her back really soon. He would not leave her to think she would just have to say it was free money. “Thank you so much. Oh, and Danielle,” he said as he gave her a smile, “I think this concert won’t be much 287
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compared to what’s in store. I think someday you’ll definitely get the chance to meet him, and I’m talking about in person.” She just gave him a weird look. She had no idea what he was talking about. “Well, thanks for the hope,” she said as she returned the smile. It was more than just hope, but Mark wasn’t about to tell her that. Mark came in to a very stressed looking wife. It was clear she had been crying again, and she was just sitting at the table and staring at her feet. “Amy, everything’s going to be fine,” he said with a smile as he sat down next to her. She shook her head. “You keep saying that, but I don’t believe it. Does it mean anything to you that your family is going to be out on the street? What do you plan to do about this, Mark? We’re supposed to be packing right now, but we have no place to go! I’m not blaming you for what happened, because I know you try your best, but I am blaming you for pretending like this isn’t as big of a deal as it actually is.” “I know it’s a big deal,” he told her as he grabbed her hand. “You’ll be happy to know we’re not being evicted. I have the money and I’m going to give it to the landlord tomorrow.” She stared at him in shock. “Mark, how did you get the money? Yesterday you were telling me you were going to keep trying but you didn’t have much hope at this point, and now you suddenly have the money?” Mark looked nervous, but he knew he couldn’t let her see that he was lying. “I went up to my boss and talked to him. He agreed I had been with the company for many years and was a hard worker, so he gave me a bit of a bonus. It was enough to add to the money I’ve already saved, and now we can pay without being evicted.” 288
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She continued to stare at him, this time with a look of disbelief. “Mark, you always complained about your boss. Now you’re suddenly buddies?” “We’re not buddies. He’s just a nice guy if you get passed the yelling and treating his employees like crap,” he mumbled. That probably didn’t really help with his lie, but he really hated his boss. “Mark, is there something you’re not telling me?” “Amy, we have the money and we’re going to be staying. Everything’s fine.” “Now you’re making me wonder if you got the money from the black market or something.” He sighed. “I promise you I got this money legally. Now let’s just forget about this and calm down. It’s all uphill from here.” She smiled for the first time in a while and then let Mark bring her into his arms. She hadn’t let him touch her a while because of all the tension, but she was so relieved to know he kept up with his promise and they wouldn’t be living on the street. Mark was also relieved. He was glad that Amy had bought that, and now his family wouldn’t be on the street. He wasn’t sure if he could ever thank Danielle enough. [][][][][][][][][][][][] As Michael prepared for the concert, he grew super nervous. Singing in front of crowds always made him a little nervous. He got better at it as the years went by and he eventually became famous, but it had been such a long time since he did a concert in a place as big as Sacramento. 289
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He had to stop himself from thinking of all those millions of people who would be looking at him. Most of them would probably give anything to meet him, and he had to meet their expectations in just a two hour time slot. Of course he wasn’t really the main person in charge of setting up the concert, but it was his main job to make sure his part, the main part, went perfect. That was kind of nerve wracking. Even when he was a child he would get super nervous singing in front of people. That was something he learned to get over as the years went by, but he was still far from perfect. He sat by the mirror staring at himself. Even though the concert was still over a week away, he needed to get down to California early so they could set up and prepare. “This concert needs to go out with a bang,” his manager had told him. “It’s been so long since you’ve done one, and you’ve been too focused on other things. You’re practically almost washed up! This is your chance to prove to the world you’re not dead and they still have reason to be a fan of you.” Michael just rolled his eyes. He never did like his manager. He signed that contract so many years ago in hopes that this was his big break. Plus he was really desperate and didn’t really read the words in the fine print, let alone get to know his supposed manager. Since then he's definitely hit the big time, and for the most part he’s been able to write his own songs with a few co-writers, but his manager has been unbearable. He’s always telling him what to do and gets mad that he refuses to tour because of his family. Thankfully he’s so popular his manager only has limited say, but he’s still annoying enough and he has limited say, but he’s still annoying enough and he has to listen to some things he says for fear of getting sued. 290
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Now he was about to deal with him for an entire week, maybe even longer. It sounded unbearable. But he knew he would manage. Carrie came in and gave him a smile. “Are you ready, Michael?” she asked. “Just imagine all those fans looking up at you, excited to see their favorite singer.” “I don’t necessarily have to be their favorite,” he said with a smile. “Yes, I’m ready. My jet gets here in a couple hours. Thank you so much for being so nice about me being gone for so long. If the boys act up let me know. I can put them in their place even through the phone.” She smiled. “Michael, I should feel very lucky I have a husband that’s not only almost always home but also doesn’t tour that much, all while bringing in millions of dollars. I have no room to complain about watching the kids alone for a week while you’re doing a concert. I’m super excited to see you perform. It’s been so long. You need to remind them why they love you.” Michael gave her a kiss as he brought her close. “Well, I guess I’m excited, but I’m sure going to miss you and the kids. I wish you could come with me.” “I wish we could come with too, but with the kid’s school and all, it would just be so much better if we stayed here. But we’ll still be rooting for you.” He smiled down at her. He had no idea how he was lucky enough to get a wife as amazing as Carrie. He watched so many celebrities break their families apart, have cheating spouses, or lose their children and money to an ex-wife. He had all the glam of Hollywood without the strings attached. He didn’t know how he got so lucky, but he felt like the happiest guy around. That was certainly an improvement from his childhood. 291
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“Goodbye, daddy,” Lorie said as she hugged Michael goodbye. “Goodbye, honey,” he said as he gave her a kiss. “I’ll be back in no time at all.” He gave Emily and Miranda a hug, but figured Zac and Kyle would try to push away if he even attempted to give them one. “I’ll see you all in a week, maybe two,” he added. “Try not to forget about us while you’re enjoying the Hollywood life,” Zac told him. Michael smiled. “Love you too, Zac.” Zac just shook his head. That wasn’t what he meant. Michael was off, giving Carrie one last kiss before he left. “This is going to be a great week, you guys,” Carrie assured them. “Even without your father we’ll have fun.” Zac stared at his car as he drove away. He desperately wished he could go with him. Going to see him perform live at a concert sounded so much better than school, plus he would be riding a private jet, be driving around in a limo, and would get the nicest food and hotel service around. How would it be? [][][][][][][][][][]][][][] “Happy birthday,” Sam told Whitney with a smile as he handed her an envelope. She stared at it, a little surprised. Had he just gone simple and got her a card and maybe a gift card or money this year? Sam could tell she looked disappointed. “Open it before you jump to conclusions,” he told her. She smiled and then slowly opened it, hoping it wasn’t what it looked like. She pulled out a pair of concert tickets, and didn’t believe her eyes for a second. 292
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“Are these tickets to Michael Lonewell’s concert next week?” she asked in shock. “Yep,” Chris replied with a smile. She didn’t know what to say. “How... how...” she stuttered, unable to finish. “I have connections and dad helped out.” They were both expecting what came next. She suddenly started to cry tears of joy and then brought them both into their arms. “You guys are so awesome. I can’t believe this. They must have cost you a fortune.” “Thanks to Chris they didn’t cost too much,” Sam told her. She smiled and continued to hug them, not believing this was really happening. She was going to see Michael Lonewell in person next week! “You guys, this has to be one of the best presents anyone has ever given me.” She finally pulled away so Chris and Sam could breathe. “You don’t mind if I take Chris, right, Sam?” she asked. “I mean being you don’t like Michael Lonewell and all.” “By all means, take him. You couldn’t pay me enough to go to one of his concerts. Just make note I helped. This wasn’t all Chris’s doing.” Whitney smiled and then brought him in for a kiss. She knew he must have really loved her if he was willing to do this. With his jealousy problem, she would imagine buying tickets to a Michael Lonewell concert with no intention of actually going with her, there was no way he would agree, even if Chris had given him the opportunity. But he did it anyway and now she was about to have the best birthday of her life, even if she did never end up meeting him in person, and she was just a number out of thousands of people. “I love you both so much,” she told them. 293
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“We love you too,” Sam said with a smile as he gave her a kiss back. Amy was in the kitchen, staring at the phone like she was expecting a phone call. Mark came in and gave her a weird look. “Are you alright, Amy?” he asked. “You should cheer up. I mean what reason do you have to be upset? We’re not losing the apartment and you get to talk to your children again.” “I want to do more than just talk,” she said sadly. “I want to hold them in my arms, and I want them to meet you and the boys.” “Well, what’s stopping you then? Can’t you talk to Michael about it?” She shook her head. “He wouldn’t agree even if I did ask, and I’m tired of talking through the phone. I wish they didn’t live so far away.” “Well, if you want to talk to Michael, this week would be a good week to do it.” She gave him a confused look. “He’s coming out for a concert next week.” She blinked. Was he? “Well, even if he was, I’m sure he’s going to be too busy to talk to me.” “That doesn’t mean you can’t try. Besides, won’t it make you feel special to know you even talked to a celebrity right before or after they did a concert?” She laughed. “You’re getting way too worked up about this, Mark. Michael’s a normal guy. Trust me, I know.” “Yeah, but he’s famous. I just think that’s kind of cool.” “I’ll think about it, alright. I just know that talking to them hasn’t been enough. I want my children back, not just to hear their voice.” 294
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Mark gave her a hug to try to make her feel better. Maybe she didn’t have money and a practically flawless life like Michael had, but she had everything she needed right here. Now she just had to get the rest of her family back and she would feel like her life was flawless, even if it was far from it.
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Chapter Twelve
International superstar
A
s Michael sat in his room he could hear the fans
outside. He had never been more nervous. They had rehearsed this all week. He knew what songs he would sing, he knew what he had to do, and he knew what to expect from the producers and backstage people. So why was he so nervous? Why was a famous singer like him so nervous? Why was he freaking out while there were millions of people out there waiting for him? There was a knock at his door. “Ten minutes, Michael,� the person told him. 296
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Michael sighed. Ten minutes. Could he really get his act together in ten minutes? He was tempted to call Carrie, but he didn’t need that right now. He only had ten minutes to pull himself together, and he knew calling Carrie would only worsen the problem. He needed to think like a big shot and not like a simple family man. But it had been so long since he had done a concert. He couldn’t afford even one mistake. He stared at himself in the mirror. He was just in his jeans. Since he was just a country artist no one was really pushing for him to change clothes during the concert, and that he was very thankful for because changing clothes in between numbers was a pain. He called Carrie the day before and vented his feelings to her. She just told him to imagine the millions of people a small group. With all the lights and screaming, that wouldn’t be easy, but it was probably his best shot at this point. He had spent the last hour doing warm-up exercises, so his voice was ready. But his voice wasn’t the problem right now. How could someone that was so popular be freaking out so much? Then again, it wasn’t like he did concerts often. He sat there staring at himself for a bit longer, going through the concert in his mind. All these people came and spent hundreds of dollars to see him. It was kind of crazy to think about. For some reason all these people were fans of him and wanted to spend that much to see him. He couldn’t let them down. Someone came into his dressing room, and he didn’t have to look to know that it was Bill. He was the only one who wouldn’t bother to knock first. “Hello, Bill,” Michael said as he looked over at him. Despite the fact that Bill had age marks and greying hair, he wasn’t much older than Michael. When he had signed that 297
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contract so many years ago he knew Bill was almost the same age as him, and he had claimed he had a lot of other experience working with other rising stars and would surely be able to get him to the top. What Michael didn’t realize was when he said get him to the top, he meant it. He was always giving him these songs that would sell well that Michael never cared for. “Are you ready, Michael?” Bill asked, sounding kind of annoyed. “The concert’s about ready to start and these people want their money’s worth.” “I’m aware,” Michael mumbled. “Yes, I’m ready.” “Then get a move on.” Michael sighed and then got up. It was now or never. They both walked down the long tunnel. Michael grew more nervous which each step. This wasn’t the first time he had done this, but it was still nerve wracking each time. “Don’t forget what we rehearsed,” Bill reminded him. “We can’t afford any mess-ups.” “I can handle this without your help,” Michael mumbled. “Remember who got you to the top, Michael,” Bill said in annoyance. “Without me you would have just been a one hit wonder.” Michael blew him off. They heard the crowd cheering, and Michael smiled as he felt the rush. He could do this. Bill was wrong. He knew he would be more than just a one hit wonder if it weren’t for him. He knew nothing. Michael stood on the edge of the stage, hid behind a curtain as the background music started to play. He took a deep breath, braced himself, and then walked on stage. The crowd went crazy as he came up to the microphone. “Hello, California!” he shouted. “We have an awesome show for you 298
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guys tonight. I don’t know about you, but I kind of want to just skip to the music.” The crowd all shouted. Michael knew Bill was probably giving him the evil eye, but he didn’t care right now. He had given him all these pointers on how to put on a great show, but Michael told him this wasn’t about the show. He wanted the people who came to enjoy the music. “How about I start out with the song I’m sure you're all dying to hear,” he said with a smile. “I’m honored to say this song was on the top ten charts in a matter of weeks after it came out. Not to brag or anything, but I wrote it completely by myself.” The crowd laughed as he grabbed his guitar and slowly started to play it. The crowd calmed down for long enough to hear the song. When you find yourself lost in life’s trials With no way to escape You must think of what you know to be true No one can be good at everything, But everyone is good at something Life is but a journey Through time and space If you never stop fighting You can choose to win your race You’ll get out what you put in Don’t find yourself Struggling in the lion’s den We all have different histories Some of us are rich, others poor But how we handle trials tells us a lot about our character 299
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Those who just give up are quitters We must hold out until the very end Life is but a journey Through time and space If you never stop fighting You can choose to win your race You’ll get out what you put in Don’t find yourself Struggling in the lion’s den Those of us who had a harder time, Hold your heads up high A new day is rising And with each new day comes new opportunities Life is but a journey Through time and space If you never stop fighting You can choose to win your race You’ll get out what you put in Don’t find yourself Struggling in the lion’s den The crowd clapped again as Michael smiled. “This next song I actually wrote a long time ago, back when I was just a teenager. Even though I wrote it long before I got a real record deal, I never included it online, on my first EP CD, or on my debut album. I can’t really give you an answer as to why that is, but be assured I’ve always liked it. Maybe I liked it so much I wanted to wait until I knew someone would 300
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actually listen to it to add it a real CD.” The crowd laughed as he began to play a generic tune. Time comes and time goes It will all be gone before you even know Just for a minute, I wish it would all stop I wish for once I could come out on top Every time I think about you and I, I wonder why we never survived I wondered why things happened the way they did But I suppose that’s life You took my love and cut it into pieces Pieces I can’t get back together You once loved me, And I’ve always loved you I know you liked him over me, But now my heart is completely shattered Nothing else really matters My heart is completely shattered I gave you that note on Valentine’s Day, A dozen roses and I danced with you in the rain I gave you my heart, I gave you my all I never expected you to make me fall I wrote you a song, I never thought you’d be gone I smiled whenever you were near No need to fear when you were here 301
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You took my love and cut it into pieces Pieces I can’t get back together You once loved me, And I’ve always loved you I know you liked him over me, But now my heart is completely shattered Nothing else really matters My heart is completely shattered And now time is still going on I’m still trying to figure out what I did wrong I can’t pick up the pieces Nothing else really matters I’ve given up, I’ve stayed tough I’m not going to let this be the end of me What I really need, Is someone better than you You took my love and cut it into pieces Pieces I can’t get back together You once loved me, And I’ve always loved you I know you liked him over me, But now my heart is completely shattered Nothing else really matters My heart is completely shattered Oh, my heart is completely shattered by you The crowd clapped again. Michael was feeling much better now that he was actually doing this, but still rather 302
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nervous. “This next song hits close to home for me. It’s what got my music career started. "When I was a teenager I just gave out little EP CDs to my friends in hope I would someday get recognized. Then my brother and I spent months getting my debut album together. We were rejected by tons of different radio stations, and we tried everything to get my name out there. Finally, so many years later, I sent a little song called Beautiful, Wonderful to a small radio in California, and it became popular almost instantly. After that it was all a matter of talking to some people and eventually getting a real record deal, creating a great album that finally got my name out. Since then I’ve become even more popular, and in a few months I have a new album coming out called Journey.” The crowd started to cheer again. “So I’m going to play that for you. There’s nothing like going back to your roots, and to a much simpler time.” He started to play a simple tune. I love you You were the one That made the stars shine brighter I dream of getting you back If only I knew where you were at You’re beautiful, wonderful You’re all I need You’re beautiful, wonderful My everything You’re beautiful, wonderful Fulfillment of dreams 303
