St Louis Sinner issue 6

Issue 6 July 2009

Pride Photo Gallery Warehousing America’s Poor and Minorities The SAw Is Family

UNMASKED!

The Sinful Art of

Hunter Photography

Fear & Publishing Freedom & Farce Freedom is a mother-fucker! But I’m not talking about this cookie-cutter, Red-White-&-Blue, Two Party, Mickey Mouse Freedom that we each celebrate every year on the fourth with flags, rockets and tears. I’m talking about true Freedom, the one unscathed from religious and corporate influence that our forefathers and their children since have died for in countries like Germany, Japan, Korea, Central America, Vietnam, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan... mother-fucking, etc. We accept Freedom isn’t free, and we now know it isn’t cheap, either. The price tag for it is in the trillions of dollars, and growing each year.

Before we fire rockets and shed tears we should all question what Freedom is, this idea we each hold so sacred and determined to selectively spread around the globe. Our all-knowing internet spits out Wikipedia’s definition first, perhaps the most controversial source for facts in the civilized world, which says this “term” has several interpretations. One is the philosopher’s approach, which defines “Freedom” as the idea of being free. A second reference, its “Political” definition, defines the heart of our democracy as an absence of interference with the sovereignty of an individual by the use of coercion or aggression. Wikipedia also defines freedom under “Liberty”, as the condition in which an individual has the ability to act according to his or her own will. Combined, all these references to Freedom

by Wikipedia sit well with our MAC’s definition.

But when the last firework goes BOOM! and the last tear drop hits the ground, what does Freedom really mean?

My collective from the above is that we are all free, regardless of race, gender or sexual preference, living in a society free from coercion or aggression, where we all share the ability to act according to our own will. That sounds like Freedom. But is that the Freedom we have in this country today? Some say, yes, but this month I find myself compelled to ask if we are Free or never to be?

I will not argue that I wave this Red-White-&Blue flag of Freedom higher than most, publishing controversial thought and half-naked gals draped in the American flag – and even once a Nazi flag – with little-to-no coercion or aggression from our federal government. Then again, we should all agree that it’s easy to celebrate the Freedoms we are given and overlook the ones we are denied

but deserve. With that in mind, know that before you buy that stock of illegal fireworks and head down to the Arch, that America is listed as the 6th freest country when it comes to economic trade, according to the Heritage Foundation, but sits at 24th when it comes to free press by www.freedomhouse.org, and according to www. worldaudit.org, we sit at 11th for free press but 15th for democracy. No poll, conservative nor liberal puts the US at the top of Freedom charts in the free world, but we’re the first to spread it.

Our founding Fathers gave each state sovereignty, its own independence and Freedom to determine its affairs and make law, but the federal government overrides those freedoms whenever it so chooses, such is the case with medical marijuana. Right now 13 states have legalized medical marijuana but federal raids still put people like Ed Rosenthal in prison for growing the medicinal plant. Even though the judge in Rosenthal’s case only sentenced him to one day in prison and a $1300 fine due to extraordinary, unique circumstances, the federal prosecutor asked for six years. Is that Freedom or sovereignty? Most people don’t think so.

The thing about true Freedom is that it has a split personality, that ugly side that few like and less tolerate. True Freedom demands tolerance, and that’s what makes it a mother-fucker for most people. Whether it’s interracial or gay marriage, marijuana legalization, abortion, prostitution, or nitwits like me using words like mother-fucker to make a point, the tolerance of Freedom varies from one individual to another, each defining it in their own terms. Like I said, true Freedom is, well, you know...

Theft is also a mother-fucker, an issue that I have not developed a tolerance for. Moving from Washington State I have stayed with WAMU since moving here, and dealt with the annoyance of mailing all The Sinner deposits to the closest office in IL. I always held a deep respect for postal workers, and considered each office to be somewhat sacred. Then some rotten bastard steals your deposit and cashes the checks – now that’s a mother-fucker! Even more so for an independent publisher, who lives month to month. That’s the reason we’re running a few days late to print and why I can’t think of a damn thing to say, with or with out Wild Turkey.

And that, my dear reader, is just one fucked month and column in two cities... until next month.

Theft & Tolerance

News, Rants & Politics

2. Fear and Publishing 4. Weapons of Mass Distraction 5. Piper’s Pit 6. Thoughts on Independence Day 7. Warehousing America’s Poor and Minorities

Music, Film, Art & Entertainment

11. The Saw Is Family Unmasked 12. The Saw Is Family poster 14. Out and About in June 15. Paper Dolls 16. Haunted Hotties 18. The Sinful Photography of Rob Hunter 19. Pride Photo Gallery 20. Art Potion 21. Escape From St Louis Suburbia

Religion, Sex, & Other Sinner Shit

8. What Dreams May Come 10. Hide the Kids. I’m Goin’ A’Ranting 17. Paganfest 22. Just Ask Malice 23. This I Shamelessly Tell You 23. Dr. Dick Sex Advice Publisher: Chuck Foster Layout: Terri Daniels and Danielle Correll Sales: Chuck Foster Cover Art : Rob Hunter Writers, Ranters, Opinionists & Other All-Out Freaks: Matthew Gorman Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid Saab Lofton Henry Nicolle Mark Taylor-Canfield Jeff Diggs Danielle Correll Matt Pachmyer Kimberly Peters Dr. Dick Matt Presti Jane Linders

The Sinner is a group of contributing writers. A forum of opinions, rants and ideas which do not necesssarily reflect the views of The Sinner itself. The Sinner encourages contributions from its readers but retains the right to edit material due to content or length of submission.

2

For advertising or submission information, contact us at chuck@theseattlesinner.com.

myspace.com/stlouissinner

Dangerous Politics IT’S A STRANGE WORLD when the Director of the Central Intelligence Agency attacks a past US Vice-President and accuses him of welcoming a terrorist attack on the United States of America. Last month President Barack Obama’s appointed CIA Director, Leon Panetta, told the New Yorker that former VP Dick Cheney’s criticism of the Obama administration verges on irrational psychosis. Panetta was referring to Cheney’s condemnation of Obama’s partial dismantling of the Bush administration’s “War on Terror” regime.

Panetta told the magazine, “When you read behind it, it’s almost as if he’s wishing that this country would be attacked again, in order to make his point. I think that’s dangerous politics.”

So what does this public fight between Panetta and Cheney really represent? Is it an actual adversarial relationship or just a cover for something else even more nefarious? Another weapon of mass distraction, perhaps? We all know that the CIA has plenty to hide when it comes to “extraordinary rendition” (secret kidnappings), assassination plots and torture, etc. Can Panetta really distance himself from such a sordid history of deception, illegal activities and malicious conduct? Can he really appear as if he is taking the high ground? Many of the pundits and politicians on the right came out to criticize Panetta, inferring that his comments were inappropriate and ill-advised. Senator John McCain and others accused Panetta of making a political blunder, even though he is widely acknowledged as a longtime insider in the Washington scene with many years of experience speaking in public and to the national media.

Dick Cheney has appeared in the public arena repeatedly over the last few months, speaking out in the media with a concerted campaign to undermine any of the Obama administration’s attempts to reform the torture techniques and mass violations of habeas corpus applied by the government against suspected terrorists at Guantanamo Bay, Abu Graib and other facilities, including secret CIA detention camps. It is very chilling and quite disgusting. Cheney’s basic stance is pro-torture (he calls it ‘enhanced interrogation techniques’), and he supports the practices carried out at Guantanamo Bay where prisoners are denied access to legal counsel and held without trial.

The Dark Lord Vader, who once presided over secret meetings and covert operations while Vice President of the US, is still touting the totalitarian fascist line that says the

4

written by Mark Taylor-Canfield

controlling regime has the authority to violate human rights in the name of national security.

Cheney actually sees this as the duty of all powerful men. He seems to think that the only way to fight terrorism is to destroy the Magna Carta and the US Constitution.

With so-called patriotic “protectors” like that in high places, who needs enemies? It seems sometimes that in Cheney’s mad version of reality, democracy is the real enemy.

Cheney opposes the closing of Guantanamo Bay. He claims that torture techniques such as water boarding has stopped alleged terrorist attacks against the US. In other words, he is in favor of violating international treaties and domestic laws protecting human rights. There is no way around this conclusion. Cheney’s line of thinking is truly frightening and dangerous to us all for many practical reasons besides the obvious moral outrage. Most experts on interrogation say that torture only extracts fake confessions and false information. That is why water boarding is prohibited by the US Army’s field manual. The victims will usually

say whatever they think the interrogator wants to hear in order to stop the pain. This technique, by the way, is actually effective in forcing false testimony from detainees for political purposes.

This includes attemtpts to justify an illegal war by claiming the chosen adversary has pursued the development of weapons of mass destruction, or to establish confabulated ties between the Iraqi regime of Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda.

In the end, however, the international community did not believe these lies told so boldly by George W. Bush and his rightwing warmonger cronies, despite the misidentified satellite photos presented to the United Nations

by Secretary of State Colin Powell, etc. Even if they got the falsified testimonies, the world was not duped by the propaganda of the Bushites and the Halliburton corporation.

