Studio G Magazine Spring 2011 by Katie Coiner

Gateway Women’s Magazine | studiogmag.com

Debbie Morris The Woman Behind Pink

Spring 2011

Chilling out is so hard to do.

Frustrated job seeker?

We have some helpful advice!

The Vitamin That May Save Your Life

“Why aren’t you married?”

What God has to say about singleness.

solutions for the soul

passionate

about knowing God.

Contents

Spring ’11

IN EVERY ISSUE 6 CONTRIBUTORS

positioned

to love extravagantly.

7 FYI Apple TV 21 SPICE Simply Delicious 26 HEALTH Super Vitamin D

purposeful powerful

34 PULSE Recommended Reading

about our destiny.

in our influence.

15 FEATURES 8 Navigating the Maze

poised

You don’t have to open the door. God will. by Debra Heindel

for this moment.

10 Follow Me Lessons from a woman who lived an incredible life of faith. by Lynda Grove

12 The Chocolate Pie Incident Making messy memories. by LaWanda Bailey

14 No Blending Required Living out our lives in a way that’s unique to who God created each of us to be. by Rebecca Gates

20 The Single Wife

pink.gatewaypeople.com

You don’t have to be married to start becoming a wife. by Chelsea Seaton

22 Fearless

Spotlight 15 Debbie Morris: The Woman Behind Pink Why she's passionate about having a ministry just for women. by Stacy Burnett

24 Pink Voice Extending compassion, mercy and justice to women and children in need.

27 Be Who You Are When shoving things under the rug doesn’t cut it. by Mallory Bassham

29 Busted Growing into who you are. by Paula Hemingway

31 Living Like You Like It Four (free!) ways to improve your life. by Debbie Morris

32 Mrs. To-Do List Meets Mr. Let’s Just Hang Out Taking the time to “be” instead of “do.” by Katy Davis

What’s holding you back from living out your passion? by Marissa Star

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Spring 2011 3

a note from the editor

check out

studiogmag.com

Gateway Women’s Magazine

Spring 2011

Hello Sweet Friends!

Editor-in-Chief

Debbie Morris Editorial Director

Stacy Burnett

It’s the most exciting time of the year in Pinkdom … it’s time for Pink Impact!

Senior Editor

This year’s theme is Live It! There’s a difference between living life and really living life. For instance, I sing … but Kari Jobe really sings. I cook (if I have to) … but Lynda Grove really cooks. There’s a real difference.

S. George Thomas Editor

And when it comes to living, there’s definitely a difference in how each person lives. We’ve all watched people who live in an unhealthy cloud. They may go through the motions, but they’re not thriving. They can’t enjoy today because of hurts from yesterday. They don’t appreciate their present opportunities because of past failures. They try to take steps forward, but they’re tethered by something unseen and restricting.

ALLISON ROBERTS Associate Editor

Joyce Freeman Content Manager

Jesus came to give us abundant life. He came to set us free from those restraints. He is for us and wants us to enjoy this life He has created for us. And because this is His desire, He made a way for us to live a joy-filled life. It’s up to us to live it by faith. It’s up to us to be obedient.

Jan Greenwood Senior Creative Director

Paul Sirmon Art Director/Designer

MELISSA RUNYON Photography

Find new and exclusive articles, fun and exciting videos and, best of all, easier ways for you to stay up-to-date on the latest Studio G news. What’s more, you can check out all of our past issues of Studio G.

It’s a whole new way to enjoy Studio G … visit studiogmag.com today!

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Why Studio G? The title, Studio G, was inspired by Psalm 144:12 which is a prayer asking God “that our daughters may be as pillars, sculptured

ROLAND TURNER

in palace style.” The name

Kevin Schreiber

reminds us that we, as Christian women, are in God’s studio as unfinished works of art. Studio G

I want to receive the lifetime achievement award spoken to me by my God: “Well done, My good and faithful servant.” But in order to do that, I have to steward my life as my most valuable resource. I have to overcome my fears and insecurities and obey. In believing God and obeying, you will experience life as it was meant to be. I have a sneaky inclination that when you believe what God says about you and obey His promptings, your life will look more different than you may have ever thought. In this issue of Studio G, we’re exploring what it means to “live it.” Through these stories and articles, I hope you discover that your life is worth the investment of living it like God intended you to.

is committed to reminding us of the ways of the Master Sculptor

Blessings,

as He continues to fashion us into “women of palace style.” In His studio, we discover who we are created to be and we come to realize our true worth.

Spring 2011 5





studio fyi

contributors

 

Killer Apps Flixter – Get local movie show times in the palm of your hand!



Apple TV



by Josh Morris

 



Why is a tiny black box that doesn’t have a screen called a tv? To be honest with you, I don’t have a good answer to that question. All I know is that I have an Apple tv and I love it! However, I find myself trying to explain it to people all the time. When I tell people they can watch tv shows and rent movies on it, they look at me with blank stares and tell me they have a cable or a satellite provider who already offers those things. Well, here goes … this is my final attempt at trying to explain why this little gadget has become so useful in my life.

Chelsea Seaton Lynda Grove

 Associate Pastor of Pink,

is also known as “Mamma Mia,” because of her love for Italian cooking. A mother of four and wife of Kevin, Gateway’s Associate Senior Pastor, her personal passion is seeing women valued and encouraged. She plays a mean game of Farkle, loves to travel and was born to shop.

Marissa Star

 Marissa is a daughter of the King, learning with every new day to rock her princess tiara. She loves to write (preferably with some fabulous chocolate nearby) about her many adventures in the land of motherhood while holding hands with Jesus. She has a passion for women to walk in grace and greatness through the revelation of God’s love.

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 Chelsea desires two things in life—to make people laugh till

their cheeks hurt and to see women live out their callings in every season. She lives in Keller with an awesome roommate.

Katy Davis

 Katy is a tiny fireball who loves to rally people to action with her bubbly personality. She works at Gateway keeping the Pink Groups running smoothly, always wearing a pair of stilettos.

Rebecca Gates

 Rebecca Gates married Travis in 1999 and began her career as Mom two years later. She loves writing and relating to the needs of other women and has been a featured writer for destinyinbloom.com as well as by leading women’s groups.

Paula Hemingway

 Paula Hemingway, a free-lance writer from Keller, Texas, is

a wife to Mark, a mother of six and a grandmother of three. Her stories have been published in several issues of Guideposts. She’s also a volunteer in her church and community, and she enjoys playing tennis and the piano.

Mallory Bassham

 Mallory Bassham worked in the corporate world for years

in the mortgage business. She now oversees Pink Groups at Gateway where she and her husband have been members for over 7 years. Mallory has a heart to see women connect with God and each other as they fulfill their destiny and walk out their passions.

LaWanda Bailey

 LaWanda Bailey, author

of Miss Myrtle Frag, the Grammar Nag, has worn several professional hats: teacher, Northwest isd language arts coordinator, copy editor, humor writer, writing institute director, ghostwriter, pianist and school bus driver. She is a team leader for North Texas Christian Writers and presents at their annual conferences.

Debra Heindel

 Debra Heindel is a career

coach with a passion for incorporating biblical principles into job search strategies. She’s been a member of Gateway since 2004. For 26 years, she’s been married to her best friend, Mal. They enjoy meeting and serving Gateway people through the Gateway Safety Unit golf cart brigade.

