St Louis Sinner issue 12

Issue 12 Jan 2010

UNMASKED! The Sinful Looks of

Quincy Laine Eyeworks Photography

2009

Year in Review

Fear & Publishing

News, Rants & Politics

Resolutions & Institutions

4. Weapons of Mass Distraction

Pundits across the country began introducing American TV watchers to countless psycho-babbling nitwits days before the New Year’s birth, and then went on for another week after the previous year’s death. Their messages varied. Some said to take baby steps with each New Year’s resolution; others said to be bold, to dive head first. None mentioned the history of the day, or discussed the root of our obsession with it. And none in TV-Land asked, nor cared, as we’ve became a nation of nodders, not questioners. Of course, that’s nothing new for mankind. When Rome declared the original Babylonian New Year celebration of the first new moon after the first day of spring to be inaccurate, after 1500 years, how many stood against the mighty imperialist whore? Not enough, evidently. And surely no one said shit when Caesar declared naming their nights of meaningless debauchery and days of extreme remorse after his two-faced mythical God of Beginnings, Janus, who could see into the past and future. If Caesar had ever communicated with Janus, he would have left the original holiday alone. The Babylonians threw a party for eleven days and nights, not one. Imagine how much money the booze industry and police state could have made every year if Caesar had just kept his mouth shut...

We can argue semantics till the next year’s end, but I’m sure that in Caesar’s era few Romans set goals to cut back on the booze, or throw their smokes in the recycling bin, or to tighten their asses up a bit to fit in a pair of old jeans. I’m sure even fewer cut up their credit cards and swore to get out of debt. Interesting enough, these have been the average American’s top resolutions for decades. That’s because we Americans have become sheep in the field who only herd when some jackass on TV shouts and waves his hands in the air to some scary clips on the national news. When this happens, though, you better get out the way, because these fucking animals are capable of almost anything when frightened – even smoking bans and unjust wars.

It’s easy to run with the herd to the gym, or a local AA meeting, or attempt to drastically change one’s habits others have deemed offensive. All that’s easy to attempt, and makes a lot of sheep feel better when they try. And it even makes them fit in, which is what a lot of this babble is about to begin with. To honestly evaluate your own life free of pundit or peer pressure is the wolf in the field that many of us run from. That’s because few of us like to look in the mirror and see our own faults, and even fewer are able to work on those faults in a reasonable fashion without snapping in some destructive manner. Mediocre and trivial resolutions are the way in, and out when you fail. “Well, at least you tried...” is what most of the sheep around you will baaa, as you will them.

So what does any of my psycho-babble about resolutions have to do with independent publishing? Not much really, except that an independent publisher not only burdens the pressure of his or her personal demons, he or she also battles another class of wolves and creatures every year to remain remotely sane, and somewhat successful. And if you don’t think those kind of battles can send you over the edge or to the Loony Bin, you don’t know much about indy publishing!

For the truly independent publisher, he or she must make a commitment each year to be more aggressive with sales – to be cut-throat – and to improve customer service with existing sales – kiss ass a bit better. For some indy publishers, the wolves you battle for those crucial sales are not always a living competitor, but demons inside one’s self – and those bastards are the toughest to defeat. Another annual resolution is to recommit yourself to your publication, and to its foundation, the core principles that led you to indy publishing. To recommit yourself to core principals sounds like an easy task, but it’s a battle fought against real-life creatures, the dangerous ones who enter disguised in a sheep’s wool, offering help and guidance while they covertly work against you. Why? Who knows, life is full of crazy fuckers, and envious ones too.

These are a few of the tough issues to work on every year for any indy publisher, and there’s no real answer other than to be aware of the field that you run and play in. If not, you will die, or cease to exist, if that sits better with you. The drinking, smoking, drugs, overdraft fees, bills, relationships, extra fat around the ass, and other trivial bullshit, is the easy resolutions to struggle with. The difference between the two is that when you fail to quit smoking and drinking and shed a few pounds, the sheep will only baaa, “Well, at least you tried...” When you fail at your dreams the wolves and creatures shed their disguise and ridicule you to no end. And if you think that can’t send the most sane to institutions, please jump this fence, head first!

Beyond the typical anal resolutions of the year, the indy publisher must deal with a budget that has little room for error. So when the blue lights flash behind you, and the sound of Johnny Flat-Foot creeps to your window, you better have your shit together, meaning license and insurance. “Yes, Sir” with a capital “S” better be your response, regardless of what infraction you may – or may not – have committed. Showing your ass to Johnny Law will get you nowhere, except for thrown to the ground and dragged off to the slammer – a time and place an indy publisher can’t afford. Your only option is to ask the reason for the stop, in a polite manner, then hope – or pray if your some religious nut – that you only get a warning for a taillight that’s out. If he’s on a mission of meeting quotas, your fucked from the get-go. So now you smile, and say, “Thank you, Sir. May I have another?”

Only a fool or a sheep lets this violation of freedom end here. You never have a chance against Johnny on his turf, he’s got a gang of boys and gals down the road waiting any lone call of disobedience or disrespect – and some are ready to bash heads, even if their New Year’s resolution was to stop. Your only chance is on a fair playing field, the court room – fair meaning, fairer than Johnny and his gang beating the living shit out of you and later testifying that you were high on the meth they planted or simply some lone nut that needs to be institutionalized. At least in the court room it’s one on one, unless you have a witness or two of your own sitting beside you, as I did six months ago when I was pulled over.

When I was pulled that morning on the way to take the wife to work, we both thought the lights were being flashed for me to move off the road so the officer could pass and race off to fight crime or to protect and serve. That wasn’t the case. He explained that I had ran the stop sign, and had went out of order. This left the wife and I puzzled, as the intersection was a three-way, and not the kind I like to hear of.

We didn’t even know where he had came from, like some super cop with supernatural speed on my ass in the blink of an eye, out of nowhere. He instructed that the easiest way for me to handle the infraction was to pay it online before the court date. I smiled, like sheep do, and said, sure thing... all the while I sat and thought, I’ll see you in court fucker.

When I returned from taking the wife to work the same cop was at the same intersection writing another ticket. I could hear the sheep behind the wheel baaa as I passed. After living in the area for six months, I wondered what the Hell was really going on. At the first court appearance I explained to the judge that I had not run the sign, nor rolled through it as first accused, and that my wife would be a witness if this shakedown really need be dragged out. “You’re either innocent or guilty”, he said, adding that if I pled guilty he could send me to a defensive driving course for a $150 bucks and that I could later return to court with that certificate, pay the $45 court cost, and not receive any points on my license. Or that I could take it to trial, where I would probably loose. He also let me know that if I lost that trial, that I could request an appeal with a jury of my peers. I explained that I could not plead guilty over innocents, not even for a cheaper way out.

“Then let’s play, fucker...” was the thoughts that rolled out of my head, but as usual they got mistranslated by my mouth. So I smiled and took the paperwork. “Next!”

The wife and I entered the court room six months later with the original ticket, which stated I had been pulled over at 9:16 am, and a MapQuest print out that showed it only takes about 6 minutes to get her to work from our house. I was hardly in a rush.

My first point was to argue that I was one-third of the way there and still had 14 minutes to spare when pulled. If I had been in running late, the cop might have had a car chase on his hands. My second argument was my driving record, which states that I had not been ticketed once in the past seven years, not even after traveling across the country three times.

After entering the court room, ticketing officer present in front row, the prosecuting attorney asked the court if I were present amongst the other dozen or so anarchists in attendance. After answering she asked that I step outside, to discuss the charge, meaning plea. Looking at her file she explained that the city was prepared to take my case to court, but graciously offered to change my ticket to a noise violation, which would not place any points on my license. The cost of the new ticket would be $200, about the same as the first offer after a defensive driving course. I laughed, with proper translation this time, and explained that I was prepared to take my case in front of the judge. “Just so you know the officer who wrote you the citation is present, and he’s in here all the time and really good on the stand...” was the rather attractive blonde’s response. “Isn’t that a bit suspicious, ‘here all the time’, and he’s never wrong?” I asked. She sat back, and said she couldn’t really say that. So I explained that in my hand I held a file with the original ticket, MapQuest directions with time, and a squeaky clean driving record. My bluff was that I had the officer’s ticket history from the police department in order to prove that the officer was serving a quota that morning, not justice. From my last experience in the courtroom, I thought they wanted to play, so I went for the Hail Terri.

“Well, how about we dismiss the case and you pay the $45 court cost?” was her next words, after saying, “Man, your tough...” I had this game wrapped up, right where I wanted it. I then asked how long I might be there if I pushed this into overtime, she answered hours, meaning the wife would miss the last three hours of work, more than the $45. I was forced to ask the wife her move, to pay the cost or go all the way... needless to say, we got the hell out of there, with the wool our on backs blood-free. Dismissed is what I was looking for, as I do for justice when I enter a court room. We all make mistakes, but when we don’t, we can’t be herded into the notion of nodding, paying the fine and moving along. When we do, we have lost more than money, our dignity and a piece of the American Way – what little is left of it. And if you don’t think the thought of that would send our forefathers into a frenzy or a madhouse, you don’t know much about freedom.

And that’s just another tale of fear and publishing in two cities...

Tickets & Tirades

2. Fear and Publishing 3. Jihad and Holy War

6. Piper’s Pit 7. Freedom Tower Rising 8. Cowards Essay 9. Freedom to the Slave

Music, Film, Art & Entertainment 10. Sinner Party at the Zoo 11. Bible Belt Sinners Unmasked 12. Bible Belt Sinners poster 14. Grease, Ink and Chrome 15. Sonic Suffrage 16. Voodoo House Party

18. N3G Erotic Art Show 19. The Sinful Art of Quincy Laine 20. Art Potion

Religion, Sex, & Other Sinner Shit 17. Our Sinful Community 21. Skin Deep with Stu 22. This I Shamelessly Tell You 23. Campfire Tales

Publisher: Chuck Foster Layout: Terri Daniels & Danielle Correll Cover Art : Eyeworks Photography Writers, Ranters, Opinionists & Other All-Out Freaks: Mark Taylor-Canfield Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid Paul Blow Buddha Lucifer Saab Lofton Malice Henry Nicolle Danielle Correll Stu Kimberly Peters Jeff Diggs Fish Kristen Ivy Matthew Gorman

The Sinner is a group of contributing writers. Their opinions, rants and ideas do not necessarily reflect the views of The Sinner itself. The Sinner encourages contributions from its readers but retains the right to edit material due to content or length of submission.

For advertising or submission information, contact us at chuck@theseattlesinner.com.

Submission deadline is the 25th of every month.

JIHAD AND HOLY WAR

Essay by Henry Nicolle

Look around you. How many of the men, women, children, cops, dogs and other animated flesh are your mortal enemies? Think about that question for a moment.