Leon Panetta is the former White House Chief of Staff for President Bill Clinton. He also served in the US House of R e p re s e n t a t i v e s as a congressman from California’s 16th Congressional District. In April Leon Panetta officially fired the law firm that had advised the CIA to practice water boarding and other extreme interrogation techniques. Mitchell Jensen and Associates was operated by two psychologists. Even the US Senate Armed Services Committee identified James Mitchell and Bruce Jensen as the originators of these dangerous and faulty techniques, and their work was condemned by other professionals in the field of psychology as an unethical abuse of power.

Panetta publicly endorsed the creation of a “truth commission” to investigate these abuses, but President Barack Obama pushed back and stopped the idea from becoming a reality. One has to wonder why the president is so unwilling to expose these violations of

human rights to the public. What is he trying to hide and who is he attempting to protect from prosecution? We are learning that Democrats are also implicated in these crimes since the CIA claims members of Congress were informed of these techniques, including torture. Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives, blocked any and all attempts to begin impeachment proceedings against Bush and Cheney. We now know that Leon Panetta claims she was briefed on these policies, so we can see the reasons behind her unwillingness to see justice served. Pelosi counters that she did not know. One thing is for sure - one of them is lying. Panetta’s public battle with Pelosi over this important issue is another example of his unwillingness to back down. He has been criticized for this stubborn attitude by both Democrats and Republicans who say he is too confrontational in his political style, alienating even his cohorts in the Democratic party.

Whatever the truth may be, Pelosi and Panetta are at odds when it comes to who knew what and when they were informed.

According to Panetta, CIA records show that Pelosi was briefed as early as September 2002.

She claims the CIA is deliberately misleading the public. Although the CIA admits it used water boarding on Al Qaeda suspect Abu Zubaydah, using the simulated drowning method at least 83 times, Pelosi still claims, “The only mention of waterboarding at that briefing was that it was not being employed.”

She denies the claims of the CIA, publicly calling them out as liars.

In return Leon Panetta accuses Pelosi of confabulation. His claims are equally ridiculous given the covert nature and past history of the Central Intelligence Agency: “Let me be clear: It is not our policy or practice to mislead Congress. That is against our laws and our values.”

In an official CIA statement, he said, “Our contemporaneous records from September 2002 indicate that CIA officers briefed truthfully on the interrogation of Abu Zubaydah, describing ‘the enhanced techniques that had been employed.’”

So, according to Panetta, the CIA would never mislead the US Congress because the agency is just too ethical to do that kind of thing, and yet they had no problem with using torture as an interrogation technique despite its prohibition by every human rights treaty since the Geneva Convention. The hypocrisy is absolutely mind boggling.

Was Nancy Pelosi, the most powerful member of the House of Representatives, distracted or asleep during this meeting?

Has the CIA doctored the records to cover up their own deception? Is Pelosi simply prevaricating to protect her reputation as a representative of the people? If we ever learn the truth, one of them is going to go down in history as either completely incompetent or as a premeditated liar. Whatever the outcome, the Bush administration’s torture regime will surely haunt us for many years to come.

myspace.com/stlouissinner

Pipers Pit

by Saab Lofton

Oh, Bomb A Country, Pt II "The Senate approved $91 billion in funding for the wars in Afghanistan, Iraq and Pakistan yesterday [May 21st, 2009]... The no-strings-attached legislation comes as a deep disappointment to progressive members of Congress, as well as to anti-war voters, many of whom hoped the Obama administration would mark a significant break with Bush-style war funding." – Maya Schenwar, truthout.org, May 22nd, 2009

Well, it's official: I hate Obama...

5,0 a li 00 mi f

for

ted

tim

re

e. L

og

em

on

and

em

typ

e in

be

pro

mo

rs

cod

hip

e: N

30P

s

4Y

73

Oh, don't get me wrong – if some idiot tried to assassinate Obama, I'd throw myself between him and the bullet faster than any secret service agent would. Why? Because that colossally overrated Cabana Boy for the D.L.C. (Democratic Leadership Council) does NOT deserve to be a martyr. Having said that, I still hate his cowardice and how he's pissing away a golden opportunity to make the world a better place.

If I were to ever go to jail for taking someone out, it'd only be after I hear another motherfucker make excuses for the President of the United States; the single most powerful person in Human history.

For instance, in the May 14th, 2009 issue of Eat the State, Seattle resident Bob Miller wrote the following in his letter to the editor: "Obama's dilemma is what to do with a million troops, mercenaries and military contractors were they to be demobilized and brought back to the mainland. There are no jobs for them. Turning swords into ploughshares is not in Obama's cards."

There's a HUGE difference between can't and won't. The laws of physics dictate we can't fly like Superman, but those same natural laws ain't keeping Obama from "turning swords into ploughshares."

As powerful as the president is, he/she can, but he/she won't; he/she chooses not to because a) he's/she's a coward or b) his/her family is being held hostage.

In the Old West, you could only join the Pony Express if you were an orphan. Maybe the same prerequisite should be the case when it comes to being president. Seriously, I'm getting real tired of shit not getting done because somebody couldn't keep their legs closed. Take Star Wars – all Anakin had to do was leave Amidala alone, but oh, no..!

Bob Miller's letter claims there's a so-called "dilemma" insofar as what to do with a million homebound troops, but there's NO dilemma! As I've said for YEARS now, we the people need a Greenpeace version of F.D.R.'s New Deal! Train those troops to be environmentalists! Teach them to do good deeds! Get their asses over that white supremacist fear of being bred out by dark skinned people and ship 'em to Haiti. Why Haiti? Because they could help clear away all the mud covering Haitian roads and keeping those supposedly lazy people from going to work/school! According to The Associated Press (Sept. 26th, 2008), "Gray mud is still piled waist-high in homes, coating prized television sets, books and cooking pots. Tens of thousands still live in shelters and roam muddy streets looking for food... The floods from [hurricanes] Fay, Gustav, Hanna and Ike destroyed an estimated 60 percent of Haiti's food harvest."

You good ol' boys want glory? Y'all want that pat on the back and the right to waive that damn flag with moral incumbency? Then be one of the good guys (for a change)!

Unfortunately, FOX News has a FAR bigger audience than li'l ol' moi, so if Obama were to suddenly grow a backbone and do the right thing, some snide prick will tell tens of millions that he'd be leaving us defenseless. Well, if anyone wants proof that an increase in the already bloated military budget will NOT keep us safe, consider this: The military budget for 2000/2001 was in the hundreds of billions; higher than that of any other nation-state, AND YET those planes STILL crashed into those buildings on 9-11 DID THEY NOT? Of course they did, so shoveling money down the Pentagon's Orwellian Memory Hole does NOTHING but make an elite of weapons manufacturers even wealthier.

I'll end with this paragraph from the afterword of Boomerang: How our covert wars have created enemies across the Middle East and brought terror to America by Mark Zepezauer: "Ultimately, there is no military solution to the problem of terrorism. We can defend ourselves best by working to eliminate the root causes of terrorism: hunger, disease, lack of education, repression. It's true that bin Laden himself is neither poor nor uneducated, but millions support him because they perceive him as standing up to the forces that subsidize their oppression. We can combat that perception by showing our willingness to right past wrongs and to work for a more just world order. The al-Qaida network has never once said that they attack us because they envy our freedom. They have said time and again that they oppose our support for the occupation of Palestine, our deadly sanctions against the people of Iraq, and our military alliance with the corrupt monarchy that holds sovereignty over Muslim holy lands.

Reversing these policies just happens to be the right thing; we should not stay on this counterproductive path just because our enemies demand otherwise. We can deny them support by proving them wrong about us."

5

Essay | Thoughts On Independence Day

by Henry Nicolle This essay is a personal note to those who consider my ideas of individual rights and liberty to be embarrassingly impractical in our modernity. My opinion being an insignificant singularity, I suppose my ideals can be considered “fringe” and my conduct to be “immature and unrealistic”.

These are my beliefs: We are all born equally to this earth, each possessing identical and innumerable individual Rights, including the fullness Liberty Leading the People of Liberty to express those rights without interference.

We have created our governments, which have no inherent powers at all, to preserve our inherent, individual Rights and Liberty and we grant powers for no other independent purpose.

The needs and conveniences of neither government nor society may supersede their duty to preserve and respect individual Rights and Liberty.

I accept that we have differences of opinions on things political and ethical which are mostly centered around what crimes are committed in our name, absent any real objection by us, with our hands and with our consent or approval.

I can only suspect that the reasons for our disparity of ideas are due to the fact that the wounds of emerging tyranny and authoritarian conduct have not yet touched your person or poisoned your life choices. I suspect that most of us exist in the same secure mental rabbithole. Some of us are beyond understanding or caring.

Most people that I meet are indifferent to external influence of their thoughts and even to overt control of their lives. Only a few are aware, feeling any concern at all. Beer, pizza, sex and sports continue to dominate the daily interest of America.

The worlds of Orwell, Huxley and Wells are visibly absorbing our societies of nation-states and kingdoms.

Throw in a little “Soylent Green” (oooh! Now, THERE is a predictive title!) aided by genetic engineering and we are at the threshold of global misery, complete centralized stewardship and imaginary freedom. Genghis Khan, Churchill, Roosevelt, Stalin and Mao would all have traded an arm, a leg and a testicle for the capabilities available to our new leadership.

