Geelong Coast Kids - Winter 2024

Soak up the gentle winter sun

WINTER is synonymous with indoor activities, especially when kids are in the mix.

We’re drawn to play centres, museums, shopping centres, cafes, and our own living rooms.

The cooler, often-wet weather has us reaching for puzzles and crafts, grabbing popcorn and snuggling under a blanket to watch a family movie, or venturing into the kitchen alongside our littles to warm up inside and out.

Maybe you and the kids spend a day in your pyjamas and dressing gowns, build a blanket fort, or set up an indoor picnic.

These are all great options but don’t disregard the outdoors just because of the weather.

Stepping out the front door and feeling the chill on your cheeks can be invigorating for kids and grownups alike.

CONTENTS

IT’S YOUR LIFE

Pass the Snacks: Geelong mum tackles school holiday hunger

PAGE 3

Steve Biddulph: How we give children calm, happy minds

PAGE 4

Gogglebox couch potato Adam Densten talks podcasts and parenting

PAGE 5

Mini train is big fun at Portarlington Bayside Miniature Railway

PAGE 6

Geelong author shares anxiety battle to build understanding

PAGE 6

Kids in the Kitchen: Macadamia and coconut fruit crumble

PAGE 8

Angie’s Catchup: Woon Ooi is not your everyday dad…

PAGES 9-11

Karroong Kanyool: A new hub for First Nations Youth

PAGE 13

Couple turns child loss pain into a unique space to grieve

PAGE 14

Survivor gives hope to kids stuck in family violence shadow

PAGE 15

Take a deep breath of that fresh air and soak up the silence at your favourite playground, or take a drive to explore a new play spot.

Teaming with kids and the accompanying squeals and shouts during the warmer months, parks and playgrounds are near-deserted on many winter days.

Throw an old towel in the car to wipe any morning dew or rain drops from the equipment, rug up, pack a thermos, and let the kids expend some of their boundless energy.

Puddles are like magnets for littles, so invest in those waterproof pants, grab the gumboots and let them splash to their heart’s content.

The joy on their faces and excited giggles will be worth risking an extra load of washing - we promise!

For older kids, grab a magnifying glass or mini microscope and encourage them to take a look at the raindrops - or snowflakes, if you venture to higher ground - up close.

You could even challenge creative kids to photograph these natural wonders or recreate them with their favourite art medium once you’ve returned indoors to warm up.

So don’t hide indoors - swap your sun hat for a beanie, grab a coat, and soak up the gentle winter sun!

Let us know your favourite winter spots on our Instagram and Facebook pages, and reach out on socials or email if you have a story to share.

Geelong Coast Kids magazine is a Star News Group publication.

Geelong Coast Kids will be published quarterly prior to each of the school holidays.

Geelong Coast Kids 1/47 Pakington Street, Geelong West Phone: 5249 6700

Group Advertising Sales Manager Mandy Clark mandy.clark@starnewsgroup.com.au Phone: (03) 5945 0608

Editorial Melissa Meehan melissa.meehan@starnewsgroup.com.au Casey Neill casey.neill@starnewsgroup.com.au

Advertising General Sales Inquiries 03 5249 6700

advertising@geelongindependent.com.au

Published by Star News Group Pty Ltd ACN 005 848 108. Publisher/Managing Director, Paul Thomas. All material is copyright to Star News Group Pty Ltd. All significant errors will be corrected as soon as possible.

DENTAL

Balyang Dental: Where every smile shines

PAGE 16

EDUCATION

Resilience initiative kicks off

PAGE 17

Coerver Coaching: Learning the beautiful game

PAGE 17

Geelong mum, teacher and author on helping students find their career path

PAGE 19

North Geelong Secondary College: Opportunities for excellence

PAGE 20

Crackerjack Kids: Nurture a brighter future

PAGE 20

Geelong Arts Centre: Unlock creativity and confidence this school holidays

PAGE 21

DISABILITY

Extra newborn screening tests to save lives

PAGE 23

Crossing the Gap’s team is ‘something special’

PAGE 23

REALITY BITES

Alleviating nappy stress in cost of living crunch

PAGE 24

Brotherhood of St Laurence: Making lasting change

PAGE 24

Mum on Oprah’s mind shares journey from PND to worldwide success

PAGE 25

Your chance to WIN with VTech and LeapFrog

PAGE 25

Low milk supply linked to breast growth in pregnancy

PAGE 26

Kidsafe: Winter burns risk warning and first aid advice

PAGE 26

Mum shares her traumatic toilet birth

PAGE 27

Mum’s roadside birth emergency an ‘empowering’ experience

PAGES 28-29

BOOKS

Author’s son inspires book tackling bedtime battles

PAGE 30

Discover new book releases for all ages

PAGE 30

Geelong mum fights hunger PASSTHE SNACKS

Cover Mia rugs up and soaks up some winter sun.

Picture: Rob Carew

It’sYourLife

Geelong mum’s saving snack time

By Casey Neill

A Geelong mum is helping to fill kids’ tummies during the school holidays.

Deeann Cropley started Pass the Snacks after helping Eat Up Australia with an event last year.

“Eat Up Australia is an organisation that provides sandwiches for kids during term who’d otherwise go without lunch,” she said.

“After that event I kept thinking about the in-school support and what happens when that finishes up for the term.

“The more I thought about it and the more conversations I had with othersteachers, parents, schools - it became more obvious to me that potentially there is a gap there.

“That leaves a hunger gap for the kids.”

Dee called upon businesses for donations and left collection boxes at workplaces with a list of target items.

“At the top of the list were always going to be things like muesli bars and rice cakes,” she said.

“I was trying to make sure that what I was calling for had some nutritional value as well - things that were going to sustain the kids for longer and not just those empty snacks.”

Dee also connected with the Geelong Food Relief Centre and received bulk donations.

“The businesses collected extraordinary amounts of food,” she said.

“People are still being really generous, they’re doing whatever they can to help.”

The result was 62 boxes, filled to the top Dee considered how best to provide access to the boxes, taking limited transport access and work demands into account.

“Logistically I thought that for some families it could be tricky to access during the school holidays,” she said.

“That’s why we decided the food boxes would be delivered directly to the school in the week before term finished.”

The schools identified families that needed extra support the most.

“I really didn’t want any restrictions or strict criteria,” she said.

“If the school signed up and identified the need, that’s good enough for me.”

Dee received great feedback from families and schools.

“The schools who have previously attempted to assist during the school holidays themselves felt like it was a lightening of the load in that they could just send home the box.

“Families said their kids’ faces lit up when they opened the box.

“For the rest of this year the aim will be just to continue to supply as many boxes as we can to schools.

“Friends and families and schools have been helping to push it along.

“It’s not just me by any means.”

Heading towards the term two holidays, Dee was hoping to repeat term one’s efforts, if not exceed them.

“Then hopefully just continue that for the next year to get a clear sense of how sustainable this program could be and how to keep it going,”she said.

“In order for this program to be able to continue it will 100 percent rely on the community helping out and doing whatever they can within their means to help.

“It might be donating one box of muesli bars.”

She’s also calling on businesses and community groups to do their own food drive or collection.

People can financially donate as well, or provide gift cards.

“I just so emphatically believe that as a community and through this Pass the Snacks program, we have the capability to help kids access more food more consistently over the school year,” Dee said.

“We just need to keep the momentum going.”

Fostering calm, happy minds

A tiny baby lies sleeping in their cot, alongside their parents’ bed.

We don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, but it is just one of around 820 babies born every day in Australia, and 385,000 born somewhere in the world.

Psychologists are finding out some incredible things about small babies and their journey to adulthood, and especially about what happens between bubs and their mums, dads, or grandparents, depending on who does the raising.

It used to be that people thought very little about babies other than to feed them, keep them warm, and stop them from crying.

But today we are very worried about the infant’s first year because it looks like these are the weeks and months when some big things are decided that will affect them for life.

Whether they will grow up to be kind and able to make good relationships; be able to stay calm and manage stress; and especially that they won’t have some terrible outcome, such as being suicidal or someone who is violent and hurts their partners, or even kills them.

The neuroscience world is discovering, through the magic of brain scanning technology, that in the second six months of a baby’s life, their ‘right cerebral cortex’ - or the right brain, to put it more simply - does not just grow like some little cauliflower in the veggie patch, even though it does rather resemble that vegetable.

It grows, not just from food and the passage of time, but from interacting with the right brain of (usually) Mum!

Our right brains are the playful, affectionate, and loving sides of us, and they especially show up in our facial expressions, the little noises we make around babies, and the teasing or soothing we do to make them alternatively giggle or fall asleep.

The process of growing your baby’s right hemisphere is completely unconscious; it simply happens when you play with them, gaze at them, soothe them, and - hopefully - have a few family or friends around to share this kind of fun and give you a few hours’ break.

Researchers find the same things all over the world. We talk to babies in high pitch (which they hear best with their undeveloped hearing), we swing or sway with them in our arms, which signals to them that they are in human arms and safe, and we hold them close to our hearts, where they can hear the heartbeat they knew in the womb.

If you are reasonably safe and able to focus on your baby - and especially if you have seen people doing parenting with enjoyment and playfulness - then it is not too hard to enjoy and interact with your little one.

If you are lonely, had a traumatic birth experience, or have a rather uptight nature, then the messiness of babies can bring you unstuck.

No society in the world except our own messed up modern one leaves young parents so alone, and in need of other people to care for us when we find it hard to relax into new parenthood.

When the conditions are rightbecause someone is making good eye contact and is responsive in their movements and sounds - a baby begins to experience “I am here!” and “I am noticed” so they develop a sense of self.

A sense of self, of being stable and worthwhile, actually grows in the wiring of the right brain.

They experience that when upset - there is a pathway back to feeling OK.

Babies get upset by almost everything - hunger hurts in their tummies, loneliness frightens them, loud sounds or strange voices.

Our soothing of these things builds neural pathways so that in a year or two they know “I can calm down, I don’t have to panic”.

Adults who do terrible things are often in a state of acute panic and disintegration, whereas the people who come to help - the ambulance and medical and hopefully police and counsellors who help to heal - bring an internal sense of calm and love.

They can do this because their mums, dads, or grandparents showed them love and playful affection back when they were tiny.

Parenthood is the most important thing humans do.

We don’t protect young parents or give them enough time or care.

But if you at least know what you are doing is of immense value, you can stick up for your right to do it and give it your whole heart.

Steve’s new book Wild Creature Mind will be out in August from Pan Macmillan.

It’sYourLife

By Casey Neill

Empowering new dads

TWO professional couch potatoes are helping new dads to find their feet.

Gogglebox favourites Adam Densten and Matty Fahd are bringing their candid commentary to fatherhood in podcast The dads and the Docs.

They’re sharing practical tips and stories to help prepare new parents with help from medical professionals.

Matty has sons Malik, 4, and Lyon, 1, while Adam has a two-year-old daughter, Celia.

“She turned up earlier than expected,” he said.

“The Denstons are known as being very punctual people.

“(My wife) Rach started mat leave on a Monday. On the drive home, she called me and said ‘she’s not really moving as much as she previously had’.”

Rach went in for a checkup and was surprised to discover she was in the very early stages of labour at 36 weeks.

Celia was in a breech positionbottom first rather than head down - so doctors didn’t want the labour to progress.

Rach called Adam to the hospital, and Celia was born 45 minutes after he arrived.

“The other four weeks would have been nice,” he laughed.

“She’s awesome.

“From day one she’s been a really good sleeper.

“She was sleeping through the night from seven or eight weeks.

“She’s super happy.

“She’s in her Bluey era at the moment.

“I intentionally didn’t watch any of it before she was ready so I could enjoy it with her.”

Celia changed Adam and Rach’s lives in ways he expected, and in many ways he didn’t.

“The big one was how our relationship changed,” he said.

He and Rach had been together six years when Celia arrived.

“You have six years of basically only focusing on each other to something else coming in and taking more than half of your focus,” Adam said.

