Sacred Conversations:a way to listen in the face of difference

bring parishioners together to discuss difficult issues

Participants are learning to practice holy listening

During Lent and Easter of this year, St. Stephen’s clergy hosted a series of Sacred Conversations, part of my ongoing Episcopal Church Foundation fellowship project. In the long term, this project intends to create space for people within the broad tent of St. Stephen’s Church to converse with one another across lines of difference, talking directly about the tensions within the community rather than speaking around them, and seeking reconciliation across these lines. This spring, though, the conversations focused on building parishioners’ skills for this work. Together, we are learning how to speak honestly and openly about that which is challenging and uncomfortable and which causes us pain.

The first scheduled conversations of the series addressed four topics: St. Stephen’s “elephants in the room,” including the financial reality of the parish; ongoing staff and clergy turnover; and the pandemic and its effect on the parish. During these conversations, participants were able to bravely share their individual experiences, anxieties, and wonderings about each topic. We discovered both opposing narratives and common ground! And most importantly, many participants shared a sense of healing, facilitated by the experience of being truly heard by their peers in faith.

In Eastertide, we gathered again for the second half of our sessions. The first three gatherings asked participants to reflect on their beliefs about the Bible; Jesus; and the Church and ministry. Our final gathering asked, “Where do we go from here?” While these conversations were less emotionally charged than those which took place in Lent, their content was also more diverse. We were reminded that St. Stephen’s really is a broad, big-tent parish—we contain the full spectrum of theological, social, and political thought among our many members. We practiced listening and honoring one another, even as we disagreed—truly holy work.

We also held some “spontaneous” Sacred Conversations. One addressed the anxieties and realities of gun violence in the United States and opened in response to the May shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. Another held space for former teachers, parents, and lay supporters of St. Stephen’s Preschool to re-gather and process the temporary closing of the school. In both cases, our sense of community deepened as we heard and cared for one another.

The work of truth-telling is difficult—and it is also the most steady path to deeper relationship and connection in the Body of Christ. Sacred Conversations will continue this fall, both in scheduled and spontaneous capacities, as our community continues to connect and to respond to the changes and chances of this world. In all, it has been a great privilege to see how the format of these conversations is slowly becoming more and more a part of the culture of how we relate to one another in this parish. May it ever be so.

By Cate Anthony

Sunday morning parent group returns

Many Parents, One Vine meets at 10:10 a.m.

Several years ago, St. Stephen’s began offering a group on Sunday mornings especially for parents, a group that has not met since the pandemic. This fall, “Many Parents, One Vine” will resume on Sunday mornings at 10:10 a.m. in Room 14. This staff-led parenting support group addresses topics relevant to family life today. This is a space to grow in faith and connect with other parents in mutual affirmation. Raising children takes a village; together, connected to the vine, we are stronger parents. Staff members and guest speakers will facilitate the Sunday sessions with an opportunity for dialogue and questions. This group will meet Sunday, September 18 through Sunday, May 14. All are welcome and no registration is required.