book
o The
Birth Stories section
Birth and Beyond
01
The Birth Stories — Be Inspired
There is no greater story then that of the birth of your baby. Each story is unique and has wisdom and truth to pass on to the next generation of women who are having babies. Be inspired.
book
o The
Birth Stories section
Birth and Beyond
01
The Birth Stories — Be Inspired
There is no greater story then that of the birth of your baby. Each story is unique and has wisdom and truth to pass on to the next generation of women who are having babies. Be inspired.
Renee & Zandra
01 birth story
Renee & Zandra
Zandra Rose was born on Saturday February 13th, 2010, at 8:02 pm, This is our birth story. The day my water broke was on Friday February 12th, I was doing my regular routine as of late; prenatal yoga, lunch, bath, then cuddles with my husband Zalman. All activities in service of supporting pregnancy and the natural start of labor as I enjoyed my 39th week of pregnancy. At yoga in the morning I was feeling particularly fuzzy, as our instructor would say, and decided during my drive home that the roads would be safer without me on them. I was slow behind the wheel and felt slightly stoned — not a great combination for driving. I returned home and told Zalman this after cuddles and he asked if I thought I was going into labor. I don’t know but something is happening, I replied. I figured the baby would let me know when the time was right.
At about 11 pm Zalman came up to our room and started readying himself for bed. Moments later as I lay on my left side in the bed I felt a slight release of waters, like a relaxation in my pelvis. I commented to Zalman and he came to my side at once as more water released. So this is what my membranes rupturing would feel like?
Zalman and I had a date planned for a local French eatery. I got all dressed up and we walked over for dinner. We dined on Filet Mignon, a chocolate tart and talked about the upcoming year and the travels we envisioned with our child. I recall the times my mother spoke of the day I was born — most importantly what she had to eat. Three weeks postdate I had been inspired to enter the world after Mexican food and margaritas. That story always made me chuckle and I do still love avocado, chips and salsa! Would red meat and sweets inspire my little one to enter the world?
As I sat on the toilet and my water continued to release I remember Zalman and I looking at each other with love and excitement. Wow! This is starting. This event we have talked about, learned about, dreamt about. Our waiting has come to an end and the beginning of this relationship is near. With this sign of water flow we get closer to meeting our child.
After dinner Zalman and I walked home slowly through the hills of our neighborhood. I was a bit spacey and wobbly on my feet, as my funky state of mind continued from earlier. Zalman was very tender with me and slowly guided me home with ease by sharing his balance. We arrived home and I went up to change and settle in. Zalman went down to practice bass and a certain calmness settled into our home.
So gentle and relaxing. We both looked at each other in delight and he carefully followed me to the bathroom monitoring my trail of waters for any color. Brown meant meconium in the amniotic fluid and was a sign that we needed to head to the hospital for support, other colors meant we were in the clear and could proceed with our planned home-birth. Our color was clear with slight pink tints, a clever hint for what was yet to come!
Around midnight I returned to bed and drank a glass of water, turned on a relaxation cd. I tried to relax as the feeling of mild cramping increased in my uterus and lower back. Zalman called Maria, our midwife, and Kathy, our doula, to inform them of my membranes rupturing. I dozed in and out until about 4:30 a m when I started to notice more of a rhythmic pattern to the surges, also known as contractions. For some time I was still able to lay on my side and notice these sensations. We lay together, holding one another, timing each of the urges until I was motivated by intensity to change position.
Wow! This is starting. This event we have talked about, learned, and dreamt about.
We approached 9 a m in the morning and Zalman had called my parents, his sister, and both the midwife and doula with an update. I lay in a hot bath and listened to music with candles burning. Maria instructed me to get out of the bathtub at this point because using the tub too early in labor can increase the chance of infection as well as slow down labor. I got out and found my way back to the bed where I lay comfortably resuming my comfort measures to manage the surges I was experiencing. They became more regular, nearing every five minutes for a duration of one minute and Zalman called Kathy and asked her to come support the next part of labor. Time passed and I labored through the surges for hours with the supportive guidance of Zalman and Kathy recommending a new labor position, offering affirmations, or simply providing a snack. I was feeling the surges in my back as well as my pelvic area and they started coming two at a time at this point. I used various things to help manage the strong sensations, including: breathing, relaxation exercises, and affirmations to self and from partner, change in labor positions, soothing hot water bottle, cuddles with my husband, showering, and music was very relaxing. The various affirmations I recited to self and by my husband Zalman helped me move through the most difficult parts of the surges. In particular, sitting in front of the bathroom mirror and looking myself in the eyes while reciting the affirmations out loud increased my comfort. These affirmations included words like I am birthing my baby, Every surge brings my baby closer to me, My baby and I work together, and I inhale and open, I exhale and soften. I inhale and get big, I exhale and soften. I inhale and widen, I exhale and surrender.
I am birthing my baby, Every surge brings my baby closer to me, baby and I work together, and as I inhale and open, I exhale and soften. I inhale and get big, I exhale and I soften. I inhale and widen, I exhale and surrender.
These affirmations which I had recited countless times during the months of preparation for this day helped manage from moment to moment in the surge. My body also was relieved by the opportunity to change position. Zalman and Kathy continued to encourage and remind me to change position to side lying or sitting on the ball or to hands and knees positions. I used each opportunity to move my hips in a circular motion and open my pelvic region. Each posture helped me to manage the sensation of the surge and feel mastery and control of my body. The music running through our house speakers from very early on in the labor until the birth was the Eternal om. I found the calming rhythm helped me go even more inward in order to birth my baby. Later in the afternoon, around 5 pm, I was laboring on the toilet when the surges started coming on with more intensely than before and every four minutes or less. I could feel the pressure in my bottom and it was the most intense feeling I could imagine. Zalman, Kathy and I decided to call Maria for her to come and check on my progress. Maria arrived at 6 pm, and she checked my dilation right away. Your at 10 centimeters she stated and I was delighted to hear the news. She quickly started to ready the room for the birth and called our second midwife, Sue, to assist. During the next 2 hours I labored with strong surges and the support of Zalman, Kathy, Maria and Sue. Maria was frequently checking the baby’s health, heartbeat, pressure on head, and my health, blood pressure, etc, during this time and consulting with Sue.
I was going more inward with long moaning breaths and an intensified experience of my internal world during surges. When the surge would come I would feel it intensely and then just focus on the affirmation inside my heart, With each surge I got closer to meeting my baby, My baby is safe and healthy, I open, I relax, I surrender. I also kept bringing into my mind the visualization that had been visiting me for the past couple weeks. Within this visualization my baby is released from my body and comes to land on my chest. Visualization helped me to imagine the endpoint, the other side of this transition period, giving me hope, and determination. Progressing the labor Maria encouraged me to try several different positions. I started laying out on my back, stood up for awhile as I worked to breath the baby down, used the birthing stool to help open the pelvic area, and finally ended up laying on my left side, with Sue pushing and opening my right leg. In the transition from one position to another position I used every opportunity in between surges to move my hips, move my body, move my arms. Ultimately, laying on my left side with my back pressed up against Zalmans chest I was encouraged to continue breathing the baby down with the help of some pushing. Push into my fingers, Maria said as she was pressing downward on my perineum, and creating more space for the baby. As I breathed I felt progress. I noticed the movement of the head downward and finally while pushing outside a surge I sensed the head of our baby transcend my pelvic region. I heard Maria say no cord and heard the support of those around me to allow the baby to turn as we awaited the shoulders to pass through my pelvis. I felt so open during this time; exposed, and quite vulnerable and strong as the shoulders and remaining body
I was not prepared for the negative emotions that came with the loss of my life
o Birth Stories
moved through into the outside world. My confidence high as I heard the first cries and saw the bright pink skin of my child as she came to my belly and chest. In the background I remember seeing the beaming faces of Maria and Sue as Maria announced that it was a very pink, healthy baby. Seconds later as I lay there relishing in skin to skin contact with my child, all I could see and hear was my child. All other voices were silenced as I tuned into my child for the first moments of life. As I lay there I thought, well, is it a girl or a boy? I peeked under the multiple blankets keeping her warm and noticed a cord — nope, that can’t be a penis I thought, explored further south. A vagina! A girl! Zandra Rose I exclaimed, between saying i did, i did it! At 8:02 pm she entered the outside world to join her parents. Zalman made way to cut the cord once the blood had stopped pulsating from the placenta. I lay there with baby on my belly knowing the final stage was coming, the birth of the placenta. Zalman removed his shirt and enjoyed skin to skin time with our Zandra while I focused on birthing the placenta. I nestled down off the bed onto the birthing stool while Maria and Sue helped me to invite my placenta to release, it had done its work and now it was now time to be birthed.
The placenta’s emergence felt soft and easy with some slight cramping. Both midwifes helped me back to the bed and Maria massaged my uterus to contract the organ and slow down the normal after birth bleeding. Later, Sue showed both Zalman and I my placenta. She explained how phenomenally it worked to grow our precious girl and pointed out the tree of life natural artistry which resides on one side of the placenta. I was in awe that this little sac was our baby’s home for all those months and that it had done so much for her. Zandra was taken to the foot of the bed for her newborn check as I rested on the bed. She was 6 pounds, 13 oz, clear lungs, and a healthy heart. All her systems were good. Slowly Kathy and Sue left and the house started settling back down remind me of that time right before my membranes ruptured the night before. Maria left some time later and Zalman and I embraced our child and relaxed into the euphoria which engulfed the three of us. This was a time of wonder with our little girl. Our first gift to her, the gentle birth. Oh Zandra! We are ready to be your parents, we are ready to help you negotiate this outside world, we are ready to love you and parent you for who you are. Thank you for joining our family!
A girl! Zandra Rose I exclaimed, between saying I did it, i did it!
