Wednesday, 6 May, 2020
Pakenham
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Ex-firefighter pleads guilty to child porn
Supporting local business in lockdown
Peter Moody back on track at Pakenham
Pakenham-Goon - a rivalry for the ages
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Phil’s fightback By Garry Howe Restless nights weren’t uncommon for Phil Anning back in 2011 as he battled his inner demons. One night, fed up with the tossing and turning, he got up, walked to the kitchen, selected a carving blade from the knife block and walked outside with the intention of ending his life. He says he was sulky and anti-social and thought his behavioral changes and mood swings were becoming a burden to wife Donna and son Jack and that was the best way to stop his - and their - pain. As he stood in the cold air howling his eyes out while figuring out the best way to perform the fatal act, he felt a rubbing sensation on his leg. It was the family dog, Heidi, who sensed something was wrong. That unexpected contact caused Phil to pause and reflect. He and the dog had never really connected to that point, but he figured that if she cared enough to intervene, others would be worried about him as well. He walked back inside, slid the knife back into the block, went back to bed and didn’t speak of that event for months. Phil Anning cuts a familiar figure around Pakenham and surrounds. He grew up in a house in Main Street, spent his working life in retail, predominantly locally, and has been heavily involved in local sport. He has been president of the Pakenham Cricket Club since 2008 and was team manager of the senior football side for eight years. The many people who know him would describe him as being jovial, content, popular and well connected. Words like depressed and suicidal would never come to mind. Yet that’s where he found himself a decade ago. Phil’s battle came to the surface in 2010. He was having a lot of trouble sleeping and went to the doctor hoping to be prescribed some sleeping pills. “The doctor wasn’t keen to hand the pills over willy-nilly and he wanted to get to the bottom of why I wasn’t sleeping,” Phil recalled.
Phil Anning has opened up about his mental health battles, assuring those impacted by the Covid-19 lockdown that there is light at the end of the tunnel. “We spoke about a few issues and he said: ‘Mate, you may have depression’. “I had not given that a thought at all.” Phil was referred to a counsellor, who drilled down ever more and started to ask about his behavior and energy, both of which were wildly inconsistent. They came to the conclusion that was it - he was suffering from depression. Phil worked for Woolworths at the time and he can’t speak highly enough of their response to his diagnosis. They immediately arranged for ongoing counselling and gave him Wednes-
day afternoons off for that purpose. It transpired that a trigger for his depression was being made redundant as a result of the Wesfarmers takeover of Coles two years prior. He had been with Coles for 34 years - the only job he had after school - and had worked his way up to regional manager by that time. Initially, the redundancy didn’t worry him. “My theory was that Wesfarmers paid that much for the company that they could do what they liked. I was a victim of their restructure, but that was fine. I had six months off and went on a holiday.”
It wasn’t until he got back into the workforce, with the rival supermarket giant, that it started to play on his mind. “I still had friends working there and I started to wonder why I was made redundant instead of them. What did I do wrong? “It takes time to trigger something in your head and you start to have self-doubts about your ability, which messes with your self-esteem and can cause anxiety and stress.” Further counselling drilled down even further to his family life. One day the discussion centred around his father Jack, who died of cancer in 1983, aged only 57. It transpired that in the 27 years that had passed since his death, Phil had never been to visit his resting place in Springvale Crematorium. “When he was dying I didn’t visit him because I didn’t want to remember him as a frail man with cancer,” Phil explained. “After 27 years, I was feeling guilty about not paying respect to my childhood hero. All these things tend to build up over time.” Phil says the key to recovery is being able to talk openly and honestly about the problem. Part of the reason he agreed to open up about his struggle with the Gazette was to assure the many people who find themselves out of a job as a result of the Covid-19 lockdown that there is a path forward. “I have been open and honest about it since I was diagnosed,” he said. “If anyone asked me if I was going okay I would tell them, but haven’t taken a full page ad out in the Gazette to let people know. “It’s amazing when you talk to people about it how many others are in the same boat. “If me coming out publicly and talking about it helps one person or family, then it’s all worthwhile. Hopefully it opens their eyes to the fact that they’re not alone and that this is a deep problem within our society.” Phil says there can be skepticism about mental health and a lot of people see it as an excuse. Continued page 8
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