Australian Times Weekly newspaper | 17 July 2012

17 - 23 July 2012 – Issue: 421

ROCKING OUT!

LONDON’S ZOO-TOPIA

Cold Chisel in their amazing London comeback

Exploring the wildside of the city

1 WEEK TO GO A look at some of our Aussie Olympic hopefuls

VOICES P4

ENTERTAINMENT P9

SPORT P15

COALITION THREATENS DOUBLE DISSOLUTION

n The Australian coalition has threatened to use a double dissolution election to

scrap the carbon tax, as PM Julia Gillard faces an uphill battle to stay in touch.

OPPOSITION Leader Tony Abbott has crept ahead of Julia Gillard as preferred prime minister for the first time since mid-September.

The latest Essential poll, published on Monday, said 38 per cent of voters thought he made the better prime minister - one point ahead of Ms Gillard.

It was the highest rating for Mr Abbott since September and 12 points above his rating just before the 2010 election.

While voters appear to currently favour the Opposition Leader, they don’t believe Mr Abbott’s “blood pledge” to scrap the carbon tax - however the coalition says they have no doubts it will go.

It will use a double dissolution election to abolish the Labor measure, if that’s what it takes.

Focus group research, obtained by The Australian Financial Review, suggests voters are sceptical that Mr Abbott will ever get rid of the tax if he becomes prime minister.

But senior Liberal Christopher Pyne insists the coalition is committed to repealing the tax.

“If the Senate is still controlled by the Labor Green alliance (after the next election), and they refuse to roll back the carbon tax, then we will have another election,” Mr Pyne told Sky News on Monday, referring to the ability to use a double dissolution to clear out both sides of the government and force another election.

“We are telling the Australian public right up front, we will abolish the carbon tax ... you couldn’t be any clearer than that.”

Mr Pyne said the next election, likely to

be held in late 2013, will be a referendum on the carbon tax and not Labor’s preferred ground of workplace relations.

Prime Minister Julia Gillard pushed industrial relations and jobs to the

forefront of her government’s bid for reelection in a speech to the NSW Labor conference on Sunday.

But Mr Pyne said she ignored the “elephant in the room” by not addressing

the Greens and Labor alliance.

The prime minister was just “swinging in the breeze” while the half a dozen or ...continued on p3

WATCH THE LONDON 2012 OLYMPIC GAMES LIVE ONGIANT SCREENS PLUS FREE LIVE MUSIC TOM JONES McFLY WE WILL ROCK YOU THE FEELING ST ETIENNE CAST DODGY ALEXANDRA BURKE

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SPORTS HAVE A GO ZONE ATTRACTIONS BARS 27 JULY -12 AUGUST

EVERY Australian in London has been invited to join forces with the Aussie Olympic Team for a very special preOlympic event. On Wednesday 25 July - just two days before the London Games begin - the Australian Olympic Team and the Commonwealth Bank are hoping to set a new Guinness World Record for the “Most People Wearing the Same Full Team Kit”. Our Aussie Olympic hopefuls are calling on you to “take part and help break the first World Record of the Olympics and make sure that it goes to Australia”.

“The record currently sits at 537 (set in Switzerland) but knowing how passionate our Aussie supporters are, we are sure we can beat that and at the same time show our Olympians that we’re supporting them as they strive for victory in London,” a CommBank spokesperson told Australian Times.

The Aussie Record Attempt will be held at the Windmill Pub in Clapham Common and the first 1000 people to arrive will be given “an exclusive Commonwealth Bank Aussie Supporter Kit to wear proudly on the night” which they can keep and wear for the duration of the Olympics.

“Basically we’re calling on all Australians in London to don the famous green and gold and show their ...continued on p3

GREAT FREE DAYS OUT

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Be part of an Olympic World Record attempt for Australians in London

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2 | News

17 - 23 July 2012

Why are the Poms so unhappy?

n

Having lived in the UK for some time now, I’m constantly amazed at how rude people are here. It’s quite an anomaly though, because the Brits are actually incredibly nice people. So Britons, why the sad face? the hard word Publisher: Bryce Lowry Editor: Tim Martin Production/Design: Jackie Lampard Australia Editor: Ashlea Maher Contributors: Bianca Soldani, Shannon Crane, Kate Ausburn, Sara Newman, Phill Browne, Paul Judge, Sandra Tahmasby, Amy Fallon, Rose Callaghan, Lesley Slade, Simon Kleinig, Kris Griffiths, Chris Ark, Nathan Motton, JP Breytenbach,

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WHO ARE WE? Australian Times is written and compiled by young Australian journalists living in the UK. Contributing on a volunteer basis, they are uniquely placed to reflect the interests, opinions and attitudes of our community. If you would like to join us, contact info@australiantimes.co.uk ADDRESS: Unit 7C, Commodore House Battersea Reach, London SW18 1TW TEL: 0845 456 4910 EMAIL: info@australiantimes.co.uk

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> NATHAN MOTTON

WHATEVER happened to good old fashioned customer service.

Whatever happened to a bit of general chit-chat, a bit of politeness, a bit of courtesy.

London is infamous for being, well, not very good at it.

One of the biggest cities in the world is rather more famous for being so bloody busy.

At any time of the day in any part of this city chaos abounds. The streets are manic at the best of the times, with everyone always in a desperate hurry to reach their destination. And that is why I love it.

But I desperately miss speaking to people in public.

I arrived here after spending six weeks in America, arguably the home of ‘niceness’. Friends of mine mistook this for arrogance, but they are incredibly nice people, in their unique American way.

Waiters treat you like kings because, well, they have to. The service is prompt and reliable in the most expensive restaurants and the cheapest. And while I don’t condone people being paid bugger all to carry

Your Say On: Dollar for pound, Australia’s cities are ludicrously overpriced

Australia is a gargantuan rip-off.

I know the strong dollar is partly to blame, so where are the bettervalue imports? The word from retail is persistantly doom and gloom, but they deserve it for monopolising and then frankly, taking the piss with their pricing.

And look objectively at the cost of overnight accommodation and eating out, and you can see why tourist numbers are down. I’ve been lucky enough to visit the US, UK and South Africa in the last 12 months and on leaving each place, the feeling was the same – Australia keeps clinging on to a vague quality-of-life superiority while many parts of the world live in a much more affordable and appealing reality. It’s not just the cities either, I live in ‘paradise’ (which has already mostly been paved), and a plasterboard boxhouse costing less than half a million is as rare as hen’s teeth.

Can’t wait to leave.

Andy

On: Bottling Bordeaux

Wonderful piece of writing (I’m sure I’ll revisit it when its dark & gloomy in my lunch break).

Really felt like I was there sipping wine till the early hours. I’ve been to Paris a few times, but only for short 4 day weekends and would

?

What’s your view

out their work, this scribe found that there is a sense in the country that the Americans are generally happy to speak/deal with foreigners.

But having lived in the UK for some time now, I’m constantly amazed at how rude people are here, which confuses me because the Brits are actually incredibly nice people.

They are just more shy than their Atlantic neighbours, and frankly, similar to Australians.

I’m not asking for a five-minute conversation with the guy who makes my coffee every day. I don’t need to be asked how my life is progressing when I buy my papers, nor do I need to be questioned about the ins and outs of my day when I buy a train ticket.

All I’m asking for is a simple ‘hello’. Why is it so hard? Why is it so much to ask that when I do anything in this city, that actually requires someone to say something to me, no one ever does. Ever. That’s after I’ve already said hello to them.

Whinging? Whining? Perhaps.

We are in so many ways comparably similar to our Commonwealth ‘friends’. But are they really that miserable?

The 2012 World Happiness Report found the UK in a measly 18th position of the world’s happiest

nations. Australia sits in ninth.

Despite a general link between a country’s wealth and its mood, economist and author of the World Happiness Report, Jeffrey Sachs, said the two factors were not inherently linked. So that would seem to indicate that a double-dip recession is not necessarily cause for a nations misery.

Is it the weather? A mightily depressing English summer could be to blame, a lack of vitamin D possibly. It can’t be the state of the country’s sporting prowess, because, maybe for the first time ever, Brits have something to crow about. Unlike us Aussies, who are currently suffering through a turgid state of Australian sport. Yes the standard of living is undoubtedly better Down Under, but having lived there all my life, I’m not convinced it’s as bad here as some will have you believe.

This is an adorable country full of history, mystique and glorious countryside. And it also happens to find itself alongside the continent, that other majestic wonderland full of endless possibilities.

So Britain I’m confused. Why the sad face?

move in a heartbeat. The Bordeaux wines are for me simply the best, well wait…. I am Australian so I’ll pipe up and say the Barossa do give them a run for their money. But over all, nothing beats a good meal and great bottle of Bordeaux vino.