02 birth story
Beth & Laurel
My labor started sometime on Friday, March 6. About midmorning, I realized I was having mild cramps, and decided to time them for fun. They were coming exactly 7 minutes apart. I told Devin, who was at work, and went about my day at home. He came home around three, and while he gathered supplies to make dinner, I figured I should go lie down and rest — to see whether the cramps would fade away. If this were real labor, I was going to need a lot of rest. Instead, around 5:30 pm, I felt a pop near my cervix. I called Devin in and told him I thought my water had broken, and I started to laugh. Fluid gushed out. I asked him to bring me a towel, which I held between my legs as I got up to go to the bathroom. Fluid went everywhere. I also lost my mucous plug onto the towel. That's when we were sure that this was real. I didn't want any dinner, and I didn't want to get up and move, so I laid on my side in bed and counted contractions by the stopwatch on Devin's phone. He laid with me for a long time, and starting and stopping the stopwatch gave me something comforting to focus on. My contractions were much more intense now, enough that I couldn't focus on anything else but the intense sensations and the resting in between. After a while, Devin filled the birth tub with warm water, and by 11:30 pm Nancy Myrick, our midwife, told us by phone that it would be ok for me to get in. The birth-tub felt wonderful, but almost as soon as I got in, I felt like I needed to push. I didn't know how to push, but I knew the feeling was a big deal. Devin called Nancy and she rushed over, along with Michelle Wellborn, then her apprentice. They called Sue Baelen over shortly after they got here. Michelle checked
my dilation — she said I was close, but needed to hold off on pushing a little longer, and I did. Devin sat by me, outside the tub, and held me between contractions. He also kept making sure I took sips of water or coconut juice to stay hydrated. Knowing that mostly wanted quiet time together, Nancy, Michelle, and Sue mostly left us alone; they took turns napping in another room and coming in to check on our progress and the baby's heartbeat, which stayed excellent throughout. Although I was often aware of very little outside my own body, it was good for Devin to be there, good that labor was mostly just the two of us. By now the pain was intense in my lower back, but I didn't want anybody touching me during contractions. I did my own counterpressure I don't recommend this, and the contractions were so strong that I needed to make noise. I yelled. A lot. Nancy told me to moan low, rather than high, to bring the baby down. I didn't want to move in the tub, so I crouched and moaned, dozed between contractions, crouched and moaned. Michelle checked me again. There was just a lip of cervix left, so she pushed that out of the way and urged me to push. But I could not figure out how. We stayed there a while, and my contractions slowed down a little. Finally, Nancy told me more than once, that I should get out of the tub. I didn't want to, but finally admitted to myself that it was a good idea. She told me to try sitting on the toilet. It was all the way down the hall — it seemed so far away, and every move brought on another contraction. I stood. And contracted. I stepped out of the tub and my legs nearly gave out with another contraction. After a few more, Michelle and Devin helped me walk down the hall, where I sat in the darkness
with Devin in front of me. That's when I figured out how to let go and push. Suddenly it all made sense., Nancy asked if she could check me. I was reluctant, although I don't remember why, so she asked me to feel between my legs. Do you feel anything that isn't you? she asked. No, I said. Another contraction came. She felt me, this time. I feel a head, she said. Do you want to have this baby on the toilet? she asked. No, I said reluctantly. Then you better move off. I stood up. Another powerful contraction came and the baby slid out, into Devin's and Nancy's hands. It was just before 5:30 in the morning, March 7. They lifted the baby into my arms. I have never felt anything so small, wriggly, slippery and perfect in my life. Nancy tugged on the cord, and with the next contraction the placenta came. By now there were at least five of us in the tiny bathroom, including me, the baby, Devin, Nancy, and Michelle, who had caught the placenta in a bowl. Nancy and Michelle helped us into the hall, where I laid down with our baby and both of us were checked from head to toe. After a few minutes, I realized we still didn't know what gender our baby was. I asked if anyone could see. I reached down, but the cord was in the way. Devin checked, and discovered that we had a baby girl
One of the first things Devin said to her was a quote from the game Portal, kind of a joke between us: Your specimen has been processed. We are now ready to begin the test proper. Devin cut the cord, and we let our daughter try to nurse, but she couldn't latch when I was on my back. We slowly moved to the bedroom, and Nancy asked me to shower so she could check me for tears. It felt good to be under the hot water, and then return to bed with Devin and our girl. Michelle brought breakfast. Nancy and Sue checked me again, and confirmed that I needed to go to a hospital — I tore, and too badly to be repaired at home. Nancy went with me to the hospital, and stayed with me through the hours it took to be seen, sewed up, and discharged. Michelle stayed with Devin and the baby, letting them sleep and tidying up the house. We had discussed two or three names if our baby were a girl, and while spending time with her, he figured out which one it should be: Laurel. It was lovely to come home to them — though I was beginning to realize just how sore I was. We nursed, and our midwives kissed us goodbye, and left us to the job of figuring out how to be parents.
Stephanie & Ezra
03
birth story
Stephanie & Ezra
We make our plans; then God sits back and has a good laugh, then He helps us with it. The story of Ezra’s birth begins many years before his actual birth. At one point I thought I was pregnant. I was nauseous and sick for 6 weeks. My sense of smell was heightened a hundred fold. I woke up every morning at 6 a m fully awake and ready to go. My world was turned upside down. However, no matter how many pregnancy tests I took, it said negative. At exactly six weeks from the morning I woke up I experience the worst pain and bleeding I’ve ever had and I’ve had some pretty terrible periods. I was ready to be mom, ready to be pregnant. My body and my husband however were not; so I tabled the idea and waited for Mike to catch up. I prayed to my God that Mike would tell me in a specific way that it was time to start a family. A year and a half later he told me just that. So we went off the pill and four months later we conceive. On January 4th, 2009 the day before my birthday, I woke up and knew that I was pregnant. The events of the day proved my suspicions. I was a vegetarian who eats fish. At lunch, I craved meat so badly that I ate 2 chicken sliders, 2 beef sliders, lots of shrimp, a side of boneless Buffalo wings, and all for my lunch. Then I went home and had a steak for dinner. This was more meat then I had in the past ten years. ja n ua ry 14th at 7:00 a m, the pregnancy test was positive. I started my prenatal visits like most women in America by making an appointment with my ob /gy n. After just two visits, I was struck by how systematized my appointments were. I felt like the 15 minute appointments just weren’t enough. Now don’t get me wrong, I loved my ob / gy n. She is very attentive, and very good at what she does. She was pregnant when I saw her for my first appointment at 6 – 8 weeks and then I didn’t see her again for another two
months. When she came back to work her outlook on water birth and home-birth was different. She encouraged me to research these things and was supportive if I chose to. I hired Maria sometime around my 5th month. The moment I met her, I knew she was the midwife for me. I suffered with severe nausea throughout ten months. I tried everything to make it go away and finally found Zophran, at first it was full price, then went generic. If I took this medicine, I felt all right for about 8 – 48 hours; if I did not, I would have been hospitalized. One of the best things about having a midwife for my caregiver is that she touched my stomach, feeling the baby at every appointment. She felt the baby every time and also used an old-fashioned stethoscope. She spent an hour with me every appointment. the birth – 7 pm We went to dinner, it was Thai. I felt great, like I was on top of the world yet scared and excited all in one and not quite sure of myself. I look back now and see that I was ready, preparing to give birth. tuesday sept 29, 2009 – 11 pm Woke up to go to the bathroom. On the way a warm liquid wetted my pants. It was not very much and all I could see of it was my mucus plug, which had the same greenish snot color. The water didn’t appear to have any color or smell. We called Maria, and Christina my doula as she had been to many births, to come over and then went back to sleep. sept 29 2 a m Already I was in the 411 stage, four contractions, one minute apart for at least one hour. These started only three hours after my water broke, so I was confused, as things seemed to be progressing very quickly so
This is what I have been preparing for. It seems I almost instantly knew what to do, yet at the same time I had no idea what I was doing.
I woke up my husband and called Maria. My thoughts at this point were excited. I was fully aware of my body, and my mind felt clear, I was ready for this. This is what I have been preparing for. It seems I almost instantly know what do yet at the same time I have no idea what I am doing. sept 29 5 am My husband was and still is the best supporter. He holds me, caresses me, and gives me words of encouragement. He does everything I ask. I remember back in the prenatal class with Jane Austin where she asked the question, What is my role in all this? Jane answered, Whatever she needs you to do. Well I needed Michael to do a lot of things. I needed drinks, I needed to be held up, but most of all I needed his hand on my tailbone. 6 hours I was starting to get agitated, then Maria suggested that I go into the shower. The moment the water touched my skin I felt relief, and an awe, almost an ecstasy between contractions. That evening I had given my mom the camera and showed her a few basic ways to use it and instructed her to take pictures, even though she was reluctant because she thinks she has no talent for these things. It turns out this was the best thing for her to do. She took pictures while I was in the shower. Looking back at them now I am amazed at what I looked liked. I can feel the moment deep with in my bones, my belly is huge and bulging yet beautiful and just how I was.
morning 6 am – 4 pm We try the tub. This is yet another miracle moment for me, a wave of pure lightness. As the contractions rush through my body I was able to lift my legs and hips off the ground and suspend myself in the tub. This is a most exhilarating feeling of floating and tensing up. Michael has now been applying pressure on my tailbone for about an hour. It turns out over the next two days his hand is on my tailbone almost the entire time. After the tub we walked up and down the hall. At the end I would collapse into my husband’s arm as my body shook with the rush. I no longer existed, my body took over and the pain and joy, and the tension was all there was. Maria suggested I sit on the toilet for a while. By 1:00 pm, we checked and I only about 4 cm dilated. The day passed in a blur of water, rubs, walking, and massive surges. evening 4 am – 11 pm At this time I was so tired. My husband says that I went to Maria asked, Am I almost done? I don’t remember this but I do remember thinking he was never going to come out and my tailbone was going to split in two. The second midwife came and she was very quite and calm. She checked me vaginally as well to get a second opinion, which was that I was 8 cm or even 7 but some of the cervix was over the baby’s head, preventing me from dilating to 10 cm and him from passing through. They tried to move the lip while I was having a contraction. I was very uncomfortable, as was the catheter Maria also used to help the process along, relieve a bit of the discomfort.
He did everything I asked, and more!
o Birth Stories
In the evening my contractions started to slow down. They were irregular in time and in strength so we tried acupuncture. This worked really well for a time. It brought on the contractions really hard but could not keep them consistent. We tried homeopathic herbs with no results. Maria sat us down and gave us our options about going to the hospital or staying home. By late evening we were tired and I felt that I needed to sleep but my husband wanted to try more. So he walked me up and down the hall. Helped me with leg stretches and squats until I couldn’t hold myself up any more. At one point I was laying on the floor waiting for the next surge and all of a sudden I threw up. Not just a little but everything I had eaten 20 hours earlier. I didn’t digest any of my dinner. It was embarrassing but honestly I was glad to get rid what was in my stomach. Then the tears came and from what I remember, the rest of the evening was done. I slept on the couch waking up every ½ hour or hour for a contraction. My mother kept track, how long they lasted and how far apart. By morning I was feeling better but still tired. thursday oct 1st day 2, 7 am We decided to have a talk in the bedroom about our options. I told him that if I had to go through another 36 hours of this with no results, I didn’t think I would have the strength to go the hospital. I would not be able to resist getting drugs or worse yet, they might have to do a cesarean. We prayed and felt the answer was to go to the hospital. When we told Maria what we wanted, she agreed that it was the best thing to do and that she was proud of me, and that I had done a great job and did all I could.
I had a small bag packed just in case. The car ride there was not fun. Thankfully I didn’t have a contraction in the car but his head was already so far down that nothing I did helped. Upon arriving at the hospital, my good friend Jackie was waiting for us. They got us situated with an i v and started fluids right away as I was slightly dehydrated even though Mike did a great job of making me drink the whole time. The nurses gave me a relaxer to calm me down because I was so tense but warned me that it would not help the pain of the contractions. They were right, the pain didn’t diminish but I was able to open my hands. I found myself asking for more, they could give me up to three of them and then they could give no more as it was about the size of 600 mg of Tylenol, I think; it was then I realized how tempting and how luring drugs were in this situation and I put it out of my mind. I would deal with my clenched hands and surging body in my own way. Now that I had the pitocin coming in strong and regular it was hard to get into a groove again. At home, it was easy as I was in familiar surroundings; I had all my props and comforts. I was now 8 cm and felt like things were going well until the head doctor on staff came in and informed me that if I wasn’t dilated at least 1 more cm by the time he came back in an hour then we would have to talk about cesarean birth. I freaked out. Thank God I had my support team there. Maria was great, she calmed me down and told me that it wasn’t going to happen, that we were so close, it would just take a little longer.
I spent most of the day in the shower. That is where I found my groove. Swaying back and forth, squatting with the water on my back was heavenly and hellish all at the same time. Jackie came in and told me that my contractions were one minute apart and that they were off the charts. She actually went and got the nurse who turned them down, when she saw how high they were. I remember this because I was so far in my mind that I was not able to speak, and the nurses kept coming into the room asking me questions and pulling my mind out of this deep primal place. My husband, God bless him, kept them away. The nurses kept asking if wanted my an epidural, y et. He told me to just ignore anyone who came in, to face the wall and keep doing what I was doing, and I did. I kept repeating open and soften, push this baby, out. By the late afternoon something had changed in me. Now I was out of the shower, the nurses changed me and dried me which was so helpful. For the next two hours, I was finally really pushing him out. I squatted, holding the back of the chair and screamed a real loud scream that I had not done yet. Maria suggested that I tuck my chin and instead of a high pitch scream, I should grunt down from my diaphragm. When I did this, I felt his head move off my tail bone and down in the canal even further. It only took a few more of these to know that he was on his way. I was so tired, physically my legs could no longer hold me up. I had to rest so I got on the bed and that is where I stayed.
