A Letter To My 25-Year-Old Self

Edited and compiled by Tony Inglis. Additional contributions at StreetWise from Sydney Wirtz and Jack Maddox.

As always around the festive period, INSP asks vendors across the street paper network to contribute to a collaborative feature. Since 2019 is INSP’s 25th anniversary, the resulting feature is a twist on the now-ubiquitous "Letter to My Younger Self" series made famous by The Big Issue UK (with the best of them now compiled into a book) and reworked by many INSP members. We asked each vendor to write to (or in some cases about) their 25-year-old self. For many, this meant dipping into the past. For others, it was a glimpse into the future. And for some, it was a good way to reflect on life right now. Of course, many are stories of hardship, but all of them are tales of hope.

LUISE SLAMANIG

APROPOS, SALZBURG, AUSTRIA

Today, I am very happy with how I have managed to live through life, with my own apartment and my own domain where I can simply lock the door. A warm home is worth a lot and I truly appreciate it. As a 25-year-old today, I would think this about myself: "Hopefully this will never happen to me;" or "It's not easy for her either." Perhaps my 25-yearold self would encourage me. If I were 25 now, I would perhaps be well-informed about what is going on. But with selling the street paper, I don't think that many young people would stick it out. I would advise my 25-year-old self never to give up, no matter how difficult it is. There is always a way out of a sticky situation because I have experienced it myself.

Luise Slamanig

ROBERT SMITH

STREETWISE, CHICAGO, USA

25-year-old Robert, stay committed, stay positive. Definitely stay positive. And if you do get a rejection, don’t give up and please do not curse the customer. They can have a bad day and come back nine times out of 10 and just give you money, just because they went off on you. Just keep it positive and if there’s any rejection, you know, say “have a nice day” and keep moving.

I was in a depression when I was 25. It was rough. And going through depression, I didn’t care about how I dressed, what motivated me, nothing. That would cause me to drop out of school and do stuff that’s illegal, just because. That’s part of some of the reasons I derailed from the good part of life. Basically depression.

To 25-year-olds now, embrace the moment, but always strive to do better, no matter what you do. Never give up, never. I’ve been through hard times and I have a testimony. So, if it looks like the road is hard, difficulty first, then ease. There’s nothing easy in the world, but do not give up, keep striving because you will be successful. Keep God in your life at all times.

Robert Smith

LEE A. HOLMES

STREETWISE, CHICAGO, USA

If I could go back in time and meet myself? I’d tell him, to stay focused, stay in school, and strive hard for the things that you want.

To others, be careful what you do. Be careful who you associate with. Think before you act, because your actions will come back to haunt you.

Lee A. Holmes

THURMAN LESLEY

STREETWISE, CHICAGO, USA

My name is Thurman Lesley and I am 76 years old. When I was 25, it was 1968. I was out there working two jobs and starting a family. During the week, I was a tool and die maker and a carpenter. On the weekend I took photographs. I just had to make some money. The world as a whole has gotten a little worse since then, I think. Crime is out of hand now in comparison. Everyone wants to do something slick, people are beating other people in the streets. It seems like it didn’t used to be this way. As for how my 25-year-old self would feel about me today, surprised is the word. First of all, I’m still here. I could have been dead by now. Second, I intended to be a millionaire. Not to mention at that time I was so busy working that I didn’t know anything about street papers so that would surely be a surprise.

My advice for 25-year-olds today is to save as much money as you can and invest it wisely. That can go a long way as you get older.

Thurman Lesley

MAXIME VALCOURT

L'ITINÉRAIRE, MONTREAL, CANADA

I turned 25 in 1987. It was a happier time back then. People were having fun. I was listening to Led Zeppelin, the Stones, Pink Floyd and some great Québécois bands like Offenbach, Harmonium, and Cano. I would go dancing in clubs. Seems the 80s were the good times. Plenty of parties, disco too. The fun lasted till the year 2000. Then everything went downhill. Drugs and alcohol took their toll.

To my 25-year-old self: It’s true, you’re having fun. You’re young, you’re healthy. But it’s not going to last. You will get sick. There will be hospitalizations, detox, therapies. The fun will be gone. If you stop doing stupid things and hanging out with the wrong people, you can find a good job. you might even get to travel and lead a good life.

