UNITED’S FIRST EXCLUSIVELY ONLINE FANZINE
ISSUE
FOOTBALL UNITED FANZINE
11 Jan 2012
FEATURING THE FLOWERS OF MANCHESTER THIS IS A MAN’S WORLD THE BABY FACED MANAGER REGULAR FEATURES
AND MUCH, MUCH MORE 1
HATING THE HATERS Is it ever right to criticise our players as strongly as ISSUE some do?2012 11, JANUARY
JANUARY 2012
In this month’s issue of Football United Fanzine
REGULAR FEATURES 04 EDITORIALS 08 ON OUR RADAR 09 EDITOR‘S VIEW 16 THE SHAW SHOW 18 MICKY OWEN: PI 20 A MONTH IN FOOTBALL 24 BORN AND RED 32 THE FINAL WORD
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The is a man’s world...or is it?
SPECIAL FEATURES 06 REVIEW: FLOWERS OF MANCHESTER Looking at a new United documentary based on the Munich air disaster. 10 HATING THE HATERS Is it ever right to criticise your own players quite as strongly as some do?
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Hating the Haters
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28 THIS IS A MAN‘S WORLD...OR IS IT? Is there still sexism in being a football fan? Is football still a man’s world to live in? 22 THE BABY FACED MANAGER Ole Gunnar Solskjaer sparkling in his management at Molde.
COMING UP THIS MONTH... 8 JAN:
City vs United FA Cup 1.00pm
14 JAN:
United vs Bolton Premier League 3.00pm
22 JAN:
Arsenal vs United Premier League 4.00pm
31 JAN:
United vs Stoke Premier League 8.00pm
5 FEB:
Chelsea vs United Premier League 4.00pm
22 The baby faced manager 3
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Warming the Bench Football United Fanzine W: www.football-united-blogs.com E: editor.fub@live.co.uk EDITORIAL Managing Editor: Steph Doehler Deputy Editor: Rachel Turney Contributors: Al Monger, Vinnie Shaw, Brett Burgers, Harry Sherlock, Jack Harvey. A SPECIAL THANKS TO Chris Nightingale, Will Lumb. DESIGN Designer: Steph Doehler IMAGES Micky Owen PI: Michael Kyeyune FOR ENQUIRES Email: editor.fub@live.co.uk Facebook: FootballUnited Blogs Twitter: @footballUB
All material unless otherwise stated, is copyright to the Football United Fanzine. The views expressed are not necessarily those of the editors. The Football United Fanzine is completely independent of Manchester United Football Club. The Football United Fanzine accepts no responsibility for services offered by advertisers.
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Happy new year everyone, hope you all had a great Christmas. United certainly did (this was preemptively written before the Blackburn & Newcastle matches!). As I write this we are level on points at the top of the table with City and have drastically reduced the goal difference gap with back to back 5-0 victories.
Editorials
What an exciting year we have ahead, with the Euro‘s and the Olympics, as well as potentially one of the best title fights ever. Not to mention a new experience for us in the Europa League and our clash with City in the FA Cup. Going back to the present, I have to say that one of my favourite Christmas presents is Scholes‘ autobiography. If you haven‘t got it yet, you should. I‘ve read Giggs‘, Keane‘s and Neville‘s which are brilliant but there is something extra special about the little ginger maestros. Maybe it‘s because I‘m reading it so close to his retirement and it almost feels like I can put him back in the team. But more than that it‘s just how humble he continues to come across. I am only half way through but he doesn‘t say a bad word about anybody and just seems genuinely grateful for everything he experienced. He is a simple man who loves his football and his family. Well worth a read. A new year means one thing in football, mass transfer speculation and the occasional deal. Being United we will be linked with a million players as always but despite our never ending injury list I still don‘t think Fergie will be buying. This will disappoint many fans but it‘s rare we buy in January and Fergie has unwavering faith in the squad, when fit, as a whole. The fact we have closed the gap on City will make transfers even less likely. Besides, January transfers are not always what they are cracked up to be, Torres and Carroll to name two very amusing examples. Although Fergie may surprise us, because you just never know who might become available. More than anything though, I would just like to have all our current players fit again. Here is to a wonderful year ahead. Rachel - Deputy Editor Follow Rachel on Twitter @Rachel_jj2011
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I sometimes wonder just what planet football fans are on. No matter the situation I don't think I have ever experienced a rational thinking football fan, myself included. But last month we saw something laughable, unwavering and, quite frankly, head scratching in the shape of Liverpool‘s response to Luis Suarez‘s ban. Not only were the supporters infuriated, despite the fact the Uruguayan had admitted using racially abusive language, but the club got in on the act too.