My birth team was essential in my positive experience. Michael was very tired as well. He would hold me up with each contraction, and my mom would put her hands on his back to keep him up. Jackie and Michael were amazing at keeping my spirits up, encouraging me and helping me physically. My mom was amazing too though at one point I looked over at her and she had the most depressing look on her face. I said, Mom, that look on your face is not helping. So she put away her fears and focused on my needs and that was the end of that. Once on the bed, yes on my back but propped up, that’s when the pushing really began, dr. Norell came. She was the doctor we had seen for our hospital visit and we loved her. I was so happy that if my midwife could not deliver my baby she was the one that was going to deliver him. Everyone was around me. My legs were spread and my mother pushed one knee down and Jackie the other.
I can’t explain how much it helped to have them pushing my legs down. It was as if my body was a giant rubber band that needed to be stretched and held. I think back now and wonder if I had stayed in the squat position I would have had my baby so much quicker, eight hours of pushing him out was not what I’d had imagined for the final stage of labor.
The moment he came out, my belly fell. It freaked me out a bit. There was a lot of commotion, excitement and still some pain. I can’t even describe the rush of emotions that hit me as his head passed the threshold and his body slid out. He was given to Michael to place on my chest. Everyone had a hand in pulling him out, but my mom caught him.
Someone said I can see the head, and he has hair. I was so excited. They asked if I wanted to touch but It was so inside my head, so concentrating that I did not dare.
oct 1st 6:27 pm As they brought my baby to me and placed him on my chest I said, Is this my baby? Is this really my baby? At the sound of my voice, his eyes found mine. He knew who I was and he pierced me with such a stare that I will never forget that moment and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was real. This baby that grew inside of me for the past nine months was quite a miracle.
Then for no reason at all I put my hand down there and felt his head, and he really did have a lot of hair. After that my pushes were very strong. I wanted him out. They describe the head coming out like a ring of fire. To me it was like every pain, every anxiety, every hope and every fear all wrapped into one sensation. My belly was quite lopsided as I pushed him out, and I panicked about that for a moment.
I remember saying, He’s so beautiful, not like most newborns when they come out looking all weird. I really have to laugh at this because looking at the birth pictures he did look like a funny newborn.
They cleaned his face while he was laying on my chest. I was unaware at the time that I was naked and looking back at the pictures, my breasts showing in every picture but I do not see myself as naked but as one with my baby in a pure and perfect state. The first cry he made was on my chest. Then they took him with Michael to the other side of the room to get cleaned up, measured and weighed. When he was placed on the scale at 8 lbs, 12 oz, a cry of, Oh my God came out. No one expected him to be that big. I was still in a lot of pain because the placenta had not come out yet and was attached to the umbilical cord hanging out of me. Then I felt a slight shudder and gave a push and it slid out like a little fish. Now this may seem weird but it was almost orgasmic pushing out the placenta. It was so soft and supple compared to my baby.
I said, Is this my baby? Is this really my baby? He knew who I was and he pierced me with such a stare that I will never forget that moment and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was a God.
I can’t remember the exact time when he took his first suckle but I do remember it was amazing. There were sensations and emotions I had never felt before. I only needed three small stitches. I really feared, getting stitches and I can not believe the first time I get them is in my vagina of all places. I was numb from the birth and the shot they gave me before hand made me completely numb. Jackie held my hand because though I could not feel it, I could see the needle. It was not all that bad. I felt I could have gone through anything. After the Birth I feel like I was really prepared for all that had happened during the birth; knowing about each step, and what could happen. What home-birth and hospital birth meant with different procedures and care. I did not however realize what birth would do to my body over the next few days and weeks. The first time I stood up a huge gush of liquid followed me all the way to the shower. It seemed like gallons of pee that had been blocked by my enormous baby, fell out. I have to say here the nurses were so kind and so helpful, assuring me that the mess was normal, and nothing to worry about. They brought us both food, which was really amazing, and I ate most of what they brought, then helped us with all that we needed.
I was very sore, and the stinging in my vagina was out of control. Because my birth had been so long and my baby was on my tailbone for almost two days, there was a lot of damage, busing done inside. The last appointment with my midwife was at 6 weeks, and although most of the stinging had stopped, I was still very sore. We stayed in the hospital for two days. It was a good decision as I could hardly move and didn’t want to leave in that condition. If my mom had not been waiting for me at home I would have insisted we stay for a few more days. My baby was born. My husband was by my side. My mother, now a grandmother was waiting at home for us. It felt like the whole world stopped for us and life had just begun. That is until we didn’t sleep for 7 months; but that’s another story.
04 birth story
Leah & Beatrix
My birth-story is not poetic, but it's all there and I don't have the time for much more right now. When your a mom you will understand. November 23, 2008 noon Integral Body Acupuncture appointment 1 pm bumpy car ride down in the produce warehouse section of town beautiful sunny day contractions started around 6 pm. I felt a bit of flow like a period and called Sue called about my water break. She came with ph paper but it hadn't according to ph test November 22, 2008 9 pm It really broke around 9 pm sat up on couch from resting and felt two small rushes of fluid tested and the ph paper was very dark green like she said it should be. Called her and Dan Hascovec helped Rocky put plastic on our bed. Before Sue gets here! She came at 10:30 a m and gave me first round of Clindamycin Sue then left and advised us to sleep. I drank a glass of wine and went to bed. On the futon or on mattress not sure. nov ember 23, 2008, 3 pm went for a walk to try and move things along. Sue had told us at the last an bx dose that things needed to pick up by 6 or we'd need to do castor oil or have more acupuncture. Called around to find acupuncture but no luck. I was getting big rushes that were causing my ass to clench and I couldn't relax my anus so I shut myself in the bathroom and labored alone for about three hours. I would get a contraction and sit on the toilet with my feet on the cabinet and a little pillow behind my low back. In the bathroom, I got the urge to push. So I had Laura get Sue. We went into the living room and Sue checked my dilation for the first time. I was only at 6 cm but it was very thin and the baby was really, really low.
So I wasn't allowed to push. The urge got stronger and stronger and harder to resist. I spent about 4 hours on that futon with Sue on one side and Laura on the other. Blowing out contractions resisting the urge to push. Pushing anyway sometimes. I couldn't help it sometimes the push would just come, but I'd have to stop it and find a way to send it somewhere else. This was the hardest thing I've ever done with my body. Sue checked me again and I was swollen. More resisting. Then we tried some contractions with her hand inside pushing the cervix aside. Then Lis arrived and did the same a few times. I got grumpy with Lis about her cold hands. But she got the cervix clear and told me I could push. I got in tub with Rocky but was too hot and couldn't gather cord blood in the tub so I got out. Beatrix was born at 5:01 a m November 2nd, 2008. I pushed for about 1 hour on all fours with Rocky in front of me and I felt like only a very short amount of time had passed.
I turned and Rocky came around to the front and we held her while the cord was attached and she looked up at me with just a few bits of vernix on her face and she sneezed twice. Then she let out a sort of squawking squealing cry. The midwives felt she was a bit slow so I rubbed her to get her going. Then laid back in Rocky's lap and held her while Rocky cut the cord. It was pearly white. Sue and Lis worked on getting the cord blood collected while Rocky and I met our little Beatrix. I was so happy, so free of pain. So relieved to meet her and eager to make contact. I reached out and brought her in.
I felt her head a couple of times and saw it in the mirror. I very intentionally pushed slowly to allow my tissue time to stretch and Sue held a hot towel on my perineum for me. I was very involved in this aspect asking her to push less from time to time. When her head was born I put my right foot on the futon and pushed out her shoulders out. Sue checked for a cord around her neck, there was none.
Just a few minutes later they had me on my back and were working on my uterus and getting me to birth the placenta. I had no urge to push at all and no contractions so they had Bea on my belly and sort of let her root her way up to my breast. It was kind of a drag because they seemed to be telling me lots of things at once. Like there's no rush you can take your time with the placenta, sometimes it takes an hour for them to find their way to your tit. etc. and then also hurry up the placenta may be torn, she's breathing too fast and is too hot. There was a ton of fussing over if it was hot enough or too hot in the room. Then Lis said she wanted to give me pitocin to birth the placenta. I think I'd have been fine if they'd skipped the pit and just let me sit on the birthing stool which is what we ended up doing anyway. It came right out when I sat up.
It was work to get her shoulders out as they were broad and her arms were down across her body with her hands over her yoni. Sue says she was concerned she was stuck. But I got her out. When her body was born she passed some meconium but not before so it wasn't on her at all but just on me. There was a huge splosh because I hadn't lost much of the amniotic fluids.
Bea was breathing a bit too fast for them so Rocky took her and calmed her down without them having to use the bag on her. Yay papa! They had me in the toilet trying to empty my bladder so my uterus could come down. I got dizzy on the toilet so I curled up on the bathroom floor. My legs all bloody, but I still felt good and happy. They put a catheter in me, it hurt but felt good to drain my bladder.
Then they examined my yoni and told me I hadn't torn at all just one little split from stretching and cleaned me with bedadine. Laura helped me shower. Then they walked me to bed, gave me, one, stitch and put Bea to bed next to me. Sue left around noon. Other folks left before then. My perineum didn't tear at all, which was surprising to me because my vaginal tissue tends to be so fragile. I did get two splits anteriorly in my labial tissue which did not require stitches and one split in my taint that required what the midwife called one stitch but was about 3 – 4 passes with the needle. We tried a local numbing cream which was not enough and then did lidocaine shots and the stitches did not hurt after that. I lost very little blood. I chose home-birth because I felt it was the safest place to have my baby. I knew at home I would be comfortable and relaxed and not under any temptation or pressure to use pitocin or pain killers. I believe the time pressures hospitals put on women to deliver their babies often leads to the unnecessary use of pitocin which can contribute to increased heart rates and fetal distress which in turn leads to too many emergency interventions that I believe are not without risks to the baby.
Kandice & Blake
05
birth story
Kandice & Blake
f e b rua r y 23 , 2011 at 3:49 p m Blake Boyer Arceneaux was born. I often remember elegant words of wisdom echoed, If labor is like a marathon, birth is like crossing the finish line. I was so ready for this chapter of my life to be done and a new one to start. After months and months of pondering the possibilities of a Natural Birth, I decided that I would wait until my third trimester to receive consultation on the possibilities of an alternative for pain control, and birth. Though I did spend a significant amount of time talking with my husband, family and friends on this matter, I was perfectly aware that the final decision was mine and mine alone. Great anticipation coupled with the slight fear from various birth stories gone wrong was now front and center, as I knew that I would soon have to make a definite decision about where I wanted my birth direction to go. The statement Birthing is unlike any other pain that a human can experience, began to now replay over and over in my mind. As weeks 38 and 39 past and 40 on the horizon, every movement, kick and contraction began to bring the last nine months full circle, my time was getting very close. With each contraction growing closer in time and more pronounced, I said to my husband, Honey it’s time. After thoroughly making sure that we covered each step on our checklist, we quickly gathered our belongings, as well as ourselves and headed to the hospital with plans to come home with Blake very soon. Our plans were quickly dissolved by this simple statement, I apologize Mrs. Arceneaux but your cervix has yet to dilate enough for the entrance of your baby. I was not sure what this meant so I asked for clarification, the doctor said that it’s simple, Your baby is not ready to make his grand
appearance, and then stated, I am going to have to ask you and your husband to go home and walk around for the next day or so to assist in the dilation process. I understood but the pain from each contraction seemed to have distorted my hearing. I then asked the doctor once again are you sure? I was informed, Ma’am, this does not appear to be your time. Slightly discouraged, my husband and I headed home with one agenda, for me to get walking and for Blake to get moving. Mission accomplished! I woke my husband up and asked if he could call the emergency room to alert them that we were once again coming in. At this point the contractions were so intense that I knew that either my time was close or something was going to have to be done medically to assist with my discomfort. Upon arrival, the doctor immediately checked to see if my cervix was dilated enough. She stated, It appears that we are now about to have a baby. The actual countdown had begun. She then began to mention the great advances in obstetrical anesthesia and the option of a controlled customized pain relief was to appear more and more intriguing, especially as the pain began to rapidly increase. Once again we discussed this option and then with minimal effort uttered that one word, the dreaded, epidur a l. My pain management was now far beyond the my threshold and I felt something needed to be done immediately prior to me possibly putting our unborn son at risk. My doctor shortly after contacted the anesthetist to start the administration of the epidural. After the administration of several shots, a short duration of time had passed and I asked if I was supposed to have feeling in my legs.