What does your mind throw up when the words “mortal” and “enemy” impinge upon your consciousness? Nothing?

You are not thinking. You are not conditioned to think. You are not prepared to think. You are not capable of rational thought.

Do I exaggerate? No. Your brain is functioning, your thoughts are churning, but are you THINKING? No. If you were thinking, you would hold the classic 1984 “Double-Think”, two contradictory concepts each true in your own mind. That, my fellow moron, is NOT thinking.

“Mortal enemy” means that you or your adversary must contest continuance in this mortal world, that only one may live, that one must die or perhaps both shall die. In a slightly deeper sense, “mortal enemy” insists that one must die in order for the other to live, because the truth of only one is permitted.

Perhaps you will argue that you reject the concept because you have absolutely NO desire or even ability to contest another’s presence in this world. You are completely assured that there is certainly room for all of us and for our beliefs and expressions in this “civilized” society.

I can listen to your inner harmony - “Nobody hates me. Everybody loves me. I hate no one.” Well, to be honest, we can leave out the part that “Everybody loves me.” That presumption only holds true for a few deluded individuals.

You will probably not survive the first moments of a Jihad or Holy War both of which loom quite near within our periphery. I will explain in

part, in preview, here. You will have to begin learning how to actually think, if you are to actualize the remaining view through this peering into snailguts and drawing on gassy augury. Put on your thinking cap and draw and tie the earflap strings tightly around your chin. We are going where, in this last moment, you fear to go. Yes, it will be scary.

Are you a Christian? A Muslim?

A “not invented here” spiritualist?

Let us presume for the purpose of this alarum, that you are simply a quiet and considerate person, mostly non-flesh-eating and free of unnecessary alimentary ingestions, but you can enjoy a small glass of wine with a weekend pizza or a beer with your barbeque on an occasional commemorative weekend.

Guess what. Somebody will want you dead. Gone. Out of their world view. They will be adamant. No argument will suffice or sway their deliberate and righteous indignation at your existence.

None except your ability to destroy them before you are merely a digit in a number among the footnotes of new history.

Hmmm . . . it seems there is a problem here. If someone’s belief requires that you become “one of them” in fact as well as in appearance, or you die or serve as a permanent servant until you die anyway, do you have an “adversary” or a “mortal enemy”? That is not the problem though. The problem is that if you are alive and do not submit to serve, or if you serve with reluctant disposition, you will die immediately or

when they become tired of your demeanor.

So, the bottom line, is will you defend your right to life, liberty and self-determination, or will you demean your existence in submission and servitude, depending upon the

moment to moment mercy and equanimity of your masters for your life and comfort?

O.K. I suppose you tire of theoretical games which can never actually happen to you or any of us in America as we know it. If I have just repeated your inner thoughts, then Hail and Farewell, you are dead, your body still moves and twitches. Your future fades with each moment, unless your side wins the battle of the killing fields. I suppose if that is the outcome, you will be accurate in thinking that you have no enemies and that you hate no one. We will all be bloody mud between your toes and that will be the end, until the next time.

Tomorrow will bring our test of hate and preparedness. We will repeat the hate of Christians who can tolerate no heathen nor any Christian but of their own sect and of only their own sect. We will suffer the test of Muslim versus infidel and Muslim versus outcast and heretic. We have begun already, with socialist communitarian versus Constitutionalist and followers of our Declaration’s command that Government is created to preserve individual rights, not to create a universal welfare state under a violent mandate for individual submission and service to the Government and Society...

Let the fun begin.

written by Mark Taylor-Canfield

2009 Year in Review

A

s we look back on the year 2009, many of us will remember a time when the economy collapsed, the progressive movement became disenchanted with President Barack Obama’s policies, and corporate socialism became the rule, funded by the taxpayers’ money.

After numerous government bailouts were given to corporate banks, insurance companies and General Motors, the average person’s wages continued to drop when compared with inflation and labor unions lost more of their power to organize and mobilize workers.

Anyone calling for universal healthcare in the US were called “socialists” by right-wing politicians and media commentators while the government continued to buy shares in major corporations, exercising a major move towards socialism for the wealthy.

These dichotomies were exacerbated by media spun stories emphasizing and promoting the increasing political gap between the right and the left. The vehement disapproval of President Barack Obama on the part of conservatives smacked of prejudice and racism. Fanatical right-wing pundits like Glenn Beck stoked the fire of resentment by accusing the President of being anti-American and a friend to terrorists – a series of outrageous lies which were repeated ad nauseam by Republicans and “tea party” participants all across the country.

In the midst of all this angst came the revelation that the pharmaceutical companies and profit-driven medical insurance interests completely owned the nature of debate on healthcare in the US. Members of Congress, and some say the President himself, have been bought and paid for by these powerful

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lobbies in Washington, DC., to the detriment of the entire nation’s population. In effect, the conservative capitalists have once again succeeded in producing very powerful weapons of mass distraction to confuse the public and control their politicians.

Many of the criticisms of US society stem from the fact that the country lags far behind other developed nations of the world when it comes to basic statistics like infant mortality rates, the general health of the population, personal income, health and welfare.

It has been said by some European critics that we in the United States of America should expect more from our government and our society considering the huge profits currently being produced by the likes of Microsoft, Exxon and other major multinational corporations that are supposedly based in the US. Other nations with less GNP (Gross National Product) live much healthier and happier lives, it seems, because basic needs are covered by a generous social safety net.

In the US, however, the struggle to manifest a national healthcare system has been going on for the last century. Each time proposals have been introduced, conservatives and corporate interests have been able to derail the efforts, largely through control of the political dialogue and utilizing their ownership of the media. In the 1930s William Randolph Hearst attacked President Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s social and economic programs through his newspapers in the same way that Rupert Murdoch’s Fox Network has lambasted President Barack Obama. It is not at all comforting to realize that this has been going on for many generations.

The venture profit capitalists are winning again, proving that although other economic models like tyrannical Communism may have been discredited by now, the unbridled greeddriven profit motive without regulation does not make for a humanistic society.

Let’s face it, George Bush left the country in an economic crises with two unwinnable wars and a disabling national debt that has put our nation’s fate in the hands of the Chinese banks and businessmen who are financing that debt.

I doubt there will be any import embargos placed upon goods produced by prison labor and transported on ships controlled by the Chinese government. The CEOs at Walmart would never approve of that kind of “government intervention” into their business profits.

Bush’s legacy might make Herbert Hoover proud – increased unemployment, more homeless families, as

well as a decrease in wages and economic power for the middle class. Gone are the well-paid union factory jobs which were long ago outsourced to other nations through the auspices of the NAFTA, GATT and WTO agreements which were promoted by both corporate wings of the one party electoral system – Demopublicans and Republicrats.

As the year 2009 dawned many pundits on the politically progressive side of the spectrum began to lose faith in the Obama administration. Even though I had warned many of my political friends that he was not a “peace candidate” on par with the likes of Eugene McCarthy or Robert Kennedy or even Dennis Kucinich, those pundits seemed shocked when Obama announced that he was sending 30,000 more US troops to Afghanistan. Many of the anti-war marchers became immediately disillusioned and took to the streets in cities all across the US to oppose the new “surge”.

Most of these same marchers had voted for presidential candidate Barack Obama in the hopes that he would end both wars, despite his own statements to the contrary.

Many of them had taken to the streets in support of Obama’s election to celebrate their new sense of hope and inspiration. Now

they publicly oppose his policies in Iraq and Afghanistan and his acceptance of the Nobel Peace Prize is seen by many on both the left and right as a farce.

The national security state apparatus is in full functioning mode in spite of the supposed political change in Washington, DC. Despite some reforms, Obama and Democrats in Congress have repeatedly voted to continue Bush administration policies involving the so-called “War on Terror”. Constitutionally guaranteed rights to privacy and personal expression are still being threatened on a daily basis. To many progressives, Obama has turned out to be a betrayal of their hopes and dreams. Most still hold out hope for a better tomorrow, but the writing is now on the wall and his base of supporters now realize that their most cherished dreams of reformation have been shattered into tiny pieces by the influence of big money and the military industrial covert intelligence complex that President Dwight Eisenhower and Harry Truman warned us about.

The wars in Afghanistan and Iraq continue to bankrupt the nation while proving that undeclared war in the guise of military “police actions” around the globe are still a major part of US foreign policy. The war

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on Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos evidently taught us nothing. Our past interventions in the Middle East, Asia and Central and South America should have been a warning about involvement in controversial military operations in remote areas of the world.

The amount of money going into these wars could be used to repair our own nation’s infrastructure, provide universal healthcare and vastly improve educational opportunities for people living in the US. Instead, it appears that the only interests who are benefiting are oil companies, mercenaries and defense contractors.

Meanwhile, thousands of veterans of both wars are returning home to face economic hardship, as well as psychological and physical disabilities. As usual, there is a significant percentage of veterans who are homeless with no means of economic or moral support. Luckily, groups like Iraq Veterans Against the War and Veterans For Peace have been reaching out to both returning soldiers and those who refuse to serve in those wars. The legacy of war is seldom ever glorious, despite the militant propaganda, especially considering the fact that neither Afghanistan or Iraq ever attacked the US. So as we embark on our journey into the year 2010 we must ask ourselves these very pertinent questions: Are we better off today than we were one year ago? Is the world safer? Do you feel more hopeful about the future?

I will leave it to the reader to provide your own answer to these questions. My only aim is to inspire some introspection on the part of those of us who continually question the party line, whether it be political pressure from the right or from the left. Let’s hope that there are at least a few of us who have not yet been tempted to drink the Kool-Aid and give in to the illusions created for us by the powers that be inside the Matrix.

Independent thought is now more vital than ever in the face of so many political disappointments. Of course, we have all been “fooled again”, but then that is the very nature of contemporary politics. It is a game that is

rigged from the very beginning for the benefit of a few powerful interests who control the politicians and the economy.

If there is any chance for reform, it must come from the politically independent because the one party corporate system does not allow for any significant form of dissent from among their ranks. Witness the current buying off of our Congressional representatives by the major banks, insurance firms, pharmaceutical and medical corporations and it becomes obvious what we are up against.

These are not “right” or “left” issues – these are issues that affect the residents of the United States of America regardless of political affiliation. The usual “divide and conquer” tactics of the corporate political parties and the media should be seen as irrelevant at this point. These terms are used only to divide us.

It’s time for the people to see that the Emperor wears no clothes and he is being lead down a path that only increases the power of the wealthy over the wishes of the average person in our society.

What we need is a another “Fair Deal” where everyone can benefit – the corporate interests and the workers and consumers. I have the greatest respect for President Barack Obama’s intelligence and competency, but I worry that he is being controlled by the same forces that created the presidency of George W. Bush. Instead of another FDR, I fear we may have been saddled with just another corporate controlled moderate like Bill Clinton.

