EGO DEATH

BELONGING IN THE BIBLE BELT

Imagine from the very beginning you’re doomed, From the outside, normalcy is assumed.

I will never face adversity for the color of my skin, But rather for the beliefs of my kin. Born and raised in Georgia I’ve always felt: How will I ever belong in the Bible Belt?

I was reciting Hebrew words from when I was two,

It’s something in pre-school we were taught to do. Nobody warned us or put doubt in our mind, That the rest of the world might not be so kind. How will I ever belong in the Bible Belt?

In 2020 we saw rage throughout nations, Suddenly, everyone was an expert on race relations. 11 dead at the Tree of Life Synagogue and barely a sound, Dare mention your opinion on Israel and they’ll come back around. Will I ever belong in the Bible Belt?

But you don’t look Jewish! Do you speak Jewish? Just take a joke! Where are your horns? You’re pretty for a Jew! Are you going to pick up that penny? It was so long ago!

Will I ever belong in the Bible Belt? I have traveled to nine countries and For every architecturally astounding cathedral that’s been standing for a century, Comes a Jewish graveyard or memorial many will oversee. There is a recent book in our history titled “People Love Dead Jews,” A series of essays investigating our narrative centered around heartbreaking views.

Will I ever belong outside of the Bible Belt?

As morbid as it sounds, there is a goal, and This notion does not mean we stop honoring those we have lost. If anything, they deserve more recognition no matter the cost. To me, it means that we never make the front page for anything but tragedy,

Even the neo-nazi’s still roam free. Will I ever belong in media praise?

This constant battle remains, and The fight between the brushing off of anti-semitic events And the oversaturation of our character with grief presents A unique paradox in which I persist.

Sometimes the most courageous thing one can do is exist.

Without shame, without fear. Is belonging near?

To fight for those who no longer can is what we must do. To educate instead of argue.

To practice and express unapologetically,

Is what I will remind myself to do repeatedly. When I belong in the Bible Belt.

Content Director: Madison Taylor Content Assistants: Blake Campbell, Lindsay Bolinger, Abigail Mapel, Eli Huszagh Styling: Courtney Devilla, Rachel Egan Beauty: Elizabeth Kish, Carly Judenberg Photography: Jocelyn Peña Videography: Stephanie Lopez Writing: Claudia Butler Layout: Sydney Burton, Emma Fender, Sarah Orji, Jomarie Cortese, Nastasia Rozenberg

Limited Hardened Obsessive Selfish Detached

I view this part of me in quiet reverence, fearful of awakening its darkness. This part of me, the portion in which I now fear, grows within, unchecked by the surrounding world. In fact, this selfish world, one guided by theories of ownership and self-service, feeds this ego. This world nurtures the ego beyond all control, or so I perceive. Every aspect, every choice until this point, has been guided under this influence.

L i m i t e d Hardened Obsessive S e l f -

I feel this ego weighing me, trying to succumb to my spirit. Ego wrestles within me, driving my body into a world of ownership, of selfishness. I do not care about others, for every motion drives my body forward, serving my desires without consideration for those around me.

L i m i t e d H a r d e n e d O b s e s s -

In a smaller, more covert realm of my consciousness, I recognize this hellish place as my driving force. I feel called by a deeper part of my body, a place beyond bone, muscle and tissue. This calling awakens my consciousness, longing to break free from these guiding principles. I listen to the voice as it calls me to finally awaken to discover the glimmer of light overshadowed by the darkness. This light exists beneath the deep darkness, almost crushed with time spent driven by the Ego.

L i m i t e d H a r d -

I commit to this light, to this spirit dwelling within me. This time, I choose to detach myself from the obsessive, excessive, self-fulfilling world and embark on this journey to embrace the Soul. I desperately desire to feed this part of my being, to bring forth this magical light so it might vandalize the world. Once fed, The Soul breaks through the evils I have taken comfort in and exposes empathetic stewardship within me, creating a more actualized Self.

WAKE UP, THERE IS WORK to be done. "

As if called by another world, I feel directionally pulled. Something, somewhere deep within me is asking me to wake up. Wake up? My eyes are open, and I reach around, my senses taking in the world around me. I am awake. I can touch, feel, smell, hear and see. Touch. Feel. Smell. Hear. See. What’s missing? How could I possibly satisfy this mysterious voice echoing throughout my being?

And work? What work needs to be done? Anxiously, I fly through my daily tasks, checking each one off with ease. There is nothing left to do; I have finished everything. Actually, I am considering rest after a long, productive day. Yes... rest, maybe this feeling will leave with rest. I venture to my comfort, still aware of the deep, unsettling voice calling me so loudly to do the opposite, to stay awake instead of rest. Nevertheless, I close my eyes, dispelling all thoughts from my consciousness.

Unknowingly, I am meditating. I am actively relinquishing all thoughts. The swirling confusion silences, and I am left with a darkness, a nothing-ness. That is, until I try searching for the voice. Keeping my mind clear, I investigate the inner workings of my body. Starting at my root, my consciousness follows a pole driven upwards within my core. Traveling up the beam of light, my attention resides in my belly, then my chest, passing my throat, before finally reaching the crown of my head. All throughout this beam, I feel a particular lightness, unlike anything I’ve experienced before. As if energized by a power outside of my consciousness, this energy flows continuously through me.

Suddenly, I know what needs to be done. I have finally woken while deep in my mediation. Just like the voice said, I must commit to active work. I must feed this energy, this Soul. I must heal this inner part of myself so I may access it freely. I must feed my Soul until it is overflowing with light and positivity, seeping outside of my being, sweeping throughout my world, and calling other’s attention.

I awake, ready for work to be done.

Beware commercialization, for he wishes to make a product of you. Advertisements will say the journey won’t pursue Without this thing, maybe even that one too. Look out for untrustworthy sources, Making a game of these spiritual forces. They just want to sell you courses.

Courses on spirituality, as if there is a magical key, Ignoring the significance of a personal journey. With no mention of shadow work, or energy,

These faux authorities claim to know your needs. They will sell you crystals, cards, all kinds of misleads, But you know best, you know what feeds

That Soul energy that you so desperately seek. So, don’t fall for these tricks, for each journey is unique. Ignore the fifteen second video online. This journey is solely yours by design.