Dean

On: Chase that feeling – Hilltop Hoods on life and being London-bound

On: Brett Lee, Shane Watson to return home early

Long way to go for a one day tour…

Frank

On: We’re not after Julian Assange: US ambassador

This Belch guy sounds as trust worthy as a fox guarding the chicken coop. Does he think we don’t read the paper? Just in the last week the US government contradicted this statement no less than two times.

Maybe he doesn’t read.

Jeremy WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is not being targeted by the United States government, US Ambassador Jeffrey Bleich says.” Oh sure, I believe that. And I also believe that pigs can fly.

Dahszil

On: An Olympic World Record attempt for Australians in London

This is a MUST ATTEND function !

Will be there from the Tour de France !

Skippy

AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices

I wish I could grow a beard…

Laker

On: A guide to Tube etiquette

1) Bags on backs – seriously, put it between your legs, there’s not enough space for it and my face likes air not canvas.

2) Leaning against a pole – poles are for hands, not backs.

And for late-night post-pub tube gymnastics (when there’s space).

3) Standing on a platform in the way of people trying to get off – I’ve resorted to holding my arms like a teapot and bashing people out the way!

Rob

On: Will and Kate honeymoon pics published by Aussie Woman’s Day

Absolutely!

Even celebrities are entitled to their privacy, and especially if there was established an unofficial media blackout beforehand. It is just another instance of some Australians giving the rest of us a bad image internationally – thanks a bunch guys!

AussieGal “

Share your comments on these and more stories online: AustralianTimes.co.uk

News | 3

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Aussie expats and Olympians unite for world record attempt Continued from p1... pride for their Aussie Olympic hopefuls.

The CommBank CAN Aussie Record Attempt will give exiled Aussies the chance to cheer on the team.

“The record attempt will be photographed and a ‘Gigapixel’ image will be posted on the Commonwealth Bank Facebook page later that week allowing you to tag yourself and prove to your mates that you’re a Guinness World Record Holder.”

There will be a host of special guests to help set the record including Olympic Medallist and Australian swimming legend Geoff Huegill who will be alongside members of the current Australian Olympic Team.

There will also be a free Aussie BBQ on the night, DJs playing Aussie tunes, competitions and prize giveaways. The event will be covered live on Channel 9’s The Today Show back in Australia so all London-based Aussies are being encouraged to come along and “wave to your friends and family back home”.

“The evening will be a celebration of all things Australian, from a full Aussie barbie to a full night of the finest Aussie music.”

Once all guests are in their team kit and ready, everyone will move on to Clapham Common for the (fingers crossed) record breaking team photograph. Doors at the

1 2 3

Windmill Pub open at 19:00 with the official team photo happening at 21:30.

For more information or to register your interest, head to Facebook.com/ CommonwealthBank/events WIN World Record VIP tickets and meet the stars Australian Times has joined forces with Commonwealth Bank to get behind our national Olympic team this summer.

To celebrate the Aussies arriving in London, we have 10 VIP tickets to give away to the CommBank CAN Aussie World Record Attempt.

The 10 lucky winners will be treated to a VIP Aussie experience on the night including meeting and greeting Aussie sporting legends; full hospitality for the evening; guaranteed places in the World Record Attempt and front row access to the best Aussie entertainment in town.

To enter, simply head to AustralianTimes.co.uk/win

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Roo industry seeking sausage market

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WHILE kangaroo steaks, silverside and rump continue to storm the globe, Queensland farmers are still desperately seeking a buyer for roo bangers.

Rural lobby group AgForce is meeting with the state and federal governments to discuss ways to manage plague populations of kangaroos and reinvigorate the kangaroo meat trade.

Since 2009, when Russia banned imports of Australian kangaroo meat due to bacterial contamination concerns, the industry has been hanging by a thread.

Many kangaroo meat processing facilities have become unviable and closed, including the Game Meat Processing (GMP) abattoir at Blackall, in central Queensland.

The industry is on its knees, GMP general manager Rex DeVantiers says.

“The reason the industry is struggling so much is because of the high Aussie dollar, a weak Euro cross-rate, high compliance costs for kangaroo shooters and the lack of new markets,” Mr DeVantiers said.

A surging population of kangaroos, estimated at 20 million, is also placing

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immense pressure on pastures.

Mike Pratt whose farm is located 140km south of Longreach is seeing visible effects.

“Our stock are competing with them for the best feed,” he said.

He estimated there could be between 8000 and 10,000 kangaroos on his property alone.

Tapping new markets for roo meat is seen as the best solution to help the struggling industry and deal with the overpopulation of kangaroos.

John Kelly, Australian Kangaroo Industry Association chief says top quality cuts of kangaroo meat - like steaks - continue to be exported to over 50 countries.

Mr Kelly says the problem is selling what is termed manufacturing meat like sausage mince - from kangaroos.

“What we desperately need is for these other meat cuts to find a new market, as this is what the Russians were buying,” he said. - AAP

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federal government, she told reporters.

But Mr Collier said her comments showed she was “completely” out of touch with WA. “Our electricity retailers have already begun distributing information directly to customers that clearly illustrates that there has been a 3.5 per cent increase in prices due to state government tariffs and a further increase of between seven and 9.13 per cent as a result of the carbon tax,” the minister said.

“The prime minister is making excuses for the fact she has introduced a tax that has her own colleagues running for cover.”

Ms Gillard could distribute information about the carbon tax” at her own cost and not at the cost of WA taxpayers”, he said.- Tim Martin with AAP

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Coalition stands by carbon tax pledge with Gillard ‘out of touch’ Continued from p1... so senior Labor figures waiting in the wings decided which one of them should take her place, he said.

Meanwhile WA Energy Minister Peter Collier says Ms Gillard has shown she is out of touch with Western Australia by telling the state to do something it has already done.

Ms Gillard on Monday accused WA Premier Colin Barnett of trying to hoodwink the public about the impact of the carbon tax, which she said would push up electricity prices by 10 per cent but would be offset by the federal government’s financial assistance.

Power bills in WA should come with an insert that explains that, she said.

Mr Barnett wasn’t taking responsibility for a 57 per cent increase in electricity prices in the state since he took power in 2008 and was instead trying to blame the

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4 | Voices

17 - 23 July 2012

It’s pissing down…still lost in london > LEXXY LUTHER

A.A Gill once said about London weather: ‘it’s been incontinent for weeks.’ A statement that has never been more true than about this particular English summer. But be warned, this is not just incontinent in the sense that you’ve laughed way too hard and a little bit of wee came out. This is like London has developed the constitution of a 93 year old with a colonoscopy bag.

Eveytime I look out the window, it’s raining. Everytime I check the iPhone weather app it’s got those little droplets of doom symbol for the next seven days (and the same temperature as Sydney’s winter…). And everytime I step out the door without my umbrella… it’s clear and dry. But then in the 4 minutes and 56 seconds from that moment (the maximum time one can travel from their home before deciding it’s not worth going back from whatever one has left behind), it will be a sudden situation of maximum leakage, minimum coverage.

As for right now, you guessed it, it’s raining.

Therefore, when the sun does make an appearance - an occurrence that’s about as rare as Gina Reinhardt at a meeting of the Socialist Alliance it’s no wonder that the population of London seem to suffer a mild form of

sunstroke-induced psychosis as soon as those vitamney D rays hit their skins.

It’s like butterflies emerging from chrysalis. Like a newborn foal taking its first steps. Or, after a particularly long spell of all-encompassing fog, like the Darkseekers from I Am Legend emerging to feast their mutant fangs on anyone displaying a slight tan. Crawling out from cracks in the building, surfacing from the cavernous Underground, disgorging out from the darkened drinking holes - inhabitants lumber and lope towards the patches of golden light shining down on parts of the pavement, and squares of grass, and here they will gather and squint, looking up in wonder at this mysterious shining ball in the sky.

Because let’s face it, with the limited time it’s up there, you have to make the most of it. The parks, in particular, are like Mount Sinai to its Chosen People. A place where, when the sun shines, you can rent deck chairs and lounge by the lakes, ride bikes round winding paths, read the paper on park benches and generally roll around in the grass like a happy farm animal murmuring ‘sunshine, my preciousssss…….’ Just make sure you take off as many clothes as possible while doing it because apparently, when the sun comes out in London, being half naked in public becomes a pre-requisite.

Walking though the park, the pub or even the street is like walking onto the set of a very low budget, poorly cast, porn movie

tube talk > SANDRA TAHMASBY

about lazy strippers who just want to spend their time sunbaking.