“I’m really glad that Rach and I did heaps of travel in our twenties and saw lots of things and achieved some of the goals we had.

“I’m glad that we got all that out of the way.

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to be 22 and have a kid.

“I’m glad we waited a little bit longer. It made us the people we are.

“You can be ready to have a child but you can never be prepared to have a child.

“It’s going to be the most difficult thing you do but it’s not insurmountable, which it can feel like at times.”

That’s where the podcast came in.

“The thing that we found was the resources out there for dads are all for dads of teenagers or kids at school,” Adam said.

“We wanted to produce something that was digestible and easy and simple but also evidence-based.

“This is not an anecdote or some story that’s been passed down.

“And dads don’t want a lecture, they just want the information.”

Adam and Matty wanted to highlight the support available, from sleep and lactation consultants to the maternal and child health and PANDA hotlines.

“Just knowing that those resources are out there can make a difference,” Adam said.

He said the stereotype was Mum doing all the research and passing on what she’d learnt to Dad.

“We’ve found that dads want to be more engaged and have the answers themselves.

“The big bumbling idiot dad is a bit of a dumb stereotype.

“If you want to learn how to swim you’ve got to get out of the boat.

“If you want to be good at changing a nappy, you’ll be shit at changing a nappy for a while but you’ve got to get into it and try.

“The more you are engaged, the better you’ll be.

“The more informed you are, the better time you’ll have.”

Adam wants to make parents - but particularly dads - feel less alone.

“Whatever you’re thinking has been thought before,” he said.

“A whole heap of research out there says the more hands-on a dad is, particularly early on in a child’s life, the more coordinated a child will be and the more resilient they’ll be.

“You want to produce a better version of yourself.”

Season one covers pregnancy, labour, the hospital stay, and the first week, month, and three months at home.

The first episode on each topic features a chat with an expert, and in the second, Adam and Matty chat about their takeaways and personal experiences.

“We wanted people who were really well regarded and spoke really well, and were still involved in some level of research so they were up with modern science and birthing,” Adam said.

Dr Scott Shemer covers everything dads can do to help their partner during pregnancy, while Dr Jonathan Nettle talks listeners through labour.

Paediatrician and neonatal doctor Dr Brendan Chan shares what to expect when you’re in the hospital room with your new family.

Dr Golly guides dads through the intimidating first week at home, Dr Cheng talks through what is and isn’t normal during the first month, and Dr Billy Garvey covers the mental health side of parenting.

Adam said the data showed an equal split of men and women listened to the podcast, “even though it’s a show by dads to get dads more engaged”.

Adam and Matty are planning for season two to feature targeted episodes, like a sleep-focused chat featuring a sleep consultant.

“We’re working it out and open to feedback,” he said.

What’s one thing Adam wishes he knew before having a baby? A tool to help prevent those day-destroying nappy blowouts.

“Nappies with the wings - I just was not told that you need to pull those out,” he said.

“I was only pulling out the frilly bits.”

His favourite nugget of wisdom delivered in the podcast’s first season counters the ‘love at first sight’ narrative often espoused by new parents.

“Billy Garvey has a great line: when you first saw your partner, did you fall instantly in love with them?” he said.

“It’s OK to let the relationship develop.”

As a bloke aged in his thirties, many of Adam’s mates are also having children and turn to him for advice.

“I just say ‘listen to my podcast’ and they say ‘I can’t be bothered’ and I say ‘fair enough’,” he laughed.

“People are afraid to tell you that some of it’s going to be a bit s*** because they don’t want to rain on your parade. “I like the shit sandwich method.”

He tells them something really great, delivers something to look out for, and then rounds out the chat with another positive.

“The most helpful thing I think is just saying ‘reach out to me if you’re struggling’ and also reaching out to them during those first weeks,” Adam said.

“Say ‘I don’t expect you to reply to this, but if you need 20 minutes, I’m on the other end of the phone’ or ‘I’m coming over to drop food off’.”

Adam Densten and Matty Fahd.

Rach and Adam with daughter Celia.

Mini train is big fun

THE Portarlington Bayside Miniature Railway offers big family fun.

The mini passenger-carrying train runs within the Portarlington Bayside Family Park grounds, corner Point

Richards and Boat roads, Portarlington. It operates on the first and third Sundays of the month from 11am to 3pm, April to September.

During the winter school holidays, the

railway will also offer a special service on Wednesdays 28 June and 5 July, 11am to 3pm.

The Rotary Club of Drysdale conceived the idea for the railway in

1995 and opened it to the public in 1999 with support from the Geelong Society of Model and Experimental Engineers.

The railway went into hibernation in January 2015 due to a lack of volunteers, but past railway members formed the Portarlington Bayside Miniature Railway not-for-profit association in April, took over the rail in November, and reopened in December.

The railway operates thanks to volunteers and is seeking new active members.

Revenue raised through the railway is put back into the facility and donated to charity.

Ideas for the future include a track extension, further landscaping, a new tunnel, more carriage storage, new clubrooms, roofing, and more.

Other attractions in the park include playgrounds, walking trails, free electric barbecue facilities, and a station kiosk.

Trains run at frequent intervals and the ride takes about 10 minutes.

The ride is free for children aged under 2 years and $4 for al other age groups.

Family and periodical tickets are also available.

It’sYourLife

Demystifying anxiety for kids

By Casey Neill

A Geelong author’s new book gives children a glimpse into life with anxiety and an assistance dog.

Childcare centre owner Karyn Connors based Kitty and I on her experience with 6-year-old chocolate poodle Raffy.

“I’ve worked with children all my life and I was an avid reader as a child,” she said.

“I’ve always enjoyed books and reading to children, so for a long time I’ve wanted to write a children’s book.

“I’m also an artist and I was looking for a new project.

“I thought it was a good way of introducing a topic to children that is not openly discussed - that being anxiety - and also educating on assistance dogs and how they help people.”

Raffy rarely leaves Karyn’s side.

“Primarily when I’m sitting he’ll be on my knee, so the weight of him soothes me, makes me feel calmer,” she said.

“He’s very intuitive about how I’m feeling. He’ll be lying on a blanket next to me and all of a sudden he wants to get up on my knee.

“It’s an amazing sort of bond or relationship that we have.”

Raffy came into Karyn’s life when she “had a lot of things going on”.

“My mental health and even my physical health was not very good at all,” she said.

“I got a puppy just before my partner passed away and found that just having him was helpful.

“I then looked into how I could have him trained to be able to go with me everywhere, which he has over that time.

“The book is actually about that.

“One of the pages talks about how with Raffy I can go to art galleries or

theatres or orchestras, things that I would otherwise not have done on my own.

“When I have Raffy with me, I feel more comfortable.”

Karyn has shared the book at schools and elaborated on her experience with anxiety.

“I explained the physical things that my body feels when I’m worried or anxious,” she said.

“I talked to them about feeling like your heart’s racing and you’ve got butterflies in your tummy.

“In the book, I tried to make it relatable to children.

“It says that whether they’re imagined or real, they’re fears that I have.

“I used a lion in the jungle, a bear in the forest, and a shark in the ocean to give children something they could grasp and understand how that would feel.”

Karyn combines different media to create her illustrations, including children’s drawings, photos, acrylic paints, and inks.

“It’s a very visually different book to the majority of other children’s books,” she said.

“I use words and imagery that I believe children can relate to, whether they’re three or nine.

“I hope that they feel more understanding of differences in people.

“Children - whether they’re in childcare, kinder, or school - will always meet people who differ from them in some way.

“I hope it gives them a better empathy and acceptance of diversity.

“So many people are touched by anxiety, whether that’s a child with anxiety themselves or a family member.

“If we allow children to be aware and educated about such mental health issues we can help them to be resilient and to develop strategies.”

Karyn Connors with assitance dog Raffy.

Pictures: Louisa Jones

Go nuts for this fruity crumble

in the kitchen

with Lucy Stewart

IS there anything more comforting on a cool winter evening than curling up on the lounge with a bowl of warm fruit crumble cradled snugly in your lap?

I have such fond childhood memories of this dish – my parents are English so we’d often spend Christmas holidays in the UK where a crumble was always on the ‘pudding’ menu.

Not only is my macadamia and coconut fruit crumble super easy to make – kids of all ages will enjoy getting their hands into the mixing bowl and squishing all the crumble bits together – it’s also a dessert that gets bonus points for doubling as a nutritious breakfast.

You can use any stewed fruit for the base. I’ve gone with two pantry staples of apples and frozen mixed berries here, but pear, plum, and rhubarb also work well and nectarine or peach are

Stewed fruits are great for kids because they’re easy to digest, promote the growth of healthy bacteria, and enable regular bowel movements. Apples are especially healing and soothing for the gut thanks to the pectin

I’ve replaced the traditional crumble topping with a mix of almonds, coconut, and beautiful Aussie macadamias that are grown just up the road from me – a combination that’s naturally sweet and full of nourishing fats and protein to leave you feeling sufficiently full and satisfied after one bowl.

And if you’re lucky enough to have any left over for breakfast, it’s delicious served cold with a dollop of coconut yoghurt.

Macadamia and coconut fruit crumble

Serves: 8 – Prep time: 10-mins – Cook time: 30-mins

Ingredients:

Base

■ 4 apples, cored and diced

■ 500g frozen mixed berries, thawed (preferably organic)

■ Juice of 1 orange (you’ll need the zest too)

■ 1 tsp vanilla extract

■ 1 tbsp pure maple syrup

Crumble

■ 1 cup macadamias, roughly chopped

■ 1 cup almond meal

■ 1 cup flaked almonds

■ 1 cup shredded coconut (preservative-free)

■ 3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

■ 1 tbsp pure maple syrup

■ Zest of 1 orange

■ ½ tsp cinnamon

■ ¼ tsp sea salt

Created by Nutritionist and mum, Lucy Stewart, they’re made with only real wholefood and plant-based ingredients – no additives, nothing artificial, and without nuts, dairy, soy and wheat.

Well Fed Kitchen provides an easy snack alternative to the sugar-laden, healthy pro- cessed options, guaranteed to fill kids tummies, satisfy their hunger, provide a steady release of energy and some essential growing nutrients too.

www.wellfedkitchen.com.au @wellfedkitchen_snacks

Instructions:

1. Preheat the oven to 180 degrees

2. Put the apple, orange juice, vanilla extract, and maple syrup into a saucepan over a low heat and cook until the apples are soft but not mushy, about 5 minutes.

3. Transfer the apples and cooking liquid into a pie dish or baking tray, then top with the frozen berries. Set aside while you make the crumble.

4. To make the crumble, place all the ingredients together in a large mixing bowl then use your hands to rub the oil and maple syrup into the dry ingredients until it resembles a clumpy crumbly mixture.

5. Sprinkle the crumble mixture over the apples and berries and bake for 30 minutes or until the crumble is cooked and golden. Keep an eye on it as the nuts will catch and burn easily

6. Serve warm with coconut cream or ice cream.

12562706-MS36-22

It’sYourLife Not your everyday dad

Name: Woon Ooi

Age: 44

Occupation: Executive leadership, communications and highperformance coach.

Names, ages, and three words to describe your wife and children:

■ Amy, 42 – Fiercely loyal, incredible mum, creative.

■ Nevadah, 23 – Loves her family, creative, kind, best presentgiver.

■ Isla, 9 – Energetic, hyperintelligent, born leader.

■ Lulu, 6 – Loves her mummy, kind, considerate, funny.

Go-to karaoke song: Throw Your Arms Around Me by Hunters and Collectors.

A movie you love: Warrior (2011 film) directed by Gavin O’Connor. The final scene makes me cry every time.

An embarrassing moment: During a presentation on cyber security, I repeatedly used the term ‘FaceSpace’ (a combo of Myspace and Facebook). That’s how long ago that was!

Mantra: “Say yes and work it out later.”

A quote you love: “I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.”