I hope I am wrong...

Whatever the future brings, it has become obvious that we are indeed mired in an outmoded, undemocratic political system that benefits only the wealthiest and most politically powerful interests in society.

Reform is needed but how? The answer seems difficult to find under the present circumstances, yet each one of us must do what we can to bring about that change we need so much in our own community, our own home and our own workplace. I guess we all need to work for positive change in our own lives until our political representatives get a clue and actually begin to work for the people of this country, instead of representing only their major campaign contributors.

I ’ m G o n n a W h u p Yo ’ A s s ! written by Saab Lofton

“If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?”

--Bill Maher, from the documentary, Religulous Let me make this as clear as I can: If 2012 comes and goes; if that much vaunted Mayan Calendar runs out and nothing cataclysmic happens, I swear by all that is holy and sacred... ...I will personally hunt down each and every last motherfucker who made such a big deal about how the end of the world was supposedly just around the corner... ...and beat the fucking shit out of them.

I’m soooo NOT joking here. Prison? Hell, I’m a black man in AmeriKKKa (note the triple K); the statistics dictate I’m bound for the penitentiary anyway.

Let’s examine Bill Maher’s quote more closely: Does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on Earth to believe that the world is going to come to an end? The answer is, yes it does (which is why the Rapture-obsessed Religious Right can suck my dick bone dry).

Therefore, since “improving life on Earth” is the religion of every left-wing activist and (legit) Star Trek fan, I’m talking Jihad, here; nothing less than a holy war between leftist activists/Trekkies and ig-nant-ass motherfuckers who hide from the world (and their responsibilities as citizens) in concrete bunkers filled with canned goods and bottled water.

Why do I love Star Trek so much?

Because it answers Eleanor Roosevelt’s question: “When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent Human misery rather than avenge it?”

Nothing in life pisses me off more than a waste of potential – and I shudder to think of all the effort that’s been wasted trying to survive The Apocalypse instead of PREVENTING it from happening in the first place.

Anyone who thinks I’m naive; that the Human race can’t achieve the kind of utopia Gene Roddenberry depicted needs to have the word HYPOCRITE branded (a tattoo wouldn’t be painful enough) onto their foreheads. Why? You can’t have it both ways: You can’t tell so-called welfare cheats to believe in themselves and pull their Horatio Alger bootstraps while simultaneously telling me that I can’t steer Humanity towards a utopian future.

It’s suspiciously convenient for the rich/powerful (right-wing) that the poor/oppressed (left-wing) are always told to get spirit-breaking day jobs because supposedly nothing is impossible if you work hard enough ... ... but somehow, no matter how hard I work (and I NEVER take a day off, which is why I’m still single at 40), a bloated, vampiric militaryindustrial complex will always exist in some form.

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I watch Rocky movies too – and the lesson THIS niggah derived from them is that there’s ZERO difference between an opponent in a boxing ring and an elitist living in a MTV Cribs/MC Hammer mansion based on the sales of nuclear missiles (which Obama, our colossally overrated commander-in-chief, has yet to dismantle even though his ass got a Nobel Peace Prize for simply TALKING about disarmament). If anything, the New Agers psychotically fixated on some ancient apocalyptic prophesy need to be concerned about something that can actually destroy the world for real: A nuclear holocaust.

But hey, don’t take my word for it! Ask the good people of Hiroshima/ Nagasaki, Japan – and keep in mind the nukes we the people dropped in 1945 were NOTHING compared to their modern, more powerful counterparts. As Carl Sagan put it so well: “There are now more than 50,000 nuclear weapons, more than 13,000 megatons of yield, deployed in the arsenals of the United States and the Soviet Union – enough to obliterate a million Hiroshimas.”

After 2012, some retarded imbecile will no doubt claim the Mayan Calendar was just a false alarm, but the NEXT planetary alignment or cosmic shift or whatever-the-fuck will be The Big One. Well, the only “big one” they’re going to have to worry about is my foot being broken off in their ass. The time, money and energy y’all waste preparing for whateverthe-fuck needs to be donated to the peace movement. Beyond Nuclear is a most righteous organization whose mission is as close to cinematic superheroics as real life gets, and they’re in desperate need of funds, so help them out. Be a part of the solution, NOT part of the problem.

I graduated from high school in 1987 and during that fateful summer, my grandfather (a lieutenant colonel who fought the Nazis in World War II) heavily pressured me to join the military. I ALMOST did, but instead, I saw Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and the rest is history. Snide, bitchy critics (spoiled white suburbanites, mainly) get off on claiming the film “sucks”, but their gratuitous cynicism and anal retentive nitpicking doesn’t change the fact that Christopher Reeve (he insisted on co-writing the script, God rest his soul) is singularly responsible for me being a leftwinger today.

If one man – if one anti-war movie – can make that much of a difference, imagine how much more could be done if you people cared and contributed?

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Freedom Tower Rising

By Jeff Diggs

E

ight years later and rising from the ashes of three destroyed skyscrapers, the new World Trade Center building in lower Manhattan has begun reclaiming the New York skyline. The Port Authority, owner of the property, is making slow progress on the $3.1 billion 1 World Trade building which was formerly known as the "Freedom Tower". Located at the northwest corner of the WTC site, installation of steel columns continues reaching skyward into the New York skyline as concrete is being poured to form the tower’s base.

The skyscraper is being built according to a revised design released in June 2005. The architect for the new 1 World Trade Center is David Childs of Skidmore, Owings & Merrill.

David Childs was born in 1941 in Princeton, New Jersey and has several completed projects around the world and many in New York City. The new design retains essential elements of the original plan with a soaring 1776 feet into the sky and an illuminated mast evoking the Statue of Liberty's torch. However, the tower’s cubic base will be smaller and set back further from West Street to protect the building against future terrorist attacks.

The total height of 1776 ft. places the 1 World Trade Center building well short of a world height record, but the number 1776 references the year for American Independence. The 1 World Trade Center building will become the tallest building in the United States.

Rising from its square base, which will be constructed of impermeable concrete and steel, the redesigned Freedom Tower will taper into eight tall isosceles triangles forming a perfect octagon at its center. An observation deck will be located 1362 feet above ground and there will be a square glass parapet at 1368 feet which was the heights of the original Twin Towers. From these, an illuminated spire containing a television antenna will rise to a final height of 1776 feet. The building will feature advanced life safety systems that exceed the city building code, structural redundancy, extra-strong fireproofing, and biological and chemical filters in the air supply system. There will also be extra-wide pressurized staircases, low-level emergency lighting,

and interconnected redundant exits. Finally, emergency communication cables will facilitate enhanced emergency response and there will be a dedicated staircase for use by firefighters and "areas of refuge" on every floor.

The Freedom Tower will use the latest technologies to maximize efficiency and minimize waste and pollution in both its construction and eventual operation. It is being built according to World Trade Center Sustainable Design Guidelines and will, at a minimum, conform to the U.S. Green Building Council’s Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) standard. According to architectural firm Skidmore, Owings and Merrill, specific achievements of the Freedom Tower will include use of renewable energy for at least 20 percent of the building’s energy needs; state-of-the-art energy conservation technology to reduce energy demand; better interior “daylighting” and views of the outside for occupants due to ultra-clear glass technology; improved indoor air quality due to outside-air ventilation and use of building materials without toxic materials such as volatile organic compounds (VOCs); water conservation due to reuse of rainwater for building cooling and irrigation; reduction of vehicular traffic via proximity to public transportation and provision of facilities for bicycle commuters; waste reduction through recycling of construction debris and use of recycled-content building materials; natural resource protection via use of sustainably harvested wood; and cleaner air in the community due to use of ultra-low-sulfur diesel fuels and particulate filters on construction vehicles, for which the EPA has already given Silverstein Properties, the tower’s developer a 2004 Environmental Quality Award.

Other key elements include 2.6 million square feet of office space, tenant amenity spaces, worldclass restaurants, below-grade retail, and access to the PATH, subway, and World Financial Center. According to the Port Authority schedule, the tower is expected to open in the fourth quarter of 2013.

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~~ Cowards Essay ~~

by Henry Nicolle

I

hope this essay radically offends everyone I may soon bounce from curb to curb. have not already managed to aggravate beyond The remainder of us are not so generous with the toleration. I am offended beyond exhaustion by the Property, Liberty and Rights of other people, but suicide total absence of concern positions itself across by my fellow Americans every path we elect to for our degradation. I am tread. Our illumination is appalled by the American darkened by generations compatriot unaware of of quiet servitude and the outrage we should be meek submission to expressing to our so-called the ambitions of a few "public servants" for their committed to violent incontinence. I am crushed coercion. under the personal burden We are not free, of comprehension that we none of us. We cannot will not speak the truth be free because we to ourselves or to our will not be free. Fear representatives of their and loneliness are our treachery and defiance of left and right feet. They our authority. seek the secure path of My use of prior experience and the "incontinence" is no fumble company of failure. The of language, I mean it footprints of those slaves in every sense that your who have journeyed search engine, dictionary before us or perhaps our or thesaurus offers. We are weaker than piss, lower own footprints of personal experience begging us to than shit and deeper in the lowest depravity possible repeat the pain, sacrifice and humiliation of submission. than mankind can fall.

We will not seize a moment of brave abandonment Most of us are so ignorant of all things outside to regain our Liberty and Soul. We are cowards. our individual "job" and "family" that we should not be Our Liberty, were we to choose Liberty, would considered rational or competent to make any decision be the proof, rebuke and rejection of the lives of not encompassed by the limits of family concern or the our predecessors, our loved and cherished ones. instructions given us by our employers. The remainder Our Liberty would be the humiliation, proof of their of us, no matter how aware, informed or motivated, cowardice and their love for the ambitious over their are cowards of the first degree. We can relate with love and care for themselves and the welfare of their comfort and ease and a fair amount of accuracy in a families. confused venue, every hair, wart and pimple on the Look in the mirror. When you ask the one in the ass of what substitutes for a free people of a free and mirror, "Where are the Patriots who love Liberty more self-governing society, we can name the frauds, the than Life?" and "Who will stand to preserve selfmurderers, the cowards, bullies and incompetents of determination for ourselves and for others?", is the every community, county, state and corner of our union reply, "I have done what I could,. I voted. I wrote a of States. letter. I gave a dollar, I held a sign and therefore, I have We are confronted by our public servants' done my duty.? demands that WE, not THEY, serve. "WE ARE NOT In our hundreds of millions, those are the answers YOUR SERVANTS!", they of all by a few hundreds of shout! "Do as we tell you!" each generation. Perhaps We can educate and your reply was different. inform and communicate Cowards are not like hell to our doubled patriots of any color or world of ears and not a fashion. They are simply single ear will hear of our cowards. Self-preservation danger. can be mistaken for Our Judiciary usurp cowardliness, but that is the authority to tell us what different. A coward will run we mean when we write when there is no threat. the Law for governing.

