Stonnington Boroondara Kids - Winter 2024

BEDTIME BATTLES Kooyong mum takes on GOGGLEBOX’S ADAM DENSTEN Preparing parents with BREAKING THE CYCLE Violence survivor

About Us Us

Soak up the gentle winter sun

WINTER is synonymous with indoor activities, especially when kids are in the mix.

We’re drawn to play centres, museums, shopping centres, cafes, and our own living rooms.

The cooler, often-wet weather has us reaching for puzzles and crafts, grabbing popcorn and snuggling under a blanket to watch a family movie, or venturing into the kitchen alongside our littles to warm up inside and out.

Maybe you and the kids spend a day in your pyjamas and dressing gowns, build a blanket fort, or set up an indoor picnic.

These are all great options but don’t disregard the outdoors just because of the weather.

Stepping out the front door and feeling the chill on your cheeks can be invigorating for kids and grownups alike.

CONTENTS

IT’S YOUR LIFE

Steve Biddulph: How we give children calm, happy minds

PAGE 4

Kooyong author’s son inspires book tackling bedtime battles

PAGE 5

A century of unstoppable women at Strathcona Girls Grammar

PAGE 5

Roola Boola festival returns to Stonnington

PAGE 6

Gogglebox couch potato Adam Densten talks podcasts and parenting

PAGE 7

Kids in the Kitchen: Macadamia and coconut fruit crumble

PAGE 8

Survivor gives hope to kids stuck in family violence shadow

PAGE 9

Glow Winter Arts Festival celebrates 10 years

PAGE 10

Alleviating nappy stress in cost of living crunch

PAGE 11 11

HEALTHY LIVING

Fiona Gilbert: Mindfulness matters for kids

PAGE 12 12

Vision Camberwell Optometrists: Tackling ‘myopia epidemic’

PAGE 13

Meet the team at Bill Cutler Optometrists

PAGE 14

Take a deep breath of that fresh air and soak up the silence at your favourite playground, or take a drive to explore a new play spot.

Teaming with kids and the accompanying squeals and shouts during the warmer months, parks and playgrounds are near-deserted on many winter days.

Throw an old towel in the car to wipe any morning dew or rain drops from the equipment, rug up, pack a thermos, and let the kids expend some of their boundless energy.

Puddles are like magnets for littles, so invest in those waterproof pants, grab the gumboots and let them splash to their heart’s content.

The joy on their faces and excited giggles will be worth risking an extra load of washing - we promise!

For older kids, grab a magnifying glass or mini microscope and encourage them to take a look at the raindrops - or snowflakes, if you venture to higher ground - up close.

You could even challenge creative kids to photograph these natural wonders or recreate them with their favourite art medium once you’ve returned indoors to warm up.

So don’t hide indoors - swap your sun hat for a beanie, grab a coat, and soak up the gentle winter sun!

Let us know your favourite winter spots on our Instagram and Facebook pages, and reach out on socials or email if you have a story to share.

Stonnington Boroondara Kids magazine is a Star News Group publication.

Stonnington Boroondara Kids will be published quarterly prior to each of the school holidays.

Stonnington Boroondara Kids Cnr Princes Hwy and Army Road, Pakenham, 3810 PO Box 9, Pakenham, Victoria 3810 Phone: 5945 0666 Fax: 5945 0777

Editorial Melissa Meehan melissa.meehan @starnewsgroup.com.au

Casey Neill casey.neill@starnewsgroup.com.au

Photography Rob Carew Louisa Jones

Group Advertising Sales Manager Mandy Clark mandy.clark@starnewsgroup.com.au Phone: 5945 0608

Published by Star News Group Pty Ltd ACN 005 848 108.

Dr Optical: Keeping an eye on eyeball growth

PAGE 15 15

Mum on Oprah’s mind shares journey from PND to worldwide success

PAGE 16

Playroom Therapy: Thriving through play

PAGE 16

DENTAL

Wattle Park Dental: Emergency protocol for parents to protect young smiles

PAGE 17

EDUCATION

Strathcona Girls Grammar: Navigating the transition to secondary school PAGE 18

Erasmus Primary School: Aiming for excellence

PAGE 19

Genazzano FCJ College: Fostering future leaders

PAGE 20

Sacre Cœur: A leader in total development

PAGE 21

Encouraging literacy in Wesley College’s junior schools PAGE 24

Help at Hand’s first aid assistance PAGE 24 24

ACTIVE KIDS

Mini Maestros: Superfood for kids’ brains PAGE 25

Ready Steady Go Kids: Empowering young athletes and scholars PAGE 25

PARTY TIME

Slumber Tribe: Cosy parties perfect for winter PAGE 26

Reptile Encounters: Create memories will real global impact PAGE 26

Dads in the kitchen take the cake PAGE 27

Fizz Kids: The ultimate party experience PAGE 27

REALITY BITES

Mum’s roadside birth emergency an ‘empowering’ experience PAGES 28-29

Mum shares her traumatic toilet birth PAGE 30

Couple turns child loss pain into a unique space to grieve PAGE 31

Woon Ooi is not your everyday dad… PAGES 32-33

BOOKS

Mum, teacher and author on helping students find their career path PAGE 34

Author shares anxiety battle to build understanding PAGE 35

Discover new book releases for all ages PAGE 35

Publisher/Managing Director, Paul Thomas. All material is copyright to Star News Group Pty Ltd. All significant errors will be corrected as soon as possible.

Picture: Louisa Jones

Fostering calm, happy minds

A tiny baby lies sleeping in their cot, alongside their parents’ bed.

We don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, but it is just one of around 820 babies born every day in Australia, and 385,000 born somewhere in the world.

When we see a new baby, we can’t help but send off a little prayer that it will have a safe and happy life.

The sheer vulnerability of a newborn stirs our hearts, as it should.

Psychologists are finding out some incredible things about small babies and their journey to adulthood, and especially about what happens between bubs and their mums, dads, or grandparents, depending on who does the raising.

folks (especially old folks) love to peer into your baby’s eyes, make cooing sounds, and say things like “who is a lovely boy?”.

Researchers find the same things all over the world. We talk to babies in high pitch (which they hear best with their undeveloped hearing), we swing or sway with them in our arms, which signals to them that they are in human arms and safe, and we hold them close to our hearts, where they can hear the heartbeat they knew in the womb. We gaze into their eyes, which are focused at just the right distance to do this (most of the more distant world is a blur for a small baby).

If you are reasonably safe and able to focus on your baby - and especially if you have seen people doing parenting with enjoyment and playfulness - then it is not too hard to enjoy and interact with your little one.

If you are lonely, had a traumatic birth experience, or have a rather uptight nature, then the messiness of babies can bring you unstuck.

No society in the world except our own messed up modern one leaves young parents so alone, and in need of other people to care for us when we find it hard to relax into new parenthood.

It used to be that people thought very little about babies other than to feed them, keep them warm, and stop them from crying.

But today we are very worried about the infant’s first year because it looks like these are the weeks and months when some big things are decided that will affect them for life.

Whether they will grow up to be kind and able to make good relationships; be able to stay calm and manage stress; and especially that they won’t have some terrible outcome, such as being suicidal or someone who is violent and hurts their partners, or even kills them.

The neuroscience world is discovering, through the magic of brain scanning technology, that in the second six months of a baby’s life, their ‘right cerebral cortex’ - or the right brain, to put it more simply - does not just grow like some little cauliflower in the veggie patch, even though it does rather resemble that vegetable.

It grows, not just from food and the passage of time, but from interacting with the right brain of (usually) Mum!

Our right brains are the playful, affectionate, and loving sides of us, and they especially show up in our facial expressions, the little noises we make around babies, and the teasing or soothing we do to make them alternatively giggle or fall asleep.

The process of growing your baby’s right hemisphere is completely unconscious; it simply happens when you play with them, gaze at them, soothe them, and - hopefully - have a few family or friends around to share this kind of fun and give you a few hours’ break.

If you travel with a baby you will find, especially in countries where people have not felt the chill of consumer capitalism too much, that

When the conditions are rightbecause someone is making good eye contact and is responsive in their movements and sounds - a baby begins to experience “I am here!” and “I am noticed” so they develop a sense of self.

A sense of self, of being stable and worthwhile, actually grows in the wiring of the right brain.

They experience that when upsetthere is a pathway back to feeling OK.

Babies get upset by almost everything - hunger hurts in their tummies, loneliness frightens them, loud sounds or strange voices.

Our soothing of these things builds neural pathways so that in a year or two they know “I can calm down, I don’t have to panic”.

Adults who do terrible things are often in a state of acute panic and disintegration, whereas the people who come to help - the ambulance and medical and hopefully police and counsellors who help to heal - bring an internal sense of calm and love.

They can do this because their mums, dads, or grandparents showed them love and playful affection back when they were tiny.

Parenthood is the most important thing humans do.

We don’t protect young parents or give them enough time or care.

But if you at least know what you are doing is of immense value, you can stick up for your right to do it and give it your whole heart.

Steve’s new book Wild Creature Mind will be out in August from Pan Macmillan.

It’s Your Life It’s Your Life

Winding Down works wonders

DOES your little one have a hard time winding down for bed?

Not only does Penny O’Loughlin feel your pain - she’s done something to help you.

The self-published Kooyong author wrote Winding Down after often solo parenting sons Fletcher and Harry, now aged 9 and 7, during the Covid lockdowns.

“They are bright, passionate balls of energy that bring me so much joy,” Penny said.

“I needed that one-on-one time to really understand Fletch.

“He is an extremely bright and passionate boy who sees the world with very different eyes.

“We’d walk to the park and he’d wear his tuxedo and no shoes.

“He’s taught me the important things, how to really see things in the moment.

“He really stops and smells the roses.

“This energy and brightness were and still are very hard to wind down at the end of the day.”

Penny tried audiobooks, essential oils, meditations, music, relaxation sounds, teas, warm baths, candles, weighted blankets, massage, and more.

When she couldn’t find the right book to support both her and Fletcher through their bedtime battles, Penny wrote it.

“It’s rhythmic, almost like a meditation,” she said.

“As it’s read, it calms the reader too.

“We overschedule ourselves, with the rapid pace of the world.

“It’s about taking a moment to pause and just be.”

Penny’s background is architecture and landscape architecture, and she’s worked as a landscape designer for years.

“But I’d always go to the children’s book section,” she said.

“I love the simple tales and parables that can explain complex topics simply and with comedy.

“I used to read the kids lots of books.

“I did a children’s book author course

at Abbotsford when I was pregnant with my second son.

“I started writing when I did the course, so I wrote and wrote.

“I felt like I needed to do this for him,” she said.

trying to calm down.

“I felt like this book worked for its purpose.”

STRATHCONA Girls Grammar celebrated its centenary year in March, marking 100 years of developing intellectually curious, optimistic, and life-ready young women.

It began as a school of just 17 students in 1924 and today is one of Melbourne’s leading girls’ schools.

Founding principals Henrietta Hughes and Florence Mabel Livingstone believed women had the right to access the same level of education offered to their male counterparts.

As part of the festivities to mark the milestone, Strathcona will unveil a new artwork by alumna and UK-based sculptor Hannah Northam.

The sculpture will reside in the school’s new early years courtyard and will be a representation in bronze of a

“It’s so impossible to get published. I sent them off and I got rejected by everybody.

So Penny started down the path of self-publishing.

“It’s coming out in December and it’s called Bud and Buzz.

“It’s about a garden.

“Bud is a little flower that’s yet to bloom and he sits in the shadows, yet to

rote and wrote. ossible and I got rejected by his tarted g. n egative comments about g he said.

“I heard, in the back of my head, some of the negative comments about self-publishing but I had to get a thicker skin really,” she said.

“There’s nothing that makes the kids see themselves on the page and have a laugh, because it is quite funny - they’re at the top of the trees and they’re upside down.

they’r r e

“He gets his day in the sunlight, but he has to endure the wind and rain.”

Penny is also working on Cartwheeling Sally and Jumping Jack

be seen. but t d an a d also on Jumping Jack Jim.

“It’s about two little kids who don’t sit

o t t

She developed an author website and bought a stash of books.

e thhe o oped a stash of books. st having the confiddeence to about

s still,” she said are e

“I feel like all the books are about

“I had to be brave enough to take the steps to get to where I wanted to go.”

“It’s now just having the confidence to get out and meet people and talk about it,” she said.

“It’s in a few bookshops around and is selling well.

“People are buying it for people who have new babies, as a gift, but also for children who are wound up and have heightened energy at the end of the night.”

Fletcher is “pretty chuffed” to have inspired a book.

w arounnd and is e peopple who bies, a also for have nergy the ok.

“He says, ‘Mum’s an author, Mum wrote a book about me’,” Penny laughed.

Mum’s an author, Mum about me’,”

“It reminds me of a very difficult time but a time that we worked really hard, and a time where there was massive growth for myself and my son, too.

“It’s the result of hard work - and not just the writing hard work, but the personal hard work.

“It worked for me and I hope it will work for others.”

timme at we worked har r d d, here e yself and my son, too. ult g the e d work. for me and I it wiill rs.”

She read Winding Down in local kindergartens and early learning centres during Book Week last year.

“They now use it after playtime just to bring the energy back down and to switch off,” she said.

in n local s and early lear niing g year t to rgy e said. r is

A publisher picked up Penny for her next book, this time inspired by her youngest.

Strathcona girl from the school’s foundation year in conversation with her modern-day counterpart.

Strathcona will also launch coffee table book A Century of Memories, A Future of Promise - a pictorial history showing the school’s evolution from its

“This is them m day

“This is heroing them saving the day.

“It’s veers r e and it’s r eally for the Sallys.”

“It’s rhyming verse and it’s really for the cartwheeling Sallys.”

Order from pennyoloughlin.com m

Order Winding Down from pennyoloughlin.com.

A century of unstoppable women

modest beginnings in a Victorian villa in Scott Street, Canterbury, to its contemporary facilities across three eastern suburbs campuses.

Authored by Cathy Gowdie, the accompanying narrative records the history of the school and the community around it, decade by decade.

Told in the voices of Strathcona students over the years, it is filled with memories and anecdotes.

