Psychology

PSYCHOLOGY Have you forgotten how to have fun?

Words: Annia Baron

How long has it been since you had a seriously good time? The sort that left your cheeks flushed and your heart full?

You probably had to think about that for a moment. Sadly, we’ve been led to believe that play, pleasure and fun is something we do after all the work done - as though it’s a reward we earn. Worse, we’re enslaved by an idea that play and fun aren’t part of successful, responsible adulting. I’m sorry, but who on Earth made this the norm? And why are we still hanging on to this maladaptive belief?

Science confirms that play, pleasure, and fun – whether using our bodies, our imagination, movement, objects, on our own or with others – is integral for our emotional wellbeing. Dr Stuart Brown (founder of the National Institute of Play) reminds us that adults are designed to engage in life-long play. He even proposes that depression, anxiety, and irritability are all symptoms of a lack of play. When we experience pleasure, brain cells in the ventral tegmental area activate. These are the same areas of the brain that ‘come alive’ when we engage in sex, exercise, and altruistic behaviours – all important for humans to survive and thrive.

So what’s happened? Why do so many of us avoid prioritising pleasure, fun or play as part of our day? And if we do, why do so many of us feel guilty about it? Perhaps it’s the way our parents vocalised their opinions on work ethic. Perhaps it’s the 12 or so years we spend in traditional schooling structures that ingrain a subconscious fear of being judged negatively if we’re not keeping up with our peers. Perhaps it’s the constant pressure we feel to grind away, compare our successes, and hope that our lives are as glamorised as those shown in the media.

It’s no wonder we’re overwhelmed and overworked. For years, we’ve been primed to de-prioritise play, pleasure, and fun. But it’s not about ditching our responsibilities and opting for total hedonism at every opportunity, it’s about loosening up old, worn-out beliefs that fun-seeking is immature or less important, and redirecting some of our precious energy to things and experiences that truly enliven us, fulfill us, and expand our sense of interconnectedness. Because when we do the things that make us feel joyful and unencumbered, we’re likely to be more patient, generous, and productive.

When we feel good, we’re more likely to give ourselves permission to dream, set meaningful goals, and put energy into what makes us our most vibrant, loving, and successful selves. Whilst you may have absorbed some unhealthy views about play,

Life’s haaard

pleasure, and fun in the past, it’s up to you to change the power they have over you. Practice more adaptive self-talk. Prune away unnecessary guilt. Give yourself permission to experience play, pleasure, and fun, on purpose, more often. After all that we’ve been through this year, we deserve nothing less.

A playful, scientific tool for empowering yourself over unhelpful thoughts:

1. Identify the thoughts you tend to hear yourself say, e.g., “I’m not good enough. I always leave things to the last minute. I’m such a loser.”

2. Bring to your mind the voice or accent of a recognisable character, cartoon or person e.g., Donald Duck, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Trump.

3. Have your ‘character’ say your unhelpful thoughts back to you, e.g., if it’s Trump, imagine him standing at a press conference, with his fake hair and squinting eyes.

4. By changing the context of the words, you assign a new emotion to the experience. It gives our mind a ‘break’ from the normal, automatic pattern, and helps create a new, more playful one.

Annia Baron is a Clinical Psychologist and Mindset Coach at Remind Yourself in Hobart. @anniabaron www.remindyourself.com