Editorials
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw both the players and manager wearing Suarez 7 tshirts in their warm ups against Wigan. It felt like we‘d returned to the years of the ―Free Diedre Rachid‖ campaign. It was an embarrassment to football. And whilst I completely endorse standing up for your team and its players, Liverpool fans seem to have conveniently forgotten that Suarez, as I‘ve already said, admitted to abusing Patrice Evra. Dont even get me started on King Kenny...can you imagine Ferguson wearing a Rio tshirt when the defender was banned for his missed drugs test. We‘d have all cringed. As is so often the case, sport can bring out both the best and worse in people. Sadly for the Scousers the worse has once again been brought out recently, much to the humour of the rest of the footballing world. Steph - Managing Editor Follow Steph on Twitter @StephDoehler
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REVIEW
23 people died, 8 Busby Babes, The Flowers of Manchester remembered once more. entary revisits the A new, short online docum Munich air disaster. We all know about the Munich air crash. It‘s a tragedy engrained in every Manchester United fan‘s brain. Recently a new documentary was released onto You Tube, showing once again, just why Munich has played such an integral role in United‘s history. There have been so many tributes to the Busby Babes it‘s sometimes hard to differentiate between them all. However in November 2011 a new video was put online which brought a new angle to the tragedy. Produced and directed by Chris Nightingale, a student at the University of Central Lancaster, The Flowers of Manchester, has generated excellent feedback on United forums, social networking sites and You Tube. Nightingale admitted himself his biggest challenge was to establish something new, that differed from what we had all seen before. ―As Alan Keegan, the Stadium Announcer at Old
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Trafford, is also my lecturer in Football and Society, he was the first person I spoke to about my idea...As there have been many documentaries and dramas on the Munich Air Disaster, the main challenge was to try and find a new angle and approach which would make my film different and unique amongst the other Munich tributes. After many discussions with Alan, I decided to focus on the impact the disaster had on the fans of Manchester United past and present.” The video starts with a fitting tribute to the Babes, accompanied by the Manchester United Calypso
before spanning to the clock which is situated by the Munich tunnel at Old Trafford. Speaking to Ernie Woodcock, Chairman of Fleetwood Supporter‘s Club, evokes emotion rarely shown in these kind of
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documentaries - that of the average Manchester United supporters. Woodcock‘s recollection of United‘s first match after the tragedy against Sheffield Wednesday is truly awe inspiring, describing it as “the greatest emotional game,” he had ever seen. Moving forward 50 years, Nightingale highlights the half century anniversary of the air crash and the minute‘s silence prior to the Manchester derby. Clips of the crowd itself is as moving as anything else you can watch on the crash. Pete Martin, of Salford band, Hanky Panky, was also interviewed. Martin, who wrote a fitting tribute song around the 50th anniversary, expressed what perhaps has long been forgotten about the crash; “The idea was that this was a human tragedy, not just a sad loss for football.” As Nightingale said, this 11 minute documentary wasn't produced to retell any stories, but to offer a new perspective—one that shows the influence of Munich and the Busby Babes in today‘s money driven football. As Martin puts it “I put in the song “you are the strength and inspiration for those who play your roles today” and I believe that. Matt Busby always wanted to play very attractive football. His philosophy was ’if they score three, we’ll have to score four,’ and that’s the
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United way really, it’s continuing now.” Interestingly this wasn‘t Nightingale‘s first attempt at documentary making. In fact, his first one centered on another footballing tragedy, one that evokes slightly less emotion from some United fans - the Hillsborough disaster. “In May 2010, I had seen pictures of banners a very small minority of Manchester United supporters had held up, disrespecting the 96 Liverpool fans who were killed in the Hillsborough disaster. I decided there and then to make a small documentary about Hillsborough in the summer to show these individuals the horror of that day and how they should be very respectful, not disrespectful. So in June 2010, I filmed Hillsborough, by going to the ground in Sheffield with my friend, Tim Jolly, and taking the audience through
as they unfolded on that day. The response was very positive from a wide variety of football supporters and It was at that moment, that I decided to make a film about the disaster which affected my club so deeply.” Next month it will be 54 years since Munich. Nightingale deserves plaudits for what he has accomplished within the documentary. A new angle to highlight the ever present emotion Munich generates is always welcomed by Manchester United fans and perhaps, on this occasion, will educate rivals fans, just as Nightingale attempted to do with his work on Hillsborough. To watch The Flowers of Manchester click here. To watch Hillsborough click here.
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On our Radar this month... Manchester City: Say what you want about the FA Cup and our dirty neighbours but following the derby humiliation, every single one of us is looking for retribution in this tie. Robin Van Persie: Love him or hate him, it‘s hard to suggest RvP isn‘t in the form of his life. A tough trip to a resurgent Arsenal will make life tough for United.
Daniel Sturridge: The Chelsea forward will not doubt start when United visit Stamford Bridge next month and as the home side‘s top scorer this season the United defence will need to be on top form.
Fernando Torres: Ok, maybe not...
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EDITOR’S VIEW Questions again raised over Rooney’s future Following a post-Christmas evening out with teammates, the tabloids go giddy again hoping for another Rooney/Ferguson bust up. As soon as news filtered through that Wayne Rooney‘s absence from the squad to face Blackburn on New Year‘s Eve was due to disciplinary reasons rather than injury, you just new the newspapers would have a field day with this story. Depending on who and what you believe the relationship between Rooney and Sir Alex is once again at boiling point, just as it allegedly had been in 2010. Journalists went into frenzy, no-one more so than Nick Harris who, in
Mail on Sunday, spent a third of his article discussing the ramification of the MUTV/charade situation, only to concede at the end that he hadn't even gone to the effort of viewing the clip. Lazy journalism to say the least. Fans were split in their views as to whether or not the punishment to Rooney, Evans and Gibson was harsh but most supporters united in the pointlessness of the story as once again the media built a storm from nothing. Hardly a surprise there.
AGREE OR DISAGREE? We want to know what you think about anything you read in the magazine. You can email: editor.fub@live.co.uk or tweet us @footballUB
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Expect transfer window frenzy this January C‘mon, we all secretly love the transfer window don't we? No? Just me then! Not for the disappointment that inevitably ensues but purely for the humour of it all. We all know that United are highly unlikely to sign anyone (of any great stature anyway), yet watching fans get giddy over Sneijder being spotted in England on transfer deadline day does warm the heart. No doubt Spurs will be linked to every man and his dog (notably Giuseppe Rossi), Harry Redknapp will be interviewed saying he will consider any deal, for any player and Liverpool will still spend the window wonder how they managed to get £50m for Torres, only to be shafted by the Geordies in the same day. Enjoy it everyone, January will be a long month!