I headed home with one agenda, for me to get up and walking and for Blake to get out. Mission accomplished!
My pain management was now beyond my management threshold and I felt something needed to be done immediately prior to me possibly putting our son at risk.
The nurses began to mention the great advances in obstetrical anesthesia and the option of a controlled customized pain relief birth. This began to appear more and more intriguing, especially as the pain began to increase rapidly. I talked this option over with my husband once again and then with minimal effort uttered one word, epidural. If I had to do it all over again I would not change a thing, even the complication, the loss of mobility in my legs that followed the delivery that caused me to be hospitalized for a week before being able to start my life independent of any medical help. These trials helped me to be to be a better mom, to put my faith in God and to trust him. Though I am not sure I'd risk it again.
The doctor stated that it was perfectly normal until the medication had completely taken its course. As time passed, I still had great deal of sensitivity so the anesthesiologist decided to administer a couple of additional doses to hopefully complete the prescribed process.
In conclusion if I had to do it all over again I would not change one thing, even with the complications the loss of mobility in my legs that followed the delivery that caused me to be hospitalized for a week before being able to start my life independent of any medical help as a new mom.
I vaguely remember the time that lapsed during the duration between six and 10 cm but as soon as the doctor said it was time to start pushing, things seem to move at an extremely fast pace. Before I could take a breather, little Blake had arrived. He was 7 lbs, .06 oz, and 19 ½ in long.
I know without question that those events were events that God allowed to happen to strengthen my faith in him which would help me be a stronger wife, daughter, sister and mother to Blake. Through it all I had amazing support from my husband, my sister, my friend Liz, my cousin Imani, my mother, my mother in-law and my mom’s group. I don’t believe I would have been able to stand if it were not for these people helping me, directing me and blessing me with whatever was needed to make my introduction into mommy hood a pleasant one.
The one thing I do recall during the final stages of the labor process was this peace that seemed to hover over all present as eyewitnesses to this beautiful event. It was almost as if the earth and all of time’s variables had stopped, leaving everything with the exception of my husband, the delivery room doctor, our baby, and myself, in this euphoric state of extreme slow motion until that final push as I worshipped singing How great is our God. Everyone present seemed to have exhaled too as the doctor placed the missing piece to my heart on my chest, I remember this face looking up to meet my face staring as if to comfort me with a presence that rang I will protect you I smiled and named this little face.
I thank God that he has blessed us where I am able to stay at home with Blake. These days Pascael and I enjoy watching our son overcome the many milestones of being an infant. Blake is 13 mo now, he so eager to walk he wakes me up at 4 a m to get his practice in walking then he sits down to signal that he’s sleepy, then I carry him off to his crib and he peacefully goes back to sleep. It is the cutest thing to watch. This moment shows me how blessed we are to know and raise Blake Boyer Arceneaux. Thank God for our son’s sweet arrival.
06
birth story
Anesthesia & 2 Births
The first time, I went into labor it was a beautiful sunny day, my first contraction having come on the way to my friend’s mother-blessing. My contractions continued after three hours there, Erik, my husband and I walked around Golden Gate Park for two hours. Then at home, I labored on all fours over a yoga ball. Erik set up our bedroom with candles and a birth altar. I got into the birth tub and time slowed down; the contractions were like waves, ebbing and flowing. I expected my baby to be born before the morning. The next thing I knew, the sun was up and my baby was still inside me. I got out of the birth tub, walked up and down the stairs, submitted to nipple stimulation, downed various herbs. Finally, to get my labor to pick up again, Nancy, my midwife, broke my bag of waters. I had a moderate amount of meconium. After 22 hours of labor, I was tired and relieved that we had to go to the hospital. There, I had an epidural so I could rest. After a few more hours, I was fully dilated, the baby had dropped, and it was time to push. I couldn’t feel anything, and being on my back was so antithetical to everything I had prepared for, that I resisted all coaching. I pushed for 3 hours and 45 minutes, finally giving birth to a healthy 9 l b, 4 oz, baby boy, and experienced second degree tearing. Though I did not have my dream birth, it was good. I’d had a large baby without being forced to have a c-section, and my baby and I emerged healthy. Deep down, I felt I had failed myself. Perhaps if I had just relaxed a little more, if I had truly believed that all women are inherently able to birth their babies, that would have made all the difference: my labor wouldn’t have stalled, there wouldn’t have been meconium, and my baby would have been born at home.
Three years later, as I prepared for the birth of my second child, I had to confront my self-judgment. The fear of failing again was putting tremendous pressure on me. At 36 weeks, I completed an exercise in which I was asked to think about all that went right with my first labor. I realized that 22 of the 31 hours were wonderful. That time was just as I would have wished it to be; my labor had that beautiful timeless sensation that proved to me I had trusted my body completely, and I could do it again. A few weeks later, I went into labor one afternoon at work. For the first hour, the contractions were easy. In the second hour, as I walked home, the intensity and frequency increased. When I got home, I called Erik and Nancy, and in between contractions, bustled around trying to ready our messy bedroom. Thirty minutes later, I called Erik again, letting him know that one of my contractions had scared me and I needed him. He came home soon after, and scurried around, when not tending to me, trying to recreate the sacred conditions of our first labor. Half an hour later, I admitted to him that the contractions were much stronger this time and I needed Nancy to be there. Once Nancy arrived, I decided, as before not to have my dilation checked, as any negative news would have disheartened me. Though it wasn’t ready, I insisted on getting into the lukewarm, three-quarter-filled birth tub. The contractions this time were powerful. I stood up in the birth tub, clamping my legs together, dancing on my toes to get away from the intensity. Nancy asked me to squat in the water, to give myself over to the power of the squeezes. I was scared, but I did it. On the next squeeze, I let out a long, loud, powerful roar: the only way to deal with the force.
Next, I sat on the toilet, with Nancy and Erik holding my legs down, forcing me to keep my feet flat on the floor as I contracted. Nancy checked me, announcing that I was complete. I reached down and felt my bag of waters bulging out of me. On the next contraction, my bag burst.
I believe that the hospital industrial complex, many obstetricians, and society in general spread a message that childbirth is mortally dangerous and that women are not capable of giving birth without doctors’ heroic measures and technological interventions.
Then Nancy asked me where I wanted to have my baby. I was still processing the news that I was complete, and felt the birth of the baby must be another two hours off so I didn’t answer her. Erik knew I wouldn’t want to give birth on the toilet so he and Nancy guided me back to the bedroom. I crumpled to the floor as
While I acknowledge that many women throughout history have died in childbirth and from related complications, it’s obvious to me that on whole, women actually are fully capable of safely growing and birthing babies.
I was caught in mid-contraction. After that was over I asked Nancy what stage this was. She said calmly, This is pushing. But I didn’t know how to push! I had failed pushing last time! She instructed me to bear down. I was afraid of the force, but I tried a gentle push. That resulted in the most powerful sensation I had ever felt and again, I let out a loud bellow. With two powerful, roar accompanied contractions, Blaze was born: 8 lbs, 5 oz and no tearing. I was stunned. I had just had a 5 ½ hour labor! Over the next week, I kept processing it. At first, I felt that I had nothing to do with it. I had been scared, running away from those powerful contractions. Even the few times I had the courage to face them, they just steam-rolled me. I said to Nancy, It wasn’t me. I wasn’t there. I was running away every chance I got. No, she said. All that power was you. It was your body. As a feminist and a person who tries to make a limited impact on the earth and do things as close to nature as can be done in the 21st century, when it came to having my two babies, I chose home-birth.
I wanted to give birth in as relaxed and confident a manner as possible, in a familiar and safe environment, with people I trusted. I knew I was healthy and a good a very candidate for home-birth. I also knew that giving birth in a hospital significantly increases one's risk of unnecessary interventions. We engaged a trained and certified nurse midwife, Nancy, and had really informative long bonding prenatal appointments. This allowed us to get all of our questions answered and to develop a trusting relationship with Nancy. I had a few visits with a hospital midwife, our local hospital was, at the time, very supportive of parallel care with women who were intending to birth at home. Kristen, a friend of my partner, Erik, had a home-birth and I was intrigued about why she chose to do something that sounded so strange and old-fashioned. I questioned her, and it was clear that home-birth is a very feminist thing to do and that it meshed well with the natural and simple living values I hold. So Erik and I read everything in the home -birth canon and came to believe that as a healthy woman, home-birth was a viable option for me.
Julie & Avin
07 birth story
Julie & Avin
december 27, 2009 2:09 am Avin Cipriano Mateo, was born. The holidays and Christmas already brings feelings of joy and celebration, now even more with the birth of our son being born two days after Christmas adds another special element during this time of the year for my family.
I got up and felt something drip out from under me. I slowly walked to bathroom the best way I can while trying to keep my legs shut. I sat on the toilet and noticed a slight pink tinge on my underwear with liquid trickling out of me and was out of my control.
It was Christmas Day and since I was a week away from my due date, we had no travel plans to be out of town like we normally do every holiday and decided to stay home and keep it low key. On Christmas day we headed to Union Square for an afternoon of sipping hot chocolate, holding hands and just enjoying the sights. That day was so cozy, wonderful and joyful. I was so happy and grateful for all that was happening and that our little gift was right around the corner. Later that day I started to feel contractions as we walked back to our car, but was thinking it was a probably a bit of the spices from the Thai food we ate that day and the walking we did.
Feeling a little shaky as if a rush of adrenaline started flowing through me, but at this point I did not feel scared. I knew this was it, it’s baby time and I just have to go through whatever comes next and go with it.
That evening my sleep was disturbed as usual with frequent trips to the bathroom and some discomfort on my back. It was around 3 a m my back was beginning to feel more annoying than it was painful. At the same time I also started to feel contractions but it was nowhere close together and timing was all over the place. I was getting tired and restless and I shifted positions, moving from side to side and finally getting out of bed to stretch and got up to lie down on the couch where I found comfort having my back up against the cushions of the couch. Sigh of relief, the contractions subsided, my back felt better, and I was just getting back to that stage of the drowsiness and that fuzzy warm feeling of drifting back to sleep when all of a sudden I heard a pop! I was afraid to get up not knowing what had just happened and of what’s to come.