Hey! You’re an honest guy! You’re a hard worker. You did OK compared to others not as lucky as you. Thank God you are now clean and sober! You are empathetic because you’ve been there and back. You’ve got a mini-van, you’re L’Itinéraire’s top seller. You did good! I’m happy for you.

To all 25-year-olds: You can do it! Work hard, look ahead. If you need help, there are a lot of resources out there for you.

Maxime Valcourt

ANN WARKE

THE BIG ISSUE UK, LONDON, UK

You are going to make mistakes! Like everyone does, don’t be too hard on yourself, it will help you understand people and their mistakes. And please don’t allow friends, family and society to make you feel small because you didn’t live your life the way they expected! Live your life your way, like you’re going to do, and try hard not to worry too much. You will be liked and loved.

Ann Warke

DARYL

THE BIG ISSUE AUSTRALIA

I found out about The Big Issue just after I turned 25. I started selling the street paper when I turned 26, back in 2004. Facing long term unemployment and living by myself, unfortunately a lot of people would tell you it gets a bit hard to cover all your living expenses. I was behind on my rent, and back then due to a lack of experience, qualifications, skills, and having no proper transport, my job prospects were very low. I decided to work for The Big Issue to pay the bills.

If my 25-year-old self saw me, he’d probably be shocked at my appearance! These days I’m clean shaven, but back then I wasn’t. I had a big beard, and if you’d even suggest for me to trim it, I would say no! My dress is different; the way I present myself now is completely different.

If I could go back and speak to my 25-year-old self, I’d say that you think you know a lot, but you don’t. You’re actually quite naive. You’ve got a lot of growing up to do, a lot of personality to develop. Even though you might think you’re smart, like a lot of people in your age demographic, you’re not. There are other people your age who are a lot more switched on then you are, so you’ve got a long way to go!

Daryl

JOHN HAGAN

STREETWISE, CHICAGO, USA

My name is John Hagan and I am 49 years old.

My vendor locations are in the Loop, Lincoln Square, and on Sundays at Old Saint Patrick’s Catholic Church. I turned 25 in the year 1995. When I was 25 years old, the world seemed easier. For example, a lot of things that are expensive now, weren’t expensive then. If my 25 year old self were to look at me today, he would think that I have really grown up. When I was younger, I was very naive. I didn’t know much about street papers in my 20s. I knew what StreetWise was, but I thought that it was just organized panhandling. I didn’t realize that it was actually a professional way to earn an income. My advice to current 25-yearolds is to give opportunities like StreetWise a chance. This is a way to supplement your income. StreetWise is different than other jobs because everyday is payday. Another important piece of advice that I would give to new StreetWise vendors is to learn to budget your money.

JOHN HAGAN

ANTONIO MUNGUÍA

MI VALEDOR, MEXICO CITY, MEXICO

“What we can fix since yesterday?”

Hello! My dear Antonio, I come from the year 2019, I congratulate you for having begun working at this mall that we like so much. I am doing well.

Surely you will ask yourself, what have we dedicated ourselves to in the last year, given our taste in reading and culture? We are now working in a cultural magazine, not only do we sell and promote it, we also take photos and all of a sudden we write. Very often we go to museums, galleries, book fairs, exhibitions and presentations. I know that you like all of this, and that you would like even more the fact that, in your work, they have done these type of events. It is good that you feel proud to be a part of this project and that now you know how to get ahead from nothing, earning yourself the respect, and perhaps the admiration, of people.

Please do not put in a broken bag everything that makes you unique, as well as the advice of your parents, who were always loving you and your sister, until the last of their sighs, and now they are stars.

Be prepared to shed many tears, since each one will be worth it, just like every drop of sweat. With all my devotion to you, evolving from my own past, for one of your many futures.

ANTONIO MUNGUÍA

BOJAN VULOVIĆ

LICEULICE, BELGRADE, SERBIA

When I was 25 I was maybe a bit more hardworking, resourceful and also a bit cleverer than I am now. But, my music taste has stayed the same – I still adore classical music.

