MENTAL HEALTH

CO-EDITOR MIA PATIENCE AND GLORIA DARGATZ

ACCEPTING MY BODY

BY ANONYMOUS

Bad body image is something that millions of people across the globe struggle with. Worrying about being overweight or underweight has taken the world by storm as the media perpetuates this idea that you must be this size, look like this model and have no “impurities” whatsoever. However, this just isn’t true. We are all human beings. All these so-called “impurities” are what makes us all unique! Everything on your body is natural. It has a purpose and it doesn’t make you less worthy of anything you want in life. During the 3rd UK lockdown, I had put on a little bit of weight. However, I didn’t notice this weight gain until I tried to put on a pair of my trousers from a few months ago and they were enormously tight. At first, it did upset me quite a lot as I clearly hadn’t realised the weight gain beforehand but after a few moments of self-doubt, I came to the realisation that it was JUST a pair of trousers, and I can always buy new ones that fit me! Weight gain is a completely natural and normal process of life so in life, yes, you may well grow out of your clothes. But it’s nowhere near the end of the world!

You must remember that EVERYBODY has insecurities, and EVERYBODY has imperfections. Models in magazines, newspapers and even on social media are airbrushed to perfection and made to look like they are just perfect in every way. We must realise that these images aren’t real and that we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to bodies that simply aren’t attainable! These big companies prey on insecure teens to try and make them think that if they buy their product, they will look like this model, but it’s just not true! Your body is perfect exactly the way it is, and no “miracle cream” is going to change that. For example, the bit of fat at the bottom of your stomach is there for a reason, it’s there to protect your organs from extensive damage! Your body has all these measures in place to keep YOU alive, it works so hard to make sure you can live your absolute best life!

Another thing that tends to affect people’s body image is stretch marks. Which isn’t necessarily a sign of weight gain, as it can also be a sign of weight loss. Stretch marks form when our skin stretches or shrinks quickly. They don’t mean you’re “ugly” or “gross” they are just signs that your body is accommodating to changes that are happening in your body, that’s all! Studies estimate that up to 90% of pregnant women, 70% of adolescent girls and 40% of adolescent males will develop stretch marks. So, please don’t think you’re alone in this, as most people have them! It’s a perfectly natural process in your body and it’s nothing to be ashamed about.

If I ever find myself in a dark place regarding body image, I tend to buy myself some new clothes that will make me feel good about my body and remind myself just how beautiful I am and that my body is perfect in every single way. I usually avoid following people on social media that post false senses of perfection onto their pages as it tends to make me sink back into the mindset of “Well, why don’t I look like that?”. However, I do quickly remember that angles and lighting are everything in a photo, and a little bit of facetune is always in play!

Another thing I find comforting if I’m feeling a bit down about my body is having a self-care day. This will most likely be at the weekend for most of you, but just take a day and make it all about you. I like to have a nice relaxing bath with extra bubbles while watching one of my favourite shows! Later, you can do a couple of face masks, watch your favourite comfort movies, or cuddle up with your favourite book. Self-care goes a very long way! If you suspect you are struggling with body image more than normal and it’s negatively affecting your everyday life, then please seek professional help. Your local GP has a bounty of resources that can help ease the stresses of body image and possible body dysmorphia. Just remember, you are perfect the way you are, and you don’t need to change yourself for anyone or anything!

WHY I’D RECOMMEND TALKING THERAPY

BY HEATHER-MAE CUTTS

For years I have struggled to communicate my issues and process traumatic events that I have been through. It led me to shut down and experience a lot of anger and frustration over things that are considered small and not triggering to others. I realised that through all this time, I’ve never been provided the tools to process what I had been through in a healthy and safe environment.

