Australian Times weekly newspaper | 11 September 2012

11 - 17 September 2012 – Issue: 429

FLYING HIGH

Swans crush Crows in AFL Finals SPORT P14

WANNA PUNCH ME?

CASTLES IN THE SKYE

Jefferies on success, America and Christians

Trek through the Scottish Highlands TRAVEL P12

ENTERTAINMENT P6

BACK TO NAURU n

As asylum seeker boats continue to arrive on the Aussie coastline, Immigration Minister Chris Bowen and the federal government have reopened avenues to have refugees processed outside Australia, on the tiny Pacific island of Nauru.

The first phase of federal Labor’s policy to transfer people from Christmas Island off Western Australia to centres on Nauru and Papua New Guinea’s Manus Island will be under way by the end of the week.

And Australia’s politicians are debating that the move couldn’t come at a better time, as the number of asylum seeker boats heading to Australia continues to rise.

After Australian authorities on Monday intercepted the third boat in

just 24 hours, Immigration minister Chris Bowen signed documents designating Nauru as a regional processing country under the Migration Act, ahead of introducing special legislation in parliament.

The documents sit alongside an updated memorandum of understanding agreed with PNG on the weekend to reopen Manus Island.

If a special legislative instrument gets past the Senate on Wednesday as expected, the first asylum seekers will

be on their way to Nauru by Friday.

“The governments of Australia and Nauru have been working towards a transfer to occur in the latter part of this week,” Mr Bowen told reporters in Canberra.

The federal opposition immediately proposed amendments in the lower house, calling on Labor to adopt its policy of immediately reintroducing temporary protection visas for refugees and turning back asylum seeker boats where it’s safe to do so.

SHOUT IT OUT!

FilmFest Australia comes to London | P8-9 This Autumn. Our land. Our way

WALES v AUSTRALIA

The Greens again called on the government to limit processing periods on the islands to a year.

Greens deputy leader Adam Bandt said it was extraordinary that the parliament was being asked to approve sending refugees to another country to be locked up indefinitely. ‘’We know the government wants to, and has, adopted John Howard’s migration policy. Are they now going to be responsible for the enormous amount of suffering that people will incur when they are detained indefinitely?’’ Mr Bandt said.

He said it was worrying that the government was outsourcing the facility to a private company.

The Greens have urged the federal government to set up an independent expert panel to protect the mental and physical well-being of asylum seekers sent to Nauru and Manus Island.

Meanwhile, details of the arrangements with Nauru show children and unaccompanied minors will either go to local schools or receive schooling from education contractors.Training courses will be offered to adults and Nauruans by the Salvation Army, which will also have responsibility for asylum seeker support services, including counselling, pastoral care and recreation programs.

Mr Bowen said the Christian church group would not be there to “proselytise” and there would be provisions for worship for asylum seekers, many of whom are Muslim.

“I have full confidence in the Salvation ...continued on p3

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Magpies devastated

by Port player’s death Collingwood’s players are in “utter devastation” over the death of former AFL teammate John McCarthy.

Magpies president Eddie McGuire says McCarthy, who played 18 AFL games for the club over four seasons before joining Port, was a great friend to all at Collingwood.

A clearly shaken McGuire, who was told of McCarthy’s death just before launching a joint Collingwood/Salvation Army project to combat homelessness in Melbourne on Monday, says the midfielder had remained close to many players at the club.

“Today’s news is met with utter devastation. The players are shattered,” McGuire said.

“When news filtered through today ... heads dropped, tears spilt, it was utter devastation. “(McCarthy was) much-loved, a wonderful young man, great love for his friends, great love for his club and great love for the sport.

“To lose a player of his character and his wonderful personality, it’s heartbreaking for all of us.”

McCarthy, 22, was holidaying with Port Adelaide teammates in ...continued on p3

2 | News

11 - 17 September 2012

Australian Paralympic Team shines brightly in London an astute aussie in london

> SEPI ROSHAN

Publisher: Bryce Lowry Editor: Tim Martin Production/Design: Jackie Lampard Australia Editor: Ashlea Maher Contributors: Bianca Soldani, Shannon Crane, Kate Ausburn, Sara Newman, Phill Browne, Paul Judge, Amy Fallon, Rose Callaghan, Lesley Slade, Simon Kleinig, Kris Griffiths, Chris Ark,Cameron Jenkins, Will

Denton, Lee Crossley, Shane Jones, Liam Flanagan, Mel Edwards, Will Fitzgibbon, Phoebe Lee, Bronwyn Spencer, Rebekka Hodges, Alex Ivett, Emily Banyard, Justin Ng, Sam Tilburn Advertising Manager: Dominic Young Directors: P Atherton, J Durrant N Durrant, R Phillips and A Laird Additional content:

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By Sepi Roshan The Who’s Who of Australiana gathered in Australia House last week to celebrate the great achievements of our Aussie Paralympians. The Australian Paralympic Committee (APC) Official Reception was awash with Paralympic athletes, APC officials and prominent members of the Australian business and cultural community in the UK. Australia’s High Commissioner, John Dauth AO LVO, officially declared his pride for the Paralympic team and everyone involved in the Paralympic effort. The Australian Minster for Sport, the Honourable Kate Lundy thanked the Aussie athletes on behalf of the Australian government. Senator Lundy described the athletes as an inspiration to all Australians, who are serving and inspiring the next generation of young people.

International Paralympic Committee vice-president and president of the APC, Greg Hartung, continued the homage to the extraordinary talent and drive of our athletes.

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Among the guests were several London 2012 Australian Paralympians, and Madeline Hogan, 23, proudly displayed her Bronze Medal for Javelin. This is Hogan’s second Paralympic medal, having also won Bronze in Beijing in 2008.

Hogan said that she was more focused in London as her past Paralympic experiences had better equipped her to manage the challenges and changes to her everyday training routine, that come with living in the athlete’s village. Having finished her London 2012 Paralympic event, Hogan was looking forward to enjoying the rest of her time in London.

Australia’s Paralympic athlete Jack Swift also attended the Aussie Welcome Reception, however he couldn’t afford to relax as Hogan could, as he was still training hard for his events, including the men’s 400 metre race where he was looking forward to competing against high profile Paralympian, Oscar Pistorius.

Swift equated the “electric” atmosphere of the London 2012 Paralympic Games to “Grand Final day” in Australia.

Several shooters were also in attendance and Bronze Medalist Natalie Smith was excited to be part of celebration of Aussie achievement.

Smith won Australia’s first medal of the London 2012 Paralympic Games, taking out Bronze in the Women’s 10m Air Rifle Standing at the Royal Artillery Barracks. Smith only took up shooting two years ago when, she says, she fell in love with the sport during rehabilitation after an accident three years ago.

“There is always light at the end of the tunnel”, Smith told Australian Times. When asked what advice she would give to aspiring athletes, her

Australian Business welcomes inspiring Aussie Paralympians Senator Kate Lundy and Australian High Commissioner John Dauth were busy Paralympic supporters last week, from welcoming our Aussie inspirations at the Official Paralympic Welcome Reception at Australia House (see above) to joining them in the social surroundings of the Australian Business event at Macquarie’s offices in London’s heart.

More than 100 Australian Business members and guests showed their encouragement and support for the pride of the Aussie Paralympic team,

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over some sporting chit-chat and true blue Down Under food and refreshments.

Images by Paul Judge

response was poignant and simple: “Never give up!”

Despite missing out on a medal, Australia’s equal world record holder Bradley Mark was ecstatic just to be in London. The two-time, 2011 World Cup gold medalist shone with pride as he joked with fellow shooter Smith.

Such is the competitive nature of the Mixed R-5 10 metre Air Rifle Prone SH2, that despite shooting a perfect score to qualify for one of his events, Mark was not able to gain a place in the finals. But Mark was philosophical and the disappointment seemed only to fuel his passion to make amends in Rio 2016.