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HATING THE HATERS
By Al Monger @almanuman
Is it ever right to abuse our own? Al doesn't think so...
What exactly is it with United fans who have got a perpetual downer on certain United players? Did I say downer? Jeez, in some cases it's almost like a death wish. On Twitter, mere confirmation of the selection in the United first team, or even on the bench, of the likes of Jonny Evans, Michael Carrick, Darron Gibson, Kiko Macheda and Mame Biram DIouf, to name but five, brings forth immediate gasps, sighs, expressions of disbelief, condemnation and outright abuse. Bloody hell,
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the vitriol and hatred toward Gibson was such that when he attempted to join Twitter, within two hours he had been 'persuaded' that maybe it wasn't for him after all! And this persuasion by his own 'fans'! So unfair, in so many ways, and on so many levels. Who are the perpetrators of this abuse? As a generalisation it would be easy to point the finger at the younger of our fans, those who have possibly only ever witnessed a successful
United side since becoming supporters. Those fans to whom any occasional blip is perceived as being akin to the end of the world and certainly something for which somebody, anybody (erm, that'll be the likes of Evans, Carrick, Gibson, Macheda, Diouf etc) HAS to be culpable. Strangely (actually not strangely at all, blinkered more like) the person picked out for abuse is rarely, if ever, one of the acknowledged 'stars' of the
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United team. Yes Rooney and Nani, for example, are occasionally criticised for coming up short in terms of their performance, but rarely will they be totally blamed for a defeat. Rarely? Actually let's make that never, will they be told that they're not good enough to be in the team. As an example, our recent defeat in Basel, resulting in our elimination from the Champions League, saw a somewhat embarrassing miss by Rooney with an equaliser looking a certainty. Yes he was given a bit of stick at the time for the miss, but I don't think I've seen too many headlines, or tweets, citing that particular miss as being key to our being consigned to the Europa League. But you know damn well that had it been Carrick, or even Macheda, that miss would still be being talked about. They would be being hounded for it. A case of them being considered as easy targets I would suggest. Ok, I maybe generalised in suggesting that our younger fans are possibly the ones exhibiting limited patience with certain of our players, but whether this generalisation is of the sweeping type is I guess up to the reader to decide. Put it this way, can you remember when United weren't actually very good? And no, I don't just mean 'not very good' as in the recent derby against City,
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when actually we were quite good until they opened the scoring, I mean can you remember back to the dark days when we WEREN'T winning league titles, when we rarely even challenged for titles to be honest, when we rarely even won Cups despite being generally labelled as being a cup team. Mmm, a cup team that rarely won cups.... put like that they were indeed darkish days when I think back. For yes, post Busby and pretty much most of the intervening years preFergie, United underachieved magnificently. Underachieved is one way of putting it. We were quite often crap is another. Obviously those barren years were so different from today. And referring back to the afore-mentioned Twitter, I'd hate to see how the likes of say Ralph Milne, Ashley Grimes, Mal Donaghy from the past would be treated if social networking had been around then. Without doubt, from personal recollection, they would be prime targets to be scrutinised, dissected and potentially destroyed in the same way as some of our players today. Take Ralph Milne. One of Fergie's admitted worst signings, my memories of Ralph were very largely of severe ineptitude. Standing as I did half way up the Stretford End, right behind the goal, the sight of Ralph
running towards goal, ball sort of at feet, you just knew, everyone knew, that it was all probably going to go horribly wrong. And on most occasions it did. But back then United fans weren't spoilt. We craved success, we didn't expect it. And thus we didn't abuse our players. Indeed, I can honestly say that I have never booed or abused any player donning the red, the white, the black, the blue, the green/gold or indeed any shirt of Manchester United. Not even that horrendous grey shirt. Although thinking about it, perhaps a disrespectful barrage of abuse was actually in order for that one...dreadful shirt, hated it! I‘ve never booed, and I never will. You know why? Because I am a supporter of United. There's a clue in the word and it's why I'd rather term myself a supporter instead of a fan. Yes I'm fanatical about them, but in a good way, not in the way of a demented fanatic, a way which apparently, judging by popular social network perception, allows you to demand nothing less than perfection on the football field; a way which apparently suggests it's ok to subject certain players to unceasing vitriol before they've even kicked a ball; a way which, frankly, just sucks and which does no one any credit.
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This is a man’s world...Or is it? By Rachel (@Rachel_JJ2011) Being a football fan is not always easy and being female can make it even harder. Often the assumption is instantly made that you couldn‘t possibly know as much about football as males and it is almost as though you have to go through a variety of tests to prove your worthiness. You
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will be grilled on your team until you fail to know one small fact about the team from 1943 and then order will be restored in the world when you are proven to be no more than a typical female fan. To be fair, this isn‘t always the case and at times I don‘t
think all female fans help the cause. I use the term fans loosely here as I refer to those females who don‘t know a great deal about football but have decided to jump on the bandwagon for whatever reason. Believe me, these people annoy me as much as they annoy any male fan, if not more. If you don‘t know anything about football that is fine, just don‘t pretend you do. It‘s the exact reason I don‘t write about chemical equations. There is nothing worse than someone claiming to be their team‘s biggest fan then not knowing who their team‘s last game was against, although that is not gender specific.
