CRANAGE VIA THE NORTH WEST FACE OF THE EIGER

Artificial intelligence, disharmony, mountain goats and a HiFi Show. Just another year at the North West Audio Show for John Scott.

According to Robert Louis Stevenson: ”To travel hopefully is better than to arrive”. The author of Treasure Island and The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde may have known a thing or two about writing a rattling good yarn but he had evidently never shared a journey with my travel companions, Alan and Mark. It’s not that I wasn’t travelling hopefully; I was hopeful of a quiet, relaxing trip from Glasgow to Cranage, maybe a wee, well deserved, sleep on the way. I’d even gladly volunteered to sit in the back of the car for a bit of peace and quiet. Unfortunately, Alan and Mark, better known to regular HiFi Pig readers as the co-proprietors of Tartan Audio, Scotland’s brightest new startup HiFi company, had other ideas. No sooner had we set off than the conversation turned to the pros and cons of Artificial Intelligence, a subject upon which, it became immediately clear, that Alan and Mark were diametrically opposed.

Alan (pro), enthused at length about the many benefits of AI and the advantages that were sure to be gained from it in the future. Mark (con) voiced concerns about mass unemployment and the uncontrolled evolution of the technology. On several occasions, Alan demanded that Mark back up his assertions with data. Privately, I felt it was perhaps unreasonable for Alan to have expected Mark to have brought the relevant data with him on the off chance of the topic arising at some point during the weekend but I decided to keep this opinion to myself.

As the miles whizzed by, I occasionally considered chipping in with my own views on the subject but the opportunity to get a word in edgeways just wasn’t there. I felt fairly confident though that my time would come once Alan had deployed his car’s passenger ejector seat and sent Mark flying into the air. I didn’t think I’d have to wait long.

Surprisingly though, the ejector seat went unused and my opinion was soon sought. As a Libran, I am hard-wired to see both sides of an argument. You may think that this a good thing; the chance for a bit of much-needed diplomacy, casting oil on troubled waters. How the United Nations have done without me for all these years remains a constant source of bafflement. Unfortunately, more than half a century’s experience has taught me that my clear-eyed grasp of the argument and desire to reconcile both sides unfailingly ends with me being branded as a lily-livered fence sitter. I should know better by now: pick a side, John. But no, off I went being Mr Mediation as usual. Yes, I could see how AI could offer huge benefits in detecting early signs of cell deformity much faster than humans could. Yes, I could also see that in the wrong hands, it could be used for large-scale disinformation and exploitation. It appeared that my equanimity had spoiled a good argument and we travelled on for a while in slightly sullen silence. Still, we weren’t yammering on about AI any more, so mission accomplished, eh?

Soon it was time to take a break, stretch our legs and grab a bite to eat. When we got back to the car Alan recalibrated his satnav to include Mark’s accommodation for the weekend. For reasons best known only to himself, Mark had chosen not to book into Cranage Hall where the North West Audio Show was being held. Instead, he had opted for a charming “nearby” bed and breakfast establishment around three hundred thousand feet above sea level and in a completely different time zone. As we climbed inexorably upwards, our ears began to pop. Mountain goats exchanged knowing nods as we passed. Shortly after the oxygen masks dropped from the ceiling of Alan’s car, the satnav announced our arrival and a team of sherpas escorted Mark to his digs.

Both Alan and I were relieved to see that, according to the satnav, we were only around 30 miles from

Cranage. Neither of us, however, had anticipated the machine’s desire to treat us to an in-depth exploration of the region’s single-track roads. As we stopped so that I could retrieve a machete from the boot (Alan is nothing if not well-prepared) and hack my way through the undergrowth in front of us, it occurred to me that the satnav’s AI, having listened to our earlier discussions was now probably just having a laugh at our expense but I felt it best to keep this opinion to myself as Alan’s left eyebrow was beginning to twitch uncontrollably. Having cleared the socalled road before us, I returned to the car, looking very much like the protagonist from Indiana Jones and the Audio Show of Eternal Despair and we set off again, finally arriving at our destination a final few minutes later. Time to check in then retire to the bar for a well-deserved few beers, a chance to catch up with old friends and meet new ones.