The Apple tv is a portal that connects you to all kinds of videos that are available online. It connects to your home Internet network wirelessly and can even connect to all the computers in your home. Any video or audio that can be played through iTunes can be wirelessly transmitted to and played from your Apple tv. It also connects to popular video sites like Netflix and YouTube. If that’s not enough, you can also rent movies and tv shows from a huge library. This tiny black box connects to your actual tv through an hdmi cable (if you don’t know what that is, ask your husband or boyfriend) and then displays the picture in stunning 720p hd. Ladies, if that last paragraph is a little too technical for you, I apologize. Let me make it real for you. Your girlfriends are over at your house for a play date and you just have to show them the Double Rainbow video on YouTube so that you all can giggle together for the next three hours. Guess what, sister? Your laptop screen is much too small for double rainbows, and the speakers are way too quiet for you to hear Yosemitebear (the guy who recorded the video) scream, “What does it mean!?!” … this is where Apple tv saves the day. Here’s another one for you. It’s date night, and you’ve already put the kids to bed when you realize that your husband “forgot” to stop by Blockbuster and rent Eat. Pray. Love. But once your mind is set on watching the latest Julia Roberts movie, there’s no turning back. You could throw your coat on and make a run to the video store, but that seems like a lot of work. Once again, Apple tv saves the day! With Apple tv, you can just stay home and rent the movie! You can purchase Apple tv at an Apple Store or Best Buy for only $99. Most tv shows are about $.99 and movies are $4.99. Enjoy! Apple TV Remote – Remote is a free app that turns your iPhone or iPod touch into a remote control for your iTunes library or Apple TV.

[iPhone, Droid, Blackberry]

Yelp – Search for places to eat, shop, relax and play; then, read reviews from an active community of locals in the know. Shazam – Don’t know the song that’s playing? Find out with the awesome Shazam app! [iPhone, Droid, Blackberry]

YouVersion – This is a beautiful, easy-to-use Bible app for your phone. [iPhone, Droid, Blackberry] TDLD – The Think Differently Live Differently app is the source for all things Bob Hamp. [iPhone] mint.com – Track, budget and manage your money on-the-go. [iPhone, Droid]

Epicurious – Great recipes on the go.You can even make your grocery list! [iPhone, Droid, Blackberry] HeyTell – Use your phone like a walkie talkie with a friend or family member who also has the app. [iPhone, Droid, Blackberry] Angry Birds – Slingshot birds at pigs to win points. You’ll be surprised how quickly you become addicted to this popular game! [iPhone, Droid] Dragon Dictation – Speak into your phone and see your words in text. [iPhone, Droid, Blackberry]

Navigating the Maze

by Debra Heindel

I recently took my two granddaughters, Olive and Claire, to an Alice in Wonderland exhibit at the Gaylord Texan. We were all enjoying the terrific display of characters and symbols from the famous Lewis Carroll story, until we arrived at a maze patterned after the Rabbit Hole. As we walked deeper and deeper into the maze, we wandered aimlessly in the dark, not knowing if we were on the right path or if we were headed into a dead end. This began to wear on five-year-old Claire. The more we walked, the more uneasy she became. And the more dead ends we encountered, the more frustrated and frightened she became. Instead of enjoying the experience, she began to fixate on getting to the end. Finally, she looked up at me, and said, “Grandma, I don’t think we’re ever going to get out of here!” What Claire couldn’t see, but I could, were all the clues and arrows near the floor pointing to the way out. They were small

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. - Matthew 6:33

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and subtle, but they were enough to reassure me that the creator of the maze had also included the answer. All we had to do was follow the path that was laid out and enjoy the experience. Many people who are out searching for jobs feel a lot like Claire, because conducting a job search is a lot like navigating through a maze. It’s like entering a completely foreign, topsy-turvy world. And like Claire, the more you wander aimlessly in the dark, the more frustrated and frightened you become. One of the things I hear most often from believers who are job hunting is, “I just don’t know what God wants me to do.” While I understand knowing that would be helpful, more often than not, that’s not how God does things. Remember God’s instructions to Abraham in Genesis 12:1? “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you” (emphasis mine). Abraham’s “clue” was simply to start walking. Let’s look at another example … a perfect example. When Jesus walked on the earth, the Bible tells us “He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him” (Acts 10:38). Do you think that Jesus’ calling was just to be a healer? Not exactly. He also did a lot of teaching; does that mean He was only called to be a teacher? The point is, Jesus did many things as He walked out God’s plan. And that’s how it is for us.

As we walk out His plan for us, God gives us specific tasks or assignments. It isn’t about our destiny or calling; it’s about His plan. The fact is, God doesn’t need us to help Him with His plan; He wants us to help. When I bake cookies with my granddaughters, I always leave a few tasks specifically for them to do. I can bake cookies all by myself; I don’t need them to help me, but I want them to help me. So I give them assignments that I know they can do, and together we create cookies. Sometimes, the girls want to do things on their own, and when they choose to ignore my directions and go it alone, we end up with a mess. But when they follow my instructions and just do the assignments I’ve given them, the results are always good. But if you’re thinking, “I don’t even know what my assignment is!”, look again at the perfect example. In Matthew 6:33, Jesus tells us to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Notice He doesn’t say to seek first your assignment. God doesn’t want you to sit at home and do nothing while you wait for Him to drop an assignment in your lap. God’s kingdom

is about serving others, so start seeking the expertise God wants to offer through first His kingdom by developing a servant’s you. In the secular world, the focus is on selling yourself, but in God’s kingdom, heart. Stop focusing so much of your time it’s about being in the right place at the and attention on your job search, and like right time. When Jesus was out and about Jesus, spend some time and effort serving “doing good,” He didn’t try to sell anyone others and doing good. anything; instead, He simply offered God’s Exhibiting a servant’s heart when you’re love, grace, healing and salvation. job searching allows you to focus on God has a specific assignment for you, others, instead of yourself. Believe it or and to find it, all you have to do is follow not, it isn’t all about you! “Networking” Jesus’ example and go about “doing good.” has become nothing more than a thinly Then, when you’re at the right place at disguised way of telling everyone you the right time, God will bring it to pass. know that you need a job. But what if Moses had to be at the right place at the you asked others what you could do right time before God stepped in and said, for them? What if, when you went to “I’ll take it from here!” And as a result, the networking meetings, you focused on Red Sea parted! helping everyone else find a job? What if you spent your days volunteering or helping others rather than sitting behind your computer surfing the Internet for job leads? Remember, when Jesus went about doing good, miracles happened! When you develop a servant’s heart, you don’t read the want ads solely from the perspective of finding a job; you read the want ads from the perspective of filling a need. Isn’t it better to first focus on the expertise that God wants to offer through you, and then approach the company as a solution to that need? Notice, I said

the maze had left for us. And just like that maze, our Creator has given us clues to navigate through the maze of life—whether you’re searching for a job or trying to figure out God’s call on your life, all you have to do is follow them!

You’re not going to be at the right place at the right time unless you get out and about. Grocery stores have doors that automatically open for you, but you have to be in the right spot for them to open. In the same way, God doesn’t expect you to make the doors open. He just wants you to get into the right position by going about doing good, and He’ll open the doors for you! My granddaughters and I eventually made it out of the Rabbit Hole maze by following the clues the creator of

Spring 2011 9

Follow Me by Lynda Grove

keys to developing an outward, people-focused life:

y husband’s grandmother, Celia Dodge, led an exciting life. She lived as a missionary in Africa, China and Tibet with her husband, John, and 12 kids. During that time, they heard the voice of God clearly and regularly, and when God spoke, they moved … often finding out later that their quick obedience had miraculously saved their lives.

Jesus said, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” This statement is an invitation, a promise and a destiny. The invitation is: “Follow Me. I am the Way, and I will show you what real life is about.” The promise is: “I will make you. It’s by My power that you will be transformed and be a light to others.” And the destiny is: “You will be a fisher of men. From here on out, you’re going to be all about people.”

Time after time, in spite of obstacles or danger standing in the way, Celia and her family obeyed God’s promptings and, as a result, they experienced His protection in miraculous ways. On one such occasion, they were forced to leave China because Japanese bombs were ravaging the country. Desperately wanting to return to China as soon as possible, they made their way to Hawaii to await an opportunity. When they arrived, Celia was thrilled to discover that, after years spent living in tiny spaces, they would now be staying in a luxuriously large home … with the beach right at their doorstep! But then a few short weeks later, John woke up in the middle of the night, and God told him it was time to move again. The next morning, he went into town and found an abandoned home for the family stay in. Twelve days later, they all awoke to the sound of a roaring tsunami destroying everything within three miles of the beach—including the luxuriously large home they had been staying in.