However there were no sad stories here.

“Accept your disability and get on with life,” said Swift, perfectly encapsulating the London 2012 Paralympic mood.

Inspiring and focused individuals always succeed and represent the best of who we are. Seeing all the personal triumphs during the London 2012 Paralympic Games shows that a disability need not stop you from chasing your dreams. With their sights already set on Rio 2016, there is no doubt that the Aussie spirit and competitiveness will hold them in very good stead. Come on Aussies, come on!!

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Army’s ability to provide services without fear or favour to religious background,” the minister said.

While the Salvos remain concerned about the potential impact of offshore processing on the wellbeing and mental health of asylum seekers, they said the primary focus was to provide the best care.

The church already offers housing and chaplaincy support services to asylum seekers at detention centres in Australia.

About 2000 potential refugees have arrived in Australia by boat since Labor announced in mid-August plans to reopen the processing centres.

The government wants to deter asylum seekers from making dangerous sea journeys to Australia, following a serious of boat sinkings and drownings.

It hopes to fly 500 asylum seekers to the Pacific Island nation of Nauru by

1 2 3

the end of September.

Under the act, immigration department officials are obliged to move offshore anyone who arrives by boat unless instructed otherwise by the minister or his delegate on “public interest grounds”.

But Opposition immigration spokesman Scott Morrison said from today “any person who turns up on a boat must go to Nauru - no exceptions”.

Mr Bowen did not say whether women and children could be included in the first transfers.

Meanwhile, the government is taking a “step-by-step” approach to reopening Manus Island and 30 defence personnel and two immigration officials will head there in coming days. - With AAP Do you agree with the Australian government’s asylum seeker policy?

Tell us your thoughts at our website

Aussie’s triple Channel epic swim ends early

Australian swimmer Chloe McCardel’s attempt to cross the English Channel three times this weekend has failed during the final leg.

The 27-year-old marathon swimmer was hoping to break the women’s world record set in 1990 by covering more than 112 kilometres non-stop over 30 hours.

But instead of crossing the finish line on Sunday night, she ended the bold attempt early due to worsening temperatures and conditions.

McCardel started in Dover and swam to the French coast before returning to England in 19 hours and 20 minutes.

But she stopped swimming approximately two hours into the final return to France, when the seas became extremely cold and

concerns for her safety were raised.

“This is very disappointing for the whole team, and Chloe is completely shattered,” McCardel’s husband Paul said in a statement.

“However, above all else, Chloe’s safety is paramount, and despite her determination and ability, the conditions are not suitable to continue.”

McCardel, who has completed more crossings of the English Channel than any other Australian woman, was seeking to be the first Australian to make the triple crossing and one of only four swimmers worldwide to do so.

She will spend 24 hours recuperating before deciding on when to re-attempt a triple crossing of the English Channel. - AAP

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the United States when he died.

He is believed to have fallen from a building in Las Vegas.

Collingwood chief executive Gary Pert spoke individually to McCarthy’s close friends at the club on Monday as the Magpies prepare for their semi-final against West Coast on Saturday.

McGuire has earmarked some manner of long-term

commemoration for McCarthy at Collingwood.

“At the very least the club will be wearing black armbands against West Coast on Saturday night,” McGuire said. - AAP

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4 | Voices

11 - 17 September 2012

Lights, camera, Nine months on and the world has changed BFI Southbank n

For our resident London adventurer, going to the movies is one of her all-time favourite activities. That’s why, when offered the chance to tick #18 of her London Top 100 list and visit the BFI on the Southbank, she jumped at the chance and busted out the popcorn.

life after

london

> SHANNON CRANE

bron in

the don BRONWYN SPENCER

I’m so constantly busy with London life that I rarely get to the movies here – unlike when I was at home and would see a movie pretty regularly. London movies somehow allude me, even the big blockbusters that I keep meaning to see. Therefore when I saw the chance to tick off #18 on my London Top 100 list and re-indulge by cinematic fancies at the British Film Institute (BFI), I was very excited to give it a go (not to mention reacquaint myself with my long lost weekend treats of popcorn and frozen cokes).

The film institute and its partner the BFI Imax are both located in one of my favourite parts of the city – Southbank.

A short walk from Waterloo (you can literally see the Imax from the Station) Southbank is the perfect place to go out for a drink or meal before or after your movie.

The BFI hosts a variety of film genres and often has different seasons of film.

Currently they are hosting ‘The Genius of Hitchcock’ which showcases the famous directors’ work from August to October.

They also have several other features for those who are interested in alternative cinema. One that I want to check out when I get the chance is another current feature – the sight and sound Greatest Films of All Time Poll that is held once

a decade.

Rather than visiting one of the institutes’ current features, I chose instead for something a bit more main stream and went to finally see one of the newest blockbusters. I went to see one of the many new action flicks – Spiderman.

What better way to see the special effects, fight scenes and a fit bloke in spandex then watching it in Imax and in 3D. While the ticket prices are a bit higher than most movie cinemas – about £17 a pop – it is worth it if you enjoy the cinema experience.

The Imax is the size of five double decker buses but even so it was an unexpected surprise when I was asked to take an elevator up to my seat! The theatre itself was packed with movie goers and we all got to wear those super trendy 3D glasses as we watched Spidey fly around the screen and come out towards you in your seat.

I was happy to have my popcorn and frozen coke and spend a Saturday afternoon relaxing while taking in a movie however I think that I much prefer the rest of my London adventures as they are much more unique to the city itself.

Nine months.

That’s how long it takes for a foetus to grow into a baby that is ready to leave the womb. It’s also the title of a 90s rom-com featuring Hugh Grant.

But this article is about neither of those things.

Last week marked the nine-month anniversary of my return Down Under, so for me the past nine months have been about settling back into Australian life.

In the past nine months I’ve moved countries, found a new job, found a new flat, made new friends, broken up with an old one, explored a new city and moved in with my boyfriend for the first time.

When I landed at Melbourne airport in November 2011, after spending two years in London, I was excited, sad, worried and a little lost.

And to be honest, not much has changed.

Deciding to move to another country so far from home was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

And I can honestly say that this lifechanging decision has been equally matched by my choice to leave.

And that’s where the dilemma lies.

London opened my eyes to a world of endless possibilities.

I used the British capital as a base to explore cities, countries, cultures and communities that I had barely taken an interest in before - think Egypt, Iceland and Portugal. All such amazing countries which I probably wouldn’t have considered visiting if I wasn’t living abroad.

And now I want to see more. The US, South America, Japan, India, Vietnam (tick!) - the list keeps getting longer.

At the same time, living in the UK has also given me the desire to explore my own country and even check out all that our cousin New Zealand has to offer.

Since being back I’ve been to the Great Ocean Road, Canberra, Albury-

Wodonga (it counts, OK!), the Gold Coast and Byron Bay. While I had visited all of these places before, going back after two years away gave me a foreigner’s perspective - I can really appreciate Australia’s beauty and diversity like never before. That in itself makes the move to London worthwhile.

The things that I have achieved in the past nine months also make leaving London worthwhile. In the past nine months I’ve started a blog, joined the Melbourne Writer’s Club, started writing for two local publications and enrolled in two courses - photography and web design. Melbourne is a real melting pot of creative go-getters who inspire you and make you feel as if anything is possible.

Sports-wise, I’ve run three fun runs, one of which was a half-marathon, I’ve joined a gym and discovered a love of cycling. I’ve also been to an AFL match and tried to pick an AFL team - and failed.

Achieving just one of these things would have been near impossible while I was living in London. My priorities were different - traveling, socialising, exploring London and making friends were top of the list because, well, that’s why I moved there.

I would list all the things I have done in the past nine months, but that would take a week (and it would be pretty boring to read)*.