Basically, the only place you really don’t want to be when the sun is shining is the Tube. An encased metal tub with no air-conditioning quickly becomes some modern demonic version of a Native American sweat lodge that smells like all of London’s recently discarded incontinence diapers. It’s all you can do to keep standing upright, and try not to let your inner thigh sweat drip on your neighbours Armani briefcase. And I say neighbour, when really I could mean lover, because it’s peak hour and your boobs are pressed up against his elbow and his hand is inexplicably on your ass.

But to be fair, he may just be looking for a surface to leverage on so once the doors open he can push off and scurry more quickly out into the sunshine with the others…

AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices

Get inspired by tasty European cuisine n

Inspired by ‘mussels from Brussels’, our resident Aussie chef in London and main man of Claridge’s kitchen pops over to Europe to give us a very simple and tasty dish to share with some mates.

chris’s

kitchen > CHRIS ARK

HEADING on the Eurostar to Bruges I could only think of one thing for dinner tonight. A big bowl of juicy black mussels and frites. Not that we all need to jump on the next Eurostar train out of London to sample such European delights. The UK has some of the best and tastiest mussels on this side of the globe. Scottish rope grown mussels are highly prized in the restaurants of London and you’ll do a lot worse than serve these tasty suckers up in your kitchen.

When I think of cooking mussels at home I call friends over to join, as it is so simple to grab a large pot and the basic ingredients to complete and they make for a great sharing dish. Why would such a dish suit us Aussies over here? Well, beer - Belgian’s are famous for their amber brew - and mussels are a perfect match.

Good quality mussels can be found in the fish section of the large supermarkets, normally live and in mesh bags to keep them fresh and easy to handle.

When buying your mussels check for any cracks in the shells and discard them if you find any. There should also be the tell-tale sign of the fresh sea aroma as with all seafood. Check also for the shellfish authority tag which will tell you when the mussels were harvested and packaged.

When cooking mussels an important tip to remember is to throw out any mussels which have not opened when cooked.

Usually means they are at the end of their shell(f) life (...sorry, couldn’t resist).

Simple is best when it comes to mussels.

Mussels and tomato chili broth

Having a good helping of fresh garlic, onion, tomato, white wine and fresh basil are the perfect match. So simple and so perfect, most countries throughout Europe use the same ingredients for this gem of the ocean.

So I am going to get back to my lazy long weekend in Bruges and leave you with my classic mussel and tomato chili broth to tuck into. Oh and don’t forget a few cold pints of Belgium beer.

What you need:

• 1 kg of fresh live black mussels • ½ cup of light olive oil • 4 cloves of freshly chopped garlic • 1 small onion sliced finely • 2 medium tomatoes chopped • 1 tin of chopped tomatoes • 3 sprigs of fresh basil • 2 small freshly chopped chilies (or more if you dare!)

• ½ bottle of good quality dry white wine • 2 tsp of white sugar

What to do:

• Take a large saucepan with a lid and add a ½ cup of light olive oil on a medium heat.

15 minutes of fame for London’s Underground

Image by Food, booze and shoes

• When the oil is hot but not smoking add the mussels and garlic, chili, onion and stir.

• Add the white wine and close with the lid and cook for three minutes.

• Remove the lid and add the tomatoes and sugar. Allow the broth to cook for ten minutes. Reduce the heat and cook for five more minutes.

• Add the basil and salt and pepper to taste.

• Scoop out the mussels into large bowls and serve with freshly grilled ciabatta. Enjoy.

AustralianTimes.co.uk/voices

UNLIKE some of us still hanging to get our 15 minutes of fame, the Tube has been there and done that.

To be fair, the Tube has had more than its 15 minutes of fame, and can almost be classed as ‘Hollywood Royalty’. That’s right, this bad boy has been on the big screen more times than you may realise.

He is most definitely up there with the likes of Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman.

You may be flicking through channels on the tellie at home, watching the latest blockbuster at the cinema or singing along to your favourite film clip. It may be as quick as 5 seconds or last as long as 15 minutes but the Tube has definitely got star quality!

Already the Tube’s on-screen career is promising, illustrating many of his talents in various roles.

Lights.. Camera.. Action!

There have been some racy scenes, including A Very British Sex Scandal on Channel 4, some dance scenes with the Scissor Sisters and more recently Madonna’s music video for ‘Hung Up’!

If you’re not quite impressed just yet then the Tube has also been called up for Sony Playstation and Kellogg’s Crunchy Nut Bar commercials.

I didn’t realise how popular the London Underground was in ‘Tinsel Town’ until

STAR QUALITY: Gwyneth Paltrow and the Tube in the 2001 movie hit Sliding Doors.

I did a little research and to my surprise found that he has a stint in some of my very favourite movies, which makes my Tube crush bigger than ever!

28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, Love Actually, Bend It Like Beckham, Sherlock Holmes, The Return of Sherlock Holmes - (he even gets call backs!), Sliding Doors, Atonement (he enjoys starring alongside Keira Knightley) and the top of the list is Spice World!

He is no diva but he does demand his dressing room be kept at a sweltering temperature of 30 degrees, no rubbish bins are allowed within 100metres of him, there must be plenty of discarded newspapers left for him and most importantly he demands thousands and thousands of visitors daily.

Move over Tom Cruise and make way Brad Pitt! The Tube and I have a red carpet to walk down!

So the next time you’re channel surfing on the tellie or visiting your local cinema, keep an eye out for the next upcoming star... TUBE, MR.TUBE!

Peering at meerkats, pigs and penguins at the London Zoo bron in

the don BRONWYN SPENCER

I CAN’T remember the last time I went to a zoo, which for an animal lover seems a bit weird, so I decided to set this right and head to the London Zoo. Located in the middle of Regents Park it’s hard to believe this zoo could house so many big animals but for £23 a ticket you can go in an explore.

When we got there we were given a map of where to visit and we instantly all picked the top one thing we had to see. My personal choice was the penguins. I mean who doesn’t love penguins? They are so cute! Luckily for me they have a whole beach dedicated to the furry flippery little creatures. As I wandered around the enclosure I watched them swim and bask in the sun. One little guy was even sitting in the pool jets having a spa.

Once my friends dragged me away from the penguins (no I’m not obsessed…I promise!) we worked our way around the rest of the area. We visited the lions for feeding time and got to see the king of the jungle roar for his food. The rest of them were being pretty lazy, either that or staying out of the big guy’s way, but there were two ‘teenage’ size lions having a bit of a play. It was actually quite depressing to see these giant cats cooped up in a small enclosure but that is just the nature of zoos.

I won’t continue to list all the animals you can see but I can tell you that they certainly do have a wide variety of animals. Coming from Australia and visiting with my Kiwi buddies we were a bit surprised to see even a pig on display.

I’m a city girl and even I’ve seen one of those before! We also avoided the insects’ exhibit. Trust me, I’ve seen enough of those creepy crawlies in my lifetime growing up in Queensland. But we quickly headed to other enclosures for the

more exciting stuff - like the hippos!

The pygmy hippos are the smelliest animal you can stumble across at the zoo and we smelt them way before we saw them. They are easily forgivable though because they are actually kind of cute - in a big fat brown beasty kind of way.

We managed to be at the giraffe enclosure for the feeding time too and I’m not going to lie, this was scarier than the lions. Have you ever seen a giraffe run?

They are pretty fast and very, very big and they made it to the food pretty quickly.

Thankfully there is a moat around their enclosure and screens on the feeding platform so I wasn’t worried for long.

Apart from the cute penguins another highlight was the meerkats. They were just super cute to watch. We stood right near their enclosure for ages, watching them dig, climb and run through tunnels.

Half this time was spent waiting for one of them to stand up straight - Timon from the Lion King has a lot to answer for!

The zoo also provides different activities such as animal experiences, talks on different animal varieties and of course a few cafes, so there is plenty to do once you’re finished looking at all the animals.

It’s definitely a good day out for a sunny or even cloudy afternoon - or even a Late Night during July. And if you don’t believe me about those cute penguins you will have to go and see for yourself!

Voices | 5

AustralianTimes.co.uk

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6 | Entertainment

17 - 23 July 2012

Aussies take over THE EDINBURGH FRINGE FESTIVAL! It’s only the largest arts and cultural event on the planet! This year Fringe is being totally dominated by an influx of hilariously funny Aussie talent - with everything from bogans with bingo to Australia’s Most Wanted comedian (Chopper). Fringe 2012 is set to be full of wonders from Down Under, all just a short trip up the country to that most pleasant of places, the Scottish capital. If ever there was a time to visit Edinburgh (and get out of London during the Olympics) then Fringe is the time to do it - with four weeks of side-splittingly funny non-stop comedy and parties that

will make your head spin.