I checked for signs of meconium and unfortunately I noticed a dark greenish color, which was our cue from our birthing classes to call the hospital and to let them know that we are on our way. I felt a bit disappointed that I wasn’t able to stay and labor at home as I had hoped but I set that feeling aside knowing I’m doing the right thing for the baby. I called out still seated from the toilet for my husband Allan who was sleeping this whole time. I still laugh to this day thinking of my husband rushing to me from the bedroom. I tried to call out to him in a much calmer manner as not to panic him, but he knew that something was different from the few times I had awaken him before. I told him my water broke and I can tell that he was trying to remain calm, as he was slipping and sliding across our wood floors trying to get him self and our things together that we just packed the night before. I laugh because I was calmly getting ready, I figured I should at least brush my teeth before we head out, but here is my husband looking frantically slipping and sliding and a look of confusion as to why I’m brushing my teeth. I knew in the midst of being woken up in the early morning and what just happened, my husband was excited and nervous
o Birth Stories
I noticed a dark greenish color, which was our cue from the birthing classes, to call the hospital and to let them know we were on our way. At that point I felt a bit disappointed that I wasn’t able to stay and labor at home as I had hoped, I set that feeling aside knowing I’m doing the right thing for the baby.
all at the same time. We got to the hospital around 5:30 a m and my contractions finitely were getting stronger but they weren’t getting closer. At the hospital we tried walking up and down the aisle of the maternity ward, stretching, sitting on the stability ball and doing squats to get things going.
It was 11 pm when the nurse noted the time that I started to push, when she said, ok you’re fully dilated, it’s time to start pushing, I was excited but I was also nervous thinking wait, I’m not ready, what does that mean? I don’t think, I know how!
I tried not to look at the clock as to not get discouraged by the minutes and hours that was going by.
Perhaps I did not know how to push, either the way I was pushing or the position I was in was not working until one of the nurses handed me a sheet to hold on to that she folded length wise so that it resembled somewhat of a rope that I could hold on to. I grabbed on to it while it was securely attached to a bar in front of me and I grabbed and pulled on to it as hard as I can as if I was trying to pull myself up but bearing down at the same time. I knew it was finally progressing the way it should because the nurse had paged and called for the doctor and they were removing the extension of the bed underneath me aside.
At some point that morning the attending doctor suggested and highly advised me that I receive Pitocin. My husband and I had a moment to discuss it and agreed that it was the right thing to do. I wish I can say from that point on things progressed quickly but it didn’t, I continued to have contractions that were getting more and more intense but they were not as close together as I would of liked and to have appear and see in the charts. It was around 3 or 4 pm and I had every intention to get through labor and delivery without medical relief, but at that point I was exhausted, the contractions were getting intense and was feeling closer together. The doctor checked to see how dilated I was and I assumed this has got to be it, I should be at least 9 cm dilated. When the doctor came in to check me, I was so disappointed, I felt discouraged when she told me that I was only 4 cm?! I was so tired all I wanted to do was lie down and take a break. Immediately after I was checked, and eagerly asked for the Epidural. From the moment I asked for it to the moment I finally was able to get relief didn’t come soon enough, but oh the relief I instantly felt was bliss. I still felt each contraction and a lot much discomfort, but it was more manageable and I was able to relax, lie down. I even got to take a little cat nap.
The final moments, pushes were extremely intense, the nurses and doctors as well as my husband were cheering me on knowing that they can all see the baby right about to come out. I had my eyes closed pushing as hard as I could as all sorts of immense pain, pressure and other indescribable feelings of everything that was happening to my body as the baby came out. Finally after three hours of pushing, on December 27, 2009 at 2:09 a m, our precious son, Avin Cipriano Mateo was born. Avin was born at 6 lbs, 3 oz and 19½ inches long. My heart warms up as I see my husband’s eyes fill up with tears as he saw his son being born and meeting him for the first time. My husband was wonderful.
In hindsight, pregnancy, hours of laboring, and delivery, is the easy part, it’s now trying to figure out what to do from here.
He catered to my every need during pregnancy and was my strength and encouragement during labor and delivery. Allen is now an even better husband, and in that moment became the most loving father to our son. It’s amazing how just about two years ago when we held our precious sleeping newborn at the time that our lives had forever changed. It was not that long ago I was holding this tiny little baby in my arms so peaceful and quiet in his swaddle, to now chasing after a running, playful, silly yet affectionate little boy who’s about to turn two years old. My heart is overjoyed and filled with gratefulness as I watch my son grow and capable to do and say new things. It was such a treat for my husband and I when we take Avin to the zoo, a new playground, to see pumpkins or Christmas trees or anywhere for that matter because Avin’s world is all about play, and exploration. He brings us so much joy when we see his eyes light up and he is full of joy, light, and laughter. Having Avin in our lives has truly been life changing and challenging in so many ways, yet so amazing and truly fulfilling. He amazes us everyday and we still find ourselves staring at him in awe as he sleeps. Our son’s birth story is just one of the stories of how truly blessed we are and a special moment in our lives that perhaps in time we won’t be able to remember every detail but a story that will remain forever in our hearts. In hindsight, the pregnancy, hours of laboring and delivery, is the easy part, it’s now trying to figure out what to do from here.
08
birth story
LaNiesha & Myles
Let me start by saying I love being a mom, but cannot say the same thing about being pregnant. So lets skip nine and a half months and go to 39 weeks, 5 days. I don't know why people always say you are pregnant for nine months when its actually ten. july 20, 2008. I remember laying flat on my back starring intently at the cracks in the ceiling wandering how I was going to maneuver myself out of bed in time for church. So, first I lift my head then a foot. No, that doesn’t do anything. Then I do a shimmy then a shake and realize I'm in the same spot. I think I have it. One leg then the other, now slowly lift my head and I am up and do what some might call a martial arts type of move and hey I'm on my feet. Not like I can see my feet but I felt the feeling of the cold hardwood floors in between my toes. I call for my husband who was getting ready in the bathroom and he slowly helps me in the shower. In the shower I just look down at my belly and notice three stretch marks that magically appeared out of nowhere. I grab my towel and put on the first thing that fits. I remember leaving the house and saying to myself No, not stretch marks. As I'm thinking this I start feeling the baby’s head as I walk to the car. I went to the doctor the week before and she told me the head was low, but I was not dilated. So I just took that as no baby anytime soon. During church I felt like I wasn’t potty trained because every 5 minutes I had to get up and pee and pray that the pee wouldn’t make it out before I made it to the rest room. I thought to myself I should just stay here because by the time I get up I will have to sit right back down and urinate again. But I chose to get up and go back inside.
As I wobbled down the aisle I had this death stare on my face that said no one better come over here and touch my belly, or else.
clean up this water. I have to, I have to. My husband says in the nicest way possible no, you're crazy, we are going to the hospital. He drove faster and faster.
As I'm looking at him, I'm in amazement and awe of the blessing that God has given us. He trusts me and my husband to take care of one of his children.
After church I was talking to my husband and he reminded me that his friend who had 4 kids at the time told me to drink raspberry tea to bring me into labor. So I went to the back and drank 4 bags of raspberry tea. Ok ok not four, two bags of tea.
Then it came, the mother of all contractions and I say to myself, what, I change my mind, then I say to my husband baby turn around
My husbands eyes are red from exhaustion and yet he looked full of life. I was holding my son, my husband was holding me, and God was holding us. What a blessing this was and we had done this together!
I didn’t feel anything different and thought to myself, we shall see. After church a group of us went to a crepe place not too far from us and had lunch. I remember sitting and I began tot feel really uncomfortable. I started feeling a lot of pressure in my northern region or is it my southern region; down below. My dear, sweet husband asked me if I was all right and I told him I was ok but wanted to go home. We said by to our friends and we slowly walked to our car. When we arrived home I took a nice warm shower, put my sugar daddy boxers on and my husbands v-neck shirt and laid down in our comfy bed. At about 11:58 pm I felt the baby kicking harder and harder. I said to my husband hey, wouldn’t that be funny if my water breaks tonight? We said our prayers together and as soon as we finished I felt the hardest kick of my life and then pop my water broke. And no, I don’t mean a cute little tinkle, but an explosion of water. I felt like I was peeing for me and ten other people. I rushed to the rest room and saw the nastiest looking thing in my underwear. Yes, the mucus plug, I gagged then threw it away. I wobbled to the kitchen to grab a mop to clean up the water. I say to my husband we can’t go to the hospital yet, I have to
I change my mind we cant have a baby, we cant I'm scared, tell him to stay in, tell the baby to stay in. tel l l l h i immmm . My husband just drives and says, its all right baby, we can do it. We get to the hospital and the nurse sticks her hand in my vajayjay and tells me that I'm grossly ruptured. I ask myself wait did she just tell me I'm gross? Well, I didn’t have time to clarify before another contraction came. At this point my head started spinning and I began speaking in a Barry white and James Earl Jones kind of voice. My husband look frightened and come to think about it, so did the nurse. I remember the best three words that came out of my mouth where's my epidural? Thirty minutes later the I was in sweet relief. It was smooth sailing from there on out. Unfortunately, they gave me the button to control the medication and I lost feeling in my legs and vajayjay. When it was time to push I could not lift my legs , so with the help of my husband, the nurse, my sister and the doctor, ha-ha my legs were steady. I told myself to concentrate, concentrate, push, push, push. That was really hard to do with my sister snapping photos of my privates. Focus girl, you can do this, you can do this. 45 minutes later, July 21, 2008 weighing 7 lbs, 11 oz and 21 inches long my baby boy emerges.
Jennifer & Mateo
09 birth story
Jennifer & Mateo
Dear Mateo, These are your mama’s memories of your birthday. I was due Oct. 3rd, 2011. Fortunately I had the month prior off work I used the time to prepare the room, the house, and myself for your great arrival. And indeed I felt prepared, the last week, was a waiting game, wondering what a contraction felt like, wondering where I would have been when they started, wondering if Grandma would make it from New Mexico just in time for your birth, and so much more.
Arthur and I woke up, had breakfast, went to get your car seat installed with California Highway Patrol. Stopped at Noah’s Bagel and came home to relax. Grandma got to the house at 11 a m. Amanda from Glad Tidings was kind enough to pick her up from airport. We chatted for a while and decided to go for a walk. It was a beautiful San Francisco day — I really could not have asked for more. We walked down to Baker Beach, Arthur and I even put our feet in the water, felt great!
october 12th, we were at church and I joked with everyone that you would be arriving tomorrow, if you were anything like your mom, you would be on time. If you were anything like Dad, you would probably make your debut the following week.
The contractions continued, but very manageable. When we began walking back to the house, they were intensifying. The scorching sun and the uphill were making the trip back a little more difficult. As I felt a contraction approaching I tried hard to get to the nearest shaded area — once there, I dealt with the sensation. It felt best when Arthur wrapped his arms around me from behind and lifted my belly, for some reason that eased the pain.
1:45 am october 13th, 2011 my first contractions began. Just think I was concerned that I did not know what was the feeling of a contraction. A pattern quickly developed; I needed the rest room, once in there I’d have a cramp, and fifteen minutes, I needed the rest room and then got a cramp, and the pattern continued. Lying in bed, I looked for flights for your Grandma. I knew she needed extra time considering she lives 2.5 hours from airport and needed to catch the 2 hr flight. I found a southwest flight at 8 a m, which did not give her much time. I woke up your Dad telling him that I was getting contractions and asked if I should call Grandma. He begun to time each contraction, which were about 15 minutes apart — and at 2:30 a m decided to call home. Grandma did not answer, but luckily, Grandpa did. At that hour, they were both in a panic. Grandpa asked if I was breathing, if it was time, and Grandma was ready to roll out of bed and jump in the car. I had to calm her and tell her about the flight info.
Back at the house, I took a bath, that relaxed me, and we ate lunch outside. At 2:30 a m, my contractions started arriving with a lot more force. Arthur was so awesome and helped me through every contraction. Again, we found odd positions. He sat on a small stool and I sat in between his laps as the contraction occurred. Feeling the support of his body helped ease the mental and the physical pain — thank God for Arthur! We did this for a few hours, walked from room to room, having contractions, Arthur and Grandma fidgeted with the efm that tracked and graphed contractions. To me it was amusing and annoying at the same time. Sitting over the toilet, I lost my plug — at which point I decided it was time to go to the hospital. It may have been amusing to the passing cars, as they watched me bear a contraction at the cross walk, I did not care.