Moving home has been somewhat of an adjustment, and while I’m none the wiser about how long I’ll stay in Australia, and I’ve still got no clue about what I want to be when I grow up, it’s nice to look back on the past nine months and think, ‘hey, that has actually been pretty awesome’. *A few more achievements to note: I’ve also bought a microwave and drank an estimated 240 proper coffees since moving home (sorry Brits, I’ve returned to my lattedrinking ways). I’ve also mastered Melbourne’s public transport system.

On the flip side I’ve received a $150 speeding fine (which I talked my way out of) and a ludicrous $180 tram fine (appeal rejected). Oh Australia!

What’s that schmoo-bear? lost in london > lexxy luther

I guess I’m getting to that particular age when people start to really couple up. And not just with that once-off fervour that a few tequila shots at the Walkabout can induce, but in that proper ‘let’s Photoshop our faces together to see what our babies would look like’ way. In fact, one motivating factor for the move from Canberra to London was the fact that in my office of 30 people, my peculiarly singular status and lack of desire for a ‘better half’ with which to tend a vegetable patch with on the weekends had become routine office water-cooler conversation.

Add to this a wealth of coupled upfriends and you may has well have renamed me ‘Third Wheel McGee’.

I became quite good at hanging out with twosomes. Of sitting alone at one side of the table whilst they smooched on the bench seat opposite, all the while the waiter standing in the corner shaking his head and bemoaning the aesthetic unevenness of the arrangement. Of agreeing that nicknames like ‘schmoodles’ and ‘cuddly-butt’ were “oh so adorable”.

Of watching rom-coms from the single armchair whilst the couple pat each other’s hair and feed each other Thai takeout from a shared fork on the double couch.

But when I moved to London, a city where one does not need to sit at home in a onesie - Bridget Jones style - swilling red wine from a schooner glass and instead celebrating the state of singledom with half-price drinks and speed-dating, I didn’t then except to continue to be surrounded by couples.

Forget internet dating, forget Guardian ‘soulmates’ – if you want to have the nearest stranger come clamp their mouth over yours for all of eternity, then just stand near me. I am a magnet for all things that come in pairs. A mecca for those who wish to walk down the street with their limbs entangled. A nerve centre for those who wish to canoodle in the M&S line when I’m trying to buy my microwavable roast for one.

At a recent trip to Fernandez & Wells, a Spanish tapas hole in the wall in Soho with a long thin bar of stools to sit on and indulge in all things pig, I was confronted with a veritable wall of couples. All facing inwards in a vertical line, their legs intertwined and in various stages of pre-coitus and undress. The entire restaurant was like Noah’s Ark – all in twos. I didn’t even really need to order, I could have just moved down the line, sneaking an olive from between that couple’s interlocked lips, taking a swig from the glass stolen over that girl’s shoulder while she’s busy climbing into that guy’s lap, siphoning a piece of prosciutto from that otherwise occupied man’s hand.

Of course, I didn’t. I just sat in the leftover corner space with my schooner of red and a wheel of cheese, trying to avoid the flailing limbs and contemplating charging couples for my services of having my mere presence reignite their lost passion.

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Voices | 5

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The fun of a ‘Three Course Date’ night

By Paul Judge Ah, the London dating scene.

Scary, intimidating, so many rules…

And there’s a fair share of players out there too. Luckily there’s enough dating events in London to keep even Hugh Heffner happy.

All you have to do is look online and see there’s something for everyone. But which dating ‘event’ is right for you? You can go speed dating, group dating, sports dating, vegan dating... What!? Vegan dating? Well, I’m not vegan, so that’s probably not for me.

One to hit Australia recently has been ‘Safari Dating’. Groups of three guys will rotate between three pubs to meet different groups of girls. Sort of like a pub crawl but

you might want to keep a lid on it, for starters at least.

With this in mind, the crew at London’s exciting new ‘Three Course Date’ have kept the group theme but have run with a dinner concept where you rotate between girls after every course (maybe this hasn’t been tried in Oz yet because eating is cheating back home).

Tempting two of my mates with the offer of a meal and the chance to meet some girls, we went along to the inaugural ‘Three Course Date’ event at the Gaslight Grill in Battersea. If this article was simply reviewing the food I’d be two thumbs up by now. It was fantastic but was merely the facilitating factor in the whole event. Sitting opposite us were three strangers

Fifty Shades of Dull

By Haylee Slater After so much online debate, I finally caved and purchased Fifty Shades of Grey. Based on the Twilight series with beginnings as a work of fan fiction, it is fair to say I had low expectations for this book which has been widely branded as ‘mummy porn’.

I could argue that it is demeaning to women to assume that we all suppress a secret urge to be tied up and spanked. However, the ridiculous amount of sales this book has achieved would put that argument to rest pretty quickly.

Perhaps I should pretend to take a feminist stance and argue that it is the term ‘mummy porn’ that bothers me so much about this book. But if I am honest, I was just plain bored.

There is nothing ground-breaking here if contrasted with the movement of eroticism since the turn of the 19th century. Writers such as Anais Nin and D.H Lawrence paved the way for erotica as a form of literature a long time before Ms

E. L James came along. Marketing this book as anything other than the cheap chick-lit that it is not only disrespects erotica as a genre but also those who spent the money to read this expecting so much more.

A young virgin having an earthshattering sexual experience followed by a drawn out battle to marry the man who wishes to be her ‘dom’ is so far from erotica it is laughable.

I do not wish to judge what others respond to, but the only feelings this book aroused in me were feelings of despair for what is a well-respected genre.

This book is not only poorly written and repetitive, but it also uses expletives to try to add sexual tension where none exists.

Long gone are the days of Lady Chatterley’s Lover. If this is what passes for erotic literature now, I fear for the future of the genre.

Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey?

Tell us your thoughts at our website.

who we had to contend with while remembering which fork to use first. At least you’ve got your friends there to help with awkward silences. Or create them.

Luckily for us, everyone was there for a bit of fun and got into the spirit.

Maybe the free cocktails played a part. The guys at ‘Three Course Date’ are definitely onto a good concept but had some organisational problems on the night which we hoped were down to first night nerves.

None of us met the girl of our dreams and it could be hard with two of her mates staring you down, but if you’re looking for a new experience and to meet some new people, ‘Three Course Date’ is certainly not a bad way to spend the night.

6 | Entertainment

What we’re following

#GoAussies

@masey Watching the beast #Batt & the Aussie Paralympic Wheelchair Rugby Men demolish the Belgians. Amazing athletic ability on show…#goaussies @KateLundy Brenden Hall has won Gold in the pool, men’s S9 400m Freestyle in world record time.

Congratulations Brenden! #GoAussies@AUSParalympics @nath49er Really enjoying sitting back at home this week watching the Paralympics. Truly amazing athletes! #GoAussies @matt_cowdrey I’m amazed & humbled @ the opportunities I have been given by my parents & many others.

Gold is great, team Gold is even better!#goaussies Check out what we’re following today on AustralianTimes.co.uk and follow us on Twitter @AustralianTimes

What’s On Jinja Safari 11 September @ Birthdays, Stoke Newington The Necks 17 September @ Village Underground Darren Hayes 24 September @ IndigO2, Temper Trap 4 October @ Hammersmith Apollo Tame Impala 30 October @ O2 Academy, Brixton Julia Stone 5 November @ Scala, Kings Cross Gotye 12 November @ Hammersmith Apollo The Cat Empire 10 December @ O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire Tommy Emmanuel 16 March @ Shepherd’s Bush Empire

For full details...

...and more Aussie gigs go to: AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

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AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

11 - 17 September 2012

Jim Jefferies is pulling no punches n

Punched on stage, banned by Christian groups and hated by ‘many’, Jim Jefferies is one Aussie comedian who is seriously turning heads. PAUL BLEAKLEY finds out how this ‘unknown bloke back home’ cracked America, how he keeps cracking up people around the world, and how he’s moved on from the Alcohocaust.