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Silent story, silent song I’ll be wondering as I walk along The path that’s been chosen The water that’s frozen A heart so broken The world unbound You’re beautiful, wonderful You’re all I need You’re beautiful, wonderful My everything You’re beautiful, wonderful Fulfillment of dreams Quiet motion against the ocean A world so colorful so bright I believe I’m lost in time Long, short dreams, games Alone and standing strong You’re given back I see You’re beautiful, wonderful You’re all I need You’re beautiful wonderful My everything You’re beautiful, wonderful Fulfillment of dreams More clapping followed as Michael finally set his guitar down. “We have a little treat for you tonight. I’m not here alone. I would like to introduce none other than Cindy 304
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Wallence.” The crowd went crazy as an older looking woman came out with a smile. “It’s an honor to be here with you tonight,” she told them all, “and it’s an even bigger honor to be working with one of the most successful and talented people of the country music industry, Michael Lonewell. Not only does he have talent and a good heart, but he’s also very nice to look at.” The crowd laughed while Michael looked a bit embarrassed. “Just don’t get any ideas, because he’s taken. Trust me, I would be first in line if he wasn’t.” The crowd laughed even harder as Michael was practically going bright red. That wasn’t in the script. “But how about I stop embarrassing him and you guys hear some more music?” The crowd went crazy. “This is one of my favorite songs he’s written. It’s cute and flowly, yet still catchy and completely country. Michael doesn’t like when someone calls his songs cute, but come on. How else do you describe his adorable love songs that everyone seems to love?” They all laughed and clapped again. “So here’s a cute, little song called Two Minus One.” This time the band started to play and it was far from just a simple guitar melody. They began to sing a duet, having practiced this many times before. I remember those long summer nights It was just you and me by the lakeside We stayed up for hours, Talking and picking flowers Nights like those come and go Nights like those are the perfect show And now I want you to know, 305
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I don’t want you to go And with your perfect smile I want you to know, I want you to stay for a while You’re flawless in every way Baby, you take my breath away You bring out the very best in me But it seems, I might only be living a dream Remember it’s no fun with two minus one I remember the looks you always gave me How you laughed at everything I said I loved your touch, how your hair shined Please forever be mine All good things don’t have to come to an end Let’s stop all this pretend, And step out into a whole new world I don’t want to be friends And with your perfect smile I want you to know, I want you to stay for a while You’re flawless in every way Baby, you take my breath away You bring out the very best in me But it seems, I might only be living a dream Remember it’s no fun with two minus one Oh, come home I want you to know, I don’t want you to go I don’t want this to be the way it ends 306
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So let’s just take a minute, And remember those long summer nights Remember how much fun we had, Remember our love shouldn’t end up this dead I don’t want you to go And with your perfect smile I want you to know, I want you to stay for a while You’re flawless in every way Baby, you take my breath away You bring out the very best in me But it seems, I might only be living a dream Remember it’s no fun with two minus one Baby, I just want you to know, I don’t want you to go It’s no fun with two minus one The crowd went crazy. “Well, I think that’s all for me,” she said with a smile. “Hopefully we’ll be working with each other again soon. Don’t forget to buy the concert CD. My voice is amazing as it is, but add Michael’s angelic voice and I can’t see how you can’t buy it.” They continued to clap as she went off the stage. “Do you guys want to hear something new?” Michael asked. The crowd cheered like crazy. Michael was thankful that was over. “This is a song I wrote about an old girlfriend of mine. Now, I’ve been married for a while, and I didn’t do much dating before that, so when I say an old girlfriend, you can really appreciate it.” You’re giving me the silent treatment 307
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That evil stare I don’t understand what I ever did, to deserve for you not to care I don’t have all the answers I don’t have all the facts I just wish you wouldn’t leave me in the dark Just understand that I gave you all I had But it didn’t seem to be enough But I would do anything for you, baby, All you have to do is ask Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you Want to be there to wipe away your tears, and grow old with you too But, baby, you just don’t seem to feel the same You shun me and cut me down, This is so lame You leave me alone and confused at night Wondering why a girl as amazing as you, Has just shunned me out of her life It seems to me, trying to get you to like me, Is like finding a needle in a haystack We meet by the park You haven’t changed a bit That golden hair, big, blue eyes that always seem to be lit That night we had our first kiss And you walked away What more can I say? 308
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The biggest moment of my life And you didn’t seem to care I felt as if someone had cut me with a knife Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you Want to be there to wipe away your tears, And grow old with you too But, baby, you just don’t seem to feel the same You shun me and cut me down, This is so lame You leave me alone and confused at night Wondering why a girl as amazing as you, Has just shunned me out of her life It seems to me, trying to get you to like me, Is like finding a needle in a haystack That night I decided to follow you home Call it stalking all you want, but I was in love But when I looked through the window I saw someone I really didn’t want to see Why did you pick him over me? It seems this story has come to an end You never liked me, I know But that was when I decided to hit send That message I wrote so long ago, But I was convinced it would never be needed I was wrong Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you Want to be there to wipe away your tears, And grow old with you too But, baby, you just don’t seem to feel the same 309
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You shun me and cut me down, This is so lame You leave me alone and confused at night Wondering why a girl as amazing as you, Has just shunned me out of her life It seems to me, trying to get you to like me, Is like finding a needle in a haystack I gave you all my heart and you cut it in half I don’t know what I did to deserve this I loved the sound of your laugh I hated it when you cried What did that guy give you that I couldn’t? Walking alone in the dark that night I decided to give up the fight I didn’t like this game And I would never win My chances were always so slim, Finding a needle in a haystack Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you Want to be there to wipe away your tears, And grow old with you too But, baby, you just don’t seem to feel the same You shun me and cut me down, This is so lame You leave me alone and confused at night Wondering why a girl as amazing as you, Has just shunned me out of her life It seems to me, trying to get you to like me, Is like finding a needle in a haystack 310
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The crowd clapped again. That was a song everyone he’s ever showed it to liked, so he hoped it got up there once he actually released it. For the next hour he played more songs, adding speeches and jokes in-between. He got lots of cheers and claps. He tried to give them their money’s worth, but he felt like he wasn’t doing as good of a job as he would have hoped. When it was finally over he couldn’t have been more grateful. “Thank you all for coming out tonight,” he told the crowd. “I wish I could meet all of you, but sadly I can’t.” And with that he walked back into the tunnel, leaving the crowd to cheer. He had a feeling Bill was going to have something negative to say about the concert, and he was right. Not more than ten minutes after he came back into his dressing room, sighing in relief that it was finally over, Bill came in looking like he did everything wrong. “That wasn’t the way we rehearsed it, Michael,” he barked. “You were supposed to go to the edge of the stage and strum your guitar. It makes the fans that paid for the front tickets feel they got their money’s worth. And why didn’t you sing that song I gave you? You were too busy singing really old songs to sing some of the new and more in this age songs.” Michael sighed and stared at himself in the mirror, not paying much attention to him. “I did my best,” he mumbled. “That 'old' song was what got me started. It will never truly leave me, and there’s nothing wrong with singing it at a concert.” Bill shook his head in anger. “You have some backstage passes. Can I count on you to do that right, or should I be worried?” 311
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Michael sighed. “No one told me there was backstage passes,” he mumbled. “Well, surprise. Just pretend to care, snap a few photos, answer a few questions, and maybe sing a song if they so desire. It should be pretty painless.” Michael didn’t just like to blow fans off, but after being exhausted from a concert he really wasn’t in the mood to meet some obsessed fans. He figured as long as he acted like he actually cared everything should go well. He didn’t want to make them feel like he was just pretending, but that didn’t mean he had to have his whole heart into it. Besides, the people who could actually afford backstage passes were probably just the ones that had it all. He would be more interested in talking to someone he met on the street who thought they stood no chance of ever meeting him in person. He came back through the tunnel and into a special room for the backstage passes. Michael had refused to have a tour bus, since he didn’t exactly go on tour and he thought the whole idea sounded stupid. He wasn’t surprised to see the first person there was a middle aged woman, and she looked really happy to see him. “Michael Lonewell,” she said as she rushed up to him. “It’s an honor to meet you. I’m Natalie Ginger. I’ve liked you since I heard your first single, and now I can’t believe I’m actually meeting you. These tickets weren’t cheap, but they were most definitely were worth every penny.” He smiled at her, afraid for what this would bring. Was it just him, or was she beating her eyes a little too much? “Hi, Natalie,” he said. “Perhaps you would like to tell me a little bit about yourself.” “Oh, who cares about me? I want to know things about you. I know your married, but you’re also famous. Have you 312
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ever been tempted to cheat on your wife? I mean, you must meet a lot of eye candy, and your wife isn't the prettiest around.” He could see where this was going. “No, I haven't,” he stated. “And my wife is very pretty. The world’s definition of beautiful is distorted.” “She clearly must have told you to say that,” she said with a smirk. “No normal guy would say that.” “Listen, Natalie,” he said, getting kind of irritated, “I understand you probably spent a lot of money on your backstage passes, but why don’t we get down to business? We both have places to be, and I’m married.” She just stared at him, not expecting that. “Well, then,” she said, now rather embarrassed. “I guess this didn't end up being what I expected,” she said in disappointment. “I still want to know some things about you, though. Do you really write all your songs, or do you cheat a little?” “I write most of them,” he replied, grateful for the change in subject. “The ones I don’t write my manger gives me because he thinks they’ll sell well. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. In the end I prefer the songs I wrote myself.” “Where do you get the ideas for your songs? I mean how many times can you write a love song about the same person?” “You’d be surprised,” he said with a smirk. "Actually, a lot of my songs are about old girlfriends and sometimes just made up. I have written some about my wife, but you’re right, I run out of good ideas after a while.” She smiled as Bill suddenly came in and rushed her out. “Time’s up,” he told her rudely. She gave him an evil look as she walked out. Michael hoped she got her money's worth. 313
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“You only have two,” Bill told him. “Our other one never showed up for some reason, and despite what you think I knew you wouldn’t want to do them, so I was trying to be nice.” Michael was pretty sure he didn’t even know what that word meant. “Whatever. Just send them in.” Not more than two minutes later another girl rushed in, but this time it wasn’t a middle aged woman. “Hello, Michael Lonewell,” the girl said with a smile. “You have no idea how much of an honor it is to meet you. A star as big as yourself must get a lot of people who say that, but I assure you, you’ll remember me, and I’ll be very special.” Michael continued to stare at her. She was actually a teenager. He couldn’t wait to tell this to Zac when he got home. This proved it wasn't just middle aged women. She looked around Zac’s age, with long, curly, dark hair and a dark skin tone. She looked like she tried really hard this morning, and she was fairly tall. “Hello,” Michael said with a smile. “I must admit, I’m surprised that you’re a teenager.” “Come on; anyone can like your music. It’s not limited.” “Well, of course not. I have a teenage son that says my music’s boring. Of course he prefers the screamo and rock junk.” She laughed. “Like I said; I’m different. My name's Brenda Dates. You’ve probably heard of my father. He’s the host on the Today Show.” Michael blinked. “Really? Wow, that’s pretty impressive. My wife watches that on occasion.” “Oh, it’s very impressive. He’s very proud of his job. He makes almost as much as you, and I’m sure that’s saying a lot. Although I really have no idea how much you make.” 314
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Michael hated talking about money. Sure, he had a lot of it, but talking about it just made him feel weird. It wasn’t like he grew up rich. “Well, do you have any questions for me?” he asked with a smile. She didn’t seem to hear him. “I just want you to know I’m nothing like all those other teenagers out there. Some of us actually have responsibility and don’t just do what we want to do when we want to do it all the time. For example, I’m the cheer captain, fundraiser leader, and a student body officer at my school. Not to mention I have great singing talent. Maybe someday I could be just as famous as you. I'm actually looking into getting a record deal, and my father’s going to help out.” It seemed to him she was more interested in talking about herself than to him, which was kind of surprising since she paid so much money for backstage passes and all, but he didn’t want to be rude. “Well, that’s great,” he said with a fake smile. “I started when I was a teenager as well, but I didn’t get my calling until much later.” “Well, I’m sure I’m going to get my calling. I’m already a legend at my school.” “I think we might be out of time,” he said, getting kind of annoyed. “Oh, I understand. I mean you’re a busy person.” He smiled as she left. He was glad that was over. Now he could go home and just hope he got some praise for the concert rather than negative reviews. [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] On Brenda’s way out she ran into Chris and his mother, who seemed to be going off about how amazing the 315
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concert was. “He’s so down to earth,” she said with a smile. “No flashy lights, cool moves, or even backup singers. He has talent all on his own, and he knows what’s important. It’s the music, not putting on the show.” Chris was only half listening. She had been going off since the concert first started. It was hard to listen when all he heard was, “Oh, he has such an angelic voice!” or, “She better back off. If he’s married she has no chance, and if he wasn’t married, and if I wasn’t of course, I would be next in line!” Chris just felt thankful his father hadn’t come, or things could have gotten ugly. The concert was alright, but his mother’s comments and the people giving them stare downs from around him were kind of annoying. Plus the place was so big, and although they had decent seats they weren’t the best, so it was kind of hard for him to see Michael Lonewell on the stage. At least he wasn’t the one that was out five-hundred dollars because of this. Brenda spotted Chris and came over with a smirk. Chris sensed trouble. “Hello, Chris,” she said with a smile. “I wasn’t aware you were a fan of Michael Lonewell.” “I’m here because it’s my mother’s birthday,” Chris said in annoyance. “Oh, well, happy birthday,” she said with a smile directed in Whitney’s direction. She smiled back, wondering if this was a girl Chris liked. “I just got back from meeting Michael Lonewell himself,” she bragged. “I told him what I do for the school, and he seemed impressed. I also told him how I was probably going to become famous one day and he told me he started at my age. It will happen.” Chris was looking at her in annoyance. “That’s nice, Brenda,” he said rudely. “I guess we all can’t meet famous people, but if we do we at least know how to act.” 316
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“Chris,” his mother barked. “Be nice. Chris really is a nice boy,” she told Brenda. “He’s probably just stressed because of all the noise we just walked out of.” Brenda gave her a look, wondering what she was trying to pull. She didn’t care if Chris was nice or not, and in her experience he wasn’t all that nice. “Well, I should get going. I wouldn’t want to ruin Chris’s mommy time,” she said with a smirk as she walked off. Chris shook his head. “What a nice girl,” his mother said with a smile. “Are you friends?” “Brenda is no friend of mine,” Chris mumbled. “She’s a jerk who thinks she’s all that.” “You don’t know that. Get to know her and maybe you’ll change your mind. Besides, she’s pretty. Make your move before it’s too late.” Chris gave her a look of disbelief. “Until you’ve had to deal with her for just one day, you have no idea what’s she like. I don’t like her and most definitely never will.” His mother sighed. “Very well, honey. Now let’s go home and tell your father all about how amazing this concert was.” Chris had a feeling his father wouldn’t want to hear it. It would probably become a taboo in the house because it would set him off. Then again, that was a good thing because the last thing Chris wanted to do was tell him about how his mother was acting the entire time, and some of the things she said about Michael Lonewell. It would probably just set off his jealously problem and/or worsen it. [][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
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After the concert Michael tried to keep a low profile. It was hard to get out without being seen, but he managed. After Bill got done ranting to him, and he watched the concert get taken down, he grabbed a bite to eat and then headed to his hotel. He just needed some alone time and some time to talk to Carrie. He dialed her number, just wanting to hear her voice after being up on stage for so long. She answered with a sweet, “Hello.” “Carrie, hi,” he said, happy to hear her voice. “How are things going with the kids? I just got back after the concert. It was stressful, but I can’t say I’m surprised. You would think I would be used to things like this by now.” “How was the concert?” she asked. “Did they seem to like it? Did Bill yell at you about something?” “It went fine. You can never tell with screaming fans, but I have no reason to believe they didn’t like it. When is Bill not yelling at me for something?” “I’m sorry he’s such a jerk to you, but your fans make up for it, right? More importantly, did you have fun? There’s no point in being famous if you don’t like it.” “I had a blast. I love being famous. It has its drawbacks, but this is what I’ve been dreaming of since I was a child. I wish you and the kids could have been there.” “I’m sure they’ll put the concert on DVD and then we can see it.” Michael laughed. She was probably right. “Michael, there’s one thing before you leave. Amy called, and she wanted to talk to you. I told her you weren't in town, and she told me she knew that, and she was hoping she could have a word with you while you were still in California. 318