What superpower would you love to have and why? Photographic memory. People feel valued and heard when you remember their name and the conversations you had with them. It builds instant rapport and is so effective in creating genuine human connections.

What scares you? “I am not afraid of dying, only afraid of living a life that was not worth living.”

A life-changing moment: When I was 20 years old I was caught in a rip at Surfers’ Paradise on the Gold Coast. I went unconscious just before being rescued by lifeguards in a rescue boat. My best friend almost drowned trying to save me, but he never left my side. We are still best friends today.

Three people you’d love to have for a Sunday roast, living or passed: Chiune (Sempo) Sugihara, Jordan Peterson, and King Solomon.

SOME people enter this world and it’s very clear they are here to make a difference.

Woon Ooi is not your everyday corporate dad or tradie dad.

His day job has seen him come face to face with some of the most confronting situations imaginableincluding being on the front line in the Bourke Street massacre, hostage negotiations, going undercover to buy illicit drugs from traffickers, and coaxing people off the top of buildings and bridges.

Son of a minister, Woon’s adolescent backstory is every parent’s worst nightmare – gangs, expulsions, you name it!

But somehow, all the danger and rebellion of those formative years shaped him into an outstanding human with a drive and passion for helping others.

When you hear about his career you might picture a hardened, desensitised man.

But quite the contrary - Woon wears his heart on his sleeve, has an endless capacity for helping people in need, is an amazing father, a loyal and caring husband, and would give you the shirt off his back.

His lived experience has gifted him with a humble wisdom that is evident as soon as you talk to him.

Woon, can you give us a snapshot of life before babies? Childhood, school life, ambitions?

I had my first baby when I was 20 years old. She is 24 this year, so I was only a baby myself.

Life before babies was school, university, business college, and working part-time in a dim-sim factory and a restaurant.

I deferred my university studies, finished business college, and started at the Victoria Police Academy in 2001.

School life was tough. I was born in Malaysia and migrated to Australia in 1985.

We started life in a little town on the other side of Melbourne called Frankston.

I was the only Asian kid at Frankston Primary School and on my first day of school (in Prep), I was beaten up so badly that I required stitches on the top of my head.

When I was 7, we moved to Geelong, and it wasn’t much better.

I was expelled from school in Grade 2 for defending myself. Shamefully, I became a bully myself.

When I was 10, I joined a gang and by the time I was 14, I was couch surfing and at times sleeping rough. I had no ambitions; life was about survival. I was expelled from three high schools before managing to complete my VCE.

How did you meet your amazing wife, Amy, and what makes her so special? I met Amy in 2004 at a volunteers’ training session which I was facilitating.

We hit it off straight away.

Her best quality is the superpower I wish I had. She can remember the finest detail about everyone, everything, and every conversation.

She makes everyone around hereven those she only met once - feel like the most important person because she remembers everything they said, even if their encounter was years before.

Her ability to connect with people is very natural and yet supernatural.

Were you there for the birth of your babies? How was that experience? I was there for the birth of all my babies! It was the most incredible experience.

Our best friend (a midwife) delivered our babies in a home birth setting.

She was with us before having kids, with us through pregnancy, birth of our kids, and is still a significant part of our babies’ lives. Our girls call her Aunty Judy.

You’ve worked in fields that would terrify the average person. Can you give us a snapshot of your career highlights and lowlights? What inspired you to head into such a challenging field?

In 2000, I was studying at business college and Victoria Police was recruiting.

I applied for the Victoria Police and the full-time Army at the same time but decided to take the policing option.

My career was rather unusual. I was one of two Mandarin speaking officers at the time.

I graduated from the Academy and went to the City Patrol Group to complete a three-month posting in the city.

Amy and Woon with daughters Lulu, 6, Isla, 9, and Nevadah, 23 Pictures: Louisa Jones

It’sYourLife

I completed my mandatory threeday traffic direction course, and on the fourth day I reported for duty at the section sergeant’s desk and he sent me to the senior sergeant’s office.

The senior sergeant said, “Don’t bother sitting down”, as he handed me a report.

I said, “What does secondment mean?”

He replied, “It means pack your bags, you’re out of here. There is a car outside waiting for you.”

I was taken to St Kilda Road Police Complex where I worked in the kidnapping unit for a number of months, listening to recorded phone conversations, listening devices, and conducting real-time surveillance.

After that I worked in plain clothes drug investigations, buying heroin from drug dealers on the streets.

I then spent three years in the Melbourne Sexual Offences and Child Abuse Unit. This is really where I began my journey and passion in looking into how people communicate to influence others.

My job was meeting complete strangers in their most vulnerable state and making a connection to elicit the best evidence that we could use to mount a strong case, ultimately seeking justice for the victims.

After three years I needed a change and became a specialist weapons instructor.

I learned how to use my voice to teach and train police officers, and how to use structure in language to achieve the highest possible training outcomes in the shortest amount of time.

I did that for three years before taking a promotion to the Police Academy as a senior instructor. There I developed programs, trained other trainers, and advised on a number of committees including the Coroners Court of Victoria.

In 2011 I joined the Critical Incident Response Team (CIRT), which became the best 11 years of my career.

After completing my basic operators’ course, I qualified as a Close Personal Protection operative, Siege Hostage Negotiator and eventually became a Tactical Commander.

I was involved in many critical incidents including the 2017 Bourke Street Massacre, which became the tipping point of many years of unprocessed emotions.

A year after the Bourke Street incident, I was diagnosed with PTSD and sent off work for seven months.

I was determined to ‘get well’, return to work, and leave on my own terms.

I did, and went on to perform duties at higher ranks for another five years.

As a CIRT operator, on a daily basis I encountered people in crisis and sometimes truly believing that day was their last on earth.

I had the incredible privilege of sitting in that final moment with them and helping them see that there were more days to come for them.

I joined Victoria Police to make a difference. I left Victoria Police for the same reason.

I now work with people in so many different contexts.

I work with high performing teams, CEOs and senior executives running large corporations with over 3500 employees.

They all want the same thing: to make a difference in this world, and leave a legacy.

The formula is the same. Help people become great communicators, teach them how to make genuine human connections, and lead people to positive outcomes.

Your work is something not many of us would be cut out for - what is the secret to staying calm in such high-pressure situations?

The mind is an incredible machine. It has limitless resources. Learning how to access those resources has changed my life.

The unconscious mind processes a lot more than our conscious mind can.

The mind also loves to be in control. It is also a pattern recognition machine. If it encounters a situation that it doesn’t recognise it will process the situation as a threat.

A threat response is typically a flight, fight or freeze response. However, it is difficult to predict your response unless you have developed a pattern of response.

I do think being prepared is advantageous and responsible, especially if you are in charge of little lives.

It also puts you back in the driver’s seat and puts your mind at ease, because you have a plan. A simple IF/ THEN exercise will help greatly.

You can say to your child, “If you get lost, wait at the information booth and I will find you there.”

During a pressure situation, ‘box breathing’ is very effective: Look at a square object. Count to four seconds while breathing in and following the top edge of the square object with your eyes. Now hold for four seconds while following the right edge of the square object down one side. Now breathe out for four seconds while following the bottom edge of the square object. Now hold for four seconds while following the left edge of the square object up the other side.

Do this for two minutes and you will feel amazing.

You must consciously think about breathing (that way), which means you have to activate the part of your brain which is responsible for thinking, problem solving, and regulating your emotions.

In the negotiator world, we call this ‘brain online’.

Another way to prevent or reduce a survival stress response is to practise gratitude, empathy and mindfulness (eg box breathing) every day.

Research has shown that this practice will reduce activity in the part of your brain that triggers your survival stress responses.

That’s such great advice! I know that in your ‘spare time’ you are also heavily involved in charity work. Can you tell us about the work you do in that space?

In support of the Australian Consulate, I went over to Bali in 2014 to set up a Safety Response Program to help young Australians to stay safe while partying in Bali, particularly during the ‘schoolies’ season.

Around that time, methanol poisoning was on the rise, and we assisted in airlifting a number of young people to Australia for emergency medical treatment.

While I was there, I met a guy from Australia (Geoff) that was in Bali working with disadvantaged communities, teaching English and numeracy.

In 2015, my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu coach and I ran a 33.5-hour continuous grappling class, breaking the world record and raising $10,000 to start a BJJ academy in Bali, which Geoff now runs.

That BJJ academy is now a school with two campuses teaching over 250 students and reaching over 500 members from disadvantaged communities in Bali who are not able to access education and services.

We also provide food aid, which began during lockdowns, and we now collaborate with hotel associations to distribute food that is close to expiry date.

How would you describe your parenting style?

I would describe my parenting style as ‘doing the best I can with the resources I have’.

I believe that is true for every parent.

I also believe that ‘every person has the resources within them to succeed and achieve whatever outcomes they desire’.

It is also vitally important to be ‘kind and gentle to yourself’ when you don’t respond in a way that you are proud of, because ‘there is no failure, only feedback’.

Pick yourself up and try again.

What have you found to be the hardest thing about parenting?

The hardest thing about parenting is probably the same for most people - the consistency and persistence that is required, because the rewards are so far into the future that it is hard to stay focused and motivated on doing the best you can now.

Something I discovered in negotiation that is incredibly powerful is ‘rapport building’ with your kids.

In fact, it is vitally important. Without rapport, it is difficult, if not impossible to lead or influence anyone, including children.

How often do you tell your partner you love them? Imagine if you said to them, “I told you that I love you on our wedding day. If that changes, I will let you know.”

Kids are the same. We need to seek to build rapport with our kids all the time, especially if you want them to learn a lesson.

A few weeks ago, my nine-year-old Isla was very disrespectful towards Amy at a netball match.

Amy had the wisdom and patience to let it go at the time, and then asked me to address the issue in the morning.

The following morning, Isla came into our room (at the same time), said good morning (as she normally does) and asked to go downstairs to watch TV (which is her normal routine).

However, on this particular morning, I told her to hop in bed with me.

Now, this is out of routine for her, so I could immediately anticipate that her survival stress response was being activated. Even a child needs to feel in control and of course, the need to be right.

I spent five minutes getting into rapport with her, to bring her survival stress response down and to bring her ‘brain online’, because I was about to discuss something very important.

Something that would mould her character and make her a better human being, and become more socialised, which is, after all, our primary objective as parents.

Once her brain was ‘online’ she was able to regulate her mood, receive feedback without being defensive, rationalise, identify what made her angry, and be disrespectful to her mother (the night before), problem solve and develop solutions herself on how to manage her emotions more constructively in the future.

The alternative would have been to cause an argument with her that would have lasted all day, and maybe into the next day.

Negotiating with my kids requires me to focus on the objective. The opposite is turning the situation into a contest.

In a contest, there is a winner and a loser, and nobody likes to lose, and you will not win a contest (especially with your kids) by presenting more rational and convincing points.

If you focus on the objective (which is to socialise your child and turn them into productive members of society) then there is nothing that child can say to you to bait you into a contest.

The best thing about family is that you love each other no matter what.

You aren’t going anywhere, which means you get to fail and try again as many times as you need.

Just remember to be kind and gentle to yourself and ‘there is no failure, only feedback’.

Gosh, Woon, you have so much wisdom to share with our readers. If you had one sign-off message, what would that be?

Something I had to learn the hard way and now I tell myself daily: “Be really kind and gentle to yourself.”

It’sYourLife

A new hub for First Nations youth

YOUNG First Nations people in Geelong now have access to tailored services and support in one place.

The Wathaurong Aboriginal Cooperative opened Karroong Kanyool –’Home of the Young’ - in Norlane in March.

The culturally safe gathering place will connect young First Nations people with each other and clinical, social, and emotional wellbeing services, strengthen their life skills, and offer cultural activities.

Wathaurong designed Karroong Kanyool in consultation with the community’s youth.

It features new consulting suites for visiting health and wellbeing specialists, a play area, computer and TV rooms, meeting rooms, and an outdoor basketball court with a key in the colours of the Aboriginal flag.