Everyone from established Fringe legends like Adam Hills and The Boy With Tape On His Face will be sharing stage space and time with those acts looking for an epic Edinburgh debut.

Check out our list of some of the best Australian artists that will be performing at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival. And don’t worry if you don’t have the time, cash or inclination to head up north - a good array of our Antipodean jokers have Fringe preview shows planned for London, so there’s no excuse to miss this cracking content.

Chopper’s guide to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival n

Many people Down Under may have never heard of that hilarious Aussie comedian Heath Franklin. But they will instantly recognise his most famous comedic character – Chopper.

We’re not talking about the real life Mark Brandon ‘Chopper’ Read (who shoots people in their knee-caps and cut his own ears off) but the “harden the f*ck up” version made famous by YouTube and The Ronnie Johns Half Hour TV show. And before he heads up to Scotland to terrorise some folk, CHOPPER has some advice for this year’s Fringe.

SO you’re thinking about going to Edinburgh during the Fringe? Nice idea! In fact, fire trucking great idea!

I’ve been a couple of times so I have given it a bit of a sniff and a good look around. My first observation, maybe don’t give it a sniff. There are a lot of breweries so there can be a strong smell in the air of stale weet-bix farts (none of this stupid weet-a-bix crap where I’m writing this from). Anyway I digress, it is definitely worth looking at, the town goes absolutely mental for a month.

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival is a monster. A giant ravenous monster that takes performers and shreds them to pieces for fun, so only the foolhardy or the truly seasoned combat veterans dare register a show there. As a punter though, it is win win, because you either get to see something well crafted that is breathtaking and life altering and that makes you feel deeply and yearn to be better or, alternatively, you see some poor bastard slowly collapsing inward from regret like a tin can in a fire to a crowd of three (two free tickets and the sound guy).

I have heard ‘statistics’ about the festival when I was last there. Even though they are probably complete BS they at least go a long way to giving you an idea of what happens.

One of them was that the population of Edinburgh goes from three hundred thousand to 1.2 million. Now, these may not be true, but it certainly that feels way. In fact unless you want to sleep in some carnie’s sock drawer you better get a place to sleep now.

Another claimed that there were 1500 shows, running almost 24 hrs a day! 500 of those were comedy shows and the average audience size was eight. Adam Hills was selling 600

tickets a night, so some poor bastard was balancing that out at the other end.

Basically Edinburgh turns in to a giant pile of monkeys with pick axes, all trying to hack their way to the top.

It’s a party, but it’s brutal.

Eating in Edinburgh is easy, just get some dude to deep fry something for you. Some places will deep fry anything for a pound, burgers, BBQ ribs, sneakers, stray pets. You name it and someone is willing to batter it. As for Haggis, tatties and neeps, screw the tatties and neeps, but haggis is good gear. Get someone to put a slab of it on a burger and then deep fry that. I had some for breakfast once with seven other types of meat and eggs. I didn’t even know there were seven types of breakfast meat, but the Scottish have found them. “But I want to eat healthy, Chopper!” Well don’t bloody come to Edinburgh then!

You can walk pretty much everywhere but if you have to get up the steep hill from the new part of town to the castle YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO GET A RICKSHAW. There is nothing better than having a wiry ginger dude pedal you up hill while you casually sit in the back making conversation that he is too breathless to reply to.

You have to go to Edinburgh for the festival, it’s amazing. But I guarantee it’s not like any other poxy festival you’ve been too. It will eat you alive if you turn your back on it. Hooroo.

When Australian Times asked Heath Franklin Chopper to describe the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in five ways, this is what he came up with:

Image by Jimmy Pizarro

Busy.

Expensive.

7 types of meat.

Enthusiastic uni theatre groups.

Couches.

Entertainment | 7

AustralianTimes.co.uk

the Fringe Festival

Bogan Bingo goes Fringe n

“All the way from the suburban backwaters of Australia and direct from a string of sell out shows in London, comes a full throttle, high octane game show with balls. It’s bingo, but don’t bring your Grandma.”

BOGAN BINGO has been a firm fixture on the alternative nightlife scene in London for sometime now, and this year the Bogans - Tim and Trev - from the backwaters of Australia are taking a step onto the world stage at the 2012 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. They’ve secured a brilliant venue (Laughing Horse) and a great time slot (21:30) for three weeks but being good Bogans they’ve seriously under estimated what it takes to get there so, lacking some serious cash, they are embarking on a fundraising campaign that they hope will raise enough to get them to the bright lights of Edinburgh and closer to that dream of Bogan world domination.

Tim and Trev have decided to auction off their famous (bingo) balls and give punters the chance to win some seriously sweet prizes by sponsoring a ball in their ‘Balls of Glory’ competition. The prizes for the raffle add up to over £3000 and have come from Stoke Travel, Wicked Campers, McGuigan Wines and The Underdog Clapham Common. But wait - there’s more!! If a company, syndicate (of mates) or even just an individual were to pledge £200 to the Bogans they’d throw in a personal thank you and probably a few over enthusiastic hugs from the boys when they come around to your place and cook a BBQ for you and three mates (London only).

They bring everything including the barbie, all food and an esky full of beers.

Barring that, they’ll be on stage as usual every Thursday night (except Fringe fest time) at the The Underdog in Clapham Common, and Bogan busking on the streets to get them by. To help the battlers out, head to wefund.com/project/bogan-bingoedinburgh-fringe/p32928/ AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

The Day the Sky Turned Black n

Among the humour and laughs at the Edinburgh Fringe Fest this year will be an inspiring and emotional story of Aussie survival that charts the horrific ‘Black Saturday’ bushfires of 2009.

Fresh from an acclaimed season at the New York, Edinburgh & Adelaide Fringe, The Day the Sky Turned Black makes a return to this year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe as part of the Best of Sydney Fringe programme. Written and performed by Ali Kennedy-Scott, the play chronicles the poignant stories of everyday heroes who fought the ‘Black Saturday’ bushfires in 2009, now known as Australia’s greatest natural disaster. As fires sweep through the tinder dry country at speed, residents prepare for the usual summer bushfire season, unaware of the magnitude of the coming fires.

By day’s end, 173 people are dead, whole towns are decimated and by week’s end, over a million acres of land are razed to the ground and arson is suspected.

Through first person narrative, intermixed with on-the spot news reports, The Day the Sky Turned Black follows the lives of five characters; among them a 6-year-old boy, an elderly woman, a newscaster and a homemaker. Inspired by interviews with survivors, journalists and a global arson expert, the play charts each character’s personal journey

from before the fire’s arrival, to their return home and the rebuilding of their lives. Their inspirational stories show the strength and courage of the human spirit when pitted against Mother Nature at her worst.

Directed by Adrian Barnes, with original music by Pat Wilson, it has been called “an uplifting work, with unexpected humour and tremendous tenderness… a powerful tribute to courage, humour amidst adversity and hope” as well as “an emotional tour-de-force and by far the best of the many one-actor shows I’ve taken in at the Fringe”.

Assembly Roxy - Downstairs, 2 – 26 August AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

A few Fringe Festival faves SAMMY J & RANDY: Fringe favourites of the highest mark, the skinny man and his purple sidekick are back with a ghost story with a twist. Legends in Australia, legends at the Fringe!

FELICITY WARD: Australian comic Felicity last came to the Fringe in 2009 and her new show The Hedgehog Dilemma garnered her awards at every single Aussie festival this year and amazing reviews in the Australian press. Her show is about human intimacy - a heartfelt and personal story, yet hilariously told - Flick talks about her break up, alcoholism and getting her life back on track after an eight year destructive relationship.

SHANE DUNDAS: A legend in the comedy world as one half of the hugely popular Umbilical Brothers, Shane Dundas has performed for the Queen at the Royal Variety

Performance, appeared at Woodstock ‘99 in front of 100,000 people, and gigged on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show with their second biggest US fan Robin Williams. But nothing has scared him as much as the leap he’s about to take into the unknown, as he performs his own solo show, Believe.

Can he do it, without the security of a double act?