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I didn’t give her your number, but I told her you would call her.” “What?” Michael asked. “I don’t want to talk to Amy right now. I have ten million things I need to do this week. We’re doing some more recording for Journey, and I’m famous so it’s not like I can just walk out like a normal person. Why can’t she just wait until I get home?” “She said it was important and she really wanted to talk to you in person about it rather than on the phone. She’s your ex-wife and the mother of your children, Michael. Don’t you think it’s time for you guys to make amends? You’ve practically been avoiding each other since you got divorced. I can see why you’d be nervous, but don’t be.” “This isn’t about me not wanting to see Amy; this is about me being busy this week because I’m in California for a specific reason. Can’t you just call her back and tell her we’ll have to talk later, through the phone, and when I'm not busy?” “I’m not doing anything, Michael,” she stated. “I’m sure you’ll have some free time while you’re down there. Give her the benefit of the doubt and go talk to her. It’s not that hard, and she’s not asking for much.” Michael sighed. “I’ll think about it. How am I supposed to contact her? I don’t want to give her my cell.” Carrie shook her head. “She’s your ex-wife. I’m sure she wouldn’t do anything she’s not supposed to with your number.” “Yes, she would! What if she got desperate and/or wanted revenge and sold it on eBay or something?” “Just call her,” Carrie said with an annoyed tone. “You guys can work out the specifics.” Michael didn’t really want to be thinking about Amy when he was supposed to be thinking about the songs for his 319
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new record. Plus he was going to be in the spotlight the entire time he was out in California, so he needed to be careful. That was more for her protection than it was for his, though. There was a knock at his door. “I have to go,” he told Carrie. “I love you, and I hope the kids are driving you too insane.” Carrie laughed. “Well, not quite too insane,” she said with a smile. “I love you too. Have fun and don’t do anything stupid.” Michael shook his head. Doing stupid things seemed to come naturally to him. He said goodbye, hung up, and then headed to the door. He was expecting room service or maybe someone important here to see him, but instead he saw a huge crowd. Oh, boy... [][][][][][][][][][][] Brenda seemed to be in a bragging mood at school the next morning. She bragged to anyone who would listen about her two minutes with Michael Lonewell. Chris was super annoyed, Danielle was upset, and Janessa looked like she could care less. “What has everyone crowded around Brenda?” Danielle asked as she sat down at lunch. “I mean I know she likes attention, and sadly people give it to her, but isn’t this a little much?" “She’s been bragging to everyone about how she got two minutes with Michael Lonewell yesterday,” Janessa explained. “She’s been going off about how much they connected, and how he told her she was going to be famous just like him someday.” 320
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Danielle tried not to look dejected. Why did Brenda get the chance to meet some guy she probably didn’t even like very much, while Danielle gave away her tickets to help out Mark and will probably never even get to see him in person, let alone meet him? “I’m sure she’s stretching the truth, Danielle,” Janessa told her, seeing the look on her face. “This is Brenda we’re talking about. Maybe she got a word with him, but I doubt he told her she could become famous, and even if he did, he probably just meant it in a general term to make her feel better. I mean how many children were told growing up they could become president, whether their parents honestly thought that or not?” Danielle nodded, but still felt terrible. That should have been her. She should have been the one to see him in person. She had so much she could say, but probably wouldn’t. His songs got her through the hardest of times. Sometimes she felt he knew exactly what she was going through with her father. She knew that wasn’t true, but it sure seemed like it. When she got back to her apartment she just set her stuff down and then went to Mark and Amy’s apartment. She needed a pick me up right now, and if she left herself to sorrow in her own misery that wouldn’t be much of a pick me up. She walked in, not even bothering to knock, and saw Amy pacing around the room. “What am I going to tell him?” she asked Mark, who was sitting at the table looking like he didn’t want to listen to what she was saying. “We haven’t seen each other in years, and we’ve barely spoken at all since the divorce. It’s like we used to know each other through and through and the divorce just killed us both. Now I have to go and talk to him?” 321
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“You’re freaking out about this too much, Amy,” Mark told her. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one who has to go talk to a celebrity tomorrow.” Mark smirked like he found that humorous. It didn't take him long to notice Danielle. “Danielle, hi,” he said, looking rather embarrassed. “Sorry, I should really learn to knock,” she said guiltily. “Danielle, how was the concert?” Amy asked, not wanting her to ask about the celebrity thing. And she also wanted to hear how it went, since she would be talking to Michael tomorrow and should probably make herself look good by knowing a little about his concert. Danielle looked nervous. She hadn’t thought about what to tell Amy. “Well, I actually didn’t end up going,” she said rather low. Amy looked at her in shock. “You didn’t go? Well, why not? I thought he was your favorite singer, and you were super excited to see him in person?” “Well, yeah, but things came up. Our rent is a bit past due, and my father has been leaving things on, upping our utility bill. Plus it’s still kind of cold out so we’ve been trying to keep warm. I realized I could get a lot for them if I sold them online, so that’s exactly what I did. I got five-hundred bucks off them. I guess there are some things in life that are more important than some concert and a singer I probably won’t ever meet anyway.” She looked at Mark as she said it, but Amy didn’t notice because she was lost in her own thoughts. “Danielle,” she said, sounding kind of nervous, “you’re right; there are things more important than a concert. Just don’t give your hope up.” Mark gave her a look, 322
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wondering if she planned to tell her. His questioned was soon answered. “I think you should probably know that I’ve met Michael Lonewell in person before. In fact, I used to know him very well.” Danielle looked up, staring at her in shock. “What?” she asked. “When did you know Michael Lonewell? Do you know him personally? How did you meet?” Amy sighed. Well, it was now or never. “I knew him a long time ago,” she began, "but back then he was just a boy with a dream. He liked to play in the mud, he had an old car that he was super proud of, and he got through life telling me someday he would become famous and prove everyone who was ever a jerk to him wrong. I admit I thought he was a dreamer, but I tried not to bring down his dreams. Well, life went on, and I ended up marrying him straight out of high school.” Now Danielle was in even more shock. “You used to be married to Michael Lonewell?” she practically squeaked. “I know it’s hard to believe, but, yes. Remember what I said about him just being a simple man when I knew him. I didn’t know him with all the fame and money. In fact, we had huge money problems, and it ended up being one of the reasons we divorced. We were only married for a short amount of time. We parted ways, and now we haven’t spoken in a very long time, but now that he’s in California I have some things I need to talk to him about, and believe me I’m nervous. It’s crazy to think the man you once knew through and through is now a stranger to you, and an international superstar at that.” “Well, that’s awesome, Amy, but why does it matter? If he’s your ex-husband, and you guys parted ways a long time ago, why would he want to talk to you? Do you think he still likes you? Are you guys still friends?” 323
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“No,” Amy said nervously. “I want to talk to him again because of our children. We have three.” Danielle was just standing there, not knowing what to do with herself. Amy’s other children were Michael Lonewell’s too? This was crazy! Amy had to be making this up. Then again, she had never known Amy to lie before and it’s not like it was impossible for her to be the ex-wife of Michael Lonewell and for them to have had children together, but this was still crazy. “I’m not asking you to believe me,” she said, seeing Danielle’s face, “but I think you should know. Maybe that concert didn’t matter, because there are bigger things in store.” “Do you think I can meet him then?” she asked a little too excitingly. Amy smiled. “I don’t know right now, Danielle. I'm working on convincing him to let me see my children. Once I get that down, we’ll see what happens from there. Just remember that all dreams are possible.” Danielle sat down, trying to take all of this in. She was the ex-wife of Michael Lonewell, they had three children together, and she knew Michael before he was behind all the lights and fame. How could this be happening? “How old are your children?” she asked, wanting to clear her head and make sure Amy wasn’t lying. “One’s sixteen, one’s fourteen, and the other is eleven. The older ones are boys and the youngest is a girl.” Michael Lonewell had a son that was her age, and he was the son of Amy? She had to stop herself from thinking anything. He probably already had a girlfriend, and even if he didn’t he wouldn’t be interested his mother's next door neighbor, and from the sound of it, they didn’t really have a great relationship since she hadn’t seen them in so long. At 324
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least for now, maybe she could finally show Brenda up! Brenda might have had money, but she had someone who was like a mother to her that used to be married to him. She had so much more than Brenda had, and she loved the thought. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you guys get divorced?” she asked, wondering how she could leave someone as amazing as Michael Lonewell. Then again, he didn’t become famous until he was in his thirties, and from the sound of it they were married very young. Amy sighed. “Michael was a good man, but we were so young. We were married straight out of high school. Our oldest came very quickly, and we weren’t quite prepared. Michael worked these insane hours while I stayed home all day, and in the end it was miserable for both of us. Then just as everything started to look up, our second came along. It destroyed us because our money problems got so bad we couldn’t even make ends meet. He had a bit of an alcohol problem, and sometimes he got scary, and our fighting was terrible. I finally just couldn’t take it anymore and left. I don’t regret it because he’s famous, but if there’s any twinge of regret it’s because of what I landed myself into when I was so quick to leave him and needed a place to go. "Honestly, I don’t think I would have been able to handle the fame side of Michael. I knew him when he was just a man trying to find out what he wanted in life. I couldn’t handle being married to him now that he’s found it.” Well, it didn’t sound like she was lying. How could she make all that up? Why would she make all that up? She didn’t see a good reason, because although Amy didn't really have much pretending to be the ex-wife of someone famous was a little much to get more. 325
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“I would love to meet your children,” she said with a smile. “If there even half as amazing as you are then I’m sure they’ll be great and certainly fun to talk to.” “Well, I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen yet, but if they end up coming up to the apartment of course you can meet them. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for both of us.” Danielle smiled. She was pretty sure she was grinning from ear to ear, but couldn’t tell. She gave up her tickets for something better. Good things always happened to people who deserved it. [][][][][][][][][][][] “How do I look?” Michael asked George. George looked up from what he was reading and gave him a weird look. “Why does it matter? I get that you’re famous and have to look your best all the time, but you’re just going to be talking to Amy.” “She needs to see what she gave up,” he stated. “I'm famous. I want her to see I’m not the same guy she used to know.” George shook his head. “When is she supposed to get here? Dad’s going to kill me if I get too far behind. Now that it’s just me and Aaron working here things have been crazy.” “She’s supposed to be here in about half an hour. I don’t see what’s so important she couldn’t tell me over the phone. ‘Oh, it’s been so long, and we really need to talk about this in person. I mean we shouldn’t be afraid of each other.’ She thinks I’m afraid of her? I don’t think so!” George laughed. “Well, it has been a while since you’ve seen each other. You guys could have fooled me.” 326
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“Things have just been complicated. I became famous, and then all those things went down with Keith, landing me with the kids and her who knows where. It’s not that we’re afraid of each other; we’ve just both been through life.” “Well, if you’re not afraid of each other then let’s see how this meeting goes.” Michael shook his head. He was far from afraid of Amy. If anything she should have been afraid of him. [][][][][][][][][][][][][] Amy tried to pretend like she was just going into the factory for a tour or something. No one was even looking at her, but she felt like all eyes were on here anyway. She slowly headed up to the third floor, surprised no one stopped her or even gave her a funny look. Were they picky about who was up here? After she finally got up there, she saw Michael talking to George. She couldn’t help but stare for a minute. He was just the way she remembered him, with his big figure, dark brown hair, and smile that always made her melt when she was a teenager. But things had changed since then. They were no longer in love, they both got remarried, they hadn't seen each other in years, and he was famous. A lot had changed. “Hello, Michael,” she said nervously. Michael looked up and noticed her for the first time. “Amy, hello,” he said, trying to act like this wasn’t weird for him at all. “Glad you found this place alright. I suppose it’s been awhile since you’ve been to the factory.” Amy was getting more nervous. She had to cut to the chase. “Let’s talk, Michael,” Amy sound, trying to sound confident even though she still felt like throwing up because she was so nervous. She 327
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loved this guy once upon a time. She knew his hopes and fears. Why was she so nervous? She knew he was just a regular guy. Michael seemed to be smirking, probably enjoying the fact she was so nervous. “Alright,” he said like it was nothing. “Alone,” she said as she looked at George. George shook his head. “Fine,” he mumbled as he walked out of the room, leaving them alone. She was starting to think that wasn’t such a smart idea. Now she was alone with him, making her twice as nervous as before, if that was even possible. “Do you I make you nervous, Amy?” he asked with a smirk, still enjoying it. “You’re a big celebrity now. Excuse me for being a little nervous about talking to the guy that the last time I knew him he was just a man with a dream, and now he’s world famous.” Michael laughed. “Well, I’m still the same guy deep down. You can even ask George. Now I just have a ton more money and I can’t go anywhere without being followed.” She shook her head. “I want to talk to you about seeing the kids. I know it’s been a while, and that’s exactly why I want to see them again. I think it’s great you and Carrie have been raising them for all this time, and you’ve done a great job, but I’ve missed them so much and now that I’ve had the chance to talk to them I want to actually see them. I know Zac’s being difficult, and I don’t blame him, but maybe this is exactly what he needs rather than just talking to me on the phone.” Michael shook his head. “So you just want to walk back in their lives like you were always there?” he asked. “Carrie and I have been raising them for years. Do you realize 328
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how many times one of them asked me about you and how much it killed me not to have a good answer for them?” She sighed. “Michael, I know I’ve made some mistakes, but you don’t understand everything that has happened to me since they left. I’m not saying that makes it alright, but all I’m asking is to see them. I understand you have custody of them, and I promise I won’t try to change that. I just want to talk to them in person. I want to touch them and tell them how much I love them. Is that really too much to ask?” Michael studied her, trying to decide if he should feel sympathy. “What’s your situation right now? Last time we talked you didn’t even have a permanent place to stay, and you were sending the kids letters with no addresses.” “Things have changed since then. I got remarried to a wonderful man, I have some new stepchildren, and we live in a small apartment not too far away from this factory. I know it’s not much, but compared to what I have before it’s everything.” Michael nodded. “So you got remarried. Good for you, I suppose, but shouldn’t you have thought about this years ago? Did you even think about them when you were getting married? I mean I understand I’m famous and it might have been hard to get a hold of me, but I think you could have managed if you really wanted to. Isn’t it kind of sad you got remarried and your children, whom you claim to care about, didn’t even know about it?” She looked down. “I was ashamed, Michael. I was ashamed for all I did to them and I felt like I just abandoned them. I didn’t think they wanted to talk to me again. I thought they all hated me. I just barely got married a little over a year ago, though. I wasn’t really expecting to ever get remarried after Keith, but Mark proved me wrong. "I was afraid to tell him I had other children that I wanted to invite to the wedding. 329
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His ex-wife left their sons when they were little, kind of like me with Zac. I hadn’t felt that way about anyone in so long, and I knew he was a truly wonderful guy. I was afraid if I told him he would think I did the same thing to my sons his ex-wife did to his sons, and then he would leave me. Looking back now I should have just told him because I think it’s caused more problems just springing something like this on him, but he doesn’t want to leave me. He’s actually trying to help me. "Please just let me see them. They should get the chance to meet their stepfather and their new stepsiblings. I’m not even sure how long it’s been since Zac’s seen my youngest.” Michael stared at her. He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. She certainly made him feel bad about it. He didn’t know everything about what happened after they divorced, but he knew enough. Keith was the biggest jerk ever, and he didn’t understand why she didn’t just leave him. He knew he did things to her she shouldn’t have had to deal with, and he knew that she sent Zac to live with him because she couldn’t leave Keith but wanted to keep him safe. He knew she loved Zac all those years, even if she didn’t really see him. He knew that after she finally left Keith she lost everything. She surrendered not only Kyle, but also Miranda to him while she didn’t even have an actual place to stay. He felt bad about it, but he was too absorbed in his own problems with Zac and Kyle to really try to help her in any way. If she just got married a little over a year ago, it certainly hadn’t been that long since she got back on her feet and she could finally do something about wanting to see them again. He kind of understood what it was like to feel ashamed. He was afraid to take Kyle at first because he had that exact same feeling. 330
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“Michael, do you need me to remind you that you weren’t the perfect parent either? You hardly ever saw Kyle when he was a child, and don’t even get me started with what happened with Zac. I’m not saying you aren’t a good father, because you very much are, but you got your second chance. Where’s mine?” Michael sighed. “Alright, you win. You can see them again. Good luck fixing everything. I think you’ll have it easy with Kyle for sure, but you might have some issues with Miranda, and I promise you Zac will go kicking and screaming.” She smiled. “Thank you, Michael. You have no idea what this means to me. There's just one thing; I’m kind of short on money and I couldn’t fly them down here.” Michael laughed. “I’m Michael Lonewell. You leave that to me.” “I feel so bad you’ve been raising them all these years without a dime of child support from me, and if you want I can pay it all back. It might take me some time, but if that’s what you want I’ll do it.” Michael shook his head. “I don’t want your money, Amy. Your money would look like petty change to me. Besides, even if I went to court to have your checks garnished or something, they would just laugh at me, and if I ended up paying alimony I’m sure you would get a lot more than you had to give me; A LOT more.” She smiled. “Thanks again, Michael. If I could I would give you a hug, but that might make us both feel uncomfortable.” “Uh, yeah,” he said with a look as she smiled again.
