SINCERELY YOURS, THE IDENTITY CLUB

“You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question?” - Brian Johnson, “The Breakfast Club” Who are you? What are you? Pick a box and put yourself in it — and don’t you dare try to come out. Society pesters you to label yourself because it makes your existence more palatable. When you claim a word you think describes you, you brand yourself with a classification that people can wield to prematurely judge you based on their own biases. You begin to live this chosen identity and stop being cognizant of your complexities; however, you are too multifaceted to be solely defined by societal terms.

Every label and box bears restrictive beliefs we may not be conscious of. Before you know it, you may find yourself submerged in the depths of jumbled identifiers, fruitlessly grasping for individuality. The unnecessary labels anchor you down, causing you to have a limited view of yourself and others. The box is an algorithmic way of understanding people, but no one fits inside just one. Nerd, jock, gay, straight, pretty, ugly, skinny, fat, introverted, outgoing — we’ve all heard these descriptors, more often than not in a malignant manner. What is just a word can metamorphose into munitions, deployed to create and reinforce insecurities, stereotypes and stigma. Homosexual men do not exist to entertain society with their flamboyancy. Academics do not exist to be pitiable automatons, deemed incapable of desiring a life being the classroom. There is more than one path to personifying a particular characteristic.

We have been trained to accept these cut-and-dried illustrations because they make people predictable. No one should feel like a fraud for emerging from the chrysalis of an outdated characteristic and choosing to embody a new identity. It is not a design flaw; it is wiser than perpetual sameness. Our brains may be wired to incessantly search for shortcuts, but human beings will never fit into pretty little packages. We can be anxious and relaxed; pensive and lighthearted; introverted and extroverted; creative and analytical — contradictory characteristics complete us.

But how can we extend grace to ourselves and others when we are compelled to fit the mold? There are no step-by-step instructions guaranteed to help us shed the characterizations that have been imposed upon us. However, we can begin to navigate this unpredictable process by tuning in to the innermost parts of ourselves. Start by asking yourself the following questions: What labels do you claim? Do those labels represent how others see you, or how you see yourself? Do those labels serve you, or do you serve them? Despite these questions’ potential to propel you into an existential crisis, you owe yourself an answer to them. Once you externalize what does not serve you, a living, breathing soul can flourish from a previously barren landscape of lifeless identifiers. The human experience is not stagnant: Identity development is a never-ending process. Changing your beliefs about yourself can allow you to see the kaleidoscopic spirit you were burying below the unnecessary labels. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for being who you are, and you shouldn’t feel coerced into inhibiting your ingenuity. Your individuality is not anyone else’s to speculate on: Strut through the field of authenticity and raise your fist indignantly. Most importantly, don’t you forget about yourself.