The awesome Aussies of Edinburgh Fringe Festival Laughing Horse

Pleasance Dome

Bogan Bingo (21:30) Bruce Griffiths @ Jekyll & Hyde (12:30) Cameron @ Free Sisters (13:00)

Assembly Hall Jim Jefferies (21:00) Adam Hills (Times vary)

Brendon Burns (22:00)

Assembly George Sq Udderbelly Cowgate Claudia O’Doherty (19:45)

C venues C Nova

AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

Shane Dundas (22:10) Mark Little (22:20)

Pleasance Courtyard The Boy With Tape on His Face

(21:40)

Axis of Awesome (18:00)

Udderbelly Bristo Sq

Image by James Penlidis

Sammy J and Randy (18:00) Heath Franklin’s Chopper (20:50) Felicity Ward (22:00) Anne Edmonds (12:10)

Xavier Toby (18:00) Bonnie Davies (21:45)

Sweet Grassmarket Matt and Ian's Improv Show (18:15)

Gilded Balloon Asher Trevalen (16:30) Barry Morgan (20:00) Bob Downe (20:00) Celia Pacquola (19:00) Bec Hill (14:45)

Plus many, many more

8 | Entertainment

17 - 23 July 2012

Here’s laughing at you, kid WHAT do you do if you find out you’re the subject of online erotic fan fiction co-starring a famous Australian soap star? You could try to get it taken down. You could be chuffed and forward it to all your mates. Or you could create a comedy show around it which you then tour nationally before taking it to the world (including the UK!).

Lawrence Leung did the latter option and his new show Beginning.

Middle. End. has just finished in London to rapturous applause.

However before he exited London (stage left) I tracked him down in Soho to talk about his latest stage conquest; the Australian comedy scene; and how he ended up performing a gig in a hostel in the Scottish Highlands.

But first we need to get back to his new show which would have to be the most random idea for a comedy show ever.

“When I discovered this strange fan fiction about me it made me realise people see me very differently from how I want them to see me.

Audiences can take from your show what they will and adapt it into a very different way. As a comedian we define ourselves with stories but then people will take from that what they want even if it’s very weird.”

He’s a bit coy about giving away too much about the show and wants to make sure I don’t either, which is fair enough as anyone going to see it shouldn’t know what to expect.

After seeing it the night before I can vouch for that. Your expectation of how the show might pan out is very different to what happens. But would you want it any other way?

Beginning. Middle. End. is the latest addition to Lawrence’s long resume which, after pounding Australia’s comedy circuit since 2001, led to his own TV series Lawrence Leung’s Choose Your Own Adventure on ABC2. This series saw him embark on a variety of adventures surrounding his

childhood dreams.

But for now, after he’s done his time at the Soho Theatre - Lawrence will be participating in that very Australian pastime - couch surfing and a summer holiday in Europe.

“I’m going to stay in London for a few weeks with friends, I might then go somewhere where there’s sun (not England we’re guessing), then I’ll go up to Edinburgh Festival.’’

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival is the mecca for comedians who converge up there for a month of performing and partying. Although Leung’s not performing this year he has before and says it’s very intense but fun.

“It’s great to go to a place where there’s always people wanting to see your shows, and you don’t know who’s going to be in your audience.

And when you’re not performing, you’re partying.’’

Plenty of Australian’s have enjoyed success at the Edinburgh Festival and it has been a launching pad for their international career and Lawrence has a theory on why the

Aussies are so well received. “We don’t take ourselves too seriously and have this view on the world which seems to work well for people.’’

Talking about the festival and the random venues performers find themselves in gets us talking about his weirdest gig. The location? A Scottish hostel.

“The owner found out I was comic and organised for me to perform one night. He didn’t have a stage or anything so I was basically standing in the common room to a bunch of backpackers. Half of them didn’t speak English very well, other people were checking their emails in the corner and I was standing there telling jokes. It turned into a question time with people interrupting to ask questions or catch up part of the story. It was great, l loved it!”

Next time you’re at hostel and some guy starts telling jokes, listen up. You never know who it could be.

AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

Bliss N Eso are running on air in London AUSTRALIAN hip-hop group Bliss N Eso have made the big trip to London this summer for their first ever headline show in the United Kingdom.

The Bliss N Eso boys will be bringing their energetic show to The Garage in Islington tonight (Tuesday 17 July) for an intimate performance.

“We are stoked to finally be heading over to London and can't wait to finally rock out on stage for all our fans over there”, said MC Bliss.

For those less familiar with the crew, Bliss N Eso’s latest album Running on Air debuted at #1 on the Australian ARIA Album Chart and features guest appearances from the likes of Jehst, Xzibit and RZA to name a few. Their Running On Air Tour in 2011 was the highest selling Australian hip-hop tour of all time and they regularly headline Australia’s biggest festivals.

The multiplatinum Aussie hip-hop group are generally regarded as having one of the most electrifying live shows in the Southern Hemisphere and it'll be no different at The Garage tonight.

AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

What we’re following #TheShireTV

@pjhelliar #TheShireTV is making Being Lara Bingle look like Q&A. @TheNTNews NO WONDER FRODO LEFT AND CHOSE TO END UP AT MOUNT DOOM INSTEAD #theshiretv @kayleighrawrWBA If I wanted to watch trash, I’d sit and stare at my garbage bin#theshiretv. @deaneden93 Six illegal boats have just turned around and headed back to Indonesia. Thank you #theshire #TheShireTV @dassalo Just flicked over to Channel 10.

No idea what this show is, but @ChrisLilley has done it again!

His most insane characters yet!#TheShireTV Check out what we’re following today on AustralianTimes.co.uk and follow us on Twitter @AustralianTimes

What’s On Bliss N Eso 17 July @ The Garage, Islington Sneaky Sound System 21 July @ Electric Brixton BT River of Music Oceania Stage 21-22 July @ Old Royal Naval College, Greenwich Aussie Olympic Record Attempt 25 July @ Windmill Pub, Clapham Common Xavier Rudd 8 August @ Koko Darren Hayes 24 September @ IndigO2, Tame Impala 30 October @ O2 Academy, Brixton Gotye 12 November @ Hammersmith Apollo

For full details...

...and more Aussie gigs go to: AustralianTimes.co.uk/entertainment

Entertainment | 9

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Cold Chisel - a very special blast from the past Cold Chisel’s first UK gigs in almost 30 years were a phenomenal success as the Aussie rock legends served up a set of Chisel classics at the Shepherd’s Bush Empire on Wednesday and Hard Rock Calling on Friday to an army of Australian expats. For all these amazing photos and many more, head to AustralianTimes.co.uk/photo-galleries REVIEW | By Lee Harte I OFTEN wonder what kind of gigs the big acts of the past were like back in their prime. Fast and furious?

Sloppy? Would you, for instance, get into fights at the bar? Would a security guy tell you not to stand near the fire exit in 1982? Were the bar staff less like uni students and more like the gangsta mum from the Goonies?

If you saw Cold Chisel back in the day you are one of the lucky ones.

Thirty years on, the passion and potency displayed at the Shepherd’s Bush Empire was pretty darn fresh for a Wednesday night. It left me wondering what kind of dynamite they packed back in the 80s.

Cold Chisel’s punchy, bluesy, clean yet grungy Aussie ‘Pub Rock’ sound is so unique in the current climate. A simplified piano, blues crunch lead, grooving bass and drums that just sound so right together.

Now we all know that Jimmy

Barnes’ shrieking scream has become a corner stone of the Cold Chisel sound but it was Ian Moss’s crystal clear renditions of ‘My Baby’ and ‘Bow River’ that reminded the crowd of his awesome vocals and blues guitar licks (really highlighting the influences of B.B. King and Muddy Waters). Never one to back down from a challenge Barnsey came back with pitch perfect precision on (my personal highlight of the night) ‘Forever Now’.

Their voices are chalk and cheese but they provide such a colorful contrast that it’s magic when they sing with each other. Such strange stuff is this glue that holds them together. And then there’s Don Walker, the humble piano songsmith, crafting ‘Khe Sanh’ while Phil Small (bass) follows his lead with a minimalist playing style to get out of the way of both singers.

Legend has it that Mossy would wind up singing the songs Barnsey walked out on during his running battles with late drummer Steve Prestwich. Fueled

Images by Justin Ng and Australian Times

with piss and vinegar and more flammable than a gas leak at a Zippo convention they would hurl insults back and forth til the microphone and drum sticks were dropped and it was on. But fast forward to Chisel’s first gig in the UK in thirty years and the loss of Prestwich is a terrible blow but his legacy lives on in his classics ‘Flame Trees’ and the slow encore ‘When the War is Over’.

The rest of the Chisel staples were all there too - ‘Cheap Wine’, ‘You Got Nothing I Want’, ‘Four Walls’, ‘Standing on the Outside’ - all rubbing shoulders effortlessly with new additions ‘No Plans’ and the tongue in cheek Walker composition ‘Everybody’.