A coward will run early to Our response is humility in avoid risk and run late only surrender, deference and when greed has surpassed submission in the meanest his concern for his unworthy of cowardly spirit. skin.

Our representatives A coward will run to be and officials defy any anywhere but the contest suggestion that our for Liberty. authoritative command may Perhaps your flesh and cloud their ambitious reach fortune are committed to and greed. So, we bow and combat for Liberty. Semper curtsey to acknowledge Fi, Patriot! A Patriot will fight.

FASHION before EASE our lowness, our noses When retreat is necessary A good Constituion Sacrificed for a Fantistick Form refreshing every fold, nook to prepare to fight anew, he and cranny of our anointed. will run and regroup for the next battle.

Half of us are committing suicide by imagined The time for cowards is at an end. It is time to get benevolence, bestowing congratulatory self- physical to deploy the tools for Liberty. righteousness upon our bowed heads. Thief's heads

“These are the times that try men's souls: The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value." Thomas Paine, The Crisis�

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Freedom To The Slave Written by Kristen Ivy

I

n my last article, I discussed the existence of paper kings, a modern nobility not based on conferred titles or land holdings, but on paper money. A fragile, inflated system based on a worldview where government and leadership is enacted on the people, rather than by them.

The American government was supposed to be representative, where the rulers worked in the interest of the people because they WERE ordinary people. Now, this group of elites enacts laws and regulations for their own benefit.

We aren't exactly serfs, but there are many ways in which our interests have been subverted to help this new nobility in their quest for greater riches and power. How bad is the situation? That all depends how far down the rabbit hole of conspiracy you are willing to go. At the deep end of the rabbit hole lie the shape-shifting lizards and the antichrist.

Without reaching these depths of unfounded conspiracy, I see several obvious abuses of power. The elites are so removed from most Americans that they don't concern themselves with our lives, or our rights.

Outrage over the Bush-era abuses has been replaced by a “yes we can!” attitude that ignores the harsh reality that the ruling elites are still oppressing the people. Did congress reform the patriot act this year? No, they renewed its unconstitutional provisions and postponed discussion until next year. The ACLU reports that over a million names are on the terrorist watch list. Executive orders of dubious constitutionality allow the government to seize transportation systems, food resources, and the media.

This becomes particularly alarming in light of reports that Obama is preparing for a possible

civil war. This comes from the Russian media, by way of the European Union Times. The American people may not think it’s possible, but Europe is increasingly convinced that our downfall is just around the corner. Professor Igor Panarin has an entire theory on how economic collapse will cause civil war and the eventual disintegration of the United States.

It may sound farfetched, ludicrous, but it is certainly a sign of the times.

If any form of collapse is around the corner, I would rather be prepared.

Haliburton subsidiaries have received millions in contracts, not just to rebuild in the middle east, but for detention camps in case the government should need to suddenly “detain” vast numbers of people. Already, plans are laid to transfer detainees from Guantanamo to a new detention center in Illinois. We looked forward to Obama closing Guantanamo, but to what purpose if the detainees are merely moved to the mainland? FEMA held exercises over the summer to prepare for a terrorist attack. Terrorism no longer just means al-Qaeda. In our post-Bush world, we have to fear not only the Muslim extremist, but also American “extremists” who disagree with the government. If only they didn't give us so much to disagree with!

Making contingency plans to detain vast numbers of American citizens, training in case of popular uprising, and holding suspects without trial – these are not the acts of leaders who consider themselves equal citizens with you and I. I'm sure many politicians are decent people, and many of them are well-intentioned. But, as a whole, they make decisions like this with the assurance that they will not be detained, their rights will not be infringed upon.

The government is part of a small group, inaccessible to the masses. This modern nobility does not provide us with true representation. Not by the people, not of the people, and definitely not for the people. But as much as we plan for, and accept the worst, we also have to hope for the best.

We stand on the threshold of a new year, in hopes for a better and freer decade than the last one. The old feudal system came to an end.

Their abuses and excesses became their downfall.. I hold out hope that this broken system can be changed, as well.

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The Sinner Party @ The Broadway Bistro Zoo

by Malice

Chuck & Terri Foster really know how to throw a party for The Sinner Family!!

Two of my favorite punk bands, The Haddonfields & The Hail Marys – PUNK LIKE IT WAS MEANT TO BE – were present, as were promises of burlesque girlies (who all canceled for various reasons, damn-it, the bait I used to get my husband out the door). But Carrie behind the bar more than made up for the lack of impressive cleavage – and you must order one of her Creamy Cum Shots, I assure you, you’ve never tasted anything like it. The Bistro Zoo is a very cool bar.

Outside there’s a huge area for volleyball and a cool stage for bands to play. On Thursday nights they feature Spaghetti Wrestling, just have a gander at the scrapbook at the bar while you’re ordering a pitcher of Broadway Boobie Brew to see what I mean.

Further entertainment was provided by the appearance of Al Swacker, there to mingle with the peeps, however, not to play on this occasion. I also made some new myspace friends to share the bar pics with, (I’ll catch you online, soon Jacque!).

The Sinner even raffled off framed and matted, autographed pics of both bands, very cool items to have hangin’ on your wall.

The earlier party of Christmas revelers, tame office workers dressed in sweaters and loafers, (taking up all the floor space with their reserved tables!) were quickly dispatched by the antics of the Haddonfields… NOW the party’s rollin’!

High energy punk delivered with panache and flare, a guitar parade with heavy overtones of Sex Pistols & Ramones. Ya gotta admit, it’s pretty cool when the members of the headlining band are front row center, Katie, Ryan & Pink were all seen rockin’ out! True Punk, No Lie… One-two-threefour!!!!

Katie of The Hail Marys was telling me that Capt. Dave

will be back in town for their NYE show @ The Way Out Club. For those of you who don’t know who the Captain IS, he was the drummer for The Trip Daddys TWICE, #5 & #8, and simultaneously in The Hail Marys. I’m excited, we haven’t seen him since last New Years for The Hail Marys…or maybe it was the year before last…it’s a tradition to spend NYE with The Hail Marys and we’re looking forward to it again.

It was a FABULOUS night spent with good friends who feel like FAMILY and plans have been made to see each other again soon. There’s no better therapy in the world than getting out to see a LIVE band, and this town has some of the BEST local entertainment I have ever seen/ heard/felt. The Hail Marys have always been one of our favorite bands, whenever I need a damn happy song, I know Katie & Co will deliver TEN of ‘em, in a row, always. Our favorite is “Cherry Ave” and it’s always cool to hear it. This band is just FUN to watch. You forget all about the shitty day at work, the rude customers, your angsty boss breathin’ down your neck, and you get swept up in the music, transported to a time outside of this place, a vacation from reality for a few hours.

I hated to call it a night, but real life intruded and work Sunday morning was an unpleasant thought… back to the grind of dealing with pennypinching, panicked procrastinators with a hangover and a severely dehydrated condition, with a smile on my face…ugh…

Until the next time, Sinners!!!

Your pal, Malice

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UNMASKED written by Chuck Foster

“It’s about time this accidentally happened!” photo by timothy towers

Rockabilly / Punk / Western Swing

B

ible Belt Sinners are a band of few words when questioned, but that doesn’t hinder them from producing some of the most swingin’ rockabilly in town. Jane Rose sits behind the wheel of this welltuned machine, belting out lyrics that shake and jive with each strum of her guitar. She’s backed by Josh on lead guitar, Johnny Boy on Stand-up bass, and Grotto on drums, the jet fuel that turns the gears and burns the rubber from the wheels of this fierce four-banger.

They’re fast, they swing, and they let it rock-n-roll like few others in town, and that’s quite the compliment in St. Louis.

Jane says the band was formed when a boy named Johnny met a girl named Jane, who made a friend called Grotto who knew this cat named Josh.

“A case of beer later it was a band...” and the rest is history. The Sinners have musical roots from all across the country with Jane being from Kentucky, Johnny from Texas, and Grotto reigning from here in Missouri.

When it comes to Josh, Jane says that he’s from parts unknown, but that he plays a mean guitar, and that’s all they need to know.

Being a sinner myself, I asked the origins of the band’s name, how it came around? Jane said they wanted to be “Bible Belt Saints but...”, leaving me hanging, but I think they made the right choice. Their musical influences stem from the likes of Woody Guthrie to Motorhead, rockabilly, and traditional

country, intersecting at one point that produces Bible Belt Sinner’s unique style.

I asked the band their take on the local St. Louis scene as so many I have met in this town thinks one doesn’t exist. Jane disagrees, saying that St. Louis has been very supportive and they appreciate it. She also says that it seems like there’s room here for a group like theirs, and if not, they’ll start playing weddings and Bar Mitzvahs and what not. Either way, they’re just having a good time. Speaking of the local scene, I asked the band their favorite local acts, not surprisingly, it’s two of the hottest bands in town, Rum Drum Ramblers and Seven Shot Screamers. They’re favorite show, however, was their first with Three Bad Jacks out of LA. On BBS’ MySpace page the band has four tracks featured, recorded live in Grotto’s basement, which was a huge surprise due to the quality of each track.

“Wrong Kind of Guy” really shakes it up and gets the foot to tappin’, but “Race With The Devil” hits the ground a-runnin’ from the first beat, tearing the stage up like a 50’s Elvis once did. Jane says the band is currently on a full-length LP to be released later this year, hopefully by the end of winter. So keep your eye out!

To find more info on the Bible Belt Sinners go to www.myspace.com/biblebeltsinners. And to catch them live, come out to The Broadway Bistro Zoo (5300 N Broadway) on Saturday, Jan. 23rd for another night of sin and debauchery!

11

10 Years Of The Greaser’s Lunchbox , Al Swacker’s rockabilly radio show at the end of the dial on your radio 88.1 KDHX, where he plays all the BEST old school and new school rockabilly, interviews our local musicians, and keeps us all informed about what haps in our town.

Loads of local entertainment: Clownvis, Devil Baby Freak Show, Everett Dean & Co, 7 Shot Screamers , & The Trip Daddys along with a bevy of beautiful burlesque dancers (the bait I used to get my man to even think about attending such a thing called Greaser’s Lunchbox just so I can unleash my inner groupie) because ALL of my boys were playin’ this event and all of my Daddys Girls were out for the orgy on the dance floor. Mindy, Lacey, Kat, Sheena…and lots of familiar faces who we’ve shared a floor with on numerous occasions in the past.

Kat & Ryan introduced me to Everett Dean, so I got to actually meet him in the flesh, as I had previously only “met” him on MySpace when I was in Memphis a few years ago.