He has been described as the most insulting stand-up comedian in the United Kingdom. His provocative style of observational humour is peppered with tales of deviancy that have been branded “offensively hilarious”. But it is this often cringe-worthy honesty that has propelled Australian comic Jim Jefferies to a place amongst the international comedy elite.

Jefferies, originally from Sydney, has firmly established his position as one of Australia’s most successful comedic exports over the past decade. Appearing at his ninth Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August, his show Fully Functional was met with almost universal praise for its wit and shameless portrayal of life.

Despite being renowned for the provocative nature of his routines, Jefferies claims that he does not actively set out to make his shows as offensive as possible.

“I don’t take pride in being offensive, although I do take pride in being one of the few comedians that can get away with it,” he told Australian Times during the Fringe.

Jefferies has courted controversy

throughout his celebrated career as an international comedic icon. In 2005, right-wing political advocacy group Christian Voice attempted to have his show banned on the basis that his routine was both “sick and repellent”.

The group’s attempt to ban Jefferies only served to increase his public profile and provide an additional element of notoriety to the rising comic talent.

“We actually wrote some of the letters to Christian Voice protesting against my show ourselves, just to provoke them into protesting against us,” he tells with a grin.

Although Jefferies has lived outside Australia for over a decade, the comedian still considers himself to be an ‘Australian’ - despite what he perceives as a lack of support from the Aussie media.

Jefferies is the first Australian comedian to have secured his own television program in the USA, with his series Legit premiering on American network FX in early 2013. The show is scheduled to be broadcast in an astonishing slot, nestled in between programs headlined by two other icons of comedy: Charlie Sheen and Russell Brand.

From The Necks up They’ve been called “one of the most extraordinary groups on the planet”. A “sonic experience that has few parallels or rivals”. The New York Times even proclaims them as “one of the greatest bands in the world”.

They are Australia’s cult musical trio – The Necks. And they are here to sweep and enthral London with their compelling style of musical improvisation. Together for 25 years, Australians Chris Abrahams (piano), Tony Buck (drums), and Lloyd Swanton (bass) have been conjuring a musical chemistry that defies orthodox description.

Not entirely avant-garde, nor minimalist, nor ambient, nor jazz, their music is regularly described internationally as, simply, unique.

There is a deceptive simplicity to their music, which throws forth new charms on each hearing.

They delve from lengthy pieces of long-form development - which build in a mesmerising, epic

fashion – to soothingly sweet, faultless performances frequently underpinned by an insistent deep groove. Spell binding. Phenomenal.

They are peerless and addictive.

And they are Australia’s own, giving it back to the world.

The Necks will be visiting London’s Shoreditch to play the concluding show of the Barbican’s Transcender series. They’re an unmissable trio, and act that’ll you’ll be the better off for seeing.

Don’t miss The Necks, 17 September at Shoreditch’s Village Underground. For ticket info, head to VillageUnderground.co.uk

“I wonder if I have pissed people off in Australia… I am the first Australian comedian to get my own TV show in the States and yet no one in Australia knows who I am,” Jefferies laments.

“People like Wil Anderson go to try and make it in the States and that is all the media want to talk about even though I’ve already done it.”

It is Jefferies’ commitment to his role as a storyteller that gives the anecdotes that make up his routine the power to simultaneously shock and provoke uncontrollable laughter. Jefferies admits that his chief talent lies in embellishing the everyday things that happen to him and recounting them in a way that highlights their inherent hilarity.

“The difference between a comedian and an ordinary person is that a comedian should never have to end a story by saying ‘you had to be there’…

Everyone has stories where they go out, get drunk and things happen to them.”

Following his successful run in Edinburgh, Jefferies is embarking on a fourteen show whistle-stop tour of the United Kingdom before returning to work on his forthcoming television

series. The Fully Functional tour will be Jefferies’ first nationwide circuit since his highly praised Alcohocaust tour in 2010.

“Because there was no tour last year, it means that I have two years’ worth of material in the new show… so everything will be fresh for people that have seen the last show.”

The Fully Functional tour has already sold out its London show at the Lyric Theatre, although dates still remain throughout the country to experience Jefferies’ masterful storytelling skills.

It is highly likely that your moral sensibilities will be offended in some way. It is also highly likely that you will not be able to help laughing.

8 | Entertainment

11 - 17 September 2012

n

It is time! The Aussie cinematic event of the year - FilmFest Australia – is here and the team behind the former London Australian Film Festival are ultra-excited to be bringing two unmissable weekends of Australian cinema to the capital.

Showcasing a host of Aussie films making their UK and European premieres, the film festival also boasts a selection of the best Australian recent releases, docos, shorts and special events. The Picturehouse Cinemas of Clapham and Hackney are about to be lit up with some of Down Under’s best contemporary cinema and this is your chance to get involved. So clear the diary and get the popcorn ready – these next two weekends are not to be missed.

Australia’s prolific film industry continues to provide a wealth of strong feature films year after year, exploring all aspects of Australian life, and FilmFest Australia 2012 is no different.

2012 marks the 18th year of London’s celebration of the latest Australian cinema. Already established as a highlight of the capital city’s film calendar, the festival attracts Australian film fans hungry for the best new feature releases, documentaries, children’s favourites, animation and short films shipped up from Down Under.

“FilmFest Australia is proud to promote great Australian cinema to UK audiences and keen to support the next generation of outstanding filmmakers from this most successful and creative industry,” a FilmFest spokesperson told Australian Times.

Festival highlights for 2012 include Hollywood heartthrob Ryan Kwanten in the FilmFest opener Not Suitable for Children. Also on

show is the slick romantic comedy from Rob Sitch - Any Questions for Ben?. Fred Schepisi returns to the director’s chair for the multi awardwinning drama, The Eye of the Storm starring Australian acting royalty Geoffrey Rush and Judy Davis. And in the traditional ‘Dark Side of Down Under’ slot, there is the sexy noir thriller Swerve from Craig Lahiff.

Also on show will be former Boyzone star and Irish crooner – Ronan Keating – in Goddess; and the man behind Priscilla - Stephan Elliott - leading a riotous yet distinctly masculine stag-do comedy A Few Best Men. Sam Neill, Willem Dafoe and Frances O’Connor team up for the Tassie Tiger thriller The Hunter; and Toomelah is a moving portrait of life in a remote indigenous community.

For all screening and ticket information, head to FilmfestAustralia.org.uk Australian Times is proud to be the Official Media Partner of FilmFest Australia

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Swerve

Pick of the FilmFest flicks n

We give you a rundown of some of the best films to go and see at FilmFest Australia.

Not Suitable For Children

Sex, drugs and testicular cancer are the starting points for this massively enjoyable hit which opened the Sydney Film Festival earlier this year and will open London’s FilmFest Australia on Friday. Ryan Kwanten (True Blood) stars as the irresponsible but lovable party boy whose rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle is drastically altered when he discovers he’s about to be rendered infertile, and is seized by the need to become a father before it’s too late. Trouble is, he’s just not suitable for children...

Director Peter Templeman ably handles the delicate subject matter to create a hugely charming first feature, set in a young, celebratory Sydney he clearly knows and loves.

The soundtrack is inspired and also gives rising Aussie star Sarah Snook plenty to dance about!

The Eye Of The Storm

Fred Schepisi’s stormy portrait of a gloriously dysfunctional family is based on the novel by Nobel prize winner Patrick White.

Promises of a lavish inheritance and unresolved familial grievances reluctantly draw estranged children Basil (Geoffrey Rush) and Dorothy (Judy Davis) to the bedside of their

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dying mother Elizabeth, played by the magnificent Charlotte Rampling. Determined to dominate and manipulate until the very end, Basil and Dorothy’s increasingly desperate attempts to mollify their mother spin them in ever more tragically comic circles. With such a celebrated cast on board as well as a standout performance from Schepisi’s daughter Alexandra, The Eye of the Storm positively dazzles.