My advice to all young people is: brains over brawn. Invest in your mind when the time is right so you have less regrets later.

BOJAN VULOVIĆ

MARIA JAMES

ONE STEP AWAY, PHILADELPHIA, USA

Welcome to being 25 years old! You have two very beautiful daughters. You’re separated from your husband, the father of both daughters. You dream of getting back together but you know in the back of your mind it won’t happen. The children will miss him and suffer the most but they are a part of you too and you feel their pain. You have each other and love each other very much, so that’s all that matters.

You enjoy time alone now since they started school and now it’s time to think about your future too. First you will get your diploma and learn a job skill. You like clerical work, so that’s your next plan, which is successful.

You also notice parenting is becoming more a responsibility so you have to be mom and dad. You’re alone, completely alone with two daughters, and it’s harder than you thought it ever would be. Where is this husband? Has he abandoned us completely? You feel sorry for the girls but they are very young so they don’t understand completely yet and now it’s time to begin letting go and living again.

The campus is a nice place to do this and that’s where we live. In University City you meet all nationalities and there’s nice parks for the children. They have an excellent school program and day care. You meet new friends. You’re too busy to think about anything else.

MARIA JAMES

GABRIEL RUSZNYAK

TROTT-WAR, STUTTGART, GERMANY

When I’m 25, I would like to find a good job, a nice wife, a nice flat, and a nice car (laughs). I did a threeyear long traineeship with a car mechanic in Rimavská Sobota. I want to work in Germany, but before that I want to learn more German because it’s difficult to find work without speaking the language.

GABRIEL RUSZNYAK

STEVE ZEUNER

STRAßENKREUZER, NUREMBERG, GERMANY

In 2004, I was 25 years old. I had a more realistic picture of the world than I did at 18. I wasn’t as naive as I had been. Basically, you’re not a child anymore and you can’t behave like one when you're a young adult. I already felt more comfortable in life than I did before.

My 25-year-old self would be fairly proud of who I am now. At that time, I didn’t have very high expectations for my future and what I wanted to achieve. As a 25-year-old, I also wouldn't have guessed that I’d have so many responsibilities in the future, like I do in my position as a spokesperson for Straßenkreuzer vendors [at the street paper, vendors choose a representative to be their spokesperson every two years].

I’ve been selling Straßenkreuzer since I was 18. Therefore, at 25, I already thought that it was a really good thing, I had a really positive opinion about the organization. But at that age, I wouldn’t have thought that working as a vendor in the future would have helped me this much.

25-year-olds should start to be realistic and move away from their childish naivety. Apart from that, it’s important to always be on the ball, always go to work. Also, they shouldn't worry about improving themselves and being successful, they should be courageous in life and trust themselves.

STEVE ZEUNER

MARIA DRANGOU

SHEDIA, ATHENS, GREECE

Hello, 25-year-old girl!! I am writing this letter to you after 28 years. It’s been a long time, and a lot of things have happened that nowadays help me to face you with more love and understanding.

After so much time and through the experience I have gained as a middle-aged woman, I can see clearly your faults both professionally and personally. But at this moment, I am not here to judge you. The only thing I will tell you is that I appreciate and love you exactly as you are. I am certain that if the conditions in your life, your upbringing and the environment in which you lived were different, then you would have made other choices.

I want to tell you that life is in front of you and that you can achieve whatever you choose. You can dream of and envisage a better future. Don’t be afraid of claiming whatever you want. Everything is possible in this life, as long as you know what exactly we want and to do our best so as to realize it.

Always bear in mind that you are a perfect creation and that your existence on Earth is not accidental. Your mission is to discover your destination and to follow your own path. There, you will meet a lot of fellow travellers. Learn to love and to share your life with these people, because they are your best friends and teachers. Because no one can succeed alone. We need each other. Finally, I want to encourage you so that every moment in life is worthy. Life is so beautiful that you will never have your fill and, as you live it, it seems to you more and more fantastic. So, never give up. Enjoy whatever life offers you. Be glad.