The outdoor space also includes gathering space for men’s and women’s business, a central firepit for yarning circles, and a deck connected to the indoor function space.

The hub on Forster Street originally opened in 1984 as one of the first homes for Wathaurong, which formed in 1980.

The co-op moved to Morgan Street, North Geelong in 1996, leaving the Forster Street site as an additional community space for ad-hoc events and programs.

Jordan Edwards, Lachlan Edwards, and Shantelle Baillie raised the Aboriginal flag at the launch. They led the initial youth consultation process for the hub from 2020.

Community members shared

memories of raising their kids at the site in the ‘80s and ‘90s at the event, and Wathaurong CEO Simon Flagg shared the board’s vision for the next generation.

“Wathaurong has listened to our young people, and we are thrilled to finally deliver on a space that has been developed by and for our young mob,” he said.

“Our youth are our future, our Elders of tomorrow, and we want them to grow and become our leaders through the programs and supports we offer here.”

The State Government invested more than $1.6 million in the hub through its Aboriginal Community Infrastructure Program.

“When First Nations Victorians run the services and supports that young people in their communities need, we see better outcomes,” Treaty and First Peoples Minister Natalie Hutchins said.

“Community-led projects like this one change young peoples’ lives every day.”

Parliamentary Secretary for First Peoples Christine Couzens attended the opening.

“First Nations Young People need a culturally safe and supported place to connect with community and culture,” she said.

“The Wathaurong Aboriginal Cooperative has created a great space for Young First Nations People and families to access the services in the one location.”

Visit www.wathaurong.org.au for more information about Karroong Kanyool programs.

It’sYourLife

A special space to grieve

By Casey Neill

ONE couple has turned their pain into a healing sanctuary for other parents who have lost a child.

Hayden and Sheree Ballinger founded Forever Held Foundation on their Naringal dairy farm.

“It came out of our own journey,” Sheree said.

“We have five children.

“We feel so incredibly grateful, but part of the journey of growing our family was experiencing five miscarriages.”

In May 2018 they lost their son Jamin after 18 weeks of pregnancy.

“The grief that followed was overwhelming for a really lengthy period of time for me,” Sheree said.

“It was compounded grief - I hadn’t fully acknowledged or slowed after each to take that time to grieve.

“When this happened it was layer upon layer and it forced me to a stop.

“I would go for a walk or a run down our farm road and past this piece of land we had purchased about 10 years before.

“The idea came on a run, to make space for parents to stay, a retreat.

“At the time it felt like a dream.

“We didn’t know if it would be possible.”

But the Ballingers finished the no-cost short-stay Forever Held haven for other loss parents in October 2022.

“Our vision was to create space to grieve,” Sheree said.

“Grief is a really natural part of life.

“In our Australian culture we often don’t know how to handle that.

“We hope that any parent who’s experiencing the loss of a child knows that their story matters and they’re not alone.

“We’ve had some really encouraging feedback even months after a stay.

“It helped them to feel seen and heard.

“One thing that we also hear is how there’s a certain sacredness to the space.

“They appreciate that only loss parents have stayed in the retreat.

“There’s some sort of connection because of that.”

Sheree designed the space very intentionally.

“We wanted to make it feel different to a hotel,” she said.

“We wanted to use as many natural materials as possible - timber, stone, natural light.

“We can’t always physically be there to sit with everyone who comes to stay, but we wanted to wrap each person with love.

“They walk in and feel the warmth, and that there’s people who really care about what they’re going through.

“It’s also off-grid. There’s very limited phone reception, no Wi-Fi, no TV.

“It’s just that chance to switch off.

“It can initially feel confronting. It is a slowing down, it is a switching off.”

The Ballingers provide an art and journalling space for guests.

“They share their story if they’d like to, if that’s going to help them in their healing,” she said.

“There’s no rules for any of it.

“We want people to be able to come and simply be themselves and have their grief acknowledged.”

The retreat is a family affair, with the kids often helping Sheree and Hayden set up for guests.

“Child loss has been very much part of our story,” she said.

“It’s not something we’d ever choose, but I think they’ve been able to see how we’ve used those hard parts of our story to be an encouragement for others.

“I think it’s definitely helped them to grow in their understanding that life carries those beautiful joys but it does carry pain.

“It’s not one or the other, it’s often both alongside each other. “It’s given them an appreciation of that aspect of life.

“I hope it helps them understand how to reach out to others in their pain.”

Sheree said speaking about child loss with her living children had been hard.

“When we experienced our first few miscarriages our children were quite young so it was hard to be open and to know how much to be open about it,” she said.

“They knew and they were looking

forward to a brother and a baby in our family.

“There’d be times when tears would just come.

“(My daughter) would come and sit next to me on the couch and just snuggle in for a cuddle.

“They don’t try to run away from it.

“They are happy to just sit in that place and give you a hug or talk about it or draw you a picture.

“I would say ‘I’m feeling really sad today because of Jamin’.

“Mums do have sad, hard days too.

“I didn’t feel like I had to pretend with them.”

The Ballingers would take family camping trips around difficult milestones.

“That is one of the most common times people reach out to make a booking is a first anniversary of a loss or around a birth date,” Sheree said.

“It would have made a world of difference to us.

“We are a fully registered charity. We do take donations to support the ongoing costs of each stay. We provide meals, as an option, plus basic supplies.”

To donate or become a corporate sponsor, email info@foreverheld.org.au.

It’sYourLife

Stepping out of the shadow

By Casey Neill

A young male survivor is giving hope to children stuck in the shadow of family violence.

Conor Pall, 20, is determined to use his lived experience to drive change in several ways, including writing The Shadow that Follows.

“I wrote the book when the shadow was really big and scary, so when I was in Year 11 and 12, when I was really going through the impacts of family violence,” he said.

“Someone called it bibliotherapy. It was very therapeutic writing the book.

“I don’t want what happened to me to continue to happen to children and young people.”

Conor, the youngest Victorian Victim Survivor’s Advisory Council member, said one in three women and one in nine men experienced family violence.

“Ninety-seven percent of violence in Australia is committed by men, towards women, towards men, towards children,” he said.

“The common denominator in the story about family violence is men.

“We need to be supporting our young men to heal from family violence.

“You talk to perpetrators and the common thread is that they experienced some sort of violence when they were young.

“Hurt people, hurt people.

“What are we doing to support young boys today to tell them this behaviour is not acceptable in our society?

“There’s no time for tiptoeing around.

“We can’t continue to frame this as a women’s issue.

“It hasn’t worked.

“It’s not violence against women, it’s male violence. It’s male-perpetrated violence.

“With the next stage of the reforms in Victoria, particularly, men and young boys have been identified as agents of generational change.

“For us to break the cycle and stop family violence in one generation, which is in line with the national plan, we’re going to need to bring men along to the issue.”

Conor said The Shadow that Follows was designed to be used with care and with a safe adult.

“It’s being distributed to schools and refuges in Victoria,” he said.

“It’s not a mainstream children’s book. It’s an educational resource.

“I wish there was a resource like this when I was a kid.

“I didn’t have the language to understand that what I was going through was wrong.“I didn’t have someone to tell me that what I was going through wasn’t normal.

“My schools weren’t having those conversations when I was going through family violence.

“It’s now embedded.

“They’re difficult conversations for teachers to approach.

“That doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile doing.

“If a teacher had asked me if I was OK, or noticed I’d been absent from school, I probably would have started my journey of healing a lot sooner.

“I was a class clown and would get in trouble a bit at school.

“Those behaviours are warning signs.

“Research shows that if kids are exhibiting challenging behaviours or unhelpful behaviours in the classroom, we can’t be punitive in response.

“We need to be respectfully curious and not just think because a kid’s misbehaving that they’re a bad kid.”

School was a safe space for Conor.

“That’s where I went to decompress,” he said.

“I remember instances of sitting in the classroom just watching the clock and counting down to when I’d have to go home.

“I was 9 or 10 going through those emotions and didn’t have anyone to talk to about those emotions.

“Get comfortable with having those uncomfortable conversations.

“We’re talking about lives.”

The Shadow that Follows includes the message that it takes one person to make a change.

“My mum was that one person that took a stand against the shadow,” Conor said.

“Others followed.

“The people I’ve had supporting me through the impacts of family violence have made me the young advocate I am today.

“Survivors make the best advocates.

“So often the common thread throughout our stories is you don’t have a voice for years.

“We suppress our emotions.

“When we have this space to heal and recover, people tend to want to watch out when we start to use our voice to make change.”

Conor received a Victorian Young Achiever of the Year Award in 2022 for his advocacy.

He’s now studying social work at RMIT University and hopes to pair this with a master’s in public policy with a view to working in policy.

Making every smile shine

BALYANG Dental is a new dental clinic that focuses on providing exceptional dental care for children while also catering to patients of all ages.

Its mission is to ensure that every visit is a positive experience, promoting lifelong dental health from the very first tooth.

At the heart of Balyang Dental is Dr Neha Raman, a highly experienced dentist with a passion for paediatric care.

With more than 20 years of experience and the last six years spent serving families in the area, Dr Raman is well-known for her gentle and patient approach with children.

She understands that a trip to the dentist can be daunting for little ones, and she is dedicated to creating a friendly and comforting environment.

Early and regular dental check-ups are crucial for maintaining healthy teeth and gums in children.

These visits help in the early detection of potential issues, ensuring that they can be addressed before becoming serious problems.

Regular dental care also establishes good oral hygiene habits that last a lifetime.

Dr Raman and her team emphasise education and preventative care, teaching children and parents alike the importance of brushing, flossing, and healthy eating habits.

Balyang Dental is not just for kids. It offers a full range of dental services for adults as well, ensuring that every member of the family receives the highest quality care.

From routine cleanings and exams to advanced restorative procedures, the clinic is equipped with the latest technology to provide comprehensive dental care in a warm and welcoming atmosphere.

Visit Balyang Dental and meet Dr Raman and her dedicated team.

They are committed to making dental visits a positive and stress-free experience for everyone. Your smile is their top priority, and the team looks forward to helping you maintain a healthy, beautiful smile for years to come. Come see

Resilience initiative kicks off

By Matt Hewson

STUDENTS at five Geelong schools are learning mental health strategies that could support their whole community.

More than 2000 students took part in four interactive presentations in April as part of a two-year program with The Resilience Project, delivered through a partnership between GMHBA and Geelong Football Club.

Kids from the Geelong East, Lara, Newcomb, and Whittington primary schools visited GMHBA Stadium for the first sessions, while Western Heights Secondary College hosted events.

The Resilience Project facilitator Martin Heppell presented the dynamic and energetic sessions, which also featured Geelong AFL and AFLW players.

Geelong footballer Tanner Bruhn said the Cats players were all “really keen and eager to be on board” to help the program combat the growing mental health crisis among young people.

“Mental health is such a big thing in society today, so we’re really looking forward to helping

kids with strategies and trying to spread as much positive energy as we can,” Bruhn said.

Heppell, a former primary school assistant principal who played football at the AFL and SANFL level, said it was “massive” having Geelong footballers help deliver the program.

“First of all, it’s about trying to inspire the adults to model behaviours and strategies for the kids to adopt,” he said.

“When they have people who they look up to (and) respect model and talk about things that could benefit them, that’s quite often when we see movement with the kids.”

GMHBA chief executive David Greig hopes The Resilience Project could have a “network effect” on the Geelong community.

“The goal is actually to take the community on a bit of a journey, for the program to actually reach into the community through the schools,” he said.

“We hope it can create a broader environment within the community where people can be more resilient, practise these mental health skills...and together build a more resilient community.”

Helping kids to enjoy their time on the pitch

AUSTRALIA’S next generation of footballers have the chance to hone their skills at a series of fun, engaging and globally recognised holiday programs across Geelong and the Surf Coast.

Led by former Socceroo and Olympian Adrian Leijer, the Coerver Coaching program will run sessions in Geelong and Torquay over the July school holidays.