There will be a gala dinner at the NGV and the opening of a time capsule buried in 1993. A new capsule will replace it.

Strathcona’s eleventh principal, Lorna Beegan, said there was a tangible feeling of excitement in the air as the school embarked on its centenary year.

“It’s not every day that a school turns 100 and this will be an anniversary to remember,” she said.

“Strathcona has played a role in shaping the lives of countless young women so it makes sense to use this milestone to reflect on our storied history, and the accomplishments and successes of our students and alumnae.

“Looking into the future, Strathcona will maintain its commitment to providing a nurturing and empowering learning environment for young women, and inspiring the next generation of female leaders.”

Strathcona’s early learning centre, junior school, and Years 7 to 12 are located in Canterbury, while the Year 9 Strathcona students attend the Tay Creggan campus, a historic building on the Yarra River in Hawthorn.

Principal Lorna Beegan.

Penny with her children, Fletcher, 9, and Harrison, 7.

Picture: Rob Carew

It’s Your Life It’s Your Life

Roola Boola festival returns

ROOLA Boola Children’s Arts Festival will return to the City of Stonnington these winter school holidays, from Tuesday 2 to Friday 12 July.

On offer will be performances, workshops, free events, and a range of unique activities around Stonnington that will ignite children’s imaginations.

Chapel Off Chapel’s curated program will feature four performances plus a variety of workshops, from magic classes to hip-hop dancing, charm bracelet making, and everything in between.

The Little Mermaid by Victorian State Ballet follows the narrative based on the story by Hans Christian Andersen.

Expect an inspiring, impacting, entertaining, and memorable experience for all ages on Wednesday 3 July at 10.30am and 1pm.

Make Some Noise! by The Listies is a comedy concert for humans aged 4-400.

Join the maestros of mirth, Rich and Matt, as they belt out a bunch of songs with the LOLs turned up to 11.

Will they be in tune? Almost. In time? Not quite. In order? Definitely. Can Rich dance? Let’s find out on Wednesday 10 July at 10.30am and 1pm.

A Little Bit of Blue by Little Wing Puppets is an interactive detective show for families, told with puppetry. As well as helping to unravel a mystery, the audience will learn about the extraordinary habits of the

Australian satin bowerbird and why they are so fascinated by the colour blue.

The story begins with strange disappearances from Mrs Mavis Hooley’s home.

Can the audience help to solve the case? Find out on Friday 5 July at 10.30am and 1pm.

Garden Party by ARC Circus is a new circus and physical theatre show for children and families with a kaleidoscope of acrobatics, dance, magic, and live music.

The bees are in a sticky situation, but some new friends and new tricks might help them get unstuck.

This new show explores sustainability, teamwork, and community spirit on Friday 12 July at 10.30am and 1pm.

For the first week, Chapel Off Chapel will be hosting a new and free event called Oasis by award-winning group The Indirect Object.

Explore a luminous landscape of organic formation with intricate petals and tendrils rustling in the breeze.

This year’s Beyond the Chapel satellite activations include more than 10 well-known venues and arts institutions such as Prahran Market, Stonnington Libraries, Chadstone, Duldig Studio, Music Chipmunks Playgroup, Hello Music Studio, and more.

Call 8290 1333 or visit www.roolaboola.com.au for more information.

By Casey Neill

Empowering new dads

TWO professional couch potatoes are helping new dads to find their feet.

Gogglebox favourites Adam Densten and Matty Fahd are bringing their candid commentary to fatherhood in podcast The dads and the Docs.

They’re sharing practical tips and stories to help prepare new parents with help from medical professionals.

Matty has sons Malik, 4, and Lyon, 1, while Adam has a two-year-old daughter, Celia.

“She turned up earlier than expected,” he said.

“The Denstons are known as being very punctual people.

“(My wife) Rach started mat leave on a Monday. On the drive home, she called me and said ‘she’s not really moving as much as she previously had’.”

Rach went in for a checkup and was surprised to discover she was in the very early stages of labour at 36 weeks.

Celia was in a breech positionbottom first rather than head down - so doctors didn’t want the labour to progress.

Rach called Adam to the hospital, and Celia was born 45 minutes after he arrived.

“The other four weeks would have been nice,” he laughed.

“She’s awesome.

“From day one she’s been a really good sleeper.

“She was sleeping through the night from seven or eight weeks.

“She’s super happy.

“She’s in her Bluey era at the moment.

“I intentionally didn’t watch any of it before she was ready so I could enjoy it with her.”

Celia changed Adam and Rach’s lives in ways he expected, and in many ways he didn’t.

“The big one was how our relationship changed,” he said.

He and Rach had been together six years when Celia arrived.

“You have six years of basically only focusing on each other to something else coming in and taking more than half of your focus,” Adam said.

“I’m really glad that Rach and I did heaps of travel in our twenties and saw lots of things and achieved some of the goals we had.

“I’m glad that we got all that out of the way.

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to be 22 and have a kid.

“I’m glad we waited a little bit longer. It made us the people we are.

“You can be ready to have a child but you can never be prepared to have a child.

“It’s going to be the most difficult thing you do but it’s not insurmountable, which it can feel like at times.”

That’s where the podcast came in.

“The thing that we found was the resources out there for dads are all for dads of teenagers or kids at school,”

Adam said.

“We wanted to produce something that was digestible and easy and simple but also evidence-based.

“This is not an anecdote or some story that’s been passed down.

“And dads don’t want a lecture, they just want the information.”

Adam and Matty wanted to highlight the support available, from sleep and lactation consultants to the maternal and child health and PANDA hotlines.

“Just knowing that those resources are out there can make a difference,”

Adam said.

He said the stereotype was Mum doing all the research and passing on what she’d learnt to Dad.

“We’ve found that dads want to be more engaged and have the answers themselves.

“The big bumbling idiot dad is a bit of a dumb stereotype.

“If you want to learn how to swim you’ve got to get out of the boat.

“If you want to be good at changing a nappy, you’ll be shit at changing a nappy for a while but you’ve got to get into it and try.

“The more you are engaged, the better you’ll be.

“The more informed you are, the better time you’ll have.”

Adam wants to make parents - but particularly dads - feel less alone.

“Whatever you’re thinking has been thought before,” he said.

“A whole heap of research out there says the more hands-on a dad is, particularly early on in a child’s life, the more coordinated a child will be and the more resilient they’ll be.

“You want to produce a better version of yourself.”

Season one covers pregnancy, labour, the hospital stay, and the first week, month, and three months at home.

The first episode on each topic features a chat with an expert, and in the second, Adam and Matty chat about their takeaways and personal experiences.

“We wanted people who were really well regarded and spoke really well, and were still involved in some level of research so they were up with modern science and birthing,” Adam said.

Dr Scott Shemer covers everything dads can do to help their partner during pregnancy, while Dr Jonathan Nettle talks listeners through labour.

Paediatrician and neonatal doctor Dr Brendan Chan shares what to expect when you’re in the hospital room with your new family.

Dr Golly guides dads through the intimidating first week at home, Dr Cheng talks through what is and isn’t normal during the first month, and Dr Billy Garvey covers the mental health side of parenting.

Adam said the data showed an equal split of men and women listened to the podcast, “even though it’s a show by dads to get dads more engaged”.

Adam and Matty are planning for season two to feature targeted episodes, like a sleep-focused chat featuring a sleep consultant.

“We’re working it out and open to feedback,” he said.

What’s one thing Adam wishes he knew before having a baby? A tool to help prevent those day-destroying nappy blowouts.

“Nappies with the wings - I just was not told that you need to pull those out,” he said.

“I was only pulling out the frilly bits.”

His favourite nugget of wisdom delivered in the podcast’s first season counters the ‘love at first sight’ narrative often espoused by new parents.

“Billy Garvey has a great line: when you first saw your partner, did you fall instantly in love with them?” he said.

“It’s OK to let the relationship develop.”

As a bloke aged in his thirties, many of Adam’s mates are also having children and turn to him for advice.

“I just say ‘listen to my podcast’ and they say ‘I can’t be bothered’ and I say ‘fair enough’,” he laughed.

“People are afraid to tell you that some of it’s going to be a bit s*** because they don’t want to rain on your parade.

“I like the shit sandwich method.”

He tells them something really great, delivers something to look out for, and then rounds out the chat with another positive.

“The most helpful thing I think is just saying ‘reach out to me if you’re struggling’ and also reaching out to them during those first weeks,” Adam said.

“Say ‘I don’t expect you to reply to this, but if you need 20 minutes, I’m on the other end of the phone’ or ‘I’m coming over to drop food off’.”

Adam Densten and Matty Fahd.

Rach and Adam with daughter Celia.

Go nuts for this fruity crumble

ith

in the kitchen

with Lucy Stewart

IS there anything more comforting on a cool winter evening than curling up on the lounge with a bowl of warm fruit crumble cradled snugly in your lap?

I have such fond childhood memories of this dish – my parents are English so we’d often spend Christmas holidays in the UK where a crumble was always on the ‘pudding’ menu.

Not only is my macadamia and coconut fruit crumble super easy to make – kids of all ages will enjoy getting their hands into the mixing bowl and squishing all the crumble bits together – it’s also a dessert that gets bonus points for doubling as a nutritious breakfast.

You can use any stewed fruit for the base. I’ve gone with two pantry staples of apples and frozen mixed berries here, but pear, plum, and rhubarb also work well and nectarine or peach are perfect in the summer.

Stewed fruits are great for kids because they’re easy to digest, promote the growth of healthy bacteria, and enable regular bowel movements. Apples are especially healing and soothing for the gut thanks to the pectin found in their skin.

I’ve replaced the traditional crumble topping with a mix of almonds, coconut, and beautiful Aussie macadamias that are grown just up the road from me – a combination that’s naturally sweet and full of nourishing fats and protein to leave you feeling sufficiently full and satisfied after one bowl.

And if you’re lucky enough to have any left over for breakfast, it’s delicious served cold with a dollop of coconut yoghurt.

Macadamia and coconut fruit crumble

Serves: 8 – Prep time: 10-mins – Cook time: 30-mins

Ingredients:

Base

■ 4 apples, cored and diced

■ 500g frozen mixed berries, thawed (preferably organic)

■ Juice of 1 orange (you’ll need the zest too)

■ 1 tsp vanilla extract

■ 1 tbsp pure maple syrup

Crumble

■ 1 cup macadamias, roughly chopped

■ 1 cup almond meal

■ 1 cup flaked almonds

■ 1 cup shredded coconut (preservative-free)

■ 3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

■ 1 tbsp pure maple syrup

■ Zest of 1 orange

■ ½ tsp cinnamon

■ ¼ tsp sea salt

Well Fed Kitchen is a range of healthy snacks for kids that you can make at home.

Created by Nutritionist and mum, Lucy Stewart, they’re made with only real wholefood and plant-based ingredients – no additives, nothing artificial, and without nuts, dairy, soy and wheat.

Well Fed Kitchen provides an easy snack alternative to the sugar-laden, healthy pro- cessed options, guaranteed to fill kids tummies, satisfy their hunger, provide a steady release of energy and some essential growing nutrients too.

www.wellfedkitchen.com.au @wellfedkitchen_snacks

Instructions:

1. Preheat the oven to 180 degrees

2. Put the apple, orange juice, vanilla extract, and maple syrup into a saucepan over a low heat and cook until the apples are soft but not mushy, about 5 minutes.

3. Transfer the apples and cooking liquid into a pie dish or baking tray, then top with the frozen berries. Set aside while you make the crumble.

4. To make the crumble, place all the ingredients together in a large mixing bowl then use your hands to rub the oil and maple syrup into the dry ingredients until it resembles a clumpy crumbly mixture.

5. Sprinkle the crumble mixture over the apples and berries and bake for 30 minutes or until the crumble is cooked and golden. Keep an eye on it as the nuts will catch and burn easily

6. Serve warm with coconut cream or ice cream.

Picture:

It’s Your Life Your Life

Stepping out of the shadow

By Casey Neill

A young male survivor is giving hope to children stuck in the shadow of family violence.

Conor Pall, 20, is determined to use his lived experience to drive change in several ways, including writing The Shadow that Follows.

“I wrote the book when the shadow was really big and scary, so when I was in Year 11 and 12, when I was really going through the impacts of family violence,” he said.

“Someone called it bibliotherapy. It was very therapeutic writing the book.

“I don’t want what happened to me to continue to happen to children and young people.”

Conor, the youngest Victorian Victim Survivor’s Advisory Council member, said one in three women and one in nine men experienced family violence.

“Ninety-seven percent of violence in Australia is committed by men, towards women, towards men, towards children,” he said.

“The common denominator in the story about family violence is men.

“We need to be supporting our young men to heal from family violence.

“You talk to perpetrators and the common thread is that they experienced some sort of violence when they were young.

“Hurt people, hurt people.

“What are we doing to support young boys today to tell them this behaviour is not acceptable in our society?

“There’s no time for tiptoeing around.

“We can’t continue to frame this as a women’s issue.

“It hasn’t worked.

“It’s not violence against women, it’s male violence. It’s male-perpetrated violence.

“With the next stage of the reforms in Victoria, particularly, men and young boys have been identified as agents of generational change.

“For us to break the cycle and stop family violence in one generation, which is in line with the national plan, we’re going to need to bring men along to the issue.”

Conor said The Shadow that Follows was designed to be used with care and with a safe adult.

“It’s being distributed to schools and refuges in Victoria,” he said.

“It’s not a mainstream children’s book. It’s an educational resource.

“I wish there was a resource like this when I was a kid.

“I didn’t have the language to understand that what I was going through was wrong.“I didn’t have someone to tell me that what I was going through wasn’t normal.

“My schools weren’t having those conversations when I was going through family violence.

“It’s now embedded.

“They’re difficult conversations for teachers to approach.

“That doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile doing.

“If a teacher had asked me if I was OK, or noticed I’d been absent from school, I probably would have started my journey of healing a lot sooner.

“I was a class clown and would get in trouble a bit at school.

“Those behaviours are warning signs.

“Research shows that if kids are exhibiting challenging behaviours or unhelpful behaviours in the classroom, we can’t be punitive in response.