I have been working and living the political life of a 1776 “Patriot” and “Enlightenment Age Liberal” in the 20/21st century. Not an easy or rewarding choice. Sitting innocent of any crime, naked in a jail cell, being mocked by our police as “One of those Liberty people” and enduring the subsequent mockery of our judiciary’s defiant “Mr. Nicolle, just where do you get the idea that a common citizen can initiate impeachment proceedings against a JUDGE?” are not things that promote confidence in a government which was created to preserve our inherent rights and liberty (None of them accept the concepts of Citizen Sovereignty, Delegated Powers and Protected Rights.).

They have forgotten their place and purpose . . . and ours.

You could not pay me enough money nor award laurels of achievement upon my head sufficient to bend me to submit to the will of criminals and serve the criminal polices which have been heaped upon us in this “New America”.

They are willing to destroy us all who will not submit and obey, (and include among that number all those they believe are excess to their purposes). We are mortal enemies.

The personal policy to “hide-and-watch until we see which way the wind is blowing” is likely to be a mortal one.

Reason fails in the hopeless heart, replaced by a desire to feel the heat of violence and the taste of blood. The desire grows unbearable and unquenchable. The potential for frustrated, unimaginative mobs grows. Human reason for quiet resolution vanishes. The mob’s anger will become your passionate justification for institutional violence and blood spilled upon our soil.

If you love Liberty and will in defense, but fail to act while success is possible, you will be doomed to strive only when failure is certain. Act now for Liberty and Peace, such is our only acceptable option. Silence, inaction and acceptance of the servile status quo in the face of rising institutional intolerance and exploitation is personal, ignoble surrender and the fruit is involuntary servitude.

Call it what you please, when the State or society express a prior claim upon your life, labor and property, you are mere chattel, nothing more than an animal to be sustained and nurtured until harvested by its owners and masters.

Where will you stand as the ball turns? With Liberty or with the perpetrators of dominion by conquest at home and crusade and jihad abroad?

In Iraq, Afghanistan and at home, destruction and reconstruction “in our image” upon the ashes of conquest is the justification for the millions we kill and the destruction of Liberty in our own society? Is it a fair trade for your Liberty?

6

myspace.com/stlouissinner

NG I S U R O O H O P RE S A ’ S A W E C I I T R I E R M O A IN M AND

by Jeff Diggs

S

trike 3, you’re out! Three-strike laws are statutes enacted by state governments which require the state courts to hand down a mandatory and extended period of incarceration to habitual and persistent offenders who have been convicted of a serious criminal offense on three or more occasions. The concept sounds good in theory but is the law applied correctly to the intended serious criminal offenders.

The exact application of the three strike laws varies considerably from state to state. Some states require all three felony convictions to be for violent crimes in order for the mandatory sentence to be pronounced while other states like California mandate the enhanced sentence for any third felony conviction so long as the first two felonies were deemed to be either violent or serious. In other words, three strikes become a twostrike law since the third event does not have to be considered a violent crime, only the first 2.

The results have been controversial. A state will punish shoplifting and similar crimes involving over $500 in property as felony petty theft if the person who committed the crime has a prior conviction for any form of theft including robbery or burglary. As a result, some defendants have been given sentences of 25 years to life in prison for such crimes as shoplifting and drug possession. For example, Gary Ewing who shoplifted golf clubs and had previous strikes for burglary and robbery with a knife received 25 years to life. Leandro Andrade shoplifted nine videotapes and received a double sentence of 25 years to life for 2 counts of shoplifting. Jerry Dewayne Williams assaulted a group of children while stealing a slice of pizza and received 25 years to life and had 4 previous non-violent felonies.

In one particularly notorious case, Kevin Weber was sentenced to 26 years to life for the crime of stealing four chocolate chip cookies. Kevin Weber had previous strikes for burglary and assault with a deadly weapon. No one is making excuses for these crimes but a mandatory incarceration of 25 years or more is excessive.

In some states, first and second strikes are counted by individual charges rather than individual cases. This means a defendant can receive both the first and second strike from a single event. In other

words, three strikes become a one-strike law since the first event contained 2 violent convictions. Convictions from all 50 states and the federal courts at any point in the defendant's past, including juvenile offenses that would otherwise be sealed, can be counted as a strike. On March 5, 2003, the U.S. Supreme Court held by a 5 - 4 majority that such extreme incarceration sentences do not violate the Eighth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution which prohibits "cruel and unusual punishment." The high court truly erred in this decision.

America has the highest rate of imprisonment in the Western world. In 2008, there were 2.3 million adults in US prisons. That’s 1% of theUS adult population that was in jail or the size of a major US city such as St. Louis or Seattle. The cost of imprisoning large numbers of individuals for extended periods of time has often crippled state's economies. In 2008, California had the largest state expenditures at $9.7 billion to operate its 33 correctional facilities housing 171,000 inmates at a cost of $56,725 annually per prisoner. By contrast, California spent less than $5,000 annually per child in California classrooms.

This highlights the real problem not just in California but across the United States. Minorities and the poor are most impacted by incarceration. 1 in 36 Hispanic adults is in prison. 1 in 15 Black adults is in prison of which 1 in 9 is between the ages of 20 to 34. The cycle of warehousing people in this nation must come to an end.

The three-strike law has only worsened the situation.

Three strikes can be a good deterrent tool when applied fairly or correctly to violet criminal offenders. The law is currently being used to remove anyone from the general population which are mostly the poor and under educated. If this nation would properly educate its children, there would be fewer violent crimes committed and more productivity throughout society resulting in a reduced need for prisons and incarceration. Instead of spending $56,000 a year to incarcerate a person in a violent prison system, this nation needs to invest that money in rehabilitating, reeducating and consoling people so that no one ever reaches three strikes. As a society, we all need to ask ourselves why we have failed our children by not providing them with a hopeful future of prosperity.

7

by Matt Presti THIS WAS A DREAM I HAD THE OTHER NIGHT...

Wall street & the federal reserve today, inundated by recent financial turmoil and civil unrest, were forced by large crowds consisting primarily of U.S. citizens to close down permanently.

The United States military, in conjunction with the FBI, state and local police, and thousands of enraged citizens, arrested former President George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and several of their former cabinet members and military Generals. This came after mass arrests of 1000s of CEOs & White Collar workers involved with corrupt financial companies, the media, the Pentagon, and many Federal Reserve private share holders.

Alan Greenspan, from his jail cell shared by Ben Bernanke and Henry Paulson, begged for forgiveness and a smaller prison sentence than the 500 years imposed by a federal judge.

The arrests of Federal Reserve members and the issuance of warrants for several Rothschild and Rockefeller family members, along with numerous other prominent power brokers, has caused a fever of other arrests to take place throughout small town America, all believed to be involved in what many Americans are calling, “the greatest conspiracy in human history.”

Several members of Congress, along with former Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton, were also arrested in raids by Special Forces and state and local police. The courts are near ready to begin the first trials of those arrested and charged with treason. People could be seen cheering in the streets as America has began what some are calling “The greatest Renaissance in human history.”

In spite of the collapse of the world economies and the U.S. economic system, people all over America and the world have began to help one another with food, housing and shelter, making this the single greatest humanitarian effort in recorded history.

As the remaining congressional members debated the erasure of all debt and a new currency to be issued without interest, provided by the recently fully restored Constitution of the United States and re-declaration of the Bill Of Rights, onlookers at the capitol building were watching in excitement as Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich cut a symbolic ribbon to mark the full return of freedom to the world and its inhabitants.

Members of congress, taking note of the recent calls by several countries to reconvene the recently disbanded United Nations, debated a new form of the failed U.N that would justly include without policy all countries of the world with full equal status.

Members of the Armed Forces have began a full

8

withdrawal from Iraq, Afghanistan, and all other US occupied nations, after the historic apology given by Congressional mandate, which was read to the nation on the recently reacquired major news networks, following the arrest of over 100 CEOs, editors and newspaper owners. Rupert Murdoch could be seen weeping as he was led into the county sheriff’s department in handcuffs, following his recent arrest in New York.

In response to the lack of prison space available due to all the arrests, the new Attorney General declared “all nonviolent drug offenders are to be immediately released” to make room for all the new detainees from the “White Collar round up,” as it is being heralded in the U.S. today.

The ‘War on Drugs’ has been officially ended by Congressional mandate. Congress also repealed and struck down the Patriot Act and all former executive orders by George W. Bush. The Department of Homeland Security was disbanded as was the TSA, NSA, CIA and FEMA. Michael Chertoff was deported to Israel to face charges of conspiracy in Israeli courts and faces up to 50 consecutive life sentences behind bars.

Several conspirators were also found dead from what officials are calling “self inflicted” wounds or suicide. Those include former cabinet members Don Rumsfeld & Condollizza Rice, Henry Kissinger, John McCain, Barack Obama, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, and McGruff the Crime Dog, to name only a few.

Over the world, news agencies are reporting the end of wars and reconciliations on the part of Jews and Arabs in Israel following mass arrests of white collar criminals in several countries prompted by the mass arrests in the U.S.

A new international holiday has been declared, November 5th, as “World Family Day”.

A Native American Elder on the streets of Washington D.C. said “My people have long waited for this day which we knew would come. The Great Spirit is again in our midst “.

In several cities across the world, UFOs have been witnessed by millions of onlookers. Scientists, now free of corporate constraints, have said that “they appear to be communicating with us, but have not yet made official contact.”

