Figure Skater Adam Rippon Faces food insecurity, sexuality, and the challenges of being a queer role model

by Thomas Virgl

Figure skater Adam Rippon graced the Music Box Theater stage to discuss his memoir, “Beautiful on the Outside,” in an recent official Q and A. The conversation centered on how he structured the book, representing sexuality, being a role model, and what the book meant to him.

Rippon earned a number of achievements as a figure skater. He won the 2010 Four Continents Championships, the 2016 U.S. National Championships and was part of the U.S. team that won a bronze medal at the 2018 Winter Olympics. That same year, he won NBC's "Dancing With The Stars."

As a personal account of his life, Rippon wanted the book to describe what he had learned throughout his career.

“It was a way to process everything I’ve gone through...I wanted to share the lessons and things that I’ve learned,” Rippon said.

There are quite a few lessons and stories to be discovered in “Beautiful on the Outside,” particularly about self-discovery and overcoming hardships. Rippon was food-insecure while also participating in his regular training regimen.

“I had just enough to pay for my ice, my phone, my car, and my gym membership with an unlimited supply of green apples. If I went out to dinner once or had an unexpected expense, it was all over,” Rippon wrote.

In the book, Rippon wrote about how he had to train and take lessons; money from competitions was his only source of income. However, while most of the money came from what he won at competitions, it went right back into his expenses for figure skating. The only way he could be financially independent without cutting time from his training was to be food-insecure.

For most of his life, his mother was responsible for funding his skating. However, because they lived far apart at the time so he could train, and he was 22, Rippon wanted to be on his own.

”I wanted independence from my mom. It didn’t go down the way I wanted it to, but now I got it. All of this started because I wanted to prove to myself that I was an adult and that I was strong. I never meant to hurt my mom, but it was hurting me more to feel like my skating was ruining my family’s life,” Rippon wrote.

Throughout his struggle with finances, Rippon had many differing methods of obtaining food. He had to take advantage of his resources.

“The resort had free green apples and TAZO tea in the lobby, and I would stuff as many into my backpack as I possibly could, and that is what I ate for weeks because the only thing I could afford was anything free,” Rippon wrote.

Although most of the book is written in Rippon’s signature tone (charming with an unapologetic sense of humor), he does not, in any way, undermine the struggles he went through. Along with food insecurity, there was another major issue Rippon was dealing with: his sexuality. Rippon detailed his struggles in his book, and made sure he did it without sugarcoating any significant details.

“I wanted to make sure LGBT+ youth heard my story loud and clear...there were moments that I had nothing, and moments where I had nothing to lose,” Rippon said.

He highlighted both the hardships and the unique experiences he had growing up and discovering that he was gay. One of the details he highlighted was his coming-out process.

“The one thing I didn’t want to be was gay. My family was always accepting of gay people, I knew gay people growing up, and I certainly worked with some in figure skating. But I always thought, that’s not me. It just can’t be me. I can’t be this thing that people made fun of me for when I was little. I can’t be this thing I

know isn’t accepted in my area,” Rippon wrote.

Rippon mentioned that although a lot of these dark thoughts were in his head, nothing bad happened to him when he came out.

“Even when the hate isn’t directed explicitly towards you, you can feel it in the air, like some corrosive mist you can’t wash off,” Rippon wrote.

Highlighting experiences he wrote about during the Q&A, Rippon said that above all, he sought to be the role model that he always wanted when he was growing up.

“I wish that somebody had spoken up. I wanted to make sure that I always spoke up...I tried to say the things I wish somebody had said to me when I was younger. It’s the way I try to act every day of my life,” Rippon said. www.streetwise.org 13