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“I heard your concert was good,” she said casually, remembering what she heard the faculty at the school she subbed at say. “I guess,” he shrugged. “I didn’t do anything fancy, but I tried to give them the feel of good music.” “I think it’s awesome you haven’t let yourself get caught up in fame. I mean I’m sure you’re not perfect, but with all the celebrity scandals you hear about, you’re never included. You even have six children. I think that’s awesome.” “Well, I worked to get where I am today, while most celebrities don’t. Well, at least not as much as I did. There’s nothing wrong with a big family.” “I just wanted to tell you thank you,” she sighed, reminding herself she had no reason to be afraid of him, and he needed to know how grateful she was. “You not only took Zac when he desperately needed you, but you also helped me with Keith, took Miranda in, took Kyle, and then still let me see the kids again after I hadn’t even spoken to them in years or paid a dime of child support, in which you just waved. I owe you a lot, and I’m very grateful.” Michael nodded. “Don’t sweat it, Amy. Believe me, I enjoyed every minute of what I gave Keith, Zac, and Miranda were a pleasure to take in, and I don’t care about money. I have more of it than I’ll ever know what to do with.” She smiled and then took a deep breath. She was glad that was over. Now they just had to work out the specifics and she would finally be holding her children in her arms. She just wished she didn’t have to wait any longer. And she especially wished Zac would just talk to her. She had so much she wanted to say to him. [][][][][][][][][][] 332
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A few days later Zac was sitting in his room, just staring at his computer screen. He should have been doing homework, but his mind was on something else. He finally stopped staring and headed downstairs, actually kind of hungry. Kyle suddenly rushed up in front of him when he got to the bottom of the stairs. “Do you see this, Zac?” he asked as he held up a piece of paper. Zac saw that it was an essay of some sort with a big A+ at the top. “Yeah,” Zac said, not understanding what the big deal was. He got A’s on papers all the time. “Weren’t you telling me the other day it’s sad dad pays for me to go to a private school and I get C’s and D's? Well, this right here proves you wrong. That’s an A+, in case you can’t read.” Zac rolled his eyes. “Congratulations. Now let me through so the rest of us can get on with our lives.” Kyle moved, still smirking as Zac shook his head. It was really sad he didn’t get A’s enough to not care. Carrie smiled at them as she came passed them. Neither one of them smiled back, while she just shook her head. She came into the kitchen and was surprised to hear that Michael was crying. He was sitting on the table with his head in his hands. She couldn’t see the tears, and he wasn’t bawling or anything, but he certainly was crying. She wasn’t only alarmed that he was crying, but also that he was home for that matter. He was supposed to stay in California for a little bit, and she thought he would have told her if he was planning on coming back. Now he was just here. “Michael, what are you doing home? And what’s wrong?” she asked as she came up to him and tried to comfort 333
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him. It was kind of hard because he wouldn’t budge so she couldn’t get a grip around him to give him a hug.” “I came home early,” he replied through tears. “George called me. Something happened, and I just couldn’t stay in California.” She gave him a concerned look. “Well, what happened? Is everything alright?” He sniffled a bit. What was so concerning about this was Michael rarely cried. Sometimes when he would have terrible nightmares about his childhood he would cry, but that was usually only sniffles, and he would never admit to it when she woke up and asked him what was wrong. He always told her crying was pointless, and after all he went through in his life he didn’t have the energy to cry, nor did he care to. To see him like this made Carrie want to cry with him, and she wasn’t even sure why he was crying. “My older brother passed away last night,” he told her. “Not George, but my other older brother, Dallin.” She stared at him in shock. She wasn’t expecting that. “Michael, I’m so sorry,” she said. Thankfully by this time he had finally sat up enough to let her wrap her arms around him. She felt tears come to her eyes as well. She knew what it was like to lose an older brother. She could only imagine what he was going through, especially after he had just talked to him not more than a few weeks ago. “I don’t know what to say,” she said sadly. “We can’t control everything, but sometimes things just happen. I never expected to lose my older brother, and it still affects me to this day, but I’ve learned to accept it. At least you and George can get through this together.” Michael nodded, although his heart wasn’t into it. He was just trying to make her feel like she wasn’t just wasting her breath. 334
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“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened? I mean you just talked to him a few weeks ago. Was he in bad condition? Was it some kind of accident?” Michael sighed. “I wish it was some kind of accident,” he mumbled. “George told me his daughter called the police when she found him passed out on the floor. He majorly overdosed. I don’t even know on what, but the doctors said he was dead when he got to the hospital. They called my mother and George came there a few hours later. He said by then he was already just a corpse. He was ice cold and looked like he had been dead for days rather than just a few hours.” Now Carrie was in even more shock. “That’s so sad. Was he really that depressed? Oh, his poor daughter. How could someone handle finding their father dead on the floor?” “This is my fault. He overdosed just weeks after we talked. Did it have anything to do with my concert? I just can’t believe I came to visit him, and only a few weeks later he overdosed.” “Don’t say that, Michael,” Carrie barked. “This wasn’t your fault. I don’t know why he was depressed enough to take his own life, but it had nothing to do with you. You need to look at the bright side. At least you tried to make amends before he was gone. Maybe the fact that he didn’t take it was because of his own problems, not yours.” “But the last thing that happened between us was an argument! I went there to make amends, and all I ended up doing was arguing with him. Now he’s gone and it’s just horrible to think about.” “It wasn’t your fault,” she repeated as she wrapped her arms around him. He didn’t pull away, but he still felt horrible. He should have tried harder. He shouldn’t have lost his temper. 335
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Losing his temper always made bad things happen in his life. He should have learned by now! Later that night Michael and Carrie both agreed this was a family matter and everyone needed to know. Zac didn’t look very excited about the idea of a “family meeting,” but knew Michael wouldn’t be giving him a choice in the matter. Once they were all in the living room, looking like they would rather be doing anything else, Michael surprised them. “Last night someone very important to me passed away, and this person is a member of our family.” He now had their attention, and they were all staring at him. “My older brother passed away, and we’ll be doing the funeral soon. He was a good guy.” Zac suddenly stood up in shook. “George died? You have got to be kidding me!” Michael shook his head. “Not George, my other older brother. George is fine.” Now it was Kyle that stood up. “You have another older brother?” “You guys have never met him. Let’s just say he didn’t really like me, but it doesn’t matter. Family will always be family no matter how much you guys don’t get along.” Kyle swore he was looking at him and Zac as he said it. “That is so sad,” Emily said. “Are you sad your older brother’s gone?” “Of course I’m upset,” he barked, looking rather angry. “It was his brother, so it’s a touchy subject for him,” Carrie told them. “You best not ask any more questions.” “They can ask as many as they want,” Michael objected, but his eyes said something different. Thankfully everyone seemed to get the clue and they all started to leave, 336
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not wanting their father to blow up on one of them. He tended to get pretty mad when he got emotional. Carrie turned to him and gave him a sad look. “Michael, I really am sorry, but talking about it will help. You might not think it will, but it will.” “You know what I want to talk about?” he asked, raising his voice slightly more than he needed to. “I need to control my temper. Every time I lose it something bad happens. Every time! Why haven’t I learned by now? I’ve watched my life go downhill since before I could remember, and although most of it wasn’t my fault, the things that were my fault always had something to do with losing my temper. Just think about how much better my life could be right now if I just learned to control it. Now Dallin’s gone, and I once again have another clear reminder of why it’s always a bad idea.” “I repeat, Michael, what happened to Dallin had nothing to do with you. That may be true, but don’t down on your life. You have a great career, you make plenty of money, and not to mention you’re a great guy with a great family. Your hard time in life is over. Of course you’ll still have trials, and that’s exactly what this is, but now you have great people by your side to help you and there not anywhere near as hard as they were before.” Michael nodded, thinking her words were sweet but not sure if he believed them. She gave him another hug, and he returned it with a kiss. He would miss Dallin terribly, but he needed to move on with his life. Now that Dallin was gone maybe he would finally see what he was trying to tell him all along. Maybe through death, he would finally forgive him for something he really didn’t do. In the meantime he had his mother to worry about. They hadn’t seen each other in such a long time, and there was a reason for that, but it was kind of 337
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hard to have a family member die and only one of them to show up...
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Chapter Thirteen
What brings us together
Z
ac was sure not to push his father’s buttons for the
next couple days, not wanting him to blow up since he just lost his brother, but he was really curious to know more about this guy and why he had never met him before. It was crazy to think he had an uncle and maybe even cousins he never knew about. There had to be a reason behind that, and a good reason at that. He knew his father most definitely had some family problems, but his family seemed pretty normal. His father and what he thought were only two siblings came every year for Christmas, and then they went there for thanksgiving. They 339
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came out to California often enough and his father was super close to his older brother. He never thought much of it. Of course the fact he didn’t have a grandma had always made him wonder. Well, he did have a grandma; Or at least he thought he did. Aaron had mentioned her to him more than once, but always dropped the conversation when he started to ask questions. He knew he knew something that he didn’t, but every time he tried to bring the subject up with his father he told him it didn’t matter and then refused to talk anymore about it. He even tried getting angry and bringing Aaron up, but his father didn’t care. He didn’t even answer him fully when he asked about his mother. He just told him he didn’t have a mother, and no amount of complaining and bringing up what Aaron said would get to admit he was lying. His father didn’t like to lie. He always taught him it was one of the lowest things someone could do and refused to let him do it as a child. But when he said he didn’t have a mother, he knew he was lying. “I don’t understand,” Zac told him as Michael was in the kitchen, doing something on his laptop. He looked annoyed that Zac was in here and insisted on talking to him. “You have a brother that you’ve never told us about, which means you probably don’t get along with him or see him very often. Is this like a sibling rivalry? Is it anything like mine and Kyle’s relationship? I mean obviously we don’t get along the best, but I don’t know if I would go as far as to stop talking to him and not be a part of his or his children’s lives when we both become adults.” “My brother and I didn’t get along, and our feelings for each other carried over to when we became adults. That’s all there is to it.” 340
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“There has to be more to it than that. Kyle and I don’t get along, but like I said, we would never go that far.” Michael sighed. “I would hope you and Kyle never end up like me and my brother, but remember that feelings freeze in time. If you guys don’t get along now, you might end up leaving each other with those same feelings, and then things can be complicated.” “So is that what happened between you two; you guys didn’t get along, and then when you moved out the feelings froze in time?” “Something like that,” Michael mumbled. “So when are we doing this funeral? Who’s all going to be there? Are there other family members I should know about?” Michael didn’t want to tell him about his mother, but he would probably figure it out soon enough. He just wasn’t sure if he was ready for this. He would rather talk to Dallin than his mother any day. Now he was about to go to a funeral where she was sure to be there, and who knew what condition she would be in, being that she just lost her oldest son. He didn’t know what condition any of them would be in. Dallin was a member of the family, and losing him would kill them all. “We’re doing it next week,” Michael replied in annoyance. “Don’t worry about it. It shouldn’t take up that much of your time, so you won’t miss school or anything. We’ll fly down there on my jet, and then after attending the funeral come back. It’s no big deal. It doesn’t matter who’s going to be there. You’re going to mourn and remember your uncle, not for a family reunion.” He needed that advice just as much as Zac did. It wasn’t a family reunion, so he didn’t have much to worry about. 341
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“I didn’t even know the guy. It’s kind of hard to remember and mourn for a guy you didn’t even know.” Michael shook his head and went back to his computer. Zac sensed he was going to ignore him and walked away in annoyance. The joke was on him, because he would find out soon enough. Maybe his father was going to this funeral to actually mourn for the guy who died, but Zac didn’t know him so he had other plans. He was finally going to figure out what his father had been hiding about his mother for all these years. If he had a brother that he never knew about, he had a feeling more secrets were to come. Michael had a lot on his mind as he went to bed that night. Carrie was still in her, “If you ever need to talk to someone about how you’re feeling I’m here. Don’t forget I know exactly what you’re going through, and I’m your wife, so you shouldn’t be afraid to talk to me.” Michael wanted to point out her situation and his situation were completely different. She might have lost her brother as well, but they were really close, unlike him and Dallin. It was just weird he was going to try to make amends with him only for him to take his own life only weeks later. It was depressing. His manager wasn’t happy that he not only left early, but also refused to come back down. “I have a family emergency,” Michael had told him. “You’re famous!” Bill, his manager, said in annoyance. “You don’t have time for a family emergency. This album isn’t going to get itself done. It’s coming out really soon, Michael, and we’re not even close to finishing it. You don’t have time to take off right now.” “I can’t help that I have a family emergency. I’ll get to the album when I get to it.” 342
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This didn’t seem to be what his manager wanted to hear, and now he had been getting nasty phone calls and emails relating to getting sued. Michael wasn’t worried about it, though. It wouldn’t kill his manger to wait a few weeks until after he was emotionally stable after what happened. He just hoped more than anything that this didn't get out to the public. That last thing he wanted everyone to find out was his brother had committed suicide. That would lead to questions, and maybe they could even figure out he was in foster care as a child. He couldn’t let that happen. “Are you feeling alright, Michael?” Carrie asked him. “I know this is a lot to take in, and even though it’s been a little while, you still need more time.” “I’m fine, Carrie,” he told her. “I just have some things I need to think about.” “You should stop blaming yourself for what happened. Whatever reason he had to take himself out of this life had nothing to do with you. It’s sad, yes, but you can’t make choices for other people. It would be nice if you could, but sadly you can’t.” “This isn’t about Dallin,” he sighed. “I’ve just been thinking about all who’s going to be at this funeral.” Carrie blinked. “Is your mother going to be there?” “It was her oldest son. I don’t see why she would miss it. Just imagine, Carrie. My father and mother are going to be in the same place for the first time in forever. They can’t stand each other. Even when I was a kid they would fight like crazy, and I don’t ever remember them kissing each other, or even acting like they were in love. They stayed together for us. Or at least they thought they were staying together for us,” he said bitterly. “I know this isn’t about my problems, but I just so 343
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nervous. I don’t want the funeral to be ruined because something happens.” “You don’t have to talk to her. Just pretend she’s not there. If she tries to talk to you then ignore her. I’m sure your father wouldn’t make a scene with her at his own son’s funeral.” “Well, it’s not just me I’m worried about; there are also the kids. I mean think about it. She’s probably going to want to meet them once she sees them.” “I thought she couldn’t stand you. Why would she want to meet your children?” “She’s not right in the head, Carrie. One minute she hated me and acted like I was some kind of pet, and the next minute she was embracing me and treating me like I was her son again. It’s been years. I don’t know what mood she’s going to be in, or whether or not she’s still just as crazy as before.” Carrie sighed. “I’ll keep Tyler and Lorie close to me. I’m not really worried about the other kids, because they’re old enough to handle it. So as long as she doesn’t try anything too crazy I think everything would fine. However, I am curious to meet her myself. I’ve never met her before, and I completely respect that, but if I get the chance then why not?” Michael shook his head. “Go for it, but I doubt she'll even care to meet you. She hates me. She might want to meet the kids because they’re her grandchildren and she’s never met them before, but someone as simple as my wife probably isn’t someone she cares much to meet.” Carrie suddenly grabbed his hand. “Hey, I know you’re nervous, but you have no need to be. You’re a big star now with a great family. Nothing’s going to happen. If she tries anything I’m sure I’m not the only one who will put her in her place. Don’t worry about it.” 344