And then I woke up...

myspace.com/stlouissinner

by Chuck Foster

H

ailing from Seattle The Sinner is no stranger to carny folk and freaks, we’ve been running with the vagabonds from PURE Cirkus for about seven years now. So it was a sinful treat for us to discover that The Sadistic Scenic Side Show was coming to Atomic Cowboy on Friday, July 17. What makes this fire eating and block smashing night orgasmic for us is the fact that they’re hitting the Cowboy with The Sons of Black

Mass, our featured band of Devil Rockers a few months back. Now you know this is going to be a sadistic freak show, with a twist of Satan.

I contacted Side Show founders Z and Pinkie to ask them who they are and what to expect when they hit the stage later this month. The pair says that they’re a “fun filled freak fest that showcases the morbidity of violence in society” with a rotating cast of “human wonders, who bring their brand of ‘old time’ entertainment into modern world.” As a child Z says that he obsessed about the circus and carnivals, constantly day-dreaming of running away with one to escape the hardships of the extremely narrow minded environment he was born into.

It was years later, though, after meeting a very

talented young lady named Pinkie, that his childhood dreams would finally come true.

Even with their new partnership growing, the two felt that something was missing. In 2002 Z and Pinkie vanished from civilized society to study under a mysterious curator known only as HELLGATE. Three years later, reprogrammed and rejuvenated, the sadistic duo has launched their first set of HELLGATE’s Social Experiments for a desensitized and bloodthirsty world. Today the group says it’s constantly obtaining new recruits for Hellgate’s experiments, so one can always expect to see a rotating cast of different morbid and disturbing creations.

What can you expect from a typical SSSS show, you dare wonder?

Z says they combine the traditional sideshow antics, such as the bed of nails, glass eating, and the human blockhead, with more modern acts of torture, such as needles under the fingernails and the old blowtorch on the tongue. Overall Z says that the show mixes comedy with shock and awe, that it will leave you flabbergasted and entertained in a whimsical way that not only makes you think but keeps you in stitches while doing so.

He also says that you will leave with something, whether it’s laughter, anger or just good ‘ol fashion nausea!

As with all stunts, Pinkie wants to remind all of you foolish sinners out there to never ever try what you see them do, that they are “trained professionals, and well..... you aren’t.” Call that the Side Show’s pre-show disclaimer, because they know that monkeys do what monkeys see.

To find out more information and photos on this group of phenomenally fearless peculiar performers that stretch the limits of the human body to amaze and entertain, log on to: www. myspace.com/sceniccitysideshow. And be sure to come out to The Atomic Cowboy on July 17th for one hell of a freak show, just be sure to bring a handkerchief and a barf bag!

Hide The Kids. I’m Goin’ A’Ranting

By Matt Pachmayr

* President Bret Michaels has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? We could have hoards of washed up strippers fighting over who gets to blow him in the same room Monica Lewinski gave Slick Willie the ole one-eye, once-over; and then, when they find out there were cigars involved, it saves a dying industry and single handily ends the embargo on Cuban goods in America. It is only a matter of time before America turns to a reality star for leadership. The American public will not stand for logic and reason to guide our political process, we like it when MSNBC resembles TMZ; by the way shouldn’t Pat O’Brien have Katie Couric’s job, am I the only one who finds his moustache powerful and mesmerizing? Give it twenty years, and somehow, someway, reality TV will be involved with the presidency. And no, a classy documentary doesn’t count as reality TV. I’m talking trashy, edited to make people look crazy, clearly written scripts by hack writers, and lots of people degrading themselves for some sort of recorded proof of their existence in a culture that loves to mock them and forget them. After reading that, maybe that’s already happening. There is always some schmuck who thinks he can get away with a character flaw like infidelity or being so cheap that they hire illegal immigrants for nannies.

If I were talking, this is when I would cough under my breath and say, John Edwards. It’s not that I don’t appreciate seeing a man fall so ungracefully from the public sector –Eliot Spitzer– I mean, shit, it takes a lot of balls to be so hypocritical and so naïve to think you can get away with it, but good TV shouldn’t be our first priority when it comes to a presidential election. * Anybody else miss the old hot girls on the phone commercial? You know, the one where some unbelievable hot female tells the lonely, homely, horse-mouthed virgin that she is sitting at home, just waiting for him to call. The commercial ends with the catchy slogan of, “hot girls, pick up the phone, hot girls, pick up the phone”. I still get this song stuck in my head. These commercials are a staple of late night television, beautiful people selling fantasies to people who have no one else to spend their money on. Until recently these commercials were almost entirely heterosexual.

TV, always the first to show equality towards race and sex has begun to air similar commercials marketed towards the homosexual community. This is a wonderful thing. Capitalism has fully embraced the purchasing power of homosexual men, quickening their entrance into mainstream culture, and the late night sex commercial market is the final step into the warm bosom of Adam Smith and John Locke’s Capitalism. But where-oh-where are the commercials for women or their lesbian friends? Does it make any sense that homosexuality is more acceptable to the palette of the average TV consumer than the thought of women looking for sexual partners through a phone service? Do gigolos not exist; does Chippendale’s not make money selling cock and still make me laugh when I see Chris Farley trying to become a famed Chippendale’s dancer? The answer is very obvious; of course they do, I laugh every time I see Farley do a faux pirouette. I realize that in the minds of most Americans, and mine included, women do not have the desperate urges that men do because they can satisfy their needs when they so choose. They hold the sexual power, they are the ones with the ultimate decision. The “Yes” and the “No” resides in the woman’s possession. But is our economy not missing out on a sure thing? People buy sex. There are as many maladjusted women, socially awkward and unlucky enough to be born ugly, as there are men; and these women deserve their own late night commercials. If the homosexuals get to have steroids aided beefcakes tell them they are really sitting at home, just waiting to get a call from them, then so should the women. * How in the hell is Byron Allen still on TV? If this is affirmative action at work then sign me up for a petition because this no-talent douche bag has been stinking up the air waves for as long as I can remember. For those of you who are lucky enough to have no idea who I am talking about, Byron Allen is a TV personality who used to have a show called Entertainers with Byron Allen, which normally aired at 2:30 in the morning. Us poor bastards without cable and thirty minutes into a fresh line of southwest Missoura’s finest meth had to endure thirty minutes of torture while this retarded man tossed his whole face into the puckered anus’s of Hollywood’s finest actors. He actually got A-List actors, but of course the show was shot in such a way that for the first 2 minutes Byron and the guest are never shown in the same shot. It’s so apparent that you start thinking this poor fucker can’t even get these celebrities to sit in the same room with him, but eventually there comes a shot of them together. And now, as I try to shake off the effects of too much ice cream and Friday night boredom, I see Byron Allen staring back at me in all his Kenny Bania glory (Seinfeld character considered a hack, look it up), hosting a show called Comics Unleashed. The idea that this man could have a show with the word “unleashed” in it is so appalling that I can’t imagine what executive producer/studio head raped this man’s child only to be told by Byron that he wouldn’t go to the cops if he could only stay on TV for a bit longer, because it’s the only way I can imagine this waste of space getting a show with “comics” and “unleashed” in the title. Byron Allen is a black comedian who I would easily call the worst white comedian I have ever seen in my life.

Correll Photography

10

myspace.com/stlouissinner

UNMASKED!

written by Chuck Foster

“You

I

ex or The

boy: s , e ic o h c e got on

n today’s world of MySpace and Facebook, you never know what to expect from a band after listening to a few songs online. Too often the music is tweaked and tweaked again in studio, producing a twisted version of the real deal. It can be like online dating, never knowing when you’ll meet Mr./Miss Right or find yourself skinned and hanging from a meat hook the next morning.

And if you decide to venture out to your local venue from an online chat, or even that enticing invitation that was sent to you, not only can the band suck, so can their stage performance. A lot like dating in general or hanging from a meat hook.

Well, these are worries that need not concern you when it comes to The Saw Is Family, other than finding an axe starring you in the face at a live show every now and then. These psychopaths are known to slice-n-dice audiences with demented tunes and produce an anything-goes stage performance from start to finish, including axes, sex dolls and chainsaws! The sex dolls are optional, but the axes and saws are guaranteed.

Having went through too many band members to even remember after 18 years, and too many missing persons investigations to recollect, the Saw’s family now consist of Lougy and Glitter Saw on guitar-slashvocals, Anarchy Saw on drums-slashvocals, Ace Saw on bass-slashvocals and Dellwood Saw

family!”

ws, b

ody kno b o n x e S .

Saw

on the most deadly instrument, the Chainsaw.

And let me warn you, Dellwood knows this piece very well.

Lougy Saw created the band some 18 years ago in 1991, when one twisted thought entered his mind: the infamous quote from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre II, “You got one choice boy: sex or The Saw. Sex nobody knows, but The Saw, The Saw is family!” That one liner influenced the band’s name, but it was the unhinged antics of other madmen who influenced their sound, like Kiss, Alice Cooper, Led Zepplin and Motorhead.

When The Family aren’t sharpening their axes and oiling their chainsaws for the potential stranded tourist on some back road, they like to get out and have a little fun with other local bands. They like to catch The Trip Daddys, Bitch Slap Barbie, The Unmutuals, Devil Baby Freakshow, The Reebs and Lovely Destruction, to name a few, but they promise that they always release each member unharmed after the show. “You know, friends are always safe with the Family.”