Inspired by Dutch maestro Wiel Coerver, the programs suit all ages and abilities and have become increasingly sought after by parents.

Mr Leijer launched Coerver Coaching in Geelong and the Surf Coast in 2022 and demand for places in the weekly and holiday programs continues to grow.

“Coerver is so effective because it’s for all ages and levels with an emphasis on fun,” Mr Leijer said.

“The kids respond to the learning styles and techniques from our great

team of coaches and as well as seeing clear improvement in skills, parents often comment on their child’s increased enjoyment of the game.”

Coerver Coaching forms the foundation of top academies around the world like Arsenal, Bayern Munich and Manchester United.

It also influences national federations, including World Cup finalist France and Asian powerhouse Japan.

As a former Olympian, Championship winner and captain of Melbourne Victory FC, Leijer is mindful of the challenges aspiring athletes face in regional areas.

His career took him from the A-League to the English Premier League, Chinese Super League and Korea’s K-League.

“I’m fortunate that football took me around the world and has given me the opportunity to share my experience

and knowledge with local kids and my own two daughters,” he said.

“My goal is to provide a foundation for children of all levels to develop a love for our great game.”

Coerver Coaching will be running holiday programs in Geelong and Torquay throughout July. For more information visit coerver.com.au

Geelong Cats players Kate Darby and Tanner Bruhn with Jack and Isla. Picture: Ivan Kemp

Education

Students ‘hesitant’ to sign on to university

By Casey Neill

TODAY’S high schoolers are more worried about study debt and increasingly likely to take a gap year, says one career coach.

Geelong mum and teacher Danielle Flack has worked in career education in secondary schools for 13 years.

“The last couple of years I’ve noticed young people’s attitudes and aspirations towards work and further education changing,” she said.

“I’m seeing lots more teenagers wanting to take gap years.

“There’s a lot more hesitation about committing to university.”

Danielle recently started a PhD in career education and has just written a book on the topic - Career Planning Handbook: Navigating Your Future Career and Work Life.

“I basically wrote the book with my teenage self in mind,” she said.

“What do I wish I knew back then? What would I have found helpful?

“I was the first in my family to attend university, and despite getting an ATAR in the high 90s, I really struggled with adjusting to uni life.

“I actually changed courses three times in three years.

“This experience made me passionate about helping young people like myself, who just don’t know where to start and maybe don’t have the support or resources at home.”

So Danielle collated the information and advice she gave to her students.

“I’ve broken it down into the steps that I would take if I was in their shoes,” she said.

“I thought about the questions I regularly get asked from young people.

“It’s the first time they’re making a decision that potentially has long-term implications.

“For a lot of young people, that causes so much stress and anxiety.

“I wanted to convey that it’s OK if you don’t know what you want to do or if you make a mistake or you change your mind or if you try something and it’s not quite right.”

She said many of her students were “really tired” by the time VCE rolled around.

“They’re tired from being through Covid, then returning to school, and I just feel like a lot of them don’t want to rush into making a decision,” she said.

“They just want a moment to pause and reflect.”

That often means a gap year, which Danielle encourages - so long as they make it profitable by doing something meaningful.

“That could look like working a part-time job, building up your skills,” she said.

“Or doing a short course at TAFE that is an interest area for you.

“A lot of my students who may be

interested in becoming nurses or teachers, they might say ‘on the side I’m actually really interested in makeup’.

“Do the certificate.

“When you go back to uni, you can start your own business on the side and earn money while being flexible around university.

“A lot of them just want to travel.

“I think that’s an excellent way to get a bit more independent, get organised, learn how to manage their time, be a little bit more resilient.”

Another factor in students electing to delay a decision on further education is the Higher Education Contribution Scheme (HECS).

“That whole conversation about having the HECS debt and indexation, you wouldn’t think that young people would be thinking about that, but in the last two to three years it is so common for Year 12 students to come in and ask ‘how much does this course cost?’,” she said.

“Previously no one would ever ask.”

Danielle introduces students to career education in Year 7 by building self-awareness.

“We start with what are they curious about, what do they like to do, what are they good at,” she said.

In Year 8 she introduces activities like ranking jobs from lowest to highest salary, busting myths and misconceptions, and investigating the level of study or training behind different roles. At Year 9 and 10 Danielle shifts the focus to shaping the kids as future employees.

“We look at part-time jobs, resumes, cover letters, job interview skills, their rights in the workplace…then start planning for senior secondary school and beyond,” she said.

For Year 11 and 12 students, Danielle’s interactions focus on making

way, she provides parents with conversation starters to use at home and shares information explaining the different pathways.

“So we still have a lot of misunderstanding, maybe misinformation, about TAFE and about apprenticeships, and what is a good career and how do you get there,” she said.

“A lot of the work we do is on educating parents as well.

“One thing we’re trying to do this year is to provide a little bit more information about the future of work.

“There is a lot of anxiety, worry, confusion about what the future of work is going to look like.

“We’re trying to use that as an opportunity to explain what skills might be needed, how to develop them, and highlight some of the growing industries.”

Danielle’s PhD will look at the hopes and aspirations of young people in relation to work, education and training with a regional lens. She moved to Geelong from Melbourne

three years ago.

“It is quite different here,” she said.

“There’s two camps: ‘I have to escape from Geelong the second I can’ or ‘No I can’t leave, this is where my family is’.

“It’s a passionate commitment one way or the other.

“When I lived in Melbourne I had traditionally worked in Catholic schools.

“I worked in the western suburbs so I worked with a lot of young people who were first in the family going to university, a lot of students who were looking at apprenticeships or trainee pathways.

“Most wouldn’t consider studying overseas or interstate.

“In Geelong, young people will consider studying interstate, that’s just a normal thing.

“We’ll look at universities in Queensland, New South Wales, Tasmania.

“I’ve got lots of young people interested in studying overseas.”

You can find Danielle on Instagram at danielle_thecareercoach.

Opportunities for excellence Education

NORTH Geelong Secondary College is a creative, caring and diverse college, where young people grow into autonomous learners by engaging with imaginative and intellectually rigorous programs.

The school community is a friendly and supportive environment, underpinned by the values of respect, excellence, achievement and diversity.

NGSC is proud to offer several excellence programs:

■ Scholarship Program;

■ Select Entry Accelerated Learning (SEAL) Program;

■ Advancement via Individual Determination (AVID);

■ Strive to Achieve Results (STAR);

■ Achieving Core Education (ACE) Programs; and

■ Excellence in Sport (EIS) Program.

The Scholarship Program promotes and recognises outstanding commitment by school students who have displayed a strong involvement in their school community.

Scholarships are available in academic excellence, student leadership, community, sporting excellence, and the arts.

The scholarships are valued at about $5000 and recipients will be Grade 6 students who will be attending North Geelong Secondary College in Year 7 the following year.

The SEAL Program provides a focused educational environment for academically oriented students.

SEAL classes incorporate a fast-paced curriculum, with less repetition than mainstream classes.

The subjects studied are sufficiently advanced, delivered at a pace to sustain interest and challenge the learners to engage in abstract thinking and conceptualisation at a high level.

Learners are given the opportunity to undertake a range of subjects across the key learning areas and are encouraged to explore special areas of interest through different programs.

AVID is the only program of its kind in Geelong and underpins the SEAL program and prepares students with the skills to succeed in senior and post secondary education.

STAR is an innovative literacy and numeracy program unique to the college.

This program identifies students who have the potential to become future ‘stars’ and achieve outstanding results in Years 7 to 9.

Using achievement data and teacher feedback, the school establishes students’ individual needs and tailor either a literacy or numeracy program to develop, consolidate and nurture their skills.

The ACE Program aims to improve the numeracy and literacy development of students who are performing below the expected level.

The EIS Program develops students’ sport specific skills, knowledge and practical application in their chosen sports of Australian rules, soccer or volleyball.

It also extends into crucial areas like sport science, wellbeing, nutrition, and physical conditioning.

Emphasising a balanced and healthy lifestyle, the EIS program supports students in pursuing both personal sporting and academic objectives.

Parents and guardians are welcome to visit and see the school in operation.

To find out more and book a personalised tour of North Geelong Secondary College, call 5240 5800 or email north.geelong.sc@education.vic. gov.au.

A chance to shine

CRACKERJACK Kids is dedicated to unlocking the potential within every child.

Its mission is to provide specialised instruction in literacy, numeracy, and school readiness, catering to children and adolescents with specific learning differences such as dyslexia, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia.

Crackerjack sets itself apart with its commitment to delivering multisensory instruction and evidencebased programs.

It uses Orton Gillingham-based methods for teaching reading and spelling, as well as multi-sensory approaches for teaching math concepts.

This ensures that every child receives tailored support that suits their unique learning needs.

The Crackerjack Kids team believes in the power of collaboration.

The proverb “It takes a village to raise a child” resonates deeply with the team.

Staff work closely with parents, carers, and schoolteachers to provide holistic support for their students.

They offer resources and guidance to help parents and teachers understand and assist with students’ learning journeys.

Crackerjack programs start with an initial assessment to determine the best course of action for each child.

Whether it’s screening assessments for dyslexia, multi-sensory instruction for numeracy, or Crackerjack’s school readiness program, the team is there to help every child reach their full potential.

Join Crackerjack Kids, where every child deserves the chance to shine.

Call 0400 816 105 or email contact@crackerjackkids.com.au to learn more and schedule an assessment.

Together, you and Crackerjack can empower your child for a brighter future.

Unlock creativity, confidence

AS we say goodbye to autumn and welcome winter, there’s never been a better time to explore the immersive arts experiences on offer inside Geelong Arts Centre.

In the July school holidays, The Australian Ballet Education and Outreach team bring an abundance of opportunities for kids to get connected and explore the world of dance through warm-ups, exercises and choreographic games.

No previous dance experience is required!

On 8 July, dancers aged 3 to 5 are invited to attend the Australian Ballet - Dancing Story workshop.

This 45-minute session explores the story of Wonderland (Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll) guided by professional ballet dancers.

These sessions are fun for preschoolers and enhance their development by building kinetic skills, boosting confidence in collaborative settings, and fostering sequencing and literacy skills.

From 9 to 12 July, children aged 6 to 8 and 9 to 12 can take part in the Australian Ballet School Holiday Residency.

This immersive four-day program allows children to celebrate their love

for dance while fostering confidence, resilience, and teamwork.

As they explore the themes of the Wonderland performance, young dancers will also gain insights into costume design, music, and storytelling.

Rounding out the residency program, participants will showcase their newfound skills and creativity to friends and family from 1pm to 2pm on Friday 12 July.

The final day also features a performance of Wonderland by the Australian Ballet Education and Outreach team.

Adding to the excitement, Geelong Arts Centre is proud to present The Peasant Prince, based on the book by Li Cunxin, the children’s version of his best-selling memoir Mao’s Last Dancer.

This moving performance on the 8 August is a story of courage, resilience and unwavering hope Additionally, the announcement of Geelong Arts Centre’s Wonder Children’s Festival promises a two-week-long adventure from 12 to 26 September filled with creativity and fun for kids.

Visit geelongartscentre.org.au for tickets.

FAMILY MAGIC

We respectfully acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which the Geelong Arts Centre stands, the Wadawurrung People of the Kulin Nation. We pay our respects to Elders past, to Elders present and to emerging leaders, recognising their continuing connection to land, water, culture and community.

Please note: all information within this ad is correct at time of print.

Extra screening to save lives DISABILITYservices

VICTORIAN newborns will now be screened for two additional rare but serious health conditions.

The move is designed to help identify babies at risk of developing illnesses and ensure they receive lifesaving treatment sooner.

Premier Jacinta Allan and Medical Research Minister Ben Carroll visited the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute (MCRI) in March.

They announced the Newborn Bloodspot Screening Programcommonly known as the heel prick test - would screen for spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) and severe combined immunodeficiency (SCID).