“We need to be respectfully curious and not just think because a kid’s misbehaving that they’re a bad kid.”

School was a safe space for Conor.

“That’s where I went to decompress,” he said.

“I remember instances of sitting in the classroom just watching the clock and counting down to when I’d have to go home.

“I was 9 or 10 going through those emotions and didn’t have anyone to talk to about those emotions.

“Get comfortable with having those uncomfortable conversations.

“We’re talking about lives.”

The Shadow that Follows includes the message that it takes one person to make a change.

“My mum was that one person that took a stand against the shadow,” Conor said.

“Others followed.

“The people I’ve had supporting me through the impacts of family violence have made me the young advocate I am today.

“Survivors make the best advocates.

“So often the common thread throughout our stories is you don’t have a voice for years.

“We suppress our emotions.

“When we have this space to heal and recover, people tend to want to watch out when we start to use our voice to make change.”

Conor received a Victorian Young Achiever of the Year Award in 2022 for his advocacy.

He’s now studying social work at RMIT University and hopes to pair this with a master’s in public policy with a view to working in policy.

A decade of winter Glow

GLOW Winter Arts Festival is returning for its 10th year, transforming Central Park in Malvern East for four stunning nights of immersive and spectacular illumination.

From Thursday 18 to Sunday 21 July, this free winter festival will feature newly commissioned artworks as an outdoor after-dark exhibition for all ages from 5pm.

Plus enjoy food trucks with tasty warm treats and piping hot beverages to warm you up.

Some of the eye-catching illuminated installations coming to Glow this year are:

Ephemeral Collection by Atelier Sisu

An immersive, light and sound temporary environment that aims to capture the concept of ephemerality and transience as a visual form: the bubble. Atelier Sisu communicates a feeling of transient beauty, and the need to live in the moment through the idea of the bubble.

Delicate Deliberations by Skunk Control Masters of emulating natural and

organic beauty, Skunk Control will create a site-responsive exploration of floral forms. This stunning work is comprised of 1000 incandescent blooms that will have a soft presence by day and soft illumination as the sun sets.

HEXADECA by Pulsing Heart

An interactive installation and invitation to be a conductor creating a musical score, in a unique multi-sensory experience.

As you literally spin positioned in bespoke glowing seats, portions of a musical score will be activated, only

revealing the soundscape in its entirety when every seat is occupied.

These are just some of the artworks to explore at this year’s festival. Grab your friends and family, put on your winter woollies, and venture to Central Park for Glow Winter Arts Festival this July.

Glow runs from Thursday 18 to Sunday 21 July in Central Park, 148 Burke Rd, Malvern East, illuminating nightly from 5pm to 10pm Thursday and Sunday, and 11pm Friday and Saturday.

Find out more via www.glowfestival.com.au.

Appeal for nappy stress support

THE Nappy Collective is helping parents in desperate need as cost of living pressures hit hard.

The community-based charity collects donations of new and leftover nappies - ones that little ones have grown out of or no longer need - and pass them onto community partners who support families in need.

It started with a group of mums who found a handful of nappies their toddlers no longer fit.

After considering what to do with only six nappies – Pass them onto a friend? Keep them for the next child? Throw them out? - they began to wonder if other parents were in a similar predicament.

“What if we were able to collect all these leftover nappies and distribute them to families in crisis or in need?” the group said.

“Collectively these handfuls of nappies could make a big difference.”

The group launched its first collection drive via Facebook in 2013 and received 1500 nappies within two weeks.

It has since expanded to more than 650 collection points across Australia and distributed more than 6.8 million nappies.

Minister for Children Lizzie Blandthorn and Albert Park MP Nina Taylor met with The Nappy Collective in May to hear about its work to build new community partnerships and expand donation points.

“Given the current cost of living pressures impacting many Victorian households, the work of The Nappy Collective is even more important with the charity establishing new community partnerships and nappy donation points across Victoria,” Ms Blandthorn said.

“Being a new parent is one of the most incredible, yet challenging experiences –and for Victorians experiencing vulnerability or in crisis, this work provides significant relief when they need it most.”

The Nappy Collective received $110,000 from the State Government in September last year, plus $100,000 in January this year to launch two new programs.

w of dible ng ians or in crisis, ides ef when most.” Collective ,000 n last year, in January this yeear to ew programs.

The School Collective and Corporate Collective will allow participants to contribute financially to The Nappy Collective while gaining education on nappy stress and wider social disadvantage through guest speaker presentations.

Research from The Nappy Collective shows that one in 10 Australian families don’t have enough nappies due to reasons outside their control, such as homelessness, escaping domestic violence, major weather events, or other emergencies.

Collective and Research Collective

healthy living healthy living Mindfulness matters for our young

By Fiona Gilbert

YOU might have heard the words ‘mindful’ and ‘mindfulness’ used in lots of different contexts: mindful living, mindfulness at play, mindful eating, to name a few.

But what does mindfulness really mean?

Mindfulness, or being mindful, is simply being aware of the present moment: paying attention to what is happening in the ‘now’.

Sounds easy, right? You would think!

But being mindful is a skill that takes time and practice, and for kids, learning this skill and applying it to their daily lives at a young age can have a profound impact on their overall wellbeing that will last a lifetime.

In today’s fast-paced society, children face more stress and anxiety than ever before.

The pressures of school, social media, and the general stresses of day-to-day life are all having a significant impact on children’s overall emotional wellbeing.

The statistics surrounding mental health in young people are concerning: according to a study by Beyond Blue, half of all the mental health conditions experienced in life will have started by age 14.

More than 75 percent of mental health problems occur before the age of 25.

Throughout 2020, 13.9 percent of children aged 4 to 17 years met the criteria for a diagnosis of a mental disorder and Covid exacerbated these issues.

But there is hope!

Today, adults and children are much more accepting and open to seeking help and support. Whether it is through seeing a doctor, psychologist, or counsellor, by meditating, participating in mindfulness practice, or being involved in a wellness program, it is much more common to talk about our feelings rather than conceal them, and this is certainly a step in the right direction.

Mindfulness is one important strategy that children can use to support their well-being.

Using mindfulness as a preventative tool rather than an intervention tool, and taking the time to practice mindfulness regularly, is extremely effective for children, as their

brains and bodies are still developing so they are much more open and accepting to forming new habits.

The positive outcomes of regular mindfulness practice have been well-researched, and children can experience a range of benefits including increased ability to regulate their emotions, improved attention and focus, a greater capacity to manage their reactions when faced with challenging situations, increased resilience, improved relationships, and a greater awareness of themselves and others.

While many believe mindfulness is a serious practice where people are required to sit still for long periods, this is not necessarily the case.

Short bouts of meditation can be just as effective as longer bouts. You don’t even have to sit still! Mindful moments can occur anytime, whether you’re out in the park, brushing your teeth, or taking your dog for a walk.

As long as you are aware and noticing what you are doing at that particular moment, you are being mindful.

The more the skill is practiced, the easier it will be to incorporate it into everyday life.

Mindfulness 4 Kids

Delivered by a qualified primary school teacher, ‘Mindfulness 4 Kids’ offers fun and hands-on classes, designed to support and equip kids with a toolkit of mindfulness strategies that can be used for life.

These classes are a fantastic opportunity for kids to learn and develop greater self-confidence, improve emotional regulation, increase resilience, and ultimately help kids to thrive in today’s fast paced society.

Prep to Year 2 Mindfulness Sessions, starting in Term 3 Weekly sessions, commencing Monday, 22nd of July | 4pm - 4.45pm

Camberwell Community Centre, Fairholm Grove, Camberwell $15 per class or buy a pack of 3 for $40

Year 3 to Year 6 Mindfulness Sessions, starting in Term 3 Weekly sessions, commencing Tuesday, 23rd of July | 4pm - 4.45pm

Camberwell Community Centre, Fairholm Grove, Camberwell $15 per class or buy a pack of 3 for $40

If we want to get kids to form these positive habits, making mindfulness fun and accessible can be much more effective than setting aside a designated time to practice.

Maybe you and your child could start today - when walking down the street, instead of mentally planning what’s for dinner, try to notice what is happening around you and talk about you what can hear, what you can feel, what you can smell with your child. It will only take a moment, but it could be the start of a new way of thinking.

Fiona Gilbert practices mindfulness.

healthy living healthy living

Tackling ‘myopia epidemic’

VISION Camberwell Optometrists are preventing children from needing stronger glasses.

Vision Camberwell is one of the leading practices offering orthokeratology, more commonly referred to as ortho-K - a revolutionary treatment to correct your vision while you sleep.

It is a safe, reversible, convenient, and non-surgical alternative to vision correction, giving you clear vision all day without the need for spectacles or day-time contact lenses.

It uses a specialised breathable contact lens that is worn only while you are asleep.

It is also one of the most effective treatment options to slow the increase of

short-sightedness (myopia) in children, with research supporting its myopiacontrolling effect dating back to 1980.

The first 20 years of life is the period of highest risk for the development and progression of myopia, leaving you with blurred long-distance vision.

Having myopia is not only inconvenient, but it also increases your risk of more serious eye diseases like cataracts, glaucoma, macula defects, and retinal detachments.

The world is experiencing a myopia epidemic, with predictions that 50 percent of the world’s population will be myopic by 2050.

Digital devices, increased screen time, and reduced outdoor play are key contributing factors to this short-

sightedness epidemic, according to Shonit Jagmohan and Jue Wang, of Vision Camberwell Optometrists.

Vision Camberwell has been operating in Camberwell for more than 50 years, and over this period has built a reputation as one of the leading contact lens practices in Victoria.

As the Fellowship Chair of the International Academy of Orthokeratology and Myopia Control (IAOMC) for the Oceania Region, Shonit Jagmohan finds many parents bring their children to Vision Camberwell because they want the best possible outcomes when dealing with their children’s vision.

According to Shonit, only being recommended stronger glasses by an optometrist is not best practice when

considering the long-term risks of short-sightedness.

Growing up short-sighted, Jue Wang has firsthand knowledge of the limitations of short-sightedness in active children.

According to Jue, many children don’t want to wear glasses and oftentimes won’t wear them when prescribed.

Ortho-K is also an effective treatment for long-sightedness, astigmatism, and difficult reading vision after the age of 40 years old.

It is also a great alternative to laser treatment.

To make an appointment, call the practice on 9882 5666 or book online at visioncamberwell.com.au

PILATES ACCROSS THE LIFESPAN

Sum of Us Studio is a wellness oasis located on High Street in Prahran. The lovechild of 4 dynamic health professionals with a passion for holistic, integrated, considered and excellent health and wellness care for our community.

We offer a range of modalities including Physiotherapy, Myotherapy, Massage, Dietetics, Exercise Physiology, Yoga and Meditation. As well as our greatest pride, We have a huge range of Pilates to suit each and everybody across the lifespan.

We select the best Physiotherapists, Clinical Pilates and Group Pilates instructors to deliver the most effective, interesting and fun exercise to people of ALL ages.

Our class offering includes and and

We are a warm welcoming community who value connection and authenticity bey ond all else.

Come & check us out!

Healthy living living

Meet the team at Bill Cutler Optometrists

BILL Cutler Optometrists, a cornerstone of professional eye care in Kew East since 1979, prides itself on being an independent family practice.

It merges the highest standards of eye examination with the latest diagnostic technology to provide personalised vision correction solutions.

The team’s mission is to ensure every patient receives premium spectacles and contact lenses tailored to their unique needs.

Bill Cutler, B.Sc. Optom (UniMelb) Practicing optometry is a deeply rewarding experience for Bill Cutler.

He takes immense pleasure in meeting new people and helping them improve their vision daily. With a keen interest in diagnostic processes and problem-solving, Bill brings a methodical and caring approach to his practice.

Outside the clinic, Bill is an avid enthusiast of historic motorsport.

He dedicates his free time to restoring cars from the 1970s and 1980s, combining his love for precision and mechanics in a hobby that brings him great joy.

patients and sharing her knowledge and experiences with

Melissa is committed to educating patients about their ocular health to ensure long-term healthy vision.

Bill Cutler Optometrists

Her professional interests lie in children’s vision and ocular disease management.

Melissa has garnered extensive experience working in regional Victoria, managing conditions such as diabetic eye disease, glaucoma, and macular degeneration, as well as paediatric optometry, including myopia and amblyopia management.

Outside of her professional life, Melissa looks forward to her next overseas holiday adventure, where she can explore new cultures and destinations.

At Bill Cutler Optometrists, the team believes in a holistic approach to eye care.

Its dedication to personalised service, advanced diagnostic capabilities, and continuous patient education ensures that each visit enhances patients’ vision and overall eye health.

Visit the team in Kew East to experience its commitment to exceptional eye care and see how they can help improve your vision today.

Melissa Ung, Doctor of Optometry (UniMelb)

Melissa Ung’s passion for optometry stems from a desire to help others achieve optimal sight.She loves meeting new

them.

Healthy living living

Eye growth intervention

ARE you or your partner myopic? Does your child spend a lot of time using screens? Does your child have limited opportunities for outdoor play?

These are all factors that can contribute to excessive growth of the eyeball in childhood.

Myopia control

Myopia, also known as shortsightedness, is becoming more prevalent among children.

The eyeball grows larger throughout childhood, just like every other part of your child’s body, and this is normal.

Problems occur when the rate of growth is excessive and the child becomes more and more myopic, and there is now plenty of evidence that our modern lifestyle is contributing to this excessive growth.

Left uncontrolled, increasing myopia can lead to various issues such as needing stronger glasses more frequently, difficulty in managing

activities without glasses, career limitations, and increased risks of eye diseases later in life.

Regular check-ups are crucial for early detection and, fortunately, treatments are available to slow down its progression.

Although it is difficult to fully control the tendency for excessive growth, to a large extent it can be mitigated by a number of different interventions.

Strategies to control excessive eyeball growth fall into four categories:

1. Lifestyle changes such as spending more time outdoors and reducing screen time;

2. Daily eye drops;

3. Special design spectacle lenses; and

4. Contact lenses, either soft daily disposable lenses or Ortho-K lenses.

By employing a combination of these strategies, the Dr Optical team can help maintain your child’s eye health and ensure they stay on track.