MARIA DRANGOU

FREDERICKA BOWMAN

STREETWISE, CHICAGO, USA

My name is Fredericka and I am 55 years old. I was 25 in 1989 and things were definitely different back then. When I was 25 I was all over the place. I had a lot of friends and we did everything together, I didn’t miss out on anything. The 25-year-old version of myself would be proud of who I am today because I am 24 years clean and sober. I’ve worked hard at that and am very proud of myself for it. When I was that age, I didn’t know much about street papers but I know that learning as much as possible through the news in any form is important for all 25-year-olds as individuals rising into adulthood. The advice that I have for all 25-year-olds today would be to stay away from drugs. They can cause all sorts of problems and get in the way of a lot of opportunities.

FREDERICKA BOWMAN

A. ALLEN

STREETWISE, CHICAGO, USA

Take it easy, don’t rush things. I was rushing through life. At 25 it looks like you’re going to live forever and everything is immediate… You try to get more really quick, so you have more fun. But actually, you should have just taken a little time out and been able to step back and learn that life is not like that and you have to take responsibility for the things you do. And that’s one of the things that selling papers for StreetWise has taught me: to be responsible and to take care of myself.

My 25-year-old self would not even recognise me… I’m celebrating 10 years of sobriety and 25-year-old me would have never thought that I would be sober. Never, ever thought that I would be sober. I was looking to die young, so my 25-year-old self could not fathom me now, being sober for 10 years.

My advice for 25-year-olds is to not waste your life away, to try to be productive, try to do something for yourself and do something for someone else.

A. Allen

KJETIL JOHNSEN

ASFALT, STAVANGER, NORWAY

You took your guitar and got on a plane to Seattle at the age of 25. In the USA, hopefully your music career would get up to speed. The experience with drugs was already there, and together with your friend you soon discovered that the heroin was thick as tar in Seattle, and – boom! You were hooked. I would tell you not to be so cocky. A lot of good musicians went down the drain because of heroin, and you were no better. The world was easy back then, and you were always told you had a talent for songwriting. If you had seen a picture of what you look like now, you would have thought, "I'm as rock 'n' roll as a 53-year-old as I am now!"

I was only a musician at the age of 25, and have only experience in giving advice to other musicians. You’re too young, too headstrong - come on. Don’t follow my footsteps: you end up shot at, stabbed and beaten before you get out of bed. Run while you can. And dress as you please, wear whatever you want! Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, is this me today? Seize the day.

KJETIL JOHNSEN

TAUBI

KRALJI ULICE, LJUBLJANA, SLOVENIA

My dear Taubi,

Do you remember last night's needle in the park? Probably not, you were so damn stoned. I'm not going to tell you that you should stop doing drugs. No. You'll get it in a few years’ time. Question is, why was that needle so important to you since you were already buzzed? Taubi, you're a jackass. You were in such a rush that you left the dirty needle on the ground in front of the bench. What if a kid found it and got pricked on it? No, you didn’t think about that, because you could hardly think at all. And if he got infected? Hepatitis? HIV? AIDS? Don't know about them? Well, you will soon, but some divine force will love you so much you won't get personal with any of them. Even though you don’t give a shit about anything, especially not about yourself.

What did you eat yesterday, Taubi? What are you going to eat today? Will you be surfing the trashcans again? Go ahead. Don't be hungry. However, this will change over time. The time will come when you’ll have your own room and you will not be sleeping on benches in parks or in cellars anymore. You will have your own food. And don't think about suicide anymore, because you’ll never be successful at it. Instead try remembering every moment of your shitty life. Every stupid thing you’ve done - especially the hardest – and every beautiful moment.

Do you remember your girlfriend? You would do anything for her. No? She'll occupy your head again in years to come. I know I'm already getting on your nerves because I know you get pissed off at every moral lesson you hear. And you still will when you reach my age.

You’ll go to prison shortly. Be smart. I know very well who you are because I was you at that time. Don't act out behind bars. Be quiet and obedient, you’ll make it easier for yourself. I just got out of prison recently and it was a completely different experience from your time inside. Well, times are changing. However, foolish actions teach you good and hard life lessons. You will only get to realize this later.

P.S. If you’ve got balls, save this letter and read it again when you are 50 years old. For you will lose everything in your life but keep this letter as your own eyes.

TAUBI