The absolute BEST part of the night was getting to watch the burlesque dancers, Greta Garter and Miss Lola we’ve seen before, who really know how to make the art of disrobing look so appealing and fun. I made a point to pay attention so I could take some of these moves home with me. These ladies understand the importance of matching outer and under garments…12 matching pieces, and taking your time with takin’ it all off, getting undressed should BE a major production, maybe not every time, but often enough. A woman should be a beautifully wrapped package waiting to be unwrapped one layer at a time. It’s not how much you’ve got, but HOW you package it, and most of all in how you DELIVER it. I’m thinking I should corner one of these ladies to show me how to DO that…and I should invest in some ostrich feather fans. Ooooh, and to see Miss Lola doin her thing, gettin’ to get nekkid with The Daddys, shakin’ everything she’s got right there in front of them. She gets to do what most of us can only dream of doing. I must say, the guys did a remarkable job of holding onto their composure, it’s got to be hard to concentrate on what you’re doing...or on what you’re trying NOT to do when this hot little number who’s just built for sin is feelin’ the music.

14

But I’m getting ahead of myself The Daddys went on much later, not til 11:20.

Devil Baby Freak Show put on an awesome performance as usual, with Al doing his blood spurting thing, he’s quite a colorful character on the scene. There was a raffle, with sinful giveaways by The St Louis Sinner, (Chuck Foster & his Mrs were there) like big pink vibrators and certificates to Fifi’s (Dennis & his Mrs run this store, shag yo ass downtown and buy SOMETHING… it’s almost Christmas). My friend Kat won a vibrator (Everett said he posed for the mold)*** I should probably warn you now—if you’re hangin’ out with me, you’re part of the story***Mindy won some PBR socks, I got a PBR pin, Dirty Ernie was telling jokes, Clownvis was a RIOT. Mindy saw him at the Fifi’s party a while back.

It’s not often she can come out to party with us as she’s got one year old twins at home, that her man was gracious enough to keep all by himself that night…BRAVE papa), one of the djs,sthis big black guy with braids won a big pink dildo, was very brave about accepting it in front of everybody!!! Fun times.

Everett Dean is an AMAZING performer, a class act sporting a flashy orange suit, this man’s got some very smooth moves and a beautiful guitar that I have had the extreme pleasure of drooling upon. (oops, my inner groupie is getting out of hand). He’s playing A&Bs 5627 Manchester on Sat Dec 12 @ 9pm. His band is outstanding as well, a dynamic upright bass player, A gorgeous square jawed guitar player, a pretty keyboard player and a very familiar face, Kevin O’Connor (7SS, Car Bombs) on drums!!! We will go see this band again, on purpose sometime, SOON!!!

Another local celebrity, Beatle Bob was out groovin to the music. He’s a staple on the scene, at every Daddys show from Off Broadway, The Way Out Club, I remember seeing him at the 10 Year Anniversary Trip Daddys Show on DVD...he’s there, right up front, and so much fun to dance with. He’s got some moves too.

GO, BEATLE BOB! GO, GO, GO!!!

bass player so it was 3 ½ Shot Screamers with Clownvis stepping up. Wow-that boy can play the upright bass!! You should see him slappin’ those strings! I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t know all the words to 7SS songs, but I love their sound.

Mindy has been a long time fan of 7SS, we all have the bandanas, but she’s got all their cds, posters, pins, a truly devoted Screamer. They came onstage after much fanfare and the next thing ya know, they’re each playing a DIFFERENT Trip Daddys tune… then Deano slings his guitar behind his head at Mike’s urging, doin’ it Daddy Style…OOOh Deano, play me some more Daddys (probably NOT what he wanted to

but when we do, we thoroughly enjoy getting out to UNLEASH OUR INNER GROUPIE. We are all hopelessly devoted to Our Daddys and Our Screamers. If we were all single,we’d be cougars for sure. It’s fun to indulge in mad silly crushes on the boys in the band...and THESE boys are like none other you’ll ever find anywhere else, in any other town, in any other neighborhood (I know, I’ve LOOKED) : Mike & Deano from 7SS are the BOMB (we’re like 16 year old girls screamin for The Beatles), Everett Dean is a newcomer onto our scene-yay new eye candy!!, The Trip Daddys’-oooh we could not be more pleased with the current lineup, the newest member Tracey is, as one Daddys Girls put it, every cougar’s wet dream, of course, Craig Daddy is better known as The Impossible Dream,I guess you could say I’ve been half in love with him for half a dozen years, (but ONLY half because I just don’t have that kinda TIME anymore) and even though Everybody’s Favorite Greaser with his devilish grin is firmly taken by the lovely Mrs Em, we drool from a respectable distance...and what makes him even more loveable-he’s such a gentleman that he didn’t even LOOK at the naked chickie right there in front of him-that’s impressive;). May we respectfully say that we are sooo jealous, Mrs Em, that you get to take Your Daddy home.

hear)…I’ve got a big old silly crush on this boy with his crazy wild hair, tightly packed... (again, nevermind) I got close enough to him to lick his guitar strings... I did give it some serious thought, but decided that it would probably hurt, (gotz to keep that inner groupie on a shorter leash).

All in all, this was the BEST time we’ve had all year! A SOLD OUT SHOW, standing room only, the crowd was responsive and ready to groove, all the elements were there for a fantastic vibe-an orgy on the dance floor, beautiful women feeling the music, gorgeous guys making the music, and the chance to cut loose and UNLEASH OUR INNER GROUPIE. It’s going to be very hard getting back to REAL LIFE, back to the everyday grind of the workday, back to catering to wishy washy women who don’t know what the hell they want (I sell lingerie and part dresses in a department store), back to cleaning, cooking,washing, ironing, and all that stuff that I’ll bet even Miss Lola and Greta have to do (and i’d be willing to bet that they look cute while they’re doing it)...I’ve learned a lot from watching these ladies....

I am so looking forward to the next time My Girls & Me can UNLEASH OUR INNER GROUPIE, if for only one night;) (yes, we have very tolerant hubbies who know we’re not about to do anything stupid *** our days of shagging guitar players in the parking lot are long over*** but it’s still fun to pretend)

It’s been years since I’ve seen 7 Shot Screamers play out-I was afraid it was going to be a few years more before I saw them THIS time, they were missing their

Photo: Kimberly Peters

My girl Sheena knows all the words to their songs and was singin them into my ear, so it was really cool to get my own 7SS tutorial…LOL..that’ll get me to pay attention! –way cool songs! I’ll sing along next time!!

It’s not often that we can all get together, busy lives with family obligations, work, conflicting schedules,

Always & Forever A Daddys Girl and a Devoted Screamer Malice You Should Have SEEN what I HEARD!!!

myspace.com/stlouissinner

Sonic Suffrage hosted by

Wind and Sail

One Thursday last month, with a little too much time on our hands, we decided to head out to a new joint in Dog Town called Felix’s for their weekly show, Sonic Suffrage.

The cats down at Felix’s put this fundraiser together every Thursday to raise a little cash for Alive STL, a domestic abuse hotline. And let me add that they put on a first-rate show for such a good cause.

Having missed part of the first set, we settled in to the tail end of Wind & Sail, an indie band from Greenville, Illinois. This fourpiece was a mesh of indie old and new, like taking a bit of Death Cab and Modest Mouse and mixing it with Bob Dylan, all influences of the band. Just catching the last few song raised the spirits on such a mundane Thursday night.

Kristen Foht

Kristen Foht, a folk singer originally from St. Louis who currently resides in Arizona, took the stage second. This gal can play the six-string, and writes some pretty graphic lyrics that would make the boys in Tenacious D turn their hands and sing along. Don’t be fooled by the mellowness of her songs on MySpace, she jams hard at times and works “Fuck” into the lyrics of a few songs for the right crowd.

Last up was local rock band, Kind Fire.

This was the band’s second show having formed in August of 2009. This was hardly evident as this four-piece rocked, and rocked solid! The band put on a flawless

set and the vocals of Shawn Telkamp were powerful but never overbearing. Catch these guys in an interview on a new radio station, The Westplex, during the Morning Show on Tuesday January 26th and again at The Point’s Live Local Battle For Pointfest at Pops on January 31st. For tickets go to Myspace (www.myspace.com/kindfire) or Facebook band page (kindfire).

And last, be sure to check out Felix’s (6335 Clayton Avenue) on Thursday nights for some solid music and a great cause!

Together, we can make a difference, so let’s do it!

Kind Fire

15

Voodoo House Party at Lemp photos & text by Chuck Foster

I

enjoy a lot of a different sounds, but every once in a while I need a dose of something a bit heavier, something that rattles the ground and shakes the mind.

When that happens, a Voodoo Queen Production is a sure fix.

We just happen to be in luck on January 9th when I found a flier posted by Shadow Thieves for a show at the Lemp Brew house Studios, which just happened to include past-Sinner featured punk band, Say Uncle.

When the stars and planets line-up like this, you don’t waste time, you move – quick! And that we did.

Opening this Little Voodoo “House Party” was Shadow Thieves.

Self-defined as Alternative and Indie, these three cats lay down a pretty solid SAENCE set of just that, a mix of each wrapped in their own distinct style. You can check them out again at the Brew house Studios again on February 13th.

Hitting the stage second was Saence. Although this band is more of a staple VooDoo Production being Metal/ Rock, this hard-hittin’ threesome put on a mind-blowing acoustic set for the house that included unique covers

by Tool and The Doors. Not only did their set lift the crowd to a higher level of musical consciousness, they seemed to elevate The Shadow Thieves a slightly sloshed patron to an out-of-body experience, crawling to their feet. Quickly named, Sexy, by lead singer Dean Preacher, the fan never left their side. Expect to see more of these guys in The Sinner again.

Third up for the night was Say Uncle. Let me say it again, “...past-Sinner featured punk band.” Need I say more? Check them out or die a miserable death!

Last up was Parramon, a sold metal act out of the UK. These Brits know their metal, complete with fog machine and behind the head riffs. And not only did they put on a kick-ass show, they played a metal version of “Beat It” by Michael Jackson, and threw their mike and stage to a few audience members!

Talk about a fix served well. Log on to www.myspace.com/vqmanagement for more shows.

Say Uncle

Parramon

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Parramon

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HELLO, ST. LOUIS!... AND WELCOME TO THE FOURTH EPISODE OF

OUR SINFUL COMMUNITY!

Good to see you again, folks! Talk about some rough holiday travels. I took last month off to go see my 98-year-old mother in Oklahoma, and to be honest, I didn’t know if I’d make it back in one piece, but I did. So let me start off by saying, hi, mom... I promised her I would say that. And let me say to you, St. Louis, we’re back for another year and somehow I’m still your host, Chet Chesterson! My job tonight is to introduce some of our local entrepreneurs with a bit of sinful flare to them. So all you in the audience please stand up and give yourselves a round of applause for supporting them, and all you folks out there watching on the boob-tube, give yourself a pat on the back, too. You all deserve it!