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He smiled and then lied down. She was right. He had no reason to be nervous about something as simple as a funeral. They were going there to mourn and remember his brother, not deal with family problems. She would be there, but they would just make eye contact and go their separate ways, knowing why they were here. He had nothing to worry about. “Oh, and one more thing,” Michael said as he sat up, suddenly remembering his conversation with Amy before all this went down. “Amy and I talked while I was in California, and she told me she wanted to see the kids in person. I didn’t really go with the idea, but she begged me. I guess it wouldn’t kill them.” “I think it would be good for them,” Carrie said with a smile. “I’m sure Kyle would love it, and Zac will get over it. She’s their mother, and that won’t change. Maybe we could go visit her while we’re out in California for your brother’s funeral. I know that’s not what we’ll be there for, but it won’t kill us to get two birds with one stone, right?” Michael smiled. “I suppose not. I’ll have to think about it. Hopefully Amy will agree on such short notice.” Carrie gave him a look. “Amy should feel lucky she even gets to see them. If she honestly has a problem with it I won’t feel much sympathy for her.” Michael smiled. And that was Carrie. Super nice until you brought up a subject she felt passionately about, and then she wasn’t so nice anymore. Being a mother was a subject she felt VERY passionate about. [][][][][][][][][][][][]
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When Mark came home after work a few days later Amy ran up to him, looking like she was jumping for joy. “Welcome home, Mark,” she said with a big smile on her face as she threw her arms around him. Mark was a bit surprised. Usually when he got home she said something along the lines of welcome, but never got anywhere near him because of his smell. Today she didn’t seem to mind the smell, and she was certainly acting much more excited than she normally did. “Well, good to be home,” he said with a smile. “What has you so happy? I mean I know it’s awesome when I come home,” he joked, “but isn’t this a little much?” She backed away, still having a smile on. “Michael called this morning and told me they were going to be coming out to California for something next week, and if I was okay with it on such short notice he could bring the kids. Can you believe it? I get to see them in only a week!” Mark smiled. Well, this certainly was short notice. “Well, that’s great, honey. I guess you didn’t have to be as patient as you thought. What day is he coming? I would love to meet them, but I can’t get off work on such short notice.” “He said he would be out here next Saturday, which means he’ll probably be coming on Sunday. You’ll be fine. There’s no way I would see them without you getting a chance to meet them.” “So, will Michael be coming here?” Mark asked, looking around as if this apartment were a disgrace. “Mark, don’t worry. I used to be married to him. He hasn’t always been rich and famous. He won’t judge when he sees our apartment.” Mark had a hard time believing that. What rich and famous person wouldn’t judge an apartment like this? Even if 346
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he used to be poor, he had it all now. Having it all could really change a person. “Either way we need to clean this place from top to bottom. He might not judge something we can’t control, but if our apartment looks like a disaster he can easily judge that.” Mark looked around. “Amy, our apartment isn’t that bad. We’ve been through this. It’s very old and therefore no matter how much you clean it it still won’t look perfect.” “I don’t care,” she said as she started to look around. “We have to do our best, and right now it’s certainly not our best.” Mark wanted to point out there were a lot of people living in a tiny space, but he knew there would be no point in arguing with her. Now that her children were coming over everything would have to be perfect. He had to admit, the nervousness of a famous person coming to his small apartment was enough for him to want everything perfect as well. What would a famous person like Michael Lonewell think about his horrible apartment? [][][][][][][][][][][][] Michael had to deal with his manager all week, and that didn’t make him very happy. He was going around the living room mumbling things under his breath. The kids all seemed to avoid him, knowing that something had him very mad, and with his brother’s death added to it they knew he would probably bark at the first person he saw. Carrie, the only one who wasn’t afraid of him when he was mad, came into the living room and saw him pacing. “You’re famous,” Michael mumbled, mocking his manager’s voice. “You should realize being famous has responsibilities associated with it. If you have a problem deal 347
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with it. I don’t care about your family problems. The album is more important right now.” Carrie sighed. “Michael, I’m sorry your manager’s being such a jerk. I’m sure you have a lot on your plate right now without him reminding you about your album.” “This is ridiculous,” Michael said, raising his voice slightly. “I have my brother's suicide on my mind, the fact that I’m going to be seeing my mother again, and having to worry about what’s going to happen with Amy seeing the kids again. The last thing I need right now is my manager breathing down my back and telling me I need to be worried about my album. I get that it comes out this summer, but I have time. Right now I need to be thinking about this. What doesn’t he understand about MY BROTHER’S GONE?” Carrie came over and tried to calm him down. “Remember what you said about bad things always happening whenever you lose your temper,” she said with a smile. He just gave her a look, not being in the mood. “Oh, it’s too late for that. I’m about to see my mother again. Tempers will be lost.” She shook her head as he headed upstairs. She felt so bad for him. It’s not like she blamed him for how stressed out he was. She just hoped nothing terrible would happen during this funeral. She had never met his mother, but she didn’t have much of a desire to. With all the horror stories she heard from when he was a kid she worried about him. Would he be able to handle this? Would he retaliate and lose his temper on her, or would he end up coming back in tears? She wasn’t sure, but she didn’t want to see this hurt him anymore than it already has. It was supposed to end years ago, but of course it never would. Michael had always remembered it. 348
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Kyle seemed excited about getting to ride in his father’s jet. He was going off about it all week, and when the time finally came to actually ride in it he was sure to be the first one out. “How fast does it go?” he asked his father. “Will we be zooming through the air like a fighter plane?” “You watch too many action movies, Kyle,” Zac said in annoyance. “It’s just like a normal plane, except smaller,” his father told him, looking rather annoyed himself. “Don’t bark at me because you’re in such a bad mood,” Kyle mumbled. Michael looked like he was going to blow up on him, but Carrie saved the day. “Let’s just go,” she said, standing in front of Michael. “We’re all ready so there’s no point in waiting any longer.” Michael still looked like he wanted to yell, but to please Carrie he just got ready and they left. Zac had a feeling his father was going to be testy for a while, and made a mental note not to say anything stupid. Kyle, on the other hand, didn’t seem to get the clue. “Should I be prepared for when we take off?” Kyle asked. “I mean I know you usually have to have gum for normal plane rides, so will this be any different? Will I get the rush?” “No, Kyle,” Michael barked, starting to get even more testy. “It will be just like a normal plane ride.” “Why do you always have to suck the fun out of everything? Imagine yourself as a first time flyer on a private jet. What was it like your first time? Was the person you asked as mean as you are?” Michael looked like he was going to go off. He was not in the mood right now. 349
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“Kyle, don’t you know when talking isn’t good for you?” Zac asked. “He clearly doesn’t want to talk right now, so why can’t you just shut up for five seconds?” “I didn’t ask you,” Kyle said back. “Enough, guys!” Michael shouted. They both looked at him in fear. He looked mad, and Zac could count on one hand the amount of times he had seen him this mad, and it never ended well. “Either sit down and shut up, or I’ll give you a reason to.” They both sat down and were quiet after that. Carrie looked like she wanted to say something, but even she looked a bit afraid right now. She wanted to tell Michael to be careful so their family problems didn’t end up the next big story, but she had a feeling he didn’t care right now, and she couldn’t risk him losing his temper and doing something he would regret, especially around the kids. She knew he would never hurt her, but she didn’t want to test that theory with the way he was feeling right now. She didn’t even attempt to grab his hand like she usually did when he was upset. She just sat back and decided to leave him to his own thoughts. The ride there was dead silent, and it was most definitely an awkward silence. Michael looked like he was ready to pound someone, and they all looked rather afraid, especially Zac. He remembered when he came home that day and how mad he looked. This wasn’t far off. Of course he knew that things had changed since then, but this was bad. He didn’t want to risk making him do something stupid, especially in front of the world. He had a feeling this would be all over the news. Nothing they did was safe from the public eye, sadly. Thankfully by time they got to the hotel he didn’t look so much as angry anymore, rather nervous. He locked himself in his hotel room as Carrie got everyone situated. 350
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“Mommy, why is daddy so upset?” Lorie asked her as Carrie helped her unpack. “Your father just has a lot on his plate right now, sweetie,” Carrie replied with a smile. “He’ll feel better soon. Just give him some time.” She nodded, not understanding why he needed time. “He should always be happy,” Lorie told her. “He’s the best singer in the world!” Carrie smiled at her and then gave her a hug. “Of course he is, sweetie, but even the best singer in the world gets down sometimes.” Once she was done helping Lorie unpack she decided to take her chances and head into the bedroom. She was surprised that it wasn’t locked, and then saw Michael sprawled out across the bed, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. “Michael, I know you’re stressed and nervous, but everything will be fine,” Carrie told him as she sat on the edge of the bed. “This funeral will be about your brother, not her. You don’t even have to talk to her if you don’t want to.” “I’m sorry, Carrie,” Michael sighed. “I’m acting like a complete baby and jerk about this. I shouldn’t take it out on people that had nothing to do with it, and I shouldn't freak out so much. I know it’s not about my mother, and I shouldn’t make it about her. I guess I just can’t believe only three weeks ago I was talking to him, and now I’m attending his funeral. The worst part is it wasn’t an accident or something he had no control over. He took his own life. It’s just depressing.” She finally grabbed his hand, and he didn’t seem mad about it. “This has just been a stressful and crazy week. No one blames you. I don’t blame you for being upset that he took his own life right after talking to you, but I will repeat until the 351
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day I die that it wasn’t your fault. Whatever reasoning he had for it, don’t blame yourself. The only thing you can do at this point is go to the funeral and remember him as the brother he was. That’s all there is to it, Michael. Even if your mother’s there you shouldn’t let her get to you. Just remember what you’re there for.” Michael nodded. He was glad Carrie was always there to make him feel better and give him an optimist point of view when he needed it. He felt like he would never be worthy of her. She was just so amazing. She fell asleep in his arms that night, and she was thankful he was finally happy enough to snuggle with her. For the past week he had been too into his own problems to let her snuggle with him, and before that he was gone for a few weeks. Only time would tell what would happen from here, and especially at the funeral. She could only imagine the way he was feeling right now, and even thinking about that woman made her nervous. As they all came into the room Zac looked around. It was rather small, with a coffin at the front and a few chairs placed behind it. He was a bit surprised. Shouldn’t there be more chairs? Surely that wouldn’t be enough. But he didn’t dare ask his father this, because although he didn’t look mad anymore, he still looked like he had a lot on his mind, and he most likely wouldn’t be in the mood to answer his questions right now. There were a few people here that he recognized, but other than that really no one. It was kind of empty and depressing. It wasn’t just the number of people that were there that was depressing, but also the looks on everyone that was there. He spotted George, which was a good confirmation his father hadn’t been lying when he said that George was fine, 352
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but he looked really upset. He was sitting in a chair, staring up at the coffin with a depressed look on. Zac had to remind himself that maybe he didn’t know this guy, but he was supposed to be his uncle and therefore he was his father’s and his other uncle’s brother. It would be hard for him to lose a brother, no matter how much they didn’t get along. He still found it sad he was never a part of their lives. What family feud could be big enough to keep someone out of their nieces and nephews lives? Michael was super nervous as he walked in. Was he really about to do this? This wasn’t just about Dallin. This was about so many things that would now come out. He didn’t want the kids to find out about his childhood, but he was afraid for what would happen at this funeral. He just hoped they would be too busy on whatever else they were doing to notice what was going on between him and his family, or worse, him and his mother. He sat down in the back, not wanting to draw too much attention to himself. Carrie followed Lorie wanting to go over and sit by Derek. He sighed when he saw the way his father looked. He had this look in his eyes that made Michael feel so bad for him. He might have lost a brother, but he lost his oldest son. He could only imagine what that felt like. He hadn’t seen that look in his eyes since, well... Thankfully he seemed to perk up when Lorie came over. “Hi, grandpa,” she said with that cute smile of hers. Derek smiled back as she came over to sit by him. “Hello, Lorie,” he said with a smile. “How are you today?” “Good,” she said, not understanding why everyone else seemed so sad. Carrie came and sat down next to her. Michael was thankful Lorie was able to put him in a better mood. Then again, Lorie could put anyone in a better mood. 353
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“Michael Lonewell,” he heard someone say. “To what do I owe this honor?” He turned around, afraid to see a fan that somehow figured out his brother had passed and there was a funeral today, but instead saw his mother. He got nervous, wondering why she was addressing him like that. He couldn’t remember the last time they had seen each other. It must have been when Zac was little. She hadn’t changed a bit. She still had that hallowed out look like she never ate, she still had her super fine and super thin hair that was always all over the place, and she still had those cold, green eyes. He would never forget those eyes. “The death of someone we both cared about,” he mumbled, irritated she had asked such a question. “Well, you’ll have to forgive me,” she said as she came a bit closer. “It’s just that we never see each other, and now we’re practically strangers. I mean it’s not every day I run into a famous person.” He was looking straight ahead, still annoyed. They weren't practically strangers, they were strangers. “Well, I guess today is your lucky day. Now sit down and remember what you came here for.” She shook her head. “You know something? Everyone calls me the bad guy, but you’re not much better. You just go through life pretending like I’m dead or something, and when I do try to talk to you, you shun me out.” Michael suddenly sprang up. Zac was watching intently, knowing this was his mother and wanting to know what would become of this. He clearly hated her, but why? He didn’t act like this around his father. “I shun YOU out?” Michael asked in rage. “You’ll have to refresh my memory on 354
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the first twelve years of my life. You dare say I shun YOU out?” “Why am I always the bad guy? What about your father? He was always perfect, right? I was just this witch that was controlling him. That’s what you and Maybell seem to think. Why is he always the hero?” George was now over there, not sure what to say, but he wanted to to break this up before something got ugly. Derek seemed to be looking straight ahead, not caring what was going on while Carrie rushed over there to make sure Michael didn’t do something he regretted, and to see the woman he had told her about. “I never said he was the hero. At least he tried. You just acted like I was something you could throw around, and then later you acted like I never existed.” “Don’t you think what happened did a number on me? Do you think I just told myself all was fine when you left? Maybe pretending like you didn’t exist was the only way I knew how to get through what happened.” “You were the reason for what happened!” “Hey, let’s be nice,” George said, nervous one of them was going to blow up on him. “Remember we’re here to remember Dallin, not past problems.” “Well, excuse me for seizing my chance since I only see Michael once every five years if I’m lucky.” “You brought that on yourself!” “Hey, guys, George is right,” Carrie said, being nervous herself. “I know you guys probably have a ton to catch up on, but now’s really not the time. Isn’t it better to remember your brother for how much he meant to you and how he changed your life?” 355