As much as I knew I can rely on friends and family to meet up and talk through our problems, sometimes you need that neutral, professional who is taking what you say at face value, with no judgement. Don’t get me wrong, friends and family can be someone who gives you no judgement when you talk about the issues you’re facing and sometimes, going to someone who you trust and love is the best option. We feel safe and protected when being vulnerable to these people. However, a therapist is professionally trained in listening to your experiences, unpacking it with you and piecing it all together in ways you would have never thought of. I initially started therapy thinking there wasn’t much point and I already understood the roots of my trauma and past. But I knew that these issues were still affecting me day to day and I couldn’t understand why. I was being triggered by the smallest actions from other people and knew that I needed to explore this behaviour as it was exhausting and unfair on myself to carry on like this.

I have been in therapy for a month now and I can say it has been worth every session, just having that person to unpack your issues to help process them in ways where emotions may make you cloudy, have been so helpful to me.

Take the leap, even if you have to pay, just think you are investing into yourself for a healthy and kind future. Which sometimes we don’t recognise is the most important thing. It’s so important to take care of our wellbeing and heal our wounds. We didn’t deserve some events of our past but we do deserve a better future.

MY AUTISM AND MENTAL HEALTH STORY

BY FRAN MULVEY

I was diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder just shy of 20, however my parents – especially my mother – knew from a young age, that I was slightly different to other children.

It’s a difficult thing, growing up knowing you’re different to most people around you and not knowing why – though it wasn’t so hard up until the end of primary school.

Past the age of eleven or twelve, when I went on to high school, life became still more difficult. I was in a new environment, with lots of people that I didn’t know compared to the few that I did going in. If socialising at primary school was difficult, high school was harder.

Social interaction, and understanding social cues became more challenging, though of course I didn’t understand why at the time... just that I was finding them harder to traverse than before. I tried desperately hard to fit in, unconsciously masking what made me who I am, my unknown but there autistic characteristics and habits. But it was like people around me noticed – somehow “sniffed out” the fact that I was different to them, like bloodhounds or any other type of hunting dog, and I soon became an easy target for bullying for various reasons, though they all I think had roots in my difficulty understanding social cues and such like – I even had a football kicked at me several times in what we called “the cages” (they were tennis courts, in reality) during one lunch break in Year 9/10. The perpetrators were reprimanded of course, but the event

left a lasting impression on me – I also never went to The Cages again, at least not during lunch time.

By the time I got to Sixth Form, for the one year I spent there, I had almost completely withdrawn into myself; the worlds within the fantasy books I loved – and still do – seeming more preferable to the one I lived in, their characters better company than that of those I knew because I felt an affinity with them.

I thought it would get better then; we were all 16 or 17, surely that meant the bullying would stop, right?

But it didn’t, not really.

Although it was done more subtly in Sixth Form, it soon got to a point... where I seriously considered taking my own life – because I just couldn’t take it anymore. I felt alone, and more at home, and more comfortable in the worlds of my favourite fantasy novels than I did in the one I lived in and related more to the characters in, too; they all had something about them that set them apart from others – and from the age of these have been predominantly Taran Matharu’s Summoner trilogy and prequel novel, and his characters Arcturus and Fletcher, though there are others too. Books have always been my one solace, and at that time, they were an escape from a world I didn’t believe I belonged in.

When I got my diagnosis a few weeks shy of my 20th birthday, it was like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

I knew what made me different! So much made sense when it came, particularly certain characteristics and personality traits I’d put into the main character in my debut novel, which I’d started writing when I was 16. I still felt, and feel, like I wasn’t totally understood by people who weren’t like me – even my family, who I lived with – but I came out my shell. I stopped masking, and finally felt able to be myself again, and my mental health drastically improved.

I still have my low days, but they are few and far between, and although the fact that I’m autistic can often make certain elements of everyday life difficult, and comes with its downsides (the hypersensitivity to sound I have can be very annoying and uncomfortable), it also has its advantages such as my vivid imagination. My name is Fran, and I’m autistic. It’s who I am, and that’s okay.