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Personally I plan my life around football, especially United games. I find ways to get out of social events so I don‘t miss games and when I can‘t manage this I am constantly on my phone checking the latest scores. I‘m grumpy all day if we lose and I‘m bouncing off the walls if we win. I love nothing more than a good debate about football with any fans as long as they are genuine. They don‘t have to agree with me, in fact it makes it more interesting if they don‘t. Being a female fan is one thing, but being a United fan not from Manchester certainly adds another difficult dimension to this. My Grandfather was born in Manchester and for this reason supported United all of his life, my father followed in his footsteps. My sister and I were therefore born United fans. My children will be United fans as well, or they will be sold! Supporting another team never crossed my mind, be it local or otherwise. I didn‘t choose United, I was born United. Don‘t get me wrong, I have no doubt that being from Manchester gives you an extra special affinity to the club but I don‘t think you can penalise other fans based on where they live or were born. Being born there doesn‘t instantly make you a true fan either, it‘s everything that goes with being a fan. There is no guide to being the perfect fan but I
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The No Women At Football campagin was hardly the most successful with only 34 people officially supporting it.
know that I watch every single United game that I can on TV and I go to Old Trafford as often as I can afford. If I could go to every game, home and away, I would.
really have a problem with females liking football but just because males like to be with just males sometimes in the same way women like girl only time, for want of a better expression.
I have been told in the past that I am the perfect companion to many males because I would rather spend all weekend watching football than go anywhere near a shopping centre. I often wonder if that‘s really true though. Maybe a male perspective would be more accurate but I think in some ways some males prefer football being their own thing. Not because they
I also think some people find the idea of women chanting, shouting abuse, drinking beer and wearing football shirts somewhat unnerving, and by ―some people,‖ I refer to both males and females. It just seems unnatural to many. For me though, I can‘t think of anything more natural than watching football with a beer while shouting at the referee or players. Maybe it
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isn‘t seen as particularly feminine but I can worry about that when I‘m out with my girlfriends on a Saturday night (after all the football has finished of course).
more than anything else. Maybe I have been lucky in comparison to other female fans or maybe comments are just not said to my face, although I wouldn‘t really care if they were.
The last thing I want this article to sound like is a rant about male football fans‘ attitudes towards female fans because it isn‘t. In all honesty I have hardly received any sexism in my time as a football fan, I get much more abuse for supporting United. I feel comfortable talking to a group of males about football and feel that once they know I know what I‘m talking about they respect me. I don‘t feel out of place in the pub or at Old Trafford watching a game. Although I wonder if that‘s because I have confidence in my own knowledge and passion
I think the situation has got a lot better. In 2003 The Independent reported that
I think some people find the idea of women chanting, shouting abuse, drinking beer and wearing football shirts somewhat unnerving.
Women and children only crowd at Fenerbahce for their Turkish league clash with Manisaspor
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women made up a fifth of all fans attending Premier League games. Similar results were found in 2010 and this was attributed to increased safety of stadiums. I can only see the figure rising. 2011 also saw a Fenerbahce match watched by 41,000 fans, all of whom were women and children. Granted this was a one off experience and the match was free to attend, but it was good to see the stadium still full and the fans having such a good time. It was a little disheartening to type female football fans into Google and only really be hit with pages regarding ―sexy‖ and ―naked‖ female fans. However I was pleasantly surprised at how little I could find about the NWAF (No Women At Football) campaign. Looking at the group on www.causes.com they had a mere 34 people who had joined. A Facebook page with the same name has 659 likes. The content is very predictable and highly unimaginative, laughable even. It gives me hope that those who have a problem with female fans are a minority. I have both male and female friends equally as passionate about United and football in general. I think the majority of fans don‘t really care who else is supporting their team, as long as its people who really do care in the same way they do.
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THE SHAW SHOW My first reaction to the statement made by Liverpool was one of anger. I was furious that they could peddle such lies.” ―If you are going to tell a lie, tell a big one and if you repeat it often enough then everybody will believe you.‖ Joseph Goebbels said that in his role as the Nazi‘s Minister for Information and Propaganda, to explain how the Nazis managed to persuade and indoctrinate a whole nation into believing their whole vile racist ideology. The same thing can be said for some of the stuff uttered about football. Except without the wholesale slaughter of millions of innocent people. Obviously. You see, the thing that gets
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me when speaking to people about football is some of the nonsense that has been taken as gospel over the years. Some of the beauties that immediately spring to mind are everybody from Manchester supports City, every decision at Old Trafford goes in favour of United, all Scousers are lovable rogues with a wicked sense of humour and, one of my particular favourites, Berbatov is a lazy waste of money who isn‘t fit to tie the ball boy‘s shoe laces. As I type this The Berb has netted a hat-trick against Wigan which included a quite wonderfully arrogant penalty and still
that wasn‘t good enough for some of the people who sit around me in Stretford End Upper Tier. However the one big mistruth that has been peddled of late and has been taken as gospel by many is that Evra is constantly making allegations of racism. We all know this to be nonsense of course as the two allegations that have been linked to him were not actually made by Evra they were, in fact, made by Mike Phelan in that barmy incident with the Chelsea groundsman and the other by a deaf