Beyond opening a few heads and bodies here and there, The

The Saw is , w a S e h T ut

Family says they wish there were a few more open-minded people in the area, willing to give different types of music a chance. They would also like to see a few more band friendly clubs in St. Louis open up, which they think might bring a few more stranded tourist their way. That would be a win-win situation for everyone in St. Louis.

In The Family’s spare time they continue to work on numerous side-projects, like making new body suits from human skin and perfecting their shrunken head technique, but between fun time, they’re also working on a new album to be released in the near future and performing live as much as possible.

What can you say, every Family has to put meat on the table.

Not all is fun and predatory hunting games for The Family, though. They say it’s been tough for them to keep a consistent line up over the years since each of them have a healthy

carnivorous appetite, but that they’re happy with the family they have now. Beyond that, they say that it’s been a lot of fun over the years with all the fans who continue to return to their shows, and having the clubs continue to book them, even though a few people go missing every once in a while.

To find out more on The Saw Is Family go to: myspace.com/thesawisfamilyband. But let me warn you, if you’re not careful it can be like internet dating, you might find yourself invited over for diner, only to be skinned and hanging from a meat hook the next morning... like they say, “You got one choice, boy: Sex or the saw. Sex nobody knows, but The Saw, The Saw is family!”

Off the beaten path…Centralia, IL written by Malice

Some friends of ours came down and we made plans to drive out to the middle of the cornfields to see Dust And Bones (lead guitarist Sean Quidgeon is a friend of theirs) in a little bar called Poplar Place.

This is the MOST fun you can have out in the corn! We lived in this area for 6 years and I have never seen a band like this one! It was Sleaze Rawk: long hair, tattoos, purty guitars, girlies dancing onstage….a virtual rock-n-roll orgy with our local dirty rocker boys.

These guys are a fun party band. On Friday nights they play covers – all the great sleazy songs from the 80s, and some current songs like “Bad Girlfriend.” On Saturday nights they play their originals – “She’s On Fire”, “Pair O Dice”, “Feed My Disease” and my personal favorite, “Whisky Dick”. Their CD, VOODOO, in the tradition of Roxy Blue and WildSide, Poison and Cinderella, is Sleaze Rawk like it was meant to be!

Sean is a veteran musician, having shared a stage with Naked Beggars (Eric Brittingham of Cinderella) and with Charlie Wayne Morrill (Bullet Boys) in Platinum Rose. He does some really neat tricks with his guitar – highly entertaining! The rest of the guys, Nick, Big Dawg, & Ryan put on a great show, too – they all sing, so you get a different feel with each song.

These guys play all over Illinois, so if you’re ever in the mood for something different, take the short roadtrip across the river! You can find them in Trenton, IL. at Jail House Rock & Papa Wheelies, in Centralia quite often, as well as in Vandalia and Collinsville. Check them out on MySpace www.myspace. com/dustandbonesroxxx.

Something weird seems to happen when a local business celebrates its first year of survival. It’s as if the gods come down to all those that business has touched over the year and lead them in that direction. In the case of Mamacitas one year anniversary on June 5th, it may have been the $1 (daily) PBRs, Deadweight and The Red-Headed Strangers instead of something mystical.

Whatever the case, it was a sight and sound to witness. People were sitting outside on the steps, enjoying fresh air and friendships, the inside was packed from wall to wall, like a hot tamale, and the beers were cold and cheap, the way the gods meant for them to be. And the music, well, it mixed all of the above like a margarita that would have made Jimmy Buffet jump up and down and remix “Margaritaville” with a country twang.

To separate Deadweight and The Red-Headed Strangers is hard to do, as both are country honky-tonk, and many of the members are in both bands, except for a couple gals on vocals in RHS. At times throughout the night the beers and margaritas made the two seem like I was in the midst of an acid flashback, sounds and familiar faces blending in and out, which is never a bad thing. But when the lights finally flickered at 1am, all I could say is that each band put on one-hell-of-a floor-stompin’ show!

Be sure to check out Mamacitas, Deadweight and The Red-Headed Strangers real soon, you hear? And that’s me talkin’ to you, not the gods... but I promise they would say the same.

June 6th at the Way Out Club The difference between an advocate and an asshole is one gives for the reason of giving, while the other wants something in return.

It doesn’t matter whether or not you offer your time, a gift, or a $10 cover. It’s the idea of supporting your community and those who reside in it, even if you don’t know them. With that said, it was intoxicating to find The Way Out Club asshole free on June 6th for The Ryan Henerey Benefit.

From what I gathered Ryan had been seriously injured a few months back in a motorcycle accident when some asshole did a u-turn and put him on his ass. Reading between the obvious lines of bills and missed work, his friends threw him a fundraiser. And, man, did they throw a fuckin’ doozy!

Entertainers, performers and sponsors came out of the woodwork in old-school American fashion. The Spark Plugs kicked the night off, firing-up the packed house like they were drinking jet fuel instead of alcohol. Then it was Craig Daddy & The Carbombs who hit next, blowing the crowd away with their rockabilly originals and a few Trip Daddy favorites. Then it was Clownvis, half clown, half King, who gave everyone in attendance a dose of laughter and song in true King fashion. Then it was The Alley Cat Revue, purring the sinners in the crowd into erotic delight. Last up was Satan’s favorite minions, The Sons Of Black Mass, who knocked every religious bone in the house to the curb, broken and bloody, but wanting more.

Then there were the sponsors, who seemed endless. Tattoos from Cheap TRX and Trader Bob’s were hot items, as was the gifts from St. Louis’ newest hot spot for beauty and brew, The Beauty Bar. And there were several more that I cannot recall. That’s always a good night, to get lost in bliss by not only booze, but good people and a great cause!

So remember, it’s always cooler to be an advocate than an asshole, and it makes the hangover less painful feeling good about yourself!

14

myspace.com/stlouissinner

Jenn Malzone and Cathie Degler

The Paper Dolls review by Matt Pachmayr

I

am a big fan of the cello. I have often told my girlfriend that when I leave her it will be for a woman who plays cello, so it makes sense that I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the Paper Dolls. I caught them on a Thursday night at Mangia on South Grand. Mangia is an Italian restaurant with an upper echelon dive bar feel. The atmosphere was very relaxed, yet pretty busy because the Paper Dolls brought in a lot of fans, mostly women, who all seemed to love the band. I hadn’t seen such a distorted male/female ratio since I worked a concession stand at the last Lilith Fair, back when I used to follow around Sarah McLachlan.

The first song of the night, “Haunted Soup”, found lead singer/pianist Jenn Malzone playing some very Dresden Doll like piano riffs and it was the one instance in the otherwise superb set where the vocals felt awkward. The vocals were talked or chanted, depending on your definition, instead of sung. Malzone’s vocals were a wonderful compliment to the music and she sounded better the louder she got. The band did a great job of combining her vocals with back-up vocals from bass player Malice Cooper. This wasn’t my favorite song, but it set the tone, musically, for the rest of the set.

“Black Cat Stories” showed off every part of the band; bass, piano, drums, and cello merging together to create a song full of rich emotion, keyed by cellist Cathie Degler. The Paper Dolls always seemed to hit the mark emotionally, they didn’t overdue it by drawing out the songs or by trying to force false feelings through the songs. The first three songs of the set seemed to fit a certain mold, inspired by the Dresden Dolls, Portishead, and a little Murder by Death.

Thankfully the Paper Dolls kept their songs short and sweet, using pop structure, which left the audience wanting more, but not to the point of droning.

The fourth song of the night, “30 Thousand”, found the band leaving that mold behind and creating something completely their own. The song started off with a pop/gothic bass line and the excellent drum work of Jill Aboussie, whose rhythm kept the music upbeat and danceable all night. The vocals were out front and fast, really fitting the song and the cello played a scintillating lead that gave me goose bumps. “30 Thousand” was the highlight of the show for me. The rest of the set found the Paper Dolls continuing to jump back and forth between upbeat numbers and slower more gothic bits, often within the same song, like “New Song”. They ended the night with a cover of LCD Soundsystem’s “New York I Love You”. Malzone’s vocals stood out during the cover as she sang the repeated lyrics of the song title. As the band finished the cover, I heard several people murmur, “That’s it? They should play longer,” and I felt the same way. The forty-five minute set went much too fast, and I found myself wanting to hear more. Good bands never play long enough. Check out The Paper Dolls music at myspace.com/wearethepaperdolls.

review by Matt Pachmayr

L

emmon’s is just about my favorite place in St. Louis to play for a few reasons: you get a free pizza just for playing, and the Chicago style deep dish is worth lugging around equipment without roadie help, the sound is usually very good, it’s one of those venues that doesn’t crank the volume to the point of annoyance, and it’s got a great dive bar atmosphere. So it was with great joy, and an indelible hunger, that I went to review my first show at Lemmon’s and hear a couple of bands I was familiar with and a few I wasn’t. Before I write about Dino Fight, The Theorists, and the Mad Titans, I will say that I can’t review The Gozerians because I used to play bass for them and I don’t feel right reviewing them. With that said, they are a good punk band in the Bad Religion/NOFX mold, though it’s more Bad Religion than NOFX in my opinion. They didn’t seem to enjoy the show and were a little miffed that people didn’t get into it, which I attributed to a low turnout rather than a commentary on their music. Although I enjoyed The Gozerians, their bass player is a major improvement over my attempt at being a punk bass player, but they showed a lack of class by leaving as soon as their set was done. I know it’s annoying to sit around and watch local bands you don’t know and/or don’t like, but it’s what you do, sort of an unwritten code amongst local musicians.