Toomelah

In a remote Aboriginal community 10 year old Daniel aspires to be a gangster just like the male role models in his life. Director Ivan Sen (Beneath Clouds) set out with a handheld camera to create an authentic fly–on–the–wall tour of life in his mother’s hometown, the remote Indigenous community of Toomelah on the borders of Queensland and New South Wales.

The resulting film is a deeply personal account of contemporary mission life in which a ten year old boy skips school to hang out with local gangsters. The cast of mainly local, non-professional actors is headed by the astonishing firsttimer Daniel Connor who plays the mesmerising young lead and Dean Daley Jones (Mad Bastards).

A gripping, intensely naturalistic

But wait, there’s more!

FilmFest Australia are excited about all their feature films showing at the festival, but they’re also very proud to have some top shelf shorts joining the screening list too!

“We’re stoked to report that our Bondi beach based partners Flickerfest are back with us once more with their expert selection of short films,” the peeps at FilmFest Australia told Australian Times.

“Presenting an array of stunning Aussie shorts before each film in

the programme, Flickerfest showcases the best upcoming Aussie film talent, whom FilmFest Australia hopes to welcome back in the future.”

With the likes of Nullarbor, Matt Jenkin’s Cockatoo, Josh Lawson’s award winning comedy After the Credits, and the incredible Eli the Invisible, audiences are in for a treat before all their feature length movies at the Aussie event.

exploration of a community battling addiction, unemployment and Stolen Generation grief, perfectly balanced with moments of tenderness and humour, Toomelah received a standing ovation when screened at Cannes last year.

Any Questions For Ben

Fancy a new urban comedy from the director of The Castle and The Dish? Yes please! Ben (Josh Lawson) lives the Melbourne highlife, flitting between exclusive parties, well paid jobs and expensive women, but when any kind of commitment appears on the horizon, he’s already running the other way. Then, a chance meeting with an old school friend causes him to re-evaluate his life, sending him into a much overdue existential crisis. Will Ben become a better man to get the girl of his dreams? Or is it all just too far out of his comfort zone? Melbourne is as hip and stunning as New York in Australian comedy legend Rob Sitch’s wellscripted rom-com, crowned by Ben’s mix of hilarious, concerned and totally vacant friends. With Rachael Taylor (Red Dog), Daniel Henshall (Snowtown) and comedienne Felicity Ward, you’re not going to know whether to laugh or cry throughout.

Any Questions For Ben

Entertainment | 9

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Fred Schepisi and his eye for a storm

Rush and Taylor named as patrons

n

FilmFest Australia has named Geoffrey Rush and Noah Taylor as Festival Patrons for 2012.

Garnering support from some of Australia’s finest acting and directing talent has been important in helping the festival grow over its lifetime and previous festival patrons have included Cate Blanchett, Toni Collette, Bryan Brown and director John Hillcoat (The Proposition, The Road). The festival has also been thrilled to welcome guests such as Sam Neill, Richard Roxburgh, Cate Shortland, Rachel Ward, David Wenham, Hugo Weaving, Stephan Elliott, Nick Cave, Warwick Thornton, and Rolf de Heer to name just a few.

Geoffrey Rush.

Fresh from being crowned Australian of the Year earlier this year and star of the festival’s cinematic hit The Eye of the Storm – this Aussie acting god is near untouchable. Onscreen accolades include his Oscar winning performance in Shine, his BAFTA winning role in The King’s Speech, and rounding out the big three of the thespian world – a Tony Award for Exit The King. Geoffrey is a consummate supporter of Australian cinema, and much of his work has been featured at the festival over the years including Bran Nue Dae, $9.99, Candy, Ned Kelly and Lantana.

Noah Taylor. With credits including John Hillcoat’s latest Lawless; The Year My Voice Broke; Shine; Flirting; He Died with a Falafel in his Hand; and 2011 festival opener Red Dog, Noah is a long-standing FilmFest Australia supporter and a true Aussie acting legend.

One of Australia’s most decorated directors – Fred Schepisi – will be celebrated at London’s FilmFest Australia this week. GUY LOGAN talks with the film doyen about his new film The Eye of the Storm, Aboriginal abuse, and his favourite London food haunts.

Over his 40-year career, Fred Schepisi has worked with some of the biggest names ever to stalk the big screen – from comedy kings like Steve Martin, John Cleese and Will Smith to drama dons like Meryl Streep, Michael Caine and Sir Ian McKellan.

With anecdotes that would put hairs on your chest, Schepisi is arguably the most successful director to emerge from Australia’s film renaissance in the 1970s. His latest offering, The Eye of the Storm, is just his second film in the last ten years, and gets its UK premiere at this week’s hotly anticipated event - FilmFest Australia in London.

The Eye of the Storm follows the return of two siblings (Aussies Geoffrey Rush and Judy Davis) to their childhood home as their rich elderly mother (Charlotte Rampling) plans to die. But they soon find out the controlling matriarch isn’t ready to cede control of her life - or theirs - just yet.

Set in the 1970s, the film harks back to an era where the class divide and growing sexual freedoms caused quite a fuss - eerily reminiscent of the West’s current financial crisis and the gay marriage debate.

“The film’s set in a world of the rich and privileged - when the sexual revolution hit Australia, and where the egalitarian qualities of society were coming to the fore,” Schepisi told Australian Times.

“It’s about to happen again. The old school ties with vast amounts of money who think they’re superior are discovering you can’t live life how you want without any recriminations.”

No stranger to controversy, Schepisi filmed A Cry in the Dark - the film that spawned the iconic line ‘the dingo’s got my baby!’ - during the famous trial. Likewise, The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith, based on a true story about an exploited Aborigine who goes postal, turned him into somewhat of a pariah.

“My second film shocked the hell out of people and Australian

newspapers took to me in a big way about the violence and attitudes to Aboriginals that they just couldn’t brook,” Schepisi said.

Unsurprisingly he upped and left for New York, joining the studio system that brought him into contact with A-listers and allowed him to make movies like Roxanne, Six Degrees of Separation and Last Orders.

“You go to America, get paid to do these films, and the first question I get asked is why I deserted the country and become a turncoat,” he said. “Tall poppy syndrome comes out a lot.”

Having returned to independent filmmaking, Schepisi has half a dozen projects on the go at all times, and enjoys working with his family. He readily admits that there are many links between his films and the work of his wife – an artist successful in her own right – and even directs his daughter as Geoffrey Rush’s love interest in The Eye of the Storm.

“When you see the film, notice how careful Rush is around her,” laughed Schepisi. “I couldn’t make the decision [to cast her], so I had the heads of departments and actors look at the contenders and they said ‘if you don’t use your daughter for this part,

you’re absolutely nuts’.”

Schepisi spent several stretches in London while making films, and fondly remembers Fulham’s Italian restaurants as regular haunts while filming Plenty with Meryl Streep and The Russia House with Sean Connery and Michelle Pfeiffer.

The Eye of the Storm will be showing as part of FilmFest Australia at the Clapham Picturehouse on 15 September and the Hackney Picturehouse on 23 September.

For more details, head to FilmFestAustralia.org.uk

Not Suitable For Children

Toomelah

For all screening and ticket information, head to FilmfestAustralia.org.uk

Clapham Picturehouse 14-16 September

Fri 14 6.45pm Not Suitable for Children European Premiere 9.15pm A Few Best Men Sat 15 6.00pm The Eye of the Storm UK Premiere 8.45pm The Goddess European Premiere Sun 16 6.00pm Life in Movement 8.15pm Toomelah

Hackney Picturehouse 21-23 September

Fri 21 6.45pm Not Suitable for Children 9.15pm Toomelah Sat 22 6.00pm Any Questions for Ben? UK Premiere 8.45pm Swerve UK Premiere Sun 23 6.00pm The Eye of the Storm 8.45pm The Hunter

Get More Movies

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travel

10 | Travel

tting This week we’re pu

Brazil

on the map

11 - 17 September 2012

n

When one of our writers left the UK shores for the wonders of South America, little did RAQUEL MESSI know of the veritable rabbit-hole she would soon be venturing down. With eyes opened wide (and a tan to boot) she regales a few tales from beautiful Brazil.

tales of a travel guide > RAQUEL MESSI

When I first looked at my South American itinerary – the La Paz to Rio leg of our trip filled me with dread. I realised I would be leading a group of tired travellers no less than five drive days through the interior of Brazil. It was something I had never done before and in my mind (and theirs) it was going to be a marathon.