This is what you were created for. You were created to serve others. When you obey His call, He will make you all that He has created you to be. It’s on the path of His choosing, not yours, that you find true fulfillment and abundant life. As you follow Him in serving others, you encounter God in greater and greater measure, and that changes everything. When you join Him in serving others, you will experience the passion and pleasure of God.

During her life, Celia saw people all over the world healed, set free and transformed. At the age of 91, she went home to her Savior, and at her funeral, I learned what a truly exciting life is. As family and friends took turns sharing and reminiscing, one thing became abundantly clear—Celia served others. Even throughout her later years, when her body was weakening, she took time to go door to door and visit people who were sick or just needed a friend. In her last few months, although she was unable to leave her bed, Grandma showered love on her nurse. And just days before Celia died, that nurse knelt beside her bed and received Christ. As the stories poured forth at her funeral, it was obvious Celia knew the secret to miracles, to living the life Christ exemplified, to success—serving others and living an outward, people-focused life.

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You can read more about Celia’s extraordinary life of faith in the book Gentle Wisdom for Tough Times by Mary Dunham Faulkner.

Solitude Make time to be alone with God and to hear His voice. It’s easy to turn inward because of the busyness and pressures of life, but God’s focus is always on people. When we take time to be with Him, our vision gets realigned with His and our focus will turn to others. Surrender Surrender your schedule, including your pace, priorities and plans. Your pace of life impacts your physical and emotional health. When your pace of life is unhealthy, your relationships suffer. Who and what are you investing your time in? Be intentional about making time for God and for people in your life. Stand Stand in the gap for others. If you don’t make a conscious effort to regularly intercede for the people in your life, then you may find yourself simply socializing rather than serving them. Start praying for others, and you’ll soon find yourself serving them. It’s very difficult to pray for someone and not love and serve them. It’s also very difficult to pray for others and remain critical or judgmental. Sow Sow your best into people. Where you invest yourself, your heart will follow. We need to be students of the cultures, worldviews and ideologies that are influencing those we live and work with. Diligent preparation always precedes effective sowing, so take time to listen and learn about people’s struggles, challenges and families. Invest yourself in others in order to understand their perspective and be prepared to have an appropriate answer.

What are you interested in? Whether it’s Bible study, prayer, freedom, professional women or leadership development, we have a group just for you! Topics, leaders and locations change each semester, so check back often to find a group that’s right for you.

PINK More info? call: 817.552.3705 email: pinkgroups@gatewaypeople.com visit: groups.gatewaypeople.com

Spring 2011 11

The Chocolate Pie Incident

by LaWanda Bailey

uilt is a mother’s burden. She lives the first half of her adult life praying she raises her kids right and the last half grieving over things she did wrong. And in every mother’s brain, tucked just under the frontal lobe, lies an area called the Momflubbius. That’s where all of her childrearing mistakes gather together and nag at her until she redeems them one by one.

Like most mothers, I took birthday cupcakes to school and made volcanoes out of newspaper strips and wallpaper paste. I brought in paychecks that I spent on teenage fashion trends I didn’t even like. Season after season, I sat on hard bleachers until I was numb in the nether regions. But was it enough? Had I truly lived up to the virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31? My children had never risen up and called me blessed. They had risen up and called me to do their laundry. Does that count? When my adult children planned a big family gathering, I saw an opportunity to redeem myself. We would travel to my son’s home, spend the night, and cook the next day’s meal together. My Momflubbius churned. You didn’t bake chocolate pies for your kids when they were young; you should make up for that. “I’ll make chocolate pies,” I said, looking around to see everyone’s reaction. My children didn’t flinch. Perhaps chocolate pie deficiency hadn’t ruined their lives. Nevertheless, I carried on with my mission to make the most mouth-watering chocolate pies ever. I found recipes for IceWater Crust, Chocolate Bliss Pie Filling and Perfect-Every-Time Meringue, and I purchased the finest ingredients. They’ll have a memory to clutch to their hearts when I’m gone, I thought as I bought two pie plates to hold my sure-to-be masterpieces.

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As we hit the road, I followed the Proverbs 31 woman’s example by bringing my household’s “food from afar.” With every passing mile, I grew more and more excited at the thought of how the eggs jostling in the backseat would soon provide mounds of meringue … fluffy, glorious meringue. The next morning, I rose while it was still dark and made pie crusts. As the family congregated in the kitchen, my pie filling began to bubble on the stovetop. Following the recipe, I removed it at low boil. Hmmmm … looks pretty thin. I returned it to the burner. When the mixture didn’t thicken, my alarm bells jingled. My daughter suggested that the pie might set when we baked it with the meringue on top. My husband said, “Freeze it.” After I poured the chocolate into the pie plates, I separated egg yolks from whites and beat the Perfect-Every-Time Meringue, looking for stiff peaks but finding none.

The egg whites fell!

For the first time in my life, I said a prayer for a chocolate pie. When the oven timer beeped, we all hovered around like we were opening a secret vault. I lifted the pie plate; chocolate sloshed over the side. The sub-meringue pie had torpedoed the baking theory. We put the other pie into the freezer, where three hours later it remained in a liquid state. My teenage grandson said, “Awesome! You’ve created a liquid that won’t cook or freeze. Can I use it in my chemistry class?” Everyone laughed, and so did I, but my Momflubbius badgered me. You are hereby banned from the Society of Virtuous Women. I felt better a little later when our grandchildren gathered around the would-be pie. They dipped out the topping, spooned the chocolate liquid over it and said it tasted great. One of them broke off a piece of crust, dipped it into the concoction and said, “Look. Chocolate nachos!” My husband comforted me, “If the pies had turned out, we’d have forgotten about them pretty quickly. But now, we’ll always remember this day and how much fun we had with your pies.” So now my kids finally have a memory of me making chocolate pies … though it wasn’t the memory I had originally planned. But maybe it’s more important that they see me as a mom who can laugh as she walks through failure. The same book of Proverbs that describes a virtuous woman also says, “a merry heart has a continual feast” (Proverbs 15:15). I pronounce myself both merry and virtuous. The Chocolate Pie Incident proves that I care enough to step out of my comfort zone for my kids. That’s courageous and noble. And failure isn’t so bad. After all, I learned that when life gives you chocolate sub-meringue pie, you can always make chocolate nachos!

More info? call: 817.552.7446 email: pinkinc@gatewaypeople.com visit: pinkinc.gatewaypeople.com

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As I stared at the droopy meringue, my daughter-in-law jumped in and made a batch that fluffed right up. She dropped a spoonful onto the pie and winced. “It sank,” she said. My creation was too weak to support egg whites and air.

Thursday, July 28 | 7:00 pm

My son piped in, “You’ve made chocolate sub-meringue pie, Mom.”

Auditorium | Gateway Southlake

We dumped more meringue into the pie. My grandchildren cheered as it fought its way to the top, and we quickly slid the pie into the oven.

PINK NIGHT

LAUGH

Thursday, October 6 | 7:00 pm Auditorium | Gateway Southlake

“A merry heart has a continual feast” (Proverbs 15:15).

More info? call: 817.552.3756 email: pink@gatewaypeople.com visit: pink.gatewaypeople.com

studio spotlight

No Blending Required by Rebecca Gates

wasn’t a teenager searching for my identity; I was a grown woman, wife to the man of my dreams, proud mother to three boys and a friend to several godly women. Yet here I was curled up in a corner of my bathroom sobbing. How could I be surrounded with so much and still feel so “on the outside looking in.” I didn’t feel like myself anymore.