A band like Dino Fight is one reason people should be going to local shows. They are an all female 3 piece with a very peculiar and intriguing sense of humor. Their music was good; especially impressive was guitarist Lindsay Cranmer who led the band in their genre hopping musical forays. Dino Fight played a little bit of noise, punk, pop, and hard rock in their 8 song set, combining elements of each in their songs. Vocalist Core Perkins provided stellar vocals and witty banter between songs. Especially impressive to me, as a guy who has worn a crocheted penis and sung about transvestites and bestiality, were the humorous lyrics. “David Kessler’s Revenge” is a song about eating someone’s face and “Angry Inch” is a cover from the musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch. “Angry Inch” absolutely must be heard live, very funny stuff. I really dug the set, and after reviewing two other all female groups in previous weeks, The Paper Dolls and The 75s, I left Lemmon’s wanting to put on a muumuu, tape the penis down, and start a new band, Tape Job and the Imaginary Vajayjay. Dino Fight is busy recording their first record, but you can see them at the Way Out Club on August 28th , and you can hear them at myspace.com/dinofightstl. I can’t recommend this band enough, and I can’t wait to do a show with them sometime.

After the Gozerians played and left, The Theorists from Springfield, Missouri took the stage. The band consists of acoustic guitar, often fuzzy with distortion, bassoon (That’s right, bassoon. Unsure of what that is? Look it up.), and drums. I can’t heap too much praise upon the strange 3 piece because I am good friends with the bassoon player, Brent Fillmer, but if you like hard, bluesy music with a different twist to it, you need to check out the Theorists, especially the song “Two Words”. Singer Jared Durden crooned, “Music was better when they did heroin, music was better when they did.” Several of the people left at Lemmon’s told the band that music was indeed better when they did heroin. Of course, none of The Theorists are smack addicts, and that shows a lack of commitment in my book. They plan on releasing a full length record this fall. Hopefully they will come back to St. Louis before the summer is out. You can check them out at myspace.com/devilrentsmydownstairs.

The final band of the night was The Mad Titans. The Mad Titans are a 3 piece that concentrates on instrumentals, with the exception of one song. There was one song with vocals, but it seemed out of place with the rest of the set.

When you play instrumentals the music obviously has to be interesting so the audience doesn’t doze off in some sort of drug or alcohol induced coma, and the Mad Titans provided just that; interesting music that I wish I had been high for. They kind of reminded me of Primus if they were a surf band that just smoked weed and not crystal meth.

Highlights of the night included a Legend of Zelda theme song cover and the theme from the old X-Men cartoon. You can check them out at myspace.com/themadtitans.

Haunted Hotties ‘Cuz Halloween Can’t Wait

We were running mad late when we finally pulled in to the Skatium last month for the Haunted Hotties show, a half-way to Halloween celebration of sorts with Metal music, cheap booze and several costumed Hotties, of course. Lacking the proper attire of blood drenched clothing, latex skin and machetes, we felt a bit out of palce once we passed the door guy. We didn’t expect to celebrate Halloween until October, so I guess we underestimated the number of ghouls and goblins that reside in St. Louis – at least their eagerness to celebrate Hallows Eve. When you’re trying to hit two or three shows in one night something always goes wrong, but it could have been worse.

We could have been a lame-dick, no-show, or just arrived in time to slam a few whiskeys while the staff and vendors cleaned up. But we made it, just in time for the last couple bands, Guilty I Stand and Gutterspike. And if we had missed these two performances, the rest of the year would have been a living Hell.

Let me put it bluntly: neither of these bands fuck around, and they’re not for the weak of heart nor mind. This was Metal at its shapest, Ginsu sharp, the kind of blade that slices through aluminum cans and American Idol garbage like they’re tomotaoes ! Then you through a mosh pit of bloody and disfigured freaks into the mix while haunted looking hotties on skates blaze by you, and you know you’ve got one Hell-of-a Halloween Bash in June... Cuz Halloween just can’t wait! Or so says the Haunted Hotties of St. Louis!

ile at 10 M

House

Unmutuals Show Last month when I predicted the reunion of the UnMutals at The Ten Mile House was going to be as hot as this sweltering St. Louis Summer, I was way off – it was much fucking hotter! This four-man front produced so much heat it would have been acceptable to walk around with a portable airconditioner strapped to your back and a double-cup beer hat on your head; shit was melting and the line for booze deserved a double fist order, hence the hat. And to find a spot in the front to take photos or enjoy the push-n-shove punk first hand was a fight start to finish. Like I said, hot, body heat hot!

The night seemed to be a who’s who of St. Louis musicians, who mingled amongst peers and fans like they were at a backyard party instead of a show. Craig from The Trip Daddys was there, as were the cats from Devil Baby Freak Show and Rock n’ Roll maSheena. The only thing missing this night was the Red Carpet, but that’s the way The Ten Mile House is year round, whether it’s sipping down a Wild Turkey in the afternoon or kicking back and rocking out to some local tunes.

So I suggest you check these guys out before they’re gone on tour and you have to wait till next year to see them... and that’s one prediction you don’t want to see come true.

16

myspace.com/stlouissinner

Paganfest

I

never thought much of paganism, or where pagans stand when it comes to sin, or sinners. Of course, I know all too well how Christians deem sinners.

And since the Old Testament root of Christianity is Paganism, I didn’t know what to expect as I walked around Tower Grove Park last month sporting my Sinner T-Shirt for my first Paganfest.

I expected a few kooks here and there, and a few odd looks, maybe even a few Christian nuts trying to save the masses one soul at a time. Beyond a few kooks, it was much more of an arts and craft show with live music and such.

The old-world craftsmanship was extremely impressive, whether it was hand carved mugs and heads or elaborate gowns made for dark queens.

Perhaps the most interesting spectacle was Blacksmith Jason Lowery making tent poles from iron. It was like being on a movie set for an old John Wayne film as he pounded and pounded each molten piece. All that was missing was the horse and The Duke.

We arrived that afternoon in time to catch Lida Una. This was something that I did not expect, a rock band jammin’ a bunch of Pagans out. Not only was their music gracious to the soul, so were the members themselves. As we left the group was packing up, so I stopped to say we enjoyed the tunes. In return, with a smile and a thanks, the guy ran and got us a CD to take home with us, never knowing we were with The Sinner.

Thanks guys, and be sure to catch these cats live in the near future or on MySpace at: www. myspace.com/ lidauna.

www.myspace.com/stlouissinner

17

I

didn’t know what to expect from the St. Louis art community six months ago when we rode this beast named SINdication into Misery, whether or not there would even be enough alternative artist and photographers here to maintain our 12 issues per year, much less make the long haul of years. Never confuse this venture as some corporate run, either. We were blindfolded with our hands tied behind our backs from day one, until this wild beast finally bucked us from its back. Luckily for us we landed on our feet amongst many talented and quite progressive artists, settling all worries that a bottle of Wild Turkey couldn’t solve. Of all the artist I have met since that dreary winter day, it is a sinful pleasure to feature Rob Hunter this month.

As do many of artistic ilk, Rob developed an interest in photography at an early age, about 10 years-old, when he remebers shooting all “sorts of crap” with his Kodak Disc camera. He admits that it wasn’t until an art teacher in high school encouraged him to take his new photography class that his passion trully spawned. Of course, the purchase of a Canon AE-1 manual 35mm only added fuel to these curious flames. A few years later he dropped art as his major in college and switched his emphasis to photoography, which steered him into a position with a national portrait studio for about 7 years.

The old Cannon AE-1 has since been retired, although it served its purpose well. Rob says he used it through out his high school and college and into his job with that big national portrait company that he chooses to keep anonymous. Today he has went completely digital with a Canon 30D. When asked why, or why not the popular Nikon, he sites that the Canon was the most affordable model and that you should “go with what you know.”

I asked Rob about the front cover shoot, only one of two each year that I ask a certain feel come through; the other being October. He started by asking one of his favorite models, Sadie Massacre, to get involved. My only request was the American flag be worked in, which he says caused the two a racking of their brains since neither wanted a straight shot of her covering herself with the flag.

Instead they went with the post-production piece that led you to pick up this issue or turn it over – either way, objective achieved. Rob did add that he would like to see Old George replaced with Sadie on the dollar bill, that it would be more exciting, or at least the creation of a three dollar bill for her.

Having gained so much experience in the field over the years, I asked Rob what advice he would give to an up and coming photoographer? He says to “get exposure and build your presence.” He also says to build your gear, but to know that you’re not going to need some $5000 lighting rig to start with, and that Ebay has a ton of different lighting products for sale that will do just as good of a job.

When it comes to challenges that he has over come, Rob says that working for that big national studio was perhaps the toughest, that the fury of corporate budgets trying to squeeze each artist to stretch their dollar a little further is “pretty frustrating on a creative person.” Sometimes the rewards outweigh the challenges, as Rob has recently opened his own studio, where he says he now has his own space, own schedule and can do the kind of jobs that he wants to do. Rewarding, yes. With that reward, Rob wanted to share his by giving a huge thanks to all the models he’s worked with, and an even bigger thanks to his wife for putting up with him and his photography.