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football fan who claimed they lip read another Liverpool player racially abusing Evra. Not that this stopped Liverpool using this in their defence of Luis Suarez in the recent racial abuse case that has been before the FA and in their bizarre statement they made following the announcement of the nine game ban that Suarez must sit out pending an appeal. My first reaction to the statement made by Liverpool was one of anger. I was furious that they could peddle such lies . It is well known that Evra has never made such allegations in the past so why did they choose to repeat them? My second reaction was one of sadness. Sadness because if we put tribal rivalries to one side, and the Manchester UnitedLiverpool rivalry is one of football‘s and indeed sport‘s as a whole great rivalries, then we can all agree that Liverpool as a football club are one of the great institutions with a rich history and a loyal fanbase. So it was with sadness that we saw Liverpool react in that way. A manner that played up to the parody of Liverpool as a self-pity city that enjoys playing the victim. One did not expect them to roll over and accept the ban without putting up a fight but one certainly expected a more dignified response. Liverpool could still have launched an appeal particularly as Suarez was never
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actually accused of being a racist more of uttering racist abuse. They could have appealed the length of the ban by stating something along the lines of the ban being unprecedented or by showing the good nature of Suarez (don‘t laugh, please) but to aim both barrels at Evra and to turn Suarez into the victim in all of this was both paranoid and pathetic. Suarez was not the victim here, Evra was. In fact the thing Suarez was charged with (using racist language) he actually admitted to doing. One of the defences Liverpool used was to claim a cultural misunderstanding and that the word Suarez used is actually perfectly acceptable in his native Uruguay. All very plausible it would seem until one notices the tiny flaws in the plan. One being Suarez is not in Uruguay now and has in fact lived in Europe for the past few years so would surely know that what may be acceptable in his native country may not be acceptable over here. Plus, and I do not wish to come all over like a Daily Mail reader here, but when you live in our country one should really abide by our customs and laws. I would not expect
authorities in Saudi Arabia to be understanding if they caught me swigging from a six pack and singing the Twelve Cantonas song just because I can do this outside my local on a Saturday night (I don‘t by the way but I think you get my drift). Liverpool‘s reaction to this has intensified the bad feeling between the two clubs and a lot of the fans of both clubs do not need much of an excuse to engage in a spot of fisticuffs when the two sides meet. They could and should have handled it so much better. However had they not responded in the manner they did then I would have had to find something else to write about so they have done me a favour I suppose. And don‘t even get me stared on those Suarez tshirts.
By Vinnie Shaw @TheShaw2009
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FICTION
MICKY OWEN: PI By Brett Burgers @HoldAndGive At Manchester United, without regular football as a distraction, Micky Owen was offered the opportunity to sharpen his detective skills. Along with his spirit guide Eric he provided the club and SAF with something… Answers on a postcard if you’ve managed to work out what exactly that is yet. It was a typical week with my birthday coming up. I‘d disconnected the landline, cancelled my mobile contract, deleted my email accounts and attached an automated tweet generator to my Twitter profile. Strange things those…I popped in all my interests, likes and dislikes and then the idea is that it generates tweets for you. Well the one I subscribed to must have been broken because all it seems to tweet is Twitpics of a wall covered in wet paint????! As a final resort I‘d hidden myself and my family in a cave thousands of miles away from civilisation. Sir Alex Ferguson had another thing coming if he thought I was going to be doing any detective work on or around MY birthday. I mean what with it being MY birthday and all. Two weeks passed and the drinking of each other‘s urine aside and the gingivitis contracted from said drinking of urine and the onset of periodontitis notwithstanding, I was having a ‗not as crap as it could have been had Brett been bothered to add anything else in here‘ birthday. Eric who‘d taken us out to the wilderness under the cover of darkness had got me a sicknote for a present which I thought was quite possibly one of the weakest visual jokes I‘ve had the misfortune of witnessing.
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He could have got me something more subtle like a…erm…like a…like a…erm…Oh whatever it‘s still really lame. ―It‘s not just Hargo who can read your inner monologue, Micky,‖ bellowed Eric before turning around lifting the collar on his shirt, ―Au revoir!‖ And with that he disappeared. Without Eric here we had no idea where we were or how to get home. ―I know where we are,‖ said the wife, ―…up shit creek!‖ What?! What‘s with all the really poor level of jokes this month, come on it‘s clichéd tosh. Eric reappeared from behind the cloud and whispered in my wife‘s ear. ―Oh he said that did he,‖ replied the wife… I was making my way down the touchline it was the last minute of the Champions League, no wait Europa League final and my team mates were calling for a cross, ―Micky!!!‖, Micky!!!!‖ Micky…Micky Micky…‖ I was shaken awake by SAF. As I came around it was apparent I was in a hospital ward. ―Micky!‖ said SAF. ―Wait, I can explain‖. I clenched my entire body, surely he‘d be kicking a boot at my eyebrow or something any second. ―You don‘t need to explain anything Micky‖ he replied. ―What are going to do to me‖, I
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whimpered. ―I‘ll tell you what I‘m going to do Micky…‖ ―Yes…‖ ―I‘ll tell you right now…‖ ―Go on…‖ ―I‘m going to congratulate you!‖ ―Okay make it quick…wait…what??? Congratulate me??!! At that moment Berba burst into the room. ―There you are Micky!‖ exclaimed Berba. ―So glad you are okay after the little accident during our case. (―Uh?‖) ―I‘ve wrapped everything up.‖ SAF cut back in, ―Yeah you two are going to be quite some team, I can‘t believe you got to the bottom of that one. I thought I‘d set you the most difficult case imaginable. The way you handled it what with all the stuff it involved, Jeez…I mean really WELL DONE!‖ When SAF finally left because Phelan needed feeding I turned to Berba, ―What was all that about? What case? Who are partners? What‘s going on?‖ ―Ha ha Micky, you‘re so adorable…We are now partners, SAF thinks I‘m better suited to being a quasi-naïve fictional detective
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than being a really, really good footballer. I had one of those devices that self-destruct fitted to the case notes…you know the one you tried to get working. I can show you how it works if you like. Anyway, the case has now been erased and I‘m not allowed to divulge any information. You know the detective code. I knew you wanted to celebrate your birthday in peace so I covered for you. Whenever I went to a meeting I just took a wall covered with wet paint on it as your replacement. No one seemed to notice.‖ ―Well, what can I say, Berba, thank you… partner!‖ We high-tenned albeit in a slightly different way to the way me and Hargo do it, to avoid copyright infringement. Okay, so if what Berba has told me is right then the second you finish reading this sentence this document will self-destruct. It hasn‘t done it, has it? Ruddy thing! Berba!! Berba!! Okay, you‘re just going to have to dispose of it yourself. I don‘t know tear the internet into little pieces and eat it if you have too. Keep ‗em peeled!