If the boys are playing near you again soon, put the shirt and tie away, slip on a bluey and go see them. But beware, the bar is set after that and there are precious few acts that will measure up. Long live Chisel.

travel

10 | Travel

tting This week we’re pu

Iceland ON THE MAP

17 - 23 July 2012

Go wild in Iceland n

When it comes to natural wonders, Iceland has got a lot going for it. LARA BRUNT looks at five unforgettable experiences.

THE minute you touch down in Iceland, you get the distinct feeling that there’s nowhere quite like this on earth. The country is smack bang on the MidAtlantic Ridge where two tectonic plates meet, making it a hotspot of volcanic activity – and the evidence is everywhere you look, from ancient lava fields to steaming geothermal areas.

Iceland hit the headlines in March 2010 when the Eyjafjallajökull volcano erupted, causing havoc to worldwide air traffic and newsreaders alike. This hasn’t put travellers off though. A record 600,000 visited last year, while Lonely Planet readers’ voted it 2012’s hottest destination (the hip little capital, Reykjavik, also took top honours in the city category).

While the language may be baffling, don’t let the country’s name fool you.

Glaciers and ice caps cover around 15 per cent of the country, but thanks to the Gulf Stream, Iceland is a year-round destination with cool summers and surprisingly mild winters. Midsummer temperatures hover around 12-15°C during the day, and the northerly location means the sun never fully sets at night.

The best part is you can fly from London to Reykjavik in under three hours, plus there are plenty of amazing sights close to the capital. Here are five pretty darn cool day trips:

1. Explore inside a volcano

Fancy being lowered into the heart of a volcano on a metal platform similar to those used by window cleaners?

Well, now you can! A new tour takes you deep inside the magma chamber of the Thrihnukagigur volcano, which, you’ll be happy to hear, last erupted over 4,000 years ago. The tour starts with a 45-minute hike across a lava field to the volcanic peak, about 30km outside of Reykjavik. Then you’ll be kitted out in a harness and helmet to descend 120m into the crater, before spending an hour checking out the colourful rock formations and generally contemplating your (rather

Image by Hans Strand

insignificant) place in the universe.

Inside the Volcano tours run daily until 31 July (insidethevolcano.com).

2. Hike to steaming lava fields

You can’t go to Iceland without getting close to the Eyjafjallajökull glacier and its infamous volcano. Take a guided hiking tour along the Fimmvörðuháls Pass from Skóga between the Eyjafjallajökull and Mýrdalsjökull glaciers (just don’t ask us to pronounce it). Follow the trail past impressive waterfalls, before climbing up to the spot where the 2010 eruption started. Walk a bit further, over still smouldering lava fields with (weather permitting) stunning views of the surrounding glaciers and Thórsmörk valley. The 25km round-trip takes about 8-10 hours and is challenging in parts, but definitely worth the effort.

Icelandic Mountain Guides run tours on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays until 31 August (mountainguides.is).

3. Dive between continents

Want to touch Europe with one hand and America with the other, all the while gliding through some of the purest water on the planet? You can do just that at the Silfra fissure in Thingvellir National

..

Travel | 11

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Park, a UNESCO World Heritage Site around 45 minutes outside of Reykjavik.

Here the continental tectonic plates are slowly separating by about 2cms per year; the resulting rift is filled with glacial melt water, making for 100m+ visibility and chilly temperatures of 2-4°C (don’t worry, you’ll be in a cosy dry suit). During summer you can even dive at night under the glow of the midnight sun. Not got your PADI? You can always snorkel instead.

The Sport Diving School of Iceland runs tours daily, year-round (dive.is).

4. Go snowmobiling on a glacier

For full-throttle adventure, climb aboard a snowmobile and scoot across Iceland’s second largest glacier, Langjökull.

Steering on the bumpy surface is harder than it looks, but you’ll soon get the hang of it and be itching to go faster. An hourlong ride is probably enough for all but

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the keenest, so combine with a classic Golden Circle super jeep tour which takes in Thingvellir National Park, the spouting geysers in Geysir (after which all geysers around the world are named), and the thundering Gullfoss waterfall.

The souped-up super jeeps – modified 4WDs with 38-46” tyres and a super low gear that can handle almost any terrain – are a sight in themselves.

Iceland Luxury Tours organise private tours daily, year-round (icelandluxurytours.com).

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Iceland is famous for its natural hot springs and what better way to seek one out than on horseback? Saddle up on a small and sturdy Icelandic horse – renowned for its tölt gait (a smooth running walk) and mild manners – and ride into the eerily beautiful Reykjadalur Valley (Valley of Steam). The valley is dotted with geothermal springs, bubbling brooks, and gurgling mud pots, which makes for – you guessed it – lots of steam.

The 22km round-trip from Hveragerdi, about 40 minutes from Reykjavik, involves about 5-6 hours of riding, but soaking in nature’s own jacuzzi is sure to soothe any saddle-soreness.

Artic Adventures runs tours daily until 15 September (adventures.is).

AustralianTimes.co.uk/news

12 | Travel

17 - 23 July 2012

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Jobs & Money | 13

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Dollar Review

China data props up Aussie Dollar THE Australian Dollar traded between 0.974 and 0.986 to the US Dollar between the period of the 9 July and the 16 July 2012. It traded between 1.513 and 1.523 to the British Pound over the same period.

The Aussie rose slightly against major currencies on news that the Euro-zone financial decision makers were going to be going ahead with a massive AUD30Billion bailout aid package for the struggling Spanish banks. However, this “rise” was short-lived as US markets fell and the AUD currency gains were reversed.

This weakening was confounded by a drop in employment data for June in Australia as well as a perception that China is experiencing a slowdown in economic growth. This affects Australia directly as China is its largest trade partner.

By close of trade on Monday the Australian Dollar had risen once again on the back of China’s second quarter GDP report which was released on Friday. While indicating the expected slowdown of 7.6% growth - down lizzy@heatlondon.co.uk sarah@heatlondon.co.uk

from 8.1% in the previous three months – it was better than expected.

Commonwealth Bank currency strategist Peter Dragicevich said the local currency had been even higher early on Monday, but had pared back somewhat for no apparent reason.

Besides the International Monetary Fund’s economic outlook announcement on Monday, not much Composed by Matthew Cridge of 1st Contact :: Note: The above exchange rates are based on “interbank” rates. If you want to transfer money to or from Australia then please register/login on our website, or call us on 0808 141 2335 for a live dealing rate. Make use of a Rate Notifier to send you alert when the Australian exchange rate reaches levels you are looking for.

else is expected to be influencing the currency greatly this week.

GBP/AUD: 1.522 EUR/AUD: 1.197 USD/AUD: 0.977 Exchange rates as of 09:00, 16 July 2012

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14 | Sport

17 - 23 July 2012

Queensland dream stays alive as Brumbies falter Cats on the slide as Swans rumble on Continued from p16...

"It was 100 per cent in our hands and we weren't able to do the job and you can't rely on anyone else."

Fisher rued a tentative start and suspected the pressure of taking the reward on offer played its part.

But he denied it should tarnish their amazing turnaround.

"We're an inexperienced crew and there was a level of inexperience there," he said.

"We're very dejected with our performance but reflecting on where we've come from there's a satisfaction of the ground we've made up.

"There's many more goods than bads and it's important at this time not to reflect on the bads because that can tear you apart."

Ultimately a season-ending ankle injury to playmaker Christian Lealiifano was a massive blow.

But they can also rue a missed penalty goal by Zack Holmes on fulltime in their 13-12 loss to the Reds on May 26 which would have sealed Australia's top spot.

Meanwhile Queensland will now play the Sharks in Brisbane on Saturday as the defending champions look to continue their astonishing run.

In what had been mission improbable

Continued from p16...

on the last day of the regular season, Queensland's sixth straight win means they boast the best momentum in the competition to hold legitimate hopes of back-to-back titles. - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

Aussie green jersey “killed” after “ridiculous” Tour decision Continued from p16... coming off his line in the sprint, but more significantly received a 30-point penalty.

That has blown Sagan’s green jersey lead over the Australian out to 56 before the sprint, it was down to just 24.

McEwen works with Goss on the Australian Orica-GreenEDGE team as their sprint coach, but he said regardless of his obvious bias the decision and penalty were wrong.

“I tried to be objective when I looked at the sprint and there was a little move there but not enough to warrant a disqualification,” McEwen told the letour.fr race website.

“That penalty far outweighs what they say he did ... a relegation from sixth to seventh should have been the absolute maximum.

“A 30-point penalty is a joke and its completely killed that competition.

“I’ve been disqualified before (in a Tour sprint) ... but I didn’t get penalised more points.