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“Who are you?” his mother asked, looking a little annoyed some pretty and nice girl was trying to be the peacemaker for a fight she knew nothing about. “I’m Michael’s wife,” Carrie replied with a smile as she grabbed Michael’s hand. His mother nodded. She had remembered George mentioning something about him getting divorced, but that was a long time ago. This must be his second wife, unless there was one in-between that she didn’t know about. “Well, Michael’s wife,” she said, mocking the fact she didn’t give her a name, “leave us to handle this.” “Now just a minute,” Michael said, his temper starting to flare again. “Any business of mine is a business of my wife’s as well. Because, you know, when you’re married you share something.” She looked annoyed by that comment. “I’m aware, Michael. Believe it or not your father and I loved each other at one point in time, and we were together for years after that loved went away. You honestly think I don’t know what you share when you’re married? This doesn’t concern her.” “It’s alright, Michael,” Carrie said, not wanting him to do something stupid with how bad his emotions were right now. “I’ll leave if she wants me to.” Michael wouldn’t let go of her arm. It looked like he wouldn’t be letting her leave. “I’m not afraid of you,” Michael said. Carrie wondered if he was trying to prove a point to her now. This could get ugly, because Michael would go to any means to prove a point. “Well, good for you. It has been a while, hasn’t it? I think I might be a little concerned if you were still afraid of me.” “I’ve never been afraid of you!” 356
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“Michael, stop yelling,” Carrie told him, getting kind of concerned since he was griping her arm a little too tightly. Michael soon realized this and then let go, feeling really bad and hoping he hadn’t hurt her. She didn’t look very happy as she backed away. “Temper, Michael,” his mother said with a bit of mock. “You wouldn’t want a repeat of last time. Don’t think I don’t keep up with the family gossip,” she said when he gave her surprised look. But that surprise soon turned into more anger. “That was a mistake and you have no right to bring it up!” “Oh I don’t, do I? It seems kind of unfair you’ve held what happened with me over my head but then you can do the same thing to one of your children and it’s alright.” Carrie shook her head and sat down. And this just got ugly. Michael couldn’t stand it when anyone brought up what happened with Zac. “There is a big difference with that you did and what I did!” Suddenly Zac was standing next to them, looking like he wanted to say something. “I don’t know what exactly you guys are talking about with what you did to my father, but I just want to say I’m not mad. He’s right; you shouldn’t bring something up that isn’t any of your business. The only person who has the right to bring it up is me, and I don’t bring it up because I’ve let it go.” She seemed shocked by this sudden outburst from whoever this boy was. She was about to ask who he was, but then realized she had no need to ask. He looked just like Michael, and he had come to his defense when he talked about an issue with his oldest son. This must have been Zac. They 357
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had met once before, but it was such a long time ago she doubted he remembered her. “You must be Zac,” she said with a smile, the anger now gone away. “Do you know who I am? We’ve met once before, but you were so young I’m sure you probably don’t remember me.” Zac studied her. He didn’t remember this woman. Of course he knew who she was now, but before this she didn’t recognize her. He shook his head. “Well, that’s alright. You look so much like your father I would think you were his clone rather than his son if I didn’t know any better.” Zac wasn’t sure how to respond to this. He knew nothing about this woman except she was his grandmother, and he did something really horrible to his father when he was a kid, causing them not to talk to each other all these years. Then again, he hadn’t talked to his older brother either. He really didn’t understand what had happened to create all these bitter feelings. It seemed the feelings were channeled to certain people, because he got along with everyone else just fine. “I don’t understand,” Zac said, deciding to take his chances. “If you’re supposed to be my grandmother why have I never met you? What happened to make all these bitter feelings? Not just any bitter feelings, but not talking to someone in your own family for all these years. Don’t I have the right to know?” His mother seemed surprised by his question, and Zac didn’t understand why. “You’ve never told him, Michael?” she asked. “It’s not any of his business,” Michael mumbled in reply. 358
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“Tell me what? Come on; I have the right to know. It’s my family too.” “If your father doesn’t want you to know I’m not going to be the one to tell you, Zac,” she said with a smile. “Sorry, but you’re his son, and it’s his decision on whether or not he wants to tell you.” Zac didn’t seem satisfied by this. George suddenly smiled. “Well, I think it’s time we get to the actual funeral. I mean that is what we’re here for, right?” Michael nodded in reply and then went to go sit down without another word. His mother did the same, looking a bit too happy for just getting done with an argument. Zac studied her as he sat down. What had happened? Was she bipolar? It sure seemed like it. But being bipolar seemed like a stupid reason to stop talking to someone for most of their life. The funeral started and everyone listened. Zac heard a few things about this uncle he never knew about, and then it was opened for anyone to say what kind of guy they thought he was. Zac wondered if his father would go up, but George ended up going up instead. “As you can see, there are not many people here,” he said. Zac looked around and realized he was right. But he wondered why he had pointed that out. “That’s because Dallin might not have had a ton of friends, but he still had plenty of people who cared about him. He was a great brother, despite the fact we didn’t always get along. Hearing about his death was one of the worst news I’ve ever had to hear, and I’m sure I can speak for other people when I say that. Dallin loved to have fun, and every day was a party with him. He cared about his family very much. I know I’ll never forget someone like my older brother, and it’s going to be hard to know that he’s 359
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not there anymore, but wherever he is, I’m sure he’s much happier.” With that said he sat down. Zac stared at him. He liked to have fun? That still didn’t explain why they hadn’t spoken in so long. He was his brother! Suddenly Michael’s mother came up, and she seemed completely confident unlike George a few minutes earlier. “I didn’t just lose a son; I lost a best friend. Dallin loved to spend time with me and be around his mother. It’s a shame he had to go like this, but I’m sure wherever he is he’s looking down on us and knows that we’re still going to be a great family, even if he’s not here.” Zac looked around and realized almost everyone in the room, especially his father and grandfather, were giving her a look. “He wouldn’t want this to tear us apart. We should see this not as an ending, but as a new beginning.” Carrie had to hold Michael down so he didn’t stand up and say something. Luckily he had been on guard since that holding her arm too tight incident, but he was still really annoyed. Did she honestly just say this was a new beginning? There was no new beginning! She sat down. Michael thought about going up, but decided in his state of anger he didn’t really want to. Besides, what would he even say? Derek had no desire to go up, even though he knew he should have. Once no more people wanted to go up they ended the funeral. Zac sensed more family tension, and he was right. “She’s right, Michael,” George told him as they all got ready to leave after the viewing. “We shouldn’t let this tear us apart, especially more than we already are torn apart.” Michael just shook his head. “I don’t know why Dallin took his life, but I’d like to know.” “I don’t know either,” George sighed. “I had talked to him just a few days before, and he seemed fine. He’s was 360
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telling me about how you came over and how annoyed he was that you were trying to brag about your perfect life. I tried to tell him your life was far from perfect, and I was sure that wasn’t why you came, but he didn’t seem like he wanted to listen to me. Then we ended our conversation with him telling me something about doing something with mom.” Michael stared for a minute, and then suddenly turned to George. “You don’t think he took his life because of something to do with me, do you?” he asked in worry. George gave him a surprised looked. “You honestly think that, Michael? Of course not. Don’t try to blame this on yourself. We all know Dallin had depression issues. He gets them from mom. She has terrible depression issues. He just took it too far one night. He was always venting to me about how miserable his life was and how he wasn’t married. Look around you. His family was all he had. It had nothing to do with you.” Michael wasn’t sure if he believed him. They had talked about it just days before he took his own life? He was sure it had something do to with him. What if he was already depressed, and when Michael came over to remind him about what he thought was a perfect life, he became even more depressed? “Michael, I repeat, it had nothing to do with you,” George said, reading his face. “If you start blaming yourself I might have to smack some sense into you. You are not responsible for his death. Don’t tell yourself that.” Michael sighed and then looked to his mother, who looked like she was staring off into space. He had to give her credit. She lost her oldest son and the only child that stood by her fully after what happened. He couldn’t blame her for being upset, but if what George said was true about her depression, 361
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had she ever considered suicide? He couldn’t let a repeat happen, and bad things always happened when he lost his temper... He suddenly rushed back over to George. “Hey, how bad is mom’s depression? Would she ever consider suicide like Dallin did?” George shook his head. “Michael, will you calm down? Mom’s not going to commit suicide. Trust me; if mom was suicidal at all it would have come up before now. She’s been through a lot.” “Yeah, because of her own actions!” “I’m not arguing about this, Michael,” he said in annoyance. Michael took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. He couldn’t take this out on an incident bystander. He had done that enough in the past couple days. He didn’t need to add to it. Carrie seemed on edge as they headed back to the hotel, but she refused to tell him what was wrong. “It doesn’t matter, Michael,” she told him with a tone that clearly said she was mad and he needed to be worried. “What is your problem? Was it something I did?” “I said it didn’t matter,” she repeated, sounding even more irritated. He decided to let it go, and he would bring it up again when the kids weren’t in ear shot. Surely she planned to tell him. Carrie wasn’t good with keeping something bottled up when she was irritated. Just as he suspected, she blew up on him once they got back to the hotel and were in their own rooms. “Do you have any idea what could have happened?” she asked. “I’m not afraid of my mother,” Michael stated. “I wouldn’t have let her do anything to me or the kids.” 362
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“This isn’t about your mother,” Carrie spat. Michael was surprised by this. “Then what is it about?” Carrie suddenly took off her jacket to reveal her arm, which now had a red mark on it from where Michael had grabbed her. Michael stared for a minute, trying to comprehend what he was looking at. “Carrie, I’m so sorry,” he said, suddenly putting his hands to his face. “I was just so angry and mad that she had told you to leave, when I definitely thought it was just as much my business as it was yours. I lost my temper and didn’t realize I was hurting you.” She put her jacket by on, looking like she wasn’t buying it. “Michael, what it comes down to is you have a terrible temper. I knew that when I married you, and I knew all about your past with Zac, but you still have a problem. You say you’re not like your mother, and you’re most definitely not, but you have a horrible temper, and if you don’t do something about it someone is going to get hurt again. Remember how you said bad things always happen when you lose your temper? You’re right. This is proof of it. I hope you know if my mother sees this mark she’ll go ballistic and demand that I leave you. And my father. Well, he most definitely won’t be happy about it.” “I’m sorry,” Michael repeated as he sat down on the bed. “Maybe you should just leave me. That way I won’t end up hurting one of the kids.” Carrie sighed. “Michael, please don’t act like this. I know you just lost your brother and got into a fight with the mother that abused you all those years, so your emotions are going crazy right now. No one ever said I was even considering leaving you. I’m just mad. It doesn’t even hurt, and I’m sure it won’t stay like this for more than a day. It’s not a bruise.” 363
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Michael stared down at the floor. Was she only saying that because she knew leaving him would be stupid? This was exactly the reason why Amy left him, except he wasn’t famous then so she had nothing to lose like Carrie did. Well, Carrie could get a lot of money if she left him, but she wouldn’t have the status anymore. She most definitely did have something to lose. Carrie seemed to know that he was having depressing thoughts and sat next to him. “Michael, stop acting so glum. I know you’ve been through a lot, but you also have a lot to be happy about. You’re starting to worry me.” Michael kept staring at her arm, lost in his own thoughts. Did he really leave a mark on her? Was he really that much of a monster he hurt his own wife? Even though he had a terrible temper with Amy, he never touched her. He did a lot of damage to their apartment, though, scaring the heck out of her. Everyone seemed to be scared of him. As a last resort to making him feel better Carrie snuggled next to him. He was a bit surprised, but happy that she was willing to get so close to him after that. He in turn wrapped his arms around her. He tried to tell himself he hadn’t lost anything from that incident, and that was what was important. He still had Carrie, he still had his children, and he still had his brother and his father. Losing Dallin was hard, but he needed to move on. He just needed to watch his temper. Bad things always happened when he lost his temper...
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Chapter Thirteen
Hurt and healing
T
he next morning Michael woke Zac and Kyle up bright
and early, and they didn’t seem to appreciate it. “Dad,” Zac said as he put the covers around his face. “Go away. It’s seven in the morning. You’re not honestly expecting us to leave this early.” “Not to go back home,” Michael told them. “I have some things I need to do in California so I can shut my stupid manager up, but you’re going to do something with Carrie.” Zac gave him a look as he took the covers off his face. “What are we doing with Carrie? Are you trying to do another 365
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one of you ‘bonding moments’ things? Can’t you just let us sleep? We can do something with Carrie in Rhode Island if you insist on it.” Michael sighed. “Well, I guess I should probably tell you this. You’re not ‘doing anything with Carrie’ really; you’re actually going to go see your mother.” Zac suddenly sprang up in shock, while Kyle sprang up in excitement. “Really? Kyle asked. “Yep,” Michael said with a smile. “She had asked to see you guys, and I figured since we were down in California anyway why not do it after the funeral? Like I said, I have things I have to do today so I can’t come with you guys, but I’m sure everything will be fine with Carrie.” “This is not what I signed up for,” Zac said, now out of bed and on his feet. Both Kyle and Michael gave him a weird look. “You didn’t sign up for anything, Zac. You’re my son, so therefore you never get the choice on signing up for things,” he said with a smirk. Zac didn’t seem like he appreciated that. “You can’t make me go and talk to her. I’m staying right here.” Michael sighed. “If you insist on being difficult about this, I will be more than happy to drag you.” Zac gave him a look, as if daring him to try. “Zac, I’m not asking for much. In case you didn’t notice I just went and had one of the most awkward family funerals ever. If you're honestly going to be difficult about just having to go and visit your mother for a few hours for something not related to the death of a family member, you have your priorities wrong. How about we switch places?” “I don’t even know why that funeral was so awkward except that you hate your mother for an unknown reason.” 366
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Michael shook his head. “How about you show me how old you are, Zac, because right now you’re actually like your ten. Be an adult and talk to her. Really, you’ll live. I’m not asking you for much.” “Now you’re playing the adult card?” Zac asked in shock. Michael smiled in reply as he left the room. Zac could see there was no way out of this unless he wanted to act like a ten-year-old. That was very tempting, but he didn’t want his dad to rethink him having a car, and other problems might arise if he’s difficult about it. “Mom is a great person, Zac,” Kyle said as he searched for some clothes to wear. “You might just realize that when you go to talk to her.” “Until you know what I’ve been through with her, shut your mouth,” Zac barked. Kyle gave him a look as he headed to the bathroom. He totally was acting like a ten-year-old, and he wondered how this would turn out. Carrie kissed Michael goodbye as they all left. “Thank you, Carrie,” Michael told her. “It means a lot you’re willing to deal with my ex-wife while I’m off doing record stuff. I’m sure not a lot of men could say their wife was willing to do that.” She smiled. “I would do anything for you, Michael. Besides, this should be pretty painless. I’ll just drop them off and then do some things around California.” “Zac might throw a fit,” Michael pointed out. “He’ll live,” she said with a smile as Michael smiled back. That’s what he loved about Carrie. She was nice, but not too nice to not have an awesome personality.
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Zac seemed to doing deep breathing exercises as they headed there. Carrie tried to make him feel better but talking him through it, but he wasn’t really listening. “Even though she hasn’t seen you in so long, Zac, she’s your mother and I’m sure she loves you.” When Zac didn’t reply Carrie just gave him a look and decided to give up. There was clearly no getting through to him. She was following an address Michael had given her. Within ten minutes they were in front of some really old apartments. “Is this really it?” Kyle asked, kind of shocked. “I’m pretty sure,” Carrie said, double checking the address. “Aren’t these those old apartments behind the factory?” Zac asked. They all turned around and sure enough saw the factory in the distance. “I didn’t realize she lived right behind the factory,” Carrie said, a bit surprised herself. “Well, I guess it’s good to know you guys can see her when we come out to visit the family, being it’s so close to where we usually go.” Zac was staring, now having second thoughts about not putting up a fight like a ten-year-old. Why was she living in a place like this? An alarm bell was ringing, but he seemed to be the only person who was worried. [][][][][][][][][][][][] Amy was barking at the boys and Jamie to make sure the house was spotless. They all looked annoyed and were practically only pretending to clean at this point. Even Mark looked like he was trying to slide by and not actually clean.