Luckily the marathon turned out to be a gentle stroll punctuated with places that have quickly become some of my South American highlights! Ah Brazil, you’ve done it again.

Bonito, Bonito, Bonito!

First up on our epic trek through the Brazilian wilderness, is a town that is even more than its name suggests (‘bonito’ in Brazilian Portuguese means ‘beautiful’). Bonito is a tiny Brazilian enclave tucked away right in close to the Paraguayan and Bolivian borders.

Having an overland truck as mode of transport means that accessing this gem of a town is a doddle, alas, all I knew before hand was that Bonito is good for some inland snorkelling. Big woop!?

What I’d quickly find out though, is this is not just any snorkelling. This is Brazilian ecotourism snorkelling!

Crystal clear rivers surround this tiny town and the fish that inhabit this watery

wonderland are not at all fazed by the goggled up tourists floating above them.

The clarity of the water and the size of the fish alone are amazing, and that’s not even taking into account the picturesque countryside and the fact that you’re deep in the South American continent (a good 1700km from the nearest coastline).

After 2.2km of snorkelling down the Rio da Prata we’re greeted with a proper Brazilian feed and comfy hammocks.

In 32 degree heat, it is paradise (did I mention this is all during a ‘chilly’ Brazilian winter?).

The town itself has the ambience of a beachside paradise... which is quite unusual for somewhere so far from the sea. Actually, the only reminder you are in Brazil at all, is the people who have an eternal smile and an atmosphere so relaxed that you wake up from an afternoon nap by the pool without any of the normal guilt.

Pantanal panache

Next stop – the jungle! When you think of Brazil, the first thing that springs to

Travel | 11

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Paraty paradise

From the Pantanal to the coast – is three days travelling that will take you through some of the less stunning scenery South America has to offer - in the form of sugar cane plantations that run for 1500km. But then you come over the brink of a hill and the Atlantic Ocean greets you like an old friend. It had been five weeks since we had smelt the sea air and the drive days faded into the background. The town of Paraty lies within a massive bay containing no less than 65 islands which means there are

roughly 300 beaches to explore.

The town itself is one of the best kept secrets in Brazil. While some people will while away their time partying in Rio, this paradise is what a holiday should be. A day’s boat ride around the bay shows off what the area has to offer, and with our hosts feeding you amazing barbequed meat and buckets of caipirinhas... Heaven, anyone? The water is like a millpond, so it’s smooth sailing all day!

The town of Paraty is old world Portugal, with the original cobbles paving the Old Town so much, that my best advice is heels are a no go! The many cachaça (a Brazilian sugarcane liquor) stores have the widest variety of the national spirit in all flavours – which definitely makes for an awesome present to bring back from Brazil. Whether you are starting or finishing your journey in Rio, Paraty offers the calm before the storm or the recovery period after.

has plenty of both and a walk down Ipanema Beach on any day will confirm this!

A whole article can be written on this city so I will not try and do it justice in less than 200 words. Basically, starting or ending a trip here is to visit one of the most visually spectacular cities in the entire world (a big claim) but geographically the natural harbour and jungle covered backdrop put it up there with Cape Town and Sydney (if not above). Spend three, four, even five days here, but try not to get swallowed up - there is the world’s fifth largest country waiting just beyond the spectacular Rio boundaries and it is just begging to be discovered. I promise you, Brazil, in all its entirety will NOT disappoint.

Raquel Messi is a South American tour guide for Tucan Travel

Radical, resplendent, Rio!

When referring to Rio metaphorically as ‘the storm’ - it is in nothing other than a positive way. This city is so vibrant with life and one of the most

amazing places on Earth. Brazilians love a lot of things – though amongst their top priorities are the body beautiful and lifelong parties. Rio

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mind has to be the Amazon River and thick jungle surrounding it (which is hardly surprising as 50% of the country is covered in it). However, it does come as a surprise to most people that the second largest river in South America has a basin the size of France - an area called the Pantanal. This wetland is flat, is flooded six months of the year and is home to some of the best wildlife spotting on the continent. Couple this with some of the most diverse birdlife the world over, and it is a highlight which is missed by many.

A two day stay here in one of the lodges or ranches will do a number of things aside from testing ones tolerance of mosquitoes. It will make even the most staunch city dweller feel at one with nature. From horse riding to piranha fishing, nature hikes and night safaris, the plethora of wildlife will amaze. Sleeping in hammocks and sitting around the fire at night was definitely something I pined to do again (luckily I returned two weeks later!).

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12 | Travel

11 - 17 September 2012

n tting This week we’re pu

Scotland

While most of us headed south for the European summer, chasing sand, sun and a dose of Mediterranean hedonism, PAUL BLEAKLEY instead took off north for peace and stunning vistas.

on the map

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Dollar Review

Expected rate cut weighs in on Aussie Dollar THE Australian dollar has traded strongly over the past week, starting off at 1.53 to the British pound and 0.968 to the US dollar, strengthening to 1.52 and 0.961 respectively.

The Aussie started the week slowly as investors weighed the chances of an October rate cut by the Reserve Bank of Australia. The impact of weaker commodity prices will cause an increase of pressure on the RBA to cut interest rates further.

According to Scott Haslem, chief economist at UBS, while the domestic economy has been showing signs of stabilising; post the recent RBA cuts and government cash handouts, the big-picture fundamentals have worsened rapidly over recent weeks, as iron ore prices have fallen 40 percent and there has been a further downgrading in the outlook for China.

The Aussie picked up midweek after reports showed a decrease in unemployment for August. Whilst new figures have shown that growth has remained robust in the second quarter, market sentiment shows maintaining 1. Could the (Criteria) including brackets, be slightly smaller than the other text.

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14 | Sport

11 - 17 September 2012

Steelers wheel Australia to rugby gold It’s mate against mate Continued from p16...

to increase the (financial) support,” he said.

“But we have to go and earn that.”

Hellwig was confident the Games had made more Australians aware of the country’s leading Paralympians.

“We did a survey in 2008 and I think less than 15 per cent of people we surveyed could name a Paralympian other than Louise Sauvage,” he said.

“We will do that again soon and half a dozen names will hopefully roll off the tongue.”

The nation’s fifth placing was achieved in no small part

by Australia’s swimmers with Jacqueline Freney (eight gold medals) the leading individual medallist of the Games.

However it did not all go to plan on the final day.

British wheelchair racing star David Weir ruined Kurt Fearnley’s quest for a third straight T54 marathon title by out sprinting the field down The Mall.

Fearnley did his best to chase down Weir but ended up fading to third.

After collecting his bronze medal, Fearnley vowed to roll on to the 2016 Rio Paralympics despite his

leanest return from four Games in London.

“I don’t know whether to smile or burst into tears,” he said.

“Just exhausted. I don’t know whether I feel great or I am about to throw up.”

However the veteran was proud of the entire team’s achievements.

“This team has been sensational,” he said.

“We are a hard working team and I believe the we are the toughest and one of the best exports out of our country.”

Meanwhile, Canada’s Patrick Anderson derailed the title defence of Australia’s men’s wheelchair basketball team.

The outstanding Anderson finished with 34 points, 10 rebounds and eight assists in his team’s 64-58 win in the gold medal final.