OUR LATEST WORK WITH BY PIPPA POGSON

Student Life have recently begun working with Mental Health and Wellbeing organisation, Kooth. Kooth are a national organisation who provide online support and counselling for young people. They have a magazine, discussion boards, live chat and daily journal/ mood tracking that young people can contribute to, or turn to for support.

We have recently held an ‘Introduction to Kooth’ webinar, exploring how to sign up and use Kooth and how Kooth and Student Life can best work together to support our young people. Moving forward, Kooth will be providing support for our Mental Health Ambassadors. We will be holding monthly drop in sessions for Mental Health Ambassadors to catch up with one another, talk about how their months have been, what went well and what didn’t go so well. Being a Mental Health Ambassador is very rewarding, but might sometimes feel like a lot of responsibility. We hope this monthly session will be a safe space for our Ambassadors to get to know one another, connect and express any concerns.

For more information, contact pippa@studentlife.org.uk

REVIEW MH WEBSITES AND APPS

What device do you have? iPhone

Had you heard of the app before? No Cost to download? FREE

In app purchases?

What is the app designed for?

Who are the target users? How easy is the app to use? n/a

To help with worries, stress and other mental health related issues. By using cognitive behavioural therapy techniques.

Primarily teenagers but all ages can be users.

Fairly easy when you get used to it

What features are there within the app? E.g. are there videos, space for notes, games?

It contains a tracker, journal and information about what the user is going through. If you felt you needed to, would you use it? Yes

Rating out of 5 stars?

Additional Comments: Although the content of the app is overall very good it is limiting.

Do you have experience in using websites and apps to improve your mental health?

We are looking for people from all different backgrounds to be as honest as they can to review mental health websites and apps. We are looking to improve the services that we recommend you to ensure only the best and most helpful services are used by our readers.

We have made a great start as our young people have been reviewing services such as Samaritans, Kooth and Calm as honestly and openly as they can, however we are looking for as many opinions as possible to join in and solidify our research. No matter your experience with mental health it would be great to see how easily navigable and the content quality these services can offer.

You can review as many as possible, we have a guide to follow on how to review each website or app and then a final rating out of 5.

It’s a great opportunity for you to discover more mental health services available online and via the app store and will help others avoid poor quality services.

If this is something you’re interested in, please get in touch and email heather@studentlife.org.uk

Supporting families through change

0300 772 7715

www.familyfirst-uk.org

NATIONAL In a Crisis? Anxious? Worried? Stressed? Shout for 24/7 help Text 85258

giveusashout.org

When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. 116 123

samaritans.org

NATIONAL

Campaign against living miserably

0800 58 58 58

thecalmzone.net

NATIONAL Providing a wide range of health and wellbeing services

turning-point.co.uk

A national self-help organisation helping people cope with their depression. depressionuk.org

Supporting women who have suffered or are at risk of domestic abuse 01473 228270

lighthousewa.org.uk

SUFFOLK

Run by people with experience of living with anxiety and stress 03444 775 774

anxietyuk.org.uk

Support for survivors of childhood sexual abuse

07765 052282

survivorsintransition.co.uk

SUFFOLK We’ve got lots of advice about looking after yourself 0800 1111

childline.org.uk

Arts in mental health and wellbeing

insideout community.com

SUFFOLK

For confidential suicide prevention advice contact

0800 068 4141

papyrus-uk.org

NATIONAL

Advice, guidance and practical support

01473 252607

4yp.org.uk

The mental health charity offering support and guidance 0300 111 6000

SUFFOLK

NATIONAL Improving teenage mental health by stemming commonly occurring MH issues at an early stage www.stem4.org.uk

Whether you’re stressed, anxious, low or depressed, we can help 0300 123 1503

wellbeingnands.co.uk

Advice for those affected by low mood, depression and suicidal thinking. studentsagainst depression.org

Support people over 18 who have been bereaved by suicide 0300 111 5065