The accompanying image is a percentile growth chart illustrating the enlargement of an eyeball during childhood.

Ideally, the growth should remain below the pink zone and follow along these lines without exceeding them.

Measuring the length of the eye (axial length) serves as a valuable tool for predicting potential complications in the future.

Dr Optical, in Glen Iris, has the latest technology to measure the diameter of your child’s eyeball with extreme precision. Book an appointment today!

We combine the expertise of optometrists and ophthalmologists to offer patients a full spectrum or eye care services at a single location, from routine vision testing to the diagnosis and treatment of complex eye diseases. This collaboration between health professionals facilitates expedient access to a range of ocular treatments, helping to maintain good eye health and optimal vision.

Beyond children’s vision, Dr Optical is committed to serving all members of the local community with integrity and professionalism, to build lasting relationships.

Book an appointment and get the most out of your vision.

The practice is dedicated to providing comprehensive eye care, led by a team of skilled optometrists working in tandem with an onsite eye specialist.

This mum’s on Oprah’s mind

By Casey Neill

AN Aussie mum who counts Oprah among her fans says mindfulness saved her life.

Psychotherapist Jacqueline Yeats’ experience inspired her to help children learn and practice mindfulness through business Mindful and Co Kids.

Ten years ago she completed a mindfulness-based stress reduction course as treatment for postnatal depression following daughter Alexis’ birth.

“I could probably say it saved my life with the depression and anxiety I was experiencing,” she said.

“Once I healed from my depression I decided to go back to uni.

“My background is in youth counselling and psychology.”

Jacqueline researched the brain science of mindfulness, honing in on mindfulness for stress reduction in young adults.

“Mindfulness is just paying attention on purpose and in the present moment,” she said.

“With the world becoming so busy and with social media, there’s so much going on and so much stimulation for the brain to take on, especially for children.

“When I was going through my

research, the mental health stats were so devastating for youth.

“The biggest cause of disease is depression.

“I was really motivated to want to teach it to children.

“I worked with at-risk youths for 10 years. I wanted them to have these skills by their teenage years.”

Jacqueline started with her own child, who was aged 3 at the time.

“It was more like regulating her breath and we would do mindful movement like yoga,” she said.

“When she was overstimulated or having a tantrum I would just sit with her and come into the present moment with her and just breathe with her.”

Alexis is now 10 and “when she gets overwhelmed she will just stop and take a deep breath and regulate her emotions”.

Jacqueline moved on to teaching mindfulness and yoga classes for kids.

“I was having parents coming up to me after two sessions and saying ‘What have you done to my child?’,” she said. They were using deep breathing, getting along with their siblings, and doing better in school.

“I thought ‘I’m definitely onto something here’,” she said.

Mindful and Co Kids was born, designed to cultivate children’s self-awareness, resilience, and a growth mindset.

“I came up with our first product, our yoga flash cards,” she said.

“It’s the easiest way to implement mindfulness for children at a younger age.

“You want to make this fun.”

The cards became popular and Jacqueline received feedback from around the world, including schools and kinders - and Oprah Winfrey.

“It’s been crazy. She’s endorsed us three times now. We were on her favouite things list twice,” she said.

“I was a bit hesitant when I first started the business.

“I was worried mindfulness was a bit of a buzz word and people didn’t resonate with it.”

It turns out she was at the right place at the right time. The pandemic hit and people shifted their focus to mental health.

“Parents were wanting something other than screens to entertain them,” she said.

“It’s not a buzz word anymore. It’s written into the curriculum in schools.

“We were taught science and geography but no one taught us how to stand still and how to breathe and how to practice gratitude.

“If I’d been taught that as a kid it would have been very beneficial to me.”

Jacqueline’s now selling thousands of mindful breathing balls, Hoberman spheres, and weighted teddies.

She recently teamed up with Sesame Street to create a mindful moments floor puzzle, designed to cultivate mindfulness, enhance emotional well-being, encourage problem-solving, and more.

“Our products are all fun, engaging ways for parents to do mindfulness with their child,” she said.

“They could do as little as 10 minutes a day.”

Helping kids to thrive through play

AMIDST the wild ride of parenting and the unique challenges that face children today are the therapists at Playroom Therapy.

Play therapy harnesses the inherent powers of play and draws on tried and true therapeutic approaches to offer a gentle yet effective approach to mental health and wellbeing for children.

At Playroom Therapy, children are provided with a sanctuary where they can use play to make sense of their worlds, navigate emotions, and learn how to thrive.

Embedded within the philosophy of Play Therapy is the profound recognition that children possess an

innate capacity to communicate and process their innermost thoughts and feelings through play.

It’s a therapeutic modality that acknowledges the uniqueness of childhood experiences, offering a safe haven where children aged 3 to 12 years can use play to explore, express, and make sense of their worlds.

Play therapy has the unique capacity to foster emotional wellness, promote communication and expression, enhance relationships, and harness personal strengths.

Within the therapeutic environment of the playroom walls, children have the opportunity to make sense of

difficult life experiences, to grow in confidence, and to cultivate a deeper understanding of themselves, their relationships, and the world around them. With such power, play therapy has the capacity to address a range of social, emotional and behavioural difficulties - big and small.

While holding the child in the centre, Playroom Therapy extends its healing embrace to the system around the child, offering therapeutic support, coaching, and consultancy to parents, carers, educators, and teachers.

With such an approach, Playroom Therapy works to create a holistic ecosystem of support where children and families can thrive.

From anxiety and sadness to struggles with friendships or traumatic events, Play Therapy offers a beacon of hope and healing for children navigating life’s tumultuous waters.

As Playroom Therapy expands its reach with new locations in Malvern East and Balwyn North, the mission remains steadfast: to empower children and families to connect, heal and grow the best way they know how - through play!

Call 0478 389 793 or email admin@playroomtherapy.com.au, or visit 91 Waverley Road, Malvern East, or 101 Doncaster Road, Balwyn North.

HEAL, GROW AND LEARN

At Playroom Therapy, we help children to heal, grow and learn the best way they know how - through play. We are a team of friendly and experienced registered child play therapists who offer a range of child and family playbased therapies for children aged 3-12 years. We offer one on-one, group and family support.

Play therapy is effective in addressing a range of social, emotional and behavioural issues.

is rangge of social, , emotional and behavioural

Play therapy is known to:

• Promote school readiness

• Increase confidence and self-esteem

• Enhance emotional regulation skills

• Strengthen social skills

• Reduce fears, worries and anxiety

• Process difficult experiences, memories and traumas

• Improve family relationships

• Increase parenting confidence and skills

• Extend play skills and language skills

• Address challenges that coincide with developmental delays, neurodiversity and other diagnoses

• NDIS funding accepted

Emergency protocol for parents to protect smiles

ENCOUNTERING a dental emergency involving your child can be distressing, but knowing how to respond calmly and effectively is crucial.

When your child complains of a toothache, start by rinsing their mouth with warm water to remove any debris.

Gently floss around the affected tooth to dislodge any trapped food particles that might be causing discomfort.

Over-the-counter pain relievers appropriate for your child’s age can help alleviate pain.

If your child’s adult tooth is knocked out due to an accident or injury, handle it carefully by the crown (the part visible in the mouth) and rinse it gently with water, taking care not to remove any attached tissue.

If the adult tooth has come out completely, try to reinsert the tooth into its socket if possible, or store it in a container of milk or saliva to keep it moist.

Contact a dental professional immediately for emergency care.

If it is a baby tooth, don’t stress, there is no need to reinsert the tooth. But it is best to contact a dental professional to

make sure there are no remnants of the roots left in.

In the event of a broken or chipped tooth, it will likely need to be filled or if a very large fragment is missing, sometimes a silver crown is required.

Contact your dentist as soon as

possible for evaluation and treatment.

During any dental emergency, it’s crucial to remain calm and take prompt action.

Assess the situation calmly and reassure your child.

Control bleeding by applying gentle pressure with clean gauze or cloth if necessary.

Rinse the mouth with warm water to clean the affected area and use a cold compress to reduce swelling and alleviate pain.

While some dental emergencies can be managed at home, others require immediate attention from a dental professional.

Contact your dentist or seek emergency dental care if your child experiences severe or persistent pain, excessive bleeding that does not stop with gentle pressure, signs of infection such as swelling, redness, or fever, or if your child has suffered a traumatic injury to the face or jaw.

By being prepared and knowing how to respond effectively to dental emergencies, parents can provide the necessary care and support to ensure the best outcome for their child’s oral health. Call 9000 0071, visit wattleparkdental.com.au or email reception @wattleparkdental.com.au.

Dr Reina and the Wattle Park Dental team

Education

Transitioning to high school

THE journey from primary to secondary school is a major milestone in a child’s education.

The transition involves various changes such as different physical environments, new rules and expectations, and more structured learning.

It is a time of great excitement but also trepidation.

Families play an integral role in helping children experience a positive passage into senior school and there are several ways parents can assist with the transition.

At Strathcona Girls Grammar, we encourage parents to consider the following strategies and areas of support.

Open communication: Having honest discussions with your child about their expectations and concerns regarding their transition to secondary school is a simple, yet effective, way to offer them a sense of security.

Provide reassurance that experiencing a blend of emotions is natural as they approach significant milestones in life, and these feelings will pass as they settle into their new environment.

Organisational skills: The shift to secondary school coincides with increased responsibilities, so it can be helpful to help your child to hone their organisational and time management skills.

Consider giving your child a diary or calendar to help them practise managing assignment deadlines, activities, and extracurricular commitments.

Wellbeing: Introduce your child to practical ways to boost their wellbeing. Deep breathing, mindfulness, physical activities, and listening to music are all effective ways to do this.

school bag for the next day to ensure they can arrive at school punctually.

Connection with the school community: If your child is starting at a new school, consider engaging with their new school community early on.

You could attend an information session, transition day, or other oncampus event such as a performance, sports event, or fundraiser.

At Strathcona, students will continue their wellbeing journey under the school’s Wholebeing strategy - a holistic framework that focuses on achieving high levels of wellbeing among students and improving their resilience.

Independence: Providing opportunities for your child to build self-sufficiency can help them nurture independence and increase autonomy. You might ask your child to take charge of organising their social events or get them to prepare their lunch and

If you’re still in the process of selecting a secondary school for your child, attending an open day or school tour is a great way to learn more about a school and to ask any questions specific to your family’s personal needs and priorities.

Strathcona Girls Grammar hosts both an open morning and school tours, to share the educational opportunities and personal development programs that are core to supporting our students throughout all stages of their education.

At Strathcona, we recognise Year 7 as a time for students to discover, experiment, and grow.

The future never stands still.

We provide students with a supportive and inspiring environment to explore their intellectual potential, stretch their individuality, and foster greater resilience.

By offering our students a broad range of challenging and enriching learning opportunities, we encourage them to develop positive attitudes, a strong sense of self, and be effective lifelong learners.

To learn more, book a tour at www.strathcona.vic.edu.au/school-tour or scan the QR code.

By Shelley Lipshut, Year 7 Coordinator, Strathcona Girls Grammar

Aiming for excellence

ERASMUS Primary School is an independent, non-denominational primary school that draws on some of the great philosophical traditions from around the world.

The school is devoted to providing the finest education for Prep through to Year 6 and is part of the worldwide group of Renaissance schools.

The first was established in London in the 1970s – St James Schools, London.

Since then, others have been established around the world – St James in Johannesburg and Durban; John Scottus School in Dublin; Trinidad Renaissance School; John Colet School, Sydney; Ficino School in Auckland; and Erasmus Primary School, established in 1996. All of the Renaissance schools share the same guiding ethos which acknowledges that every person shares the same universal essence, and that given the right conditions, all have the capacity to grow to their full potential.

At Erasmus, the bar is set high. The aim is excellence in every aspect.

When hitting a ball, the attention is focused on the point of connection of bat and ball; when learning in the classroom, the attention is focused on the teacher and the instruction being given; when eating, the attention is focused on the taste of the food; when in conversation, the attention is on the sound of the voice of the person speaking.

Every aspect of school life involves the power of attention as a pathway to excellence.

For example, Erasmus takes pride in the quality of the artwork produced by its students.

The simple practice of letting the mind fall quiet and allowing the attention to go to the point of the pen or brush opens the pathway for true creativity to flow.

Wellbeing is a priority for all schools. Erasmus adopts the concept of arete as virtue, incorporating the four Platonic virtues of wisdom, justice, courage, and

THE AIM IS EXCELLENCE

temperance – these form the foundation of the school’s wellbeing framework.

Combined with the capacity to fall still and quiet, the school finds that these four virtues provide all that is needed to assist its students to face whatever challenge is presented – be it academic, emotional, physical, or spiritual.

The primary years are the time to lay a firm foundation for the adults of tomorrow.

At the heart of all that the team does at Erasmus Primary School is the desire to provide each student with what he or she needs to flourish and live a civilised and cultured life for the good of society.

Call 9819 1266 or email office@erasmus.vic.edu.au for more information.

Erasmus Primary School is an independent, non denominational primary school that draws on some of the great philosophic traditions from around the world. We are devoted to providing the finest education for Years Prep – 6, and are part of the worldwide group of Renaissance Schools.

We offer an ambitious and creative curriculum, enhancing the national curriculum with classical languages, philosophy, meditation and mindfulness as a way of developing all four aspects.

We are open from 8am – a bonus for working parents, and an opportunity for students to reconnect and play together before the school day starts at 8.25am. We invite all prospective parents to attend one of our tours held on most Wednesdays during term from 10.00 am. The tour groups tend to be small, providing an ideal opportunity to experience Erasmus Primary School. of

Open morning welcome Education

ESTABLISHED in Kew in 1889, Genazzano FCJ College, is a progressive, vibrant community where your daughters’ early formative learning years will offer an unparalleled foundation to a lifelong love of education.

Contemporary Catholic values underpin the way the Genazzano team does things - the school strives to live and learn with purpose and passion.

Genazzano FCJ College’s early learning centre provides a secure foundation for your child’s future learning.

The school’s priorities ensure Genazzano’s highly experienced and caring teachers introduce fun and play to educational activities, to help your child develop a life-long love of learning.