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A MONTH IN FOOTBALL P W D L Pts
P W D L Pts Benfica Basel United
6 3 3 0 12 6 3 2 1 11 6 2 3 1 9
Basel 2 United 1 Champions League 7th December 2011 THE STORY An embarrassing result for United which saw them fail to qualify for the Champions League knock-out phase for the first time since 2005. A late Phil Jones consolation wasn't enough after Basel scored one in each half to progress. A trip to Amsterdam in the Europa League now awaits United.
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P W D L Pts 16 13 2 1 41 16 12 3 1 39 15 11 1 3 34
City Un Spu
United 4 Wolves 1 Premier League 10th December 2011
QPR 0 United 2 Premier League 18th December 2011
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THE STORY The best remedy for a poor mid-week result in Switzerland as United fans demanded a response from the lacklustre side. Rooney found his shooting boots again, netting twice; his first goals in the league since midSeptember. Nani added a double of his own as we dominated the West-Midlands club who had a consolation after half time through Steven
THE STORY United opened the scoring inside the first minute as Rooney continued his comeback to scoring with an impressive header. Michael Carrick scored his first of the season in the second half to end QPR‘s hopes of getting back into the game. United went top of the table, albeit for a matter of hours, as they continued to put pressure on City at the summit of the Premier League.
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City United Spurs
15 12 2 1 38 15 11 3 1 36 14 10 1 3 34
City United Spurs
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P W D L Pts 17 14 2 1 44 17 13 3 1 42 16 11 2 3 35
P W D L Pts City United Spurs
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P W D L Pts City United Spurs
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City United Spurs
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Fulham 0 United 5 Premier League 21st December 2011
United 5 Wigan 0 Premier League 26th December 2011
United 2 Blackburn 3 Premier League 31st December 2011
Newcastle 3 United 0 Premier League 4th January 2012
HE STORY Despite ing a difficult ound for United in cent seasons, the sitors barely broke a weat in their second atch in three days. elbeck fired United front inside five inutes. Goals from ani, Giggs, Rooney d Berbatov ensured nited three points d improved goal fference. The only gatives being injues sustained to oung and Jones.
THE STORY Dimitar Berbatov got the headlines as United settled for two back to back 50 victories. The Bulgarian scored a hatrick in only his second Premier League start the season. Goals from Park and Valencia added to the tally. Wigan were rightly aggrieved when Conor Sammon was sent off for an arm across Carrick‘s face but the three points never looked in doubt.
THE STORY It was no happy birthday for Fergie as he clocked up his 70th year in front of Old Trafford. United went two down against bottom of the table, Blackburn following a Yakubu double - the first being a penalty following Berbatov‘s push on Samba. The Bulgarian redeemed himself by scoring a brace to draw level but Grant Hanley scored late on to ensure a shock win.
THE STORY United suffered a blow to their title hopes as City took a three point lead at the top of the table the night before. United looked out of sorts against Newcastle and whilst the home side never dominated play, United failed to challenge Krul in the final third. Goals from Ba, Cabaye and Jones (OG) sealed three points for the Magpies and back to back loses for United.
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ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012
Ole Gunnar Soslkjaer. Now there‘s a name that stirs the memories and encourages every Manchester United fan to don their rose-tinted spectacles. After all, this is the man who won United the Champions League with that legendary toe-poke in 1999. The man who banged goals in left, right and centre while he was at United (eventually bagging 126 in total), and the man who became a cult hero at Old Trafford for scathing down Newcastle United‘s Rob Lee who was clean through on goal to preserve a one goal lead. But now, far away from the glittering lights of Old Trafford, the baby faced assassin is carving out a new career for himself, in management. Yes, that‘s right, the legendary striker took over the reins at his former club Molde and recently led them to their first ever league title last season, and looking in complete control as he did so. He might not be at Fergie‘s level just yet, but he‘s heading in the right direction. Prior to Solskjaer taking over at his starting club, Molde FK were languishing in 11th place in the Tippeligaen. Since his appointment though, things have been far from boring. Having a goal average of 1.8 a game (that‘s 54 in total, folks) coupled with an average of 1.27 goals conceded a
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game (38 in total) means that there is very rarely a bore draw at the Aker Stadium. Discipline hasn‘t been bad either under our very own hero, with Molde picking up 38 yellow and 1 red card in 30 games. Their success may be down, in part, to Ole but he has a
number of key players that he can turn to when the going gets tough. Their success may be down, in part, to Ole but he has a number of key players that he can turn to when the going gets tough.
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be likened to United‘s Welsh wing wizard due to his years of service to his hometown club.
THE BABY FACED MANAGER Harry addresses Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s managerial achievements in his native Norway with former club, Molde FK.