The addition of SCID and SMA will see the program test babies for 29 uncommon conditions, ensuring parents can get their children early treatment so they live long, healthy lives.

“No parent wants to even think about their child being sick – but newborn screening means babies with serious health conditions get the very best care for the very best chance in life,” Ms Allan said.

In Victoria, about two babies per year will be born with SCID and eight with SMA.

Weakening the immune system, SCID affects the body’s ability to fight infections due to compromised white blood cells, but early diagnosis and stem cell treatment before three-and-ahalf months can be lifesaving.

Identifying newborns with SCID will enable access to a new gene therapy trial delivered by the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute and announced by the government last year – the first time a cure has been offered in Australia.

SMA is a serious disease causing progressive muscle wastage and weakness that is life-threatening without treatment.

There is no cure but early intervention and new treatments are improving outcomes.

The State Government has invested more than $1 million to roll out the additional screening, including adding congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH) to the program last year.

CAH is a serious but treatable condition that affects the production of hormones. If caught early, babies who receive proper treatment can lead full lives.

The program is offered to the parents of all newborns within their first 72 hours of life, at no cost. Last year more than

73,000 Victorian newborns were screened.

Newborn bloodspot screening started in Victoria in 1966, with more than 3.6 million babies screened to date. One in 1000 are found to have a rare but serious condition such as congenital hypothyroidism and cystic fibrosis.

Crossing the Gap’s ‘special’ team

STAFF are the backbone of any business, but when it comes to disability support services the quality and care of staff is critical.

That’s why Geelong’s Crossing the Gap Disability Services company director Kristy Browning has focused on assembling a team of “amazing and genuine” staff members.

“They have such compassion and a desire to help people succeed in life,” Kristy said.

“They’ve each got their own backstory, and each one of them brings something different.

“My team is absolutely fantastic, and I wouldn’t be able to do what I do as a company owner without them working behind me.”

Personal care assistance worker Erin, who has her own children but also takes foster children into her home, believes she has found her calling at Crossing the Gap.

“I don’t look at what I do daily as a job, I look at it as my life’s calling to provide this service to my clients.” Erin said.

Crossing the Gap’s newest staff member Corey brings a wealth of knowledge in health, fitness and rehabilitation to the team.

“I have an interest in providing optimal health and fitness outcomes through exercising, injury rehabilitation and education,” Corey said.

“Although my background has been in high performance training, I have taken a keen interest in rehabilitation, as I have lived through and experienced that from start to finish myself.

“I am committed to helping others in their rehab or fitness journeys.”

Support worker Suzie was previously a beauty therapist, but fell in love with the job after helping support a friend’s mother.

“I love meeting different clients with different needs and helping them reach their goals,” Suzie said.

“I enjoy being there to support them on their bad days.

“I help them celebrate their achievements, however big or small they may be.

“I love helping them to maintain their independence and bringing joy into their day.

“Each client teaches me something different.”

Having been diagnosed with ADHD and ADD as a young person, support worker Jemma brings her personal experience to the job.

“I understand now that I can be myself, but I wanted to show others that they are important and they can be themselves,” Jemma said.

“I love working with Crossing the Gap. It’s very rewarding; you’re helping those in need and it brings me joy.”

Kristy described support worker Donald as a “calm and chilled, gentle fatherfigure”.

“I’m fun-loving and family-orientated, I have been in Australia for about nine years now and it’s been nothing but an amazing experience for me,” Donald said.

“Most of all, I am a caring person who likes to have a laugh.”

To find out more about Crossing the Gap’s services and start getting help from the team you deserve, contact Kristy Browning at kristy@ctgdisability.com.au or 0493 057 276.

Appeal for nappy stress support

THE Nappy Collective is helping parents in desperate need as cost of living pressures hit hard.

The community-based charity collects donations of new and leftover nappies - ones that little ones have grown out of or no longer need - and pass them onto community partners who support families in need.

It started with a group of mums who found a handful of nappies their toddlers no longer fit.

After considering what to do with only six nappies – Pass them onto a friend? Keep them for the next child? Throw them out? - they began to wonder if other parents were in a similar predicament.

“What if we were able to collect all these leftover nappies and distribute them to families in crisis or in need?” the group said.

“Collectively these handfuls of nappies could make a big difference.”

The group launched its first collection drive via Facebook in 2013 and received 1500 nappies within two weeks.

It has since expanded to more than 650 collection points across Australia and distributed more than 6.8 million nappies.

Minister for Children Lizzie Blandthorn and Albert Park MP Nina Taylor met with The Nappy Collective in May to hear about its work to build new community partnerships and expand donation points.

“Given the current cost of living pressures impacting many Victorian households, the work of The Nappy Collective is even more important with the charity establishing new community partnerships and nappy donation points across Victoria,” Ms Blandthorn said.

“Being a new parent is one of the most incredible, yet challenging experiences –and for Victorians experiencing vulnerability or in crisis, this work provides significant relief when they need it most.”

The Nappy Collective received $110,000 from the State Government in September last year, plus $100,000 in January this year to launch two new programs.

The School Collective and Corporate Collective will allow participants to contribute financially to The Nappy Collective while gaining education on nappy stress and wider social disadvantage through guest speaker presentations.

shows that one in 10 Australian families don’t have enough nappies due to reasons outside their control, such as homelessness, escaping domestic violence, major weather events, or other emergencies.

Help the Brotherhood make lasting change

THE Brotherhood of St Laurence proudly supports Victoria’s Container Deposit Scheme in Breakwater.

And local families are getting behind this fantastic program as an easy way to teach children how to recycle for well-earned pocket money.

The Brotherhood of St Laurence (BSL) is a social justice organisation working alongside people experiencing disadvantage to address the fundamental causes of poverty in Australia.

You might know BSL best by its Op Shop on High Street, Belmont.

“We believe no one should live in

poverty and that’s why we exist,” explains Kevin Tout, logistics operations manager of social enterprises at BSL.

“We’re focused on making lasting change in the community, which is why we’re thrilled to participate in Victoria’s Container Deposit Scheme (CDS).”

Kevin joined BSL more than five years ago and leads the logistics operations of all its social enterprises: BSL op shops, second hand online Brotherhood Books store, and most recently, the CDS Vic Breakwater Depot, which opened to the public in November 2023.

“We are very humbled by the community’s response to our CDS Vic Breakwater Depot,” Kevin said.

“It’s been amazing to see so many young families getting behind the program with kids who love collecting eligible drink containers to earn easy pocket money.”

“They get so excited watching the machines spinning and sorting the drink containers too, it’s a bit of fun to see what happens to the items they’ve collected.”

And getting involved is easy. Simply start collecting eligible drink containers and return them to the CDS Vic Breakwater Depot at 6 Haworth Court, Breakwater.

It’s an undercover, automated, drive-through depot, with a friendly team who are always happy to help.

“Load the car with eligible drink containers, drive straight in, park in our designated bays and we’ll unload it for you,” Kevin said.

“It takes a couple of minutes for our machines to sort hundreds of containers, and we’ll pay the 10 cent refund per eligible drink container direct to your nominated bank account once you’ve linked it to the CDS Vic West App.”

To find out what you can return, simply look for the 10 cent mark on eligible drink containers.

For more information on how to get involved, visit bsl.org.au/services/ sustainability, call 1300 366 283, or visit the team at 6 Haworth Court, Breakwater, Monday to Friday, 9am to 4.30pm or Saturday, 8.30am to 4.30pm.

This mum’s on Oprah’s mind

By Casey Neill

Psychotherapist Jacqueline Yeats’ experience inspired her to help children learn and practice mindfulness through business Mindful and Co Kids.

Ten years ago she completed a mindfulness-based stress reduction course as treatment for postnatal depression following daughter Alexis’ birth.

“When I was going through my research, the mental health stats were so devastating for youth.

“The biggest cause of disease is depression.

“I could probably say it saved my life with the depression and anxiety I was experiencing,” she said.

“Once I healed from my depression I decided to go back to uni.

“My background is in youth counselling and psychology.”

Jacqueline researched the brain science of mindfulness, honing in on mindfulness for stress reduction in young adults.

“Mindfulness is just paying attention on purpose and in the present moment,” she said.

“With the world becoming so busy and with social media, there’s so much going on and so much stimulation for the brain to take on, especially for children.

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Babies and toddlers can drum up discoveries with the Explore and Discover Roller.

For your chance to WIN visit geelongcoastkids.com.au/ competitions by noon on Friday 28 June. Good luck!

“I was really motivated to want to teach it to children.

“I worked with at-risk youths for 10 years. I wanted them to have these skills by their teenage years.”

Jacqueline started with her own child, who was aged 3 at the time.

“It was more like regulating her breath and we would do mindful movement like yoga,” she said.

“When she was overstimulated or having a tantrum I would just sit with her and come into the present moment with her and just breathe with her.”

Alexis is now 10 and “when she gets overwhelmed she will just stop and take a deep breath and regulate her emotions”.

Jacqueline moved on to teaching mindfulness and yoga classes for kids.

“I was having parents coming up to me after two sessions and saying ‘What have you done to my child?’,” she said.

They were using deep breathing, getting along with their siblings, and doing better in school.

“I thought ‘I’m definitely onto something here’,” she said.

Mindful and Co Kids was born, designed to cultivate children’s selfawareness, resilience, and a growth mindset.

“I came up with our first product, our yoga flash cards,” she said.

“It’s the easiest way to implement mindfulness for children at a younger age.

“You want to make this fun.”

The cards became popular and Jacqueline received feedback from around the world, including schools and kinders - and Oprah Winfrey.

“It’s been crazy. She’s endorsed us three times now. We were on her favouite things list twice,” she said.

“I was a bit hesitant when I first started the business.

“I was worried mindfulness was a bit of a buzz word and people didn’t resonate with it.”

It turns out she was at the right place at the right time. The pandemic hit and people shifted their focus to mental health.

“Parents were wanting something other than screens to entertain them,” she said.

“It’s not a buzz word anymore. It’s written into the curriculum in schools.

“We were taught science and geography but no one taught us how to stand still and how to breathe and how to practice gratitude.

“If I’d been taught that as a kid it would have been very beneficial to me.”

Jacqueline’s now selling thousands of mindful breathing balls, Hoberman spheres, and weighted teddies.

She recently teamed up with Sesame Street to create a mindful moments floor puzzle, designed to cultivate mindfulness, enhance emotional well-being, encourage problem-solving, and more.

“Our products are all fun, engaging ways for parents to do mindfulness with their child,” she said.

“They could do as little as 10 minutes a day.”

AN Aussie mum who counts Oprah among her fans says mindfulness saved her life.

Low milk supply links

LOW breast milk supply is being linked with low breast growth during pregnancy in a new study.

La Trobe University researchers led a survey of almost 500 women in Australia, the US, and the UK. They found that women with low milk supply often did not notice an increase in breast size during pregnancy; could have breast hypoplasia; or might have been overweight as a teenager.

La Trobe PhD candidate and study lead, Renee Kam, said it had long been suspected by breastfeeding specialists that a lack of breast growth during pregnancy could be associated with low milk supply, but this study was the first to show evidence of this link.

“This study showed that 72 percent of women with low milk supply reported that their breasts did not change appearance during pregnancy,” Ms Kam said.

“Most pregnant women notice that their breasts increase in size as their pregnancy progresses, so lack of change could now be considered a sign to health professionals that milk supply may become an issue after the baby is born.”

The study, conducted with the universities of Cincinnati and Bristol, also connected high body mass index around the time of puberty and a low milk supply.

Ms Kam said this was the first time such a link was made, and its connection needed to be confirmed in population-based studies.

She said the researchers did not know how many women in the study had breast hypoplasia, but more than two-thirds (about 70 percent) reported at least one irregular-shaped breast.

Breast hypoplasia is not the same as small breasts, but refers to breast tissue that is underdeveloped and might give the breast a tubular shape or asymmetry between the breasts.

