Reading with children in uncertain times

Seay Allison

Once upon a time, there was a very little girl celebrating her second birthday who had a too-close encounter with her best friend, Molly, our 100-pound black Labrador retriever. As we sat in the emergency room awaiting x-rays, she began to whimper, scared and in pain.

“Sofa, Mommy!” she cried softly.

The staff heard the very normal sound of a small child, afraid and in discomfort. I heard something quite different, something very moving and, for a toddler, quite eloquent: “Sofa, sofa, sofa!” she repeated.

Every afternoon, after naptime, we would snuggle closely together. As I held her on my lap, we would read magical stories together on our living room sofa. To my daughter, I was astonished to realize that night at the hospital, that experience on our sofa had become her safe place, a loving, comforting ritual that made her feel secure and cherished.

Reading to children provides a break in a busy day and can be an important part of the nighttime ritual before bed. Children enjoy spending time with the adults in their lives, hearing their favorite voice—yours! This exposes the child to many “rare words,” those that are not commonly used in conversation, so this experience naturally increases their vocabulary. It’s the single most important activity to help children get ready to read themselves. It is never too early to start. Learning to read begins at birth: even the youngest babies can be read to daily. They learn new words, and the sounds that make up words, daily.

In The Read-Aloud Handbook, Jim Trelease writes that there are 44 sounds in the English language. He notes that Margaret Wise Brown’s classic Goodnight Moon contains all 44 of the sounds that children need to know.

An even better way to encourage the development of a large vocabulary is to read aloud nonfiction books. This is so important that library story times now often include nonfiction books in their programs.

Reading with children daily can be especially helpful during stressful or scary times. The reassuring ritual of reading together is an experience in which children find comfort when there is so much change around them. Holding your child while you read together creates calm when he or she is anxious or frightened and creates stronger synaptic connections in the brain, allowing more learning to take place. Many children will want a favorite book read to them over and over again, enjoying the repetition and being comforted by the familiarity.

Reading is an excellent way to introduce big ideas and topics that might be difficult to have a conversation about. For example, last summer at St. Stephen’s family ministries staff presented a series about talking to children about race using a number of children’s books. I recommend Freedom Summer by Deborah Wiles, the story of the close friendship of two young boys who wish to swim in their town pool, but find that even when laws are passed, sometimes that doesn’t change people’s hearts. After you read such a story, allow the child time to wonder about the ideas presented. Ask questions, then allow time for the child to consider the question and form an answer. Be patient. Even if they don’t say much about it until the next day, this is an excellent conversation starter.

In an essay published in The New York Times, “Why We Need Life-Changing Books Right Now,” best-selling author Ann Patchett makes the case that books can comfort people of all ages in a time of pandemic or social upheaval. The experience of reading for pleasure instead of reading for work or school, and having time offline when so much of the day is spent online, are excellent reasons to get acquainted with a book. Patchett recommends Kate DiCamillo’s The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, which happens to be my favorite children’s book. It’s great for reading together as a family, but reading children’s literature can be an enjoyable and powerful experience for adults, so you might want to read it on your own. Happy reading to all!

By Kathi Overbay

Parishioner Kathi Overbay is a children’s librarian who has served on the American Library Association’s Bibliotherapy Committee.