The problem really wasn’t that I felt “different.” I’ve felt different my whole life. I was used to people not getting my sense of humor or looking at me with blank stares whenever I’d say something that was a little too out of the box. As a result, something inside of me shut down. I made a choice to blend in. I laid down the very things that made me unique and caused me to stand out so

How could I be surrounded with so much and still feel so “on the outside looking in.” I didn’t feel like myself anymore. 14 Studio G

that I could fit in. But in the end, that only ended up making me really feel like I was isolated. Now—although I was surrounded by people—I had shut the door to the real me. I felt suffocated and was longing to peep through and shine. As I sat in the corner of the bathroom with tears streaming down my face, I heard a familiar Voice whisper to me: I don’t just love you; I like who you are. I made you, sense of humor and all, and you crack Me up. Suddenly, it didn’t matter anymore if anyone else liked me. The God of the universe—who happens to be a pretty big deal—wanted me to be who He created me to be … He liked me. I suppose most of us feel different, since we all are different … in that, at least, we’re all the same. But that’s what makes life interesting. If we all lived like a smoothie—blended all together— our individual, vibrant colors would turn a pale brownish color, and no one would ever get to experience the fullness of our unique, distinctive flavors. I don’t live my life to be liked. I live my life to express who God is through me. I’m created in His image so that I can share my unique imprint of Him with the world around me. When we begin to live out our own individual parts while discovering our differences, we’ll start to learn more about who He is.

Debbie Morris Her Heart, Her Passion, Her Life

by Stacy Burnett

Debbie Morris is down-to-earth, funny and hands down one of the nicest people you will ever meet. She’s soft-spoken, but when she speaks, I always make sure to listen and pay attention to what she has to say. She’s an anointed leader, and she has a tremendous passion for ministering to women … but that hasn’t always been the case.

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Recently, Debbie sat down with Studio G to share her story and her heart for women.

Growing up, did you ever imagine you’d be in ministry? I always wanted to be in ministry. When I was in the fourth grade, my grandmother, a God-fearing, church-planting, pianoplaying woman, witnessed to me after a Billy Graham Crusade. While my sister and I were staying with my grandparents, they “made” us go to church by watching Billy Graham on tv … not just once, but every time he came on. Even though there were only three television stations, Billy Graham came on each channel, 30 minutes apart. We were “forced” to watch all three Billy Graham messages … and they were all the same. And my grandfather made sure we stayed still by keeping a flyswatter handy. Once Billy Graham’s messages were over, my grandmother got her big Bible and took us individually, presented the gospel and asked us about salvation. At the time, I wasn’t open to hearing the gospel … all I wanted to do was go play, and I would do whatever was needed to get her to let me go play. About a year later, she was diagnosed with cancer and shortly after that she passed away. At her funeral, I started thinking, “I want to know the God of my grandmother.” During an evangelistic revival at our church, I became a believer. I also had an aunt and uncle who were in the ministry and lived in a parsonage next to the church. I thought being in ministry would be the coolest job in the world! From that point on, I always wanted to be in the ministry.

How did you get involved in women’s ministry? I received a prophetic word that I would be in a small group leading a Bible study. Soon after, Shady Grove—the church where my husband Robert [Gateway’s Founding Senior Pastor] was a pastor at the time—made the decision to no longer have a large women’s weekly event. The 16 Studio G

whole church was moving to a small group ministry, and they decided that all of the elders’ and pastors’ wives would lead a small group. I felt drafted … I didn’t really think I had a choice. So I prayed about it, and said, “Okay, God. I’ll do it, but You’ve got to help me.” I began leading the discussion and prayer for my small group. I felt like it was something I could do, but I continued asking the Lord to help me. I also started inviting people. My groups kept growing and growing, and then pretty soon they asked me if I would be a section leader. Before long, I was on staff at Shady Grove as a zone pastor.

Tell me about how you started the women’s ministry at Gateway. When we started groups here, Robert came home and said, “Hey, we’re starting small groups at Gateway, and you’re going to be our new women’s leader.” I told him upfront, “Okay, you’ve got six months. After that, I’m not doing it.” At Shady Grove, I was responsible for any female north of I-30 who called for any kind of ministry—pastoral care, counseling, building groups, planning events—all of that was me. I worked a lot of days and evenings, and I was just exhausted and really didn’t want to do it anymore. Also, I’d gotten a taste of what it was like to be a stay-at-home mom and was really enjoying that role. So, I promised I’d do it for six months. Six months went by. And then, two years … and here we are today, almost nine years later!

formulate the vision and how we were going to do things differently. We knew it was a new season, and God was saying something fresh and exciting to us all specific to this day and this church. The name of our first women’s conference was Replenish, but I thought it came across as negative … like it was a conference you needed to go to because you were depleted. I also thought it sounded like a sports drink or a feminine product! When we started looking at new names for our conference, we wanted it to be something feminine that would have an immediate connection for women. We wanted the name of the conference to say something about its purpose. As women, we want to be impacted, and we want to make an impact, and pink is our universal color. If you say “pink,” everybody knows it’s a female thing. So the name Pink Impact works really well with our vision of seeing women making an impact. At our first Pink Impact, we wanted to communicate the core values of our ministry, one of which is that we are for each other. So many times in women’s ministry, it seems like there’s always someone clawing someone else to get higher. There’s no reason to do that. We are all on the same team. We all have our own individual gifts and abilities, and we can all support one another and lift each other up. One of the things we said at our first conference is, “We are cheering for you! … There’s a reason that you’re living in this season. God has a good plan for you, and He wants to use you!”

You’ve often said, “This is How did Pink Impact come not your mom’s women’s about and how has it ministry.” What does that shaped the women’s mean to you? ministry at Gateway? Our team has a desire to reach the next

Launching Pink Impact was really a turning point for our women’s ministry. Stephanie Evans was my assistant at the time, and we worked together to change the image of women’s ministry. She was a powerful influence, and she helped me

generation, so we structure everything we do to have a younger appeal. I don’t necessarily want a women’s ministry that I’m comfortable with. I want a women’s ministry that my daughter and daughtersin-law feel comfortable with. I’ve discovered

that ladies my age are primarily concerned about truth. If there’s truth being spoken, they’ll follow. They don’t mind being more youthful. Nobody minds youthfulness, especially if it’s not childish. So I don’t expect our young women to act like moms or grandmothers. There is a biblical mandate for older women to teach younger women. I want older women to use their influence, their stories, their experiences to teach younger women to be lovers of God and lovers of their families. I will always focus our major events to be multigenerational, but with a youthfulness that embraces young women who want to be shown a better way. I also encourage my team to dream as big as they want to dream. I challenge them to think about the types of activities they plan. I don’t want to plan a tea party, because I don’t know how many of my daughter’s generation would come to it. Yes, we could make it very cool and fun, but I just don’t know how many of the

Debbie Morris on Leadership What do you do to grow and develop as a leader? I’m self-taught in a lot of ways. As a child, I taught myself how to read, and I think that same desire to learn has carried over to the rest of my life. So I read leadership books, and I observe as many great leaders as I can. I also watch people and study their strongest characteristics.

What are some personal challenges you’ve had to deal with as the leader of Pink? I spent years trying to get others to say what I wanted them to say. I’d have something in my heart, and because I didn’t want to be the person up front, I’d look for other women to communicate what was in my heart. A couple of years ago, I had the revelation that if I’m going to lead, I have to be a communicator of the vision God has given me. I may feel like I’m not the best speaker, but it goes with the territory. The responsibility is mine. It’s one of those areas in my life I have to continually pray about.

What’s one mistake you witness leaders making more frequently than others? When leaders think the project is more important than the people. We have a Great Commission, but it’s really all about the people. Sometimes we can get kind of narrow-minded in what we’re trying to accomplish. And while the project is important, I never want to drive people into the ground. I really try not to overuse our volunteers to the point that they’re exhausted and never want to work again. I try to take care of my team in a way that communicates to them that value. I want them to communicate that to other women—that they’re important and it’s not just about the task at hand.

In your opinion, what is the biggest challenge facing leaders today? Living a life of integrity.

What is one characteristic you believe every leader should possess? They should love people.