To find more of Rob’s work or to contact him please log on to his business site at: www. stlhunterphoto.com or on Model Mayhem at: www.modelmayhem.com/hunterphoto2 And you can alkways just go to MySpace and type in: myspace.com/huntermodels. I’m sure it will be as pleasureable for you as it was for this sinner.

18

l u f in

f o y ph

a r g to

o h P

r e nt

u H ob

eS h T

R

myspace.com/stlouissinner

For those of you that missed PRIDE last month, man did you miss out. We’ve had floats in PRIDE in Seattle, which were a bit disappointing due to the lack of creativity, but I hadn’t seen anything like this before. The GLBT folk here know how to throw a parade and they take a lot of pride into making it a great event with elaborate floats and costume.

And for any of you who may have caught me fall off the Rehab Trolley, I’m doing fine. No broken bones, only a bruised ego and ass. See you next year!

ART POTION CAMSTL 4TH ANNUAL CITY-WIDE OPEN STUDIOS

by Danielle Correll

H

ave you ever wondered how a piece of art work was created? Well now is your chance. The Contemporary Art Museum of Saint Louis presents us with their 4th Annual City-Wide Open Studios event.

Partnering up with Charter Communications, CAMSTL (The Contemporary Art Museum of Saint Louis) dedicates a week-long festivity of events.

This event provides an opportunity to, in other words, invade these artists’ spaces ,of course with permission, and view the creative world in depth, speak with the artists and purchase work.

“Grade A” The Firecracker Press (Tower Grove East)

A RT

During the week CAMSTL will host the Preview Party on Tuesday, July 21 at 5:30 p.m. The Preview Party is open to the public. Guests will be able to peruse the participating artists’ works before the big weekend.

The work will remain visible throughout the week during CAMSTL’s normal business hours (Wednesday through Saturday 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. and Sunday 11:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.). By the way the Event is Free!

The Studios will be open on Saturday, July 25 10:00 am to 4:00 p.m. and Sunday, July 26, 10:00 a.m. to

More Info: www.camstl.org openstudiosonline.org

The 2009 City-Wide Open Studios is presented by Charter Communications. Additional support is generously provided by Schlafly Beer, River City Professionals, ALIVE Magazine, FrontDoor STL LLC, Grand Center, Inc., KDHX 88.1, The Royale, and Trek Bicycle Store of St. Louis.

Details: CAMSTL 2009 City-Wide Open Studios Preview Party - Tuesday, July 21 5:30-9:30 p.m.

Open Studios Saturday and Sunday, July 25-26 10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.

“I’m Gonna Walk Again” Josh Crow (Benton Park West)

EXHIBITIONS

Contemporary Indian Art Show Presented by Cahokia Mounds State Historic Site Saturday & Sunday, July 11-12, from 9 am to 5 pm.

More Info: Cahokia Mounds Museum Society (CMMS) (618) 344-7316 / www.cahokiamounds.org “Sean Frye” Art Saint Louis presents a solo exhibit of recent paintings

by St. Louis artist Sean Frye, on view at KitchenK restaurant July 11-September 11, 2009. To learn more about their off-site exhibits, visit www.artstlouis.org/offsiteartists. html. KitchenK is located at 1000 Washington Avenue, downtown St. Louis. 314/241-9900. Free & open to the public. Check restaurant website for hours: www.kitchen-k. com “Minding The Gap” presented by Art Saint Louis ASL Main Gallery July 20-August 27, 2009. The show opens with a FREE RECEPTION on Saturday, July 18, from 6 to 8 p.m. Art Saint Louis, 555 Washington Avenue, #150, St. Louis, MO 63101 More Info: www.artstlouis.org / (314) 241-4810 “Edge on...”

Photography by Sally B. Simpson & Mark Tiedemann Marbles Gallery Opening Reception: Friday, July 17 from 6-9 p.m.

Meet the artists, enjoy a glass of wine. Free and open to the public. Exhibition runs through July 31, 2009. Open before yoga classes.

Sally B. Simpson photographs under natural lighting situ-

ations, with very little or no use of camera filters to capture the beauty and simplicity of everyday subjects using a variety of camera types, including the medium format 120 film toy camera, the Holga.

Multitalented writer, musician and photographer, Mark Tiedemann, premiers his black and white art photography inspired by the work of Ansel Adams, Edward Weston, and other members of the f64 Group. During his commercial photography career as a proficient black and white lab technician, he has continuously recorded and printed but never shown his own work.

Marbles Gallery, 1905 Park Ave, St. Louis, MO 63104 More Info: www.marblesyoga.com / (314) 791-6466 Citygarden Presented by the Gateway Foundation Opening July 1, Citygarden is a stunning new addition to the civic and artistic fabric of St. Louis and the nation.

Framed by office towers and in the shadow of the Gateway Arch, Citygarden is an oasis in the heart of a major American city’s downtown: a vibrant and serene blending of lush plantings and internationally renowned sculpture with delights of water, stone, architecture and design.

Surrounded by no fences or gates, and with no admission fee, Citygarden is completely open and accessible to the public 365 days a year. There is nothing quite like it in the downtown of any American city.

Citygarden features two dozen works of modern and contemporary sculpture by some of the world’s most highly regarded artists. They include Fernand Leger, Mark di Suvero, Keith Haring, Martin Puryear, Jim Dine, Tony Smith, and Aristide Maillol.

RETRACTION: Cowboy Mouth graphic on June 2009 - graphic on Page 19 issue 5 did not contain pertinent production information: Should have included in the graphic ‘Produced through special arrangement with Samuel French, Inc.’ We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you.

20

4:00 p.m.. Refer to the map provided by CAMSTL (www.camstl.org OR openstudiosonline.org) for details on the tours participating artists assigned dates.

More Info: www.gateway-foundation.org / (314) 982-8680 Citygarden, 801 Market Street, St. Louis, MO 63101 TOM BIANCHI: “Memories of Fire Island” PHD Gallery Exhibition runs from June 27, 2009 through August 15, 2009.

Before gay marriage, before “don’t ask-don’t tell,” before AIDS, and even before Stonewall... there was Fire Island.

Part Garden of Eden, part Sodom and Gomorah, this tiny little barrier to Long Island, just south of the Hamptons, was as much a state of mind as it was a destination.

Synonymous with freedom to gays around the word, Fire Island was the ultimate mecca where gays and lesbians who often lived their lives in secret, were free to be who they were, among their own, living and playing without judgment or scorn.

Internationally renowned photographer, Tom Bianchi, captured that era on film. Using a Polaroid SX-70, Tom Bianchi, with nine books to his credit, shot more than 6,000 images of his summers in the Pines. The images, captured by a camera that produced results in a few seconds, long before the days of digital exposures, have no special lighting, no darkroom effects and no editing.

two cool artists.

Opening the same night is Homage to the Old Masters.

Seventeen resident artists at Gateway Gallery have each interpreted an old master painting from the St Louis Art Museum collection with their own unique vision. The artworks will be scattered throughout the gallery next to a reference image of each corresponding original master.

This exhibit runs through August 22.

More Info: (314) 503-3880/ www.gatewaygalleryonline.com Gateway Gallery, 7921 Forsyth Blvd, Clayton, MO 63105 HAVE AN VISUAL ART EVENT? CONTACT US AT W W W. M Y S PA C E . C O M / S T L O U I S S I N N E R

The sincerity and integrity of the images are faithfully reproduced as limited edition archival prints each signed and numbered by the artist. Over 36 images from Memories of Fire Island will be on view at PHDGallery from June 27 through August 15, 2009, with an opening reception at 7 pm Saturday, June 27. The artist will attend and will sign copies of his books.

More info at : http://phdstl.com/tom_bianchi.html PH:(314)664-6644 PHD Gallery, 2300 Cherokee Street.

Greg Kluempers and Meg Matson - “Opening Night at Gateway Gallery” Gateway Gallery Photographer Greg Kluempers and painter Meg Matson express their world in two very different ways. Please join them at the opening reception for some hot art by

myspace.com/stlouissinner

by Jane Linders A middle aged mom from the Midwest leaves it all behind to attend an anarchic desert art party. wanted to attend the Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert Ime’dforfrom five years, but every August work or family obligations prevented going. For a middle-aged Midwestern mother trapped in suburbia with her two teenage daughters, there were plenty of obstacles standing between me and Burningman. Could I talk my husband into going? Could I withstand the rigors of camping in the desert heat and the wild dust storms?

As the saying goes, trying to explain Burning Man to someone who has never been is a bit like trying to explain what a part icular color looks like to a blind person. Attracting some 40,000 attendees each year to a dry lake bed more than 100 miles from the nearest shopping mall, Burning Man is an anarchic art party for freewheeling nonconformists, intellectuals, artists and ravers from around the world. It might best be described as the combination of Halloween, New Years Eve, Mardi Gras and The Apocalypse all rolled into one weeklong party.

The collection of campsites and works of art created by Burning Man participants is called Black Rock City and at its center a huge statue of a man, built of wood and neon is set ablaze on Saturday night.