Its unique approach will nurture your child from their very first day to grow their confidence educationally and socially.

Junior school at Genazzano offers an innovative, diverse curriculum from Prep to Year 6.

The student is at the centre of all learning. The school wants its students to become confident and open-minded and socially aware contributors, ready to take on the world.

Genazzano’s approach to Inquiry learning is about presenting the students with relevant and engaging learning experiences that go beyond their homeroom and connect with specialist classes to explore central ideas and develop positive learner attributes.

The college is an International Baccalaureate Primary Years Program Candidate school which offers global teachings around history, geography, health, civics, citizenship and religion.

Genazzano offers stimulating cocurricular programs including STEM, the arts, social justice, languages and an inventors’ club for budding entrepreneurs at appropriate year levels.

The college tailors education and support to meet the unique needs of your daughter.

Junior school students are introduced to a wide range of sporting facilities.

The generous grounds provide a large oval, indoor heated 25 metre pool, indoor basketball court, seven tennis courts, three netball courts, and the elite Physical Performance Centre.

At Genazzano, the commitment to parents is to ensure every aspect of your child’s education, their personal wellbeing and academic potential is realised so they are ready to take on tomorrow.

Selected places at the early learning centre and junior school are available for 2025 and 2026. Experience the unique qualities of Genazzano FCJ College.

Open mornings will be held on Thursday 18 July and Thursday 19 September.

Visit www.genazzano.vic.edu.au/ enrolments or contact the registrar on 8862 1207 or registrar@genazzano.vic.edu.au.

Infinite possibilities

SACRÉ CŒUR is an independent Prep to 12 Catholic school for girls and young women, with a proud heritage of more than 135 years of academic excellence. Each girl or young woman who enters the school’s gates is welcomed into an inclusive community that encourages her to flourish both academically and personally.

She acquires the knowledge, skills and the self-confidence to succeed at local, national and international levels in a rapidly changing and competitive world.

The school promotes the growth of the whole person and strives to develop each student’s academic ability as well as their musical, sporting or artistic talents. Sacré Cœur leads and inspires students to be resourceful and resilient.

Open heart, open mind, infinite possibilities

The school’s holistic approach to educating young women unites academic endeavour with deep care for each child.

Founded in 1888, Sacré Cœur has an unwavering commitment to nurturing future-ready young women.

Educating for human flourishing

Each students’ wellbeing is at the core of their personal endeavour and achievement. The school is committed to supporting the emotional and social development of each student, and a pastoral care program is central to this.

Sacré Cœur’s strategic plan recognises the challenges of the everchanging world and how education must equip students with the skills and mindset required for tertiary education and the workplace.

The school’s Future Fit Framework underpins all learning and teaching.

Based on the values of purpose, excellence, care, hope and connection and the actions of developing thinking, deepening understanding, discovering possibilities, it specifically links wellbeing and learning, aiming to create ambassadors of positive change. Students learn from highly qualified and passionate teachers, many of whom are curriculum experts.

Within small classes, teachers embrace each child as an individual, meeting their learning and wellbeing needs. Learning in the junior school, Joigny, focuses on building upon each child’s natural enthusiasm and curiosity within a caring environment

In senior school, academic endeavour and the holistic, personal development of each student are at the core. As a result, Sacré Cœur’s young women flourish and achieve exceptional VCE results.

The school is consistently ranked as one of the leading Catholic schools based on academic excellence. Strong VCE results mean that graduates enter universities of their choice.

Sacré Cœur is the leading Catholic School in Victoria for university enrolments and retention.

Co-curricular

The school is committed to a wellrounded education and provides a wide range of co-curricular opportunities for students to explore in creative and performing arts, sport, public speaking, special interest clubs, leadership, competitions, global immersions and more.

Sacré Cœur is a member of Girls Sport Victoria, an interschool sporting association with 24 member schools, offering 16 sports.

Its Brynmawr Music School provides lessons and the opportunity to participate in 16 ensembles and choirs from the junior years onwards. Visit www.sac.vic.edu.au for more.

Join us at 172 Burke Road, Glen Iris, for one of our tours.

Hear from our Principal, Adelina Melia-Douvos, staff and students.

Come and explore the School and discover all that Sacré Cœur has to offer.

MeetyourFuture

Register now at sac.vic.edu.au

LIFE SAVING EDUCATION FOR LITTLE HUMANS

Online and in person baby first aid education to help keep your little humans healthy and safe.

We deliver infant and child first aid courses either at home, in public or online. We have created products to support you through this time.

Topics covered in courses are

Emergency Action Plan

Infant and Child CPR

Choking management

Recognising illness in children

Common Respiratory illnesses

Asthma • Allergy and Anaphylaxis • Fevers and Febrile Convulsions

• Management of Head injuries

• Management of Bleeding

• Management of Burns

• Bites and Stings

• Sprains and Strains

• Fractures and Dislocations

• Poisoning and Medication Safety

• Water safety and Drowning

TODAY OR SIGN UP NOW

Encouraging early literacy Education

LEARNING to read, and early mastery of literacy and numeracy, is fundamental to academic achievement and developing a lifelong love of learning.

Wesley College delivers explicit literacy lessons each day in its junior schools (Prep to Year 4) through comprehensive phonics-based literacy program ‘Sounds-Write’.

This begins by investigating the relationship between the sounds of words and letters as a whole class.

This is followed by instructional sessions with a targeted focus, led by an educator with smaller groups of students.

Lessons can therefore be tailored to each student’s level of understanding, helping to consolidate core literacy skills.

For students with English as a second language, this repeated exposure to the sounds of words is particularly effective.

“There has been quite a lot of discussion in the media about the most effective ways in which to educate and teach our children, particularly in

regard to reading,” Glen Waverley campus junior school head Ben Dooley said.

“Research consistently underscores the efficacy of systematic phonics instruction, decoding and comprehension strategies in primary school education.

“These evidence-based practices empower young learners to navigate the intricate world of language, ensuring they not only read words, but comprehend and derive meaning from them.”

Teaching at Wesley is informed by the ‘science of reading’, a body of evidence about how children learn to read and the instructional strategies that facilitate this.

“It’s not merely a teaching tool; it’s a commitment to equipping your children with essential skills that will impact the rest of their lives,” Ben said.

Five ways you can support your child’s reading at home:

Book a tour at www.wesleycollege.edu.au. NG toreadandearlymasteryof

Parents and carers play a pivotal role in encouraging children to engage with books in the home and find joy and delight through reading.

Family first aid help is at hand

MEGAN HARVEY created Help at Hand Education after noticing a gap in the market for simple, effective, quality and fun first aid education for children.

“As a mum to two amazing children, I understand all too well the stress, anxiety and sleepless nights associated with illness, injury and medical emergencies in babies and young children,” she said.

“During my 15 years as a nurse and nurse educator I have educated many people in many different settings.

“My mission is to share these lifesaving knowledge and skills with you so that you too can feel confident calm and empowered to take on any

illness, injury, or emergency your child might face.”

Megan said health advice didn’t need to be overwhelming.

“And it shouldn’t be,” she said.

“Help at Hand Education delivers practical, informative, simple, and fun first aid, CPR, and health education for your child.

“Our trained educators will develop your skills and knowledge, empowering you to feel confident and calm in any emergency whilst encouraging you to trust your gut instincts.”

Visit www.helpathandeducation.com.au to find out more or follow @helpathand_education on Instagram.

1. Read aloud together - Share the joy of reading with regular read-aloud sessions exploring a range of books. Twenty minutes per day spent reading with your children in the morning or evening is ideal. Regular practice and repetition of words leads to improved reading and comprehension.

2. Create a reading-friendly environment - Foster a love of books by making them easy to access and create a cosy corner for reading at home.

3. Encourage questions - Cultivate curiosity by asking your child questions about the story, the characters and the pictures. Encourage your child to do the same. This helps your child develop reading and comprehension skills – reading for meaning.

4. Celebrate progress and growth - Help foster a positive attitude towards

reading by acknowledging and celebrating progress.

Use language that validates the efforts your child is making, for example ‘I can see you really trying to sound out that word; that effort was really good’.

5. Model reading - You are the first teacher your child has, and we know children often imitate their parents and carers.

Let them see you enjoying a good book regularly.

Reading every day can help your child even before they have started school!

Building a solid foundation in literacy in these early years will develop the skills and build the confidence needed to carry students throughout their entire educational journey.

Visit Wesley College’s Elsternwick, St Kilda Road or Glen Waverley campuses and find out more.

Active Kids Superfood for kids’ brains

HAVE you noticed how musical your local community is? And how many capable and successful people you know had a musical education when they were children?

Mini Maestros believes in every child’s potential and giving children the best start in life.

Babies and young children who participate in a quality preschool music education program get a head start on schooling, develop musical skills, and cultivate a lifelong love of music.

Mini Maestros’ age-specific classes for babies to 5-year-olds are carefully designed to boost confidence, cultivate essential skills, and unleash creativity.

The team embraces different learning styles and makes learning fun, ensuring every child thrives. Making music engages multiple brain functions and stimulates holistic growth.

It’s the ‘superfood’ for your child’s developing brain!

By harnessing the peak neural activity that occurs before the age of 6, babies, toddlers, and preschoolers who actively learn music effortlessly

achieve crucial developmental milestones. Mini Maestros classes nurture the whole child, accelerating language and listening skills and boosting physical, social, and emotional development. The team facilitates nurturing and inclusive spaces for connection, play, and joyful discovery.

The vital social interactions and dynamic classroom setting of Mini

Empowering young athletes

I am delighted to introduce Australia’s largest multi-sport program for children aged 1.5 to 6 years.

At Ready Steady Go Kids, we believe in the power of early childhood development.

Our program, meticulously designed by paediatric physiotherapists and occupational therapists, aims to foster children’s gross and fine motor skills and instil a love for sports in a noncompetitive environment.

We expose children to 10 different sports, enabling them to acquire a broad range of skills.

This diverse curriculum not only builds a solid foundation of sporting knowledge but also ensures continued interest and enthusiasm throughout the program.

By offering this variety, we strive to nurture a lifelong love for physical activity.

Our program goes beyond sports training. We integrate basic counting and colour concepts into our classes, fostering cognitive development alongside physical skills.

Through teamwork and sportsmanship, children learn the value of collaboration and fair play, while also building social skills that will benefit them in their future interactions.

Our carefully designed activities also enhance listening skills and concentration, laying a strong

Maestros lessons pave the way for kindergarten and school readiness and are equally beneficial for the attending adults.

The learning and fun don’t stop at the classroom door; Mini Maestros also offers engaging online courses to enjoy at home with their carers.

With more than 1000 glowing reviews from satisfied parents and carers, Mini Maestros is a firm local favourite.

Don’t miss out on giving your child or grandchild a quality musical education. Enrol in Mini Maestros’ music and movement classes.

The musical fun and learning can continue in the comfort of your home.

Visit minimaestros.com.au or call 9850 5566. Support your child to thrive!

groundwork for success in the early school years.

To ensure optimal learning outcomes, we maintain a low studentto-instructor ratio of 1:7, with class capacities limited to 14 children.

We believe that this individualized attention fosters greater self-confidence, enhanced self-esteem, and a genuine sense of achievement, all of which contribute to the overall well-being of our young participants.

With our indoor facilities, we guarantee that every class will proceed as scheduled, regardless of inclement weather.

We also offer multiple make-up classes at any one of our locations at any time should you ever be unable to attend a class.

This reliability ensures that your child’s progress and development are never hindered, offering peace of mind to parents and a consistent learning environment for our eager participants.

Come and join us for a FREE TRIAL class at one of our Balwyn North, Templestowe Lower, Hawthorn or Doncaster East locations.

Visit readysteadygokids.com.au for more information.

Lachlan Price, Franchise owner - Balwyn and Hawthorn Regions

Cosy parties perfect for winter Party Time Time

AS winter sets in, there’s nothing quite like the charm of a cosy slumber party.

When going outside isn’t an option, there are plenty of engaging indoor activities to keep everyone entertained.

Popular meal-time activities include a pizza or breakfast pancake-making station.

For a delightful dessert, toasting marshmallows and making s’mores is a perfect winter treat.

For an effortless and memorable experience, consider the extras from Slumber Tribe, which come delivered and ready to go with your setup - no going to the shops!

Slumber Tribe’s extras are carefully curated for quality and affordability, ensuring your guests enjoy high-quality items rather than lower-grade alternatives.

Here are some popular Slumber Tribe extra offerings:

■ Fast-dry non-toxic nail polish: At $10 each, these Australian-made polishes are perfect for a fun game of ‘spin the next colour,’ resulting in rainbow nails. Plus, each guest can take one home as a gift.

■ Spa kits: Priced at $12 each, these kits

come with adorable headbands for a relaxing spa experience.

■ Pillowcase art kits: Starting at $40 for a set of four, these kits let guests create and decorate their own pillowcases.

■ Friendship bracelet kits: Available for $25, these kits are perfect for crafting lasting memories.

■ Conversation cards: For $20, these cards spark interesting discussions and lots of laughter.

■ Karaoke machine hire: For just $30, bring the fun of karaoke to your slumber party.

Additionally, Slumber Tribe offers a Taylor Swift add-on kit for $50, which includes Tay cushions, a karaoke setup, bracelet kits, and glitter bunting for parties of up to eight guests.

To avoid overwhelming your guests, limit the number of activities and sweets.

A few well-chosen activities can provide hours of fun without overstimulation.

Slumber Tribe’s pricing is designed to offer convenience and enhance the slumber party experience with minimal profit, focusing instead on providing a magical and memorable event for everyone involved.

Create memories with real global impact

THE mission at Reptile Encounters is simple: to be a voice for those that don’t have one.

The team is passionate about inspiring and educating the next generation on conservation, because they believe that together we can make a difference.

For more than 16 years, Reptile Encounters has been bringing wildlife up close, providing unforgettable experiences for its guests.

Its headquarters houses a diverse range of Australian animals that the team cares for every day of the year.

For the past six years, Reptile Encounters has proudly partnered with B1G1 (Buy One Give One), a global

business initiative committed to giving back.

Through this partnership, the business supports various charitable projects that align with its mission and values.