You’ve talked about being a gracefilled woman. How does that influence the way you lead? I’ve been extended a lot of grace. If I didn’t extend grace to others, I’d kind of be like that servant Jesus talks about in the Bible who was forgiven a lot, and then went and choked someone else because they owed him something. I can’t help people without giving them grace, because I’ve just been given so much grace. I think it’s a reflection of God’s heart. Anything less wouldn’t be a good reflection of Him. That’s my goal. I want to reflect Him well.

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girls will come for that. I want to present the truth—scriptural, biblical truths. I want to teach younger women to love their husbands and live honorable lives, and I want to give them a place where they’re going to hear truth.

What exactly is your role within Pink? I am involved in the conceptual process of every Pink event. I may not be involved in all the details of it, but I set the vision and the values for the events and then steer them all the way through. My team is empowered to make decisions, to see an event through to the end, but at any point I can change the direction we’re going with it. I have to feel good about what we’re doing, because I have to go home and look my husband in the eye and tell him I’m doing a good job as his wife and a pastor in the women’s ministry. No one else has that responsibility. Robert is always highly

supportive and very proud of me. I also want to please the Lord and stay true to the things He’s placed in my heart.

I understand you encourage women to prioritize their lives around things only they can do. For example, I’ve heard you say that only you can be a wife to your husband and a mom to your kids. How do you personally You took a year off to live this out, and how do you suggest other women spend time with your family. How did your should live it out? perspective on ministry My family is always my priority, but I’m also aware that God has a specific call for change after your break? me as an individual … He has a specific call for all of us. For some, that call may be to take care of your family for a season, and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s a high calling and a very noble one. But even in that there’s room for women to serve God and make a

A Closer Look How do you persevere in times when you feel burned out or you want to quit? Burnout is really a stewardship issue. At least that’s what I’ve learned. You have to manage before you get to that place [of burnout]. Spending quiet times with God is a lot more important than most people think it is. Just that little bit of time 18 Studio G

difference, and invest their lives—whether it’s taking care of the widow down the street—that’s something she can teach her kids to do. Or if it’s leading a small group, there are ways women can make a difference and be a vibrant Christ-follower and godly, home-minded woman. It’s not a contradiction. One does not negate the other; they walk hand-in-hand. Some women are in business in the workplace, and their part isn’t insignificant either. They may work, but God can use them in their scope of influence.

After my year break from ministry, I really embraced my role as the Pastor of Pink. There was a real settling in my heart that this was my place for this season. I feel like I did a lot of things well with women’s ministry, but I also felt like somebody else could do it better. So having that time away allowed me to see that I really did have some natural strengths for leading. And although I may not feel like I’m the most qualified person to do it, this is where God has me.

with God every day, where He can speak to you and refresh and renew you, is so important. The thing with burnout is that when you get tired, you start taking shortcuts in the disciplines you know you need to keep yourself refreshed, whether it’s exercise or daily devotion or whatever. To avoid that, you’ve got to keep those simple disciplines active in your life. Time away is always good … pulling away and letting God refresh you. In order to live without feeling burned out, you’ve got to maintain good disciplines.

How important is rest to you? It’s really important. Robert and I try to take a sabbath every week, which means to cease from labor and whatever we normally do. A little time away for us is great, because it allows us to check out of what we’re normally doing, get rested and allow our minds and spirits to take a break. Then we come back with renewed energy.

It’s been almost 11 years since Gateway’s women’s ministry began. What are your plans for the future? I think we’re just beginning to scratch the surface of where God wants us to go. This year, we’re focusing on how we all have a voice … we all have influence. And with our influence comes responsibility, because if we don’t use our voice, we lose our influence. It’s important for us to use our influence. We all have a scope of influence, and we need to be using that.

I think collectively we can make a huge impact in our society and nation, even the world. It’s like this … a single flower in a flower bed is beautiful. But while it might catch your attention, you probably wouldn’t drive by and say, “Oh, look at that flower!” But if you plant an entire flower bed, that will catch your attention. So collectively, I believe that’s what we can do as Gateway women. We can make an impact in a way that people will take notice of our Lord and the things that He’s passionate about.

How do you find times to rest in the midst of so much demand? I just have to schedule it. If I don’t schedule it, I don’t do it.

Do you like sports? I like to ride my bike, but I don’t get to as much as I’d like. I love to swim. I like to walk and jog. I love boating, and I like to fish. But I don’t like to take the fish off the hook; I make Robert do that part.

What’s your favorite game? As a family, we play Rummikub, but now our family has grown so much that we have to put two games together to play as a family. For years, our favorite family game was Old Heck.

It’s evident you truly have a heart for women. What do you feel like God is saying to them? I feel like He’s saying, “I love you.” There may be great big challenges, but God just wants His girls to know He loves them. Love is always a greater motivator than fear or legalism. If we catch that, we’ll start picking up His heart. And before long, we’ll make an impact. We’ll influence our society in a way that is supernatural.

What’s your favorite meal? There’s a place out near Possum Kingdom Lake that has the best steaks. Robert and I try to eat there about once a month … it’s kind of our date place.

When did you know you were in love with Pastor Robert? First date, first kiss. Our first date was a double-date with my sister and the guy she had been dating for a long time. After the date, we were standing on the back porch, and I was fidgeting with the hanging plant. My dad opened the back door and said, “Deb, it’s time to come in.” I think he thought we were burglars or something. I said, “Yes, Daddy. I’ll be right in.” I was truly embarrassed. Robert kissed me goodnight, and I fell in love. It was a really good kiss.

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studio spice

The Single Wife If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I was dating or when I was getting married, I’d be able to quit my job, move to the Caribbean and live on the beach!

I went to a small Baptist college in a small town, and after my eighth bridesmaid dress, I started to feel like a leper. How did I miss out on meeting my special someone? What’s wrong with me? What didn’t I have that all the other girls had? Would I meet him somewhere else? If so, where? Wait … is it possible that God is telling me that I’m called to never get married?! please nooooo!!! whyyy

god?! why?!!! Okay, so I admit I can be a little dramatic. If God did call me to singleness it wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen to me.

Simply Delicious

If you’re single (or you remember when you were), you’ve probably asked yourself those questions and more. You’ve also most likely had to battle the comparison trap. I was in this boat one very lonely night after watching yet another friend find love and get married. I began comparing myself to all my friends who were now wives. I thought about how much I hated to cook, how I don’t like doing laundry, how I couldn’t sew or do any of the things that a “good wife” is supposed to do. I don’t even like to babysit! I thought about the Proverbs 31 wife and all that she did for her family and husband. And with each comparison, I grew more and more discouraged and weary. If finding a husband was based on what I can do, then forget it! There was no hope for this athletic, minimal-makeupwearing tomboy. In my moment of self-pity, God spoke something to me I will never forget. He told me that the Proverbs 31 woman isn’t great because of what she does, but because of the character behind her actions. Those words drove me to spend some serious time looking at her character and not just notice her actions. I carefully examined each verse of Proverbs 31:10–31 and asked God to reveal the woman’s godly character to me, and then I wrote down each of her traits next to each verse.

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by LYNDA GROVE

by Chelsea Seaton

A [single] wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs

31:10

As I saw each character trait, God spoke again and said, “Chels, don’t wait for a husband to start becoming a godly wife. A godly wife is something to become before I bring him to you.” Immediately it was clear to me that if I continued to fixate on having a godly guy, I’d miss out on becoming a godly wife. I was expecting character from him that I didn’t display myself. And then the thought occurred to me that a guy with great character wouldn’t be attracted to a girl without that same level of character. So I took my “husband checklist” and turned it into a checklist for me … with the exception of tall, dark and handsome. I left those traits for him. My focus has shifted now. I’ve put my binoculars away, come down from the looking tower and stopped searching for Prince Charming. Instead, I’m looking inward and letting Jesus restore what’s broken in my life. And really, what I’m doing is simply preparing. When God brings my husband into my life, I want to have been preparing my finances, my mind, my heart and even my cooking skills. And I pray that God is refining him for me the way that He’s refining me. It doesn’t matter how many more bridesmaid dresses I’ll adorn or how many more weddings I’ll attend, because loving him and being prepared for him is more than worth the wait.

implicity. It’s the one thing we’re all searching for these days, especially in the kitchen. No matter how good of a cook you are, quick and easy solutions to mealtime quandaries are always lifesavers … especially if they’re also healthy and delicious. Try these yummy desserts to satisfy your sweet tooth and your busy schedule.