It felt best when Arthur wrapped his arms around me from behind and lifted my belly, that seemed to ease the pain.
Pushing was a completely new experience, I did not know how to do it. As seen on tv, I pushed and let out loud screams. The nurses re-directed me and told me not to let out screams but instead I should hold my breathe.
Well that certainly was not what I learned in the movies.
o Birth Stories
When we arrived at cpmc, we went to the Admittance Room where they check me and determine if they are ready to be admitted to the hospital. Unfortunately, there were so many other babies wanting to debut that there was no rooms available,so they were unable to check my progress. There was lots of chatter amongst the nurses that they did not have any delivery rooms available. Luckily, they found a room by 6:30 pm. The time spent in the hospital was a bit of a blur. I remember the nurse being more straight-forward than friendly. I knew that I did not want an epidural, but was open to the idea of drugs if needed. During a contraction, I cried out and that’s where I decided I needed something to ease the pain. The nurse informed me that she was not comfortable giving me any medications because they could not get a good read on the heartbeat. They placed a small monitor on my stomach and it continuously moved or fell with each contraction. Time passed, another extremely painful contraction hit, and yet again, I cried out and begged for some sort of medication. At this point, the nurse told me it was too late, I had dilated too far, and any drugs that they would give me would go straight to the baby and I would not feel a thing. I pleaded for something, Tylenol, an epidural, anything but they gave me nothing. Soon the heartbeat fell extremely low which raised concern for the nurse and the doctor. I’m not certain because I did not allow them to check my progress.
I believe the nurses made me begin pushing before I dilated fully. The doctor on call indicated that the hospital was full of women in labor, but was in my room because of her concern over the low heartbeat. She indicated that we needed to get him out now. Pushing was a completely new experience for me, something I did not know how to do. As seen on tv, I pushed and let out loud screams. The nurse redirected me and told me not to let out screams but instead hold my breathe. Well that certainly was not what I learned in the movies. Arthur was instrumental in helping me push. He held my hand, we locked eyes, he counted up to three, and he would make a pushing face, I would push again. Without Arthur, Mateo might still be in my womb. I pushed for approximately 45 minutes before his head peeped through. That was a feeling like none other; I probably forgot what it felt like already. All I remember was a painfully, intense burning sensation and soon after a sliver as the remaining of his body slipped through — that actually felt good — in comparison of course. The doctor had reason to be concerned as the umbilical cord was wrapped around Mateo’s neck, leaving his body purple, hence the low heartbeat. They put my baby on my chest immediately and cleaned him up a little bit, but he still were not breathing. The nurse took him away, and as Grandma says, they roughed you up, so that you would begin crying. Grandma went with Mateo and the nurse cleaned him up and ensure everything went well, and Arthur stayed with me while my placenta was making it’s arrival.
Grandma left the hospital soon after you were breathing, to leave the special moments for us. Arthur gave Mateo his first bath while I ate dinner. That night in the hospital was calm as you slept almost all night. Unfortunately, Arthur did not have a cot and had to sleep in the chair. Half way through the night, I invited him to sleep with me in the bed. The second night, now that was a different story. Mateo would awake nearly every hour on the hour. Mateo, was such a cute baby! Born with a full head of hair, beautiful complexion, and precious features. It was amazing how our love over-flowed at the sight of our baby. On October 13th, 2011 this date forever hanged our lives; we are blessed to have him, a special gift from God.
10
birth story
Crystal & Amafaye
I had been having labor pains for about 10 days prior to her Birth Day. I'm grateful for those 10 days because the contractions were great preparation for the big day! However, it was kind of frustrating since every day I questioned Is it going to be today? october 2, 2009 I went to sleep about an hour and a half earlier than normal 11:00 pm. At 1:57 a m October 3rd I woke up to an itch on the top of my left foot. This itch was right where Liver is for those of you who know acupuncture I was giving it a good scratch with my right foot I felt a little bubble burst inside me and a small gush of water. Instantly I was like oh my, and went to the bathroom where more fluid poured out from between my legs. At this point I was a little bummed because I wanted my daughter to be born in her sac, for the people from Nepal call these babies magic babies, and I found the baby in my womb to be quite magical Once this occurred I got my house mate and birth partner Simone to help me set up my bed for birth time and I called Maria. Listening to Maria's advice I tried to lie down and rest. I turned on a Hypnobirthing cd and laid down for one contraction. I already had to be moving through them for that was the only way it felt good! I got into a cozy position on all fours and looked out my window, the curtains were just barely parted and I could see the virtually Full moon shining down on me! It was full the next day. At 3 am I called my best friend in Iowa as I was having surges with her on the phone she reminded me to bring my voice low. Her of advice guided my entire experience
and helped the pain transmute from my body through my voice! I started om'ing through each surge, going lower and lower until I was gone. I then called my chiropractor and friend Christina who timed my contractions at two minutes apart. So, it was time to call Maria back. After these two phone calls, I knew both women were on their way. At this point in time my birth partner Simone had also woken back up. Perfect timing! She took care of everything I needed from this point on. She set up the cozy foam mat on the floor and after I was on the mat I was in my own world from that point on.
Things progressed in there very nicely. It was so great to hear all the encouraging words from everyone around. This was the first time for me to birth a baby and to be told that I'm doing great by a midwife who's delivered hundreds of babies gave me added confidence and endurance! After a while of on all fours in the tub it was time to move back to the mat in my room. Here I maintained the all fours position, which I had a feeling pre-birth that I would be in, with pillows and blankets supporting me when I'd rest in between pushes. Once here we were in the final stretch.
Christina is my Chiropractor friend who practices n.e .t. Which clears emotions from your being and your body as you experience them, and from past experiences if they're linked to what's going on.
I could feel my baby's head come close to emerging and then go back inside some. When I reached down to touch her head I felt a bubble. Sure enough one of her membranes did not break, she had part of her sac in tact over her head! Each surge and push was Intense! In one moment my normal self emerged as I said, This is so freaking Crazy!
Maria and Christina arrived close together and were my guiding lights through the evening, technically morning. When Christina got there I was doing a good job of clearing all emotions through each surge. As this got more difficult she held my emotional points and helped me clear emotions throughout the entire labor. At one moment I was stressed because I knew she had a very important seminar to be at 8:45 a m and I didn't want her to leave.
During this time, again, Maria's words seemed channeled in their timing and message. She told me how well I was spreading and opening right when I had a question about how things were going from another perspective. I felt I was opening very wide and very well until a moment happened when I felt a pain towards the front.
At 9 cm I was given the go to push if I felt the urge. At this point I was already having rectal pressure and felt everything! I had the urge to sit on the toilet, however once there I felt uncomfortable. Christina suggested the bath since my back muscles were feeling tense and tired. Getting into the bathtub, the warm water was a godsend!
As I felt this pain Maria suggested I do short pushes and my baby will be here. This was the only time I felt fear. I was well prepared for the short pushes as I was taught in Hypnobirthing and had practiced during pregnancy with my bowels, however the front tear pain gave me the omg I don't want to feeling. Yet, hearing that I do this and then my baby will be here was perfect motivation. With short pushes, here we go! Literally within a few minutes of two or three series of short pushes and I'm holding my baby's head and catching her body! I hear the cutest little cry and then it's quiet and I'm holding her and looking into her eyes! As I hold her my placenta virtually falls out right after! I continue looking at her observe the world around her as Amanda, the other midwife, wipes her off. She looks around like Where am I? What just happened? She's so content even though she's brand new to this world! Now the time is 7:26 a m. Perfect timing! Christina was able to be here the whole time. Five and a half hours of birth, great releases of pain, amazing vocalization, emotions flowing, people I love, no external perineal tearing, Yeah it was Divinely Perfect! I wouldn't have asked for a more wonderful amazing experience! Oh, and my magic baby had her un-ruptured membrane wiped from her face as she emerged into the world — what a great way to enter and be revealed! Welcome to earth Amafaye Violet!
At my final doctors appointment a couple days before my due date, my blood pressure had shot up and my doctor recommended an induction as she didn’t want me to develop preeclampsia. She agreed to give me a couple more days until my due date but she didn’t want to wait any longer than that.
started walking and the pain was back full force. The nurse came back again a couple hours later and checked me again since I was having so many contractions — still at 5 cm. That was a little disappointing. The nurse recommended breaking my bag of waters and putting me back on Pitocin in order to get me dilating again, which I consented.
That was on Tuesday and since I didn’t go into labor on my own, I was admitted to the hospital on Thursday night in order to begin the process of the induction. They gave me some pills throughout the night that were supposed to soften the cervix and they started the Pitocin at 6 a m on Friday morning. I started feeling mild contractions fairly soon after that and by 9 a m I woke up my husband so he could mentally support me through the pain.
She warned me that the lack of fluid in the uterus as well as the Pitocin would make the contractions much stronger, so I took some intravenous pain medication which made me a little loopy but the pain was manageable. I was now having regular, strong contractions and the nurse came back to check me a couple hours later, still 5 cm. That was not the news I had been hoping to hear. So they upped the dose of the Pitocin. At this point, the intravenous pain medications had worn off and I was scared of the pain so I asked for the epidural. They gave me the epidural and then maxed out the Pitocin. I didn’t feel a thing and was even able to take a nap.
The contractions started coming fast, one on top of another with no break. It wasn’t terribly painful; it was just a lot. When the nurse came in to check on me, they took me off the Pitocin because I was having so many contractions. My cervix was soft and I had dilated a couple centimeters already. Towards late morning and early afternoon, the contractions had started getting hard. I wasn’t on any pain medication and each new contraction radiated down my legs and had me squatting on the floor. I was trying to work with my body but I was also desperately seeking relief from the pain. The nurse came in and checked me and I was now 5 centimeters dilated which was a great feeling. I got into the Jacuzzi tub in my room and that was wonderful. The contractions were much more manageable in there.
Danielle & Amar’e
However I guess my body relaxed a little too much because the contractions slowed to a near stop. I got out and
It was nearing evening time and nothing was happening. A few more hours went by and I was checked again. 5 centimeters. I was really disappointed. The nurse told me that when the Pitocin was maxed out, giving me the type of strong contractions that would bring the baby out, the baby’s heartbeat would go up into a range that indicated distress. So they lowered the Pitocin dosage and slowly brought it back up again. However, when the contractions got strong, the baby’s heartbeat would signal distress every time. By now it was late into night and they checked me one last time. Still 5 centimeters. At that point, the nurses sat down with Phil and I to recommend a c-section. They said that the baby was still doing ok inside of me but it didn’t appear that he was going
11
birth story
Danielle & Amar’e
My husband Phil and I started trying to get pregnant as soon as we got married. We were both in our 30s, had been together for a few years and wanted more children to add to our family. My husband has a son, who was ten at the time. I asked my husband how long he thought it would take for us to get pregnant and he said three months. The thought of being pregnant was a little bit scary for me but we prayed on it and I felt I was ready so we started trying.
One day after we had been trying for almost a year, my husband lovingly suggested that I go to the doctor just to check that everything was ok. I agreed with him but I had just begun to suspect that I might be pregnant. I didn’t want to tell him yet in case it was a false alarm but I didn’t make a doctors appointment. Another week passed and my cycle still hadn’t started. I was, by now, a couple weeks late and I decided to tell my husband.
Every month after that when I got my period, I was a little disappointed and a little relieved at the same time. Three months passed then five, then six. The more time that passed, I started feeling less relieved becoming more disappointed and worried with each passing month. By now, I was starting to do research on how long it typically takes for a couple to get pregnant and when I read that 80% of couples conceive within 6 months, I started to wonder was something was wrong with me.