B1G1 meticulously vets projects that need aid, ensuring their impact and effectiveness.

From the vetted list, Reptile Encounters selects several initiatives that resonate with its goals and values.

Each time a customer makes a booking, they receive a link allowing them to choose which project a portion of their payment will support.

This empowers customers to directly influence the positive impact their

purchase generates. The effect of these contributions is measured in ‘impacts’, a tangible metric used by B1G1.

To date, Reptile Encounters has achieved more than 3400 impacts and is continuously striving to increase this number.

Book your next adventure with Reptile Encounters and be a part of this incredible journey.

Not only will you create unforgettable memories, but you’ll also contribute to meaningful projects around the world.

Contact Reptile Encounters today to book your event and start making an impact!

DUCK cake!

Dads are taking the cake

Like Bandit, we now use the term to express frustration in our house.

While the Bluey episode named for an elaborate Australian Women’s Weekly cake definitely showcases the frustrations associated with baking, it

says a lot more about the joy.

For those unfamiliar, Bingo chooses the duck cake for her fifth birthday cake after an image of the finished product sends her tail wagging.

Bandit is reluctant to take on the challenge, to say the least, but is determined to do his best to make Bingo’s day.

relinquish control of making my daughter’s birthday cake without a fight - getting into the kitchen brings me so much joy - but baking is a chore many mums would happily handball.

brief into the early hours with a scotch in hand.

The resulting cake is usually pretty impressive but far from perfect.

It’s a great reminder of what our kids actually want and need - us - and a valuable lesson for the kids.

Of late, anecdotally, that’s led to expensive outsourcing of the task. Great for bakers but not for bank balances, which can take a big hit where kids’ birthdays are concerned.

FIZZ

Kidz is known for redefining the party experience with engaging, hands-on and incredibly fun parties.

Fizz Kidz offers science parties, glamour parties, slime parties, and tie-dye parties, and has just released an exclusive Taylor Swift-themed party package.

Fizz Kidz has four glowing studios across Melbourne, located in Balwyn, Malvern, Cheltenham, and Essendon.

Fizz Kidz party packages are allinclusive, consisting of kids’ creationmaking, dancing games, exclusive studio use, fantastic party hosts, party food, and invitations.

It’s your easy one-stop shop that kids love!

Devoted to personalised touches, Fizz Kidz prides itself on being your trusted partner in kids’ entertainment. To book an amazing party or explore more about their offerings, visit fizzkidz. com.au or call 9059 8144. Let the celebration begin!

He struggles through the bake - with some moral and cleaning support from Bluey - and his imperfect result sends Bingo’s tail into overdrive.

So it was great to see a dad (albeit a cartoon dog dad) take on the task. His effort wasn’t perfect but his daughter couldn’t have been happier. It’s a nice return to the old adage ‘it’s the thought that counts’.

Hamish steps outside his comfort zone for his children and finds joy in bringing their vision to life. They feel the love that’s gone into the process.

The episode highlights finding joy in doing things for others.

For me, it’s also a great example of a shift in the mental load.

Arguably, children’s birthday cakes have traditionally been a mum’s responsibility. There’s no way I’ll

We also see this in comedian and TV presenter Hamish Blake’s biannual late-night bakes.

His son, Sonny, and daughter, Rudy, share their vision for their birthday cake each year and he shares his baking journey on Instagram.

Watching is always good for a giggle - Hamish never leaves himself enough time and inevitably battles to meet his

One dad commented on his Instagram: “You inspired me to do the full birthday cake setup…my boys love their mad crazy stay up all night drinking scotch birthday cakes and you’re a bloody good dad.”

It sure sounds like these prominent examples of dads baking are inspiring more dads to take (charge of) the cake.

But let us know what you think - find us on Instagram or Facebook and share your dad bakes!

- Casey Neill

The ultimate party experience with Fizz Kidz

Malvern, Essendon, Balwyn & Cheltenham Studios

Slime Parties, Science Parties, Glamour Parties, Tie Dye Parties, Unicorn Parties AND MORE!!!

Picture: Ludo Studio

Reality Bites

Roadside birth ‘empowering’

By Casey Neill

A shock delivery in an ambulance station versus a scheduled caesareanTayla Keene’s two births couldn’t be more different.

The Mooroolbark mum’s experience post-birth has been chalk and cheese, too. Postnatal depression clouded her first months with Jasper, but therapy put her in good stead for Lyra’s start to life.

Tayla had always wanted to be a mum and instinctively knew she was growing a little life with fiance Trent Broome before a positive pregnancy test confirmed it.

“There weren’t any symptoms as such but I knew straight away,” she said.

“The first test came back negative but the next morning there was a faint positive line.

“Trent didn’t believe me until we were sitting in the doctor’s room getting our results back.”

Her pregnancy with Jasper went smoothly, but things kicked up a notch about a week past his due date.

“I woke up about 2am with contractions all across my lower back,” she said.

“I timed it roughly in my head. They were repetitive, but not consistent.”

Trent woke up to Tayla writing notes on her phone. They decided she’d get as much rest as possible and send her midwife a message in the morning.

“I was lucky, I was part of the midwifery group practice program,” she said.

“My midwife was actually a family friend of ours, too.

“I texted her about 8am, but she’d been at a birth with someone else that night and had to hand me over to her partner midwife.

“I laboured during the day at home.

“We were living with my parents at the time in Christmas Hills.

“I was going to The Angliss, they knew we were about an hour away.

“It was probably around lunchtime that I wanted to hop in the bath for a little bit.

“The contractions started to get pretty regular.”

She’d read an old wives’ tale that you could tell how far dilated you were by how cold your legs were, from your knee to the top of your thigh.

Tayla thought she was about 8 centimetres and called her midwife, who listened to her breathe through a contraction and said she was still in early labour.

“I think they underestimate people’s pain tolerances,” Tayla said.

“I wouldn’t say labour for me was painful.

“I’ve had really bad periods my whole life so I can say I’ve had periods worse than labour.”

Tayla was told to come in when she could no longer talk through her contractions, that at that point she’d be in the next stage of labour.

“Maybe 20 to 30 minutes later we were bang in that next stage,” she said.

“Every contraction brought me to my hands and knees.

“I was pushing - I couldn’t not push.”

She got out of the bath, dressing herself between contractions, and her dad and sister helped her get into the car with Trent.

Her waters broke about 20 minutes down the road, in Lilydale.

“I reached down and I could feel his head,” she said.

“I told my husband he had to pull

over and call an ambulance.

“I was OK. If we had to deliver this baby ourselves on the side of the road, that’s what we were going to have to do.

“You just have to accept it.

“I was never scared of birth as a thing because I figured women had been doing this for hundreds of thousands of years before me.

“My body was designed for this. Whatever happens it’ll be fine.

“I just had to listen to my body.”

They soon came to an ambulance station.

“We didn’t know if it was manned,” Tayla said.

“We pulled up on the side of the road. I don’t know how I made it inside.

“I just pulled my pants off and I was on my hands and knees on the ground.

“Trent’s rummaging through their cupboards, getting their blankets out.

“He’s on the phone to dispatch. They’re telling him what to do.

“Luckily, at this point the paramedics who were happening to have their lunch at 4pm took over.”

They got her up onto a trolley - then received dispatch instructions to respond to her call.

“The paramedic that was mainly helping us, this was his third birth,” Tayla said.

“Most paramedics don’t get to deal with them. They usually get called straight after the fact or just don’t get to see them.”

They pushed the trolley into the amulance and Tayla got onto her hands and knees and pushed.

“I could feel the ring of fire. I knew one more push and he was out,” she said.

“There was this wall of paramedics standing behind me.

“A paramedic half caught him while the rest of him came out.

“We all chilled out in the ambulance for a little bit.

“The paramedics made sure we were both OK.

“I had a little bit of a tear. Everything was really good.

“He latched pretty much straight away on the drive there and fed maybe about half an hour, 40 minutes.

“We came in through emergency and they took me up to the birth ward.

“They had to pull my placenta out in the end.

“I had a third degree tear that was quite deep, so they took me into theatre.”

Tayla said Jasper barely cried in those first hours and was so strong he was almost holding his head up.

“He wanted to be a part of everything,” she said.

“He had so much of his personality even before he was born.

“Now we see how it translates to him today. He’s very strong, outgoing, reactive. He has a big personality.

“He was a very easy baby.

“The hardest thing for me was probably breastfeeding. Something so natural did not come naturally.

“My milk came in very quickly but I had an oversupply which was leaving me very sore all the time and wet constantly.

“Then we both developed thrush as well because my breast pads were so full all the time.

“He had a bit of a tongue tie that we got snipped.

“Once we got through those first weeks we were pretty good.

“He followed the awake windows and the sleep schedules.

“He grew really quickly, he learnt things really quickly. All of his milestones he has reached early.

“He would have been about four months old when I started recognising signs of postnatal depression.

“I had a textbook perfect child, yet I struggled so much, and I’d always wanted to be a mum.”

Living at home didn’t help, and then the Covid lockdowns hit.

“He was about 18 months old when I first went to the doctor to start a mental health care plan,” Tayla said.

“I knew I should have done that a lot sooner. I kept waiting for it to go away.

“That guilt of ‘I should be happy about this, I’ve got a really good child, a really happy child’.”

Tayla had always been an overachiever and people pleaser.

“If I admitted that I needed help I felt like a failure, I felt like I wasn’t doing this mum thing the way everyone else seemed to do it.”

Jasper was about 2 when Tayla was able to speak to a counsellor.

“I’m now such a big advocate for counselling and therapy,” she said.

“I still see my therapist now, two years later.

“One of the biggest things she did for me was normalise a lot of feelings I was having.

“We made plans and strategies but also looked at a lot of the root causes of things.

“I learned to give myself the grace that I need and be OK with where things are at.”

For about the first year after having Jasper, the thought of having another child terrified Tayla.

“But I never wanted him to be an only child,” she said.

She spent time with her therapist and returned to work in a new field, finding a job she enjoyed.

“I don’t really know exactly when it was, but a switch turned and I felt ready to have another child,” she said.

“It took a lot longer for Trent to come around.

“Jasper’s birth for me was a very empowering experience. For Trent it was a very stressful experience.

“The thought of me going through potsnatal depression again was a big factor for him and really scared him.”

They fell pregnant the same month Trent came around to the idea.

The early days were very different to Tayla’s first pregnancy.

“Period symptoms are very similar to pregnancy symptoms, so I ignored everything,” she said.

“We were probably about seven weeks along before I took my first test.

“I didn’t want it to be negative. It was something I’d really wanted for 12 months.

“There were so many symptoms. I felt really hot, wanted a lot of sweet sugary things.

“I was at work one day and cracked it about something, and my colleague said ‘you just seem very quick to anger, are you alright?’.”

She picked up a test at the supermarket on her drive home, and was relieved it was positive.

Unlike her pregnancy with Jasper, Tayla felt nauseous throughout.

“About halfway through my pregnancy with her I had an ultrasound with the perineal clinic at Box Hill,” she said.

“I took myself to a pelvic floor specialist when we first agreed we were ready to have another baby and my recovery seemed really good.

“I had an ultrasound and the colorectal surgeon said they didn’t advise another vaginal birth.

“That crushed me.

“It was really hard to not cry in the appointment.

“I instantly felt like my choice had been taken away from me and my body had failed me.

“I felt very let down by my own healing.

“It took a while to come to terms with having a caesar.

“It was a situation I couldn’t control so I just had to let it be and control what I could.”

Tayla wanted a maternal assisted caesarean, where the mother helps to lift her baby from her womb.

“Going through the public system it’s not really a big thing that they do,” she said.

“No one could give me a straight answer as to why I couldn’t do it.

“I was told it would depend on the doctor on the day.

“I wanted at the very least immediate skin to skin.

“They gave me my spinal at 9am, she was born at 9.16am.

“It was such a strange experience.

“You could feel everything that was going on in terms of the pushing, the pulling, the tugging.

Lyra was eight weeks old when we spoke, and was having reflux and tummy issues that were affecting her sleep.

“She hates being put down, she will not tolerate being put down for more than a minute,” she laughed.

“I don’t think the exhaustion is as bad because you’re conditioned to it.

“Being in our own house has made a massive difference.

“My mental health is in a much different place this time around.

“We are having regular check-ins because we’re more aware.

“She’s more difficult than Jasper, but we are in a much better position this time around.

“You could not get two more polar opposite kids from the same family.

“But they’ve both got those piercing blue eyes.”

“She was crying before they’d even properly got her head out.

“They lowered the drapes and we got to touch her.”

Only 10 seconds passed between Lyra entering the world and being placed on Tayla’s chest.

“She was instantly very different to Jasper - very vocal, a lot sleepier,” she said.

“It’s different when you’ve been evicted rather than knocking on the door.”

She said the hardest part of the caesarean was the first few days, particularly standing.

Lyra latched and put on weight well, and Jasper was bursting to meet her.

“We’re very lucky Jasper’s been really good with her,” Tayla said.

“He just wants to hug her all the time and give her a kiss on the head.

“He can’t wait for her to play toys together.”

Reality Bites

Traumatic toilet birth

By Casey Neill

LAUREN Green’s son made an unconventional entrance to the worldinto a toilet.

Pascoe Vale South mum can see the funny side seven years on, but the sudden birth left deep scars she’s still coming to terms with.

The nurse had always wanted to be a mum.

“I’ve always been quite maternal and very girly, kind of fitting into the stereotypes,” she said.

“I was in a relationship before my current partner with someone who didn’t want kids.

“That was a deal breaker.

“It became very clear to me then that I wanted to be a mum.

“Then I met (fiance) Nick.

“I said to him on our first date ‘do you want kids?’ and he said ‘maybe one day with the right person’.

“That was close enough.

“I’m an advocate now for having that conversation early on.

“If it scares them off they’re not the right person anyway.

“Do you want to have kids with someone who doesn’t want to have kids?”

Completing a half marathon flicked a switch in Lauren and spurred her to try for a baby.

“I felt quite strong, it felt at the right point in my life and my career,” she said.

“I just did a really hard thing, I’m ready to have a baby.”

Nick was hesitant.