Fruit & Yogurt Parfait 32 oz Fage Greek yogurt (You can get this at Costco or Central Market.)

⅓ cup honey (or to taste) 8 oz fresh strawberries

Marshmallow Crème and Chocolate Fondue

4 oz fresh blueberries 4 oz fresh raspberries or blackberries 12–14 chocolate covered graham cracker cookies, lightly crumbled (or substitute your favorite cookie)

Marshmallow Crème 1 cup powdered sugar

7 oz marshmallow crème

8 oz softened cream cheese

Lemon or orange zest for garnish

Mix first 3 ingredients well; garnish with fruit zest. Makes 3 cups. *For lemon crème, add 1 tbsp lemon curd.

6–8 cookies, whole Blend honey and yogurt together; mix well. Layer crumbled cookies, fruit and yogurt mixture in 6 parfait glasses. Repeat. Top with fruit and chill 4 hours. Garnish the top of each with a cookie. Serves 6–8.

Chocolate Fondue 2 tsp cornstarch

¼ cup sugar

1 cup water

1 tsp vanilla

¼ cup cocoa

Dash of cinnamon

Combine cornstarch and water in a saucepan. Add remaining ingredients. Cook over medium heat and let boil 1 minute, stirring constantly. Serve warm. You can make it ahead and reheat slowly in a microwave. Yield: 1 cup

For dipping: Fresh fruit Cookies Pretzels

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Fearless It all began four years ago, right after I had my fourth son. I was in non-stop, full-on “Mommy Mode,” complete with all the accompanying joys and trials. I was overjoyed to discover the miracle-working powers of wet wipes—they don’t just work on baby bottoms; they work on pretty much everything! On the other hand, I was dismayed to realize that diaper genies aren’t really all that efficient when you have two children in diapers. Then one ordinary day, in the midst of all my craziness, the voice of my God and Creator pierced through my mommy brain with clarity. I see you.

God is so much bigger than any injustice, and my responsibility is simply to be “all of me” and to follow Him.

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by Marissa Star

A little surprised, I was like, “Well, hi there, God.” At that point, I’m sure God was probably thinking, “Okay, let’s try this again.” No. (pause) I see you. (long weighty pause) I see more than just piles of laundry, menu lists and abcs. I see the uniquely crafted person I made in your mother’s womb. I see your passions. I see all of you. In that moment, I realized just how much I had really enjoyed not being seen. I knew being “seen” by God meant that I was accountable to all the gifts and callings He saw in me. I was suddenly flooded with the overwhelming feeling of: “How can I, a wife and mom with four little boys, totally pursue God and all the passions He’s placed in my heart?” I was terrified at the thought of actually being who God said I was and actually doing what He said I was created to do. Insecurity, false humility, fear of people’s responses and rejection, you name it, were all having a grand ol’ party in my heart tossing around lies everywhere like exploding confetti. I had to confront these fears before I could live as “all of me” for the Lord. Finding out that God saw me and then believing I really was who He said I was, was like defeating the first gnarly giant on my way into my Promised Land—living fearlessly every day in the now will of God. The first thing the Lord had me do was dig up and open the casket where I had buried my passion for the arts. He told me to step out, face my fears and get out on stage in front of a bunch of people. Talk about wanting to pee my pants! I thought I was going to die. And in a way, I guess I did. I walked away from that stage a completely different person—I became a wife, a mom and a woman who trusted God’s faithfulness more than she ever had before. And that was just the beginning of a new life for me … of acting, of writing, of leading … of really responding to God’s voice and living fearlessly.

But the real challenge came recently when the Lord told me to join a group of women from my church planning to go to Greece to partner with the A21 Campaign—an organization that houses women in shelters who have been rescued from human trafficking. I asked the Lord, “Are You kidding me? I’m just a wife and stay-at-home mom. How can I possibly make a difference? This injustice is just too huge!” But as I spent time in God’s presence, He changed my heart. I realized that it’s not my responsibility to be God and try to solve such a huge injustice. God is so much bigger than any injustice, and my responsibility is simply to be “all of me” and to follow Him. God led me to ask my family, my friends and all the people I’m connected with through social networking to partner with me by either sponsoring me for a walkathon or walking with sponsors of their own to raise funds for my trip and for the a21 Campaign. I also sold t-shirts to raise awareness. Through the walkathon and the t-shirts, we not only raised the funds I needed to go on the trip but also quite a bit more for the a21 Campaign. I was happy with the outcome of the event, but I was even more blessed by God’s incredible faithfulness. To live fearlessly, our confidence has to be grounded in God’s faithfulness. He’ll never ask us to do something that He isn’t going to do with us, and He’ll never shame us when we trust and obey His voice. What is your passion? Are there fears and lies keeping you one step away from fearlessly living it out? The God of creation sees you … all of you. No matter what season you’re in, I encourage you to step out into the fullness of who God has called you to be. And when you do, you’ll discover that there’s so much freedom that comes from living fearlessly!

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Pink Voice Vision Communications International

The A21 Campaign

Thessaloniki, Greece thea21campaign.org Point Person: Christine Caine A global church leader awakening the church to the issue of human trafficking around the world.

Arlington Police Department

Arlington, Texas arlingtonpd.org Point Person: Stephanie Gillespie Combats core issues of poverty, hunger and hopelessness by serving women and children as advocate and mentor.

Cairo, Egypt visioncommunications.org Point Person: Hala Saad An international media face and voice, broadcasting Christian programming to Arab nations.

Mission Arlington

Arlington, Texas missionarlington.org Point Person: Tillie Burgin Meets and helps people at their point of need—whether it’s physical, social, emotional or spiritual.

Pink Voice is a new outreach initiative of Pink, focused on extending compassion, mercy and justice to women and children in need.

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Child Empowerment International Columbo, Sri Lanka childempowerment.org Point Person: Janet Salmon Develops homes and schools for traumatized and orphaned children in a nation ravaged by civil war and natural disaster.

Many women and children around the world live in desperate and difficult situations. Some are trapped in slavery, some in poverty and some by cultural discrimination. Oppression manifests itself in many different forms: abuse, addiction, depression, hopelessness, hunger and injustice … just to name a few. And this isn’t only happening in faraway lands and unseen places. Many of our sisters live in oppressive situations right here in our own backyard. And many of them don’t know Jesus.

Over a year ago, the Pink team began to pray about how could we unite Gateway women to use our giftings and resources to help others. What would happen if God were to burn the needs of a person, a cause or a nation into our hearts? Pink has developed key relationships with some specific organizations and missions that serve women and children who are in desperate situations and have very real needs. Some of these organizations work on a local level, some on a national level and some on an international level; all are proven ministries that are impacting their communities and cultures by

demonstrating God’s love and compassion. As a result, we are now in a position to organize Pink women, along with all of our combined resources and passions, to meet specific and practical needs.

Our short-term goals are: • To work through key relationships with organizations and missions that have proven to be effective. • To form a strategic prayer covering for those who serve and are served. • To mobilize Pink women in ways that bring practical help and hope to those we are called to serve.

Are you concerned about the issues of abuse, human trafficking, hunger or oppression? Are you wondering what you can do to make a difference? Pink Voice is your opportunity to stop just being concerned and start taking action. All Pink women are invited and encouraged to consider participating in a Pink Voice outreach project.

Your qualifications for participation are: • An active interest in and heart for issues related to justice, mercy and the rescue and care of women and children. • A prayerful heart to seek God and His counsel for wisdom. • A willingness to actively get involved in serving women and children in need.