Study participants shared their experience of not being able to produce enough milk for their babies, despite seeing lactation consultants, expressing breast milk, taking lactation cookies, and drinking lactation teas.

Despite following the usual protocols to increase milk production, they were physically unable to make enough milk. One distressed participant wrote: “I finally learned that ‘all women make enough milk’ was a lie. No amount of education or determination would make my breasts work.

“I felt deceived and let down by all my medical providers.

“How dare they have no answers for me when I desperately just wanted to feed my child naturally.”

Professor Lisa Amir from La Trobe’s Judith Lumley Centre said some women had physical and physiological reasons that prevented them from producing a full milk supply.

“Like every other organ, the breast may not be fully functional in some people,” Professor Amir said.

“We need to support women to achieve their optimum milk production, and make sure people don’t equate successful breastfeeding with being a good mother.”

Kidsafe’s winter burns risk warning

CHILDREN are most at risk of burns and scalds during the winter months.

Kidsafe Victoria is helping parents and carers to prevent burns and making them aware of the correct first aid if a burn does occur.

Burns Registry of Australia and New Zealand (BRANZ) data showed 1009 children aged under 15 years were admitted to burns units across Australia and New Zealand in 2020/2021 – more than 19 per week. Scalds accounted for nearly half of these cases (49 percent), often caused by hot drinks and food.

Kidsafe Victoria general manager Jason Chambers said a child’s skin was thinner and more sensitive than an adult’s and would therefore receive a more severe burn.

Mr Chambers said many children admitted to burns units did not receive the recommended initial first aid.

“Many people do not realise that using ice, creams, ointments, or butter on a burn can make the injury worse,” he said.

“Applying cool running water to the affected area for 20 minutes is crucial –this can make a significant difference in the rehabilitation and long-term outcome of the burn injury.” If a burn or scald does occur:

■ Remove yourself from danger, and remove any clothing and jewellery

from the burn area unless stuck to the skin;

■ Cool the affected area by placing the burn under cool running water for 20 minutes;

■ Cover the burn with a clean dressing; and Seek medical attention if the burn or scald is on the face, hands, feet, genitals, or buttocks, is larger than a 20-cent coin, or is blistered.

Kidsafe recommends parents:

■ Use gates or barriers to restrict children’s access to the kitchen;

■ Use the rear hotplates and ensure pot handles are turned inward and away from the edge of the stove;

■ Place hot drinks out of reach of children and avoid holding a child when having a hot drink;

■ Make sure children eat while sitting at a table;

■ Check the temperature of the water before bathing a child is no warmer than 38 degrees;

■ Limit the delivery temperature of hot water in your bathroom taps to a maximum of 50 degrees;

■ Closely supervise children around barbecues, pizza ovens, and fire pits; and Supervise open flames - such as candles, incense, and oil burnersand keep them out of reach of children.

RealityBites

Traumatic toilet birth

By Casey Neill

Green’s son made an unconventional entrance to the worldinto a toilet.

Pascoe Vale South mum can see the funny side seven years on, but the sudden birth left deep scars she’s still coming to terms with.

The nurse had always wanted to be a mum.

“I’ve always been quite maternal and very girly, kind of fitting into the stereotypes,” she said.

“I was in a relationship before my current partner with someone who didn’t want kids.

“That was a deal breaker.

“It became very clear to me then that I wanted to be a mum.

“Then I met (fiance) Nick.

“I said to him on our first date ‘do you want kids?’ and he said ‘maybe one day with the right person’.

“That was close enough.

“I’m an advocate now for having that conversation early on.

“If it scares them off they’re not the right person anyway.

“Do you want to have kids with someone who doesn’t want to have kids?”

Completing a half marathon flicked a switch in Lauren and spurred her to try for a baby.

“I felt quite strong, it felt at the right point in my life and my career,” she said.

“I just did a really hard thing, I’m ready to have a baby.”

Nick was hesitant.

“I’d had a few friends having a hard time getting pregnant. I told him it might take time,” she said.

“Then I think we pretty much got pregnant the first time we tried.

“I’m very grateful for that.

“We all got over the shock and were just over the moon.”

Lauren instinctively knew that she was pregnant early on.

“We’d gone out in the city for something,” she said.

“My boobs were huge and aching. I’d never experienced that before.

“I was like ‘Nick, I’m pregnant’.

“We went into a pharmacy in the middle of the city and got a pregnancy test.

“It lit up like a Christmas tree.

“I must have only been four weeks.”

Fatigue and nausea struck hard soon after.

“The second trimester was lovely. I went for lots of walks and had a spring in my step,” she said.

“The third trimester was good as well.

“I tried to work to 36 weeks but as a nurse, that’s hard.

“It was really hot. It must have been February or March.

“My boss came up to me and said ‘you can go on sick leave for the next few weeks if you want to, you don’t have to push yourself through this’.

“I don’t think I would have done that myself if someone hadn’t told me.

“That must have been at 34 weeks, which I think is when they recommend nurses stop.

“I was still safe to look after my patients, it was more about me being exhausted.”

Lauren had “a lovely time nesting” - aside from organising a new car after hers was stolen - and took Calmbirth classes with Nick.

“I’m really happy that we did that. I think Nick learnt a lot about how to support me,” she said.

She was 38 weeks and one day and she and Nick decided to have one last date night.

“We went to our local pub, played Uno, and had dinner,” she said.

“It was a really lovely night.

“In retrospect, I’m so glad we did that because it was our last time together as just the two of us.”

She’d had an induction massage earlier that day and instinctively filled her car with petrol.

“I was making sure everything was prepared,” she said.

“My body knew what was happening even if my brain didn’t.”

Lauren went to bed and woke to contractions at 1am.

“While I was sleeping I was obviously dilating and I didn’t know,” she said.

“The female body is just incredible. I’ll never get over being in awe of it.

“I thought ‘I’ll just let it happen for a bit, it could be Braxton-Hicks or it might go away’.

“It got pretty intense pretty quickly so I woke Nick up.”

Nick ran a bath for her but she soon got back out.

“I was restless, it didn’t feel right. It just wasn’t what I wanted,” she said.

“I was walking around the house remembering my Calmbirth sessions, breathing through it and being mindful.

“I felt comfy on the toilet. The position that your body is in when you’re on the toilet is quite natural for that process.”

Lauren had a TENS machine on her back and was timing the contractions using her phone.

They got closer together and more intense so Nick called the hospital.

On learning that Lauren was only three hours in, the midwife told her it’d be a while longer and she should take some Panadol.

“I think they didn’t believe me,” she said. “I thought ‘they’re two minutes apart and they bloody hurt. What do you mean I can’t come in yet?’.

“It’s all a bit of a blur from there.

“I had a funny contraction that felt very different from the others.”

Lauren felt like her body was pushing.

“It happened again and I felt Otis’s head coming out.

“I said to Nick, ‘I think the baby’s coming out’.

“He was trying to do all the things he’d been told to reassure me.

“On the third weird contraction, he came out into the toilet.

“I felt like I didn’t have enough time in my head to process what was happening.

“Nick came barrelling into the bathroom and got him out.

“He was passing him through my legs.

“Everything’s tangled and it’s chaos.

“It was scary.

“I just put him on my chest and said to Nick, ‘You need to call an ambulance’.

“I just sat there then, in shock.”

The ambulance arrived in less than 10 minutes.

“In retrospect, if he wasn’t breathing that’s not quick enough,” she said.

She started having contractions again once she arrived at the hospital.

“That hurt more than the ones I’d had before Otis was born,” she said.

“I asked for pain relief.

“They said to me ‘You had the baby without anything so you’ll be OK’.

“I was lying on the trolley with Otis on my chest and my placenta still inside me.

“I think the ED was full but they made a space for me on the delivery suites.

“After that I felt very calm and I had a beautiful midwife who helped me through the process of delivering the placenta.

“I think my body was fighting it. I was so stressed.

“Once the placenta was out I finally just got to rest.

“Otis was completely fine.

“He did have a hematoma on his head. They checked that and everything was OK.

“That’s quite common if you have a vacuum birth anyway.”

Lauren lodged a complaint with the hospital following her experience.

“I spent quite a bit of time thinking about what would have happened if he wasn’t breathing,” she said.

“I do spend a bit of time thinking about that - less these days, but more in the year or two after.

“Everyone who goes through birth, it changes you.

“It’s definitely left me with some scars.

“It’s changed the way I think about things.

“We had floated the idea of just having one child before we had Otis anyway, but after that I was like ‘nope, I’m done, I can’t go through that again’.

“I don’t want to go through that again.”

Lauren told Otis about the ordeal “maybe a year or two ago”.

“He knows he was born in the toilet at our house, not in the hospital,” she said.

“When he was a couple of weeks old we went to a wedding.

“Someone there told me their son had been born in the toilet.

“She said her son had got picked on for it at school. That made me a little bit conscious of it.

“I told him he didn’t have to tell anyone that if he didn’t want to, that’s his personal story.

“I would be devastated if he got bullied for it.”

LAUREN

Mum Lauren and her son Otis.

Picture: Rob Carew

RealityBites

Roadside birth ‘empowering’

By Casey Neill

A shock delivery in an ambulance station versus a scheduled caesareanTayla Keene’s two births couldn’t be more different.

The Mooroolbark mum’s experience post-birth has been chalk and cheese, too. Postnatal depression clouded her first months with Jasper, but therapy put her in good stead for Lyra’s start to life.

Tayla had always wanted to be a mum and instinctively knew she was growing a little life with fiance Trent Broome before a positive pregnancy test confirmed it.

“There weren’t any symptoms as such but I knew straight away,” she said.

“The first test came back negative but the next morning there was a faint positive line.

“Trent didn’t believe me until we were sitting in the doctor’s room getting our results back.”

Her pregnancy with Jasper went smoothly, but things kicked up a notch about a week past his due date.

“I woke up about 2am with contractions all across my lower back,” she said.

“I timed it roughly in my head. They were repetitive, but not consistent.”

Trent woke up to Tayla writing notes on her phone. They decided she’d get as much rest as possible and send her midwife a message in the morning.

“I was lucky, I was part of the midwifery group practice program,” she said.

“My midwife was actually a family friend of ours, too.

“I texted her about 8am, but she’d been at a birth with someone else that night and had to hand me over to her partner midwife.

“I laboured during the day at home.

“We were living with my parents at the time in Christmas Hills.

“I was going to The Angliss, they knew we were about an hour away.

“It was probably around lunchtime that I wanted to hop in the bath for a little bit.

“The contractions started to get pretty regular.”

She’d read an old wives’ tale that you could tell how far dilated you were by how cold your legs were, from your knee to the top of your thigh.

Tayla thought she was about 8 centimetres and called her midwife, who listened to her breathe through a contraction and said she was still in early labour.

“I think they underestimate people’s pain tolerances,” Tayla said.

“I wouldn’t say labour for me was painful.

“I’ve had really bad periods my whole life so I can say I’ve had periods worse than labour.”

Tayla was told to come in when she could no longer talk through her contractions, that at that point she’d be in the next stage of labour.

“Maybe 20 to 30 minutes later we were bang in that next stage,” she said.

“Every contraction brought me to my hands and knees.

“I was pushing - I couldn’t not push.”

She got out of the bath, dressing herself between contractions, and her dad and sister helped her get into the car with Trent.

Her waters broke about 20 minutes down the road, in Lilydale.

“I reached down and I could feel his head,” she said.

“I told my husband he had to pull

over and call an ambulance.

“I was OK. If we had to deliver this baby ourselves on the side of the road, that’s what we were going to have to do.

“You just have to accept it.

“I was never scared of birth as a thing because I figured women had been doing this for hundreds of thousands of years before me.

“My body was designed for this. Whatever happens it’ll be fine.

“I just had to listen to my body.”

They soon came to an ambulance station.

“We didn’t know if it was manned,” Tayla said.

“We pulled up on the side of the road. I don’t know how I made it inside.

“I just pulled my pants off and I was on my hands and knees on the ground.