We’re Taking Over Atomic Cowboy and The Fox Hole March 13th

Celebrating 1 Year in Misery

with Live Music, Art, Burlesque and Sinful Performances

Keep your eyes on these sites for details as they develop www.myspace.com/stlouissinner www.facebook.com/saintlouissinner

The folks at The Sinner wanted to make this first episode of the year a real treat for all you out there who continue to support The Sinner and your sinful community... and, let me tell you, boy have they! Our guest tonight not only makes unique jewelry, she’s also a belly-dancer! How many of you out there like Belly Dancing? Yeah, me too! Just kidding, honey... got to keep the misses happy, and I’m sure all you married guys out there in the audience know what I’m talking about. Right fellows? And do you fellows out there know the best way to keep your gal happy, surprise her with a little jewelry. So let’s get this belly shakin’... everyone please stand up and give Ami Amore’ a big sinful welcome!

So, how you doing tonight, Ami? And by the way, let me say that your outfit is simply amazing, WOW! Thanks, Chet, and thanks for inviting me. And I’m doing great tonight...

You certainly are. Let’s start with your belly dancing. Honestly, I’m a bit speechless... but I’ve seen you perform a few months ago down at Koken Art factory, and the way you shake and twist, just blows my mind. How did you get into it?

I’ve been belly dancing for over 10 years now. I started as an artist and did paintings and photography for a few years before I chose belly dance as my career path. I never thought I would choose belly dance to make a living off of, but it has helped me get through some rough times in my life and has always been there for me and is really my best friend. I started Exotic Rhythms in late 2006 because I wanted all women to feel sexy, empowered, and have a fun escape from reality while getting exercise and having a good time. I started fire dancing in 2008 and I used to be petrified of fire since my head caught on fire as a preteen. Now I am addicted and want to do crazy fire, seeing how much fire I can possibly dance with without blowing up! And Exotic Rhythms Belly dance has kind of taken off as one of the few eclectic fusion belly dance groups in St. Louis. We’re definitely not your mama’s belly dance group! We all perform fire and dance to the likes of Tool, Delirium and other oddities.

WOW! I haven’t seen you perform fire, so I’m really paying attention now... how about you out there in the audience, you want to see Ami dance with fire? Alright then, what about it Ami? Maybe next time Chet. But you can come out and catch me performing the 2nd Wednesday of every month at Urban Cabaret or Subversion, both at the Way Out club on Jefferson...

Put that on my calendar, Jane. Everyone give Jane a round of applause! You have to love Jane, without her me and this show would be lost. Since I can’t get you to perform fire due to insurance laws and other legality issues, let’s talk about this new jewelry line that you have. If I read this right, it’s made out of bone... do you mean, real bones, like from humans and animals?

Come on, Chet, human bones? Your crazy. It was only natural that I continue to feed my need to create. Very recently, I developed my own jewelry line called Amorticious, inspired by one of my favorite gothic belly dancers. Right now I am channelling a morbid, steam-punk vibe for most pieces. I use recycled bits n’ pieces whenever possible, along with old clock gears, antique skeleton keys, bric-a-brac and various animal bones. Most pieces are one of a kind.

Look for upcoming pieces featured in Skeleton Krewe’s Art show “Alice” April 16, 2010...

You know, I see here that you have an interesting tale to share with us tonight, something to do with snakes and your hair catching on fire... either one sounds crazy to me, but snakes freak me out. So what happened?

Spring 2009 was a fun time for me. At Cirque Du Erotica Duex I danced with several live snakes varying in length from 2 - 8 feet. At one point I had 3 snakes on me at one time while I danced. Good thing I like snakes so much! Then there was the time I singed my hair at Beat Me in St. Louis...

Oh My Gosh! Hair and fire certainly don’t mix well. I have to get out and see this show. So once again, where can our folks in the audience see you this month?

Once again, Chet, you can catch me performing the 2nd Wednesday of every month at Urban Cabaret or Subversion, both at the Way Out club on Jefferson. And I also will be performing in Outrageous productions “Harajuku” January 16th at the Stable on Cherokee, as well as at TBC Venue in Pevely on the 23rd of January. And viewers can find my jewelry at www.amorticious. etsy.com or www.myspace. com/exoticrhythmsbellydance or they can contact me at Amorticious@gmail.com.

Thanks so much for coming out tonight, Ami!, and you folks out there be sure to check this gal out! Until next month, St. Louis... I’m Chet Chesterson, and this has been Our Sinful Community. Please be sure to get out there and support it!

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myspace.com/stlouissinner

written by Chuck Foster

in the future, something like our sinful Rosa Parks.

Quincy’s assertive nature was unmistakable when we met, and quite interesting. When I asked her about the glamour associated with modeling, she said “Eh, it is very exciting” and that sometimes “you are put into situations that are public and you can’t be shy at all.” Shy is an adjective that never comes to mind when thinking of Quincy Lane. Elaborating a bit father, she says that modeling is also about creating a character with each set, that you are no longer, “Laine”, that you become a “fierce lion on the hunt or a girl that has been ripped apart from her dreams.”

But who is Quincy Laine? She describes herself as a creative persona or the “alter ego” of an anonymous person, who employed this identity to incorporate the numerous aspects of her talents into every shoot. She began modeling as an infant in South Carolina, but at the age of eleven went through a surgery that stunted her growth. This issue discouraged Quincy for years, until she went onto college at Webster University. It was there, while creating the make-up for a fellow student, that the photographer took an interest in her. And as she says, “well... the rest is history.”

Quincy takes her modeling very seriously.

When it comes to creating a shoot, her goal is to breed the usual with the unusual. In her

own words, she takes “something beautiful or high-fashion and creates it into something bizarre.” Picking the right photographer is definitely a crucial aspect of modeling.

Quincy knows that anyone can simply pick up a camera and take photos, so she looks for photographers with a good eye for angles and one with proper lighting. She even looks for a bit of eccentricity in a photographer, believing the more unusual person will bear more creative ideas. She speaks highly of Brian Demint of Eyeworks, Sarah Cayson or Zairia’s Photography, Charles Barnes, and Gina Simons, but admits there are so many more good local photographers too.

I began this piece mentioning that I had met Quincy while “bouncing around, drink in one hand and too often a stranger’s in my other” and that this scenario is “quite typical for this scene.” In this scene, sometimes shit gets crazy or weird. I asked Quincy if the same formula could be applied to modeling, or at least in her experience. She spoke of a guerilla shoot gone wrong at an abandon hospital, meaning an illegal venture, trespassing.

The photographer and his crew had warned Quincy that it was risky, but the chance of the great shoot for a model is like a junkie chasing the White Dragon, so she discarded the warning. Shortly after entering one of the crew noticed a small mob outside the hospital standing at the entrance. With the chance for

photo: Clara Bow, Eyeworks Photography Hair and Makeup: Quincy Laine

photo: Goth Couture, Zairia’s Photography Hair: Quincy Laine - Make-up: Tyler Cross

can recall only a few details of this night a few months ago. In some dark closet of my mind I remember walking through the second entrance of Atomic Cowboy on Manchester for Conspiracy, not the back entrance like the month prior when Conspiracy featured GENXX. I remember bouncing around, drink in one hand, and too often a stranger’s in my other – although that is quite typical for this scene.

The only other detail to stand out this night was when Quincy Laine introduced herself to me while speaking with DJ Al Swacker. In case the front cover didn’t say it to you, I will: Miss Laine is quite the firecracker. She’s devilishly entertaining, a bit aggressive, and certainly tenacious.

As a publication known for featuring local “artists” every month, not just half-naked girls, featuring a model was somewhat uncharted territory for us. Our standard formula for putting a model on the front cover is to feature one of their favorite photographers, hence the “artist”. In this case, Quincy explained that she was an artist, creating her own makeup, and at times, clothing for shoots. She presented a strong argument. I questioned that I had perhaps put “art” in a box, out of ignorance, not prejudice. If ignorance is bliss, then discovery is very underrated. Looking at this new issue, perhaps Quincy Laine will later be credited with The Sinner including models as featured artists among the other mediums

y raph otog aine h P ria’s uincy L , Zai Q Betty akeup: d a o: B ir and M t o h p Ha

police intervention very high, she said that her and the crew walked out to explain what they we’re doing there. That’s when shit got weird. In the darkness one of the mob thought the camera was a gun, so he began to shout, “Put your hands in the air! Get on the ground!

Is that a gun? You’re in a world of shit!”

Luckily for the crew, Quincy isn’t very shy, nor intimidated. She soothed the mob with her sweet demeanor, and by explaining that they were students and didn’t know a permit was required.

Quincy admits that modeling can be quite exciting, and weird, but that for her it’s a great way to escape. She says it’s like playing dress up when you were little. Her best advice is to never be shy, to let loose, and to know that the weirder you can position your body the better the angles will be for the picture, that it’s all about interesting angles. She warns to never shoot with just anyone, to find out about them first and to see who they have worked with, and to make sure they are safe. And that’s some very wise words from a pro in the local modeling scene.

To find more shots of Quincy go to www. myspace.com/quincy_laine, or stop in the good-old Galleria for a hair cut and color.

Be forewarned, though, she is quite the firecracker!

Photo: Red, Zairia’s Photography Hair and Makeup

I

Quincy Laine

photo: Goth Couture, Zairia’s Photography Hair: Quincy Laine - Make-up: Tyler Cross

The Sinful Looks of

A good model knows how to use their face, their body, and their emotions.

It is art, so create something unusual.

hy grap hoto works P s rk e & Ey yewo st= E cy Laine u d r a n ui St ggy keup: Q o: Zi a phot ir and M Ha

phy togra s Pho y Laine n o im c ina S Quin

G : ace, keup tish L r and Ma i a H

o: Fe Phot

GET YOUR KNICKERS IN A TWIST For the last two years this event has topped all others as far as a specific art event. This show is generally a single night event. However, due to demand this event will take place over two evenings. If you haven’t figured out which show I am talking about.... Naughti Gras is the one. This event takes place at Koken Art Factory (2500 Ohio Avenue). Naughti Gras features not only the incredible works of artists in our region but also there is live performance art, live music, and this year some new goodies.... The Naughti Market. So get out your Naughti knickers, get $5 together and go out on the town for this delicious event. View information below and hope to see you there, trust me, you won’t regret it!

FEBRUARY 5th, 2010

View More Information about Naughti Gras on the Special Naughti Gras page in this issue of the Saint Louis Sinner.