“I don’t know where they get that

ruling from.

“That must be a new regulation because its just ridiculous.”

A 12-time Tour stage winner and three-time winner of the green jersey

of fellow flag aspirants West Coast in Perth on Sunday night had the most impact on the top four.

With midfielders Ryan O’Keefe, Kieren Jack and Dan Hannebery starring, the victory sent the Swans top of the table.

The Eagles - pacesetters for much of the season - have now slipped to fifth.

Adelaide move to second, while Collingwood’s 31-point win over premiers Geelong at the MCG on Saturday night leaves them third.

A win further back are Hawthorn, who blitzed the Western Bulldogs in the second half for a 72-point win at Etihad Stadium on Sunday.

The fourth-placed Hawks are ahead of West Coast and Essendon, who beat Port Adelaide by 50 points on Saturday, on percentage.

Adelaide coach Brenton Sanderson was thrilled with the ruthless nature of his side’s win over the young Giants, who now slump to the foot of the table after previously winless Gold Coast’s stunning two-point win over Richmond in Cairns on Saturday night.

“From the the players’ point of view, I’m really proud of how they just kept the foot on the throat. That was really pleasing,” Sanderson said.

Geelong slip to seventh, with St Kilda leaping into the top eight with a hard-fought 13-point win over Brisbane at the Gabba on Saturday night.

Code-hopping Karmichael Hunt produced his finest moment in AFL - and one he rates among the best of his sporting career - with a goal after the siren to help Gold Coast beat Richmond.

The Tigers fell asleep, conceding two goals in the final 30 seconds to hand the Suns their first win of the season, and their first since beating Richmond in Cairns last year.

Hunt’s high-profile move from rugby league to AFL has been much criticised, but he proved how well he has adapted to the game with his pressure mark and goal.

Just below the top eight, North Melbourne belted Carlton by 53 points on Friday night to stake their finals claims.

And Fremantle survived a scare from struggling Melbourne to win by 34 points at Etihad Stadium on Saturday and join the Kangaroos on eight wins.

Both teams are just outside the top eight, trailing St Kilda on percentage.

- AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

at the race, McEwen retired from competition two months ago. - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

Steffensen racism spray a shame, say AA ATHLETICS Australia chief Dallas O’Brien says John Steffensen’s claims of racism are “regrettable” but no disciplinary action will be taken against the 400m runner.

Steffensen accused AA of racism after the sole 400m berth for the London Olympics was allocated to rising teenage star Steve Solomon.

AA said in London on Friday night that Solomon was the only runner eligible to run the 400m despite neither he or Steffensen meeting the automatic qualifying time of 45.3 seconds.

AA has the power to choose one athlete with a B qualifier in the event, a standard reached by Solomon and Steffensen, who won the national title earlier this year.

They have both already been picked for the 4x400m relay.

Commonwealth Games champion Steffensen took to Twitter to threaten a boycott of the Olympics and he went one step further in an incredible tirade on Channel Nine on Saturday morning, saying he has been racially vilified by AA. “I’ve put up with being racially vilified by this federation, being discriminated against on many teams,” he said of AA’s decision to name the 19-year-old Solomon ahead of him for the one-lap race. “...You think I waste my time running at training for fun? For this?

“No, they can have athletics. I don’t need to do this no more.”

“I don’t think it helps the legitimacy of our sport or the selection criteria, and I think it only makes our sport look stupid.

“The rules and the goalposts are getting shifted. Now they’re going to

pick who they want to put in the team.

“You know it would help if I was a different colour.

“A lot of my decisions with my federation would be totally different.

“But I’ve never brought that up. I’ve always kept quiet on that. Because people aren’t really going to want to hear that sort of stuff.

“I was going to run the relay and go home and do the right thing by the sport.

“Now I’m saying something because they’re not doing the right thing by me.

“And at age 30 and the amount of years and effort I’ve put into the sport, the medals - everything I’ve done for the sport - I deserve a little bit of respect.”

But O’Brien said AA made the call after only being allowed to nominate one Australian athlete under IAAF rules.

“We didn’t have anywhere to move,” O’Brien told Fox Sports.

“John has his own opinions. I think that’s probably a statement he may regret making in future times when things settle down.”

“It’s an emotional business this and it’s regrettable what John has said, that’s a shock.”

Solomon burst into contention for the individual run by posting a career-best 45.52s at the world junior championships in Barcelona this week.

Steffensen, who set his best time for the year of 45.61s in February in Sydney, defeated Solomon at the Olympic trial in March before suffering a hamstring injury that has plagued his London preparations. AAP

AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

COUNTDOWN TO THE

LONDON OLYMPICS 10 days to go

Unforgettable Australian Olympic moments Athens 2004: Phelps ‘Thorpedo-ed’ by greatest Aussie Olympian Ask any Australian who the greatest ever Aussie Olympian is and they will arguably name Ian Thorpe. The boy wonder won over the nation in Sydney in 2000, scooping the pool with three gold medals and two silvers. However four years later and there was a new kid on the world’s swimming blocks, Michael Phelps. In Athens for the 200m freestyle event, deemed the ‘race of the century’, Thorpe lined up against Phelps, his old rival Peter van den Hoogenband and Aussie compatriot Grant Hackett.Hoogenband was meant to sweep the pool and claim gold but it was the size 17 footed Thorpe who blew everyone away for one his most famous Olympic golds.

Steph can be surfing’s greatest: Beachley RETIRED surfing great Layne Beachley believes Stephanie Gilmore can go on to become the sport's greatest after her fifth world title win.

Gilmore regained the women's world championship by winning the penultimate event of the year in Biarritz, France on Saturday.

The 24-year-old won four straight titles from 2007-2010 but fell back to the No.3 ranking last year when her life was disrupted by a violent assault.

But after bouncing back, Beachley is confident Gilmore can go on to eclipse her women's record of seven titles and even surpass legendary men's surfer Kelly Slater, who currently has a record 11 championships to his name.

"She is still very young. She's won five world titles before I'd won one," Beachley told AAP. "You can't question her hunger and her desire and her talent. She obviously loves to win. I had no question that she was going to bounce back, it was just a matter of time.

"To bounce back as quickly as she has it's just a testament to her character and also to her tenacity.

"She's still got plenty of time to win more ... she's loving what she's doing so as long as she's in that state of mind I have little doubt that she'll smash my record and go close to equalling Kelly's."

Gilmore beat teenage Australian Tyler Wright 18.53 points to 13.10 in the final

of the Roxy Pro to take out the title with another Australian, Sally Fitzgibbons, now resigned to finish second in this year's championship.

Fitzgibbons was beaten in the quarter-finals by Hawaiian Coco Ho but Beachley believes the 21-yearold, who also finished as runner-up to Carissa Moore in the 2011 title race, will continue to be Gilmore's main obstacle in the years to come.

"My heart goes out to Sal, she's come so close so many times," Beachley said.

"It's just going to fire her up even more.

She's a tenacious competitor, she loves to win.

"She's got the desire to win a world title and I know she's never going to quit until she gets that.

"I think she's going to be Steph's major rival and to beat hungry competitors like Sally you have to be on top of your game." - AAP AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

Sport | 15

AustralianTimes.co.uk

Putney thriller snares AFL London ‘favourites’ flag Continued from p16...

(24), West London (16), North London (16), London (12) and Wimbledon (0).

Mathematically, London Swans could still make the four but would need to beat an in-form North London on their (lopsided) turf as well as topple Putney – an unlikely scenario.

At this stage, it looks like a WandsworthPutney semi-final on 4 August, while the Wildcats and North London look set to meet in the sudden-death preliminary final on 11 August.

The smart money seems to suggest Putney is on track for their first-ever AFL London crown, however top side Wandsworth, with just one loss, might have something to say about that.

This scribe saw Putney first-hand on Saturday take care of business – for the second time this year – against West London, the reigning champs.

It was a match that had it all: heavy rain, wind, brief sunshine and a hovering helicopter for the entire second term with little separating the two sides right to the end.

The Magpies led by two points at the main break, before the Cats stole the lead back to edge ahead by two at the last change.

In a tense final stanza, Putney booted

three goals to West London’s two to win it – midfielder Andrew Lawson kicking the match-winning goal with just minutes remaining.

In controversial circumstances, Magpie Luke Jackson marked 30m out in front in the final term. His kick on goal went precariously close to the right-hand goal post with the goal umpire adjudicating a goal. The kick in question came midway through the quarter and, although much action ensued before the final siren, it left many (particularly those from the home bench) to ponder ‘what if?’.