“Trent’s rummaging through their cupboards, getting their blankets out.

“He’s on the phone to dispatch. They’re telling him what to do.

“Luckily, at this point the paramedics who were happening to have their lunch at 4pm took over.”

They got her up onto a trolley - then received dispatch instructions to respond to her call.

“The paramedic that was mainly helping us, this was his third birth,” Tayla said.

“Most paramedics don’t get to deal with them. They usually get called straight after the fact or just don’t get to see them.”

They pushed the trolley into the amulance and Tayla got onto her hands and knees and pushed.

“I could feel the ring of fire. I knew one more push and he was out,” she said.

“There was this wall of paramedics standing behind me.

“A paramedic half caught him while the rest of him came out.

“We all chilled out in the ambulance for a little bit.

“The paramedics made sure we were both OK.

“I had a little bit of a tear. Everything was really good.

“He latched pretty much straight away on the drive there and fed maybe about half an hour, 40 minutes.

“We came in through emergency and they took me up to the birth ward.

“They had to pull my placenta out in the end.

“I had a third degree tear that was quite deep, so they took me into theatre.”

Tayla said Jasper barely cried in those first hours and was so strong he was almost holding his head up.

“He wanted to be a part of everything,” she said.

“He had so much of his personality even before he was born.

“Now we see how it translates to him today. He’s very strong, outgoing, reactive. He has a big personality.

“He was a very easy baby.

“The hardest thing for me was probably breastfeeding. Something so natural did not come naturally.

“My milk came in very quickly but I had an oversupply which was leaving me very sore all the time and wet constantly.

“Then we both developed thrush as well because my breast pads were so full all the time.

“He had a bit of a tongue tie that we got snipped.

“Once we got through those first weeks we were pretty good.

“He followed the awake windows and the sleep schedules.

“He grew really quickly, he learnt things really quickly. All of his milestones he has reached early.

“He would have been about four months old when I started recognising signs of postnatal depression.

“I had a textbook perfect child, yet I struggled so much, and I’d always wanted to be a mum.”

Living at home didn’t help, and then the Covid lockdowns hit.

“He was about 18 months old when I first went to the doctor to start a mental health care plan,” Tayla said.

“I knew I should have done that a lot sooner. I kept waiting for it to go away.

“That guilt of ‘I should be happy about this, I’ve got a really good child, a really happy child’.”

Tayla had always been an overachiever and people pleaser.

“If I admitted that I needed help I felt like a failure, I felt like I wasn’t doing this mum thing the way everyone else seemed to do it.”

Jasper was about 2 when Tayla was able to speak to a counsellor.

“I’m now such a big advocate for counselling and therapy,” she said.

“I still see my therapist now, two years later.

“One of the biggest things she did for me was normalise a lot of feelings I was having.

“We made plans and strategies but also looked at a lot of the root causes of things.

“I learned to give myself the grace that I need and be OK with where things are at.”

For about the first year after having Jasper, the thought of having another child terrified Tayla.

“But I never wanted him to be an only child,” she said.

She spent time with her therapist and returned to work in a new field, finding a job she enjoyed.

“I don’t really know exactly when it was, but a switch turned and I felt ready to have another child,” she said.

“It took a lot longer for Trent to come around.

“Jasper’s birth for me was a very empowering experience. For Trent it was a very stressful experience.

“The thought of me going through potsnatal depression again was a big factor for him and really scared him.”

They fell pregnant the same month Trent came around to the idea.

The early days were very different to Tayla’s first pregnancy.

“Period symptoms are very similar to pregnancy symptoms, so I ignored everything,” she said.

“We were probably about seven weeks along before I took my first test.

“I didn’t want it to be negative. It was something I’d really wanted for 12 months.

“There were so many symptoms. I felt really hot, wanted a lot of sweet sugary things.

“I was at work one day and cracked it about something, and my colleague said ‘you just seem very quick to anger, are you alright?’.”

She picked up a test at the supermarket on her drive home, and was relieved it was positive.

Unlike her pregnancy with Jasper, Tayla felt nauseous throughout.

“About halfway through my pregnancy with her I had an ultrasound with the perineal clinic at Box Hill,” she said.

“I took myself to a pelvic floor specialist when we first agreed we were ready to have another baby and my recovery seemed really good.

“I had an ultrasound and the colorectal surgeon said they didn’t advise another vaginal birth.

“That crushed me.

“It was really hard to not cry in the appointment.

“I instantly felt like my choice had been taken away from me and my body had failed me.

“I felt very let down by my own healing.

“It took a while to come to terms with having a caesar.

“It was a situation I couldn’t control so I just had to let it be and control what I could.”

Tayla wanted a maternal assisted caesarean, where the mother helps to lift her baby from her womb.

“Going through the public system it’s not really a big thing that they do,” she said.

“No one could give me a straight answer as to why I couldn’t do it.

“I was told it would depend on the doctor on the day.

“I wanted at the very least immediate skin to skin.

“They gave me my spinal at 9am, she was born at 9.16am.

“It was such a strange experience.

“You could feel everything that was going on in terms of the pushing, the pulling, the tugging.

“She was crying before they’d even properly got her head out.

“They lowered the drapes and we got to touch her.”

Only 10 seconds passed between Lyra entering the world and being placed on Tayla’s chest.

“She was instantly very different to Jasper - very vocal, a lot sleepier,” she said.

“It’s different when you’ve been evicted rather than knocking on the door.”

She said the hardest part of the caesarean was the first few days, particularly standing.

Lyra latched and put on weight well, and Jasper was bursting to meet her.

“We’re very lucky Jasper’s been really good with her,” Tayla said.

“He just wants to hug her all the time and give her a kiss on the head.

“He can’t wait for her to play toys together.”

Lyra was eight weeks old when we spoke, and was having reflux and tummy issues that were affecting her sleep.

“She hates being put down, she will not tolerate being put down for more than a minute,” she laughed.

“I don’t think the exhaustion is as bad because you’re conditioned to it.

“Being in our own house has made a massive difference.

“My mental health is in a much different place this time around.

“We are having regular check-ins because we’re more aware.

“She’s more difficult than Jasper, but we are in a much better position this time around.

“You could not get two more polar opposite kids from the same family.

“But they’ve both got those piercing blue eyes.”

Winding Down works wonders

DOES your little one have a hard time winding down for bed?

Not only does Penny O’Loughlin feel your pain - she’s done something to help you.

The self-published Kooyong author wrote Winding Down after often solo parenting sons Fletcher and Harry, now aged 9 and 7, during the Covid lockdowns.

“They are bright, passionate balls of energy that bring me so much joy,” Penny said.

“I needed that one-on-one time to really understand Fletch.

“He is an extremely bright and passionate boy who sees the world with very different eyes.

“We’d walk to the park and he’d wear his tuxedo and no shoes.

“He’s taught me the important things, how to really see things in the moment.

“He really stops and smells the roses.

“This energy and brightness were and still are very hard to wind down at the end of the day.”

Penny tried audiobooks, essential oils, meditations, music, relaxation sounds, teas, warm baths, candles, weighted blankets, massage, and more.

When she couldn’t find the right book to support both her and Fletcher through their bedtime battles, Penny wrote it.

Children’s books... Books

“It’s rhythmic, almost like a meditation,” she said.

“As it’s read, it calms the reader too.

“We overschedule ourselves, with the rapid pace of the world.

“It’s about taking a moment to pause and just be.”

Penny’s background is architecture and landscape architecture, and she’s worked as a landscape designer for years.

“But I’d always go to the children’s book section,” she said.

“I love the simple tales and parables that can explain complex topics simply and with comedy.

“I used to read the kids lots of books.

“I did a children’s book author course at Abbotsford when I was pregnant with my second son.

“I started writing when I did the course, so I wrote and wrote.

“It’s so impossible to get published. I sent them off and I got rejected by everybody.

“I felt like this book worked for its purpose.”

So Penny started down the path of self-publishing.

“I heard, in the back of my head, some of the negative comments about self-publishing but I had to get a thicker skin really,” she said.

“I had to be brave enough to take the steps to get to where I wanted to go.”

She developed an author website and bought a stash of books.

“It’s now just having the confidence to get out and meet people and talk about it,” she said.

“It’s in a few bookshops around and is selling well.

“People are buying it for people who have new babies, as a gift, but also for children who are wound up and have heightened energy at the end of the night.” Fletcher is “pretty chuffed” to have inspired a book.

“He says, ‘Mum’s an author, Mum wrote a book about me’,” Penny laughed.

“It reminds me of a very difficult time but a time that we worked really hard, and a time where there was massive growth for myself and my son, too.

“It’s the result of hard work - and not just the writing hard work, but the personal hard work.

“It worked for me and I hope it will work for others.”

She read Winding Down in local kindergartens and early learning centres during Book Week last year.

“They now use it after playtime just to bring the energy back down and to switch off,” she said.

A publisher picked up Penny for her next book, this time inspired by her youngest.

“I felt like I needed to do this for him,” she said.

“It’s coming out in December and it’s called Bud and Buzz.

“It’s about a garden.

“Bud is a little flower that’s yet to bloom and he sits in the shadows, yet to be seen.

“He gets his day in the sunlight, but he has to endure the wind and rain.”

Penny is also working on Cartwheeling Sally and Jumping Jack Jim.

“It’s about two little kids who don’t sit still,” she said.

“I feel like all the books are about trying to calm down.

“There’s nothing that makes the kids see themselves on the page and have a laugh, because it is quite funnythey’re at the top of the trees and they’re upside down.

“This is heroing them saving the day.

“It’s rhyming verse and it’s really for the cartwheeling Sallys.”

Order Winding Down from pennyoloughlin.com.

Listen, Hippo!

Gabriel Evans

When Billy is feeling sad, he wishes he had someone to talk to.

He thinks what he needs is someone to listen…but his best friend, Hippo, believes he knows exactly what Billy needs!

Playing dress-ups will cheer Billy up, and dancing in the cherry blossoms, or maybe a pirate adventure?

Hippo just wants to make Billy happy, but it’s only when he finally listens to what Billy wants that he can help his friend.

Penguin

$24.99

Detective Beans and the Case of the Missing Hat

Li Chen

In this hilarious full-colour graphic novel, Cat Town’s best kitten detective is on the case – of his very own missing hat!

The clues take Beans all over Cat Town.

He encounters philosophical pigeons, dodgy street magicians, lounge singers and soup chefs, and even a mysterious trash portal.

No one is a match for his crime-solving powers. But will Beans find his hat before Mum is expecting him home for dinner?

Penguin

$17.99

The Land Recalls You

Kirli Saunders

Do not mourn the hands that raised you…Do not weep for songs of land.

Honouring the Stolen Generations, and all who’ve been taken, The Land Recalls

You is a powerful story of returning, written with love and reverence by awardwinning Gunai author Kirli Saunders and illustrated by debut Bundjalung artists David and Noni Cragg.

Scholastic Australia

$26.99

Everything We Never Said

Sloan Harlow

The dead keep the best secrets…

It’s been months since Ella’s best friend, Hayley, died and everywhere she looks she sees reminders of her – including Sawyer, Hayley’s boyfriend. Soon, the two grow closer, finding comfort in each other.

Racked with guilt, Ella turns to Hayley’s journal, but what she finds leaves her terrified.

The Sawyer in these pages is nothing like the kind and thoughtful boy she knows. Torn, Ella finds herself having to make a choice. Yet making the wrong one could have fatal consequences…

Penguin $19.99

The

Sea in Me

Cody Simpson

From multitalented athlete, musician, and writer Cody Simpson comes a breathtaking story of finding the calm and quiet amid the bustle and noise of everyday life.

The sounds from above are hazy and lost to me.

I can only hear my heartbeat, slow and steady.

When your heart beats faster and the noises close in, it’s time to make a break for it and find the sea within.

Dive deep and look, listen and feel all the creatures as they block out the distractions and allow you to listen only to the voice inside you.

Penguin $19.99