When I told him that my period was late, he just looked at me, said oh and walked out of the room. A full 24 hours later, he came back to me and said, Your period is delayed? What does that mean? When I told him that it might mean I’m pregnant, he suggested we take a home pregnancy test. I was slightly apprehensive about it because I wanted it to say y es so badly that I was very afraid that if it didn’t I would be disappointed, again.
My husband and I had been praying diligently for God to send us a baby and it was around this time that we started confidently thanking God for sending us a child in His perfect timing. Months continued to pass and my stepson started asking if we could have a baby. I told him that we wanted a baby and it was in God’s hands so he needed to pray to God about it. Although more months passed and I still wasn’t pregnant, God kept peace in my heart and I didn’t worry. He was constantly communicating with me that it would happen and that I just needed to enjoy the time I had with my husband and stepson before the baby arrived. So I kept thanking God for the baby that He would send us and thanking Him that His timing is always right.
A couple days later though, I worked up my courage and told my husband I was about to do it and went to take the test. When that second line showed up to indicate it was positive, I couldn’t believe it. I even went online just to check if there was such a thing as a false positive on a pregnancy test. When the internet assured me that you only get a positive result when you are actually pregnant, I was thrilled, though this isn’t always the case. I came out of the bathroom, told my husband, we told our son, and we were all elated! I had a beautiful pregnancy. Very little nausea and very few of the typical problems associated with pregnancy. It was such an exciting time and I enjoyed watching my body change and stretch and grow. Of course, by the third trimester, I felt huge and uncomfortable and began looking forward to the birth.
Although more months passed and I still wasn’t pregnant, God kept a peace in my heart and I didn't worry.
At that point, the nurses sat down with Phil and I to recommend a c-section. They said that the baby was still doing ok inside of me but it didn’t appear that he was going to come out and if we didn’t have it now, it might turn into an emergency situation. I was crushed. I had not even considered the possibility. I felt devastated.
At my final doctors appointment a couple days before my due date, my blood pressure had shot up and my doctor recommended an induction as she did not want me to develop a condition called preeclampsia. She agreed to give me a couple days until my due date but she didn’t want to wait any longer than that. That was on Tuesday and since I didn’t go into labor on my own, I was admitted to the hospital on Thursday night in order to begin the process of the induction. They gave me some pills throughout the night that were supposed to soften the cervix and they started Pitocin at 6 a m on Friday morning. I started feeling mild contractions fairly soon after that and by 9 a m I woke up my husband so he could mentally support me through all of the pain in my back. The contractions started coming fast, one on top of the other with no break. It wasn’t terribly painful; it was just a lot. When the nurse came in to check on me, they took me off the Pitocin because I was having so many contractions. My cervix was soft and I had dilated a couple centimeters already. Towards late morning and early afternoon, the contractions had started getting hard. I wasn’t on any pain medication and each new contraction radiated down my legs and had me squatting. I was trying to work with my body but I was also desperately seeking relief from the pain. The nurse came in and checked me and I was now 5 centimeters dilated which was a great feeling. I got into the Jacuzzi tub in my room and that was wonderful. The contractions were much more manageable in there. However I guess my body relaxed a little too much because the contractions slowed to a near stop. I got out and started walking and the pain was back full force. The nurse came back again a couple hours later and checked me again since I was having so many contractions — still at 5 cm. That was a
little disappointing. The nurse recommended breaking my bag of waters and putting me back on Pitocin in order to get me dilating again, which I consented. She warned me that the lack of fluid in the uterus as well as the Pitocin would make the contractions much stronger, so I took some intravenous pain medication which made me a little loopy but the pain was manageable. I was now having regular, strong contractions and the nurse came back to check me a couple hours later, still 5 cm. That was not the news I had been hoping to hear. So they upped the dose of the Pitocin. At this point, the intravenous pain medications had worn off and I was scared of the pain so I asked for the epidural. They gave me the epidural and then maxed out the Pitocin. I didn’t feel a thing and was even able to take a nap. It was nearing evening time and nothing was happening. A few more hours went by and I was checked again. 5 centimeters. I was really disappointed. The nurse told me that when the Pitocin was maxed out, giving me the type of strong contractions that would bring the baby out, the baby’s heartbeat would go up into a range that indicated distress. So they lowered the Pitocin dosage and slowly brought it back up again. However, when the contractions got strong, the baby’s heartbeat would signal distress every time. By now it was late into night and they checked me one last time. Still 5 centimeters. At that point, the nurses sat down with Phil and I to recommend a c-section. They said that the baby was still doing ok inside of me but it didn’t appear that he was going to come out and if we didn’t have it now, it might turn into an emergency situation. I was crushed. I hadn’t even considered the possibility of a one. I felt devastated. However, after crying a few tears and talking to my parents, my husband we made the decision to undergo the c-section.
I was quickly wheeled into the or , given a new type of epidural and strapped down. My husband was brought in and the baby was out in about 5 minutes. At 12:29 a m on Saturday morning my baby was born. They sewed me up while my husband accompanied the baby to be checked. The baby was a strong and healthy boy. I waited in a recovery area for them to finish checking the baby so the nurse could help me begin breast-feeding as soon as possible. I was under heavy pain medications and exhausted but when they brought out my baby boy and he latched onto my breast like a little pro, I knew there was no better feeling. My baby is now three months old and he has been such a blessing to our family. He brings joy to not only us but has also brought our extended family together and brought our friends to church. We are so blessed with this child and excited to find out God’s timing for our next bundle of joy.
When they brought out my baby boy and he latched onto my breast like a little pro, I knew there was no better feeling.
12
birth story
Trina & Jack
He was due on March 1st, so you can imagine our surprise when I started having contractions at 5:30 a m on February 12th for the birth of our first child. The contractions came and went, and continued all morning. Mikelann assured us to rest, eat and call her if they became closer together and more intense. I relaxed, however I told my husband, Neal, that unfortunately Bridger Bowl would not be in his plans that Saturday. When we went out for a malt and I had 3 contractions sitting right there on the stool, I knew things were starting to happen. We went home and tried for a walk. I did not make it far before I was literally hanging off Neal. Then I got into the bath tub and contractions became closer and more intense. Mikelann told us to meet her at the Birth center at 9:00 pm. My sister, Krista came over to cook meatballs and help in any way she could. I stayed upstairs and tried to relax between contractions. When we headed to the birth center, every bump we drove over made my belly uncomfortable. I remember thinking on the way there that when we returned home, we would have a beautiful little baby with us. We live only less that 5 minutes from the Birth-Center, but Neal was so excited that he had to ask me which way to turn on to 7th Ave. We got there safely, however when Mikelann checked my cervix and observed me go through a contraction, she told me I was working way too hard and that I needed to relax and that we had a long way to go. I got into the birthing tub and stayed there for about 6 hours. I fell into an altered state of consciousness. I was very relaxed and peaceful between contractions. We had the Hypnobirthing cd playing and the lights were low. I did not have my glasses on, so everything was blurry. I did not know what nurse actually looked like until after the birth.
When they finally convinced me to leave the warmth of the tub, we did birthing gymnastics. I was standing holding the bar, sitting on the ball, squatting, on all fours, you name it! When labor did not progress, we had to concede that a trip to the hospital would be the right choice if labor continued to stall. I did not want this, and I think that is what gave me the boost I needed to get this baby out!
I did not plan for them to be there, but they had been there all night and it was just natural for them to witness this most amazing experience. When my baby was out, I looked down and was surprised at his purple color and cone head! They put him right on my chest and I could not believe how much his little eyes looked like mine. We took a minute or two before we remembered to look and see if it was a boy or girl. My husband looked and before he could say it, I knew it was a boy. As Sherry was explaining to me how to breastfeed, I remember thinking, Why is she telling me this? I already know how to do this Even though this was my first child, it was truly instinctual for both of us .and he nursed and latched on beautifully on the very first try.
I shifted to my back propped upright and everything started moving. I remember looking out the small window at some fluffy white clouds thinking I will have this baby here, today. Something about seeing daylight motivated me and assured me that everything would be alright.
Neal, Jack and I are the happiest little family I know. We laugh, kiss and hug dozens of times a day. We are so thankful for the support we had to have a natural, beautiful childbirth. We could not feel more blessed by a little miracle that fills us with joy every day.
I was comfortable in my little world and I did not want to get out of the tub. Neal was right by my side and he offered support. It had been several hours and things were not progressing very quickly. I remember repeating mantras, but one new one that night was I’m doing the best I can.
I was in labor for 16 hours and finally it was time to push. I cannot describe this sensation accurately in words. Mikelann was an incredible coach. She helped me feel when to push with each contraction, when to breath, when to hold. Neal was right there with me, his face was close to mine assuring me I was doing great. At one point Mikelann said during my hour and a half of pushing that I could either take it nice and slow for another 30 minutes, or she would have to stitch me up for 30 minutes. I took her advice and went with the flow. At no point was I scared, in extreme discomfort, or disbelief. I was fairly calm, but very vocal during the pushing! My sister and brother-in-law Krista and Joe Barnett came into the room just as Jack was ready to come out.
Becky & Ruth, Sammy, & Ezra
13
birth story
Becky & Ruth
My birth stories are complete. It has been a mere two months since my very last birth, and, yet, I am having a hard time stepping back. There is a very big, healthy, perfect baby sitting next to me. His name is Ezra. He is breathing softly and staring right back at me. He does not have a single need in the world. I love him, as I love his brother and I love his sister, more than I have ever loved anyone before. My first pregnancy was delightful. And, birth itself was filed in the unknown category of my mind. Yes, I was as open-minded as any person could be, any person that had poured countless hours over books, articles, and testimonies of birth for a lifetime. My mother was a midwife, and as I saw this, it was finally my turn to personally experience what happens when a child is born. I was a bit anxious, but ready, and my newlywed husband, he was ready, too. We had a solid due date, we had a solid plan, then prepped every supply we could have needed. We knew about how long the birth should take to be delivered and everything was going to be just fine. Everything was fine. I was due November 6th, but it came and went. My midwife and I were patiently waiting. Before we knew it two weeks had passed, then three weeks. We decided to reevaluate my due date. There could have been a 10 day miscalculation. The baby measured great, sounded great, so — we waited. My mother was born a month over due, and my husband’s mother carried him a month over due. I prepared myself to carry for a while longer. On December 4th contractions came! Finally! They were 20 minutes apart and very mild. An entire day went by as they inched closer together. I felt every one. I was excited, nervous, and didn’t sleep well. I thought I could have a baby soon!
At the end of an entire day of labor I was 3 cm dilated. Another day came and went and I was 6 cm dilated. Another day came and went. I was 9 cm dilated!!! Thank God my water broke clear at 3 pm on December 6th. Through the duration, our baby was healthy and fine, but I was tired and becoming exhausted after three days and nights of laboring. I had an anterior rim for the entire night, and then we decided to try to push it back, or to push through gently while changing positions and resting, whew! When the morning of December 7th had arrived the decision was made to transfer from home to hospital. My midwife called ahead, and we drove the 10 blocks. I couldn’t seem to push our precious baby into the world. I arrived at the hospital at 7 am and shortly thereafter dilated completely. I was really ornery pulling through as I waited for the doctor. I remember moving the mattress off of the triage bed and putting it on the floor and back onto the bed and then back onto the floor again. The nurses did not know what to do with me! I was only doing what I had to do to get through the waiting. It took hours for the doctor to arrive. By this time, I had not eaten food or drank water for a very long time. My body was exhausted, and I slept for a while. My contractions stopped coming. The on-call doctor truly was a blessing for us. He was an older, family practice doctor and accustomed to birth. I remember he asked, How are you doing? I replied, I don’t want to have a cesarean. Okay, well, let’s get to work then, was his response for me, as he rolled up his sleeves.
