Racing nomenclature and onomatopoeic exactas: ‘Track traditions’

FREDERIC JOHN Artist/Vendor

Try to establish, historically, how the 23-character naming system for thoroughbred horses came about, well good luck. Best shot: a leathery stable hand once wisecracked, “Horse names? I think it was King Richard III. Y’know, ‘a horse, a horse my kingdom for a… You get it, buddy? Haw-haw…”

In any event, it’s a long tradition. And the steed’s real handle is seldom as exotic or exciting as “GETDOCAGEM.” The actual name is more like “Dunk” or “Geef.” I was a novice, hangin’ around the paddocks at Bowie, or Timonium. My girlfriend at the time, who favored fake-fur vests, headbands ‘round her spikey ‘do, and an occasional cigar — she fancied numerous mispronunciations.

Instead of “Doc-a-Gem,” Más would bleat out “CAGEM, CAGEM.” I liked that plenty. More playful reconfiguration. Of course some titles were hyphenated: especially Tribal or Indigenous. “TOM-KA-WHA-MA-NI.” That sounded vaguely Faulknerian.

Now, putting two horses weirdly ‘clept’ wasn’t only entertaining; ‘twas oft financially rewarding when the exacta (First and second finishers in a given race) came in, for instance,