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“It’s not good enough,” Amy said in frustration as she stared at the walls. “No matter what we do it just won’t come off.” “I told you these were old apartments, Amy,” Mark told her. “Don’t stress it. It’s clean enough.” “No, it’s not. I was always a clean freak when we were married. If he sees the apartment like this he’s going to judge me, and I don’t want that.” “Weren’t you the one who said he didn’t care even though he was famous and wouldn’t judge?” “This is different,” she said in frustration. Mark sighed. “Alright, I get it. You’re nervous about seeing him again. I would be too. He became a famous celebrity while you’re living with a loser like me in a dump like this. I don’t blame you for being nervous. You shouldn’t care what he thinks, though. What matters are your children, not him.” “You are not a loser,” she mumbled. He smiled, but he didn’t get the chance to reply because the doorbell suddenly rang. “Do you hear that?” she said as she started to freak out. “That’s them.” Mark shook his head and went to go answer the door, seeing that she was freaking out too much to do it herself. He was surprised not to see Michael Lonewell at the door, rather a middle aged woman. Then he saw the kids that surrounded her and figured this must be Michael's nanny or something. “Hello,” he said with a smile. “I’m Mark Hopes, Amy’s husband.” “I’m Carrie Lonewell, Michael’s wife,” she said as she shook his hand. Mark was a bit surprised by this. “Oh, well, now I feel stupid. I was thinking you were their nanny.” 369
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Kyle and Emily found this funny while Carrie was a little taken back. “We don’t have a nanny. The child should always be raised by the actual mother, and if you’re so engulfed in Hollywood life you think you don’t have time to take care of your children fully, then you must live a sad and depressing life, even if you are rich.” Mark wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Well, good to know you don’t let fame bring you down,” he said with a smile as he invited them in. Zac took a look around her small and dirty apartment. Didn’t she ever clean this? It looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in years. “You’ll have to excuse Michael,” Carrie told them. “He’s doing something for his new album that’s coming out and wasn’t able to make it. I’m actually not going to stay. I’m going to take my three children to do some things around Sacramento. I’m sure it would be less awkward without me hovering over your shoulder anyway.” “What?” Zac asked in shock. “You’re seriously leaving us alone?” “Oh, poor Zac,” Kyle mocked. “What do you think mom’s going to do to you?” “He’s right, honey,” Amy said as she came over, not believing she was actually seeing his face after all these years. “I would never hurt you.” It was crazy to think about how big he got. He was now a young man with a tall and well-built body, just like his father, but he still had her brilliant blue eyes. Zac wasn’t even making eye contact, like he was afraid she would be able to see through his soul and wouldn’t like what she saw. She then focused her attention on Kyle, who seemed much happier than Zac to be here. “Hello, sweetie,” she said 370
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with a smile. She wrapped her arms around him, and he didn’t try to pull away. Zac shook his head, thinking he was such a pansy. She then went up to Carrie, seeming to forget about Miranda. “Thank you for bringing them. It really means lot to me, and I’m glad I get to spend some time with them after so long.” “No problem,” she said with a smile. “I hope everything goes well with the kids, and if you need to get a hold of me for any reason they all have cell phones with my number.” She nodded with a smile. By this time the boys were all out, and they all looked rather jealous when she mentioned the word cell phone. Then again, just by looking at what they were wearing, they could tell these guys had a lot more money than them. It made them mad to think about. Amy turned to Tyler, who looked rather afraid to be here. When he saw that she was staring at him he took refuge behind his mother. Carrie laughed. “Sorry, Tyler’s a little shy.” “Oh, it’s fine,” Amy said. “I just can’t believe how much he looks like Zac. Have you ever seen a picture of Zac when he was a child? They look almost identical.” Carrie nodded. “Yes, I have. I suppose they both look like their father, but nothing like us, sadly.” Amy laughed. “I’ll let you go now. Have fun, and if you need any ideas on what to do here let me know.” “Oh, it’s fine. I grew up here.” Amy nodded, rather surprised. If they both grew up here why did they live so far away? She didn’t ask this, though. Carrie waved goodbye and then was gone, leaving them alone with Zac, Kyle, and Miranda. 371
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“Hello, guys,” Amy said with a smile. Zac didn’t return it, but Kyle and Miranda did. Although with Miranda it looked like she had to try. “How about we start with introductions?” By this time all the boys were out, and they all seemed to be staring at them. Zac didn’t want another brother. Kyle was hard enough to deal with as it was, and he still didn’t know much about Tyler. Now he was staring at three new brothers. This day just kept getting better and better. “This is my husband, Mark,” she said as she pointed to Mark. Mark smiled. “It’s nice to meet you guys. You’ll have to tell me all your names and ages so I can get a good image in my head.” Zac stared him down. He already didn’t like him. He wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t. Kyle was the first to jump up, which was no surprise. “I’m Kyle,” he said. “I’m fourteen.” “Kyle is the one who stayed with me for most of his childhood,” Amy explained. Mark nodded. “Well, nice to meet you, Kyle. Hopefully we’ll be seeing you more often, and I’m sure your mother would like that.” Amy smiled, thinking she would love that. “I’m Miranda,” Miranda said rather low. “I’m twelve.” Jamie seemed to jump when she heard this. Although she used to know Miranda, she had certainly missed having a sister. Having three brothers just wasn’t the same. Zac hadn’t noticed her before. Where did she come from? “Miranda is the youngest; other than Jamie, of course.” Mark nodded, figuring this was the one she said she adopted but didn’t want to say anything as not to hurt her feelings. 372
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“And I’m Zac,” Zac mumbled. He didn’t bother to give his age. “Hello, Zac,” Mark said, seeming to study him. “Wow, if looks could kill,” Jason mumbled. Zac had been eying Mark in not a very nice way. “If Zac’s looks could kill, I would have been dead long before now,” Kyle joked as Zac gave him a look. “Hey, this is a little weird for all of us, guys,” Amy said. “Let’s not jump down each other’s throats.” “It’s fine,” Mark said as if it were nothing. “She’s right; this is a little weird for all of us. I understand if Zac's a little edgy about this.” This guy was just too nice. What was he trying to hide? Keith was nothing like this. “These are my sons,” Mark said with a smile as he pointed to the boys. “Jason, Josh, and John,” he pointed. “What’s with the J thing?” Kyle asked. “Are you making fun of our names?” Jason said, sounding offended. “Enough,” Mark barked. This was not going the way he hoped. “And I’m Jamie,” Jamie said happily as she stood up proudly. “I’m eleven, and I’m your guy’s sister.” Zac seemed unchanged by this while Kyle and Miranda seemed to smile. “Well, of course you’re our sister, Jamie,” Kyle said. “Do you remember me?” “Yes!” she said happily. “I remember Miranda too, but not him,” she said as she pointed to Zac. Zac looked the other way. Of course she didn’t remember him. He was never around.
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“Well, we’re making new memories now,” Amy said, seeing the look on Zac’s face. “It doesn’t matter who you used to know and who you didn’t.” Zac thought she was being way too nice. She was clearly putting on a show. About ten minutes later they all seemed lost in their own conversations. Kyle was talking to Jason and Josh about something, Emily and Jamie were catching up, and John and Zac seemed to be off in their own little corners. Amy came up to Zac, and Zac sensed trouble. “Hello, honey,” she said with a smile. Instead of answering her he just looked down, indicating he didn’t want to talk. “Can we just talk? I know you don’t want to talk to me, and you have a good reason why, but you must understand I would do anything just to get you back in my life. I love you so much, and Keith didn’t change that. I’m sorry things turned out the way they did, but just know you weren’t the only one hurt by what happened. We were all hurt. Now I just want to make everything right again.” “You haven’t seen me since I was four,” he said in anger. “Does that mean anything to you, or is this just some game to you? You’re my mother. Mothers are supposed to be there for their children throughout their entire lives, not just when they’re little and then when their older. There’s a huge gap you’re missing there.” “I know,” she sighed, "and I understand what it’s like to feel like someone abandoned you, but I never meant to abandon you. Things just happened, and I tried to assure myself you were fine and happy where you were at. If I could go back and change some things I would, but I can't.” 374
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“How can you possibly understand what it’s like to feel abandoned?” Amy sighed. “Zac, did you ever wonder about your grandparents on my side? Did you ever wonder who they were, or if they ever thought about you? Even if you were convinced I abandoned you, what about them? I mean if your father suddenly took off and didn’t see you for a while, don’t you think his family would do something? Would they abandon you too?” Zac gave her a confused look. “So your parents don’t care about both you and your children?” “Don’t care is a strong saying, Zac,” she mumbled sadly. “I think they care, but they practically abandoned me like you think I did you. I completely understand.” “Why did they abandon you?” he asked, suddenly curious. Amy looked like she didn’t want to talk about it. “Let’s just say I made some choices in life they didn’t agree with, and as a result they shunned me out of their lives.” Now he was really curious. Was she pregnant with him before she was married or something? He knew they had him very young, and they did get divorced... “Did you and dad get married because of me?” Zac asked, really wanting to know. His father had always told him he came after the marriage, but he probably wasn’t being honest with him since he didn’t want to hurt his self-esteem. Amy seemed taken back by that question. “Of course not, Zac. We loved each other. We were too young to know what love was, but we most definitely loved each other. I admit you came a little sooner than we expected, but we were very much married and planning on having children eventually when you came along.” 375
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“Then why else would your parents disapprove of your choices?” Amy wasn’t sure what to tell him. She didn’t want him to think she was lying, and her parents shunned him out of their lives because she was pregnant with him, but she also didn’t want to tell him the truth. They were making progress, and telling him the truth would most likely hinder that progress. It wasn’t like the truth was horrible, but there was probably a lot he didn’t know about her and her childhood that he probably wasn’t ready to accept just yet. “Zac, why don’t we talk about this later? Why don't we talk about you? What have you been up to all this time?” “You would know if you were a part of my life,” Zac mumbled. Amy sighed. “Please just talk to me. I’m not asking for much. What do you like to do in your free time? That’s a simple enough question.” Zac shook his head. “I like to play basketball,” he replied. She was happy, hoping they were making progress. “Basketball? Well, that’s wonderful, Zac. Are you pretty good at it? Are you on a team?” “Yes, I’m pretty good at it, and yes, I’m on my school’s team.” “I wish I could go to one of your games. I’m sure you’re amazing.” He didn’t want her to go to one of them, despite the fact he would love to have a parent that actually saw him play. His father couldn’t, as bad as he wanted him to. “Do you work hard in school?” she continued. “I guess. I mean I get decent grades.” 376
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“Of course you do, because I’m sure you’re very smart. With your father’s money you probably have a lot of opportunities normal children don’t have. Do you ever feel small having a famous father? If your father and I were still together when he became famous I’m not sure I could handle it. I like my quiet and simple life.” “Some days are better than others.” She laughed. Then she did something Zac totally wasn’t expecting. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug. He seemed a bit surprised, and then tried to get out of her grasp. “Hey, let go,” he said. She let go as he tried to get his jacket back in order. “I love you, Zac,” she said with a smile, and despite what you think I always have. I’m sorry things had to turn out this way, but things will get better. I promise.” Zac didn’t look like she cared about what she said as he walked away. She sighed, wondering what she could do to make this right. Nothing seemed to be working. Kyle soon came up behind her, looking like he was feeling a little jealous of the lack of attention. He always loved attention as a child. If he felt she was giving it anyone else more than him he would whine and complain until he got his fair share. It wasn’t that he had to have attention all the time; he just didn’t like the idea of someone getting more attention than him. She wondered how that was holding up with his father, being that she was sure he favored Zac just a bit. “Hello, honey,” she said with a smile as she gave him another hug. “I missed you. I’m sorry it’s been so long, but things will get better. How have things been with your father? Do you guys get along alright? I know you told me you 377
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understand why I sent you with him now, which is great, but I would hope you guys get along like a father and son should.” Kyle shook his head. “Well, I know he cares about me, but he majorly favors Zac. For the first year before Zac was there he focused all his energy on getting me to like him, and then the second Zac came back suddenly I turned invisible. Now he tries to ask about my life, and we live together so obviously he knows a lot about it, but sometimes I feel he honestly doesn’t care, and he’s just trying to play Mr. Nice Guy.” Amy sighed. “Kyle, your father has always loved you. It’s like the situation with me and Zac. I love him more than anything, but things are complicated since he stayed with his father for so long. I’m sure it’s the same with you and your father. You also have to remember Zac and your father lived together for the longest time and shared this special bond. Even if your father doesn’t realize he’s favoring Zac and making you feel invisible, he still loves you just the same.” Kyle shook his head, not sure if he believed her. She gave him another hug, so thankful to finally have him in her arms again. Nothing could ruin this perfect day for her, even if Zac was being difficult. Zac didn’t really like Jason and Josh. They seemed a little too immature for his liking. “And then he just stood there like an idiot,” Josh said, just getting finished telling a story. Zac showed absolutely no emotion even though it was supposed to be funny. “Well, what crawled up your butt and died?” Jason asked irritably. “You seem like a jerk to me.” “Having to deal with immature teenagers that are supposed to be my age wasn’t on my list of things to do today.” 378
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“Then what was on your list of things to do today?” Jason questioned. “I’m betting being a jerk to everyone around you who had nothing to do with whatever reason you’re upset was.” “You don’t seem to get it. My mother abandoned me when I was four, and now I’m being forced to come here and pretend like I like her. I don’t like her and never will.” “She abandoned you when you were four?” Jason asked, seeming surprised. “I bet she didn’t tell you that, did she?” Zac mumbled. “Well, if it’s her your mad at, why are you taking it out on us?” Zac seemed to study him. Maybe he wasn’t as immature as he thought. “Do you guys have like a ton of money?” he asked, motioning toward Zac’s jacket and the iPhone he could see sticking out of his pocket. Zac smirked. “Well, didn’t my mother tell you? My father’s famous.” Jason and Josh both stared at him. “What do you mean?” Jason asked. “Oh, I mean my father’s actually famous. I’m sure you’ve heard of Michael Lonewell. He’s a pretty popular country singer who’s made it high up there. He’s my father.” “Whatever,” Jason said in disbelief. “Amy had less than us when we met her, and that’s saying something. There’s no way she used to be married to someone famous.” “They were married a long time ago, long before he was famous.” “Impossible,” he stated, still not believing him. “I don’t care if you believe me or not.” With that Zac walked away, leaving Jason and Josh to keep staring. 379
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Amy was busy showing Kyle off to Mark. Zac was trying to pretend like it wasn’t bothering him, but he was doing a poor job at it. “Kyle was the best child a mother could ask for,” she told Mark. “He truly kept me sane on really bad days, and we were really close.” Kyle smiled in agreement while Zac just shook his head. Who admitted they were actually close to their mother? “Well, hello, Kyle,” Mark said with a smile. “It’s great you and your mother were so close. It’s sad you guys haven’t seen each other in so long, but that should be changing.” Kyle nodded enthusiastically as Amy randomly gave him another hug. “I can’t believe it’s been so long,” she said, tears starting to fill her eyes. “I’m so sorry, and if I could go back and change some things I would. Don’t think I ever forgot about you guys. I thought you would hate me if I tried to come back after so long.” “We don’t hate you,” Kyle told her. “Well, Zac has his own issues, but I know Miranda and I don’t hate you.” She smiled, her eyes still filled with tears. Surely Zac didn’t hate her. He was just confused. He was a sixteen-yearold teenager who hadn’t seen his mother since he was very young. Hate was a strong word. She just had to prove to him how much she cared about him and hopefully someday he would at least let her back into his life, even if he never fully forgave him and put her up to the high standard he put his father. Michael had raised him and did a great job at it. She fully understood that; she just wanted him to realize she was his mother just as much as he was his father, and she wanted a chance. By a few hours’ time Jason, Josh, and Kyle had really hit it off. They were talking and making plans to meet up again the next time he was in California. Miranda and Jamie also 380
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seemed to enjoy each other’s company, and Jamie seemed a bit upset she couldn’t stay for much longer. “Promise you’ll call,” Jamie told her with sad eyes. “I promise,” Miranda said with a smile. Jamie had really missed having an older sister. Technically she had two, but she didn’t like to think about Taylor and Hayden. Zac and John, on the other hand, both seemed to be keeping to themselves. Zac would only mumble replies when someone, especially his mother, asked him something, while John seemed to sit in a corner and take himself away from the rest of the world. “What’s up with him?” Zac asked Jason as he pointed to John sitting by himself in a corner. “John’s not really a people person,” Jason explained. “He talks, but not nearly as much as the rest of us do. He doesn’t like to talk to people about certain things unless it’s my dad. They have this special bond that I’ve never understood.” He sounded like Tyler, but not quite as bad. Of course Tyler’s bond was with Carrie, but even she said she didn’t know much about him because he still never talked to her or tried to communicate things other than what he needed. Carrie was right on time, and Zac couldn’t have been more grateful. “Hello,” she said with a smile as Mark answered the door. “I’m back. I hope I gave you guys enough time.” “Oh, it was fine,” Mark said with a smile. Kyle looked kind of sad to leave, but Zac was rushing out the door. “Goodbye, Zac,” Amy said with a smile before he could fully leave. “I love you, and I hope to see you again soon.” 381