And then there‘s a name you may remember – Magnus Eikrem. The former red moved to Molde last summer and was vital to their title winning side, gaining plaudits as the best player in the league from many Norwegian pundits. Many have speculated that United inserted a buy back clause into his contract but one thing is for sure – he has a massive future. Because of the players‘ contributions, Ole was recently linked with the likes of Blackburn and Portsmouth. The speculation over the Blackburn move died down, however, when Venky‘s decided to give Steve Kean the vote of confidence. Portsmouth, though, seems like an attractive proposition for United‘s ex-reserve team manager, as it would give him a chance to bed down roots in England‘s managerial game.
The likes of Pape Pate Diouf who, in 21 starts, has netted 15 goals. His versatility means that he can play anywhere across the front three, giving Solskjaer an unpredictability in his team selection that many in Norway cannot match. Along with Diouf is Vegard Forren,
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a ball-playing central midfielder who, at one stage, was linked with a £5 million move to United themselves and Daniel Berg Hestad. The two form a decent partnership in central midfield and Hestad, Molde‘s captain and a fan‘s favourite, is a legend in Norway and could
If he were to do that, one thing would be for sure, Sir Alex would have another old boy to do battle with eventually and, who knows, one legend may be born from another‘s misfortune…
By Harry Sherlock @FootyFanatic
ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012
BORN AN This month we have put Will Lumb into the Born & Red hotseat as he discusses his horror at the 6-1 derby loss, his hate for Liverpool and why Kieran Richardson evokes such happy memories! Name: Will Lumb Age: 15 Occupation: None! Where do you reside? Manchester How did you become a United fan? Most of my family are reds, I had no choice! First match you attended? United vs Villa 2001/02. We won 1-0. Preferential seating area at Old Trafford? My season ticket is in the Stretford End Lower, but I can't wait to move up to the Upper, the atmosphere there is easily the best in the ground.
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Favourite ever United player? Paul Scholes. Favourite current player? Nemanja Vidic. Signing you were most excited by? Hate to say it, but Carlos Tevez. When he signed I was so excited at the destuction a forward line of Ronaldo-Tevez-Rooney could cause!
Best away ground? White Hart Lane. Best away experience? FA Youth Cup vs Liverpool last season, went 2-0 down and turned it round to win 3-2! Are you a shouter or a thinker at matches? Shouter! Best and worst things about the club? Best: The history, tradition and support. Worst: Small
Least liked United player? Heinze - the fact he wanted to join Liverpool is the ultimate betrayal. Are you an away match goer? I apply to most away games, but rarely get tickets due to the over subscription. Image Right: Best away ground White Hart Lane
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ND RED minority of fans that sing about rival clubs' tragedies, no place for that in football. Who do you want as the next United manager? Pep Guardiola, I love the football Barca play and think he'd warm to the challenge. Any experiences with players to share? I regularly meet players at the Reserves games I attend, only for photos/autographs though. Best match you've ever attended? United 4-3 City. What a game! Favourite piece of United memorabilia? A pair of Kieran Richardson's boots from the 04/05 season. Biggest rivals and why? Liverpool- I despise everything about them, my hatred has been increasingly
Image Right: Best away experience: United beating Liverpool in last season’s FA Youth Cup Final at Anfield.
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fuelled with the Suarez Saga. Best moment as a United fan? Winning number 19 - the explosion of emotion was something I will never experience again. Worst moment as fan? The 6-1- a horrible day, made worse by the United fans that abandoned the ground at 3-0. Biggest prick in football? John Terry. Sum up United's last season in ten words or less. We knocked the Scousers off their perch. Our best United XI? Schmeichel, G Neville, Edwards, Vidic, Irwin, Ronaldo, Scholes. Charlton, Giggs, Best, Cantona.
“The explosion of emotion was something I will never experience again.”
Ronaldo or Messi? Messi. Evening or weekend fixture? Weekend. Saturday 3pm. How it should be! Champions League or Premier League? Premier League. Old Wembley or New Wembley? Never went to the old Wembley but I don't like the new one at all, so I'll say the old. Scholes or Giggs? Have to say Scholes, he's my favourite player of all time but Giggs is an obvious legend. Home or Away? Tough one, I love being able to go to every Home game but the atmosphere at Away games is electric but rarely get to them. Stone Roses or Oasis? Love them both but I‘ll go for Oasis.
@Will_Lumb ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012
THE DAY THAT... United regained supremacy years without being crowned champions, never mind three. Sir Alex Ferguson was being labelled by many in the game as an ageing, out-of-touch manager who was being shown up by the younger Mourinho, the new sheriff in town. But he, and United, were to prove otherwise.
speculation about whether the two could play together at Old Trafford. There were no signs of a rift however, and the pair went on to have a breakthrough season for the Reds, netting a combined 46 goals - sixteen more than the previous campaign, and helping fill the void left by Ruud Van Nistelrooy‘s summer departure. Also leaving the club before the season started were Jonathan Spector, David Bellion and Quinton Fortune. Michael Carrick was the only summer arrival, adding to Patrice Evra and Nemanja Vidic who joined in the previous January. It would take a big effort for United to wrestle the title from Chelsea though, who finished eight points above Ferguson‘s side in 2006.