Black Rock City is reborn each year as revelers rebuild the community from scratch, but for that one week it becomes the seventh-largest town in Nevada, with radio stations, libraries, a roller rink and a post office. Hundreds of campsites - many of which are created around oddball themes- partially surround the wooden statue, known as The Man. My favorite theme camp was called Barbie Death Camp and Wine Bistro, which consisted of thousands of Barbie dolls scattered across the desert in various stages of torture. Visitors were offered an award-winning Napa Valley chardonnay from pink paper Barbie cups.

Burning Man was challenging, spiritual, exhausting and invigorating---and it was just what I needed.

JUST ASK MALICE

photo by Dr Steve - models: Lux

Dear Miz Malice, I have a huge problem! My two best friends hate each other and both are incredibly jealous of the time I spend with the other one. Most of the problem lies in the fact that the only thing they have in common is ME. Why can the three of us not be good friends without the jealousy? I am so torn up about this, and want to remain friends with both of them. I don’t want to have to choose.

–Torn Between Two Besties Dear Torn, It’s often true that with women, THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER FRIEND BEFORE ME and it’s virtually impossible for three women who have little in common to establish a peaceful friendship. The best advice I can offer is to explain to each one that your friendship with one has nothing to do with your friendship with the other. Tell them each the reasons WHY their friendship is important to you. At best, restrict their contact with each other, if they can’t get along for your sake, then arrange to see each of them separately. There is no easy answer to this one. Sorry I wasn’t much help, Your pal, Malice Dear Miz Malice, I’ve recently begun dating this really, really nice guy who’s fun to be around, enjoys spending money on me, and even my friends like him. The problem: he has this really strange funky smell about him-like a cross between rotten fruit and monkey ass. Would it help if I bought him some manly cologne? Thanks for any help you can offer – Missy Dear Missy, Pheremones play an important role in sexual attraction - if you can’t tolerate the man’s natural odor, then this guy is just not for you. No amount of cologne can mask this issue.

I’m not even going to ask how you know what monkey ass smells like. Sometimes a medical condition or medications a person takes can cause them to smell. This is a sticky question to ask somebody and he may, understandably, become offended.

I think maybe you should turn your sights and nose elsewhere. Somebody, somewhere may find his natural scent quite appealing, just not YOU. Your pal, Malice

Random Thoughts From The World According To Malice

☛☛ Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. ☛☛ Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

☛☛ If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before. ☛☛ My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

☛☛ Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. ☛☛ It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

☛☛ For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. ☛☛ If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. ☛☛ Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

☛☛ A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

22

myspace.com/stlouissinner

Dr Dick's

Sex Therapy; What Is It and Who Needs It? Pt II OF COURSE there are plenty of individuals and many couples who haven’t waited till the last minute to seek help. These people want to be proactive about their concerns. Some people simply need some clear unambiguous information about human sexuality. A surprising number of people are really trying to piece together their sexual lives, but are hampered by misconceptions and misinformation.

Sometimes a traumatic event will motivate a person to address arising sexual or intimacy issues. A disease process, job loss or an accident can fundamentally alter the power dynamic of the relationship, which often requires a rethinking of the entire relationship.

Perhaps an individual will come to a new realization about him/her sexual-self. This will surely impact the life of the individual; but if that person is in a relationship, the relationship is impacted too. Say a person discovers, or is finally able to acknowledge his/her bisexuality, or that he’s gay, or she’s a lesbian. Or one discovers, or is finally able to acknowledge a fetish — he’s a crossdresser or she’s into another kink. These things can precipitate a visit to my practice. Most people in this sort of predicament aren’t sure how to talk about this new discovery.

And if they are in a relationship, they are often clueless on how to discuss this with their partner or significant other.

Some couples don’t fret when the sex goes out of their relationship. Other couples are devastated when the sexual connection expires.

What does one do when one partner still has

sexual needs, but the other no longer does? Often times there are unexplored options that will hold the relationship together, but will address the disparity in sexual interest and desire.

In this case, I can help the couple make compromises without losing their moral compass. Some couples navigate this with ease, others not so much. There are ways to preserve what’s sacred about a primary relationship, while contemplating opening the relationship to include others. I can help a couple establish guidelines and ground rules for making the necessary adjustments.

Sometimes the relationship is really wonderful and fun. The couple really loves each other, but they’ve noticed their sex life together is pretty boring. I’m often approached to simply help a couple spice things up. In this instance, my work is sheer joy. Mostly I just give the couple permission to experiment and have fun.

You’ve probably noticed that a good portion of the work that I do as a therapist is giving permission. That may not sound like therapy at all, but when you consider that our sex-negative culture is so full of prohibitions; permission giving is often the front line of sexual rehabilitation. Most of the permissions I give are for an individual to educate him or herself about his/her body and his/her sexual response cycle.

And personal exploration, such as masturbation, is the very best means to that education.

Our need to reacquaint and reeducate ourselves about our bodies and our sexual response cycle is a life-long process. There is

Sex Advice

Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS Sex Therapist, Sexual Health Counselor and Sex Advice Columnist www.drdicksexadvice.com

always something new to explore. For example; as we age and our bodies change we must keep up with those changes or we can become frustrated and disoriented. Older people, menopausal women and andropausal men, take longer to build up a head of sexual steam, so to speak. If we’re not attuned to the changes in our body and our sexual response cycle, we can easily miss the important cues our body is sending us to slow down and enjoy the sensuality.

Of course, I could go on and on. And maybe, I’ll pick up this thread again later. Right now I want to leave you with what I have distilled through years of thought about the role sexuality plays in our life.

I believe that sex is like food. We can enjoy it alone, or with others. We can be abstemious,

or gluttonous. We can nosh or nibble; dine or devour. And we can be certain there will be both times of feast and famine.

Sex is like food. It can nourish and sustain us, or it can make us sick. We can consume all the available bounty, or restrict our diet. It can be both bacchanal and sacrament. It can completely satisfy, or leave us devastatingly empty.

Sex is like food. We can use it to express our highest aspirations, or allow it to rob us of our soul. We can give it as a gift, or use it as a weapon. It can fill our senses or simply be an exercise of our mind.

One thing is for sure, whether it is purely physical or transcendentally spiritual, no one can live without food…or sex.

This, I Shamelessly Tell You The One Where I Disprove The Myth of The Sexless Asian Male and My Personal List for lovers

by Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid

S

weetie and I (new sweetie – I decided that after the mutual ‘I love yous’ we were more than mistress and slave, we were sweeties) went to see this Seattle International Film Festival movie, one of the rare, good ones in a very snooty festival. We laughed more than most folks, him being Japanese and the film and characters all being Japanese. We talked later about the rather unpleasant (and smug) laughter that came at one point in the film, when an older Japanese man told his friends he was good in bed. Having dated a slew of Asian guys, purely because they were good in bed, I strongly disagree with the crowd.

My current lover is amazing at, shall we say, oral pleasure, and has driven me nearly to tears in the throes of ecstasy on more than one occasion.

Sexless, I hardly think so.

Still, in the heavily laden, ultra-macho, (mostly white macho, thank you very much) US, the Asian male has typically been seen as a sexless drone. Thus the low status given to male, Asian

actors in movies, on news shows and pretty much all through American society. When was the last time you saw an Asian male in the lead, being the ‘sexy one’, and not the ‘nigger role’, or the role that used to be given to African-Americans before the civil rights movement put the kibosh on that mess? Think of how most people viewed ‘Sulu’ (the only Asian male) on the original “Star Trek”, or outside of being the one kicking ass, how people think of Bruce Lee. Yes, he was a stud in the martial arts arena, but how often was he given a love scene?

Actually, there are only two films I’ve ever scene where the Asian, male character was given not only a love scene, but boasted some of the kinkiest, sexiest sex I’ve ever witnessed on a movie screen. Just in case you want to rent them and see what I mean, check out Lies, a Korean film that deals with an evolving S/M/relationship between an older, married Korean man and his younger, female lover; and The Lover, a very

model: Krystal twisted tale based on a novel by a woman about an older man obsessed with a very, very young girl.

Tre kinky, tre sexy, and not at all showing Asian men as boring, sexless or nerdy. Hallelujah, I say.

We we’re laying on the bed, his head on my naked breast, listening to my heart slow down after my sixth orgasm. The next day I had a scratchy throat from the sounds I made when he did things with his tongue that I never dreamed were possible outside of my dreams. When he kissed me the first time, after months of chaste, and said “I respect your wishes, mistress”, my toes curled, I swear, they curled in my shoes.

When he’s not with me, I curl up and ache, like a drug addict needing heroin. He’s not huge

“No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes” - The World According to Malice

‘down there’, but the last time we were together, I screamed so loud, and squeezed my eyes shut so hard, I’m sure even angels wept for joy (my neighbors still look at me in disbelief, especially if I’m with him outside of my apartment, say, coming from buying groceries). So, when the other folks laughed at the Japanese man in the film saying he was good in bed, I leaned closer to my own Japanese slave/lover and felt my nether regions grow wet, anticipating what would be yet another night of eyes rolling into the back of my head sex.

This, I shamelessly tell you.

23

5,0 a li 00 mi f

for

ted

tim

re

e. L

og

em

on

and

em

typ

e in

be

pro

mo

rs

cod

hip

e: N

30P

s

4Y

73