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Zac suddenly turned around, looking like he didn’t like what she said. “Listen,” he said as he suddenly took a step back into the apartment and came toward Amy. “You can’t change back time. I don’t care how much you say you wish you could, because the fact of the matter is you can’t. I am now sixteen years old. Do the math. That’s twelve years you weren’t a part of my life. You won’t be seeing me again soon if I have anything to say about it.” He walked out, leaving everyone in the room to just stare. Mark suddenly turned to Amy, whose eyes were now filling with tears. Carrie looked appalled. “Zac!” she shouted to him, but he was already down the hallway. “I’m sorry,” Carrie told Amy. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He doesn’t usually act like this.” “No, I deserve it,” Amy said through tears. “I’ve been a terrible mother.” She then walked down the hallway of her apartment, leaving Mark to just sigh. “I think we’ll get going now,” Carrie said with a fake smile. Mark nodded as Miranda and Kyle followed her out. Mark sat there staring at the floor. Now he had to find some way to cheer Amy up, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to do that with what just happened. [][][][][][][][][][][][][] When Michael got back that night he seemed to be in an even worse mood that Zac was. Carrie recognized this from the slam of their hotel door. “Is everything alright?” she asked him. “You would think he would give me a little bit of a break since my brother just died and all,” Michael said, “but all 382
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that man can think about is money. He literally yelled at me all day about how irresponsible I was being and then said I couldn’t go back home until this thing was finished. When I told him off he threatened to sue me. Can you believe it? I say go ahead and try. Any judge in their right mind would be stupid to take his side.” Carrie sighed. “Michael, can’t you go one meeting without picking a fight with your manager? I know he’s a jerk, but you shouldn’t feed into it, and then dealing with him might be much more bearable.” “I’m just sick of dealing with him. I wished I could get a new manager, but I don’t want to tick him off and have him do very bad things. I wouldn’t put anything passed him.” She shook her head as he sat down on the bed next to her. “How was taking the kids to see Amy? Did everything work out? Did the boys seem to enjoy it?” Carrie sighed. “Well, Kyle seemed to love it, and Amy was nice enough, but Zac didn’t feel the same way.” Michael shook his head. “Well, I knew Zac would have some difficulties. Did he at least make progress? I know this won’t get better overnight, but the visit should have been the first step.” “Let’s just say Zac made her cry as he was walking out.” Michael stared at her for a minute. “What? What did he say?” “He told her she was never there and if he had it his way they wouldn’t be ‘seeing each other soon’ as she told him as we were leaving.” Michael sighed. “I don’t know what to do with that kid. If he doesn’t like her then fine, but that doesn’t mean he should make her cry, and even if he did say something he regretted 383
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that made her cry, he could at least apologize or make her feel better. As much as I can’t stand my mother I would apologize if I ended up making her cry. Besides, I don’t see why that kid thinks he has it so hard. I see no reason he can’t at least try to make amends with his mother. He’s just being a baby about this.” “Perhaps you should talk to him.” “Yes, I should,” Michael said as he suddenly stood up. Carrie stood up as well, looking concerned. “I said talk to him, not yell at him.” Michael seemed to ignore her as he headed to Zac's hotel room. Carrie sighed and then followed him, hoping he would keep his temper. She was sure this wasn’t the type of situation that needed yelling. Michael came into his room and saw Kyle and Tyler watching TV. Carrie was kind of surprised by this, since Tyler didn’t really do anything related to electronics. They were watching some kind of crime show that Kyle really seemed to be enjoying. She couldn’t tell whether or not Tyler liked it, because he had a pretty good poker face that he put on all the time. Michael was too busy thinking about Zac to even realize this was strange. “Guys, I need to talk to Zac.” “Alright,” Kyle said, not taking his eyes off the TV. “Which means I want you out,” Michael said with a look that Kyle couldn’t see. “Oh come on. Why does Zac getting in trouble have to mess with my TV time?” “You can go watch TV in our hotel room,” Carrie told him. He seemed satisfied by this and turned it off, then left the room. Tyler sat there for a minute, and then followed him. 384
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Zac came over, sensing he was in trouble but not really caring. “Well, let me have it,” he said a little too casually. This seemed to anger Michael even more. “Is this some kind of game to you?” he asked. “The way you treated your mother was inacceptable. I know you don’t like her, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat her like that. Does it make you feel good to make a woman cry? Like it or not, she’s your mother, and that status will never change, because she gave birth to you.” “I don’t want a relationship with her, alright!” Zac shouted. “Nothing you guys can say or do can make me like her, and I will never forgive her like you think I should.” Michael and Carrie both stared at him. “You don't understand. She abandoned me when I was five. I don’t care if she’s seen me since then; she still left me. A mother shouldn’t do that to her son.” Carrie looked like she wanted to say something, but Michael beat her to it. “You’re wrong, Zac,” he told him. ` Zac gave him a look, not wanting to hear whatever it was he was about to say. Was he honestly going to stand up for his mother? “I do understand. I know what it’s like for a mother to abandon you. At least your mother cared about you but just let complications keep you apart.” Carrie gave him a look, wondering what he planned on telling him, while Zac just stared at him. “What are you talking about?” he asked. “How can you possibly understand?” Michael sighed. “Zac, have you ever wondered why you don’t have a grandmother on my side?” Zac studied him. So this was about his mother? “Well, I assumed she was dead, until I met her yesterday.” 385
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“No, she’s very much alive. We haven’t spoken since I was a teenager.” “Why? Did your parent’s divorce cause something?” “I was the reason my parents divorced,” Michael said, looking him dead in the eyes. “Zac, my mother was very emotionally and physically abusive. Do you remember when you were a kid and I lost my temper on you? That was because of her. That was how I grew up. I always promised myself I wouldn’t let history repeat itself, and I would give my children what I never had. Don’t say I don’t understand what you’re going through. Your mother was a whole heck of a lot better than mine." Zac stared at him in shock. “Your mother was abusive? What happened? Did you just have to live with it until your parents finally divorced? Did George and Maybell play a part in it? Did you just stop speaking to her and live with grandpa for most of your teenage years?” Come to think of it, Zac hadn’t recalled him saying anything about his teenage years. He knew that was when he met his mother, and he knew he had him when he was nineteen, thereby still practically being a teenager, but he never mentioned much about his teenage years. He assumed he just didn’t really ask the right questions. “Zac, I don’t want you think poorly of George and your grandfather. They’re good people, and I’ve already forgiven them for what happened in the past. If I can do that than you have no reason to think lower of them. Don’t think differently about them after I tell you this, but no, I didn’t live with your grandfather during my teenage years. My father never hurt me, but he did ignore what was going on, and in the end he lost me. I was put into foster care when I was twelve, and that was where I spent my teenage years. My father divorced her after I 386
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left, only a week too late. I saw George and Maybell around, and I always considered them my family, even after I left.” “How can you do that? I mean how can you look at someone who did something like that to you and just pretend like it never happened? Aren’t you bitter? If you really did live in foster care, aren’t you mad that you never got a family? How can you look at them and tell someone he’s your brother or your father?” “They’re my family and your family, Zac. That won’t change. George kept me sane when I was a child, and Maybell always had something nice to say and made me feel so much better. Your grandfather made a mistake, but I’ve forgiven him. That’s what important, Zac: forgiveness. If I can forgive my father for ignoring what was going on and making me spend half my childhood in foster care, you can forgive your mother for not being there for most of your life. You forgave me for what happened when you were a child and being sent to live with Maybell, right? That same principle applies to this.” Carrie gave Michael a smile, thinking what he said was so touching, while Zac just sat there like he didn’t know what to do with himself. His father was in foster care? Why was he just now finding this out? He would never look at his grandfather and George the same way again. One thing was for sure; that hit him hard. How could he sit here and continue to tell his father his mother was terrible and he didn’t want to forgive her when he had it MUCH worse than he did? Then again, he never said he forgave his mother, because they hadn’t spoken in so long. “I get that you’ve forgiven your father, and I’ve forgiven you, but what about your mother? It was much easier to forgive your father than your mother, right? Your father was nice, unlike your mother, and you guys continued to talk after 387
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everything that happened apparently, but you haven’t spoken to your mother in years. Why haven’t you forgiven her yet? I get she put you through a lot, but if we’re really comparing our situations, I had much more reason to forgive you than I have to forgive my mother, just as you did.” Michael stared at him. He had a point. “Well, Zac, if you really feel that way perhaps we can make a deal.” Both Carrie and Zac stared at him, wondering what he was getting at. “Your right, it has been a while since I’ve spoken to my mother, and I never did forgive her, so I’m kind of preaching to the choir. Let’s say I agree to speak to her again? Will you promise to call your mother and apologize for the way you acted, and then at least give her a chance?” Zac stared at him. “You would honestly talk to your mother again, considering she actually abused you and put you through all that, just so I could give my mother a chance?” “George has been bothering me about talking to her again for years. He keeps telling me that nothing will get better if I continue to pretend like she doesn’t exist. I’m not planning on becoming good friends with her or anything, just as I don’t expect you to, but she’s your mother, and as much as I’m sure we both want that status to change, it won’t.” Carrie looked at Michael in shock. “Michael, are you sure you want to do this? I mean I know she put you through a lot and you don’t have to listen to George.” “Aren’t you always saying how important forgiveness is and, you always tell me I’m an awesome man for forgiving my family?” “Well, this is different. I mean the woman abused you. You’ve told me horror stories from when you were younger. What if she wants in the kid’s lives or something? I’m not sure I could handle that.” 388
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Michael sighed. “This isn’t about the kids; it’s about me. She doesn’t even have to know they exist. This will strictly be between the two of us, just as the thing with Zac’s mother will just be with the two of them.” Carrie nodded, although she still looked kind of nervous. She had never met the woman before, but she had no desire to. How could she look into the eyes of the woman that abused the man she cared about so deeply? How could she let him forgive her for doing the one thing a mother should never do to her children? Then again, she had a feeling Michael wouldn’t be forgiving her so easily. She knew he was bitter, and she knew that bitterness had only gotten worse over the years. “Dad, this is crazy,” Zac said. “Maybe you do understand, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re letting your own issues pass judgment on me.” “Zac, I knew your mother. We were married for five years, and we had two amazing children during that time. We were in love. You came after the marriage, so we honestly thought we were fully in love when we married, even though we were very young. She was nothing like my mother. She deserves so much more credit than you’re giving her. I understand you think she abandoned you, and I’m not trying to change your mind, but if you would just give her a chance, I think she would surprise you. You don’t know her story, and even I don’t know it fully, but I know she cares about you, Zac. You can’t deny that.” Zac looked down. Just because he cared about her doesn’t mean she didn’t mess up. She couldn’t change time. She couldn’t take back all those years she wasn’t there. Then again, if his father was honestly willing to talk to his mother again, what reason did he have to complain? 389
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“Promise me, Zac,” Michael told him. Zac sighed. “Fine, I promise I’ll apologize and talk to my mother against my will.” He shook his head. Did his speech not mean anything to him? But that was good enough. He had a feeling that even though Zac was stubborn, he would soon figure out he was right. As Michael went to bed that night, the reality of what he just promised Zac came to him. He had to apologize to his mother... he was suddenly rethinking this but knew he couldn’t back out. He had to do it. He had to show Zac anyone could be forgiven, even if they really didn’t deserve it. [][][][][][][][][][][][] Amy was still crying by time nightfall, and Mark still hadn’t made any progress in making her feel better. “Amy, he’s just a confused teenager,” Mark told her. “He doesn’t know what to think except that you were never there. You just need to give him some time. This was only the first meet. He’ll have time to think over what he said, and then things will get much better. You shouldn’t tell yourself this is the end of the line.” Amy shook her head, still crying. “I would give anything for him to at least talk to me. He’s acting like I’m just some woman that was never a part of his life. He’s right, but I badly want to fix things.” “And you can. Like I said, just give him some time.” Jason suddenly came in, looking like he could care less that Amy was crying. “Those rich snobs need a lot more than time,” he grumbled. “They need a life lesson, and unless 390
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someone gives that to them they’re not going to change. I guess Kyle has some hope, but Zac doesn’t. Don’t give your hopes up.” “They are not rich snobs,” Amy barked. “Just because someone has money doesn’t make them a bad person. I’m not going to deny not having money makes it so much easier to stay humble, but having money doesn’t have to be a bad thing.” “They flew here on a private jet paid for by their apparently famous father,” Jason pointed out. “If that doesn’t spell out ‘they’re rich snobs and could care less about anyone but themselves’ then I don’t know what does.” “Really?” Mark asked in shock “It doesn’t matter,” Amy said with a look in Mark’s direction. “They are my children and no amount of money is going to change that. I don’t think they’ve changed that much since I’ve seen them, the only exception being Zac, but I haven’t seen Zac in so long, of course he’s going to change.” Mark was suddenly nervous about this. They had that much money. He loved Amy and wanted to see her happy, but were they getting way over their heads here? He didn’t know about this before they married, and he felt he should have. Having a famous ex-spouse wasn’t something he ever imagined would happen. But telling this to Amy would surely make her angry. She wanted nothing more than to see her children, but it didn’t matter. He had custody of them, and they lived all the way out in Rhode Island. He wouldn’t be seeing them that often. “You’re absolutely right, Amy,” he said with a smile. “Just give Zac some time. I’m sure he’s a great boy, being he’s related to you, and in time he’ll want to talk to you again, especially now that he knows he can.” 391
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She smiled at him and then looked down. She hoped more than anything Zac came through. Things might have been a little crazy, and she had made so many mistakes throughout her difficult life, but she hoped at least this one mistake could be fixed. She would give anything to fix it.
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Acknowledgments
Everything Happens for a Reason is a book that has taken me years and years to write, going through version after version, character after character, bad grammar after more bad grammar. This version is the best (and hopefully the last). Because of its many versions, I have many people to thank. First off I would like to thank my family. Without them this novel wouldn't be what it is today. All of them played a role in character creation and plot, whether they tried to or not. I would especially like to thank my sister, Erica Bourdon, for originally coming up with Zac's character and part of his story, and also for reading almost every version of Everything Happens for a Reason that I wrote. I would also like to thank my parents, because even though you didn't understand all the fuss about writing you tried your best to support me. Along with my family I would also like to thank some friends. I would like to thank my best friend, Afton Hanson, for all the support she's given me, for reading an earlier version even though it sucked, and for giving me free books through her mother. I always like free books. I would also like to thank Allie Hickle for being the first person ever to read Everything Happens for a Reason, for editing my terrible grammar at the time, and for giving me many ideas that eventually led to this final version. The last person I want to thank is my sister, Mandy Bourdon, for believing in me when I didn't even believe in myself. Even if I never become a famous author, you always made me smile telling me that someday you were going to brag about having a famous sister.
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About the Author
Nicole Bourdon was born in Salt Lake City, Utah, and was raised nearby in Tooele, Utah. She's been writing since she was in middle school and has never put the pen down since then. During her early years she played the flute, and that's when her love of music began. She later played the piano. She has a love for poetry as well as for music, which allowed her to write a book like this with so many written lyrics. Nicole currently lives in Logan, Utah and attends Utah State University. She's majoring in secondary English education with minors in history and librarian studies. 396
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Also By Nicole Bourdon
A Better Life Black Ice Chasing Rain Cursed Escape Inside and Out Pieces Sad Sound
Coming Soon Everything Happens for a Reason: The Song In Your Heart, Book Two
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Money, Fame, and Family Michael Lonewell has nothing to hide, as he tells his fans. He lives the perfect life with a house on the hill and a large family. He's at the top of his career and would never be caught in a scandal. Despite all this, he hides a deep secret; a secret that makes him toss and turn at night. He tries to forget it, because after all, it wasn't his fault, but sometimes it's hard just to bury things in the past. Zac convinces himself he has the perfect life. He has a famous father and lives the life every teenager can only dream. But deep down he's crying, and he knows that it won't go away. No amount of money can fix his problem, and sometimes he feels as though he's being picked on with having a famous father that's so strict. He should be going to parties, getting everything to his heart's desire, and ordering people around. But things are far from like that, as his father tries to keep their lives as normal as possible. As the reader will soon discover, Zac and Michael both play a double part in this story about family, friends, fame, and forgiveness. 399