DO YOU HAVE A BACK TO SCHOOL RITUAL?

Thousands of Hobart parents are settling their kids into school for the very first time this month. It’s one of life’s biggest transitions, and Hobart mother and writer Sally Lewry has put together a book to help others prepare their kids - and themselves - for a smooth sailing through it and other big changes.

As a widow and sole parent, Sally, who goes by the name Bard Lewry in her professional life, has navigated times of transition in many ways as she raises her young children. She has found that creating rituals has helped immensely.

Your kids are now in grade 1 and grade 3, but how was your very first 'first day of school' as a mum? It was an emotional day. I was so proud of my son and excited for him, but it was also a huge letting go which required trust; mainly of the school and education system, but both my sons started school with such confidence, which certainly made it easier for me! I do feel we underestimate what a huge rite of passage it is for young people and their families and the way in which the experience is framed and met is crucial.

What are some things that have made that transition easier for your children?

Creating a ritual for my boys to support them in this rite of passage was a great support. I wanted to create an embodied experience that would offer a perspective on learning that acknowledged and celebrated the innate wisdom that lies within us all, outside of institutionalised ideas of knowledge, education and self.

While school is important it is just one branch of knowledge on our ever-evolving tree of wisdom, which is already laden with other branches; this is the metaphor that feeds into the heart of the ritual I created. This perspective really helped to take the pressure off and was a great tool which enabled myself and my boys to reflect on their personal qualities, strengths and idiosyncrasies, to see how much wisdom they already held as they entered formal education.

What do you do to support yourself through the back-to-school transition?

Connecting with the more-than-human world is a fundamental value in our family. This connection continues to offer all of us grounding, companionship and perspective which is incredibly supportive. Community is also key, we have finally found our village here in Hobart and we couldn’t be happier!

Why did ritual become so integral to your parenting journey? I am a widow and have been a sole parent for almost my whole parenting journey, which has been an incredibly tough, yet expansive initiation! Ritual has been fundamental in navigating death and grief, and in continuing to celebrate and honour my life with my beautiful boys. My relationship to ritual was born out of a very profound and powerful place and it was from here that I began to offer and share what I know in various contexts including end of life. Finding new ways to weave ritual into my everyday life with my boys however, is often where I find the most inspiration, growth and creativity!

Why do you think we've lost touch with rituals over time? This is a big question that certainly warrants a whole conversation! But I would say that in part we have lost touch with ritual overtime because we have become so focused on the external and in losing touch with our internal life and landscape, ritual has fallen away. We are in a time of great chaos, growth and change and I am seeing a re-membering and a re-turning to ritual, as people are in need of something bigger to meet and support this change collectively, which is the very function of ritual.

For someone who feels completely disconnected from these kinds of things... how would you suggest they start? My suggestion is not to think too much about it! I believe ritual and ceremony are an innate part of being human and we merely have to reconnect with this part of ourselves. What did you love doing as a child? Start there. Our inner children hold great wisdom and children experience the world largely through play and improvisation, which are key in creating ritual and ceremony. Watch your children, listen and learn from them and create with them.

Where else can we use rituals in our day to day lives? Beginning and ending each day is actually a huge transition and threshold that we continually cross. How do you begin and end each day? This is a beautiful place to begin to weave more intentional ritual into your everyday lived experience. There are so many other contexts both big and small where ritual can serve us; adolescence, motherhood, menstruation and menopause, divorce, social justice, to name a few!

You can find Sally’s work, including her book, at www.bardlewry.com/ tree-of-wisdom