Australia picked up two gold medals on Saturday with T38 sprinter Evan O’Hanlon completing the 100m-200m double with a world record time in the longer event.

Prue Watt maintained Australia’s run in the pool, claiming her maiden Paralympic title in the SB13 100m breaststroke a decade after first making the national team.

However the good news green and

for London Origin time

gold story of the weekend came through Australia’s wheelchair rugby team, the Steelers, who finished the Games with glory, after taking gold in the final against Canada.

The Ryley Batt-inspired Steelers crushed Canada 66-51 on Sunday to finally win gold after silvers in Sydney and Beijing.

“We have been playing the game since 1995 and it is the first time we’ve reached the pinnacle,” said national team coach Brad Dubberley.

“To have the team that we have and to come in and win single quarter of our game ... is just a huge result for the whole team.”

Dubberley hoped the victory would lift interest levels back home.

“We are getting some great attention back home and hopefully it can just go through the roof and put our Paralympic sport on the map,” he said. - AAP

Hearts of Aussie gold: Ryan McGowan the Scottish Socceroo n

With the Paralympics done and dusted, focus returns to the soccer season and the Australian players plying their trade in the UK. In the Scottish Premier League, Edinburgh’s Hearts FC defender - Aussie Ryan McGowan who made his Socceroo debut last month speaks to JONATHAN WALDHEIM about the season ahead and life in Scotland.

What are your aims and goals for the upcoming season?

Aims for this season will be to try and play as many games as I can and to keep learning and hopefully improving in each game to become a better player.

Before your Socceroo debut against Scotland last month, you represented Australia at youth level. How was that experience?

I have loved every minute of playing for Australia at youth level. From my first ever camp when I was 16 at the AIS with the Joeys to the Olympic campaign last year, any time you get a call to represent your country you jump at the chance.

Who is your favourite Aussie player of all time?

I’m not sure I would have a favourite.

Growing up it would be the likes of Harry Kewell and Mark Viduka as they both played for massive clubs overseas which was something that I wanted to aspire too. Tim Cahill is also one, due to the way he worked so

hard to get to where he is today.

Who are or were your footballing idols when growing up?

I never really had an idol as such. I just loved watching football! It wouldn’t matter who was playing, I would love watching games and picking up things from different players and different styles of play.

How do you like life in the UK and what is your favourite thing about Edinburgh?

I love life over here in Edinburgh. As a football fan it’s perfect - everyone just lives and breathes football!

Newspapers, radio, TV - everything just has football nonstop. I’m also very lucky to be able to earn a living in such a beautiful city doing something that I love. There’s not a city that I know of that has shops, bars and cafes on one side of the street and then a castle on the other! It’s just a great place to live.

There are over a 100 Aussies playing football in the UK, do you think that Australia has a bright future in soccer?

Australian football is getting better and better I think. With the A-League getting stronger and more young players coming through, not only over here but in Asia as well, it can only be a good thing. The more players we can get playing at the highest level the better.

What do you miss most about Australia?

Well living in the UK – it would have to be the nice weather. To think I used

to complain about how hot it was when I was younger compared to now, where you maybe see the sun for 10 days a year (laughs)!

What do you get up to when not training or playing?

We train near enough every day but on the days we get off, I like to go for a round of golf with a few of the boys, although I need a lot of work on my golf if I want to be considered a good golfer! I also enjoy going to the movies and just hanging out with mates - nothing too exciting!

How often do you go back to Australia?

I only normally get to head back to Australia at the end of the season depending on how long we get off but I do enjoy going back to see all my family and friends.

In your position, who do you think your game resembles the most in modern football?

I couldn’t really say a player resembles how I play to be honest I would leave that up to people who watch me to say that.

How do you feel Hearts’ chances of success are this year?

I’m hoping it we will be a very successful season. Obviously 19 May (2012) was an amazing way to end the season thumping your local rivals in the Scottish Cup Final (Hearts beat Hibernian 5-1) but this season we will have a lot younger squad which is exciting to be a part of. A club the size of Hearts must be looking to get, or be close to, second place this season with Rangers out of the league. I’m very excited to see how we get on.

Born in Australia to Scottish parentage, do you consider yourself more of a Scot than an Aussie?

I would consider myself a born and raised Australian and a proud one at that! Although I do have a Scottish background which I am proud of as well - with all my family being born here.

Thanks Ryan, congrats on your Socceroos call up and good luck for the new season!

By Phillip Browne With the Autumn Tag Rugby season in full swing across the capital at 13 different locations, attention now turns to the next representative event on the calendar - London Origin which takes place this Saturday, 15 September, at Wandsworth Common.

The London Origin series is a chance for the best Tag Rugby players in the capital to battle it out in good old State of Origin fashion; mate against mate, to see which side of the Thames reigns supreme.

The eligibility guidelines for London Origin are that if you live north of the River Thames, you qualify to represent North London.

If you live south of the Thames, you qualify to represent South London.

With North London winning the series in 2010 by one point and South London bouncing back in 2011, it will be interesting to see which side will notch up their second series win in 2012.

At the time of print, the London Origin Mixed A grade squads had been named and were as follows: North London Mixed A Grade: Patrick Wright, Thomas Parsons, Andrew Frost, Stephen Barry, Matt Ashe, Matt Rangi, Kim Parkinson ©, Shelley Niven, Rachel Chew Lee

Harrison, Jodie Bijorac, Emily Stone South London Mixed A Grade: Jay “Ringo” Wilkinson, Shun Tamura, Mark Batty, James Leggett, Alistair Davis, Matthew Picknett, Pauly Heller, Rachael Speare ©, Hannah Bizoumis, Lois Lau, Jacqui Glanfield, Alana Lynch As expected, many London Australia representatives have made the London Origin squads as well as many Great Britain & Ireland World Cup squad members, which should make for some entertaining Tag Rugby!

In other news, Try Tag Rugby turned three last week and to celebrate held a third birthday party Thames River cruise last Friday evening (7 September). The cruise was deemed a big success with 160 Tag Rugby players and friends partying away on the Thames with an after cruise party kicking on until 3am at Temple Walkabout. There were plenty of sore heads on Saturday morning.

If you would like to get involved in one of the fastest growing sports in London, new team and individual registrations are welcome. This is a great chance to develop a network of friends if you are new to London.

To register for a Try Tag Rugby competition or event, go to www. trytagrugby.com or email info@ trytagrugby.com for more details.

Swans looking up for Bolton’s 300th game Continued from p16...

happening right now is the important thing,” Longmire said.

“That’s what we’ll be concentrating on session by session this week.”

Longmire has pointed to the example of Jude Bolton - who is set to play his 300th game in the preliminary final, as inspiration for injured forward Ben McGlynn, who will be out for two to three weeks with a hamstring strain.

Longmire said he had told McGlynn to remain positive and was encouraged by his attitude, though reluctant to speculate on whether the former Hawk will play again this season.

“He was a bit more upbeat on the plane on the way home, he was already into the mindset of getting himself right and that’s a good start for him,” Longmire said. “There’s no better example than looking at Jude Bolton and what he was able to do after everyone probably thought he did his ACL. “His ability to come back and do a job for us in such a quick space of time.”

Longmire said he would wait to see who Sydney’s preliminary final opponent was before deciding whether to switch Lewis Roberts-Thomson back to the forward line.

Roberts-Thomson performed admirably down back against Adelaide in the absence of the suspended Heath Grundy, who will be available on Friday week.

He was pleased with the persistence of forward Mitch Morton, who made a significant contribution against Adelaide in his first full game for Sydney.

“I think he’s improved in a number of areas throughout the year,” Longmire said.

Longmire is convinced any hype surrounding Bolton’s milestone won’t distract his side in the preliminary final.

He pointed to wins over Hawthorn and Carlton in Adam Goodes’ 300th and Ryan O’Keefe’s 250th games respectively, as evidence of his team’s ability to focus on the result. - AAP

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Payne survives, but all over for Petero

Either Brisbane legend Petero Civoniceva or North Queensland veteran Aaron Payne were supposed to end their rugby league careers in Townsville.