Visit pink.gatewaypeople.com to find out more about our 2011 partnerships and how you can be involved. It’s time to answer God’s call!

Spring 2011 25

studio health

Super Vitamin D

ore and more studies are revealing the benefits of having plenty of vitamin d and the dangers of having too little. For years, doctors have advocated the intake of vitamin d as a partner to calcium and magnesium, because it helps our bones absorb these essential elements and assists in the prevention of osteoporosis. But a recent flood of new research is revealing that vitamin d does much more.

A lot more, in fact. All of our bodily functions seem to rely on this nutrient, and studies show that it’s a key to helping prevent everything from migraines to cancer. A study by University of Toronto researchers revealed that breast cancer patients with low vitamin d levels had a 73 percent higher risk of death than women who had sufficient levels of vitamin d. Those with low levels of vitamin d were also proven to have more aggressive tumors. At the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, researchers found that colon cancer patients with high levels of vitamin d have a 61 percent greater chance of survival. This trend might apply to all cancers, says Edward Giovannucci,

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by Jan Greenwood

md, scd, professor of nutrition and epidemiology at the Harvard School of Public Health. Many autoimmune diseases, including diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, Parkinson’s and heart disease, are being linked to low levels of this nutrient. Researchers believe that low vitamin d levels contribute to inflammation in the body and an apathetic response of the immune system to the threat of disease. Low vitamin d levels are also being linked to increased body fat and reduced muscle strength. According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism, women who had low amounts of vitamin d had 24 percent more body fat than those with normal levels of the nutrient. The problem is that most of us—53% of women, 41% of men and 61% of kids—have insufficient levels of vitamin d. Though our bodies naturally produce the vitamin from the sun’s uvb rays, we usually don’t absorb nearly enough sunlight to manufacture an adequate amount. The good news is that it’s easy and inexpensive to boost your vitamin d levels. A simple blood test will reveal if you are vitamin d deficient and under the supervision of your physician, a daily supplement (which is inexpensive

and readily available at your local health food store) can help to restore the body to the appropriate blood levels, thereby dramatically reducing the potential of the development of many diseases, pain, depression and death. The bad news is that it’s not yet a common practice to screen for this key supplement and as a result, deficiency often goes undetected until some form of illness or disease sends a physician in search of the root cause of their patient’s symptoms. Since vitamin d is a natural nutrient that cannot be patented, there isn’t an incentive for drug companies to research and/or promote the use of this vital nutrient as a tool for disease treatment or prevention. Be proactive about your own health and the health of your loved ones. The studies are piling up to support the initial findings. Ask your physician for a basic blood screening and take action now to insure you have a sufficient level of vitamin d.

Recommended Reading · vitamindcouncil.org · The Vitamin D Solution

(by Michael F. Holick, PhD, MD)

Be Who You Are by Mallory Bassham

hen I was a kid, there were countless times our phone would ring with friends on the line letting us know they were dropping by. These calls always spurred my mom and me into action. We turned into supersonic snatch and grabbers. Swishing, sweeping and slinging everything that didn’t “belong” into unique and mysterious places. We hid the messes by throwing all kinds of things down the clothes chute, in the extra bedroom and even in the broiler pan. By the time our guests arrived, they were always greeted by my lovely, calm mother who appeared to have it all under control. We knew not to open the oven and to be careful when opening the cabinet doors. And under no circumstances were we allowed to let anyone in Mom and Dad’s bedroom! It was so much fun! So now, whenever there’s stuff around that isn’t pretty, acceptable or clean and I find out someone’s going to be dropping by, I just toss it down the clothes chute or throw it behind a door … whatever I have to do to hide it. However, while that’s okay to do

The journey of being a Christian begins right where you are.

with dishes, towels, stacks of mail and papers, it’s a completely different story when you try and compartmentalize your life. Twenty eight years ago, I gave my heart to the Lord and began the journey of learning about Him, other Christians and just others in general. At the time, I didn’t have much experience with the “church world” (I even had to ask my husband what “tithing” meant.). I did church at church, work at work, and at home, I was a wife and mom. I had work friends in one box, neighbors in another, my church friends in their own box and then my friends whom I shared my struggles and fears with. Life was compartmentalized, and it gave me a false sense of security. I could just go to church, be quiet, listen to the pastor, feel encouraged and then go to work, the grocery store and the gym without ever having to talk about or go into great detail about my faith. I forgot that 1 Peter 3:15 tells us to, “Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you’re living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy.” But after a while, I grew discontent. I started to realize that keeping God in His own little box really wasn’t working for me. I watched as people I knew only from a distance fell deeper and deeper in love with Jesus. They lived life and loved it. Everything wasn’t perfect in their lives, but there was something that set them apart. There was an authenticity about them, a transparency that was refreshing and inviting. It looked so appealing, and I desperately wanted what they had.

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One day, I was having coffee with a friend, and I asked her what she thought our lives would be like if we lived out loud for God every day, all the time. At that moment, I felt like God gently hugged me close and said, “Okay, now you’re starting to get it.” So, I started putting God first in my life and asking Him to help me meld all my worlds together and stop compartmentalizing between my “spiritual” life and my “regular” life. And just as God’s Word says, my thoughts and feelings began to reflect His advice in my everyday activities as well as in my major decisions and challenges. God spoke to me and inspired me to make wise choices and behave in a manner that honored Him. And as a result, God’s presence began to naturally permeate all the areas of my life.

So if you ever decide to drop by my home unexpectedly and ring my doorbell, you may still hear me slinging all the items off my messy counter into the nearest drawer. But when I open the door, my heart will be full of a desire to honor God in everything I say and do, and I hope you see it and feel it. I want to be a transparent, authentic, no-holding-back, sweet woman of God who welcomes God into every area of her life.

The journey of being a Christian begins right where you are. I love that about God. He doesn’t make you first clean up, organize, get rid of stuff or hide things away; He just asks for your heart. However, being a Christian is also a work of progress, and whatever you seek first organizes the rest of your life. So when you’re seeking to know God and get close to Him by taking time to pray every day and study His Word, you become primed to receive His guidance. As you quiet your mind and heart, your senses are honed to hear and see His will. His Word becomes a lamp to your feet and a light to your path (Psalm 119:105), and you become immersed in His wisdom and presence. The more time and attention you devote to God, the more you realize that He is always enveloping you and instructing you in the way you should go.

Busted by Paula Hemingway

y dream as a preteen was to get a bra—the threshold into womanhood. As I approached adolescence, however, that door of development wasn’t opening for me. In fact, my door was stuck.

The first girl I knew who wore a bra was in my sixth grade class. I thought she was so lucky. It wasn’t just luck, though. Becky was developed. She needed the “Cross Your Heart” support system. When we recited the pledge to the flag every morning, I noticed she apparently didn’t know where to put her hand. A little higher on the chest would have been good. Around this time, my family took a summer trip to visit my grandparents in Missouri. I was excited about this particular visit, because my older, prettier and much cooler cousins would be there. When they arrived, their rowdy family of ten descended on my grandparents’ house like confetti. They complained about how hot they were from the trip. My cousin, Peggy, announced, “I’m going to go change my bra.” She’s so lucky! She’s not only cool and pretty, she also wears a bra. Later, while in an upstairs closet, I noticed Cousin Peggy’s bra sitting prim and proper on a shelf. I stood there admiring the pretty lace, wanting one of my own. I wished I wasn’t flat as a chalkboard. By junior high, all my girlfriends wore bras. In fact, it seemed every female my age got to cross her heart every day.

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Even though I loved sports, junior high gym class turned out to be as fun as a mammogram. Since we had to change clothes and shower, I constantly tried to hide my little-girl figure from the voluptuous women surrounding me. I kept my secret well, because no one seemed to notice or comment about my door-shaped figure. However, I was intensely aware of it and wondered if something was physically wrong with me. Gym class was bearable, though, compared to the devastating discovery I made one day when I was 14 years old. The day had started out fine—at least as fine as it gets when you’re a braless teenager. But then I caught sight of a bra that dealt a double d blow to my frail female ego. I wailed, not able to control my sense of loss and worthlessness. “I can’t take it anymore! This is the worst day of my life!”