Irish giant Jimmy O’Connor dragged himself out of bed and shrugged off the flu to ruck solidly all day for the Magpies and give midfielders Lawson, Aaron Knapman, Greg Chapman and Clayton FitzGerald first use. Josh Oakley, returning to the side, was super reliable in defence.

“The club was formed in 2004 and has played in two Grand Finals but never won it,” Putney’s Mark Pitura said.

“We’re rapt with how the boys are travelling this season but there is plenty of hard work ahead.

“Saturday’s win really shows the depth we have this season with six premiership regulars unable to take the field.”

Defenders Dan Prigmore and Alex Adams were the shining lights for West

THE

Swans secretly soar to where AFL air is clear

By Will Denton

London.

In the Conference division, top three teams Shepherds Bush, Regents Park and Clapham all took the chocolates to consolidate top-four standings.

Fourth spot is still up for grabs with Hammersmith and London both locked on 12 points.

Fixtures for the last two home-andaway rounds are - Wandsworth: West London (away), North London (away); Putney: Wimbledon (home), London (home); West London: Wandsworth (home), Wimbledon (away); North London: London (home), Wimbledon (home); London: North London (away), Putney (away); Wimbledon: Putney (away), West London (home).

Who do you think will win this year’s AFL London flag? Tell us at AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

Australian athletes to watch 1 at London 2012 WEEK TO GO

WELL, well, well…what have we here then? It seems that all of a sudden without anyone even realizing, the Swans of Sydney not only have been playing matches all season, they’ve managed to win enough to be ON TOP OF THE FREAKING LADDER. There’s a whole lot of ‘blue collar’ action going on down at the Swans, proving that a team of hard working blokes with unmemorable names can crack in, have a dig and get the job done. As was the case on Sunday, when John Longmire’s men fronted up to a full house in the West, with top spot up for grabs and a chance to get a wee bit of media coverage this week back home.

Standing in their way was the Eagles, who are unfortunately more undermanned than a lesbian nightclub at the moment. Normally these contests between the two rivals are pretty close, however, the Eagles simply got overran by the Swans and the margin in the end was a gargantuan 52 points. The Eagles are definitely going to feature heavily in September, so plenty of redemption for them, provided they can manage to stop getting injured. The Swans on the other hand, were mostly fighting fit and even weeded the garden beds outside

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the ground whilst waiting for the team bus.

The other massive match that got a big build up was the Pies/Cats game, although quite possibly the golden era for Geelong is coming to a close as they got completely smashed by Collingwood. The Cats are now unlikely to even make the eight, given their tough run home.

Oh well, surely three flags in five years is enough for anyone. Oh and what about Karmicheal? You can’t make this stuff up. Mr Hunt - the league convert - played out every kids dream by kicking a goal after the siren to win a game. Richmond, ironically, were the last team to lose to the Gold Coast, and were looking for payback and more importantly, to keep their season alive. Well, its pretty much buried now, as the Suns kicked three goals in two minutes, including one after the siren and leaving Tigers coach Damian Hardwick speechless and stunned. He should be used to this by now, after all, he is the coach of Richmond. So, in a nutshell, these teams are GORN. Giants, Suns, Dees, Port. Expect this list to grow next week. For the rest, it’s still game on…

AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

The Chargers win world’s biggest Tag Rugby Festival

By Phillip Browne

STEPHANIE RICE DANIEL KELLY Women’s swimming - 200m, Men’s - Judo 400m individual medley

RUBDOWN

THE London Tag Rugby community can be extremely proud of Finsbury Park side, The Chargers who have come home with the 2012 Pig N Porter Tag Rugby champions trophy!

The Pig N Porter Tag Rugby Festival is the world’s biggest Tag Rugby tournament and for The Chargers to claim the title in their first attempt is a monumental achievement in which they can be very proud of!

The Chargers were drawn with the 2011 champions, the Bircroft Panthers from Dublin, in the pool and narrowly lost in their only defeat of the tournament. The Chargers stormed through the rest of the pool with some impressive victories and finished second of five to advance to the quarter finals.

They were drawn up against the tournament third seeds, The Wild Geese who won their pool and were made of Rugby 7s players. The Chargers were on their game with a convincing 12-0 defeat and sent a message to the other teams that they were a force to be reckoned with.

In the semi finals, The Chargers were up against second seeds, The Mighty Pie Eaters who knocked the Try Tag Rugby All-Stars out in the quarter finals. The Mighty Pie Eaters pushed The Chargers

into extra time when scores were locked up 2-2. Paula Thorn scored in extra time to hand The Chargers a rematch with the top seeds, the Bircroft Panthers in the Grand Final.

With The Chargers backs against the wall being down 2-0 with seven minutes to go in the final, they fought back like the champion side they are and managed to force the final into extra time with scores level at 2-2. With some brilliant defence from both sides it was proving tough to even make breaks but the elusiveness of Arron Lombardo sealed the match winner in fairytale style!

The other London teams, the Try Tag Rugby All-Stars (A grade) were knocked out in the quarter finals and the Try Tag Rugby All-Stars (C grade) also knocked out in the quarter finals 4-3 by Tag Me Maybe.

The next overseas tour departs on 30 August as the Try Tag Rugby AllStars look to defend their title at the 2012 Malta International Tag Rugby Festival. All welcome to tour and details found at TryTagRugby.com To register for a Try Tag Rugby competition or event, go to www. trytagrugby.com or email info@ trytagrugby.com for more details.

AustralianTimes.co.uk/sport

CHARGING TO GLORY London Aussie team win world’s biggest Tag festival P15

BRUMBIES FAIRYTALE CRUMBLES AS REDS STORM INTO SUPER FINALS

n

The Queensland Reds snuck into the Super Rugby finals to keep their championship defence alive after the ACT Brumbies produced season’s worst to stumble at final hurdle.

"THE disappointment will linger for a long time."

Assistant coach Laurie Fisher summed up the feeling for a shattered Brumbies outfit on Sunday after their fairytale Super Rugby story crumbled in 14 heart-breaking hours on the weekend.

Needing just to lose by seven points or less to the struggling Blues to make their first finals series in eight years, the Brumbies produced their worst performance of an otherwise impressive year.

They missed 33 tackles as well as four penalty goal attempts to be upset 30-16 by the Aucklanders in front of an equally disappointing home crowd of 14,000.

Devastated Brumbies players then watched as the Crusaders (beating the Force 38-24), Queensland Reds (3216 over NSW), Sharks (34-15 over the Cheetahs) and Bulls (37-20 over the Lions) all leapfrogged them with home wins.

The most costly was the Reds' fivetry victory over the Waratahs, only the second time they have recorded a bonus-point win over their arch-rivals, which stole top spot on the Australian conference.

Queensland finished equal on points with the Brumbies (58) but secured a home play-off by virtue of one more win, 11 to 10.

For the Brumbies, who won only four games in 2011 but led the conference until this season's final day, they went from the competition's good news story to the hard-luck story.

But Fisher, also an assistant coach when the ACT franchise won the 2004 title, bluntly said they didn't deserve a finals finish in the end.

"We got what we deserved in the end," he told AAP. ...continued on p14

GILMORE CAN BE GREATEST

Swans go top as Hawks and Crows fire

SYDNEY, Adelaide and Hawthorn all clambered into the AFL top four with wins on Sunday to further widen the most open premiership race in years.

Just one win separates the top six teams on the ladder after Round 16.

And now percentage looms as critical in determining the eventual top four, with Adelaide taking a huge step in the right direction with a 119-point shellacking of Greater Western Sydney in Sydney.

But the Swans’ 52-point belting ...continued on p14

McEwen slams Aussie Tour de France penalty AUSTRALIAN cycling great Robbie McEwen has slammed the Tour de France race judges, saying their ruling against Matt Goss “killed” the green jersey competition.

Goss received a heavy penalty when he and young Slovakian star Peter Sagan had a head-to-head sprint for six points at the end of Friday’s stage 12.

Goss was relegated one place ...continued on p14

Magpies, Demons eye semi showdown

By Lee Crossley

Layne Beachley hails Stephanie Gilmore after her fifth world surfing championship | P14

PUTNEY and Wandsworth all but booked AFL London semi-final berths with wins at the weekend as the London Swans saw their top-four hopes fade.

Putney beat West London in soggy conditions at Barn Elms on Saturday, 6.12 (48) to 6.8 (44), while on Sunday the Demons all but ended the Swans’ finals chances, winning their last home game at Clapham, 14.7 (91) to 7.5 (47).

In addition, North London accounted for Wimbledon at Motspur Park, 12.13 (85) to 3.3 (21) The ladder after Round 8 looks like this: Wandsworth (28 points), Putney ...continued on p15