But at one stage both appeared to have played their final games despite the Cowboys keeping their title tilt alive with a Matt Boweninspired 33-16 win in Saturday night’s NRL elimination final.

A sombre Broncos wondered aloud how they would “fill the void” left by a retiring Civoniceva after the five-tries-to-three win including a Michael Morgan hat-

THE

trick - drew the curtain on their colossus’ time.

In contrast, Cowboys coach Neil Henry was all smiles after Bowen celebrated game No.250 by helping North Queensland book a Friday night showdown with defending premiers Manly at Allianz Stadium.

Elsewhere the Canberra Raiders win over the Cronulla Sharks mean they will play the South Sydney Rabbitohs on Saturday, who were defeated by the Melbourne Storm. The Storm and the Canterbury Bulldogs both receive a week off. - AAP

RUBDOWN

An AFL upset for the ages

By Will Denton

There is nothing quite like the opening week of the finals. Spring is in the air, the smorgasbord of regular season footy has been trimmed down to army rations and there is still a genuine case for those clubs still in contention.

Geelong came into September in ripping form, and looked to be the only serious worry for top seeded Hawthorn (apparently it’s the Hawks flag to lose…whatever that means). The Cats were every expert’s ‘wildcard’ side, because, despite finishing outside the top four, a GF berth was not beyond them. Now, there’s a saying along the lines of ‘counting sheep before they have hatched’ as quoted by ‘special commentator’ Glen Jakovich, that seems to be about right in describing the Cats attitude towards their elimination final with rank outsiders, Fremantle.

This was going to be a formality for the Cats, as surely their experience and hard bodies would be no match for these minnows from Perth, lucky to be there in the first place, right? Wrong! The Dockers produced one of the most dominant quarters of finals footy this millennium, and the Cats were completely shell shocked.

Freo captain Matthew Pavlich was scoring at will (when he

wasn’t donating bone marrow on the bench of course) and ended up with a lazy six match winning goals. In what seemed a blink, the Cats were finished for 2012 and were left wondering what the hell just happened, just like the rest of the world.

The night before, Collingwood tried the old ‘if you cant beat ’em, beat em up’ trick against the Hawks, but after an opening quarter that looked like players might not make it out with all of their limbs, Buddy and his mates rose above the biff to towel up the Pies, get a week off and tweet #lol to the Collingwood cheer squad.

Buckley’s mob now has to face off against the Eagles after they totally destroyed North. If pub rules were in place, the Kangaroos would’ve been stripped naked, and forced to catch public transport back to the hotel, as they got completely pantsed. It was a super hot 29 degrees though, which must’ve felt like the Serengeti for them. Speaking of spectacular failures, the Crows got a touch up from a rampaging Swans outfit, as well managing to score their lowest ever total at home. They get another go this Friday night versus the Dockers, however if it’s the same result, knitting needles may be banned in Football Park forever.

Wallabies beat Springboks but much more to do Continued from p16... options coming out of their own end almost cost the home side victory.

Deans said he might have to rethink how the likes of Berrick Barnes, Quade Cooper and Kurtley Beale prepare for their kicking duties at training.

“We made our job a lot more difficult last night, our exits in the first half weren’t good enough and that’s an area we’ve put a lot of work into so we need to keep going or find another way of approaching it,” he said.

“Hopefully confidence does make a difference.

“Some of our kicking was the result of anxiety. That performance last night would have alleviated some of

the anxiety and hopefully we’ll be a bit clearer in our decision making as a result.”

Outside centre Adam AshleyCooper, who was outstanding against the Springboks, said the last thing the Wallabies wanted was for their playmakers to become indecisive.

The experienced back said the team was kicking too much and warned Argentina, like the Springboks, have the game to make them pay if they continue to execute poorly.

Ashley-Cooper praised the defensive resolve of the Wallabies in coming from behind against the Springboks and believes success in that area can rub off on other facets of their game.

The Wallabies determination was best summed up by a remarkable

double tackle from Ashley-Cooper in the second half where he managed to fell Springboks flyers Lwazi Mvovo and Jean de Villiers at the same time and shut down a try-scoring opportunity.

“It was the last 20 minutes that won us the game. Fitness got us over the line in the end,” he said.

“And desperation in defence is something we can really build on moving forward into next week and for the rest of the Championship.

“We gave the South Africans too much easy ball when it came to exiting our 22 ... and Argentina play a similar style of football in kick receives.

“It’s up to us to react and hopefully get a few more results next week.” AAP

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LONDON ORIGIN TIME

Mate against mate in Tag Rugby P14

AUSTRALIA’S 2012 PARALYMPIC TEAM HAILED ‘GREATEST EVER’

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Australia’s Paralympians have been hailed not just as the ‘inspirations of our nation’ but also as the greatest Aussie Paralympic Team ever, after a fifth place medal table finish and a sensational display at the London 2012 Paralympic Games.

Australia’s London Paralympic team has been hailed as the nation’s greatest despite the medal table suggesting otherwise.

Australia finished with 32 gold medals in London, placing them in fifth position, just one silver medal behind the Ukraine and only two gold medals behind Great Britain in third position.

Australia’s total appears modest compared to hauls from the Sydney (63) and Atlanta (42) editions.

However Australian team boss

Jason Hellwig argued the increased competition and money involved in Paralympic sport these days meant the 2012 team had to be rated the No.1.

“Sydney, you have to understand, it was a different time and a lot of evolution has happened since then,” he said.

“Sydney will always be special because of what it did and the quantum of medals.

“In terms of the quality of athlete and professionalism and focus, this

is the best Paralympic team we have ever put together.

“I hope that sets a standard for other teams. This is our standard.”

The swimming team has been the nation’s engine room, doubling its gold medal output from Beijing.

It provided 18 gold medals with the Games leading gold medallist Jacqueline Freney (eight) and Matthew Cowdrey (five) ruling the pool.

With Freney and Cowdrey good chances of going on to the 2016

Games, Hellwig believed the team was in good shape.

“It is a very young team, there is a nice potential for Rio and beyond,” he said.

He said there had been a spike in those interested in trying out Paralympic sport and the Australian Paralympic Committee had to take advantage of the goodwill the team has fostered.

“I think we are in a good position ...continued on p14

Longmire dismisses Swans’ recent history

Sydney coach John Longmire has dismissed the relevance of his team’s losing streak against potential preliminary final opponents Collingwood, the only team he has yet to beat as a senior coach.

A 29-point away win over Adelaide on Saturday has earned the Swans home advantage at ANZ Stadium on Friday week against the winner of Saturday’s CollingwoodWest Coast clash.

Sydney have lost 11 straight against Collingwood, including their last seven at ANZ, while they have won six straight against West Coast, including three out of four at the main 2000 Olympic Stadium.

While those stats might have most Sydney supporters praying for an Eagles win at the MCG, Longmire insists he’s not fussed who Sydney play.

Adelaide were the only other team apart from Collingwood Longmire hadn’t enjoyed a win against as coach.

“I really think what has happened in the past is not that relevant, it’s what ...continued on p14

Wallabies want to boot kickhappy play out

THE LAST GOODBYE Australia says farewell to London 2012 with a bang

Wallabies coach Robbie Deans is hoping Saturday night’s breakthrough win over South Africa will give his playmakers the confidence to stop being kickhappy for the remainder of the Rugby Championship.

Deans said anxiety is the main reason why Australia look to kick possession away as their first instinct, instead of looking to keep the ball in hand.

The coach was angry at grubber kicks being a regular go-to move against New Zealand and South Africa and insisted the high-risk manoeuvre was not part of the game plan.

Defensive determination handed the Wallabies a much-needed 2619 win over the Springboks in Perth, but Deans admitted poor ...continued on p15