7PM-1AM

FEBRUARY 6th, 2010 7PM-1AM

EXPOSING THE TERRITORY Thurs, January 7th, 2010 through February 5th, 2010 Photography by Jennifer Roberts Hartford Coffee House, 3974 Hartford Street More Info: www.flashlightphotographyonline.com Raymond Yeager: The Janus Series with Christina Yocca The Edwardsville Art Center Opening Friday, January 15th, 7-9pm Exhibition through February 26th, 2010 More Info: www.edwardsvilleartcenter.org 310 Hillsboro Avenue Edwardsville, IL 62025-1728 (618) 655-0337 IT’S GETTING LIGHT Christopher Gustave & Julie Malone Opening Reception Friday, January 15th 6-10pm Hoffman Lachance Contemporary 2713 Sutton Ave More Info: www. hoffmanlachancefineart.com Loop Winter Ice Carnival Saturday, January 16th, 2010 6100-6600 Delmar in The Loop – FREE

2500 Ohio Ave, St. Louis 63104 www.kokenartfactory.com

The Hope for the Holidays Gala was a huge success thanks to the hard work of so many. This event was packed to the gills at the Moto Museum to celebrate and raise money for abused and abandoned animals rescued

by Stray Rescue of St. Louis. Randy Grim is one of those people that you just want to get to know. He is incredibly passionate about his work in dealing with these animals.

Most of the animals rescued are from humans abusing them. Some of the stories I heard on December 5th shook me to the bone. The worst was the story about a dog that had battery acid literally poured on the animal’s eyes. I simply shook my head and my jaw dropped as I could not even imagine the horror that animal faced. “This is a crisis that people cannot fathom on a normal day to day, we see this everyday.” Randy explained. “To me it is all worth it, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else....”

A RT E V E N T S

The Stray Rescue of St. Louis also celebrated those who have stepped up to help in the rescue efforts, including a Fire Department in North St. Louis City. They rec’d the Heroes of the Year award for their amazing efforts, the rescue of a dog stuck on the second floor of an abandoned building that Randy and his rescue crew could not get to for almost three days.

Don’t expect help if you call 9-1-1 to rescue an animal.

They are not going to come out!

He stalked the Fire Department at lunch on the third day and pleaded for help. The Fire Department was eager to assist and had the dog out in a matter of minutes. These wonderful men rec’d awards and work by Loretta Swit.

Speaking of this lovely lady, Loretta Swit was a pleasure to speak with as well. She talked about the efforts of the Stray Rescue, her involvement, and her own pets that are rescued animals. She also has a play coming up at Pasadena Playhouse, “Cactus Flower”. The play opens this month! Check it out.

The Loop on Delmar in St. Louis is proud to bring you the 5th Annual Loop Ice Carnival. The STL Hoop Club will be performing at 1 and 3pm near the 609 Club off Delmar on January 16. You may also catch them spinning our hoops throughout the event between performances giving tutorials and demonstrations.

Bring your camera – pose as ice polar bear or ice penguin, Loop Trolley Car tour, Mime, Synchronized Hoop Performances by the STL Hoop Club, Stilt Walker, Fire Performers, Penguins walking and posing for pictures, Ice-Breaker with Sledgehammer, Mime, Juggler, S’mores Roast, Cosmonauts-on-Ice vodka tasting on Moonrise Rooftop Terrace Bar – check the view!

The MoYo synchronized yo-yo demonstration team at Eclipse Restaurant.

For more information (314) 727-8000 www.VisitTheLoop.com OLD MEDIA/ OLD NEWS The Luminary Center for the Arts Opening Reception - January 30th, 2010 6:00-9:00pm. Exhibition until March 27th, 2010 Old Media/Old News proposes the artist as an alternative documentarian who engages, ingests, reimagines, or combats contemporary news sources and the mode of knowledge they presuppose.

Positioning the six artists included as harbingers as well as combatants of the disposability and passivity we feel toward the contemporary media climate, Old Media/Old News is a document of the content stream made static and news invested in as art.

More Info: www.theluminaryarts.com

The Stray Rescue of St. Louis is expanding but they still need help as even their expansion is a financial woe.

They can always utilize volunteerism as well as donations.

For More Info: www.strayrescue.org

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myspace.com/stlouissinner

Skin Deep with Stu Photography by LB Photography (LBfoto1@yahoo.com)

L

et me start by Saying that the purpose of this monthly column is to offer information and a personal view on matters involving body piercing and modification and is in no way meant to put myself above any other artist in the industry. Secondly, if you have a horror story and choose to share it with us, DO NOT give the name of the artist involved as I will just omit it anyway. There are many artists in the St. Louis and surrounding areas that deserve nothing but the utmost respect from myself and supporters of our shared profession. If you have a question about piercing/modification, a story, or just a desire to better understand the culture and would like that answered, please send them to: stumodifies@yahoo.com.

Hi.. I have a friend who wants to get her 2 yr old daughter’s ears pierced. I am 19 and have lots of piercing already and most were done in tattoo shops but a few in my ears were done in like the piercing hut type places. I started when I was about 15 and the ones I didn’t get in a shop mostly all healed but a few didn’t like the ones in the tops of my ear, they had to be done over in a shop. I don’t really know what she should do... I was wondering if you could tell me some more about it.

– Julie Well, Julie, first let me say thanks for giving me an awesome topic to write about this month. The issue of Shop versus Pagoda is certainly a major one in the modification community and, while it is no secret that I am a firm believer that piercing guns are often not an effective or even sanitary method of piercing the body, I will do my best to provide only the information needed to make an educated decision as it is your friend’s right to decide for her child. However, I do suggest that she takes the time to search herself for the reason why she desires for her child to have pierced ears and who she is really making the decision for.

No one is in the position to judge or chose for her or her daughter and she must make the decision that best works for them. Often in our American society we will pass judgments on others for things we may feel are incorrect or immoral based on personal belief structures that we create for our own piece of mind and individuality. Oddly enough the same people that may believe parents who pierce their children under the age of 18 to be wrong or immoral are the same people subjecting their children to painful dentistry work or worse to obtain the same result which would be a child’s acceptance into a centralized culture of fashion.

Okay, now that I have successfully been side tracked, on to the real question at hand. WHAT METHOD SHOULD BE USED TO PIERCE A CHILD OR INFANT? Here is the deal…

Piercing guns can be done “Tandem”, meaning both ears may be pierced at the same time. The process is generally pretty quick and is less terrifying for the parent, but there is a problem: piercing guns are often not sterile and the technique in which they work is often not conducive to the piercing’s ability to heal naturally.

Basically the gun takes a stud with one semi-sharp end and quickly slams it through the ear. Now the word quick is a wonderful word to most clients fresh off the street but the reality is that this causes blood vessels to burst and heavy irritation in the area being pierced and surrounding tissue. In cartilage rich areas, like the tops of the ears, the blunt force will cause heavy damage and can actually shatter the cartilage itself. Often the child’s head must be forced still by the parent or another practitioner making the experience extremely confusing and traumatizing for the child.

Needle procedures on the other hand take longer to achieve, and they often can only be performed one at a time and most certainly appear scarier to the parent, but in my opinion they heal better (always!). They are actually less painful and are less frightening to the child because there is no loud KLUNK/POP when the jewelry passes and the head often does not need to be held as the clamp will control the ear instead of the gun being place in about the right spot while the child’s head is being forced still.

Why are needles less painful? Simple…needles are not only razor sharp but they actually only generate a hole about 10% the size of the needle itself, the rest of the tissue is simply stretched around it as it passes through. So going by that, it’s choosing between forcing a finishing nail or a small safety pin through your kids ear.(DON’T EVER DO EITHER OF THOSE THINGS BY THE WAY!…NOT EVER!).

Okay so now that you understand the methods a tiny bit more, let’s talk practitioner and material.

As far as shops go, most of the pediatric piercing, so to speak, that takes place in shops is done for friends and friends of friends and a lot of shop owners straight up refuse even that. I think mostly it comes down to the amount of liability involved and due to the fact that tattoo shops are already heavily persecuted because…well... we are the devil, haha. Anyway, all joking aside, try the shop route first and if that doesn’t work, then try your luck with the gun, I guess, but choose your practitioner wisely. Don’t just walk in pay and leave. The child is worth it! Take your time choosing, many times the “professionals” (term is being used loosely) working in pagodas are just kids off the street no more trained than the ones making the fries at McDonald’s. So be smart and look around.

Lastly what type of material is being used? Gold, Nickel, and low grade steal have all been shown to have negative effects on the skins ability to heal. For me, I suggest surgical/implant grade steal or the most commonly used alternative PTFE (polytetrafluoroethylene). Most Pagodas that I know of are unfortunately only equipped with lower grade stuff so my suggestion would be to find gun compatible surgical steel starter studs on the internet and then maybe offer a shop some money to autoclave them for you. Avoid studs with gems as the heat of the autoclave may break up the glue holding the gem in place. Another huge factor to consider is whether or not they are using re-usable or disposable guns. Re-usable guns are often not very sterile and are not autoclaved rather wiped. I would make sure that they are using disposable only and ask them to open the package in front of you. If they can’t provide you with all of the necessary means to control the risk of infection and spreading of disease turn around and walk out. It’s not worth it.

Try the shop route first. I really suggest against going to any pagoda, but if you have to at least you can now be armed with the info needed to ensure your child’s safety to the best of your ability. Hopefully this will set your friend, and anyone else considering piercing their children’s ears, on the right path.

All questions will be answered by email or by a request for you to call me directly and may be in the next issue of the St. Louis Sinner! Thanks for reading! Stu (Myspace.com/StuModifies - Facbook.com/StuModifies) Self Inflicted Studios (Myspace.com/sistl) 1328 Washington Ave in St. Louis - (314)-621-4660

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This, I Shamelessly Tell You

by Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid

It’s all about the intent, an answer to one of those chatline questions and what I liked and didn’t like about 2009

(c) 2009 Seattle Next Door Model: Mikano

I

don’t like that there are folks (of a lighter skin tone than mine, okay, white folks), arming themselves in the name of ‘patriotism’, believing that some major disaster is coming, because we have a Black president in office.

I do like that it isn’t snowing like hell’s afire this year, so I can finish what shopping I do in stores (I do most of mine by catalogue and at the farmer’s markets and little vintage stores on Capitol HIll) without feeling like I’m in a 1930s movie about a great struggle by some nameless character. I don’t like the trend away from kindness, polite exchange and talking in full

22

sentences instead of ‘text speak’.

I’m still old-fashioned enough to write actual letters on actual paper and mail them by hand.

Ah well, enough of the downside of the year that just passed. It’s a brand new one, the metal tiger year, according to my astrologer sweetie/lifepartner/ slave. Onward.