“I’d had a few friends having a hard time getting pregnant. I told him it might take time,” she said.

“Then I think we pretty much got pregnant the first time we tried.

“I’m very grateful for that.

“We all got over the shock and were just over the moon.”

Lauren instinctively knew that she was pregnant early on.

“We’d gone out in the city for something,” she said.

“My boobs were huge and aching. I’d never experienced that before.

“I was like ‘Nick, I’m pregnant’.

“We went into a pharmacy in the middle of the city and got a pregnancy test.

“It lit up like a Christmas tree.

“I must have only been four weeks.”

Fatigue and nausea struck hard soon after.

“The second trimester was lovely. I went for lots of walks and had a spring in my step,” she said.

“The third trimester was good as well.

“I tried to work to 36 weeks but as a nurse, that’s hard.

“It was really hot. It must have been February or March.

“My boss came up to me and said ‘you can go on sick leave for the next few weeks if you want to, you don’t have to push yourself through this’.

“I don’t think I would have done that myself if someone hadn’t told me.

“That must have been at 34 weeks, which I think is when they recommend nurses stop.

“I was still safe to look after my patients, it was more about me being exhausted.”

Lauren had “a lovely time nesting” - aside from organising a new car after hers was stolen - and took Calmbirth classes with Nick.

“I’m really happy that we did that. I think Nick learnt a lot about how to support me,” she said.

She was 38 weeks and one day and she and Nick decided to have one last date night.

“We went to our local pub, played Uno, and had dinner,” she said.

“It was a really lovely night.

“In retrospect, I’m so glad we did that because it was our last time together as just the two of us.”

She’d had an induction massage earlier that day and instinctively filled her car with petrol.

“I was making sure everything was prepared,” she said.

“My body knew what was happening even if my brain didn’t.”

Lauren went to bed and woke to contractions at 1am.

“While I was sleeping I was obviously dilating and I didn’t know,” she said.

“The female body is just incredible. I’ll never get over being in awe of it.

“I thought ‘I’ll just let it happen for a bit, it could be Braxton-Hicks or it might go away’.

“It got pretty intense pretty quickly so I woke Nick up.”

Nick ran a bath for her but she soon got back out.

“I was restless, it didn’t feel right. It just wasn’t what I wanted,” she said.

“I was walking around the house remembering my Calmbirth sessions, breathing through it and being mindful.

“I felt comfy on the toilet. The position that your body is in when you’re on the toilet is quite natural for that process.”

Lauren had a TENS machine on her back and was timing the contractions using her phone.

They got closer together and more intense so Nick called the hospital.

On learning that Lauren was only three hours in, the midwife told her it’d be a while longer and she should take some Panadol.

“I think they didn’t believe me,” she said. “I thought ‘they’re two minutes apart and they bloody hurt. What do you mean I can’t come in yet?’.

“It’s all a bit of a blur from there.

“I had a funny contraction that felt very different from the others.”

Lauren felt like her body was pushing.

“It happened again and I felt Otis’s head coming out.

“I said to Nick, ‘I think the baby’s coming out’.

“He was trying to do all the things he’d been told to reassure me.

“On the third weird contraction, he came out into the toilet.

“I felt like I didn’t have enough time in my head to process what was happening.

“Nick came barrelling into the bathroom and got him out.

“He was passing him through my legs.

“Everything’s tangled and it’s chaos.

“It was scary.

“I just put him on my chest and said to Nick, ‘You need to call an ambulance’.

“I just sat there then, in shock.”

The ambulance arrived in less than 10 minutes.

“In retrospect, if he wasn’t breathing that’s not quick enough,” she said.

She started having contractions again once she arrived at the hospital.

“That hurt more than the ones I’d had before Otis was born,” she said.

“I asked for pain relief.

“They said to me ‘You had the baby without anything so you’ll be OK’.

“I was lying on the trolley with Otis on my chest and my placenta still inside me.

“I think the ED was full but they made a space for me on the delivery suites.

“After that I felt very calm and I had a beautiful midwife who helped me through the process of delivering the placenta.

“I think my body was fighting it. I was so stressed.

“Once the placenta was out I finally just got to rest.

“Otis was completely fine.

“He did have a hematoma on his head. They checked that and everything was OK.

“That’s quite common if you have a vacuum birth anyway.”

Lauren lodged a complaint with the hospital following her experience.

“I spent quite a bit of time thinking about what would have happened if he wasn’t breathing,” she said.

“I do spend a bit of time thinking about that - less these days, but more in the year or two after.

“Everyone who goes through birth, it changes you.

“It’s definitely left me with some scars.

“It’s changed the way I think about things.

“We had floated the idea of just having one child before we had Otis anyway, but after that I was like ‘nope, I’m done, I can’t go through that again’.

“I don’t want to go through that again.”

Lauren told Otis about the ordeal “maybe a year or two ago”.

“He knows he was born in the toilet at our house, not in the hospital,” she said.

“When he was a couple of weeks old we went to a wedding.

“Someone there told me their son had been born in the toilet.

“She said her son had got picked on for it at school. That made me a little bit conscious of it.

“I told him he didn’t have to tell anyone that if he didn’t want to, that’s his personal story.

“I would be devastated if he got bullied for it.”

Mum Lauren and her son Otis.

Picture: Rob Carew

Reality Bites

A space to grieve

By Casey Neill

ONE couple has turned their pain into a healing sanctuary for other parents who have lost a child.

Hayden and Sheree Ballinger founded Forever Held Foundation on their Naringal dairy farm.

“It came out of our own journey,” Sheree said.

“We have five children.

“We feel so incredibly grateful, but part of the journey of growing our family was experiencing five miscarriages.”

In May 2018 they lost their son Jamin after 18 weeks of pregnancy.

“The grief that followed was overwhelming for a really lengthy period of time for me,” Sheree said.

“It was compounded grief - I hadn’t fully acknowledged or slowed after each to take that time to grieve.

“When this happened it was layer upon layer and it forced me to a stop.

“I would go for a walk or a run down our farm road and past this piece of land we had purchased about 10 years before.

“The idea came on a run, to make space for parents to stay, a retreat.

“At the time it felt like a dream.

“We didn’t know if it would be possible.”

But the Ballingers finished the no-cost short-stay Forever Held haven for other loss parents in October 2022.

“Our vision was to create space to grieve,” Sheree said.

“Grief is a really natural part of life.

“In our Australian culture we often don’t know how to handle that.

“We hope that any parent who’s experiencing the loss of a child knows that their story matters and they’re not alone.

“We’ve had some really encouraging feedback even months after a stay.

“It helped them to feel seen and heard.

“One thing that we also hear is how there’s a certain sacredness to the space.

“They appreciate that only loss parents have stayed in the retreat.

“There’s some sort of connection because of that.”

Sheree designed the space very intentionally.

“We wanted to make it feel different to a hotel,” she said.

“We wanted to use as many natural materials as possible - timber, stone, natural light.

“We can’t always physically be there to sit with everyone who comes to stay, but we wanted to wrap each person with love.

“They walk in and feel the warmth, and that there’s people who really care about what they’re going through.

“It’s also off-grid. There’s very limited phone reception, no Wi-Fi, no TV.

“It’s just that chance to switch off.

“It can initially feel confronting. It is a slowing down, it is a switching off.”

The Ballingers provide an art and journalling space for guests.

“They share their story if they’d like to, if that’s going to help them in their healing,” she said.

“There’s no rules for any of it.

“We want people to be able to come and simply be themselves and have their grief acknowledged.”

The retreat is a family affair, with the kids often helping Sheree and Hayden set up for guests.

“Child loss has been very much part of our story,” she said.

“It’s not something we’d ever choose, but I think they’ve been able to see how we’ve used those hard parts of our story to be an encouragement for others.

“I think it’s definitely helped them to grow in their understanding that life carries those beautiful joys but it does carry pain.

“It’s not one or the other, it’s often both alongside each other. “It’s given them an appreciation of that aspect of life.

“I hope it helps them understand how to reach out to others in their pain.”

Sheree said speaking about child loss with her living children had been hard.

“When we experienced our first few miscarriages our children were quite young so it was hard to be open and to know how much to be open about it,” she said.

“They knew and they were looking forward to a brother and a baby in our family.

“There’d be times when tears would just come.

“(My daughter) would come and sit next to me on the couch and just snuggle in for a cuddle.

“They don’t try to run away from it.

“They are happy to just sit in that place and give you a hug or talk about it or draw you a picture.

“I would say ‘I’m feeling really sad today because of Jamin’.

“Mums do have sad, hard days too.

“I didn’t feel like I had to pretend with them.”

The Ballingers would take family camping trips around difficult milestones.

“That is one of the most common times people reach out to make a booking is a first anniversary of a loss or around a birth date,” Sheree said.

“It would have made a world of difference to us.

“We are a fully registered charity. We do take donations to support the ongoing costs of each stay. We provide meals, as an option, plus basic supplies.”

To donate or become a corporate sponsor, email info@foreverheld.org.au.

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Not your everyday dad

By Angie Hilton

SOME people enter this world and it’s very clear they are here to make a difference. Woon Ooi, 44, is not your everyday corporate dad or tradie dad.

His day job has seen him come face to face with some of the most confronting situations imaginableincluding being on the front line in the Bourke Street massacre, hostage negotiations, going undercover to buy illicit drugs from traffickers, and coaxing people off the top of buildings and bridges.

Son of a minister, Woon’s adolescent backstory is every parent’s worst nightmare – gangs, expulsions, you name it!

But somehow, all the danger and rebellion of those formative years shaped him into an outstanding human with a drive and passion for helping others.

When you hear about his career you might picture a hardened, desensitised man.

But quite the contrary - Woon wears his heart on his sleeve, has an endless capacity for helping people in need, is an amazing father, a loyal and caring husband, and would give you the shirt off his back.

His lived experience has gifted him with a humble wisdom that is evident as soon as you talk to him.

Woon, can you give us a snapshot of life before babies? Childhood, school life, ambitions?

I had my first baby when I was 20 years old. She is 24 this year, so I was only a baby myself.

Life before babies was school, university, business college, and working part-time in a dim-sim factory and a restaurant.

I deferred my university studies, finished business college, and started at the Victoria Police Academy in 2001.

School life was tough. I was born in Malaysia and migrated to Australia in 1985.

We started life in a little town on the other side of Melbourne called Frankston.

I was the only Asian kid at Frankston Primary School and on my first day of school (in Prep), I was beaten up so badly that I required stitches on the top of my head.

When I was 7, we moved to Geelong, and it wasn’t much better.

I was expelled from school in Grade 2 for defending myself. Shamefully, I became a bully myself.

When I was 10, I joined a gang and by the time I was 14, I was couch surfing and at times sleeping rough.

I had no ambitions; life was about survival. I was expelled from three high schools before managing to complete my VCE.

You’ve worked in fields that would terrify the average person. Can you give us a snapshot of your career highlights and lowlights? What inspired you to head into such a challenging field?

In 2000, I was studying at business college and Victoria Police was recruiting.

I applied for the Victoria Police and the full-time Army at the same time but decided to take the policing option.

My career was rather unusual. I was one of two Mandarin speaking officers at the time.

I graduated from the Academy and went to the City Patrol Group to complete a three-month posting in the city.

I completed my mandatory threeday traffic direction course, and on the fourth day I reported for duty at the section sergeant’s desk and he sent me to the senior sergeant’s office.

The senior sergeant said, “Don’t bother sitting down”, as he handed me a report.

I said, “What does secondment mean?”

He replied, “It means pack your bags, you’re out of here. There is a car outside waiting for you.”

I was taken to St Kilda Road Police Complex where I worked in the kidnapping unit for a number of months, listening to recorded phone conversations, listening devices, and conducting real-time surveillance.

After that I worked in plain clothes drug investigations, buying heroin from drug dealers on the streets.

I then spent three years in the Melbourne Sexual Offences and Child Abuse Unit. This is really where I began my journey and passion in looking into how people communicate to influence others.

My job was meeting complete strangers in their most vulnerable state and making a connection to elicit the best evidence that we could use to mount a strong case, ultimately seeking justice for the victims.

After three years I needed a change and became a specialist weapons instructor. I learned how to use my voice to teach and train police officers, and how to use structure in language to achieve the highest possible training outcomes in the shortest amount of time.

I did that for three years before taking a promotion to the Police Academy as a senior instructor. There I developed programs, trained other trainers, and advised on a number of committees including the Coroners Court of Victoria.

In 2011 I joined the Critical Incident Response Team (CIRT), which became the best 11 years of my career.

After completing my basic operators’ course, I qualified as a Close Personal Protection operative, Siege Hostage Negotiator and eventually became a Tactical Commander.

I was involved in many critical incidents including the 2017 Bourke Street Massacre, which became the tipping point of many years of unprocessed emotions.

A year after the Bourke Street incident, I was diagnosed with PTSD and sent off work for seven months.

I was determined to ‘get well’, return to work, and leave on my own terms.

I did, and went on to perform duties at higher ranks for another five years.

As a CIRT operator, on a daily basis I encountered people in crisis and sometimes truly believing that day was their last on earth.

I had the incredible privilege of sitting in that final moment with them and helping them see that there were more days to come for them.

I joined Victoria Police to make a difference. I left Victoria Police for the same reason.

I now work with people in so many different contexts.

I work with high performing teams, CEOs and senior executives running large corporations with over 3500 employees.

They all want the same thing: to make a difference in this world, and leave a legacy.

The formula is the same. Help people become great communicators, teach them how to make genuine human connections, and lead people to positive outcomes.

Amy and Woon with daughters Lulu, 6, Isla, 9, and Nevadah, 23. Pictures: Louisa Jones

Your work is something not many of us would be cut out for - what is the secret to staying calm in such high-pressure situations?

The mind is an incredible machine. It has limitless resources. Learning how to access those resources has changed my life.

The unconscious mind processes a lot more than our conscious mind can.

The mind also loves to be in control. It is also a pattern recognition machine. If it encounters a situation that it doesn’t recognise it will process the situation as a threat.

A threat response is typically a flight, fight or freeze response.

However, it is difficult to predict your response unless you have developed a pattern of response.