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My mother asked me many times what was wrong as I sat on the side of my bed, my strapless shoulders shaking. I couldn’t tell her. My spectacular sobbing session seemed to have no end. The best I could muster was to point at my younger sister’s chest—of drawers. Mom looked bewildered as she walked over and opened the bottom drawer. She stared at the contents, more perplexed than ever. “Socks?”

by Debbie morriss

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Everyone seems to be chasing the American Dream. Everyone wants to enjoy the highest quality of life possible by being prosperous and successful. The truth is, our quality of life has far more to do with our mindset than how much is in our bank accounts or where our zip code is. It’s completely possible to improve your world without emptying your purse or changing your address. Here are four free ways to improve your life.

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“no!” Why can’t she read my mind? I knew I was being ridiculous, but I couldn’t help myself. The whole thing Pink (Gateway Pink store Think Pink Women) was embarrassing and humiliating. Finally, she asked if it had anything to do with the bra in my sister’s drawer. My increased wailing was her answer. She still didn’t seem to comprehend my devastation. Who Think would have Studio G Pink Pink (Gateway Women) Pink store ever guessed I deemed a bra my ticket to a successful life? My sister, who was 15 months younger than I, was Delicious a woman; I was still a little girl. It wasn’t fair! Mom offered to buy a bra for me, even though I didn’t need Studio G Think Pink one. That made me more upset.

Delicious Delicious Flickr I’d just about resigned myself to a 10-year-old body forFlickr the rest of my life when the door to the sisterhood of bra-wearers finally flung open—just in time for college. Unfortunately, the family budget restricted my new Facebook lingerie to a utilitarian cotton type, rather than the delicate Delicious Flickr lacework of pretty Peggy’s. Oh well, I wasn’t complaining. At least my dignity had been restored, and I’d joined the Facebook MySpaceMySpace Facebook ranks of curvy females. Now life could begin!

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1. Laugh.

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Delicious Amazingly though, once I was fully equipped, I remember little about it. Where was the thrill of crossing my heart? Where were all the Facebook boyfriends? Certainly MySpace after I’d worn one for a while, my junior high bra fixation seemed as if all my Corn Flakes weren’t in the box. I didn’t instantly Delicious become popular or a better person—I Flickr was just normal. But the truth was I had always beenFacebook normal. It was merely a different normal from others. Pink (Gateway Women) Pink store God has made each of us uniquely different, and Pink Groups accepting that truth is truly a grown-up thing to do. Moaning about “I don’t have this” and “I don’t have that” is childish. Many times those things we dislike about Facebook MySpace Studio G Thinkblessings Pink Pink Impact ourselves are in disguise. I hadn’t appreciated those years I’d been bra-free. But now that I’m free of my bra and body obsession, I’m thankful for those struggles. They taught me to look for the soft padding in thorny situations and hook on to those positives, lifting me above my current challenges. Now that’s a Delicious grown-up woman—cross my Flickr heart.

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Funny things happen all around us, and we all do some really silly things. Allow yourself the opportunity to laugh. Laughing has great benefits for our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. A hearty laugh relieves tension and stress for up to 45 minutes. Laughing decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, which increases resistance to disease. Laughter triggers the release of Retweet endorphins, the body’ s natural feelgood chemical. It also protects the heart by improving the function of blood vessels and blood flow.

3. Play.

Purposefully adding recreation to your schedule improves your mood and attitude. Recreation replenishes your mind and also helps you bond with friends or your spouse. Try playing a game, competing on a sports team or having a game night for the entire family in order to expose yourself and those around you to the benefits of recreation.

2. Forgive.

It’s inevitable that hurts StumbleUpon Diggare going

to come your way, but you have a choice in how you respond to them. Twitter Retweet Forgive quickly. Stop rehearsing the wrong and believe the best about the Digg person who wronged you. A recent article from the Mayo Clinic points out that forgiving others has several including healthier StumbleUponimportant benefits Digg relationships; greater spiritual and psychological well-being; less stress Pink Podcasts and hostility; lower blood pressure; fewer symptoms of depression, anxiety and chronic pain and finally, a lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse. Pink Inc.

4. Live.

Live life righteously. Isaiah 32:17 says the fruit of righteousness is peace. Living righteously isn’t keeping a bunch of rules; it’s being in right standing with God. When we’re living in right relationship with God, His peace invades our busy lives.

Retweet passionate, positioned, purposeful, powerful, poised

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Deep breaths, Katy. Just sit still for 30 seconds, and then you can get back to work. I sit down and start counting, 1, 2, 3, 4 … good quality time for 30 seconds. I should have set a timer! As I’m thinking, I hope he appreciates my sacrifice, Mr. Let’s Just Hang Out looks at me and says, “Katy, just relax. Don’t worry about all that stuff.” Bam! Direct hit. All he wants is for me to relax and be with him? He doesn’t want me to do “all that stuff” for him? This thought completely throws me off, and for a perfectionist that is unacceptable! Rocking the boat is not on my Monday evening to-do list. Now I’m faced with a decision—stick with the plan (which I’m leaning towards) or learn what “leisurely” means by sitting with my husband and talking about our day. Hmmm, if I only had my notepad, I could make a list of pros and cons. This scenario may be a little exaggerated, but when Kyle and I were first married, this is pretty close to how it was and how I felt. It was a daily inner struggle for me to stop doing things for him and learn how to simply be with him.

Mrs. To-Do List Meets Mr. Let’s Just Hang Out by katy davis

I am Mrs. To-Do List. I love the smell of ink scratching off the items on my list and the feeling that comes over me when I organize the pantry. The sound of the dishwasher, washing machine and dryer all running at the same time is music to my ears. It’s like they’re singing: “We are multitasking and cleaning … what could be better in life?” You can hear it, can’t you? Think I’m crazy yet? Well, I’m just getting started! A rush of energy flows through me when I see my color-coded calendar and meals for next week neatly listed on the fridge. Excel sheets in complete order, clean snug sheets on the bed and my Christmas décor packed in matching tubs and labeled make my heart flutter. Something deep inside me comes alive when my world is in order. So, of course, God perfectly matched me with Mr. Type A, right? Wrong! Let me introduce you to Mr. Let’s Just Hang Out—aka, my husband, Kyle. Mr. Let’s Just Hang Out leisurely (leisurely!) comes home from work nine minutes after he says he will and tosses his empty Tupperware from yesterday’s lunch in the sink. He plops down on the couch and then dares to say, “Hey, come chill for a minute.” What? Who does this man think I am? Some woman who can just stop what she’s doing and spend time with the man she loves? My insides are trembling as I set down the spatula and move towards the couch. As I get near, Mr. Let’s Just Hang Out slowly stretches out his arms to receive me.

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This “doing” vs. “being” journey has been full of ridiculous fights, but every day has made me more aware of what is truly important. My tendencies were to live by doing, but after years of learning from my patient husband, I now understand the value in living by being. The two opposite extremes of our personalities have helped us to each find a healthy balance between responsibilities and relationship. If God had created Kyle as a “Mr. Type A,” we probably would have woken up 10 years into our marriage, looked at each other and said, “Who are you?” The never-ending business of completing tasks and staying on top of things would have never allowed us to enjoy each other.

What? Who does this man think I am? Some woman who can just stop what she’s doing and spend time with the man she loves? I thank God that Kyle still goes and wanders around Goodwill hunting for treasures when he’s supposed to be washing the car or that he forces me to watch a movie on the couch even when the kitchen is messy. His love for enjoying life has taught me how to turn off my “doing” mode and focus more on being me. I still have a long way to go, but for now, I’m proud to say that my spatula has no power over me anymore, and I will gladly set it down to just hang out with my Mister.

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