We were having our usual ‘check in’ after a recent scene, which involved him/her pleasing me orally to the tune of high number of orgasms and I was told that yes, he/she intended to always make sure my pleasure was up in the high numbers.

That made me think of that stupid chatline commercial (which one? does it matter, they’re all stupid) that has some bimbo asking ‘what makes a good lover?’, which made me and honey bunny giggle and roll our eyes. We think most of the world (with more nourishing Chinese charts than ours, often the case) is filled with boneheads and those evil enough to want people to suffer without healthcare or jobs that pay them a decent, living wage for service work.

So, I will answer with what I consider makes a ‘good lover’. So simple. It’s the intent of said lover to put their partner first and not let their huge, freaking ego get so in the way that said lover feels like (and I did once, truly) throwing the cad into the street barely dressed.

You have to intend for your lover to be happy, and then go about making that come true for them. Yes, it does help that my lover is also my slave, but hey, I’ve known slave/master/ mistress relationships that didn’t work as well as ours, and a number of vanilla relationships that don’t come anywhere near close to ours.

Too bad for them, we say, lucky for us. Still, anything is fixable, if you really care enough about making something work. Helps if you don’t have an ego the size of a planet too.

Trust me, if you know your baby intends to bring you multiple orgasms and is determined to stay hard, or hold her/his breath until you’ve achieved oral nirvana, then you will feel like your little apartment or whatever is heaven on earth. Mine is, believe me, cat dander allergies from my baby, clutter and all. True, our neighbors, mostly the snarkiest, most desolate and absolutely criminally oriented group I’ve ever had the bad luck to be living in a building

with, probably hate us both (we make noise of the pleasure and laughter variety in the very wee hours on a regular basis and we smile a lot), but we don’t care. With luck, I’m moving this year anyway, to something affordable on a poor psychic/writer’s budget and nice too.

As for my opinion on whether you’ll ever find ‘the hookup for life’ on a chatline or other dating service site, I still say ‘buyer beware’.

Been there, done that, wrote poems about it and don’t intend to repeat any of those mistakes again, believe me. Though, some of them were adventures, especially the military guy who had phone sex with me and didn’t hang up immediately after ‘the big moment’ for him.

Hope someone is making him very happy and intending pleasure the like of which only my baby and I have, for him. Oh, and one thing I did love about 2009? The 1,000 episode of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, where he had wiggling, dancing girls, puppets and his crocoalidile did the whole show of interviews and even tongue kissed Maria Bello. Way to go, dude, we loves ya heah.

This, I shamelessly tell you.

myspace.com/stlouissinner

By Matthew Gorman

Photo by Rahni Ziegler

Shadow People

This photo was taken by a web cam. The girl who’s room this is taken in had an uneasy feeling of “being watched.” She left her camera running while away, and upon returning she reviewed the footage.

The image of this shadowy figure, apparently leaping across the room, showed up on only two consecutive frames. A web camera records at 25-30 frames per second.

M

ove over ghosts. Now there’s something creepier. Darkly translucent forms that flitter by us, moving faster than our eyes can typically follow. Strange, moving shadows that we may find ourselves dismissing as hallucinations in an effort to preserve our own sanity. And yet, their existence seems almost undeniable. I’ve talked with large numbers of people, who, like myself, have encountered this frightful phenomenon. They, too, believe it to be real. They, too, have witnessed the smoky, black figures shooting by out of the corners of their eyes. What are these things, you ask? They are the shadow people.And they can hurt you.

It is quite possible that the shadow people have existed with us throughout human history, but it is the modern advent of the Internet that has truly brought this shadowy phenomenon to light. Pun most definitely intended. You’ll likely want a whole book of jokes to lighten the mood after learning about shadow people.

Believe me, it’s very disturbing.

So now that people are posting and chatting online, and communicating their personal experiences concerning the shadow people, a growing body of knowledge and supposition has began to coalesce.

There are many notions as to the exact nature of the shadow people, but most “theories” surmise that they are something all together different from ghosts. For one thing, ghosts don’t always interact with their human observers. Some hauntings, called residual hauntings, are akin to a “tape loop” being played over and over.

The apparition or apparitions involved simply appear and repeat some past event ad nauseam, seemingly without a conscious awareness of the present. Shadow people, on the other hand, are very interactive with their environments. And they seem very interested in us.

Of course, since no one really knows what a ghost is exactly, one is hard-pressed to say whether or not the shadow people can be lumped into this category or not. One thing’s for sure, though, they’re not all white and misty. And they don’t look like anyone’s dead grandmother. In fact, with the exception of many eerie reports of glowing red or yellow eyes, the shadow people are described as being devoid of any facial features.

One hypothesis (a far more accurate term than “theory” in this arena)concerning shadow people is that they are what your standard religious types would refer to as “demons.” In essence, creatures of pure evil, or at the very least, ones that harbor decidedly deleterious intentions towards us. And while I shy from the distinctly

religious overtones of this conjecture, it does go a long way towards explaining the overwhelming feelings of malevolence felt to be emanating from these creatures by those who encounter them. Many people have claimed they have been attacked by shadow people as well. They often describe their injuries as “burns.”

A caller on the radio talk show Coast To Coast With George Noory, going by the name of James, reported that he’d been assaulted in his bedroom by a shadow person. He claimed that it punched him in the face, leaving him with a black eye. An artist, James drew up a one-page comic strip chronicling his experience. It is available for viewing on the Coast To Coast website.

Other people have recounted being chased or menaced by shadow people, often in their very own homes. Homes that had no previous history of supernatural occurrence until the shadow people arrived. It would appear to me then, after reviewing scores of eyewitness accounts, that these enigmatic entities can appear anywhere and at anytime, and to the best of my knowledge, they have never been described as peaceful.

Aliens, time-travelers, humans in astral form, there is a deluge of alternate explanations for the existence of shadow people. Though the time-traveler notion doesn’t carry a lot of weight with me, personally, when you consider how malicious the shadow people are often described as being. But who knows? Maybe the future sucks, and everyone’s mean. Or just those who time travel.

Another interesting concept is that the shadow people are inter-dimensional beings, or beings that coexist with us in our dimension but at a level we cannot normally perceive. Some people believe they are always around us, but that they simply move too fast for our naked eye to spot most of the time.

I find this notion particularly intriguing, for as any methamphetamine user will tell you, one often sees the shadow people when you’re tweaked out of your gourd. A rather established tweaker I used to know, one Cory K., used to keep a full super-soaker squirt gun in a holster, duct-taped to his Lay-Z-Boy. He said the shadow people didn’t like water. Back when I was doing that nasty crap, myself, I dismissed my shadow people sightings as chemically-induced hallucinations resulting from the psychoactive effects of the crystal meth and subsequent periods of sleep deprivation. Only now, I kinda wonder...? If methamphetamine “speeds” up your brain processes, perhaps it makes it possible for its users to see the shadow people more easily. Don’t go

doing that shit though, it sucks. Take it from me.

Yet another idea concerning the shadow people is that they are made up of negative energy. The universal vibrations that are corollary with such emotions or intangible states as anger, greed, hatred, addiction, violence, etc., giving rise to a somewhat tangible form.

Of course, this is also sort of an esoteric explanation for what “demons” are. Which brings us to the fact that none of these theories necessarily stands alone. The shadow people could be time-traveling aliens, or aliens in astral form, or alien ghosts, or demon aliens, or inter-dimensional astral travelers, or the time-traveling ghosts of transgendered hyaenas. The point is, we really don’t know.

What we do know is that there are some common threads linking shadow people encounters. For one thing, first-hand descriptions of the terrifying entities run fairly consistent from one account to the next. They are described as black but often somewhat diaphanous, like they’re made from thick smoke or vapor. Their outlines are often hazy like smoke, as well, with wisps or tendrils trailing off of them. Beside the aforementioned eyes that are seen from time to time, they have no discernible features. Most shadow people are described as being tall and slender. “Skeletal” is a word often used. But there are some other types of shadow forms that seem to manifest repeatedly to people as well. One is a small figure, about the size of a child with a pointed head, as if wearing a hood. Another is a sphere or blob, typically described as being about the size of a beach ball.

Interestingly, on a recent episode of the Sci-Fi Channel series Ghosthunters, the team of paranormal investigators the show is based around talked with a lady who described being frightened by a black, smoky ball traveling through her bedroom at night. She said one night, it actually shot towards her, stopping just inches from her face before disappearing. And finally, a tall black figure wearing a top hat is without a doubt, the type of shadow creature most often observed besides the standard variety. I don’t know about you, but the mental image of a spindly, skeletal creature in a top hat, and composed completely of black vapor walking towards me really does a number on my nerves. Call me chicken, but if you saw that, I bet you’d void your bowels. Well, they’re out there my friend. Maybe closer than you think.

An interesting side note to the top hat clad figure is that the Voudoun (Voodoo) God of death and cemeteries, Baron Samedi, is depicted as a skeleton wearing a top hat. Could the Haitians know something

we don’t?

Although, as previously mentioned, the shadow people are dissimilar to what we normally think of as ghosts, there does seem to be some evidence linking these creatures with human death. Whether they could be the souls or energy of the deceased, or dark entities that somehow thrive in death’s presence is, of course, a matter of pure speculation. One place that lends credence to the notion of shadow people as being the wraiths of the dead, however, is the Waverly Sanatorium.

Waverely Sanatorium in Louisville, Kentucky was established in 1910 to fight the growing scourge of Tuberculosis. Tuberculosis, known as “The White Death”, had reached epidemic proportions in the region at the time, and had proven to be fatal for the afflicted in most cases. Between the time it opened until the hospital shut down in 1961, it is estimated by some accounts that over 60,000 people died from the disease at Waverely.

Today, the place is absolutely crawling with shadow people. Recently, a film crew making a horror movie called Death Tunnel at Waverely, experienced a significant amount of shadow person activity, adding a bit of true terror to their fictional escapade.

People describing the room they’re in as becoming very cold, or taking on a bad odor (usually like rotten eggs. Sulfur, anyone?) in the presence of shadow people, also tends to give a nod to the ghostly or demonic explanations for these creatures. In addition, many witnesses claim to have seen, or to have been accosted by, shadow people soon after (or during) “playing” with a Ouija board. Not exactly something you’d expect from aliens.

The skeptics, naturally, have a near endless supply of “rational” explanations for what seems to be a ever-increasing phenomenon of reported sightings.

Pareidolia (the brain incorrectly interpreting patterns), hypnogogia (waking-sleep), chemical or biological agents acting upon the senses, electromagnetic fields, and that old warhorse of theirs, an overactive imagination. Nevertheless, there is a huge population of people who truly believe that they have had frightening first-hand experiences with these things.

Myself included.

Whatever these shadow people are. There’s lots of them. They’re not nice. And more an more, they’re popping up in many more places than just the corners of our eyes. Watch out!