I do think being prepared is advantageous and responsible, especially if you are in charge of little lives.

It also puts you back in the driver’s seat and puts your mind at ease, because you have a plan. A simple IF/ THEN exercise will help greatly.

You can say to your child, “If you get lost, wait at the information booth and I will find you there.”

During a pressure situation, ‘box breathing’ is very effective:

Look at a square object. Count to four seconds while breathing in and following the top edge of the square object with your eyes.

Now hold for four seconds while following the right edge of the square object down one side.

Now breathe out for four seconds while following the bottom edge of the square object.

Now hold for four seconds while following the left edge of the square object up the other side.

Do this for two minutes and you will feel amazing.

You must consciously think about breathing (that way), which means you have to activate the part of your brain which is responsible for thinking, problem solving, and regulating your emotions.

In the negotiator world, we call this ‘brain online’.

Another way to prevent or reduce a survival stress response is to practise gratitude, empathy and mindfulness (eg box breathing) every day.

Research has shown that this practice will reduce activity in the part of your brain that triggers your survival stress responses.

How would you describe your parenting style?

I would describe my parenting style as ‘doing the best I can with the resources I have’.

I believe that is true for every parent.

I also believe that ‘every person has the resources within them to succeed and achieve whatever outcomes they desire’.

It is also vitally important to be ‘kind and gentle to yourself’ when you don’t respond in a way that you are proud of, because ‘there is no failure, only feedback’.

Pick yourself up and try again.

What have you found to be the hardest thing about parenting?

The hardest thing about parenting is probably the same for most people - the consistency and persistence that is required, because the rewards are so far

into the future that it is hard to stay focused and motivated on doing the best you can now.

Something I discovered in negotiation that is incredibly powerful is ‘rapport building’ with your kids.

In fact, it is vitally important. Without rapport, it is difficult, if not impossible to lead or influence anyone, including children.

How often do you tell your partner you love them? Imagine if you said to them, “I told you that I love you on our wedding day. If that changes, I will let you know.”

Kids are the same. We need to seek to build rapport with our kids all the time, especially if you want them to learn a lesson.

A few weeks ago, my nine-year-old Isla was very disrespectful towards Amy at a netball match.

Amy had the wisdom and patience to let it go at the time, and then asked me to address the issue in the morning.

The following morning, Isla came into our room (at the same time), said good morning (as she normally does) and asked to go downstairs to watch TV (which is her normal routine).

However, on this particular morning, I told her to hop in bed with me.

Now, this is out of routine for her, so I could immediately anticipate that her survival stress response was being activated. Even a child needs to feel in control and of course, the need to be right.

I spent five minutes getting into rapport with her, to bring her survival stress response down and to bring her ‘brain online’, because I was about to discuss something very important.

Something that would mould her character and make her a better human being, and become more socialised, which is, after all, our primary objective as parents.

Once her brain was ‘online’ she was able to regulate her mood, receive feedback without being defensive, rationalise, identify what made her angry, and be disrespectful to her mother (the night before), problem solve and develop solutions herself on how to manage her emotions more constructively in the future.

The alternative would have been to cause an argument with her that would have lasted all day, and maybe into the next day. Negotiating with my kids requires me to focus on the objective.

The opposite is turning the situation into a contest.

In a contest, there is a winner and a loser, and nobody likes to lose, and you will not win a contest (especially with your kids) by presenting more rational and convincing points.

If you focus on the objective (which is to socialise your child and turn them into productive members of society) then there is nothing that child can say to you to bait you into a contest.

The best thing about family is that you love each other no matter what. You aren’t going anywhere, which means you get to fail and try again as many times as you need.

Just remember to be kind and gentle to yourself and ‘there is no failure, only feedback’.

Gosh, Woon, you have so much wisdom to share with our readers. If you had one sign-off message, what would that be?

Something I had to learn the hard way and now I tell myself daily: “Be really kind and gentle to yourself.”

Education

Students ‘hesitant’ to sign on to university

By Casey Neill

TODAY’S high schoolers are more worried about study debt and increasingly likely to take a gap year, says one career coach.

Geelong mum and teacher Danielle Flack has worked in career education in secondary schools for 13 years.

“The last couple of years I’ve noticed young people’s attitudes and aspirations towards work and further education changing,” she said.

“I’m seeing lots more teenagers wanting to take gap years.

“There’s a lot more hesitation about committing to university.”

Danielle recently started a PhD in career education and has just written a book on the topic - Career Planning Handbook: Navigating Your Future Career and Work Life.

“I basically wrote the book with my teenage self in mind,” she said.

“What do I wish I knew back then? What would I have found helpful?

“I was the first in my family to attend university, and despite getting an ATAR in the high 90s, I really struggled with adjusting to uni life.

“I actually changed courses three times in three years.

“This experience made me passionate about helping young people like myself, who just don’t know where to start and maybe don’t have the support or resources at home.”

So Danielle collated the information and advice she gave to her students.

“I’ve broken it down into the steps that I would take if I was in their shoes,” she said.

“I thought about the questions I regularly get asked from young people.

“It’s the first time they’re making a decision that potentially has long-term implications.

“For a lot of young people, that causes so much stress and anxiety.

“I wanted to convey that it’s OK if you don’t know what you want to do or if you make a mistake or you change your mind or if you try something and it’s not quite right.”

She said many of her students were “really tired” by the time VCE rolled around.

“They’re tired from being through Covid, then returning to school, and I just feel like a lot of them don’t want to rush into making a decision,” she said.

“They just want a moment to pause and reflect.”

That often means a gap year, which Danielle encourages - so long as they make it profitable by doing something meaningful.

“That could look like working a part-time job, building up your skills,” she said.

“Or doing a short course at TAFE that is an interest area for you.

“A lot of my students who may be interested in becoming nurses or teachers, they might say ‘on the side I’m actually really interested in makeup’.

“Do the certificate.

“When you go back to uni, you can start your own business on the side and

earn money while being flexible around university.

“A lot of them just want to travel.

“I think that’s an excellent way to get a bit more independent, get organised, learn how to manage their time, be a little bit more resilient.”

Another factor in students electing to delay a decision on further education is the Higher Education Contribution Scheme (HECS).

“It is quite different here,” she said.

“There’s two camps: ‘I have to escape from Geelong the second I can’ or ‘No I can’t leave, this is where my family is’.

“It’s a passionate commitment one way or the other.

“When I lived in Melbourne I had traditionally worked in Catholic schools.

“Most wouldn’t consider studying overseas or interstate.

“In Geelong, young people will consider studying interstate, that’s just a normal thing.

“We’ll look at universities in Queensland, New South Wales, Tasmania.

“I’ve got lots of young people interested in studying overseas.”

“That whole conversation about having the HECS debt and indexation, you wouldn’t think that young people would be thinking about that, but in the last two to three years it is so common for Year 12 students to come in and ask ‘how much does this course cost?’,” she said.

“I worked in the western suburbs so I worked with a lot of young people who were first in the family going to university, a lot of students who were looking at apprenticeships or trainee pathways.

You can find Danielle on Instagram at danielle_thecareercoach.

students to come in and ask does this course she

“Previously no one would ever ask.”

sly no one would ever ask.”

Danielle introduces students to career education in Year 7 by building selfawareness.

“We start with what are they curious about, what do they like to do, what are they good at,” she said.

n t at ood at,” she said.

In Year 8 she introduces activities like ranking jobs from lowest to highest salary, busting myths and misconceptions, and investigating the level of study or training behind different roles. At Year 9 and 10 Danielle shifts the focus to shaping the kids as future employees.

“We look at part-time jobs, resumes, cover letters, job interview skills, their rights in the workplace…then start planning for senior secondary school and beyond,” she said.

bs from lowest to highest ting tions, dy les. At 9 ifts re k s, e or d,” she said.

nteractions cisions about the future.

For Year 11 and 12 students, Danielle’s interactions focus on making decisions about the future. Along the way, she provides parents with conversation starters to use at home and shares information explaining the different pathways.

“So we still have a lot of misunderstanding, maybe misinformation, about TAFE and about apprenticeships, and what is a good career and how do you get there,” she said.

h conversation starters to e till anding, ation, enticeships, areer she said.

“A lot of the work we do is on educating parents as well.

“One thing we’re trying to do this year is to provide a little bit more information about the future of work.

“There is a lot of anxiety, worry, confusion about what the future of work is going to look like.

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“We’re trying to use that as an opportunity to explain what skills might be needed, how to develop them, and highlight some of the growing industries.”

Danielle’s PhD will look at the hopes and aspirations of young people in relation to work, education and training with a regional lens. She moved to Geelong from Melbourne three years ago.

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Books

Understanding anxiety

By Casey Neill

A Geelong author’s new book gives children a glimpse into life with anxiety and an assistance dog.

Childcare centre owner Karyn Connors based Kitty and I on her experience with 6-year-old chocolate poodle Raffy.

“I’ve worked with children all my life and I was an avid reader as a child,” she said.

“I’ve always enjoyed books and reading to children, so for a long time I’ve wanted to write a children’s book.

“I’m also an artist and I was looking for a new project.

“I thought it was a good way of introducing a topic to children that is not openly discussed - that being anxiety - and also educating on assistance dogs and how they help people.”

Raffy rarely leaves Karyn’s side.

“Primarily when I’m sitting he’ll be on my knee, so the weight of him soothes me, makes me feel calmer,” she said.

“He’s very intuitive about how I’m feeling. He’ll be lying on a blanket next to me and all of a sudden he wants to get up on my knee.

“It’s an amazing sort of bond or relationship that we have.”

Raffy came into Karyn’s life when she “had a lot of things going on”.

“My mental health and even my physical health was not very good at all,” she said.

“I got a puppy just before my partner passed away and found that just having him was helpful.

“I then looked into how I could have him trained to be able to go with me everywhere, which he has over that time.

“The book is actually about that.

“One of the pages talks about how with Raffy I can go to art galleries or theatres or orchestras, things that I would otherwise not have done on my own.

“When I have Raffy with me, I feel more comfortable.”

Karyn has shared the book at schools and elaborated on her experience with anxiety.

Children’s books...

Listen, Hippo!

Gabriel Evans

When Billy is feeling sad, he wishes he had someone to talk to.

He thinks what he needs is someone to listen…but his best friend, Hippo, believes he knows exactly what Billy needs!

Playing dress-ups will cheer Billy up, and dancing in the cherry blossoms, or maybe a pirate adventure?

Hippo just wants to make Billy happy, but it’s only when he finally listens to what Billy wants that he can help his friend.

Penguin

$24.99

Detective

Beans and the Case of the Missing Hat

Li Chen

In this hilarious full-colour graphic novel, Cat Town’s best kitten detective is on the case – of his very own missing hat!

The clues take Beans all over Cat Town.

He encounters philosophical pigeons, dodgy street magicians, lounge singers and soup chefs, and even a mysterious trash portal.

No one is a match for his crime-solving powers. But will Beans find his hat before Mum is expecting him home for dinner?

Penguin

$17.99

“I explained the physical things that my body feels when I’m worried or anxious,” she said.

“I talked to them about feeling like your heart’s racing and you’ve got butterflies in your tummy.

“In the book, I tried to make it relatable to children.

“It says that whether they’re imagined or real, they’re fears that I have.

“I used a lion in the jungle, a bear in the forest, and a shark in the ocean to give children something they could grasp and understand how that would feel.”

Karyn combines different media to create her illustrations, including children’s drawings, photos, acrylic paints, and inks.

“It’s a very visually different book to the majority of other children’s books,” she said.

“I use words and imagery that I believe children can relate to, whether they’re three or nine.

“I hope that they feel more understanding of differences in people.

The

Land Recalls You

Kirli Saunders

Do not mourn the hands that raised you…Do not weep for songs of land.

Honouring the Stolen Generations, and all who’ve been taken, The Land Recalls You is a powerful story of returning, written with love and reverence by awardwinning Gunai author Kirli Saunders and illustrated by debut Bundjalung artists David and Noni Cragg.

Scholastic Australia

$26.99

“Children - whether they’re in childcare, kinder, or school - will always meet people who differ from them in some way.

“I hope it gives them a better empathy and acceptance of diversity.

“So many people are touched by anxiety, whether that’s a child with anxiety themselves or a family member.

“If we allow children to be aware and educated about such mental health issues we can help them to be resilient and to develop strategies.”

Everything We Never Said

Sloan Harlow

The dead keep the best secrets…

It’s been months since Ella’s best friend, Hayley, died and everywhere she looks she sees reminders of her – including Sawyer, Hayley’s boyfriend. Soon, the two grow closer, finding comfort in each other.

Racked with guilt, Ella turns to Hayley’s journal, but what she finds leaves her terrified.

The Sawyer in these pages is nothing like the kind and thoughtful boy she knows. Torn, Ella finds herself having to make a choice. Yet making the wrong one could have fatal consequences…

Penguin $19.99

The Sea in Me

Cody Simpson

From multitalented athlete, musician, and writer Cody Simpson comes a breathtaking story of finding the calm and quiet amid the bustle and noise of everyday life.

The sounds from above are hazy and lost to me.

I can only hear my heartbeat, slow and steady.

When your heart beats faster and the noises close in, it’s time to make a break for it and find the sea within.

Dive deep and look, listen and feel all the creatures as they block out the distractions and allow you to listen only to the voice inside you.

Penguin $19.99

Karyn Connors with assitance dog Raffy.

Picture: Louisa Jones

Exceptional care, learning

Wesley’s Early Childhood Learning Centres (ECLC) provide the best opportunities for children to start school with confidence.

From STEM to art, music, dance and the foundations of literacy and numeracy, Wesley’s approach to early education is holistic, fun and engaging.

Through hands-on exploration and play, children develop communication, problemsolving and social skills that instill confidence and a sense of belonging.

Small class sizes allow teachers to observe and actively engage with students to develop individual learning plans tailored to each child’s interests and capabilities. By knowing your child, our expert educators guide students to discover and explore their interests at a pace that is right for them.

Early learners are guaranteed a place in Prep at Wesley College. Book a tour to discover the exceptional care and learning experiences for 3- and 4-year-olds at our Elsternwick, Glen Waverley and St Kilda Road campuses.

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