Suddenly, our delivery room bed transformed into this incredible birthing-contraption. It was hard to believe and nothing that I had expected. The Pitocin drip was amped up and the literal pushing count down began. 10 – 9 – 8 – 7 breathe, breathe, 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1. An average amount of family and staff hollering and encouragement took place. Again, 10 – 9 – 8 – 7…and, despite our best efforts, our baby would not move past a +2 station. The doctor recognized that a Tucker-McLane forceps assisted delivery was what I needed. My sweet daughter, Ruth, was born at 10:26 a m . She was a sight to behold and a large 9 lb girl. I knew her name when I saw her. She was very smart and strong. While the forceps delivery was a success, my tissue damage was extensive. I had the routine episiotomy and routine vaginal lacerations that came along with the forceps. Suturing seemed to go on and on. Ruth had suffered the common clavicle fracture which healed quickly. When I think about it now, my asking for a vaginal birth and receiving just that was a favor preformed to me. There was much tissue repair work for the doctor and initial concern for Ruth. I think that for those reasons skilled forceps delivery had become much less common than it used to be. Years later, when Ruth saw a picture of me with vessel-burst eyes snuggling her after our delivery, I told her how hard I had to push when she came into the world. She shared that she didn’t want me to push her out of her home; she wanted to stay where she was at. I laughed and couldn’t believe how appropriate the remark was.
14
birth story
Becky & Sammy
One year later, we were very happy to conceive, again! We delighted in our pregnancy for a few months without speaking once about where this little baby may be born; At the hospital? I didn’t want that, at home? My husband didn’t want that. Incredibly, within the duration of our first trimester, the clouds parted and the sun beamed down upon this little birthing hamlet in our very own community. It was a brand-new birth center, the first of its kind in our state. It was a free-standing, nurse-midwifery-run, independently-owned facility. I was in Heaven. We were thrilled and our minds were set at ease when we met the nurse-midwives and toured their two beautiful and professionally equipped birth rooms. The next few months went by filled to the brim with mirth as we became bigger in pregnancy and more confident in our nurse-midwives and ourselves. We looked forward to our birth and felt great peace about the care we received. As our due date came near, we discussed options for delivering sooner rather than an entire month later. I was a bit nervous about carrying our baby for so long. Ruth was a healthy baby girl, but I believe I carried her in pregnancy longer than I should have. I was on my knees thanking the Lord that she was safely in our arms after her birth. I had many options. We settled on a very low dose of oral Misopristol, also known as Cytotec. Beginning at 38 weeks, I took 15 – 25 micrograms each morning. My cervix immediately began to soften. Our baby was due on July 26th, and we were certain of that this time around. When July 26th arrived, so did my contractions and it was glorious! But, I immediately noticed that they were coming in the same pattern as they had before, soooo very slowly.
The 27th arrived and the moment I stood up out of bed my uterus was gently at work. I had a few contractions each hour. We had a very normal and pleasant day. At 9 pm my water broke with a splash across the kitchen floor hilariously, my husband asked me what I had spilled! However, I knew that it was going to take much more time. I resolved to go to bed and sleep, and that is exactly what I did then. Now, when the 28th came around, I moseyed down to the birth-center to meet the nurse-midwives. They were ready to go, as you can imagine, but I didn’t have a trace of sweat or a single grimace upon my face. They were in shock, but I wasn’t. I was at 2 cm dilated, and this became the beginning of me assuring them that everything was going to be fine. At noon, I was 3 cm. At 6 pm, I was 4 cm. So, we were getting there, at my normal 3 cm a day progress. So again, I went home, had a very peaceful night of rest. The 29th had arrived. At 9 a m I was dilated to 5 cm, and my water had been ruptured for 36 hours. I know because my nurse-midwives were really keeping track. By 4 pm I was 6 cm dilated and the pressure was on, as far as my nurse-midwives were concerned. They began to prepare for a possible transfer to their supporting physician, a perinatologist. I felt as though this physician was a little too specialized in poor outcomes. He was all too ready to just c-section me, when I felt absolutely fine, and I knew that this was my normal. We had to become very proactive taking blue cohosh tinctures and walking it out. I received intravenous ampicillin at 6 pm to help the care providers to relax about infection, and it was around this time, also, that I finally stepped into, active labor at 8 cm dilation.
By 8:50 pm it was time to push. We had made it! It was more work to open up to 10 cm then it was to deliver. Samuel was born at 9 pm exactly. He weighed 7 lbs exactly. He was so perfectly peaceful. Whew. Needless to say, we had spent a lot of time coming and going from the birth center in the last few days that we decided to go home two hours later. Oh, being at home was the best feeling in the world! We had a healthy baby and a wonderful time nursing and recovering. It was exactly what we wanted, and so much better than our first experience. We were all very much in love with the new baby.
Wow. We were amazed. It was time to grow, again, and honestly, we were somewhat nervous about another birth experience.
15
birth story
Becky & Ezra
Ezra was a surprise! He joined our family five years after his brother Samuel. These five years had been packed with nursing, potty training, colds, Kindergarten, two relocations, and work as a birth assistant at the birth center I thoroughly enjoyed delivering Samuel at. We had moved to the neighboring state, and we had just decided to settle down there with our two children and no more. I had enrolled into another program at college as Ruth was enrolling into Kindergarten. And, during all of that excitement, we conceived Ezra! Wow. We were amazed. It was time to grow, again, and honestly, we were somewhat nervous about another birth experience. We both were put to the test. We had to prepare ourselves for another baby. Financially, we were fine. Of course, the kids were thrilled. What was difficult was turning back from Life-with-big-kids to Life-with-a-baby. We, also, lived in a state where there was one home-birth midwife 200 miles away and nurse-midwives were not able to deliver outside of hospitals. We were in a bind. I didn’t feel comfortable delivering at home because of the availability of a birth attendant and because of my last two experiences. I didn’t feel comfortable delivering in a hospital because it took me so long to dilate. As it were, we took our time contacting a provider and thoroughly explored our options. There was nowhere to stay in our prior hometown, and so delivering at the birth center there was no longer an option. At this point, I felt like unique laborer; it was the first thing that had to be shared. My dad had a seldom-used, vacation apartment in another city where a birth-center was located. So, we chose there. The midwives knew my mother in their younger years, and I had met them numerous times while working. They were excited to have us and our minds were made up.
We would be travelling 500 miles away, across statelines to have our baby. It became a pleasant weekend routine, starting with once a month, until we finally moved into grandpa’s nice, little apartment for the birth month. We began to receive our prenatal care with a nursemidwife. First and foremost, we had to peg down a delivery date. We knew when we were supposed to deliver, but my body seemed to carry babies differently. We decided to keep two small charts. One the average mother could use, with a normal 28 day cycle — My expected date of delivery was June 20th. The other chart, I could use, with a 36 day cycle — my expected date of delivery was July 3rd. We had many visitors, something that I thought that I had wanted. But, we were hugely pregnant and could not find time alone. June 20th went by, we knew it would. There were some pings and pangs. But, when July 3rd came and went, I started to cry a bit. I needed space. All of our visitors were finally gone by July 5th. July 6th is when my contractions came. Thus began what was pretty normal for us, mild contractions with a gush of water in the evening. We all went to bed and slept well. Again, we healthily anticipated contractions on the morning of the 7th, but there were none. The fact that there were none was significant, because the broken-water stopwatch had begun steadily multiplying and We spent the entire day gently encouraging contractions with evening primrose oil, castor oil, nipple stimulation, cohosh tincture, cuddling, spicy food, and walking and resting. Absolutely nothing happening at all until 12 a m — when contractions came full-force! I labored through the night while my sweet family slept.
I was so happy to be in strong labor! But, laboring was different this time. My contractions moved up and down my back and came every 8 to 11 minutes. We went into the birth center at 6:30 a m on the morning of the 8th. I was 8 cm dilated! How nice! The nurse-midwives were ready. We were ready, or maybe not. I felt as though I needed more time to do my own thing, but the nursemidwives wanted me to stay there, of course. How many mothers want to do something else when their babies are about to crown? So, we stayed there and labored and labored. It was all coming along at a snail’s pace, just like normal, and I felt like a watched pot. I took more castor oil, homeopathies, tinctures, cytotec, we did position changes in and out of the water until Finally at 4 pm, I was complete! Our baby had strong and healthy heart tones. It was time to try pushing, but not a single prompt came from my body. We tried pushing in many different positions, as this baby was staying put at a very comfortable -1/0 station and seemed very positional. It seemed as though we just couldn’t find the right position to facilitate birth. 8 pm came around; I was exhausted. My water had been broken for 46 hours. I received intravenous glucose and penicillin which brightened me right back up. However, we were very suddenly presenting at 6 cm dilation. I couldn’t believe it! And to add to my disbelief, my contractions had stopped. Could we go home and sleep? no. We did go home, and I prayed. I took an hour to be still and to think about my precious, faithful baby. He was counting on me. I reflect upon all of my hard work. And, as I looked into the mirror, I laid all of my jewelry on the counter. Our baby would be here soon, however that may be.
We had come to the end of our three-day journey together, and I was given perfect peace, as I lay my hands on my belly. Our records had been faxed, and when we returned to the birth center, we all knew it was time to go. We faced our next challenge — transfer to the hospital. My nurse-midwife had worked very hard to maintain hospital privileges. She had purchased all of the same i v equipment to aid unencumbered transfers for her mothers, and she was with me every moment. We were immediately escorted to our delivery room and had arrived just as a new day began. A family practice doctor had been called in. I was 8 cm dilated, and our baby was doing fine at a –2 station. Because my contractions were 8 to 10 minutes apart, it had been suggested that I try Pitocin augmentation. My husband and I agreed. We had to give a natural birth one last try! And, so for 3 ½ hours my husband and nurse-midwife, nursing staff and doctor helped me through those horribly intense contractions, until the moment arrived that I could no longer handle the excruciating, counter intuitive pain every two minutes or risk endangering my baby or myself any longer. I tried everything that I possibly could have. I was dilated to 8 cm. Our baby had not moved down an inch, I could feel big shoulders kick-standing across my pelvic brim whatever position I was in. I knew that I needed an epidural. I asked for an epidural. And, when my spine had been prepped and pricked by my anesthetist, I let go and cried. It was what I had expected. The epidural had stripped every human presence away from the lower half of my body. I could no longer feel my baby.
The feeling of the epidural was overwhelmingly lonely, sad, and powerless. I had another big decision to make. I knew that I needed a c-section. I asked for a c-section. My doctors prepared me, coached me, moved me, assured me, and very lovingly did their jobs well. My nursemidwife was by my side, while my husband waited to receive our baby. I cried when my body was shaking from the cold, and as I was jostled back and forth.
The feeling of the epidural was overwhelmingly lonely, sad, and powerless.
But, when I heard my baby cry for the first time, my heart leapt to him. I wanted to pull him to my chest, and I was a mother grizzly, again. I wanted to see him, and to have him tell me he was fine. I waited to have my first glimpse, and when I saw that he was a big, 10 lb boy that could handle anything administered his way, I was living in glory. Ezra was born at 4:52 a m on July 9th. We all recovered well. It took a while to explain to Ruthie and Sammie why mom needed to be in the hospital for a few days. We were so happy to have Ezra in our arms. His presence overshadowed my pondering and negative feelings about my circumstances. Nothing could be undone, nor did I want it to be. I was done with all of my deliveries. They were complete.
Nothing could be undone, nor did I want it to be. I was done with my deliveries.