The season hadn‘t even started before United were apparently facing their first crisis. Wayne Rooney‘s sending off at the 2006 World Cup, and significantly Cristiano Ronaldo‘s involvement in it, had led to
The season started promisingly for the new-look Manchester United, taking maximum points from their first four fixtures. I was at Old Trafford with my Dad for the opening game against Fulham, anxious to see if
In a relatively new feature for the magazine, one member of the team reminisces about a particular day in United’s history pertinent to them... Of all of United‘s league successes that I have been around for, there‘s a special place reserved in my memory for the 2006/07 campaign. Before this victory, you‘d have to go back to 2003 for the last time Manchester United had won the Premier League. Arsenal were, quite literally, invincible in 2003/04, and the combination of a rich Russian owner and a ―special‖ Portuguese coach helped Chelsea dominated in the two following seasons. It was the first time in the Premier League era that United had gone even two
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our two brightest talents could put the incident in Gelsenkirchen behind them. Within 20 minutes, we were 4-0 up. Rooney scored one, and then assisted Ronaldo‘s strike about two minutes later. Panic over. Wins over Charlton, Watford and Tottenham followed, but then momentum was halted. Arsenal earned a 1-0 win at Old Trafford, before we were held to a 1-1 draw at newlypromoted Reading. Incredibly, this was the only stage over the course of the whole season where Manchester United were not occupying 1st place in the table. I won‘t go through the entire season, in-keeping with the title ‗The day that…‘ and not
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‗The season that…‘ Throughout the 2006-07 campaign though, two games in particular stand out, and they both came in the final stages of the season - or ―squeaky bum time‖ as Fergie refers to it. In late April, with Chelsea just three points behind us, we travelled to Everton. My brother and a bunch of his mates were all going to Goodison Park, and my jealousy turned to ecstasy when, on the Friday evening, one of them pulled out due to food poisoning. Though a little last-minute, I couldn‘t wait. A deflected free kick gave them a 1-0 lead to take into half time, meanwhile United supporters around me were
spreading word that Chelsea were 2-1 up at home to Bolton. Early in the second half, we celebrated Kevin Davies‘ equaliser at the Bridge, before literally a minute later watching on as Gelson Fernandes hit a screamer to double Everton‘s advantage. I remember my brother saying ―We‘re not coming back from this,‖ but I was quick to remind him that United could never be written off. A quite remarkable comeback ensued, and the 4-2 win stretched our lead at the top to five points. A week later, United made the short journey to Eastlands to take on (before they were noisy) neighbours
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Manchester City. With three games left of the season, a win here would take us eight points clear of Chelsea, who were playing Arsenal the following night. Three points would all but mathematically seal the title. I get nervous before every United game. I get twice as anxious when those games are Manchester derbies. And when those games are potentially title-deciding, well… you get where I‘m going here. The nerves were eased when Cristiano Ronaldo netted a penalty late in the first half, but I‘ll always remember the game for another penalty - the one awarded to City with about ten minutes to go. We had been comfortable throughout the second half but now, Darius Vassell could give Chelsea a huge boost in the title race. Edwin Van Der Sar had other ideas though, and though he dived past the ball, managed to keep it out with his legs. The last ten minutes were torture, but we saw the game out. The celebrations (both on the pitch and in my living room) after the final whistle told you everything you needed to know. The Premier League title was returning to Old Trafford. It was confirmed the next night as Chelsea were held to a draw at the Emirates. I remember watching that game in a local pub with a few friends, not knowing if I was more pleased about us winning the league or not being asked for I.D at the bar. One of my mates was a
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huge Chelsea fan (since 2003), so I took great pleasure in rubbing his nose in it. ―We got our trophy back‖, I sang for a good half hour. He got his own back a few weeks later in the FA Cup final, but given a choice I know which one I‘d rather win. Three years isn‘t an awfully long time in football, but it seemed like an eternity for United to go without the league title. I suppose we, as United supporters, had been spoiled with trophy after trophy for such a long time, that it was strange seeing another team who were better, stronger, faster, perhaps hungrier, and certainly more consistent. What I loved most about this title victory was the fact that it was the result of a long transitional period. From 2003, the last time we‘d won the league, this squad was barely recognisable. While many doubted Ferguson at the time, he had faith that
Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo would go on to be world-class, and built the fluid, attacking nature of the team around them. He already had Rio Ferdinand, and then in January 2006 added Nemanja Vidic for just £7m. He had realised that Kleberson, Eric Djemba -Djemba and David Bellion weren‘t up to standard, so he let them go. He also let Roy Keane and Ruud Van Nistelrooy, two great servants, depart at the right time. Edwin Van Der Sar and Patrice Evra were key acquisitions, too. It was the squad who, in the following year, would do the league and European Cup double, and almost repeat that feat in 2009. The rebuilding process had been a success (eventually) again, and United got their trophy back.
By Jack Harvey @Harvey_91
ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012
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Do you collect United programmes & memorabilia? Then why not join the Manchester United Collectors Club? You will receive six, 20 page newsletters per year covering every type of memorabilia. For further details send a SAE to: IAIN MCCARTNEY, 7 CARTHA ROAD, LOCHVALE, DUMFRIES DG1 4JB or email: itmccartney@btinternet.com
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO PURCHASE THE LIMITED EDITION BATTLE OF MANCHESTER MAGAZINE!!! Released in February 2011 prior to the Manchester derby, this magazine was written by both United and City fans. Only 500 copies were printed and a small handful are still available for purchase. Including features with Andy Mitten, Pete Boyle and David May amongst others. The magazine would make a perfect addition if you are a United collector. Cost per magazine: ÂŁ3 (within UK) payable via PayPal to: editor.fub@live.co.uk If you would like to pay by another means or live outside the UK please contact the above email address.
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The Final Word Christmas has been and gone for another year and the busy festive fixture list is slowing down, meaning hopefully some of those on the physio‘s table can work their way back into the side. Clawing back points has been United‘s achievement over the last month and, despite the disappointment of an early European exit and poor displays against Blackburn and Newcastle, there is much to be positive about as we move into the second half of the season. City better watch their backs, we‘ve got a tough month coming up but, unlike them, we know all about chasing titles.
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11, JANUARY Issue 11 is out on Sunday ISSUE 5th February 2012 2012